Title: Need
By: lilithangel
Pairings: Ianto/Owen
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: m/m sex and violence.
Summary: They all have coping mechanisms for Jack’s disappearance. Not good ones but when your world is gone you just make do.

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It wasn’t nice what they had, what they were doing. It was harsh and hot and the only thing keeping them sane in the wake of Jack’s disappearance.

They both hated what they had done to Jack, and even if the Captain had forgiven them they hadn’t forgiven themselves. They both hated Jack for abandoning them so easily and they both hated each other for meaning something to Jack.

They had quickly spiralled down in a mass of self loathing. Trying to keep things together, trying not to take it out on the girls who were handling things worse than they were.

They turned on each other instead, comfortable in the hate they shared. Sarcasm during the day turned to fists at night when the girls had gone home.

Both slept in the Hub now. Ianto in Jack’s quarters and Owen in a spare cell next to the Weevils. Nothing was ever said about their accommodation choices beyond Owen admitting he would tear Jack’s room to bits to teach the bastard a lesson if he thought it would make a difference.

The Rift was still discharging all manner of weird and wonderful so most days they barely had time to breathe let alone talk. No matter how many times Gwen tried, both men would simply claim they were fine then totally disprove it when they were alone.

The night it turned from fists to lips surprised them both and probably shouldn’t have. Owen was used to aggression turning to sex, he practically expected it. Ianto just needed something, anything to block out the screaming in his head. Jack had been the only one to voluntarily touch him since the situation with Lisa and that was the only time the screaming stopped.

Neither could even say who made the first move. They had been in each others face saying soft hateful things (they had gone past yelling weeks ago) and both knew how short the others rope was and exactly what to say to get to the end of it. This time however they were rolling around on the ground tearing each other’s clothes off while lips and teeth clashed as violently as they did with words and fists.

They didn’t make it past crashing into a door still partially clothed before hands wrapped around trapped erections. They brought each other off with strokes just on the edge of painful, biting into bared shoulders to avoid eye contact.

Afterwards they dressed as best they could and left without talking.

The next time Ianto followed Owen into the autopsy room after another argument and slammed him against the wall. He ground his palm into Owen’s groin confirming that Owen was a hard as he was from their earlier argument.

Owen copied his actions and they managed to tug and pull pants down low enough to reach flesh. Owen was always cold these days and he tried not to cling to Ianto’s feverish warmth beyond what was necessary to keep his footing.

The first touch of Owen’s hand was so cold Ianto nearly lost his erection, but the grip was sure and knew exactly where to squeeze and where to caress. He couldn’t stop his body thrusting into it as he mimicked the movements.

This time their eyes never left each other. Neither was certain what they were looking for, but all they could see was grief and anger so that was what they gave back.

It was as fast and brutal as the first time with neither prepared to show any sign of pleasure beyond gasps that could just as easily have been pain.

Afterwards Ianto pulled out a handkerchief and cleaned his hand off before tossing it to Owen. Owen wiped his own hand and dropped the cloth into the hazardous waste bin.

Ianto choked back a laugh at the action and left. Owen ignored him and tidied up the tray that had been knocked over during the event.

They still barely talked in the office, but worked seamlessly as a team in the field. Neither Gwen nor Tosh commented after getting cold glares from both men.

The following week Owen pulled the SUV over as they were returning from a futile sighting of Jack in Splott. He told Tosh they were going to the pub and pulled off their headsets before dragging Ianto into the backseat.

Pulling down Ianto’s trousers, Owen told him to shut up and wrapped slightly trembling lips around his rapidly hardening cock. Ianto didn’t question the splashes of heat on his legs as Owen sucked and licked at his shaft anymore than he noticed the tracks down his own face.

Owen knew exactly how to drive Ianto mad with need and he briefly wondered who would get fucked first before Owen sucked all the tension right out of his body.

Owen made to climb back into the front seat, but Ianto grabbed his arm and pulled him back. It only took a few strokes to bring Owen to completion and a few licks to bring him back to hardness as he watched Ianto’s tongue swipe away his release.

After that something would happen between them almost every night that Owen was sober enough and Ianto wasn’t obsessively cleaning the coffee machine.

The first time Ianto knelt in front of Owen was in the Tourist Office with the open sign still showing. Owen held onto the counter with blue-white knuckles his eyes flickering between the sight of Ianto kneeling there and the door that could open at any time.

When a finger breached him at the same time as Ianto swallowed him to the hilt he knew he would spread his legs and let Ianto fuck him anytime the other man wanted.

A second finger and a thumb pressed hard behind his balls was all it took for him to nearly choke Ianto with his release.

Ianto walked away without Owen touching him.

Later that night Owen climbed down the ladder into Jack’s quarters, pinned Ianto to the bed, and impaled himself on Ianto’s cock. He kept Ianto’s hands pressed into the mattress and rode them both to completion in silence. Afterwards he climbed off and left Ianto with a cum-streaked chest without a single word being exchanged.

Ianto never let Owen top him and Owen never cared enough to demand it. Few of their encounters made it to a bed of any sort unless you counted the morgue table and they didn’t.

It didn’t change anything between them beyond an easier field working arrangement. Owen went out for drinks with Tosh for company and if Ianto had an outside life he wasn’t talking about it. Gwen ran things and they let her. Bruises and limps were put down to Weevil attacks and ignored so long as they didn’t interfere with work.

The desperation faded slightly, but the anger and hurt were fed by the still softly uttered scorn they heaped on each other prior to marking flesh with teeth and nails.

There was no acknowledgement of the risk they were taking or where it was all going to end up. Both knew it was just another symptom of the disease called Jack.

END

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