Title: Springs have sprung......Wait, what?
By: Tiffany F
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13
Note: For badly_knitted.
Summary: Prompt "I wanted spring, not springs". There's something odd springing up in the Hub, and no one seems to be able to figure out exactly why, or what it means.

***

Ianto Jones was working in the back part of the main Hub when he heard a ding, followed by the sound of running water. Given where he was, and the location of the Hub to the Quay, he didn’t think much of the water, but the ding confused him. They didn’t have any clocks in the main section of the Hub, not since the last experiment Tosh wanted to run to attempt to meld an alien clock to The Rift in an attempt to time when the alerts were going to sound. The oven was off, and Ianto never used the timer when he used the oven, because he didn’t trust Owen enough to leave the kitchen while he was baking. The doorbell they tried as a warning whenever someone walked into the tourist shop above them was a short-lived experiment after Jack shot it the first time it rang. It had taken some convincing on Ianto’s part that he hadn’t intentionally found the loudest bell possible just to scare everyone. That he had was beside the point.

While he was thinking about what could possibly be going ding in his Hub, there was another ding followed by the sound of running water. While it was soothing, Ianto didn’t feel like anything should be going ding within his Hub without him knowing about it.

He heard Jack’s office open and started in that direction, anticipating what was going to happen next.

“Ianto!”

“Yes, Sir?” Ianto asked from behind Jack.

Jack jumped and looked around. “Why do you always have to sneak up on me?” he asked.

“It’s hardly sneaking when I’m just following proper butler training and ethics,” Ianto replied with a small smile. “What did you need, Sir?”

“What do you know about this?” Jack asked, pointing towards the coffee machine and small kitchen.

Ianto followed the line of Jack’s finger and found a small pond lined with stones and a small waterfall in the middle of the walkway. “I believe that’s a spring, Sir,” Ianto said. “Though what it is doing in my Hub, I cannot say.”

“Ianto, springs do not just appear out of nowhere,” Jack said.

“They have to spring from somewhere, Sir,” Ianto said, keeping a straight face. “Though for a spring to have sprung in the middle of the walkway makes me think The Rift is acting up again.”

“How do you think The Rift is responsible for this?” Jack asked.

There was another ding and more running water could be heard. Ianto sighed, “I’m not certain, Sir, but if we cannot figure it out, then we shall soon be over run with springs, and I do not care to get these shoes wet.”

Jack opened his mouth to reply, thought better of it, and just sighed. “For just one day, Ianto, I would like my life to make sense. Do you think that’s too much to ask?”

A chocolate cake fell out of nowhere and landed on Jack’s head. “I believe so, Sir,” Ianto replied, watching a fountain of milk follow and wash the cake out of Jack’s hair. “Should I get a mop and bucket?”

“Please,” Jack said, giving up.

*~*~*

“Okay, so we have five springs around the Hub, all of them appeared after a mysterious bell noise,” Jack said, once he was cleaned up and had assembled the team in the conference room. He would have used his office, but the fifth spring sprung into being in the middle of it, and his bunk was flooded. “Random foods and drinks are also appearing out of nowhere, and there isn’t an explanation for this.”

“The apples are good,” Owen commented, between bites.

“I believe those were to get you to leave,” Ianto said, not looking up from his notepad.

“What?” Owen asked.

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away,” Tosh replied. “Don’t look at me like that, Owen. It’s an old expression. The apples did appear when you tried to get a closer look at the spring in the kitchen.”

Jack sighed. “I want answers, people. I can handle oddness, I can handle aliens attempting to drink brains through straws. I can even handle Ianto’s honey cakes….”

“Excuse me, Sir?” Ianto asked, looking up.

“Nothing,” Jack replied quickly. “The point of this all is, I feel like this is some sort of cosmic joke and we’re going to suffer until we can figure out who is pranking us and why.”

“What if they aren’t pranks, Sir?”

“What do you mean, Ianto?”

Ianto turned the page over on his notepad. “It’s March 21st, Sir. The Spring Equinox,” he said. “We had to stop that witch last week. It is possible she was able to place a spell to create the springs when there was enough natural power in the world to bring them to creation.”

“Are you saying that we’re cursed?” Owen asked.

“Must you talk with your mouth full?” Ianto sighed, passing over some napkins. “Yes, Owen, that is exactly what I am saying.” He paused when he heard another ding. “I expect that we are going to be drowned before too much longer unless we are able to counter whatever spell has been placed upon us.”

“The witch was never in the Hub, so how would she have placed the curse on us?” Jack asked. He groaned when a large fish landed on his head and slapped him in the face with its tail. “Okay, new question. How do we end the curse?”

“We find a witch,” Tosh said. She stood up and picked up the gasping fish. “I’m going to go put this in one of the springs so it doesn’t die.”

“Ianto, can you please find us a witch willing to help us out before this gets any stranger?” Jack asked.

“Stranger than the gravy?” Ianto asked in reply.

Jack didn’t even question it. He pushed back and watched the gravy, still in a gravy boat, fall where he had been sitting. He would have been very smug about missing the gravy if it wasn’t for the mashed potatoes that landed on his head. “Just do it, Ianto,” he said.

“Yes, Sir,” Ianto replied. He picked up the gravy boat and left the conference room.

*~*~*

Ianto wasn’t surprised to find the Hub empty when he returned with Madame Draciana, a woman with white hair, silver eyes, and wearing pure white robes. While she was a good friend of Jack’s, it showed how upset Jack was that he didn’t think of contacting either Madame Draciana, or her twin brother.

“You were right, Ianto,” Draciana said, looking around the Hub. “There is a curse here, though not one I have seen before. Why did you have to stop a witch?”

“I’m still not certain she was a real witch, in the strictest sense of the word, but she was using alien beads to make curse items and selling them to humans that felt wronged,” Ianto said, trying to ignore the ding in the distance. “We traced the alien beads back to her and she was not happy when we arrived at her shop.”

“Where is she now?” Draciana asked.

“She, somehow, built her shop where part of The Rift runs through Cardiff. We have the building sealed up until we can figure out exactly how she was using it, but she jumped into The Rift before Jack could stop her,” Ianto replied. “But she was muttering under her breath and speaking in a language none of us recognized.”

Draciana nodded, looking around the Hub again. “The curse was to recreate a historic flood, but because of the time she set it to match, all you received was a curse of springs,” she said. “Which, honestly, do give a relaxing background effect, but ten is a bit much for one room.”

“I would prefer none, given how often I’m run off my feet keeping this place organized,” Ianto said. “Though if we absolutely have to keep one, the one in the lounge area near the kitchen will suit. It already has a fish in it.”

“I can tie the curse to the single spring and get rid of the others without too much problem, but the random food appearing out of nowhere is a bit of a mystery, even to me,” Draciana said. She pulled out a long white wand and started to wave it in a circular pattern split by a line on every third pass. “I’m going to attempt to counter the extra energy being generated by the spell, the date, and even the moon and hope that will stop the food. This is a time of rebirth and holds a lot of power for the right types of magic. I should have liked to have had a chance to hear exactly what this witch was muttering before she vanished.”

“She wasn’t speaking in Latin, Welsh, Gaelic, Spanish, or German,” Ianto said. “It also wasn’t English or an alien language, at least not one that Jack was able to recognize.”

“Knowing Jack, he said something to stir things up before the witch vanished,” Draciana said, glancing over at Ianto with a small smile.

Ianto grinned and side-stepped three pineapples. “Of course he did. He wouldn’t be Jack if he didn’t,” he said. “I’m just hopeful you can stop the food appearing like it is. While it is good awareness training, I do hate to see food wasted like this.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Draciana said.

*~*~*

Ianto was in the kitchen getting ready to start the coffee for the day when Jack came in the door. “Did you get it stopped?” he asked, looking around.

“Madame Draciana was in the area and offered her aid,” Ianto replied. “She was most put out when she realized you were not here, Sir.”

“Aw, hell, I didn’t even think about Dracie,” Jack said. “Was she able to figure out what was going on though?”

“After a couple of hours, yes,” Ianto said. He handed Jack a mug of coffee from an earlier pot. “The food puzzled her, but she was able to place a redirect spell on the Hub and the food will be sent to the homeless shelter kitchen to be used rather than wasted here.”

Jack sighed. “So no more random springs or food appearing out of nowhere?” he asked.

“We had to leave one as an anchor, Sir, and the fish seems quite happy,” Ianto said, pointing to the spring across from the old sofa. “Madame Draciana was able to combine all the springs around the Hub plus the magic into that one so we don’t have to worry about random springs springing up on us.”

“Spring has sprung for good then?” Jack said.

“At least until next year, yes Sir,” Ianto said. He glanced up from his coffee preparations. “Though next year, I could do with only the one natural spring and not random springs making a mess of my Hub. Could you please keep from angering any witches, Sir?”

“I’ll do my best, Ianto,” Jack said, trying not to grin.

Ianto just shook his head. He didn’t believe it for a single second.

***