Title: GilliGwen's Island
Author: bookwrm89
Prompt: AU Bingo - Other: Castaways
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys, Amy/Rory, Doctor, TARDIS, special guest star
Warnings: Slight character bashing but not maliciously
Author's Notes: When I got my AU bingo card and saw this prompt, my mind immediately went to Gilligan's Island. It just took me awhile to get it right. Massive amounts of thanks go to teachwriteslash, [personal profile] totally4ryo, bethmccombsand cjharknessgirlfor idea-bouncing, hand-holding and cheerleading.
Beta: cjharknessgirl

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Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful jaunt, that started from the Cardiff Hub, aboard this tiny box. The cop was a mighty hero gal, the Captain brave and - no, Jack, don't strip. Five other souls sail that day for a just one little trip.

The copper started poking round, the tiny box was tossed. If not for the courage of the fearless crew, the TARDIS would be lost. The TARDIS would be lost.

The box dropped down on the shore of this uncharted desert land, with Gwen agape, the Captain mad, Rory and his bride, the Coffee King, the Doctor and poor, loyal Rhys here on GilliGwen's Isle.

Gilligan's Island theme song fantastically adapted by [personal profile] teachwriteslash



~Somewhere in space and time~

"No, Gwen! Don't touch the..." Jack's voice was lost in the high-pitched whine of the TARDIS as it began to shudder and shake around them.

The Doctor, Jack, Rory and Amy all rushed around the console trying to stabilise the beleaguered ship but to no avail. The TARDIS came to an abrupt stop
with a bone jarring THUD that sent everyone except for Jack and the Doctor tumbling to the floor.

Ianto climbed slowly to his feet, muttering about loss of dignity and adding time-travelling to the list. Jack just chuckled and reached to help him dust off, copping a feel while asking the Doctor where they'd ended up.

Amy and Rory were standing next to the Doctor, arms around each other and almost bouncing in excitement. Rhys remained where he landed; a hand pressed to his head where he'd banged it against the wall.

Gwen didn't look up from where she was examining the tear in her favourite shirt.

"Right," the Doctor exclaimed brightly. "Do you want the really dreadful news first or the slightly less dire news?"

Greeted with three pairs of blue eyes, two pairs of brown and one bent head, the Doctor continued his explanation.

"Well, the TARDIS will be able to fly again - eventually; provided we can find the right parts she needs."

"I'm sensing a ‘but' coming up any moment here," Ianto murmured, ignoring both the Doctor's glare and Jack's snort of agreement.

"However," the Doctor continued with a pointed look at Ianto. "We've landed on Dauphin III, in the thirty-second century."

Jack's gasp echoed through the now silent chamber.

"Jack?" Ianto asked. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Jack grasped his lover's hand, even while his eyes never left the Doctor. "The Dauphin system wasn't discovered until the late thirty-third century, and it wasn't populated until the early thirty-fourth."

"What does that mean, Jack?" Gwen asked, finally joining the conversation. She shrank back from the identical looks of frustration and distress on the six faces turned her way.

"It means we're stuck here, Gwennie," Rhys replied.

"Stuck? Jack? How long?" she demanded, ignoring her husband.

Ianto quirked his eyebrow in disbelief at her obliviousness. "Barring a miracle, Gwen, we're stuck here for the rest of our natural lives."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seven months, one week and two days later....

"Has anyone seen my book of party games?" Gwen called, standing in the door of the TARDIS.

Rhys was the only one that looked up at his wife, although he noticed the self-satisfied smirk that crossed Ianto's face where the younger man was grinding the coffee beans he'd roasted himself.

The first couple of times Rhys had met the other Welshman, he'd dismissed Ianto as Jack's ‘pretty boy' assistant, although with a healthy added dose of sarcasm. He now knew that the young man was an extremely hard worker who's intelligence gave the Doctor a run for his money (although without the A.D.D. personality the Time Lord had); he could be as raunchy as Jack Harkness on his best (or worst, depending on how you looked at it) day; and as intensely loyal and devoted as Rory Williams.

Ianto Jones was also sneaky as hell and slightly evil, as Gwen had learnt about a month after they'd crash landed. Ianto had been carefully rationing his precious supply of coffee beans, hoping to make them last until he could harvest the coffee plants he'd found in the TARDIS garden to roast his own. Gwen had accidentally spilled the majority of his supply in the fire one evening when she'd tripped over a vine while carrying them back to the TARDIS in an effort to be helpful.

Jack had almost had to carry Ianto away from the area. Neither one of them were seen again until the next morning. Ianto was much calmer, but he'd still refused to speak to Gwen for the next week. Rhys wasn't quite sure how Ianto had done it, but several weeks later he'd managed to concoct a soap solution, tailored to react only to Gwen's DNA, that turned her hair green for a week.

Rhys suspected that the TARDIS had helped in some way. The ship seemed inordinately fond of both Ianto and the Captain. He figured it had something to do with the way Ianto kept cleaning her rooms and polishing her panels. Rhys really didn't want to think about what Jack did for her that engendered her affection.

The deterrent had proven effective; no one had touched Ianto's coffee supplies since - not even Jack. Too vain by half to even risk it, that one was, Rhys snorted to himself. All of which led Rhys to believe that if Ianto had gotten hold of Gwen's book of party games - well, the chances of his wife ever seeing it again was non-existent. Thank, God.

Gwen Cooper Williams was nothing if not persistent, though. Settling on one of the chairs that had been placed in the central area outside the TARDIS, she gazed brightly at her fellow castaways.

Ianto had finished grinding his coffee beans and was carefully transferring the grounds into a container. Jack was lounging in the shade under a palm tree, watching Ianto with an intensity that guaranteed they were about to disappear, not to be found for the rest of the afternoon.

The Doctor could be seen through the door of the TARDIS sitting in front of the console, seemingly in deep conversation with his recalcitrant ship. Amy hadn't been feeling well so she was stretched out on a chaise-lounger in the shade. Rory was bringing her some water and Rhys was cooking her a light chicken (or chicken-like animal) broth.

"Jack," Gwen started ignoring the lack of attention and Ianto's soft huff of annoyance. "What would you be doing if we were home right now?"

The Captain chuckled teasingly. "Haven't we had this conversation once before, Mrs. Williams?" He returned to his previous occupation of watching Ianto. "Hmm...what would I be doing if we were home? Ianto. Pizza. Saving the world a few times - mainly Ianto, though."

Rhys saw that the tips of Ianto's ears were pink, whether from embarrassment or desire he couldn't say.

Gwen turned to her husband. "How about you, Rhys? What would you be doing if we were home?"

Rhys looked down at his watch, which was still set to Cardiff time as he couldn't be arsed to care about the time on this godforsaken planet. "About now I'd probably be sitting down to a lonely dinner and watching Wife Swap."

Ignoring what that said about their life and marriage, Gwen laughed and just said, "Oh, you. Honestly, what is it with you and that show? Amy, how about you?"

Amy opened her eyes and sighed. "If I was home right now, I'd be on my way to visit an OB/GYN to get some pre-natal vitamins and anti-nausea medicine."

"Amy?" Rory's wondering voice broke the sudden silence. "You're sure?"

"Pretty sure, yeah," Amy replied, smiling. "I had a long talk with the TARDIS this morning and she confirmed it. We're having a baby, Rory!"

As the couple embraced, the excited babble of congratulations from the others pulled the Doctor out of the TARDIS to join them. The news prompted him to break out the magnum of champagne he'd picked up on La Nouvelle France during the millennium celebration of Bastille Day.

*********
Once the flurry of excitement over Amy's announcement died down, Rory ushered her off to take a nap. Rhys found himself sitting next to Ianto sipping a rather fine single-malt whiskey that had also come from the Doctor's extensive collection of fine spirits. He sighed expansively, leaning back in his chair and stretching his legs out in front of him.

"We may be seven castaways on a deserted, tropical planet, but having the TARDIS sure makes it a different experience than on Gilligan's Island, eh?" he mused.

Ianto snorted softly into his glass. "We still seem to have all the same characters, though," he replied.

Confused, Rhys frowned at the younger man, his raised eyebrow silently encouraging Ianto to continue.

"Well, look," Ianto said gesturing towards where the Doctor was talking to Jack. The animated Time Lord was gesturing wildly, a coconut shell holding his drink with a little pink umbrella in one hand and the sonic screwdriver in the other. He was saying something about needing a multi-frequency temporal vacuum module and getting an Easter egg in a river.

"If I didn't know he was always like that, I'd think he was drunk," Rhys laughed. "Or crazy. You're right, though, he does give off a professor-ish kind of vibe, doesn't he?"

Both Welshmen dissolved into laughter as the Doctor rushed past them and into the TARDIS, mumbling to himself about rivers and never living this one down.

"So, if he's the professor, I suppose that makes Jack the skipper?" Rhys asked, chuckling.

"Well, he is the captain," Ianto replied, smirking. "So, yes, he'd definitely be the skipper."

Rhys rolled his eyes. "Does that make you Gilligan, then?"

The look on Ianto's face was pure disgust, tinged with humour. He looked around and grinned mischievously.

"No, there's our Gilligan," he snickered. He pointed to where Gwen, having volunteered to clean up, was frowning in dismay at the smoking concoction she'd created when she'd mixed two different cleansing agents together in an attempt to get it done faster.

"I really shouldn't agree with you on this one since she's my wife," Rhys said shaking his head and choking back more laughter. "But the woman is a bloody menace, so I can't disagree. I won't even let her near the washing machine anymore." He shuddered as he remembered all of his white shirts coming out blotchy and pink after one disastrous attempt by Gwen to do laundry.

He turned and considered Ianto. "Who does that make you, then?"

"He's Ginger," Jack's laughing voice startled them both. "Definitely Ginger."

Ianto rolled his eyes in feigned indignation, but Rhys could see the pleased quirk of his lips and the happy smile lurking deep in his eyes. He also saw the fine tremor that shivered its way down the young man's arm following the path of Jack's hand.

Tugging Ianto to his feet, Jack grinned and winked at Rhys before dragging Ianto into the shadows under the trees. Shaking his head again, Rhys realised that was probably the last time the pair would be seen until the next morning.

He took another sip of his whiskey and chuckled to himself over the preceding conversation. "Wait a minute," he exclaimed. "If Gwen is Gilligan, Jack is the skipper, Ianto is Ginger and the Doc is the professor - that means Rory and Amy are the Howell's and... Oh, buggering fuck! I'm Marianne?!?!"

Throwing back the rest of his drink, he was just reaching for Ianto's abandoned glass when a bright light illuminated the area and a dark figure stepped into the clearing. So surprised was he that he didn't even notice the Doctor exiting the TARDIS until the Time Lord rushed past him and skidded to a halt in front of the woman that had just appeared.

Rhys blinked in disbelief when she slapped the Doctor upside the head and then planted a great big kiss smack on his lips. She stepped back with a laugh and looked the Doctor right in the eyes.

"Hello, Sweetie!"


~fin~

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