Title: 'JLOTTTSWBSBATDTM, EITARP'
By: Aearlor
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine. All the characters belong to the BBC and RTD.
Summary: Jack's list of things that twenty-something Welsh boys shouldn't be able to do to him, even if they are ridiculously pretty' Jack's thoughts when he asks Ianto on that date. The Welsh are scary, dammit.

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Captain Jack Harkness is over a hundred and fifty years old and has travelled to practically every universe in existence, in any combination of different time zones. He has travelled looking for what was left of his past, he has travelled as time agent, he has travelled just for the sake of travelling, he has travelled as a con-artist and he has travelled as the companion of one of the most brilliant things in existence.

He has slept with men, women, aliens, teenagers and with some sub-genders that only occurred in certain alien races, he has pulled no matter where he went, hell when he was a time agent getting some was all but in the job's contract. Truth be told Jack Harkness was a bit of a [Insert Gender or race here's man.

He has spent a year being tortured at the hands of the master, he has seen the end of the world, he has fought at the Somme and lost uncountable comrades in World War two, he has lost his brother and his father, for god sakes he has spent five years practically married to Captain John Heart. It was like having a wife, but he bitched more and probably wore more make-up.

He has seen some of the most awful, amazing, remarkable, ugly, unjust, appalling, astounding, nastiest, beautiful, depraved, stunning things that have or ever will happen, anytime, anyplace. He has endured far more than he deserves, more than anyone deserves, and now nothing shocks him, nothing seems to really faze him. History goes in circles and Jack has been round so many times he could all but predict what would happen at the next turn but right now he has never been more terrified. The Welsh are scary, dammit.

"How are you Ianto?" concern creeps into his voice and he doesn't try to hide it. A bit of not-so-subtle flirting broke the very nearly amicable silence between them both, maybe it was too soon for anything like that? Jack realised Ianto had every reason to be angry, just when they had started going somewhere Jack had left. Just like you always do a voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like John snipes at him. He ignores it, as he's learned to do, and turns his attention to Ianto who had replied with:

"All the better for having you back," an almost smile, "Sir."

Oh god, this is such a bad idea. I've been gone over two months he is far too pissed off to even think about asking him out now.

"Can we, maybe drop the sir now?" Smooth Harkness, so goddamn smooth, you're practically stuttering. At that thought he almost shouted at John to be quiet, luckily he remembered it was all in his head. "While I was away I was thinking, maybe we could, y'know when this is all done; dinner? A Movie?"

Twenty-something Welsh boys should not render me so inarticulate, even if they are ridiculously pretty. And, god, I've just realised he's wearing pink; he should do that far more often. Oh, god I'm so out of practice of the whole dating thing it's not even funny; I haven't asked someone on a real date in almost forty years!

Ianto stops his searching and turns round to face Jack one hand leaves his hip as he asks, a look of doubt adorning his features "Are you asking me out on a date?"

The hand on hips and the slightly annoyed, possibly disbelieving look is not helping my nerves at all.

"Interested?" Jack attempts an indifferent look, a 'if you are interested; you're interested, if you're not; you're not' look. It doesn't completely fail.

The noise that he gets in reply though, he has decided, is the most adorable thing ever.

Oh, Jesus, I sound like a teenaged girl…
"Pft, well as long… as it's not in an office; some fetishes should be kept to yourself."

Oh, god, how I've missed you and your sarcastic comments Ianto. They're not covering up how extraordinarily flustered you are, though. Yeah, The Harkness has still got it Jack thinks with a grin, it's then he notices that Ianto is looking through the pages of a folder as if a radio-active canister could possibly be there, definitely a lot more flustered than he's letting on.

"It looks like we're going to have to go through every draw, bin and plant pot." Followed by a nervous 'heh', that didn't sound right coming from Jack.

"Right, okay, I'll do this floor, don't want you getting over excited." The first genuine smile he gets from Ianto since he got back. Jack is slightly confused, a minute ago he had been shot down for daring to make an innuendo, but now Ianto was doing just that. He was adding that to the list of things twenty-something Welsh boys shouldn't be able to do to him. Right under '1) Render me so inarticulate' would be '2) Confuse me so goddamn much.'

"You take the roof, you're good on roofs."

Jack nods and makes his way to the double doors and just as he is about to open them, "Jack?" He turns round and faces Ianto, "Why, are we helping him?"

"He's a reminder of my past; I want him gone." Jack replies, because it's true. He has spent so much time running away from the past and the fact it could catch him up so easily, as if Jack had never even started running, honestly? It scares Jack, but he keeps that under a mask of mild annoyance.

Ianto goes back to searching but is interrupted by Jack, "By the way, is that a yes?" Uncertainty seeping into his voice.
"Yes, yes." Ianto sounds a little annoyed, possibly because he's a bit embarrassed, but Jack is to busy smirking to himself to really notice.

They're starting to go somewhere, Jack's doctor couldn't fix him and maybe Ianto could, just not in the same way.

Because number three on Jack's list of things that twenty-something Welsh boys shouldn't be able to do to him, even if they are ridiculously pretty (Which Jack had started referring to in his as 'LOTTT-SWBSBATDTM, EITARP' that was until he realised it was actually more confusing to call it that) is quite simply:

'3) Let me take him and how great we are together for granted ever again.'

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