Title: Ianto/Jack snippet
By: lower-case-me
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Here we have a short, silly one-shot fic in which Jack gets wet and Ianto calls him 'Sir' many times. Nothing too graphic. *sigh*

***

Jack stabbed the communication button on the rover's dashboard, shivering. 'Well, we might be soaking wet, but at least we got the sucker' he said to the others, huddled in their seats. They didn't look like having found the tiny piece of debris was much of a consolation.
'Yes Sir?' Ianto's voice said, through the speaker.
'We're coming in. And it's been a touch nippy out here, so brew us up some coffee. ETA half an hour.'
'Of course, Sir' said Ianto, sounding slightly offended that Jack thought he had to make such an obvious request.

Switching the link off, he turned to Owen in the driver's seat, who was slightly blue and dripping all over the upholstery. Ianto was going to be pissed.
'Why aren't we moving?'
'W-w-windscreen's iced up. Can't see anything.' He nodded at the windscreen and Jack saw that, yes, it had iced over, or more the sleet had built up and solidified.
'And why aren't you out there scraping it off?'
'That's the person in the front passenger seat's job. Always is.' Jack turned to Gwen and Toshiko in the back and was about to ask when he saw the confirmation on their faces.
'Earth customs. You learn something new every day.'

He opened the door and stepped back out into the icy weather, which was hovering between honest rain and bitter hail. Ah, Wales in the wintertime. His gloves were already soaked through, so a little more ice on them didn't make a difference. Jack scraped the glass approximately clear and got back into the war, still interior of the car, which felt lovely and stifling. He sat back and already felt sleepy.
'Let's go already. Coffee's waiting.'

+

Jack was warm. Very warm, in a very pleasant way. It was tempting to stay sleeping, but he could smell coffee, so he turned over and opened his eyes.
'Ianto?'
'Yes, Sir?'
The deadpan response made Jack pause and consider the many questions he could ask next. He settled for the most obvious.
'What are you doing in my bed?'
'Body heat and hot water are universally acknowledged as the best treatments for chills, Sir.'
'Some people would have given me a hot bath' Jack reflected, raising an eyebrow.
'Toshiko is in the bath, and Owen is using the shower downstairs. Rather than let you wait, I thought I'd put you into bed, Sir.'
'Okay, with you so far.' Jack ran through the list of questions and selected the most interesting. 'Why I am not wearing pants?'
'Do you mean pants as in trousers or underpants?'
'Either. In fact, no, let's go with underpants.'
'They were wet, Sir, and I thought it would be a violation of your privacy to go through your underwear drawers.' And I wasn't sure anyone who went rifling about in there would come back with all their fingers, Ianto added mentally.
'What about my modesty?' Jack asked, keeping his serious face.
'You modesty has proved extremely robust in the past, Sir.'
'Has it now?'
'Yes, Sir.'

Jack lifted the duvet and looked down at the neat, elegant, and above all naked- mostly naked- body next to him.
'And yet you seem to be wearing pants. As in underpants' he said reflectively.
'My modesty is slightly more delicate. And I wouldn't want to be in any way suggestive.'
'Ah, no, of course you wouldn't. Next question. Is there coffee?'
'Yes, Sir' said Ianto, looking hurt. 'By the bed. Also hot donuts and rarebit, in the alien micropod.'
'Rarebit?'
'Sort of Welsh cheese-on-toast.'
'Alien micropod?'
'Throughly decontaminated, of course. The heat shielding makes a very effective insulated container.'
'To keep my sort of Welsh cheese-on-toast warm?'
'Yes, Sir. Otherwise the toast goes soggy.'

Slowly, Jack reached over Ianto to find the coffee, sliding skin against skin and taking the time to enjoy the feel of the muscle underneath. Ever the polite one, Ianto lay back down to allow him easier access. Unfortunately, the coffee was right there within easy reach. Jack made up for this by propping himself up on Ianto's chest to drink it.
'Mmmm' said Jack, looking Ianto in the eye. 'That's very good... coffee.'
'Thankyou Sir.' For the first time, Ianto's voice had a slight crack in it. Jack didn't think it was caused by someone leaning on his chest, at least, not in a bad way.
'Y'know, there is an even better way to warm someone up. Not that I'm complaining. But there is one more thing you could have done.' Jack held eye contact, and licked his lips, just a flicker.
'I am always willing to accept criticism. And to, ah, correct my mistakes, Sir.'

Jack ran a lazy hand over Ianto's chest and down to the flat of his belly, just brushing the line of hair that started there. He leaned over again, covering Ianto's body with his own, and whispered
'Then I think you're going to have to stop calling me Sir.'

***