Title: fy Cariad
By: Baconaise-Light
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13
A/N: I came up with this fic while listening to Remember me by Josh Groban. It is NOT a suicide fic, i cannot stress that enough- IANTO DOES NOT DIE.
Summary: AU fic. What if the year that never existed DID exist? What if Jack came back to find his team in turmoil and Ianto missing?

***

Prologue

The photo that Ianto had removed from the walls was beginning to fade a little, just like the memory of the person pictured grinning in it. The corners were creased and the edges felt flimsy as the young Welshman's fingers tightened around it. The man in the photo was winking at the photographer, his brown fringe framing his handsome face, his arm resting on Ianto's shoulder. It had been taken a year earlier, way before they had met Gwen- when the team had been forced to deal with enormous rift activities on a beach in Norway.

Ianto felt a lump in his throat, as he hurriedly stuffed the photo into his pocket and picked up the tray of three mugs of coffee, waiting on the counter. He walked slowly into the main lab and forced a small smile on his face as he approached the rest of the team.

"Coffee Gwen?" he asked softly, stooping down to expertly pass a cup to the brunette as she scribbled away at some paperwork.

"Thanks Ianto- you're a darling," she smiled kindly- and Ianto could see concern etched across her face. "How are you today?"

"I'm fine thank you," he mumbled, passing her desk and slipping the other two mugs onto the desk beside Tosh and Owen, who were arguing about something that seemed to involve poker.

They looked up as Ianto passed, giving the same comforting smile as Gwen. Ianto scowled and returned to the kitchen, placing his hands on the counter to steady himself. Fresh tears poured out of his eyes as he contemplated what he was about to do.

The packet lay open on the counter as he opened it and placed one of the white pills in his jean pocket, hands shaking. He stumbled back into the lobby and tapped Gwen on the shoulder. She span round in her chair and smiled up at him.

"Hey Ianto. What's up?"

Ianto coughed nervously. "I'm going to get some fresh air for a bit. Make sure to put your mug in the kitchen when you're done," his voice came out hoarse, but he managed a quick smile at the end.

"Okay sweetheart," Gwen replied. "Get some rest. You look worn out."

Ianto nodded solemnly and span round.

"That is the last time I'm going to speak to her," he mumbled to himself as he let himself out of the hub. "I think I'm going to miss them. All of them."

By this point, Ianto was crying uncontrollably. With one last look at the monument hiding Torchwood, he placed the pill in his mouth and sat down near the docks to await his fate. Whatever that might be.

***

8 months later

Only one figure was to be seen in the courtyard that night.

His brown hair hung loosely round his handsome face, a long blue coat billowed round his ankles. He stepped up to the giant silver sculpture in the courtyard and ran his fingers gently over the shiny surface.

"I've missed you girl," he whispered. "You missed me?"

He chuckled. "Course you have."

Jack Harkness grinned as he approached the familiar entrance to his old home. He couldn't wait to see them all again. Though he reckoned he'd have quite a lot of explaining to do, especially to Ianto. He couldn't wait to hear his sexy welsh voice again, or feel his arms wrapped around him.

Jack pushed at the door and entered the small reception area. However, instead of the Welshman he hoped to see behind the desk, there was a pile of old pizza boxes stacked up against the wall.

"What the hell?" Jack mumbled, going over to them and examining them with disdain. "This place has really fallen in standards since I left!"

He sighed and pushed the red button to let himself in. Nothing. He pressed it again. And again. And another time just to make sure.

"Am I in the right place?" Jack wondered aloud. Surely Ianto would've fixed these things by now.

He picked up the black telephone and dialled Gwen's mobile.

"Hello Gwen Cooper speaking, who's this?" the brunette's voice sounded tired and annoyed- not like the Gwen Jack used to know and love.

"Gwen? Can you open the door please?" Jack asked softly.

"Who is this- who's calling me?"

"It's…Jack," Jack mumbled.

The phone clicked and a dial sounded. Jack sighed and sadly put down the phone. Well, it's not like he wasn't expecting it. He did abandon them.

However, just as Jack was about to give up and go home (which was where?), the door clicked and slid open with a creak.

Jack grinned. "At least they let me in," he shrugged and stepped slowly into the long corridor. He silently strolled down the corridor and into the lift, literally shaking at the prospect of seeing his team again. He had missed them so much while he was away.

Stepping out into the hub, Jack noticed that it was unusually quiet. The computer desk where Tosh was usually sitting, typing away was vacant, and the orange basketball lay lifeless and deflating under what appeared to be a heap of dinosaur droppings.

Jack wrinkled his nose. "Hello? Anyone in?" he called into the emptiness.

"Jack Harkness- you fucking wanker!" was all he heard before a fist came flying at his face, and all went black.

***

Jack Harkness awoke with a splitting headache. He was bemused and slightly anxious, to find a short silver handled dagger petruding from his chest and he reached down to painfully pull it out.

"Ow!" he cursed, wiping the blood on his shirt. "How long was I out?"

"About four hours," Owen muttered glancing at his watch. "Maybe five."

"Did you have to use a dagger?" asked Jack, staring at the mess that used to be his favourite shirt. "A bullet's a lot less messy!"

"Wasn't me," Owen sighed glancing down at him with distain. "Though if Gwen hadn't got to you first it would've been."

"Gwen did this?"

Owen nodded. "No-one tried to stop her either." He scowled. "We all hate you for this Jack."

"I know," Jack shook his head glumly. "I found the Doctor."

"Did he fix you?"

"Nope. Don't think he can either." Jack grimaced and glanced around the empty hub. "Where is everyone anyway?"

"Gwen is out with Rhys: and Tosh is out weevil hunting. Not that you care."

Jack nodded. "What about Yan?"

A loud cry from the corner of the hub tore the two men away from the conversation.

"Don't you EVER say his name, Jack fucking Harkness!"

A small brunette propelled herself at Jack, and aimed a punch at him. He grabbed her arms and restrained her- though it wasn't easy.

Gwen Cooper's face was contorted with anger, her usually well kept hair hung loosely over her face and her eyes were red from tears.

"Gwen- calm down!"

"Don't you tell me to calm down Harkness! Do you know what you've done to us? To Ianto?"

Her punches, by now, were more accurate, and Jack collapsed slowly onto the floor, still shaking.

"Please…someone tell me what's going on?" he gasped. "What's happened to Ianto?"

"We don't know," Tosh muttered now entering and sitting beside Gwen to calm her down.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"It happened about 6 months after you left," Gwen began steadily. "Ianto was- a mess. He didn't sleep, it was obvious he wasn't eating properly and he was always crying."

"He tried to hide it," Owen muttered angrily. "He didn't want us to see that you'd made him that way."

Jack's face fell dramatically.

"Then one evening," Gwen continued slowly. "He told me he was going out for some fresh air. He never came back."

"We searched all over Cardiff," Tosh explained. "We even sent out a missing person's notice to the Police. We had the entire UNIT team looking for him as well." She shook her head. "Even the computers denied that a Ianto Jones had ever existed."

A tear escaped Jack's eye and he wiped it away angrily.

"Did he take Retcon?"

"We're not sure."

Jack nodded and took a deep steadying breath. "Continue as normal," he ordered, standing up and striding out of the room.

"Bastard," Gwen muttered.

***

"PC Harkness a body has been discovered on Cardiff Road, we're gonna need you and Parker down there ASAP, to check it out."

"Roger that sergeant, we're on our way."

Yestin Parker chuckled to himself as the remote beeped and switched itself off.

"Never a moments rest around here is there?" he asked reaching over to switch the siren on.

"Not hardly," laughed his companion. "But then what do you expect? You're a Police officer my fine fellow!"

The car pulled up at the side of the busy road and the two young Policemen jumped out to assess the situation. A large crowd had gathered around the Police tape and several people were screaming.

"Move out the way please sir!"

"Excuse me madam, I'm a Police officer could you let me through please?"

Somehow, they managed to push their way through the crowd. The sight before them had both men reeling with shock.

A body lay mangled in the centre of the ring, covered in what looked like teeth marks.

"What the hell?"

Both men crouched down over the body and grimaced.

"Have you ever seen anything like this Yestin?"

"Only on horror movies," Yestin replied scratching his chin thoughtfully. "Whoever did this has got a really sick mind."

"Most murderers have sick minds."

"Yea but this one is just creepy." Yestin frowned. "What's that sticking out of your pocket Harkness? Received a love letter you haven't told me about?"

"What are you talking about? I haven't got anything in my pock-"

The young Welshman stopped and frowned at the sight of a white piece of card sticking out of his deep pockets.

"Funny. I haven't worn this jacket in ages!" he muttered to Yestin. "I found it this morning under a pile of old newspapers. I don't remember anything being in here!"

He gingerly took it out and unfolded it.

"It's a photo of you!" grinned Yestin. "A really good one actually. When was this taken?"

PC Harkness frowned. "I have no idea!" he exclaimed. "I've never seen this photo before in my life!"

"Maybe you and your dad just look really, really alike?"

"Don't be stupid, my father looked nothing like me. He was ginger for one thing!"

"Anyway: not that I don't love staring at a picture of your long lost twin brother or anything, but we're meant to be working!" Yestin grinned. "Cummon, we'd better get the public out of here before we can get a better look!"

The two men stood up, ready to get the public moving and were surprised when they viewed an empty street.

"Where've they all gone?" asked Yestin rubbing his head. "They were here a minute ago!"

"Evacuation of the area!" a man informed running up. "Special op access! You need to move guys."

"Special Ops?"

"Probably bloody Torchwood again," grumbled Yestin. "Cummon, we need to move!"

His companion, however, was transfixed by the large black SUV that had just pulled up by the side of the road. Something seemed familiar about it; he just couldn't quite remember.

"Cummon we need to go!" shouted Yestin, running back. "Ianto!"

***

"Jack, the body is on Cardiff Road, just under the bridge. You need to get there fast; it's attracting a lot of public attention. Two police officers are already down there with forensic officers, but I don't think they'll be enough to dispel the crowds."

"Okay Tosh," Jack answered professionally. "We're almost there now. We're a bit slow because Gwen's driving."

"Hey!" Gwen frowned at him through the side mirror. "So what's this body anyway Jack?"

"We think it's a weevil attack. The body is completely mauled. Unrecognisable, but luckily the guy had ID on him."

The SUV drove to the side of the bust street and pulled up. Through the windscreen, Jack could see a forensics officer talking to two young Policemen. One backed away immediately and headed back towards the cars. The other however, seemed to be staring straight at them.

"Owen, who's the guy staring at us?" Jack asked suspiciously.

"I don't know," Owen frowned. "It's too dark out to tell, and he's wearing a hat."

The other Policemen soon stopped, realising his companion was no longer with him. The young man stopped and ran back towards him, tugging on his arm.

"Cummon we need to go!" the team could hear him shouting. "Ianto!"

There was a stunned silence.

"Ok either I'm going bonkers," muttered Gwen her eyes wide, "Or that guy said Ianto."

Owen laughed nervously. "Calm down Gwen, this is Wales. There are bound to be hundreds of Iantos running round. Doesn't mean it's our Ianto." He grinned. "Besides, he would never have made it as a Police officer. What do you think Jack...Jack?"

The team had failed to notice that Jack had exited the vehicle as soon as the name Ianto was mentioned. They now watched, stunned, as their boss ran towards the body and the Police officer in question. Owen was the first to snap back into action.

"We have to stop him! Even if that is Ianto, he's probably taken retcon!" Owen yelled jumping out the vehicle. "The poor guys gonna be scared to death!"

Jack, however, did not run up to the Police Officer, but instead stopped at the body.

"What's he doing?" Gwen muttered, also climbing out the car and quickly locking it.

Jack knelt beside the body, and pretended to examine it, all the while keeping an eye on the Policeman who was now having a quiet argument with his co-officer.

"Hey kid! What's your name?" Jack asked professionally, straightening up and turning to Ianto.

It was still too dark to see his face, but Jack could tell the young man was scared out of his mind.

"Um….Harkness. PC Ianto Harkness," The Policeman answered, holding out his hand.

Something inside Jack's throat caught, but he forced a smile and shook Ianto's hand.

"Well Harkness. Ianto Harkness, My team and I are in need of some Police assistance." Jack answered grinning. "Would you and your friend bring the body to our car and come with us please?"

The other man stepped forward. "That would damage the evidence sir!" he protested. "We're not allowed to do that!"

Jack raised an eyebrow. "What's your name?"

"PC Yestin Parker sir."

"Well Yestin you're a smart man, but we're Torchwood," Jack answered winking. "We can do anything!" he motioned with his finger for them to follow and headed over to the body.

"Gwen! Owen! We need your help over here!" he called to his team-mates waiting by the van. They hurried over and Gwen whispered in Jack's ear:

"Jack! What're you doing? We can NOT take them with us!"

Jack stopped what he was doing and grabbed her arm, steering her to the side.

"Gwen, I don't know if this is Ianto or not, but if it is, I am not going to let him run out of my life again!" he hissed angrily. "Believe me, I'll think of something!"

Gwen glared angrily at him and snatched her arm away. "You'd better," she warned. "Otherwise you risk exposing Torchwood to complete strangers."

"Gwen," Jack replied eyes twinkling. "His name is Ianto Harkness! Ianto Harkness! That HAS to be my Yan!"

"Well you're gonna need to see his face in the light," Gwen muttered. "Cos at the moment, we're just guessing."

Jack grinned and turned back to the group. "Sorry guys, no hats allowed on in the van!" He held out his hand. "Gwen will look after them for you!"

Ianto and Yestin shrugged and took off their helmets, but not before giving each-other a weird look. This experience was certainly new for them.

Gwen glared at Jack before accepting Yestin's helmet. She was about to take Ianto's too, but when she saw his face she froze with astonishment and the helmet she was now holding fell to the ground.

"Is something the matter?" Ianto asked kindly, picking up the discarded helmet and handing it back to her along with his own.

"Nothing," Gwen trembled, a small smile playing on her lips. "Nothing at all."

***

"These people are crazy, did you see the way they kept staring at you?"

"Yea, but it'd be rude to not help them. They're Torchwood!"

"So? Ianto, I think it's a really, really bad idea. In fact I think they want us as sacrifices!"

"Sacrifices? To what?"

"I dunno- their Gods maybe?"

"Yestin are you high?"

Jack smiled. The two men were now having a whispered conversation at the back of the SUV, unaware that their entire conversation could be heard by everyone. Still, Jack mused to himself, it was just like Ianto to listen to reason.

"Actually we were thinking of feeding you to our pterodactyl!" Jack winked at the two policemen who now looked utterly terrified.

"Don't worry," Gwen reassured them. "MyFanway doesn't eat Policeman."

Owen chuckled with amusement. "Don't worry mate they're just teasing!" he laughed to Yestin who was looking like he might wet himself.

"Jack?" Tosh's voice rang through the SUV making Yestin jump in horror, and Ianto look up surprised.

"Sorry," Jack chuckled. "Had it on speaker phone; what's up Toshiko?"

"Erm….I'm kind of having a bit of trouble back here!"

Jack frowned. He could hear a lot of background noise, and it involved a lot of gunshot.

"What kind of trouble?"

"Well…the thing is, the Hub's under attack," Tosh sounded embarrassed. "seeing as the old security system broke down last month, and none of the team know how to fix it- several weevils have managed to…Erm…"slip" in."

Owen grinned and rubbed his hands together in delight.

"Weevils!" he exclaimed happily. "I love weevils!"

Ianto looked confused. "Weevils?" he asked in horror. "We were told they were a terrorist group!"

Gwen suppressed a giggle.

"Sure kid," Jack rolled his eyes. "They're terrorists all right!"

He pulled the SUV to a sharp stop at the corner and the team leapt out, guns at the ready.

"You two stay here!" shouted Gwen to the two Police officers.

"Fat chance of that," Yestin muttered to Ianto, pulling himself out of the vehicle. "I want to see this!"

Ianto grinned and followed him, both taking out their guns…just in case.

Inside, the hub was a total mess. Paper littered the floor and several computers lay smashed. Ianto raised an eyebrow.

"You should get someone to tidy up round here once in a while," he muttered. "An untidy home is never a good home!"

Jack scowled. "Bloody know-it all," he muttered under his breath. "Where's Toshiko?"

"She's locked herself in one of the cells!" answered Owen, looking at the CTV footage. "The weevils are down there too!"

"Fuck!" cursed Jack running down the corridor towards the Hub's containment unit.

Ianto and Yestin followed uninvited; their guns still clutched in their shaking hands.

"Toshiko?" Jack yelled running towards the cells.

"In here Jack!" came the terrified response.

Jack found Tosh cowering the corner of one of the cells, watched by 6 hungry weevils.

He fired a shot into the air, attracting their attention.

"Oi!" Owen yelled, now joining Jack. "Step away from the Torchwood chick or I'll have your guts for garters!"

The weevils growled, but moved back obediently.

"Weevil King's still got the way with the ladies!" Owen cheered running over to unlock Tosh.

Yestin cowered behind Ianto in fear.

"What the fuck are they?" he cursed. "They're not terrorists!"

Gwen put a reassuring arm on his shoulder. "Come with me sweetheart," she comforted. "Let me get you something to drink."

Jack nodded at her- they would have to retcon him at least.

"What was that thing?" Ianto asked shakily. He was sitting in the corner, with his head in his hands.

"It's a weevil," Tosh began. "They're creatures that…"

"I know what they are," Ianto began. "Because I've seen them before."

***

"That's impossible!" Ianto exclaimed staring at the large winged beast as it circled above them. "Pterodactyls are extinct! There is no way you can have one!"

"Well you can see it can't you," muttered Owen angrily shuffling past him to Jack's office.

Jack was sitting at his desk, sorting through some paperwork that should have been done months ago. Of course, that was Ianto's job.

"Jack, you've got to get him out of here!" Owen complained, tapping him on the shoulder. "So far in the last hour, he's obsessed over the Pterodactyl, asked me how I got the bullet scar on my shoulder and found one of the frozen bodies in the morgue!" he winced. Ianto had not taken that experience lightly.

"I know it's troubling Owen," Jack replied, barely glancing up. "But I still need to speak to him about what he said earlier. If he's getting his memory back, we can't let him out yet."

Owen cursed under his breath and stormed out angrily.

"Tosh, have you checked Ianto Harkness up on the files?" questioned Jack, following Owen out of his office and standing behind the brunette.

"It says here, Ianto Harkness lives on 15 Valence Road, Cardiff, has worked as a Police-officer for about 6 months and shares a flat with a female companion," Tosh read, not glancing up.

"That would be my fiancé Saeth," Ianto muttered curtly. "And you can pry into my personal life by the way- are you sure you should have those files?"

"We're sure," Owen scowled.

"Fiancé?" Gwen looked up, surprised. "You're engaged?"

Ianto nodded, smiling. "It's a bit rushed seeing as we've only known each other for four months- but when it's right, you know it is!"

As Ianto said this, he felt an unexplained twinge of guilt run through his heart. He shrugged it off, and turned to speak to Jack, but he had vanished.

"Where's Jack?" asked Ianto curiously. "Wasn't he just there a minute ago?"

Tosh nodded. "He went into his office about 5 seconds after you mentioned Saeth," she whispered softly. "He needs to speak to you in private please."

Ianto shrugged and slowly made his way towards the Captain's office.

"Jack?" he pushed the door open slowly. "You wanted to speak to me?"

"Ah, Ianto," Jack's back was turned away from the door and his voice sounded a little strange. "I need to speak to you about that thing you said earlier."

Ianto nodded and sat down on the green chair next to Jack's desk.

"What did you mean by 'I've seen them before'?"

"I only just remembered as I saw them." Ianto explained. "when I was seven, my school was set on fire by some teenagers. One girl, my best friend Lorraine, went missing during the blaze." He scowled angrily. "'Special Ops' as they were called back then, were called in to find her, as they were the only people with the right equipment."

Ianto looked up at Jack, who still had his back turned to him, and seemed to be trembling.

"Jack you oka-?"

"Carry on."

Ianto nodded and continued. "They brought these beasts with them. Dog- like creatures like the ones I saw in the vaults," he shivered. "We were told not to watch but I crept back and hid in the bushes." He gulped and wiped his eyes. "I wish I hadn't. The weevils got to her Jack- they ripped her to shreds." Ianto looked up, a furious expression on his tear streaked face. "That was Torchwood wasn't it?"

"No- it wasn't Ianto," Jack whispered angrily. "Torchwood would never take such a risk."

Ianto nodded. "But one of them was you Jack. I remember. All I saw was you, a blonde woman, a man in a suit…and a big blue Police box."

Jack gulped. Now he remembered.

***

"Why were you there Jack?"

Jack didn't answer, and proceeded to stare out the window of his office, watching Gwen and Tosh chase Owen round the hub with the sub-atomic resonator.

"Jack!"

"It doesn't matter Ianto," Jack scowled. "Drop it!"

"She was my best friend!" Ianto yelled at him angrily. "I'd forgotten all about her until you and your team in your leather jackets and shit, turn up and drag me off to some fucking dump and act like you've known me for ten years- explain to me how that's possible! How could I have forgotten?"

"You were found in the bushes," Jack mumbled. "And ret-conned."

"So that's it then?" Ianto scowled. "That's all you're going to give me- Jack fucking Harkness? I was ret-conned! What the fuck does that mean?"

"You don't need to know anything else." The captain mumbled, "My team don't know- and you're not even one of them."

"I'm glad about that- I don't think I could survive a day with you Jack," Ianto spat. "Y'know what?- it's a good thing I met you, otherwise I might still have delusional faith in 'Special ops' or whatever you call yourselves- you're a fucking wanker Jack Harkness and I wish you were dead!"

Ianto wiped an angry tear from his eye, span on his heels and was about to storm out of the office when he noticed a small object lying on the desk.

It was a silver plated stopwatch. Ianto slowly stepped over to it; coolly ignoring Jack's stare and picked it up. It was fairly light in his hand, and somehow it felt familiar- as though it had been missing from him. The stopwatch looked fairly old- though it was still in stunning condition, a gold rim ran round the clock face, and the second hand ticked with impeccable timing.

"Lot's of things you can do with a stopwatch," Ianto mumbled, more to himself than anyone else.

Jack looked up immediately, his mouth wide open.

He paused for a moment, before replying softly. "Yes, I can think of a few."

Ianto barely glanced up. "There's quite a list," he whispered, still turning the silver object over in his hand.

He could suddenly remember a soft arm brushing down his back, cool lips on his, whispered terms of endearment in his ear- with an American ring to them.

"Yan…"

Ianto froze. That nickname sounded so familiar to him, but so far away- as though he was watching a film he couldn't quite relate to. He shook it off, dropped the stopwatch and returned to his stony glare.

"Good day Mr Harkness."

Once out into the cool night air, Ianto broke into a run. He was going mad- he must be. All these memories, that obviously weren't his kept springing to his mind. What was Torchwood? More importantly, who was Jack Harkness? And why did he feel a certain sense of belonging and understanding (and also some other things, which he did not want to think about) whenever he was around him? his mobile rang and he quickly answered it, shoving his free hand into his pocket.

"Hello?"

"Hey sweetheart, you on your way home?"

"Hey Saeth- yeah, I should be back in a few minutes."

"Okay darling- remember we're having lunch an old friend of mine tomorrow?"

"No?"

"Ianto you must do! I've reminded you every day for the past month and a half! She went to college with me, haven't seen her in years!"

Ianto sighed. "Okay fine. I'll se you in a minute then,"

"Yea. I love you,"

"Love you too."

Somehow, saying that didn't feel quite right tonight. Ianto shrugged and replaced his phone is his pocket. Sleep would rid him of these thoughts.

Jack sat at the desk, head in his hands, and stared at the smooth, mahogany surface.

"Shit," he muttered to himself angrily. "Completely screwed up now."

He pulled himself to his feet and slowly picked up the stopwatch that had been lying on the floor. He caressed its surface with his fingers, and remembered Ianto's delighted expression on his birthday two years ago, when Jack had presented him with it.

"I know how much you love to be on time," Jack had winked. "Now you can be dead efficient."

"We all know how much you'd love that," Owen had smirked from the corner.

Jack remembered how Ianto had blushed, and muttered a thanks. Back then, Ianto was still new to the team, and fairly shy.

Later, Ianto had joked to Jack about looking at Jack's ass in the reflection of his stopwatch, and commented that it was a brilliant thing; useful for more than time-keeping.

Jack groaned and softly place the stopwatch back on the shelf. He needed sleep.

***

Next part of fy Cariad.