Title: Rumored Nights
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1, 50scenes
Prompt: 41, Embrace
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

***

It felt strange to be back in Cardiff, the Doctor thought, looking around Ianto's flat from where he sat on the couch. He was so used to roaming the universe that staying in one place for more than a few days made him feel odd, stagnant, as though he wasn't doing enough. It wasn't a feeling that he particularly enjoyed having.

But he couldn't keep Ianto away from his home forever, he reasoned with himself. Even though Jack had assured them both that Ianto could take time away from Torchwood, he still felt more than a bit guilty at keeping his young lover away from the life he'd built here.

He was part of that life, the Doctor's inner voice remonstrated with him. He was just as much a part of Ianto's existence here in Cardiff as he was when they were in the Tardis, out there amongst the stars. It wasn't as though his importance to Ianto changed, no matter where they happened to be. Surroundings didn't change emotions.

Still, he couldn't help worrying that Ianto had too many things to pull him in different directions when they were here. It wasn't that he resented Torchwood for taking up so much of Ianto's time, he said to himself, rubbing one hand across his jaw in thought. Or that Ianto's attention wasn't focused solely on him.

He certainly didn't expect that, the Doctor thought, sighing and leaning his head back to stare up at the ceiling. No one could focus all of their time and attention on one person; of course, they could try, but humans had a notoriously short attention span. There were always those exceptions to the rule .... The Doctor laughed at himself, shaking his head. Speaking of short attention spans, his own tended to wander off into the stratosphere a little too much for his liking as of late.

No, he didn't expect Ianto to narrow his focus down to him and only him, but it was still nice to have his lover all to himself. Here, he had to share Ianto with so many other things: his family, his friends, Torchwood .... and Jack. There. That was his main worry, wasn't it? All of the time that Ianto had to spend with Jack.

It shouldn't bother him that Jack was Ianto's former lover. Both of them had told him that their relationship had been over for a while when he'd come into Ianto's life, and he knew that neither of the two men would lie to him. And his own relationship with Jack had been over when he'd regenerated into this body.

So why did he worry when Ianto spent these late nights at Torchwood? There was no reason for him to feel that Ianto and Jack would resume their relationship in any way. Of course Jack was still going to be close to Ianto; they were friends and teammates, and there was obviously still a layer of caring attached to that friendship that gave it something deeper. He didn't begrudge them those feelings, of course he didn't.

The Doctor sighed again, sinking down into the comfortable cushions of the couch and glancing over at the clock. It was nearly midnight; why wasn't Ianto home yet? Was he with Jack, going over something in the office? Or was he with Jack in a more .... intimate way? Had he decided that the Doctor wasn't enough for him, or worse, that he'd made a mistake after all? Could he possibly have returned to his former lover?

He hated feeling like this; these emotions weren't something that he was used to. He'd cared about people before; he'd had more than a few lovers in his long life. But none of them had bonded with him in the way that Ianto had. None of them were his soul mate, the one he felt that he'd been destined to be with since the moment of his birth all those centuries ago.

Emotions had always been something that he tried to control, to keep under cover as much as he could. When he'd let them out, he'd managed to quickly cover them, hide them away behind a guise of nonchalance. But with Ianto, that ability to dissimulate and hide what he was feeling had disappeared. He was as transparent as a plate-glass window with this man.

It was a frightening feeling, to know that Ianto had the ability to see through him like that. He'd always been afraid of letting his emotions show, worried that they would be used against him, and that whatever hurt he was feeling would only be made worse by acknowledging it. It was different with Ianto. He'd learned to open himself more, to embrace his emotions.

Of course, he wasn't at the point where he could do that easily, or unconsciously. It would take quite a while before he'd be completely comfortable with opening himself up to the possibility of letting his emotions take over. But he was getting there.

And a human had brought out this propensity in him. A human. He'd always liked humans, much more so than any other Time Lord -- or any other Gallifreyan, for that matter. It had always bothered him that his race was so incredibly xenophobic; he'd spent his life seeing humans as fascinating creatures, with all their faults and weaknesses. And, of course, he was half-human himself -- which meant that some of those weaknesses were ingrained in him.

His head jerked towards the door when he heard the key scraping in the lock, his eyes going to the clock again. It was now half-past midnight -- had he really been sitting here thinking for over half an hour? Usually, time didn't seem so ephemeral to him -- but now that he was involved with a human, he noticed it more than he ever had in the past.

Ianto entered the flat, shrugging out of his coat and carefully hanging it up on the coat rack by the door. He headed into the living room, stopping when he saw the Doctor huddled on one side of the couch before a slow smile spread across his features. "Hello, love. Have you been waiting up for me? You didn't have to do that, you know."

The Doctor bit back the questions that rose to his lips at Ianto's words; it wouldn't do any good to fire off accusations about where his lover had been and who he'd been with. But he couldn't keep his consternation from showing on his face; Ianto's smile disappeared as he sat down, turning towards the Doctor and taking the Time Lord's hands in his own.

"What is it, love?" His voice was soft, his expression concerned. "What's wrong?"

"Where were you?" The Doctor hated himself for the way his voice sounded; it was like nothing so much as a jealous woman, a harping fishwife right out of one of those soap operas that seemed to be so popular with human women. "Were you with Jack?" His voice had risen on the last few words, to make them sound more like an accusation than a question.

Ianto shook his head, frowning. "No, I was with the whole team. There was a bit of a problem with someone seeing too much of Torchwood, and they had to be retconned. All of us had to be present, as we don't do something like that unless the entire team agrees. I wanted to leave, but I couldn't do it until Jack had done the retcon and taken the person safely back to where they belonged."

"You were all there?" He still sounded like a jealous child, the Doctor realized, forcing himself to stop speaking and nodding instead, acknowledging Ianto's explanation. He wasn't going to say anything else, he told himself firmly, biting down on his tongue and studiously avoiding Ianto's worried gaze.

"Doctor, what is this all about?" His lover sounded concerned, leaning back against the couch and turning towards him. "You know that there's nothing between Jack and myself any more. I've made a commitment to you, and that's something I take very seriously. I'm not going to run around behind your back with someone from my past."

The Doctor didn't answer, picking at an imaginary fluff on the couch arm. Ianto sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before leaning towards the Doctor and taking the slender man into his arms. The Doctor didn't move, didn't sink into the embrace as he usually would. He was still too tense, too suspicious of what had kept Ianto out this late, too unsettled in his own mind to fully accept what Ianto had told him.

"Don't think like that," Ianto said softly, leaning back and keeping his arms loosely around the Doctor's slender waist. "Those thoughts aren't worthy of you, and they aren't worthy of Jack. And --" He tilted the Doctor's face up to his own, forcing the Time Lord to meet his eyes -- ".... they aren't worthy of what we have between us. You should know that."

"I ...." The Doctor couldn't deny what had been going through his mind. How had Ianto known? he wondered, frowning at the idea that Ianto could somehow see into his thoughts. That was more than a bit disturbing; he was already too transparent when it came to this man.

"You don't think that I would ever throw away what we have, do you?" Ianto asked softly, his dark eyes meeting the Doctor's, not flinching away. There was nothing written in their depths but love and honesty, and the Doctor couldn't help feeling ashamed of himself for what he had been thinking earlier.

Was he completely out of his mind? Of course Ianto wasn't going to forsake him. Of all the people he'd ever met, all the different races he'd ever known, human and otherwise, Ianto was the one being who had always been nothing but truthful with him. He was as transparent as a still pool of water -- but Ianto was the same with him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his throat constricting around those two simple words. Why was it so hard for him to admit that he'd been wrong? He had to learn to let go of that damned pride. It would only pull him away from the man he loved if he didn't learn to control it, he told himself, closing his eyes and leaning into Ianto's embrace.

Those strong arms tightened around him, Ianto's soft lips brushing against his forehead. "Let's go to bed, love," he murmured into the Doctor's ear, those words -- and the tone they were uttered in -- sending a shiver up the Time Lord's spine. "There's nothing for you to be sorry for. Whatever you were thinking, it doesn't matter. Just have a little faith in us. In me. Hold on to that faith; I can guarantee you that it won't be misplaced."

"I will," the Doctor whispered, moving over slightly so that Ianto could get up from the couch. He took his lover's proffered hand, letting Ianto pull him to his feet and into another warm embrace, their lips meeting and clinging. The kiss lasted what seemed like a very long time to the Doctor, so long that he was almost gasping when they finally came up for air.

"I don't think that I could doubt you after that," he murmured, leaning against Ianto and letting the feeling of his lover's arms around him soothe and relax him. How could he have thought those things about this man? From now on, he was going to put anything of that sort out of his head. Ianto was right. Those thoughts weren't worthy of what they had.

"That's good to know," Ianto breathed, his gaze meeting the Doctor's, unspoken promises there that made the Time Lord's breath catch in his throat. "I think I might have to work very hard at making sure there are no more doubts, hmmm?" Without another word, he twined his fingers through the Doctor's, leading the way to their bedroom.

If nothing else, the Doctor reflected as he followed Ianto down the hallway, those hours of insecurity had given him a new conviction in what he felt for Ianto, and in their relationship in general. Maybe these emotions weren't going to be so hard to get used to, after all.

***