Title: If You Love Him
Author: carrymary
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "For heaven's sake, Jack, this is not about you!" When Ianto is suffering, Martha decides Jack needs a wake-up call.

***

"Jack?"

Jack stood in front of the hothouse window, looking down at his team. No, not at his team. He only saw one person. Just one.

Ianto.

"Jack?" Martha tried again, a bit more insistent this time.

Looking at his back, she heard him sigh. "There you are, Martha," he said in a quiet voice, adding a soft chuckle, "the voice of a nightingale." He didn't take his eyes of Ianto, the office boy turned technician, though involuntarily. "I was wondering how long it would take you to come looking for me."

Martha didn't move, but crossed her arms across her chest, bracing herself for the conversation that was about to follow. "When did you expect me, then?" she asked, trying to keep any emotions out of her voice. But she didn't sound as casually as she'd hoped it would.

"Oh, in an hour or two." Yes, Jack did reply, though his words seemed to come from a place far away from here. He was lost in his own thoughts. "So you're early. Guess I should compliment you."

"You know he loves you, don't you?"

It was out before she'd realized, but nevertheless it was exactly what she'd come to the hothouse for. Jack needed a wake-up call. And from where Martha was standing, it was long overdue.

Jack didn't even bother to turn around, to shrug, to just give a reaction, any reaction. When he didn't respond for a few moments, Martha had to call upon all her self-control to not walk out as fast as she could. At times like this, Jack made her absolutely furious. But it wasn't about her now.

This was about Ianto.

"He clings onto me." And that was that, that was all Jack had to say. Martha couldn't believe her ears.

"He loves you, Jack," she hissed. "It would take a fool not to notice his love for you."

Jack shrugged. About time, Martha thought to herself. And he sighed. "I can't do it, Martha." He paused. "I really can't."

"But why not?" Martha asked, growing more desperate any second. She'd known this was going to be hard, but now, it seemed impossible to get through to Jack.

"I can't watch someone else grow old, can't afford to love someone again like I loved before," Jack whispered, his eyes still resting on Ianto as he strolled over to Gwen's desk to collect her empty cup. By the looks of it, there was another coffee round coming up.

"How would I ever explain that I can't age? That I can't die? That "˜until death do us part' doesn't apply to me?"

"That's nothing Ianto doesn't know already." Martha sighed as she moved to stand beside Jack. She glanced at Ianto. If you'd only know what I am doing now, sweetheart...

"If he thought he couldn't live with that, he wouldn't have stayed with you this long." By now, her voice had become soothing. Still, in anticipation of Jack's response, she held her breath.

The Captain snorted. "Yeah, sure. Martha, there were more people who knew my secret, and who promised me that it wouldn't change a thing. That they would always love me no matter what. Until they grew old, and I didn't. I've even been a father, Martha. How do you think that feels, huh? Seeing your own children turn into elderly people, burying them when they've reached a very respectable age, and not look a single day older yourself? Well, you don't, and trust me, you wouldn't want to know."

Jack's anger surprised her. She'd thought he would shut down, but instead, he did the opposite. If she ever wanted to get something through to Jack, Martha realized, this was the best chance she was ever going to get.

"You shouldn't shut him out, you know," Martha said, trying to reason with him. "He knows you're afraid of all this, and he doesn't blame you for it. You just... well, you know," Martha wasn't sure what to say now. Well, she knew exactly what to say, but she wasn't sure what Jack's reaction would be. "You should talk to him," she eventually said. "Jack, he loves you, trusts you, confines in you, you're the world to him. But you..." She sighed. "He is afraid you don't love him."

"I can't afford to love him," Jack replied in a hoarse whisper, and Martha could swear there were tears rolling down his cheeks, even though she still wasn't looking at his face. Yet, his voice contained a sternness that told her this conversation was over. And where she had contained her anger earlier, this time, she could not care less, and it was all she could do not to scream at him.

"For heaven's sake, Jack, this is not about you!" she hissed at him, and there was so much anger, so much disbelief and sorrow and frustration in her voice, that Jack abruptly turned his head, and for the first time since Martha had entered the hothouse their eyes met, and they remained locked.

Jack, Martha now saw, was furious. And she wasn't feeling any better. He opened his mouth to protest, to take over his position as Captain again, but Martha was having none of it, and cut him off.

"No, Jack, you are going to shut up until I'm finished. Don't even dare," Martha warned him, "I'm doing the talking now. Live with it.

"The only time Ianto ever shows any sign of his own feelings, is when I ask about you Jack. About you and him. That is the only thing that makes him drop that stoic mask he wears. I talk about you, and instantly, Ianto is shy boy, blushing, and so clearly in love with you. His eyes shine, and he is genuinely happy, and that's the only time I ever see him like that. It's as if you take all misery out of his life."

Martha fully realized she was rattling and tripping over her own words, but she didn't care. It hurt her so much to see someone that was so dear to her suffer like this every day, she just had to get through to Jack, get inside that thick skull of his.

"And you have no idea how happy it makes me to see him like that," she continued, passion taking over her monologue. "He adores you, even though you don't show him the same affection. He deserves so much more, and yet, he wants to settle down with you. And damn it, Jack, your behavior is driving him insane! He doesn't know what he's up against; he doesn't know where he stands. For all he knows, tomorrow, you'll kick him out of your bed."

"You know I won't do that," Jack shouted at her, with despair in his eyes. "You know I..."

"Yes Jack, I know that," Martha told him, her voice almost a plead. "But he doesn't. Jack, he's so afraid of losing you, just because you won't open up to him. If he's just a fuck, then that's fine, but at least let him know Jack, please."

Jack was outrageous. "He is so much more than that, Martha, and you know it. How dare you even call him that!" Tears ran down his face, and Martha could feel her heart break into tiny little pieces. Of course she knew, and it had taken all her courage to even suggest otherwise. But if this was going to help Ianto, to make Jack realize what he was risking to lose for good, then so be it.

"Alright, Martha," Jack continued, his voice still raised. "Yes. Yes, I love him! I bloody love Ianto Jones, and I'm more than happy to admit it to you. But he cannot find out. Ever." Turning back to the window again, he grew quiet. "Martha, if you care about him, and I can clearly see that you do, then you make sure this conversation never leaves this room," he added in his own, cool voice. Martha wasn't quite sure, but it sounded an awful lot like an order.

Fine.

She took a deep breath. Time for one last attempt. After that, next time Ianto talked to her about their relationship, she wouldn't be afraid to advise him to end it. Her own thought shocked her, but Martha knew she was right. Ianto had suffered enough as it was already, and an egoistic, selfish Jack wasn't helping. Oh, no doubt he'd suffer from a break up as well, and he'd probably break her heart as well, but from where she was standing, it was the only way to prevent worse from happening.

"Just know this, Jack," she said, her voice quiet but thick with sadness and anger. "Ianto Jones is loving, brave, loyal, clever man. He's anything anyone would ever wish for, and so much more. And he's in love with you. He'd do anything for you, if it would make you happy, or proud, or more so, love him. He doesn't want dates and romance and forever together and all that if it's not what you want. He only wants to be perfect for you."

She looked next to her to find Jack crying silently, and gently reached out to him to cup his chin and force him to face him.

"I know eternity is a long time, Jack," she whispered, forgetting her anger, "and eventually, it's only memories that last, even if it's just the very good ones." She paused to wipe a tear from Jack's face with her thumb. "It's just a few years of eternity, but at least give him the chance to make those years so good you'll remember them forever."

Even before she'd finished speaking, Jack threw himself at her, his arms around her, pulling her as close as he could. He held onto her as if she was the only thing left in his world. And he cried, and Martha, just for a moment, felt a glimpse of the horrible life Jack had yet to encounter. All those five billion years...

Yes, she knew it would end, one day, but as much as she wanted to, Martha couldn't comfort him with the thought that eternity wasn't quite as long as he thought it'd be. Her past, his future.

Spoilers.

They stood like there for what seemed minutes, forgetting everything around them, everything but Ianto. When Jack pulled back, still sobbing quietly, the hub was empty. Gwen had gone home, and Ianto too was nowhere to be seen. Martha found herself hoping he was busying himself in the archives or the tourist office.

"Martha." Jack's voice was raw when he finally spoke. "What...?"

She silenced him by putting a finger on his lips. "You know what to do," was all she said, all that was left to say, when she gave him an intense look.

At that exact moment, Ianto reappeared in the hub with a rubbish bag, clearly trying to create order in the chaos that was Cardiff's most secret organization.

Jack saw him, too. For a moment, he just looked down at him, his eyes following Ianto, who had done a very good job at pretending not to be noticing them, although, Martha assumed, he must have been fully aware of the topic they'd been discussing. She found herself chuckling, Typically Ianto.

Before she knew it, Jack had let go of her, and she heard the sound of his boots nearly flying down the stairs. She couldn't take her eyes of Ianto, especially not when Jack flung his arms around him, and pulled him in for what had to be the most romantic kiss Martha had ever seen.

Their kiss was long and passionate, and it seemed as if the world, no, the Universe had stopped moving, just for them. After what seemed like hours, they pulled apart, and Martha saw Jack whispering something close to Ianto's ear. In response, tears started to flow down his cheeks.

Martha's heart stopped beating, until she realized Ianto, in fact, was smiling, and his tears were tears of joy. This time, it were his lips that found Jack's, and whatever it was that had happened between them moments ago still wasn't gone.

Jack's let his hand slip into Ianto's, and breaking the kiss, he softly pulled Ianto's arm, leading him out of the hub. Ianto followed solemnly, not taking his eyes of his lover's.

It was only when the cog wheel closed behind them that Martha noticed her cheeks, too, were wet from crying. She let out a sigh out relief, and felt better than she had in a long time. What had just happened was probably all that Ianto could have wished for, and, though he'd never admit it, it was Jack's desire as well. For a minute, she just stood still in the hothouse, looking at the cog wheel. Then, first smiling, then laughing, she shook her head and walked out of the room.

"I guess I'll lock up then," she said to no one in particular, still laughing, and happy to know that tomorrow, when they'd start a new day at work, protecting Cardiff and the Earth from alien invasions, the world would be a slightly better place, because of the miracle that was Jack and Ianto.

***