Previous part of Heart and Soul.

***

Affairs of the Heart - Chatper 18

Note:Time Team: TV4 UK with Tony Robinson and a team of archeologist perform a dig over three days. Involves mostly digging trenches of some form or other to see where walls or buildings were

-@-

Making his way through the University medical center Ianto looked down at the note paper he held in his hand. 'Room 3C,' he checked. He now looked up at the door, 3C; finally he had found the right one. He looked down at his watch; he had made it with only seconds to spare. He quietend his breathing, his part of the student facility was like a rabbit warren; he had never actually been here in all his time at the University and had gotten lost. He straighten his tie and knocked at the door, he heard a muffled "Come In" and entered.

He found himself in a small doctor's surgery complete with wall posters, desk, bed and all the normal paraphernalia one would find in such a place.

"Doctor Owen Harper," a wiry man wearing a white coat said holding out his hand in greeting.

Taking the offered hand Ianto shook it in return. When Jack had told him he needed a physical to complete his employment record he had not known quite what to expect. The white coat he expected but the small badges and relaxed figure before him did not fill his expectations of how a doctor might appear.

"Ianto Jones," Ianto replied hesitantly, ", Jack, I mean Captain Harkness said I had an appointment."

"Yes, you've come to the right place." Owen said as he tried to keep his face as neutral as possible as he searched for any sign that Ianto knew him. Tosh had warned him that Ianto wouldn't, but it was still a shock. He had always had the secret belief that he would be the one person that he might recognize no matter how irrational that might be.

"This is just a formality." Owen began to explain.

"Jack, sorry Captain Harkness told me I need physical to complete my employment records," Ianto added.

"Yes all staff even those seconded get a thorough going over," Owen advised as indicated a chair he had set up next to desk. "Tell me Mr. Jones, can I call you Ianto?" he picked up a blood pressure cuff and began to work.

"Tell me about yourself Ianto," he queried.

Waiting in an ante room, Jack watched as he saw Ianto leave the medical room. As Ianto disappeared down the corridor he headed to the room. Moving with speed he entered the doctor's surgery without ceremony.

"Well?" he demanded of Owen.

"Sit down. " Owen told him as he pointed at the chair in front of the desk. "I'm just completing the second lot of blood work. I did a much more basic run through while Ianto was here, this one's for really serious shit. "

As he spoke he put a small vial of blood into a small machine on his desk. It was one of the many he had brought from the hub for this examination. Its look was deceiving because despite its compact size it was alien medical device that could perform complex blood analysis normally required by a full medical laboratory to accomplish.

Jack sat down trying to contain the anxiety he felt as the machine beeped. As it did Owen pressed a series of buttons and the small screen on the front began to fill with symbols. Jack watched as Owen took his time to interpret the symbols and made some notes on the pad in front of him. After several moments he looked up.

"Do you want the good news or the bad news," Owen started to say but stopped as saw the look on Jack's face. "It's all good Jack," He added quickly.

Jack threw him a filthy look that told Owen Jack was in no mood for the kind of banter he would normally accept from the Torchwood doctor. Owen immediately modified his manner slipping into the role of consummate professional he was.

With a final soft ding, he removed the long strip of paper form the machine as it completed is analysis. Taking the strip he sat down and began to write notes on his lap top on the desk.

"Well?" Jack repeated his demand.

"Ok," Owen said as he looked up at Jack. "He's 10 kilos underweight, anemic, has an elevated heart rate, and his blood pressure is slightly higher than it should be but still within a normal range." He saw the look of concern of on Jack's face. " I have advised him he needs some good meals, knock off the vast amounts of coffee and energy drinks he has to keep himself going during the day, and get a bloody good night's sleep."

He saw Jack draw a breath as he took in Owen's words as he felt a slight sense of relief that so far nothing truly abnormal had been uncovered.

"My biggest concern right now is he is underweight," Owen advised.

"But I've been buying us in lunch, I see him eat every day," Jack explained thinking back to his decision after seeing the lack of food at Ianto's flat earlier in the year.

"Trouble is from what I can gather is that is all he eats, that and the odd meal he has with you," Owen said.

"Did he say why he's not eating properly?" Jack asked after a few moments as he tried to calculate how much he had seen Ianto eat and when.

"Says he has difficulty swallowing and the sight and smell of food makes him feel sick." Owen added.

"When I take him out for a meal, he eats and eats well," Jack explained.

"Yeah, he had no real explanation except that he did admit after some hesitation that it's only when he is on his own he feels like this." Owen advised looking at Jack curiously. "I've given him a combined iron injection along with a Vitamin B complex so in the short term he will feel a lot better and may improve his low appetite in the short term. I've also given him a prescription for some high dose iron and B vitamin complex medication to correct the deficiency. But long term what he really needs to do is start eating good regular meals."

"Has this anything to do with what's been happening to him at the Henge?" Jack asked the one burning question that he had called Owen up to check.

"I'll get to that," Owen advised as he continued.

"One of the things he mentioned was that he is not sleeping well has he mentioned anything to you?" Owen asked,

Jack shook his head. "He did say he had had a rough night recently but that was the first time he has indicated anything was amiss, did he say anything to you?" Jack asked

"He admitted that the last time he slept well was just after the accident when you were staying over at his place," Owen added as he let out a breath. "Look, if Ianto walked off the street with these symptoms and as I have ruled out any organic cause," he indicated to the strip of paper from the machine. "I would say he has all the symptoms of someone suffering a high level of stress," he said as Jack sat forward rubbed his hands over his face.

"Can you think of any obvious reason Ianto would be under such stress?" Owen asked.

Jack shook his head. "Not that I know of. As you know Ianto is not much of talker, he keeps a lot to himself, always did" he admitted. "I've made sure everything we do comes from him, I include him in every decision, we work together well, and we have fun. I have made sure that this is a work place Ianto would feel the most comfortable in, he lacks for no resource." Jack added with some pride.

"We've been here before Jack. We all know Ianto is a master at wearing a mask. Its, yes sir, no sir, I'm fine sir, then he takes a bloody massive dose of Retcon and disappears," Owen said as he saw Jack shift uncomfortably in his chair.

"Which brings me to the next topic?" Owen said. "Something has happened which I cannot fully explain. "

"Well, that's why you're here Owen," Jack said stating the obvious.

"I'll get the issue with the Henge in a minute," Owen advised patiently.

"Owen please I need to know..." Jack said in frustration

"What I need to talk to you about the Retcon Ianto took." Owen interrupted.

"When you left the Hub that night you told me to keep working on a way to overcome the effects of the dose of Retcon he took. Part of that investigation led me into the history of Retcon and I need to tell you Jack it scared the living hell out of me." He took a deep breath and continued. "The Retcon we use is a safe compound. However its development has a long and troubled history, I won't go into all the gory details. But we can add Retcon to the long list of compounds and drugs that have been used in ways that do not show civilized beings in the best light to put it mildly. What Ianto took was one of the early experimental versions. That version included several compounds now modified and even banned on some worlds."

He took a deep breath and braced himself as he knew what he had to say next would be devastating. "After the first 24 hours Ianto brain reconfigured permanently."

He saw the look of despair on Jack's face as he continued. 'The Retcon destroyed a significant part of his memory completely and utterly. On top of this there was other damage just as fundamental to his cognitive processes. I would like to believe that he didn't understand the risk, but from what I have found, he knew and he still did it, God what a mess."

"How, how can you be so certain" Jack asked his voice shaking with distress.

Owen turned his lap top around to show Jack what looked like a stylized image of a human brain in several sections in various colours. "One of the tools I brought up with me was a brain bio- scanner" He pointed to the device on a stand at the foot end of the bed. "Before I came up, I asked Tosh to configure it so it would search for those areas in the brain we now know the compounds in the dose of Retcon he took most affect." He tapped the finger pad on the computer and a fine web of red traces began to appear some areas larger than others and it was extensive. " This is all damage." He pulled back to allow Jack to move in close to study the image.

"So in light of this, seeing the evidence, what I want to know is how, how is Ianto able to manage a coherent thought or string two words together?" Owen stated.

"But he, does, he can," Jack stuttered

"Exactly," Owen advised.

"And he has memory, Déjà vu. When we started working together Ianto told me he had a sense of Déjà vu. He remembered his grandfather's stop watch, his ability to anticipate, there are so many indications that he has some kind of recall." Jack stuttered as he tried to put his thoughts in order.

"Aside from the stopwatch all of them are subconscious Jack, none of them are conscious, he can look at you and think I sort of know this person, but beyond that..."

"What about the emotional memory, you told me about?" Jack continued.

"Oh that's there, and most likely associated with strong emotions linked with basic drives, sex for example." Owen advised.

"So he will never remember." The devastating words hit Jack like blows.

"Well that's the point of all this isn't it Jack, Ianto damaged his memory beyond repair. I am not sure if it was the age of the dose he found or sheer luck, but he came out able to function. The truth is when he woke up that morning his mind was as good it was ever going to be and secondly," he tapped his finger the mouse showing the same brain scan on this time which can alive with what seemed an explosion of orange lines which almost appeared to be moving.

"It's this," Owen stated.

'What am I looking at?" Jack asked.

"I have no idea, I have never seen anything like this before," Owen advised.

"That's not very helpful," Jack stated recalling he had said something similar to Tosh on an earlier occasion.

"Jack, I have no idea what this is and neither does Tosh. She's back at the Hub right now going through every known energy signature to see if she can find a match."

"Is it harmful or hurting Ianto in any way?" Jack asked the question he needed answered.

"I'm with Tosh on this one I don't think he has been harmed in any way, in fact I would hazard a guess that he has been helped in more ways that we can begin to calculate." He looked at Jack.

"You said something interesting to me," He saw Jack raise his eyebrow. "You said that recently you felt like something in Ianto had turned on, and you noted it was after visit to the Henge when he got the headache."

Jack sat back thoughtfully as Owen continued, "I bet if we could fully document this I bet after every visit he has made some connection, something has switched on and he had moved forward.

Jack sat back his arms now crossed.

"It's not harmed him in any way?" Jack asked as he examined the scan and saw Owen shake his head. "Is this enabling him to recover his memories?"

"What happening here Jack is internal brain reorganization on the most delicate, fundamental level, far beyond anything we can understand, register or comprehend- it's repairing the connections within his brain on a molecular level."

"Owen, spell it out," Jack demanded.

"Let's say thought is like energy travelling across a series of numbers 1-2-3 and so on. All the numbers must be in sequence one after the other. Now what the Retcon did was to damage and remove the numbers 1 - 3 so the energy just stops at the gap and can't go any further because it needs all the numbers to continue," Owen tried to explain. "What this energy is appearing to do is repair the gaps between the numbers and allow the energy to continue."

"So it's replacing the numbers with new ones?" Jack queried.

"No, the numbers are gone forever." Owen stated.

"I don't understand then," Jack said confused.

"What this energy is doing is stringing the numbers together in such a way that the energy can continue to reach its destination." Owen corrected him. "It's subtle, delicate, it's like looking at picture of an old woman and suddenly seeing a young girl."

Jack sat back studying the image as Owen went to his brief case and took out a small file.

"There is also something else you need to know," he said handing it to Jack.

Jack took the file and began to read. As Owen watched Jack read he saw all the blood drain from his face.

"And this could happen to Ianto," Jack asked very quietly his voice shaking.

"It was a rare side effect that only occurred in a tiny number of subjects, sorry individuals." Owen said softly.

"So the chances are it could happen?" Jack gulped still trying to control his emotions not wanting to break down in front of Owen.

"When an individual experienced an intense overwhelming emotional shock, yes but only in 1% of all cases." Owen said gently.

"That's not good enough Owen I need answers, if I know the triggers then I can watch for them." Jack almost shouted at Owen. "Avoid them; make sure he is never put him in those situations."

"I don't know Jack the triggers in questions were all specific to each individual affected. All happened during extreme situations, all of them different, it was one of the reasons one of the compounds was banned from all use."

"So on top of all this he's walking around with a potential time bomb in his mind," Jack said his voice breaking up.

"Look, so far Ianto has been incredibly lucky. He woke up that first morning functional. He has been assisted in some way by an unknown force; we cannot even begin to comprehend. And thirdly the energy there may yet act as a cushion and the worst case scenario may never occur," he put his hand on Jack's shoulder.

"We're not talking normal everyday life events here, arguments, sex, basic stress that triggers this scenario. We're talking about one off events. All the evidence points to triggers that appeared to represent the realization of that persons worst fears. Every single trigger was caused by an extreme event and I cannot stress this enough, extreme event."

"Examples, I need examples" Jack asked desperate for some way he could control this.

Owen let out a deep breath. "Torture, rape, murder, severe injury, war, now unless I am mistaken Ianto's current situation doesn't appear to lend to any of those does it?"

"So he can still lead a perfectly normal life?" Jack asked softly as he felt a surge of incredible protectiveness towards his young assistant.

"You have to make each day count Jack. Life in Torchwood has always been dangerous; any of us could experience something just as nasty in our life as an operative, apart from you. How many of us have lived beyond 40 years?"

"I want Ianto to be safe..." Jack started to say as Owen interrupted.

"There is no such thing as safe. Not for any of us, all we have is the illusion of safety."

Owen saw Jack take a deep breath as he worked through the information.

"So the chances are this will never happen?" Jack asked.

"Out of the thousands upon thousands of individuals who took the compound in question less that 50 ever experienced total mind shutdown."

"50," Jack repeated feeling a small burst of hope.

"50," Owen repeated. "I told you this because you need to be aware, and when you make full disclosure to him whenever that is, he needs to know."

Jack nodded his head in understanding as he sat thinking through the revelations of the past hour.

"Well the really good news is I think I may have worked out one of the possible causes contributing to Ianto's level of stress." Owen advised after several moments had passed in silence.

"What?" Jack exclaimed.

Owen smiled, leaned back and put his hands behind his head. "I have my suspicion. All the symptoms are there," he said as he saw the confused look on Jack's face. "God Jack put it together man, he can't eat, sleep, is obsessed with his boss. I tell you for someone who isn't much of a talker; I couldn't bloody get him to shut up. It was Jack this, Jack that, Jack and I were here. Jack had this idea. How much you like his coffee. What you did for him when he was injured, apparently you can cook up bloody good breakfast by the way." He took a breath.

"Work it out man, he's feeling intense emotion and considering how much you appeared to shag each other the last time, his feelings are probably mixed up with a great deal of sexual frustration," he saw the look of realization grow of Jack's face.

"I knew you get there eventually," Owen said as he saw Jack had worked it out.

"He in love with me and wants to...." Jack said smiling to himself in remembrance.

"Yeah," Owen said stopping Jack in midsentence. "Knowing Ianto he's got some bloody long list with details of exactly what he would like to do to you."

"And this," he handed back the scan to Owen showing the strange energy pattern from the Henge.

"I think that message I left on God's answer phone actually got a result," Owen advised leaning forward to take the scan, as he recalled his to comment to Tosh in the Hub months before.

"Pardon?" Jack asked.

"Divine intervention," Owen said as Jack look became more confused. "We have a miracle Jack."

"Well that's interesting, because Ianto said he didn't believe in miracles or happy endings," Jack added.

"Well I guess he is in for one hell of a surprise then isn't he," Owen said as he began to pack up.

-@-

Owen leaned back taking a deep sip of the coffee Ianto had just handed to him. "God, how I have missed this." He said under his breath.

"Sorry." Ianto said as he heard Owen mutter. "I didn't quite catch that."

"I think he was saying how much he likes your coffee," Jack said quickly throwing a stern look at Owen.

"Yes, yes of course," Owen added hurriedly.

"You're welcome, we always like to start the day with a good cup," Ianto said as he poured a mug for himself as he looked at Jack, who smiled back at him.

"Well," Jack said taking a long sip from his own mug. "Owen as you're staying for a few days I thought we should take the opportunity to be adventurous." Jack said with a wicked grin on his face.

"Well what did you have in mind?" Ianto asked. "We don't need to go back to the Henge for another few weeks."

"Well I was thinking, it's summer the weather is almost nice, and we've been invited to participate in an exciting venture," Jack told them both.

Owen and Ianto glanced at each other then back at Jack.

"What sort of exciting venture?" Owen asked cautiously.

"A dig." Jack stated.

"A dig!" Ianto and Owen burst out almost simultaneously.

"That's right a dig" Jack repeated

"A dig, digging dirt," Ianto repeated

"In actual dirt?" Owen added adding to Ianto's chorus.

"Outside in the open air," Ianto said a look of horror on his face.

"Digging real dirt outside." Owen threw Jack a look of horror that matched Ianto's. "In the bloody country side," he added.

"The esteemed Dr Eda Lewis, expert in the Neolithic era is doing an archaeological dig 75 miles from the Standing Stones of Emin and I have offered our services," Jack told them both trying to hide the amusement he felt at their reaction to his plan.

"Dig as in actual digging in dirt," Ianto repeated as he looked up at Jack.

"Thought it was time we got down and dirty," Jack said smiling into his coffee at their reactions.

"And she is doing a dig," Ianto asked just double checking in case he had misheard and Jack was just pulling both their legs.

"Apparently she has identified a site for a possible Neolithic village and is currently spending five weeks on site with several of her most enthusiastic post grad students." Jack added. "And in exchange she has offered to answer any questions we might have related to our project."

"I understand you know one of the post grad students, he's hoping to use some of your findings to present in the Neolithic journal," Jack said to Ianto.

"Yeah Bradley Webster, we've talked and shared information," Ianto advised. "It's one thing to send an email," he paused trying to express how he felt, "I've seen Time Team it's just ditch digging."

"It will be good fun," Jack advised." She says there's a reasonable hotel nearby where everyone's staying, and I booked the rooms," Jack said at the look on Owens and Ianto's faces.

"For Christ sake Jack there's nothing fun about digging great big holes looked for scraps of crap," Owen burst up. "And I hate the bloody country side," he said in frustration as he saw Ianto nod in agreement at his outburst.

"It's one thing to do everything by and from the book; I thought it was time we participated in some actual basic research." Jack advised them both.

"Bloody basic, is right, bloody hell Jack." Owen continued his objections.

Jack pulled Owen aside, "You wanted to do some observation, "he flicked his eyes towards Ianto, "so take the opportunity to do so," he said almost through his teeth.

"All right then," Owen said throwing an evil look at Jack.

"I'll order in extra shovels then," Ianto said sarcastically shaking his head seeing the argument was lost.

"What you'll both need is several changes of clothing, a hat, and something nice in case we are invited out to dinner," Jack said "And sun block because you never know it might stop raining long enough to get burnt."

Ianto bit his lower lip as he tried to find the enthusiasm he would need for a week of sore backs, knees and broken finger nails.

"At least make sure the rooms have a bath," Owen said in disgust as he saw Ianto nod.

"Already booked my friends," Jack advised. "Already booked."

-@-

Ianto sat in Jack's car, his arms folded; trying to work up enthusiasm for what he knew was going to be a hard week.

Owen his comrade of moans and unhappiness had taken off in his own car, planning to join them at the site. Ianto has smiled as Jack had warned Owen had better turn up and not scarper back to Cardiff. Ianto knew how he felt he had had the same thoughts of escape himself.

He looked out of the window; the country side look so familiar, he read the sign as it flashed past the car. It was so beautiful here with a deeply wooded valley so unlike the windswept open nature of the moors. As they crossed the stone bridge, he suddenly recognised the significance of the location.

"Stop the car Jack, stop the car!" he called out.

"Are you Ok?" Jack asked Ianto as he glanced across, trying to find a place to safely stop.

"Please Jack, please stop the car," Ianto said an air of desperation in his voice. "I need to get out now," he stated.

Jack looking in his mirror saw what looked like a tourist lay-by ahead; pulling over the car came to a stop. As he did Ianto opened the door and jumped out.

Jack took off his own seat belt and got out. Ianto was walking around taking in the surroundings. Taking in the entire scene he crossed his arms and closed his eyes.

Jack took the moment to take stock of where they were the sign said "Bridal Falls Bridge". Jack had read about the place but never until now visited. It was a particular beauty spot. The stone bridge they had driven over was on three levels that crossed the narrowest part of a steep tree filled gorge. A fast running river ran down the gorge in a series of cascades which passed under the bridge.

Sensing this was something of deep significance for him he remained silent but close enough to let Ianto know he was there if needed.

After several moments Ianto opened his eyes. "Jack I'm sorry if I scared you." He said as Jack moved towards him and put his hands on his shoulder.

"There's something I need to do, and I'm not sure I can do this on my own" he said as he looked at Jack.

"Anything" Jack advised softly.

"I need to say good bye to Lisa," he said quietly. "I've been meaning to do it for some time, but I've never felt like it was the right time, or place, but when I saw where we were, I realised it was now and here." he tried to explain.

"What do you need?" Jack asked him keeping his hand on Ianto's shoulder.

"Just walk with me," Ianto asked as he headed to the pathway led down a series of long steps to the bottom of the gorge.

Slowly they walked down the path which led to the lower part of the bridge where the most spectacular cascade could be seen. As they got closer the noise of the river began to become stronger.

They stopped at the bottom at the look out. Ianto stood for several long moments taking in the beauty of the river as Jack stood with him.

"Lisa loved it here." He said a faint smile forming on his face in remembrance. "Finding this place was the highlight of our holiday, the one I told you about with all the rain." He paused as he recollected. "We were having this blazing row, I forget about exactly what. It's so strange how rows flare up and seems so important at the time and yet now I can't remember what we were fighting about." He stopped. "Anyway we were shouting at each other, she was driving, she pulled over, just up there," he pointed to where the Jack had parked. "She pulled over and stormed out the car and tore down the path here".

"I waited a while before I followed, always best to let Lisa alone when she was angry." He chuckled lightly. "When I got to the bottom of the path she threw her arms round me and kissed me." He stopped for a few moments as he caught his breath. "It was right on this spot, she said 'I love you Ianto Jones stubbornness and all'...and she spun me around and I saw all this." He indicated the sheer magnificence of the surroundings.

"I never felt so alive, being here with her in that moment," he said as his voice trailed off.

Jack listened to the river as Ianto took his time before speaking again. "While we were up here Lisa wasn't particularly well, she'd been feeling poorly on and off for weeks. When we got back she was diagnosed with Cancer."

"We went through months of hope mixed with fear followed by pain as she just faded away."

He took a sharp breath. 'One moment we would be elated that something might help followed by the realisation there was nothing anyone could do."

"Watching Lisa die was the hardest thing I have ever had to do." He added quietly after several long moments had passed.

Jack said nothing allowing Ianto the time he needed.

"It was a time when I leant something about myself I still have trouble with..... How selfish I could be," Ianto remarked disgust in his voice.

"That I can't imagine," Jack burst out in all honesty.

"She was in terrible agony; she couldn't bear even the slightest touch." He took a deep breath. "She was crying begging for some way out." He struggled to speak, "and all I could think of was please don't die, please stay with me just one more...."

He struggled to compose himself as the tears rolled down his face. Jack put hand back between his shoulders rubbing gently to let Ianto know he was not alone.

There was a long pause before Ianto spoke again.

"When she died I thought it was not possible to feel such pain and live." He took another deep breath "and yet here I am in the place of our last true happy memory."

Ianto looked into the river. After several long moments he straightened as came back to himself.

"Ianto did you tell her every day you loved her?" Jack asked gently.

Ianto looked at him. "Yes I did every moment I could," Ianto replied almost stuttering.

"Did you let her know she was the most important person in your life?" Jack asked and he saw Ianto nod in reply. "Lisa knew you loved her," he continued, "and when she died she took that with her into whatever lies beyond death: the knowledge that she was cherished and loved beyond measure and she was lucky to have someone who stood by her through all those terrible times to the very end".

Several more moments passed as they stood together, when Jack spoke again. "Well you did better than I did," he admitted his voice breaking up.

Jack looked up at the bridge then at Ianto as he continued, "Some time back I made a terrible mistake, and I let someone down very badly. They loved me, more than I deserved and being the fool I was did not recognise this until it was too late." He paused.

"I hurt them so deeply they performed a kind of suicide. I now have to live with that mistake, knowing that person has no recollection of what we once had, or ever could have or should have been," he continued almost whispering. "And my biggest regret, my biggest regret is that person never knew how much they meant to me, I never told them I loved them..." his voice trailed into nothingness.

"Oh Jack." Ianto said looking at Jack as he now put his hand on Jack shoulder to comfort him, appreciative that Jack had chosen to open up to him share something so personal with him in an effort to make him feel more comfortable.

"Lisa was incredibly lucky Ianto, she had you," Jack said adamantly looking into his face. "She's not been forgotten or put aside and she will be part of you forever because while you live her memory continues in you."

Jack watched as a shadow of a smile crossed Ianto's face as his words took effect.

"When I think of Lisa I want to remember her as the wonderful person she was and how much she loved me and how much I loved her," Ianto said taking strength from Jacks words. "As she was here in this place, alive and happy."

Jack watched as tears rolled down Ianto's face as he watched the river, it was some time before Ianto wiped his face dry as he turned to Jack.

"Thank you for this, I'm glad I didn't have to do this on my own," Ianto said as he took in a deep breath.

"There is nothing I would not do, Ianto all you have to do is ask," Jack replied looking at him. "Seriously, Ianto just ask," he added hoping Ianto could discern what he meant from his gaze.

Ianto stood for a while longer taking in the beauty of the gorge, then began to make his way back up the path with Jack walking beside him

As they were half way back Ianto stopped and looked back down the path as Jack joined him he asked curiously, "The person you lost, is there nothing you can do to put it right."

Jack looked at Ianto and put his hand on his shoulder as they walked together.

"As a matter of fact I'm working on it right now," he said with a gentle smile.

***

Chapter 19

Owen collapsed into the chair next to Ianto, his body aching in places he never knew he had until now. Ianto he noted was leaning back his legs stretched out, a half-drunk water bottle hanging limply between his fingers. Owen took the bottom of his tee shirt and wiped his face clear of sweat. He grimaced as saw he had left behind a very dirty mark.

"Ianto mate are you alright?" Owen said as he opened his own bottle water and took a long drink.

"I, I, hate the sun it makes me all grumpy and it and gives me a headache," Ianto moaned not opening his eyes.

"Have you seen my hands? I'm a surgeon, my hands are used to finer things," He leaned over to show Ianto who opened his eyes and sat up slightly. "Bloody hell," he said as he took Owen's hand then showed him his hands, equally dirty and sore looking.

"I, I'm an indoor person, give me a computer, a filing cabinet, a nice air conditioned office, and a coffee machine," Ianto paused and looked at Owen. "Is there any coffee left?" Ianto asked wistfully looked across at the flask sitting on a small camping table.

"Only instant," Owen advised.

"Fuck." Ianto stated. "I am not drinking instant, I don't care what they say on the bloody label it is not the same."

Owen smiled and looked towards his colleague and found himself chuckling. He had to admit the last four days would have been hell except for his new found friendship with Ianto. It had grown out of a camaraderie of suffering based on the fact that neither them were used to being outdoors. Indulging in what Ianto had described as a forced double ditch digging. In the past there had been this unsaid antipathy towards each other, culminating in Ianto shooting him in the shoulder. Now he found himself really liking the bloke, he had a sweet innocence about him mixed with a surprising naiveté wrapped around a core of steel.

Ianto looked up to see Jack heading towards them. "Oh no," he groaned.

Owen looked in the same direction as Ianto. "That's all we bloody need captain happy clappy," he said.

"Why does he always have to look so bloody pleased with himself?" Ianto said struggling to sit up fully.

"He probably found us another pointless meaningless task for us to do," Owen advised thinking about the hours of sieving they had done over the past three days.

How are the troops?" Jack said as he approached them wearing his biggest grin and rubbing his hands together with glee.

Ianto threw him a filthy look at his obvious pleasure in their discomfort. Ianto saw he was about to add something more when the dig manager Eda Lewis joined them.

"Excellent! There you are Mr. Jones, come with me, you're needed to referee an academic argument," she said as Ianto brightened. He stood and followed her over to the gathered students fully engaged in a heated debate.

Owen watched in open envy and he muttered, "lucky little fucker," under his breath as he saw Ianto join the conversation under the shade of the awning.

"And there is a pile of dirt with our name on it," Jack advised Owen.

"I didn't sign up for this sort of shit Jack," he burst out as he took Jack's offered hand assisting him to stand.

"Yeah what did you sign up for?" Jack asked him as they headed out from under the awning.

"Right now I don't remember, but I am sure the phrase back breaking was not in the job description," he said following Jack out towards a large pile of dirt.

-@-

With a dirty hand Owen wiped his face clear of sweat as Jack added another shovel of dirt into the large garden sieve at his feet. Picking it up he shook it and clouds of dust rose to be scattered in the light breeze. Coughing and spitting out grit, Jack checked the small objects left behind, more small stones. He flicked them on to the small pile in an ice cream container for later inspection.

"What we gonna do about that Henge?" Owen asked as he started on his second shovel full.

"Tosh reported in this morning, she went over every inch and nothing," Jack advised him.

"And Ianto?" Owen asked

"Keep him away for now until we know more. It's been there at least five to six thousand years it's not going anywhere," Jack told him.

"Doesn't one of you have to go once a month and pick up the data from the sensors? Won't he think it's strange if you try and keep him away?" Owen asked.

"I've asked for Tosh to arrange a satellite link so we can download the data remotely," Jack advised.

"Satellite link," Owen repeated not sure he had heard correctly.

"I've arranged a link via the European Space Agency," Jack advised "they have a geostationary satellite passing over every 16 days so we're gonna piggy back the download."

"Piggy back, passing over...arranged, you mean pay." Owen asked

"Basically, yeah," Jack admitted.

Owen whistled. "That sort of thing doesn't come cheap Jack, how much does that sort of thing cost?"

Jack looked at him without answering as he refilled his sieve.

"How much this cost you so far?" Owen asked.

"Fair bit," Jack advised.

"Fair bit," Owen repeated, "I saw the cost for those sensors, with the software included, and the computer set up, you didn't get much change out of 85,000 pounds. I know you're paying Ianto along with all the costs of the office and the University to use their resources."

"I've some savings, investments odd bit of property." Jack advised. "I've got my consultancy work with Torchwood that pays a bit," Jack added quietly.

"Bloody hell Jack, how much longer can you fund this?" Owen asked him bluntly.

"A while longer," Jack said glancing over at Ianto.

"What happens if you run out of funds? What then, you could be left with just your shirt on your back and that coat of yours," Owen commented as he followed Jack's gaze to watch Ianto who was in deep conversation with Bradley Webster and another student while Eda Lewis listened in.

"Jack for Christ sake tell him, it's not like you to hold back, what the problem?" Owen asked him frustration evident in his voice.

Jack looked back at Owen and let out a sigh not sure if he really wanted to share something so personal with the colleague.

"It's awkward, I just don't want. " Jack tried to explain.

"Screw this up." Owen offered seeing how uncomfortable Jack looked.

"Yeah" Jack replied. "I was an idiot for not speaking up and now I don't want to lose him because I lost patience and acted too soon."

"I've seen the way he looks at you Jack. Tosh tells me he been asking about you, aren't they all signs he's interested," Owen offered in exasperation.

"I need real evidence, a sign, a tangible sign if I had that...." He sighed glancing across at Ianto, "nothing would stop me." He paused. "Anyway it's our last day Owen, four days observation, report," Jack told him changing the subject.

Owen looked across at Ianto still in conversation with the other students which had now led to arm waving, and gesticulations.

"How long had you noticed him doing this?" Owen asked as he brought up his hand and rubbed the back of his neck where his skull met his top of his spine.

Jack stopped and looked across and Ianto who immediately proceeded to demonstrate the action as he listened to one of the other students talking.

"Never thought about it," Jack commented.

"Well, I first noted it when I was examining him and I realized it was something new. Well I never observed this gesture, when he was at the Hub," he said adding another shovelful to his sieve then picking it up and shaking it. "Over the past days I noticed he does it every time he has to think deeply. We were out here earlier today and I asked him about it. He told me he just gets this sensation deep in his skull like a deep itch he can't put words to. I asked him why he rubbed that spot and he said it just helped."

Jack stopped shaking the sieve as he thought about it. The gesture was one he has seen Ianto repeat so many times; he had never given it a second thought. As he thought about it, the last time it had been was during their conversation when he had returned after the Adam incident. Ianto had sat for several long minutes studying Jack in depth as he had massaged the back of his neck with his hand.

"Retcon or Henge?" Jack asked.

"You know I have a feeling its Henge related," Owen advised.

"What would have happened if he hadn't been pinged?" Jack asked very quietly not sure if he really wanted to know.

"Thank god we will never find out, but I suspect his shyness would have become locked in, becoming increasingly pathological. The speech hesitation and his slight stutter are definitely Retcon related. I know Ianto hasn't told us everything. He is so damned reticent god knows what has really been going on for him. And we both know how good he is at suffering in silence. One of the areas of damage is associated with those areas of the brain that deals with anxiety. Any damage will be linked with shyness, social phobias and it could be that he has been suffering a high degree of generalized or focused anxiety."

"Are you saying he could be suffering from some sort anxiety disorder caused by the Retcon damage?" Jack asked.

"It could explain a lot about the level of stress he's suffering," Owen advised. "And I always suspected he had some level of O.C.D." He saw Jack nodding in agreement thinking about Ianto's obsessive need to keep things in order.

"Has there been something I've missed? I mean to me, he comes across as well, Ianto," Jack asked.

"Most people of who suffer from this develop their own coping mechanisms and often go about their lives through sheer effort of will power refusing to allow it to dominate their everyday lives," he explained.

"Sounds like this is something you know a lot about," Jack said sensing Owen had more than a passing academic interest in the subject.

"I have a close family member who suffered, stills suffers and I tell you it takes an immense level of personal courage and will power to just get out of bed and open the front door every day."

Owen took a deep breath as he continued "Even with some repair the damage is so extensive the damage will affect his thinking forever," he said as he saw Jack close his eyes, clearly upset.

"But Jack remember what I said about the energy connecting the dots. Ianto is making an amazing recovery. It's true it takes him longer to get the emotional stuff, but it's still Ianto. He's all there, his intelligence is unaffected, he's still got his wicked sense of humor, he's still the same man as before. In a sense it's a testament to the human brain that it can recover from such a blow. I stand by the statement that it's a miracle he can remember his own name because the reality is Jack the man should be a vegetable. So why you're beating yourself up for what occurred and the choices Ianto made for whatever reason the fact that we are having this conversation is that Ianto is going to be OK."

Owen saw Eda waving them over to join her and the other students under the awning.

"Thank God," Owen said throwing down the sieve. "I have had enough of this shit, let's go look for that sign."

Jack put his hand on Owen's shoulder, "Thanks for this."

"Anything for you and the tea boy," Owen said trying to hide how he actually felt under a sarcastic retort.

"You don't fool me," Jack said smiling.

"Whatever," Owen snapped back heading toward the gathered group.
-@-

Placing the tray on the table Owen now served the drinks. "Vodka and tonic for you, Dr Lewis," he handed her a glass.

"Eda please," she said taking the glass.

"Whisky," Owen said handing the glass of amber liquid to Jack. Taking the pint glass from the tray he took deep and sip and sat down.

"Captain, I must congratulate you on finding the talented Mr. Jones," she told them.

"Jack please," Jack requested as he saw a smile flicker across her face.

"Oh but Captain suits you so much better," she replied as she saw a curious look grow on Jack's face. "I need to warn you, I am going to attempt to try and steal him from you. I know Bradley would love to have him work with us. And I know at least one of my other students wouldn't object."

"Where are they all tonight?" Owen asked seeing this part of the bar was empty.

"Oh the argument this afternoon has descended into what I believe will be a test of fortitude combined with a student custom associated with the end of an annual excavation," she said with an amused tone.

She saw a look of confusion. "A drinking competition," she told them. "I heard the challenge declared earlier and I also know at least one student is going to use the opportunity to attempt to kiss your Mr. Jones." She saw a dark look cross Jack's face.

"I wouldn't worry too much, they've been plotting this all week." She leaned forward in a conspiratorial whisper. "You see one of my female students has got a bit of a crush and is as shy as your Mr. Jones, it's taken her all this week to get up courage just to speak to him." She took a deep breath," So Captain, can you tell me why Torchwood are up here participating in a dig and studying the enigmatic stones of Emin?" she asked innocently.

Jack choked on his drink and saw Owen gulp, spilling his beer.

"How?" Owen said as he rubbed the beer that he had spilt on his shirt.

"How do I know? You see Captain Harkness and I have met before and I must say you are looking very good for your age Jack," she said.

Jack looked at Owen and then back at Eda, raising his eye brows and smiling shyly.

Eda sat back, "You know I'm kind of disappointed you don't remember me because I certainly remember you," She looked at Owen. 'What a week, I blush now thinking some of things we did," she said smiling "40 years ago, I was a Student of Professor Longstone; Torchwood was called into assist with an investigation into the goings on at "Skara Brae" on Orkney in Scotland." she said saw a smile growing on Jack's face. He took her hand and kissed it.

"I was stunned to get your request and a little disappointed you don't recall me," she told him.

"Eda I could never forget you I just thought time has passed, I didn't want to embarrass you," he told her.

"That does not answer my question Jack, what interest does Torchwood have in the standing stones of Emin?" She asked again accepting his explanation.

"This is an independent project," he advised her.

"Independent from whom?" she asked and waited again for a reply that did not come. "So an independent project investigating an obscure landmark hundreds of miles away in the middle of nowhere," she said looking at the Captain.

'Yes," Jack replied "I needed a research project, something that would require certain conditions; fieldwork, investigation, and be of interest to the person assisting the carrying out of that research."

She nodded as she a realization dawned on her. "Ah the excellent Mr. Jones." She raised her eyebrows.

"It's complicated," Jack tried to explain.

"Yes well love always is," she said looking at both their faces as Jack choked into his drink again.

Eda shook her head. "Jack you may think you've been discreet, but even someone at my stage of life can see that you never take your eyes off him, and those looks you throw at him when you think no one's looking." She took a breath. "Does he know all of this is just for him?"

Owen shook his head. "And I think Jack would like it to stay that way," he advised.

"As I said it's complicated," Jack said as he looked at her wondering how much he should say.

Owen interrupted before he could speak. "Ianto's one of us. A Torchwood operative and there was an accident," he looked at Jack, "and he's lost his memory."

"I see," Eda answered not sure she fully understood.

"Of Jack," Owen advised.

"So you're up here trying to see if you can jog his memory," she said as she now understood.

"So your studying the stones is just some happy coincidence," she said in reflection as she saw Jack nod as she sat back. "Well let me tell you something, you and your Mr. Jones have managed to do something that has been up to now, seemingly impossible," she said as she saw the look of confusion on their faces. "Up until now every project to study the stones, including my own, has failed."

"Failed in what way?" Owen asked his curiously piqued.

"You should know the stones come with a bit of a reputation in academic circles, a few years ago a group of us were doing an academic review. This for the un-initiated is a review of everything written and or studies done on a particular subject. During that review it was clear every group of standing stones in Europe had been subject to intense historical, geographic and scientific study except one."

"The standing stones of Emin," Jack reflected.

"For someone like me, it was heaven sent. I was on the lookout for my next project. An opportunity to go where no one had gone before was just too good be true," she advised.

"What happened?" Owen asked

"I told my head of department and he told me to not bother, that any attempt to study the stones would end in failure. He told me every study had ended before completion. And I can tell you that up until your efforts even mapping out the stones had appeared to be impossible. I actually laughed at him, and he told me go ahead and try."

"And?" Jack asked.

"As he predicted I never managed to set up a sustained study. Every time I tried to arrange something, my funding fell through, students got sick, I got sick. Another time we managed to actually start to map out the stones and it rained for 10 days straight making it impossible to work."

"So you ended it then?" Owen asked.

"No, I can be very stubborn and no bunch of rocks was ever going to get the better of me. What stopped me, was during what was to me my final visit time to the Stones, I got this incredible idea, that well, has driven my entire academic career," She advised them.

She raised a glass. "So to you and your fabulous Mr. Jones and all the incredible information he has been forwarding on." She took a sip and looked at them both, "and now for the really embarrassing bit, what do I have to do to get my hands on what's in those filing cabinets in your office? As you are well aware there is nothing I wouldn't do beg, borrow and or steal to get my hands on what's in them." She said as a huge grin spread over Jack's face.

Owen rolled his eyes and took a sip of beer wondering if it was possible to anywhere and not run into some ex-lover of Jack's.

-@-

"Jack, whenever we get back to the Hub I want a list," Owen told Jack as they headed back to their rooms.

"A list of what?" Jack asked not sure what he was being asked for.

"I want a bloody list of everyone you've not slept with," Owen told him

"Why not slept with?" Jack teased.

"Because it will be miles shorter than the one..." Owen stopped in midsentence as they came across two students giggling furiously clearly drunk struggling to hold Ianto upright.

"A one little kiss Ianto, please?" Jack heard one of the students say.

"We'll take him for here," Jack told them. As they moved aside Ianto staggered forward. Jack caught Ianto's right arm and threw it around his shoulder as he did so he put his own arm around his waist. Owen at the same time repeated the gesture on left side. Together they now attempted to move Ianto towards his room at the far end of the corridor.

"Come on tea boy," Owen said as they tried to maneuver Ianto down the corridor. Ianto clearly very drunk was using all is concentration in putting one foot in front of the other.

"Not tea boy, not allowed to call myself that anymore, Jack'll grumple gum, tell me off," Ianto told him.

The staggered several more steps and he fell towards the wall. "I've been drinking," Ianto advised stating the obvious as he leaned his head up against the wall.

"We can see and smell," Owen advised him struggling to bring Ianto back into an upright position.

"We had a com, com, compe pepeti tiontion," Ianto struggled to say.

"Drinking competition?" Owen offered.

"Yes, what you said, shelly sots," Ianto offered an explanation as Jack and Owen struggled to get him moving forward again.

"Jelly shots?" Owen offered grinning and shaking his head trying hard not to laugh.

"Yes," Ianto replied categorically.

"How many?" Jack asked wondering how much Ianto had drunk to get into this state.

The question stopped Ianto dead in his tracks. He brought a hand up to his face and started to count on his fingers. "15," he declared proudly.

"You drank 15 Jelly shots," Jack burst out.

"First, there was beer and a crandenberry cran something," he corrected him.

"A red rocket," Owen explained as he saw a look of query of Jack's face. "Diabolical , two shots 120% proof vodka with cranberry juice," Owen explained as he saw Jack wince.

"I drank that bugger Bradley under the table," he added chuffed with himself.

"Under the table and out the door by the sound of it," Jack commented trying to keep Ianto moving forward but he was so drunk he had become dead weight.

"I told him, you can't out drink me, I'm Welsh," Ianto added.

"You are going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow," Owen told him as Ianto tripped over his feet falling forward as Owen and Jack struggled to keep him upright.

Working together Jack and Owen moved making slow progress down the corridor. As they neared his room Ianto looked at Owen. " You know I like you Owen , when I first met you, I thought, I thought he's a bit of a wanker, but now I think your nice," he said.

"Thanks Ianto," Owen told him as they finally reach Ianto's room door.

"Key?" Jack asked as they reached the door as Ianto leaned his head on Jack's shoulder and snuggled in. "You smell so good," he said taking a deep sniff.

Owen places Ianto's arm over Jack's shoulder who was now steadying Ianto with both hands on his waist.

"I see if mine will work if not I'll have to go to the front desk," Owen advised getting out his own key. After a futile attempt it was clear it didn't work.

"Key, Ianto we need you room key?" Jack asked again.

Ianto looked up at Jack with a devious smile and declared swinging his arms out to his side. "I've hidden it on my body Jack. You'll have to search for it." Then after a few seconds declared in a stage whisper, "I'll give you a clue. It's in my right hand trouser pocket." As he finished his statement he fell towards Jack who steadied him.

Smiling and shaking his head Owen started to pat him down. Finding the key in his back jeans pocket pulled it out showing it to Jack.

" I'm drunk," Ianto declared.

" Ya think," Jack stated struggling to hold Ianto up.

"Tell me something we don't know." Owen told him as he attempted to unlock the door. It was an old fashioned key and he found he needed to fiddle with it to get it to fit into the tumblers.

Ianto looked startled at Owens question, stated loudly, "Alright then, I want him," and launched himself at Jack pressing him up against the wall. In one move he found Jack's lips and began to snog him. Feeling Ianto push him up against the wall with lips pressed against him Jack was taken by surprise as he felt Ianto starting to pull his shirt out of his trousers, followed by a hand pressing into his crotch. There were several frantic moments of struggle as Jack tried to hold Ianto up and at the same time keep his hands out of his trousers. Finally, he managed to grab both hands but was still unable to push Ianto away who was kissing him in a determinedly single minded passion.

"Put him down Ianto," Owen told him as he pulled him off.

Taking Ianto by the arms they got him into his room and as they entered Ianto staggered and almost fell but Jack caught him.

"I think we had better get you into bed," he advised kindly.

"I wish," Ianto stated giving Jack a wanton look as he launched himself towards Jack again. Jack managed to catch him before he fell on the floor. Assisting him to stand Jack watched as Owen quickly pulled back the bed covers on Ianto's bed.

Straitening up Ianto threw his arms around Jack again and attempted another snog. He almost reached Jack's lips when Owen came to his rescue and pulled him back. "You know, you don't have to get me drunk, " Ianto advised as he felt Jack's hands undoing his belt buckle. "Yeah?" Jack asked looking into his eyes.

"Yeah," Ianto replied eagerly. As he spoke Jack pushed him gently backwards while holding onto the end of his belt and in one swift move yanked it out. As he did Ianto spun slightly and fell face down on the mattress. He belched gently and immediately closed his eyes.

"The way you did that Jack suggests you've had practice," Owen said impressed.

"Years," Jack replied taking a deep breath and with Owen's help moved Ianto so he was fully on the bed and then pulled up the sheet and blanket covering him.

'That was interesting." Jack said as looked down at Ianto as he tucked his shirt back into his pants then wiped his mouth.

"Well Jack, you wanted a sign, this one' 50 meters by 50 meters flashing 'take me now," he declared crashing in a soft chair on the far side of the room.

"Yeah I think he made his feelings pretty obvious," Jack advised smiling to himself.

"For god's sake Jack tell him how you feel," Owen advised. "All this bloody angst."

Jack took a deep breath and put his hand on Ianto's shoulder and patted it, looking at Owen.

"Tell him you love him," Owen told him firmly.

"Is that a hint of romanticism I hear in your voice Owen?" Jack asked looking at Owen.

"All right then, take him somewhere, snog each other senseless, and then do each other. Watching the two of you dance around each other is doing my head in," Owen advised wearily. "Look if you won't tell him I bloody well will," he said standing up and starting toward the comatose form on the bed. "Ianto, Jack loves you, he was a complete bloody idiot, but he loves you."

Jack kissed Ianto's cheek then whispered in his ear.

"Come on Harkness I want to leave early tomorrow and get back to civilization, "Owen told him as Jack stood and they headed for the door.

"Well I think I have an idea, a romantic evening, fancy restaurant," Jack told.

"Don't bloody care Harkness, just get on with it," Owen told him as he shut the door.

As the door shut with a click Ianto's eyes flew open as wide as it was possible for them to be.

-@-

Placing the final bag in the boot of his sports car Owen shut the lid down with a snap.

"Right Harkness, this is been without doubt the most uncomfortable, dirt filled, experience of my life promise me we will never do this again," he said a sardonic look on his face.

Jack pulled him into a huge bone crunching hug.

"Oi!" Owen tried to say but found all his breath being squeezed out.

"I can't tell you how much I appreciate you coming," Jack told him.

"Save it for Ianto," Owen told him as they pulled apart. "Now tell me you are going to say and do something?" he asked tilting his head towards Jack.

"I've booked dinner for both of us tonight, and by the end." Jack replied

Owen held up his hand. "Please spare me the details, just do it," he advised as he saw Jack nod his head.

He got in and closed his car door, "I'm off, "he said as he started up the engine and drove with speed away from the hotel.

Looking back in his mirror, he saw Jack walking back to the hotel. As he drove down the narrow road he looked out for a place to stop. Seeing a farm drive way he pulled in. Taking a deep breath he opened out his cell phone and made a call.

"Tosh, sorry is it that early? He took the phone from his ear as Tosh raised her voice.

"Look I'm know I am going to regret this the rest of my life but," he pulled the phone away as

Tosh continued her tirade, several moments passed before she halted and he could speak again. "I need you to do something for me, well not me actually, now listen, yes I'm sorry I know it's early," he took the phone away from his ear again. "This is not for me yes, it's early. I have said I'm sorry, this is important, what I want you to do is help me with something. Yes, it's bloody important. No it can't wait, look I need you to....." Tosh went quiet as Owen began to speak. He groaned at her reaction. "Oh god woman don't all bloody mushy on me. Yes I promise I 'll come if there's a wedding , yes I promise you a dance, "he heard a squeal of delight down the phone " Thanks Tosh," he said as he ended the call.

He looked down at the number pad, now for his part flicking the phone open again he dialed then started speaking."Ianto there's something you really need to know ....." Flipping his phone shut he looked into his mirror, smiling as he put the car into gear and put his foot on the throttle. 'Well if this didn't work' he told himself, 'who knew what the fuck would.'

-@-

Ianto woke up. The first thing he felt was a terrible throbbing in his forehead. He groaned then attempted to move. His mouth was open and it tasted like something unspeakable had climbed in and died. He sat up slowly, leaned forward and drew his hand over his face.

As he sat up the pain in his head changed character. It felt as if his brain, having failed to escape his skull, was now digging its way out using some form of blunt instrument. The sun was coming through the cracks of the curtains and he squinted his eyes as the pain of the light made the throb in his head even worse. He felt his bladder fit to burst and he stood, swayed slightly and made his way to the toilet.

Leaning forward with a hand out against the wall he peed. After a long pause he felt a modicum of ease as his bladder emptied. Now finished he staggered back into the bedroom. As he became more into himself he realized he was fully dressed but without his belt.

The pain in his head got his attention again and he laid back down closing his eyes as he tried to recollect some of the previous evening. The only clear part was the beginning, the rest were just flashes. A row of drinks; he recalled the beer and some kind of sweet concoction. He groaned as a vague recollection of meeting Jack and Owen came to him and he put his hand to his forehead.

'What the fuck was the time,' he said to himself and looked across at the clock. For several seconds he tried to focus on the clock after few moments her realized it he couldn't read the time because it was covered with a note with small vial sellotaped to it.

Picking up the note he pulled off the vial and saw it was from Owen. Squinting to focus his eyes he started to read.

"The amount you drank last night you will have the hangover from hell. For reasons I am not about to disclose here you will find said vial" Ianto examined the small vial and saw it contained what looked like some sort of milky liquid. "Contained in this vial is perhaps the best hangover cure in the entire Universe, so Jack tells me." Ianto had another look at the contents. "Now drink this, have a shower, shave, change your clothes, read the note from Jack and then listen to your voice messages. You can thank me later."

Snapping the top of the vial he drank it down in one gulp. Spluttering and gagging he lent forward as a bitter aftertaste hit the back of his throat. Muttering under his breath he grabbed a half drunk water bottle. Fumbling with the lid he opened it and took several gulps of water to try and get rid of the vile taste. The water dribbled down his chin and he wiped it with the back of his hand. Leaning forward he picked up the note from Jack.

"I figured that you would want to sleep off last night so don't be surprised at the time"

Ianto now looked at the clock and saw it was 2.30 in the afternoon. Ianto groaned as he fell backwards on to the bed the note screwed in hand.

Several moments passed as he lay there with his eyes closed, his stomach churning. Finally he brought up the note to read the remaining words.

"Pick you up for dinner 7.30 be ready, it's a date."

Pulling himself up he headed for the shower. Stripping he put his hand under the water as he waited for it to be just the right temperature. He now stepped under the hot water and let it cascade over his body. Turning slowly he allowed the water to soak away the ache in his muscles. The water flowed over his face and it filled his mouth, it tasted so sweet. As he did he felt the pain in his head ease and the ache in his body begin to fade.

What a night, what the hell had he been drinking? His stomach turned a flip as he recalled the concoction of drinks, 'never gonna touch those again,' he promised himself. He picked up the shampoo and washed his hair, as he did he felt his stomach settle. His head began to clear and he began to feel a lot better. 'Hell,' he thought, 'Owen was right.' He started to hum as he started to wash his body.

'Bloody hell.' He was feeling brilliant. ' What was in that vial?' He rinsed the soap off his body letting the water run over his whole body, it felt so good. Some got into his ear it felt just like a whisper, he stopped bringing his hand up to the back of his neck. 'There was a whisper, a whisper,' he recalled, 'a whisper... what the hell was that whisper?

He grabbed the towel; the whisper had been soft, warm, and like breath in his ear that smelt just like Jack, what were the words. He stood up as he dried himself, God he was feeling good his headache was almost gone and he felt like he had slept off months of fatigue.

Opening his bag he pulled on fresh boxers followed by a clean t-shirt and jeans. Now where was that belt? He saw it on the floor, picked it up and threaded it through the loops of his jeans.

A breath soft in his ear. Why could he not recall the words they were just on the edge of his consciousness, all he could remember was an incredible feeling of love?

He picked up Owen's note and read it again. Picking up his cell phone he saw he had two messages.

One was from Tosh the other Owen, pressing keys he began to listen

Staggered he sat down as he listened. Trembling he now listened to the second message as he did closed his eyes, and the words from the whisper came to him.

-@-

Standing with impatience at the lobby desk, Ianto waited for receptionist.

"Captain Harkness, have you seen him he's not in his room, but his car still in the car park," he asked impatiently.

"Ianto Jones?" she asked professionally ignoring his manner. "He left this for you." She reached out taking an envelope from a cubby hole and handed it to him. Tearing it open he read the message and headed for the front entrance.

Stretching out Jack eased the knot in his shoulder. Owen had been correct, this week had been physically tough, and he was sore. He looked at his watch, and his stomach fluttered. Tonight he would tell Ianto how he felt. Well maybe he would kiss him first, kiss him a lot, then kiss him all over, then tell him how he felt. After last night he had no fear he would be rejected. He looked at his watch again as the second hand crept with agonizing slowness around the dial.

Lost deep in thought he stood to take another turn around the hotel garden. It was so beautiful, being sheltered from the winds by a tall rock wall, an old fashioned closed garden complete with gazebo, roses, and overhanging trees. He thought he heard movement and saw it was Ianto. In single moment he found they were embraced around each other, their lips meeting in a moment of sublime glory. Jack felt the world around him dissolve as he kissed Ianto with all the bent up desire and frustration on the past months. Ianto kissed Jack with all the passion and desperate yearning easing the ache in his heart.

Several moments passed as they became the only two beings in the universe. Pulling back now to catch their breath they lent their foreheads together. Slowly now with a tender deliberation they each other kissed more deeply each taking the measure of the other. Pulling back for a third time, they looked into each other's eyes. Crashing their lips together, there followed an ecstasy of fumbling. Realizing where they were, Ianto pulled back with difficulty, Jack who understood without words his intention took his hand and headed back with speed to the hotel.

"Captain Harkness," the receptionist called out as she saw Jack and Ianto race past the front desk "Are you checking out now?"

Ianto who was just ahead of Jack still tightly clutching his hand turned his head sharply towards Jack who stopped and turned towards her.

"No," Jack said with great impatience as he looked at Ianto, "we'll be staying one..."

"Two," Ianto corrected him. "Three?" he added hopefully.

"Three more days," Jack replied looking at Ianto who had raised his eyebrows as they moved off together.

"And cancel my dinner reservation," Jack shouted back as they disappeared out of the lobby.

-@-

A tray filled with afternoon tea of scones, jam, honey, coffee and cream lay longways between Ianto legs. Wrapped in sheet he leaned back into Jack who was sitting behind Ianto his arms around him as he softly kissed Ianto's neck.

Leaning into Jack's chest he to spread jam onto a scone. Then reaching back he offered him a bite.

Seeing the jam on his fingers Jack took his hand and taking his finger sucked it off.

"You know you're taste delicious without the jam," Jack advised as he now took a bite of scone held by Ianto.

Ianto tilted his head and kissed Jack on the lips pulling back he took a bite of the same scone.

"I had some interesting voice messages left for me today," Ianto advised.

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Really?" he asked. "You gonna share?" taking another bite.

Ianto kissed Jack again then he now poured him a coffee and handed it to him.

Jack sat a little straighter taking the coffee. "I want to share myself with you forever," Ianto said him taking a hand and kissing it.

Jack kissed his shoulder as Ianto handed him another bite of scone.

"Did you mean everything you said to me last night?" Ianto asked him quietly.

"Every word and more Ianto," He told him. " Just give me time and I will prove it in every look gesture and action."

Taking the tray, Ianto carefully removed it from bed taking the coffee cup form Jack's hand and placed it on the bedside table. He took his face cupping it in both hands kissed Jack leaving him in no doubt how much he needed him too.

-@-

His fingers twisted and entangled in Jack's hair from the top of his head, lost in sensation as Jack worked his mouth around his cock, he arched his back and thrust forward as he felt Jack swallow him deeper. He felt a finger slip its way past his entrance, suddenly it hit a sweet spot he never knew existed until this moment and it took him over the edge and body shuddered as his orgasm ripped through his body. He felt that spot touched again and he felt a wave as he came even harder. Jack had asked him he had felt adventurous but he was not expecting this ecstasy.

Several moments passed as Jack made sure he took in every drop of his lover's essence. Kissing his way up his abdomen he worked his way up his chest until he reached his lips and gave him a deep kiss.

Ianto let out a huge breath completely sated as Jack kissed his way up his body. Finding Jack's lips on his he kissed him back. For a few seconds he didn't recognize the sweet slightly bitter taste then realized he was tasting himself as he tried to catch his breath.

Wrapping his arms around Jack he held him close kissing the top of his head as he settled on his chest.

Taking Jack's hand Ianto wrapped into his and began to kiss it.

"This is real isn't it Jack?" Ianto asked softly. "Not some dream I'm going to wake up from and find you gone."

"I promise Ianto, when we wake up here tomorrow you will wake up in my arms," Jack advised as he kissed his forehead.

"That's good Jack because, I need you Jack, I lo...." he said as drifted into a deep sleep.

Jack pulled Ianto closer, wrapping his arms around him and felt humbled by the man in his arms. He had been privileged that this man had fallen in love with him once. By what miracle could he put to being this lucky for a second time? Somehow, somewhere in his life he must have done something worthy of such a reward; what he couldn't imagine.

There was so much further they had to travel, so much yet to be revealed. The truth about himself and his past. The truth about Ianto's past, Lisa, and the reality of Torchwood. They had so much yet to face, but right here, right now in this moment, this was enough.

If love could find a way forward out of such tragedy then it could find a way through the trials to come. This time Ianto would know he was loved, and adored, Jack would make certain of it. He intended that Ianto would never doubt his love again. Jack had made a promise that night and written it in the last page of Ianto's journal. He had promised he would find him and put things right. He asked what ever powers to be for the strength to do just that.

In the distance far away six lost and lonely souls wept with joy and dreamed a happy dream.

***

Secrets and Lies- Part Four

Chapter 20

Turning the page of the book he was reading as quietly as he could, Jack looked up at the time; three am. He heard a sound and he looked up turning head towards the partially open bedroom door. He caught his breath but let it out when he realised it was Ianto turning over in bed thankfully still sleeping.

With any luck Ianto might make it through the entire night for once. If nothing else Ianto could do with just one good night's sleep. He turned his head to double check Ianto was still sleeping and saw he lay still deeply asleep.

He smiled to himself as he thought of his lover and all they had shared over the past weeks. As before Ianto had wanted to race ahead wanting to please Jack. However for the first time ever Jack had wanted to take things slowly. Partly he recognised he wanted to saviour every encounter, it was not often in one's life you got a second change and this time he had wanted to get it right. Secondly he wanted Ianto to really enjoy the unfolding of their physical relationship; he wanted to make it special for him.

He had slowly introduced elements to their love making culminating with their first time a few weeks after the dig. As they came close to going all the way, he had sprung a surprise romantic weekend. Ianto had loved the entire experience; from the rose petals on the bed, champagne, dark coffee chocolates that awaited them on their arrival, to the deep bath and love making. He sighed, for that is what had been: making love. Until now he had never fully understood that phrase: sex was sex, a means to an end, sexual release. But this was different he wanted their love making to be a reflection of the love, security and commitment he should have offered Ianto before he had left with the Doctor. And right now if it was in his power to do anything that would ease whatever Ianto was going through he would do it.

He heard the fridge start up; talking about cold, he recalled his conversation with Gwen today. She was insisting he now end his time there and return to his duties at Torchwood. They needed him, she argued, she had held the fort long enough and needed time to resolve some of the issues in her life.

To say he was reluctant to return was understatement, and although he had to admit part of him did miss the excitement, another part of him didn't want to return Torchwood with all its dramas, problems, and risks. Regardless of the current difficulties as sobering as they were, he loved it was just him and Ianto, going about their everyday life. The last thing Ianto needed right now to be taken from everything that was familiar and thrown in the deep end somewhere else. This was his home and while he lived where Ianto was, was home for Jack.

Setting up home with someone was something he had not considered or enjoyed for a very long time, although he had to admit he faked it well. Past lovers and or partners never suspected for one moment how much he felt constrained by any situation coming close to domesticity, except two, he smiled to himself. When had first arrived on earth and unaware of his immortality he had fallen in love with a wonderful woman, Sarah. They had married and set up home. From the first he had revelled in the day to day delights of married life. It didn't matter if it was choosing colours to paint the walls or winding the mangle handle on wash day, he had cherished every moment.

He sighed as he reminisced. They had had one wonderful year and instead of continued bliss, she had died in childbirth. She had died along with the baby, so he could not even console himself with bringing up even a piece of Sarah. In the grief that had followed, he had discovered he could not die. He had to admit he had gone off the rails there for a while. He had indulged in what could only be described as reckless behaviour which ultimately ended with him joining Torchwood.

And now there was Ianto. He felt a surge of love and protectiveness towards him. Setting up home with Ianto promised a re-acquaintance with those lost delights. He heard a noise as Ianto cried out, standing up he raced into the bedroom pulled back the covers and slid in next to him.

"It's Ok, I'm here," he said as took him into his arms. Ianto looked him with terror filled eyes as he jerked awake.

"Oh Jack I'm sorry I, I, I woke you again," Ianto said the strain clear in his voice.

"No, I was already awake," Jack told him softly as he gave him a gentle kiss.

"I should get up, let you rest," Ianto offered.

"You need to rest Ianto you're exhausted. Let me just hold you and see if you can fall asleep," Jack offered.

"I'll try," Ianto agreed as Jack wrapped his arms around him and listened as for once he felt Ianto drifted back to sleep. "Please Ianto," he whispered "let me in and tell me what's wrong."

-@-

Handing over a mug of hot coffee Jack pulled Ianto to him and gave him a small kiss on the lips.

"Ok," Jack said "Let's go through what we got for today," he said as he saw Ianto now pour a coffee for himself and sat down in the chair facing Jack's desk.

"I've got to complete my part of the journal article and get it off to Bradley," Ianto told him.

"How close are you to completion?" Jack asked him.

"Very close, just got the bibliography to go and then I can forward it to him today," Ianto advised.

"Excellent," Jack said.

"And you?" Ianto asked.

"I thought I'd follow up on that cap stone Eda Lewis she recalled, might belong to our Henge. She's given me a few ideas on where to look so I'm going over to the geological library to see if I find a better indication as to where it is," Jack said. "I'll bring back lunch. Fancy anything or you happy with what I bring back?" Jack asked as he saw Ianto hesitate.

"Sure whatever you bring back will be fine." He told him as Jack drained him mug and stood. Taking his coat off the coat rack and putting it on, he pulled Ianto into his arms and gave him a hug and light kiss.

"Be back soon," he said as he left the office and headed over to the library.

"Damn it," Jack said to himself as he walked down the corridor that bloody mouthwash was back in Ianto's pocket

-@-

Ianto closed his eyes as he heard the door shut. He put his head in his hands and braced himself as the feelings he had been holding on to claimed him. He began to shake as he felt his heart race and he became short of breath, he felt pressure in his head and his stomach twisted, he tasted bile in his throat. Opening the door he raced the toilet and threw up the small amount of breakfast he had managed to eat. Bracing himself against the cubicle walls he closed his eyes he tried to focus on the counting ritual that has worked in the past to bring him back. He got to 39 when he realised his anxiety was not decreasing. He braced himself against the sides as the anxiety went through him in waves.

'Please god,' he pleaded, "don't let Jack find me like this." He felt his anxiety consume him and felt a horrible blackness over take his mind....

Several moments later Ianto stirred, he was on the floor jammed against the toilet legs twisted under him. He straightened up and looked at this watch to check how long he had been out of it this time; only five minutes and he felt surge of relief. He would be back in the office before anyone realised he was missing. He took out the mouthwash and took a mouth full then spat it into the toilet bowl and made his way back to his office.

He knew what Jack was thinking; he thought he was throwing up deliberately, when nothing could be further from the truth; he was starving. He wanted to eat but the sight and smell of food made him sick to his stomach. His anxiety right now was constant and it was only his will power that allowed him to appear in control.

'Why did I let Jack move in with me?' he berated himself. It had been after that incredible weekend, he had been feeling astounding, the anxiety had almost gone and he was sleeping, well mostly sleeping. But when Jack had moved in he realised he could no longer preform those rituals that allowed him to control his anxiety outside his flat. Jack had immediately sensed something was wrong and offered to help. The panic that filled him had meant he had to hurt Jack and it had crushed him as he had used his own logic against him. But if he knew, if he found out then all this was over. Jack would be out that door, hell he couldn't stand himself, why would Jack stay? His mind now filled with the mantra that dominated his thinking: 'Please don't let me lose Jack.'

-@-

Looking through the surveys, Jack tried to remain calm, as he tried to order his thoughts. How many times in the past months had he been in the library worried sick about Ianto? 'Too many,' he heard an inner voice reply. All this time he had been focused on being with Ianto, it had finally happened and it was wonderful, but something was wrong. Something was happening for Ianto, he could see the fear in his eyes, in his heart of hearts, and he knew it was more than fear, it was terror.

After his long discussions with Owen he had prepared himself to discover what Ianto had not told them. Even after their relationship had re-ignited he had managed to preserve that mask, but once Jack had moved in the reality of his situation became very evident. The truth was Ianto was a lot more fragile than he appeared.

Jack now recognised that what he had seen and had experienced was the façade Ianto had shown him and the world. He had tried to offer his help only once and he still recalled the conversation with on-going distress.

It had been one week after he had moved in, they had just made love and Ianto was his arms his head on his chest as he kissed the top of his head.

"Ianto please tell what's wrong?" he asked as he felt Ianto immediately tense up and remain silent.

When it was clear Ianto was not going to reply, he started to ask again, as he did Ianto got up pulled on his bath robe and left the room.

Jack followed as Ianto stood looking out the window of his apartment. Walking over he stood behind him and put his arms around his waist and began to speak again but stopped when he saw the look of sheer terror on Ianto's face reflected in the glass. He pulled him around into his arms, "Let me help," he offered as he felt Ianto tense up again and move away.

"I don't need help," Ianto told him as clearly as he could.

"Ianto I see it in your eyes, something is wrong."

Ianto interrupted, "I can deal with this, I am dealing with it," he told him his voice shaking.

"Dealing with what Ianto?" he asked gently.

"I don't want to talk about it," he responded.

"How can I help if you won't tell me what's wrong?" Jack said frustration evident in his voice as he put his hands on Ianto's shoulder and looked into his eyes.

Ianto pulled away and stepped back as he looked directly at Jack for several moments then started to speak. "When you came back after you were missing for those ten days you told me that you couldn't tell me what happened, but after a year, if I asked then you would tell me, right?" Ianto said.

Jack nodded not sure where this was going.

"I sat and listened to you, I was hurt, freaked out," he stopped to compose himself as he struggled to speak. "I, I'd been though ten rounds of hell, but I listened and regardless of the cost to myself, I agreed," he saw Jack nod unable to argue as his own strategy was against him.

"I've shown patience and understanding. I've given you the space and time you needed in spite of how much distress it has caused me." He took Jack's hands.

Jack pulled Ianto towards him holding him and Ianto put his forehead against his.

"In all this time Jack I have never asked you for anything," he looked into Jacks eyes, "so I am asking you now please, please show me the same patience and understanding that I have given you." He took a deep breath, "We both have secrets, things we can't or don't want to share with each other."

"You don't have to do this on your own," Jack said tears in his eyes," I'm here for you."

"I know," Ianto replied "What you are doing is helping, just being here, and being with you it's all I dreamed and more." He struggled to say.

"I want to do more, let me," Jack asked quietly.

"This is not something you can help with me," Ianto said trembling.

"I don't believe that Ianto, I love you, please let me help, there must be something, and I will do anything." He said desperately.

"Anything?" Ianto queried.

"Anything Ianto there is nothing I would not do," Jack said his voice breaking.

"I have only one request then, "Ianto told him.

"Anything," Jack reiterated

Ianto took a deep breath knowing he was going to hurt Jack deeply with his words but knew if he really told him the truth he risked losing everything he treasured, "Don't ask me about this again." He said.

Jack opened the map drawer. That had been six weeks ago and everyday he had to stand by and watch as Ianto struggled with his demons. He had good days and bad days, and all he could do was stand by him and support him in any way he could. He tried every moment he could to let him know in words and deeds how much he loved him and he was there for him. It caused him real pain to know at this point Ianto couldn't or wouldn't share with him. He had called Owen but he couldn't help. If Ianto was not ready to share, they couldn't force him.

He took out the map and slammed the drawer shut. Who would have thought when he kissed Ianto in that garden he would now be experiencing this hell? He could think of nothing worse than watch he man loved suffer in silence and be powerless to do anything about it.

***

Chapter 21

"How in god's name, did they move such massive lumps of rock around the countryside?" Ianto asked as he examined the large rock before them. It was at least 70 feet tall, but was lying face down on the ground. Its base was wider at the bottom than at the top. Even lying down it would take a good step up to climb onto its surface.

Jack smiled as he took a deep breath of the country air. It was wonderful to get out of the office. He glanced over at Ianto who was climbing onto the top of the broad surface. He was pleased to note Ianto was looking a lot better. He was eating, much to his relief and the past few nights he had slept all the way through. Ianto had told him just this morning, how much he appreciated his efforts, in allowing him the space to deal with whatever it was.

In celebration they had enjoyed a morning shower activity Ianto had termed find the knob. Jack was only too happy to oblige if he could nothing else then he would make sure he would allow Ianto to experience as much pleasure as was in his power to do so. If Ianto was having a bad day then it was his role to ensure it at least ended on a high point.

Seeing Ianto reach out his hand he took it and joined him on the top of the slab of rock. As he joined him he pulled Ianto towards him and gave him a deep kiss. As they drew back they stood arm around each other enjoying the view.

They were on top of a hill overlooking the entire moor. The day which had been threatening to a storm all morning had cleared enough so that they could see right down to the sea.

"It's beautiful here," Ianto said after a few moments.

"Yeah," Jack agreed looking at Ianto, "views pretty spectacular from where I'm standing."

Ianto looked at his watch 'I'm starving, do you think we could have an early lunch."

Handing the lunch box back to Ianto, Jack was pleased to see Ianto take a third sandwich and hoover it down with obvious appetite. He was relieved, another week with Ianto not eating and he was going to call Owen up, agreement or no agreement.

Ianto saw Jack smile and knew it was because he was eating. Although Jack had kept to his word, he knew he kept a running tally of everything he ate, well food anyway.

"Chicken and avocado, were you yanking my chain that time or is it really your favourite?" Ianto asked.

Jack took bite of his sandwich, "asolutly," he said with a full mouth, "my favrite."

"I still can't work out how you did it," Ianto teased.

"What?" Jack asked seeing the twinkle in Ianto eye.

"I remember you took me out to dinner and ordered everything I liked from the entrée, desert and beer if I recall," Ianto told him.

"Except that chicken dish," Jack said as leaned forward put his hand behind Ianto's neck and pulled him towards him gave him a kiss. "And I intend you will never order the second cheapest dish on any menu again," he told him.

"I like chicken," he said coyly.

"Ianto you hate chicken," Jack answered.

Ianto laughed, "Ok you got me, I hate chicken."

"Told ya." Jack said laughing as he watched Ianto lick his fingers.

Ianto saw Jack looking at him. "Penny for your thoughts?" he asked him knowing exactly what Jack was thinking.

"I was just thinking there's part of you I would love do to that to," Jack said slowly.

"I'll have to check my list." Ianto teased.

"If it's on your list then you can mark the task as accomplished several times over, in fact several, several, times over," Jack told him in mock seriousness.

Ianto smiled and whispered something in Jack's ear who started to grin then gave him a deep kiss.

"You know what Ianto Jones," Jack said as they broke to take breath "I like your thinking."

"And I need the practice." Ianto told him trying to keep straight face.

"Much more practice Ianto and you will have reached Olympic gold medal standard," Jack told him honestly.

"Well practice makes perfect," Ianto told him seriously. "I need to get my technique just right," he said as he saw the look of lust on Jacks face.

Jack stood up and looked around to check they were alone, all he could see was a deserted standalone half ruined barn approx. five meters from where they were and the road from what he could see was clear. He felt arms pulling him down.

Giving Jack and another deep kiss Ianto used his hand to undo Jacks belt and unzipped him, then slipped his hand and took gently stroked Jack's cock. He felt it twitch and begin to swell taking hold of the shaft he gently worked it to full erection. He heard a small moan escape Jack's lips and he kissed it away. Kissing his way down his body he came to Jack's open fly and saw Jack was fully erect so he pulled his boxers down and exposed his erection now throbbing in time with his heartbeat. Jack gasped as he felt cold air. Licking around the head and the back of the shaft and up again, Ianto now put his hand around the bottom of the shaft. As he did he felt Jack tremble and taking the head he now placed his lips over the very end and ran his tongue over the opening tasting a drop of pre-cum. slipping his mouth over his cock he now removed his hand and took his entire length.....

Ianto and Jack startled as an ear splitting thunderclap broke just above them and huge drops or rain began to fall soaking them.

"Shit," Ianto said as he jumped up as he saw Jack join him trying to put his penis back in his pants and do up his trousers and not catch himself on the zip. Ianto grabbed the rug they had been lying on by the four corners throwing over his shoulder and he towards the barn door.

As Jack joined him the rain increased in intensity and another thunderclap shook the barn. Catching their breath they both broke into fits of laughter.

"Well that's one blow job I am never gonna forget," Jack said wiping the rain from his face laughing.

"And here I was hoping it was going to be memorable for other reasons," Ianto said laughing as he lowered the rug to the ground.

Jack threw his arms around Ianto and kissed him.

"Have you any idea how much I love you." Jack said as he spoke he felt Ianto stiffen in his arms. He looked up to see a look of horror on Ianto's face and his heart jumped.

"Oh God," Ianto said as he struggled to get each word out. Jack looked around to see where they were. They were in the middle of the barn, someone had clearly in the past attempted to repair the roof with clear plastic which was hanging down in ragged sheets. Then the smell hit him. The last time had been when he had found Ianto bound, gagged and beaten in the hands of a mad man cannibal. He looked at Ianto who was shaking and struggling to breathe as his face drained of all blood. He needed to get Ianto out of there now.

Ianto turned as another thunderclap shook the whole building. Looking around in panic, he ran to the entrance but never made it, and collapsed to the ground.

Jack watched in horror as he tried to catch Ianto. He didn't make it and they fell awkwardly as he hit with a thump striking his head on the ground.

"Ianto," Jack shouted as he pulled his body off the floor cradling him. "NO!", he screamed as he realised Ianto was unconscious and Owen's words crashed down him. Rocking Ianto he pulled his body in as close as he could. 'No, no, no, no' over and over again screamed in his mind as he panicked not sure what he should do. He shouted at him, "I need you Ianto, I love you, don't leave me, not like this!" Instinctively he kissed Ianto trying to will as much of his life force into him as he could. After a few moments he felt Ianto stir, and open his eyes as he did he broke down and sobbed.

Several terrible seconds passed when he Ianto lifted his face and looked at him. Relief flooded through him and as he then kept hold of him he fiercely kissed every part of his face.

"Oh god Ianto," he said shaking as he held on to him.

Ianto reached up and touched Jack's face. "Get me out of this place," he said in staggered breaths.

Realising whatever was going on for Ianto was not over, he helped him stand. Then he took off his coat and placed it around his shoulders and led him outside. The rain had eased and sky was becoming much lighter. Guiding Ianto to the car they paused as Ianto threw up. Seeing and feeling that Ianto was moving further into shock he opened the car door and he got him seated. Clicking in his seat belt, Ianto closed his eyes then put his head between his knees as he fought to slow his breathing.

Moving with speed Jack jumped in the driver's side and started the car.

"We've left the picnic stuff," Ianto croaked.

"Fuck the picnic things," Jack cried out in frustration "I need to get you home, safe," he said as he saw the look on Ianto's face, turning up the car heater too full he took off with as much speed as he could.

-@-

Jack slammed their front door open and helped Ianto over to the sofa. Racing into the bedroom he ripped the duvet off the bed and wrapped it around him bringing his feet up as Ianto curled into himself and broke down into deep sobs.

Watching as Ianto broke down he struggled between comforting him and doing what he needed to do. Right now he must continue to treat Ianto for shock so moving quickly he put the kettle on. While it heated he wrapped his arms around him as he felt Ianto shiver violently. Hearing the kettle boil he returned to the kitchen and made a cup of sweet tea. He moved the duvet aside and pulling Ianto's head up and put the cup to his lips. Ianto shook his head trying to push the cup away. 'I'll throw it up," he managed to gasp out.

"Then I'll make another one," Jack told him. Lifting the cup to his lips, he saw him take a sip then gag. Placing the cup on the coffee table he went back in the kitchen and got a bucket and placed it on the floor. Picking up the cup again he put it to Ianto's lips who took a cautious sip.

After several sips he felt under the duvet and felt Ianto had warmed slightly but was still shivering. Without warning Ianto grabbed the bucket and threw up, there was nothing left in his stomach but he still heaved.

"Please don't leave me Jack, I'll can control this," he said tears running down his face looking at Jack.

"What!" Jack said startled at Ianto's statement.

Ianto looked at him struggling to speak between sobs.

"Please- don-'t leave- me," he repeated.

Jack put down the cup and wrapped his arms around Ianto. "Will you please tell me what is going on for you, it's eating me up inside watching you in such pain all the time, please please let me in?"

"And see you walk away," Ianto told him stricken.

Jack looked at directly taking his hands, "I am not going anywhere Ianto, my place is here with you and nothing you say can change that."

"I've had to cope so long with this on my own," he said still struggling to breathe.

"Ianto I'm here for you," Jack told him looking directly into his eyes.

"You don't understand Jack." Ianto broke down again.

"Then have me understand," Jack pleaded as he wrapped his arms around Ianto.

Ianto looked at him terror written deep in his eyes. Ianto took his hand and kissed it.

"Jack I risk losing everything I value most in this world, I risk losing you," he said between sobs.

"Oh Ianto, my darling Ianto, you will never lose me," he said.

Ianto closed his eyes and began to speak softly. "Part of me trusts you utterly Jack. I look at you and I think this man loves me," his breath caught. "But another part tells me that at any minute for whatever reason you're gonna be gone. It's like I have this...this huge hole here," he pointed to his chest. "It's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and no matter how hard I try to ignore that feeling, I look at you and know you are going to be gone, maybe not today not tomorrow, but one day I will just wake up and you'll be gone."

Jack listened and he felt the words slam into his soul shouting out his betrayal.

"I've tried to control this Jack, I have fought it with every ounce of strength I possess, there have been days when it was so bad I wanted to end it all, and the only thing that kept me here, the only difference was you." He took a deep breath. "So what you are asking me to do is risk the only anchor I have."

Taking both Ianto's hands in his he looked deep into his eyes, tears flowing down his face as Ianto broke down again.

Jack hugged him. "I love you Ianto, I am not sure what more I can say, or do. I will never leave you willingly now or in the future. There is nothing I would not do or say to prove that love." He moved back and pulled Ianto's face so he was looking at him. "But for us to move forward you have to tell me and as a couple we have to face what is going on together."

Ianto looked up and took a deep breath, closed his eyes then opened them and looked directly at Jack and began to speak hesitantly.

As Jack listened he realised he was in the presence of perhaps the most courageous person he had ever met. How Ianto had managed to make it through each day was astounding to him. He had sat in that office with him all this time and never had a clue. One thing he was relieved about was that Ianto was not bulimic. He was throwing up because the panic attacks were so severe, it caused him to vomit. However it was clear Ianto was living with a level of anxiety that was unacceptable and there had to be some way to help him with this.

"And today?" Jack asked quietly as held Ianto close to his chest.

"I've have this recurring nightmare." He shuddered in remembrance, "I'm in this room filled with shoes and shit, there are human bodies wrapped in plastic hanging from the ceiling and a fridge," he gulped, "full of hacked off feet." He struggled to breathe and he paused, after a few moments he began to speak again. "Next thing I'm trussed up and gagged in terrible pain, out of the corner of my eye I see this blade as and it hacks into my neck." He looked directly at Jack. "When I saw where I was I can't explain, it was like it like my dream had become real."

"Ianto how long have you had this dream?" Jack asked as he shuddered at the horrific images and what they represented.

"Months, along with the others," Ianto admitted quietly.

"Are all of them as disturbing?" Jack asked shocked at their vivid nature.

"Mostly, but some are more fun," he smiled looking at Jack shyly.

"Really?" Jack asked as a flicker of a smile crossed his face.

"Yeah," Ianto admitted blushing slightly. "And I can say is they have included some innovative things, one could time with stop watch." He looked at Jack. "And you."

Jack kissed him and took a deep breath, "You passed out Ianto tell me about that?" Jack asked him.

Jacks eyes widened as Ianto told him this was not the first time, it happened when ever his anxiety reached a certain level he blacked out but always came to feeling better, and his heart leapt in fear.

-@-

Standing in front of the apartment building Jack punched in the numbers of Owen's cell phone number. He looked up at the window as heard it ring. Ianto was asleep and he wanted to talk to Owen in private but he had to do this quickly. The one thing he didn't want was for him to wake up and he not be there.

He heard Owen reply and with clipped speech he told him about the events of the day and the full extent of what Ianto had shared with him.

After he finished speaking he heard a brief silence followed by a string of expletives.

"Fuck Jack," he heard Owen say, "these are what's called a disassociated fugue. How many times does he say this has happened to him?" He asked

"Four for sure maybe more" Jack told him.

"Four maybe more, fuck Jack this is serious shit," Owen told him as tried to hold on to his own panic.

"What the hell is a disassociated fugue?" Jack asked.

"It's a form of emotional short circuit, if the brain gets overloaded it shuts down," Owen advised.

"Shuts down," Jack spluttered.

"It's not good Jack," Owen advised.

"I had that figured," Jack retorted "Is there any way we can help with the anxiety?" Jack asked him.

"Absolutely, I can prescribe him something right now and fax it to the university pharmacy." Owen told him categorically.

"Do it, " Jack told him. "It's clear his nightmare images are memories. I want to tell him, disclose everything, I think it will help, but I need to know what I can expect if I do.

Owen took a moment to think. "I agree, he needs to know, but I'm not sure there is the right place, my instincts are to get him back here, then we can tell him, in what will be in a controlled environment."

Closing his eyes, Jack asked softly, "Is that what we most feared?"

"Jack, I have no idea, this could be solely linked to the anxiety, it's rare but not unknown, I'll be honest I don't know," Owen replied honestly.

Jack let out a deep breath. "Expect us in two days," he said closing his phone.

***

Chapter 22

Standing by his desk Ianto sorted through the journals and books he was returning to the library. He had no idea how long they would be gone and it was important they were returned. He counted to check he had captured all of them, and then he took a drink from his coffee mug draining it.

Jack, who was going through his desk, looked at his watch and stood up. "Ok I have to see the Dean, and then there are a few other details I have to attend to. I'll be gone about three hours," Jack told him.

Ianto smiled as Jack moved over and embraced him, "I need to drop these back to the library and then I'll get back finish packing and empty the fridge," he told Jack.

"Don't forget to pack my wooden puzzle box, it's on my beside table." Jack reminded him as he saw Ianto give him a thumbs up. "Ianto I love you, we will get through this I promise," he said as he gave him a longing kiss.

"I love you Jack," Ianto said to him as he left. Jack blew him a kiss as he disappeared out the door.

Checking the room he quickly straightened a few papers, then taking the almost empty coffee flask he hurried to the small kitchen down the hall. There he emptied the dregs into the sink then rinsed it out.

Returning to the office, he placed the now clean empty flask on the coffee stand and pulled out the plug from the wall. Picking up the stack of journals and books he placed them outside the door pushing his foot against them as the threaten to fall over. Leaning in to the office he turned out the light, closed the door and locked it. He picked up the journals shifting their weight to make them easier to carry. He was not sure how he felt, shaky and excited, but hopeful. Ianto was not sure he fully trusted events, and he felt a niggle of fear start to churn his stomach. 'Keep focused' he told himself, 'focus on the task at hand, return the journals and books,' He repeated to himself.

"Finished with them already? That was quick work even for you Ianto?" Mary asked as Ianto approached the Journal counter and placed the unruly stack he was carrying onto the top.

"I am going to Cardiff for a while, a few weeks," Ianto advised keeping his comments strictly to the point. He was in no mood for her usual sexual innuendos. The medication prescribed by Owen and Jack's support were helping and he had reached a fragile equilibrium. Mary was the last test of the day then he could get back to the flat.

"Cardiff. How wonderful," she said as she started to gather the large number of books and journals Ianto had placed on the counter into order.

"Thank you," Ianto replied assisting her to sort through the journals, relieved she had not launched into her usual suggestive comments about him and Jack.

"You must be looking to forward seeing it again and all your friends,." she said.

"Only been there twice; visited it once with my dad years ago," he started to say then looked at her confused. "Sorry, friends?" he repeated.

"Yes, all your Torchwood friends, bet they'll be so pleased to see you," Mary told him.

"Not sure I'm that happy you for Ianto, my Jim tells me you Torchwood lot are considered a strange bunch and you seem so nice," she said, not looking up from her task.

"Strange lot?" Ianto repeated his mind reeling.

"Do you remember when the Captain first turned up here, I recognised him. Remember I said at the time I knew that man from somewhere. I told my husband Jim, who as you recall worked in Wales as a policeman a few years ago, said I was right. He was Captain Jack Harkness , from Torchwood Cardiff. " She rattled on oblivious to the effect of her words on Ianto. "Now let me see apart from the notorious Captain, there's some stroppy Doctor Owen something, some Asian bit, and an ex copper Gwen Cooper and you the nice quiet one." Pausing she saw the look of total confusion on his face.

"You are Ianto Jones their missing person," she glanced at him then laughed misreading his expression, "course you are. All I can say is the photograph on that letter did you no credit, you are much more handsome in person. Well you know the rest: Captain waltzes in here, demanding this, wanting that, memo's flying about, next thing your seconded and we must give him every...."

"MARY," Rosemary interrupted loudly as she walked up behind Mary, "I think you've said enough."

Ianto startled as Mary jumped and looked to see Rosemary, fury written on every line of her face.

"What is she talking about!" Ianto spluttered as Rosemary looked at Mary then looked at Ianto.

"Ianto you need to discuss this with Captain Harkness," she told him glaring at Mary.

" She said you had a letter about me a photograph and memo's " Ianto struggled to say.

"You really need to discuss this with Captain Harkness" she repeated

"If there is information about me, then I have every right to see it, Now!" he demanded.

Rosemary shifted uncomfortably, she cursed to herself, she should never have kept them but being the meticulous person she was she had filed them.

"They are confidential Ianto, copies from months ago..." she tried to explain.

"Are you refusing to show me information which has been passed around to everyone in this department?" Ianto interrupted her shaking with anger.

"I think you had better come with me," she said lifting up the counter top to give him access to the back areas as he followed her to his office.

"I am so sorry Ianto, Mary has spoken completely out of turn," she told him, as she opened the filing cabinet which held his personnel records. She came across his file and opened it, flicking through she pulled out several sheets of paper and held them out to him. Taking the offered sheets he spun on his heel and left the room.

Making his way into furthest corner of the journal section Ianto put his head against the stack of journal caddies, his hands shaking. With some effort he brought his breathing under control and moved to a study desk. Standing he spread out the papers he held in his hand.

He took a look at the first one, and examined the photograph. It was attached to a simple letter, with a date of birth and some other personal details asking if the university could confirm he, Ianto Jones, was working there and was signed T Sato.

The second, the email trail, was more problematic, and he felt himself reel, as he scanned the contents. It was a confidential email conversation which stated who Jack was, who Ianto was. Apparently he was a Torchwood operative who had gone missing due some kind of accident. There must be some confusion, he sort of worked for Torchwood now but only in the broadest sense and his memory was just fine. He had never heard of the organisation until Jack had told him after his return from those missing days. If he read this correctly the University had initially refused to release him from his role. Jack had in blunt terms explained why this had to be and to not approach Ianto about the reasons for his secondment. All and any discussion was to be directed to Jack. The fact it was an open secret disturbed him greatly, it was clear he had been the subject of some gossip, and he felt hot with embarrassment.

He used every ounce of control he had to remain calm. Jack was the only person who could explain. He swallowed stood up and reached into his jacket pocket for his cell phone. As he searched his pocket an image of it on his bed side table came to him and he cursed, picking up the sheets he headed for the exit.

With shaking hands he unlocked the door of their apartment, and went into the bedroom. A suit case was half packed on the top of the bed, and with one sweep of his arm it crashed to the floor. He pulled out the sheets from his pocket and spread them out on the bed and turned to pick up his cell phone, but it was not on the bed side table as he thought. He went down on his knees to see if it was under the bed. A quick look determined it was not. Ianto put his head into his hands as the control he had exerted in the library began to slip. He moved around the bed to see if it was on Jack's side but it was not there either. He stood and closed his eyes as the anxiety began building into a full blown attack. In his panic he spun around and his hip knocked the wooden puzzle box Jack kept on his side of the bed and it hit the floor with ominous crack.

He felt sick, it was one of Jack's most treasured possessions; the final straw today would be if it was damaged. Picking it up he swiftly ran his hands over the smooth silky wood to check, As he did he felt something shift and to his amazement the top came off and fell on the floor.

-@-

"I've sorted out the office with the Dean, told him we will be back in," Jack called out as he headed to the bedroom, "about a mon..." He stopped mid-sentence as he opened the door to see Ianto, whose face was etched with misery and pain as he held the bigger of the two journals. On the bed in front of him were the contents of the box along with the substantial red folder.

"Ianto," he tried to say but Ianto interrupted him.

"What is Retcon?" Ianto asked looking up at Jack.

"We need to talk," Jack said.

"What's Retcon Jack?" Ianto asked him again more strongly.

"It's a compound that destroys memories," Jack told him as he tried to move towards Ianto but stopped when Ianto raised his hand to stop him.

"So according to this," he held up the open journal, "I took a massive dose of this drug or compound as you call it to forget you. I then moved up here, severing all ties with my past." He said haltingly as he struggled to order his thoughts. "And I created some kind of fiction to fill in the gaps," he said slowly pointing to the red folder.

He looked at Jack, "So knowing the truth you let me stand by that river while I poured out my heart to you about losing Lisa like some idiot. When according to this you killed her because she was half converted into some metal monster who wanted to turn us into cybermen whoever the fuck they are."

Jack took a breath, "Your grief for Lisa is real," he started to say but Ianto interrupted him.

"The journal is in my hand writing, I recognize myself in the photograph, and this," he pointed to the stop watch then held up the journal. "So this is either an elaborate fake or it's real."

"How I feel about you is real," Jack told him trying to remain calm as his heart raced out of control.

"And do you want to know what makes this worse Jack? Is that those bloody nosy interfering women in the library knew." He picked up the sheets on the bed that Rosemary had given him and threw them at Jack.

Jack picked them up as they landed near his feet; glancing at them over briefly he looked appalled. "How many more people in this University knew about me? Have you any concept of how small I feel right now, how humiliated?" Ianto demanded of him.

Jack shook his head unable to speak.

'All this time," he said raising his voice. "Have you any idea what I've suffered over the past months? I've told you only part of it , I've suffered , terrible headaches, images I couldn't make any sense of, that were so bad, I thought I was going mad. Now I find out that they're echoes from some other life I have no recollection of.'' He returned to the journal and opened to a particular page.

Jack remained silent, his face twisted with emotion.

"From what I've read, I gave you everything I had to give, but then you ran off with some bloke without a word," he stuttered "And just before that you had some kind of liaison with another bloke in the 1940's. The man I found in the archives, Captain Jack Harkness. How the hell does that work Jack? How the hell could you have an affair with some bloke from the 1940's anyway?"

"Please Ianto." Jack tried to interrupt as he recovered his voice.

"According to this I wanted a new life, a new start and you followed me here. Why Jack if you so loved me to follow me here, h, h how come you ran off in the first place with this these other bloke-blokes, were they somehow more worthy than I was, did I not give you enough of my soul to you that you felt you could come up here and take the rest?," he said tears running down his face.

"Ianto not telling you how I felt before I left was the biggest mistake of my life," Jack tried to explain.

"So that's what I am, a mistake," Ianto said miss- hearing. "So you thought you knew what was best for me? This whole time you knew the truth and you just let me continue in this nightmare existence."

" You were never a mistake, they are all mine," Jack said loudly as she struggled to deal with each new statement.

"My existence over the past months has been hell. I've been tormented by my feelings for you. Watching you, being around you, and you never said one word to put me out of my misery. You could have let me know how you felt. Do you know how hard it was, what I had to go through before I could even contemplate being with you?" He broke down but as he saw Jack approach him he indicated he should remain where he was. Wiping his face dry he took a deep shuddered breath then pointed to the objects on the bed. "These are all mine, do you have anything else of mine?" he demanded.

Jack pulled up his sleeve and with trembling hand removed the watch, "I love you Ianto, there is so much I need to tell you, to explain," Jack said sobbing each word as tears ran down his face as he handed over the watch.

Ianto turned it over in his hand then added it alongside the other objects on the bed.

Ianto looked at him, "Jack, I don't even know your real name. I mean if you love me why you would not trust me with that?"

"Oh Ianto," Jack said as he saw a realization grow on Ianto's face as he rubbed the back of his neck as he now stood and pointed at Jack.

"This is this one year thing, the big thing that you wouldn't share with me. While I was going mad with fear and worry for you, when I didn't know if you were dead or alive.

Did you and the rest of them down at Torchwood spend a week having a good laugh at Ianto the man with the fake life?" He demanded angrily

"That is not what happened Ianto," Jack struggled to say now desperate to get Ianto to hear him, "Ianto you are my heart and soul. I made a terrible mistake, I should have told you how I felt, I'm sorry I've done this all wrong."

"Sorry? Before or after you ran off with this Doctor of yours or your evening with the real Jack Harkness?" Ianto asked him.

"Please let me explain," he begged.

"The year's not up yet Jack wasn't that the deal?" Ianto told him angrily.

"Ianto there is so much more to this than what's written in that Journal, there is so much more to this you need to understand."

"Oh I understand about the part time shag tea boy, pathetically in love with his boss. So in love he was prepared to accept any scrap of attention or affection you deemed to throw his way," Ianto said breaking down.

Remaining silent, Jack cried openly as Ianto delivered each devastating statement.

"Why if you loved me so much, did you allow me to feel so worthless that I wanted to destroy all my memories of you?"

" No wonder I was the only person in Torchwood who had the necessary requirements for this project," he paused as a realization came to him. "This project, this research that's just a hoax isn't it?" he said his eyes widening in shock.

Jack grabbed Ianto's arms not able to endure anymore, "Ianto I love you, I treated you very badly. All this time I've been up here all this time trying to put things right," he shouted back trying to put his arms around him.

"A bloody hoax, all that work I have put into this, Jack, a hoax, how could you!" he shouted back struggling to free himself.

"This project is not a hoax it is a real project of real value, I made sure of that," Jack argued back trying to explain.

"You made sure of it," Ianto replied sarcastically.

"I would never do that to you, never," Jack replied adamantly still trying to hold on to him.

"What do you mean?" Ianto demanded finally freeing himself.

"I would never have you waste your time, this project had to be real," Jack told him.

"Unlike everything else, after all the lies, that had to be real," Ianto said in disgust making his way to the door, "I need to get away from you."

"No, Ianto there is so much I need to tell you," Jack said as he stood in the doorway desperately trying to prevent him from leaving.

He pushed against him. "Let me go," he growled.

Jack grabbed him by the arms again. "Promise me you will hear me out, that's all I ask."

'Jack I need air, I need to think," he said as he struggled free.

"Ianto, I am begging you, please hear me out," Jack shouted after him.

Ianto paused for a moment as he listened to Jack's plea then left the apartment slamming the door.

-@-

Ianto completed a third circuit around the lake, as he tried to make sense of the chaotic thoughts that were still racing through his mind. He stopped and looked up at his apartment window. Turning his back he stood and leaned into a tree looking down across the lake to the café. Its lights reflected on the surface and he could see there were closing up for the day. He felt a slightly calmer; however part of him felt numb, another was angry, another just wanted to run back and hug Jack, another wanted to punch him in the face.

Walking had really helped but he still struggled to understand there was just too much. Suddenly a thought came to him; what if he divided everything into two periods before and after?

As he did this he realized there two Ianto Jones. He had a sense of the other Ianto; he had been hurt and hurt badly. When he was reading the diary his feelings clearly recollected the painful longing, betrayal and its devastating effects even though he could not remember a single incident. It was clear he had suffered a broken heart and done a desperate thing.

He took deep breath as a realization came to him so if there were two Ianto's then there had to be two Jacks. One was the bloke in the book, the other was his Jack. God this was complicated and his head hurt.

Reading the journal explained his fear of Jack running off and leaving him. The trouble was he had no recollection of that other Jones or Jack. His feelings certainly did and he felt overwhelmed. His feelings had taken over as he read the diary as he understood its implications. Wow he thought his thoughts were going around in circles.

Two Jacks, Two Jacks... let's start with what he knew, his Jack. His Jack was his best friend. He made love to him, held him in the dark, kissed him and who had pledged his love to him. His voice was his anchor and his touch grounded him.

Then there was the other Jack, Jack the bastard. Jack the bastard came on to everyone and had had an affair, then ran off with some bloke called the Doctor. Had his Jack ever shown interest in any one other than him? He closed his eyes as he thought long and hard. No, he couldn't think of a single instance.

His Jack was a considerate and gentle lover not letting him rush ahead, preparing him for each step forward in their physical relationship. He made sure he experienced maximum pleasure and enjoyment at every stage. He closed his eyes as he remembered their first time together; it had been incredible like a honeymoon. He could not recollect a more romantic or erotic experience. 'Well that's not surprising is it?' he told himself, 'If your life was the other Ianto.' Well there was nothing like it in the journal, Jack the bastard had never treated his Ianto to anything like it. The pages were full of shagging and desperation as if offering his body was an acceptance of something was better than nothing. He had enjoyed it by all accounts but at times it had hurt physically and emotionally because that's all there was.

So why had Jack not declared himself when he first turned up as he had accused him? What would his reaction had been if some stranger and Jack had been that when he first turned up and told him how he felt? He would most likely have run a mile. Had he come on to him, he would have screamed sexual harassment. It had taken him a while to sort out his sexual feeling towards Jack and he had to admit the nice dreams had helped here. He had never felt that way before with another bloke, still didn't, it was just Jack. Had that been why Jack had not acted until recently, he was scared if he declared how he felt and Ianto wasn't ready he might blow it? He smiled himself, 'Well there was a word that had taken a whole new level of connotation recently.'

Jack said he had made a mistake. He closed his eyes to recall what Jack had shared with him as he had said goodbye to Lisa. He gulped, 'Lisa, that one was too big', and decided to put it aside for now, but when he thought about it, saying good bye that day felt right still did, because he wanted to move on.

He brought his thoughts back to Jack's words. He had told him he had let someone down badly. He had not recognized his own feelings until it was too late. That person had had committed a form of suicide and his biggest regret was that person never knew how important he was to them because he had been a fool. A thought hit him and the world swayed as he took hold of the tree steady himself. 'ME he was talking about me.'

The monumental revelation swept through him like physical wave and he sank to the ground and put his arms around his legs then rested his head on his knees. He could feel his thoughts stitching together as all the fragments of meaning from the past months melded. The look on Jack's face that first visit to the Henge that told him Jack has lost someone important. Tosh comments on how devastated Jack had been when he had lost him. Another remnant came to him, 'my biggest regret was they never knew important they were to me, I never told I love them', every longing look thrown his way, every gentle touch, on his back, shoulder, arm, smile, his lips on Jack's, sweet whispers in the dark, waking up in his arms.

Ianto broke down and began to cry. All this time he had been here because of him. How hard had this been for Jack? It must have been torture just being in the same room with him and not be able to say anything. Wiping his face dry with the sleeve of his shirt he stood up.

He looked up at the apartment. Jack was there, right now. Jack said he had been trying to put this right. Ianto shivered, now he needed to put a few things right himself as his terrible words came to him. Standing he hurried back to their apartment.

"Jack!" Ianto called out as he opened the door to the apartment. As the door swung open he stepped on something, he bent down to pick it up, and saw the place was a wreck. The book case was smashed; books, DVD's, CD's and his graphic novel collection were scattered across the room. The coffee table was in pieces, the sofa was turned upside down.

"Jack!" he called out in panic as he raced through the apartment. He saw his cell phone on the floor, he picked up, flipped it open, he put his finger on the 9 button when a glow began to fill the room.

He stepped back, not sure what the hell was going on, as he watched the glow grew and the strange man who had turned up at the café that afternoon and kissed Toshiko appeared.

"Ianto, I know where Jack is," he announced.

Ianto stood his mouth open his fingers frozen on the buttons of his cell phone.

"Where is Jack?" He demanded as he moved threatingly towards the man he recognized as John Hart.

"Don't panic, Jack sent me, there is something I need to tell you, Jack's brother Gray..." he tried to explain as he moved backwards away from Ianto almost tripping over some debris.

Curling his lip Ianto moved towards. "What have you done with him?" he said slowly.

"I had to give him Jack, I managed to escape, but I know where Jack is," he said desperately trying to explain as he saw the murderous look on Ianto's face as he moved towards him.

He showed Ianto his arm and pulled up his sleeve and exposed an object fused into his skin. "He had me jumping to his every command," he started to say when suddenly he cried out in pain then began to peel the thing off his arm. In horror Ianto watched as raw flesh was exposed as he pulled the device off his forearm.

"It's a bomb," he held it up in front of him; "if I hadn't done what he said he would have killed me." John explained as he threw it to the ground.

"Where's Jack?" Ianto demanded again.

"Gray, Jack's brother, he's taken him back in time," John tried to explain.

Ianto wide eyed edged away from John, quickly scrolled through the speed dial of his cell phone. Keeping his eyes fixed on John he started speak quickly trying not trip over the words, "Tosh, It's Ianto, this is going to sound like I'm mad, but that strange man you know has appeared out of thin air , he says he taken Jack and he has bomb on his arm."

"Had a bomb, had a bomb," John shouted out. "Oh we don't have time for this," he said as he pushed a sequence of buttons on his wrist strap, then taking a running leap, he grabbed Ianto around the waist in a tackle and they both dissolved in a haze of orange light.

"Ianto, repeat did you say John Hart and he has a bomb," Tosh said into her cell phone as she saw an orange light appear by the water tower in the Hub. As it did Owen and Gwen headed towards the light as Ianto and John Hart materialized in a heap.

"What the fuck!" Owen shouted out as he moved towards the pair as they both struggled to stand.

Standing first Ianto punched John Hart connecting with jaw and knocking him to the ground. "What have you done with him?" he screamed as John who scrambled to his feet and backed up as Ianto launched himself at him again. John side stepped as he tried in an effort to keep on his feet.

"Where is he? If you have hurt him, I am going to rip you limb from limb," he screamed at John lashing out with his fist again.

Owen and Gwen now reached Ianto and grabbed his arms in an effort to restrain him. "He's got Jack," Ianto screamed at Gwen and Owen who with difficulty struggled to hold Ianto as moved towards John. John spat out blood and moved backwards keeping well out of reach.

Tosh, seeing the struggle raced to join them; standing in front of Ianto she placed both her hands on his chest, and then braced herself leaning into him with all her strength.

"Ianto," Tosh demanded, "calm down and tell us what is going on?" as she felt him make a small movement forward.

"He's- got- Jack," Ianto grunted out each word straining against the combined force of Owen Gwen and Tosh who were struggling to contain him.

"Woh there lover boy," John Hart said but immediately regretted it as he saw Ianto almost struggle free. Seeing Ianto's fury at his words he stepped up to the workstation level.

"Not helping John," Tosh shouted at John as she used all her strength into holding Ianto back.

"What is going on?" Tosh repeated in short breaths.

"It's Gray Jack's brother they were separated as brothers. He was taken by these horrible creatures that lived to torture, when I found Gray he was chained to a wall, the creatures long gone. He thought I was the hero for rescuing him," John tried to explain. "I didn't realize how twisted he was inside until it was too late, he placed a bomb on me and if I didn't do what he said he would blow me up," he took a breath. "He made me kidnap Jack. He's going to inflict on him the same terrible torture he endured and you know what that means for Jack." John explained.

"So you just took him?" Ianto shouted at him as fear gripped his insides at John's words.

"I had no choice!" John shouted back.

"There's always a choice," Ianto shouted moving one step forward dragging Owen, Gwen with him pushing Tosh almost upright.

"Look I could have gone anywhere, anytime any when, but Jack asked me to find Ianto and give him a message," John desperate to explain as he saw the effort it was taking to hold Ianto back.

"Explain," Gwen said through her teeth. "Quickly," she screamed at him.

"He says, he's sorry and that he loves you and he was just trying to make things right and to make sure you know he hasn't just left you," he added rolling his eyes as if embarrassed to say the words out loud. He looked around the group. "And I made a promise that I would keep you safe," he said looking at Ianto.

"Safe," Ianto repeated confused.

"Safe from Gray. Gray told Jack he going to rip his world apart, if he finds out about Ianto there is no knowing what he might do to him," he explained to the group.

"This is not like you John, what is really going on," Gwen said still keeping a firm grip on Ianto who is now standing glaring at John shaking and breathing heavily.

"Matter of honour," he advised quietly.

"What?" Tosh spat back at him.

"Matter of honour," John shouted back at her.

"Look I know where and when Jack is," John told them as Owen and Gwen now cautiously let go of Ianto who is still glaring at John.

"You alright mate?" Owen asked putting his hand on Ianto's chest as he sees Ianto nod. Tosh threw her arms around him in a huge hug.

"Where the fuck am I?" Ianto asked as he looked around as Tosh hugged him

"Welcome to Torchwood," Owen said.

***

Chapter 23

"What!" Ianto burst out. "Torchwood, Cardiff."

"As hard to believe but that is where you are," Owen explained.

"How?" Ianto stammered.

John brought up his wrist. "Love my little wrist strap," he said raising his eyebrows.

"And how are you my little Rose, you know I'm ready to repeat any time you and me it was sooo good," he said but was interrupted by Tosh.

"This is not the time or place John," she told him then looked around and gave him a shy look.

"Oh God," Owen groaned as he saw the look pass between them.

"Ianto, are you alright mate?" Owen repeated looking at him.

"Owen, I've just had an almighty row with Jack. All kinds of shit hit the fan He's been kidnapped, and so have I. You're telling me I've travelled hundreds of miles in the blink of an eye. " He threw a filthy look at John Hart,"I've just tried to kill someone with my bare hands. If a pig flew by I would not be surprised." He was interrupted as Myfanwy flew overhead screaming out her welcome cry as she saw Ianto. As she flew overhead he ducked slightly.

"Would you settle for a flying dinosaur?" Owen offered as he heard Ianto let out an expletive.

"I think we had all better sit down and do some serious explaining," Tosh said holding onto Ianto's arm.

"No shit, Sherlock," Owen burst out as Ianto grasped his arm and put his other one around Tosh.

Owen smiled as he walked beside Ianto. His first demand was they prove he was in Cardiff.
A walk around the Plass confirmed that he was. Then he was given a quick tour of the Hub. Owen was amazed at how well Ianto was doing considering Jack's description of his mental state. Right now he appeared to be taking it all in his stride. The only time he had a negative reaction was when he introduced him to their resident weevil Janet. He asked Ianto about it but he wouldn't explain except to say the weevil was the stuff of nightmares. As they returned to the main area he led him into Jack's office and shut the door.

Ianto looked around trying to make sense of it all. "We need to have a candid talk," Owen began. "I know how much you hate talking about yourself." He held up his hand as he saw the look on his face. "I know how much you hate talking about yourself, but you need to be as upfront with me as you can be, Jack kinda filled me in, so I know about the anxiety, nightmares and blackouts and as your Doctor I need you to answer my questions honestly."

He saw Ianto nod as he realized the truth behind Owen's statement. "How much do you know and or remember?" He asked Ianto outright.

"I found my journal," he said taking a deep breath.

"How much of it did you read?" Owen asked.

"Bits here and there, enough," Ianto admitted very quietly.

"Ok, let's put that to one side for now, how much do you remember?" he asked seeing the distress on Ianto's face.

"Can you be more specific?" Ianto queried.

"Good point," Owen advised. "Before the date you took the Retcon?"

"Nothing," Ianto replied.

"Nothing?" Owen queried.

"I think what you are asking is do I remember any of you and this place," Ianto said as he saw Owen nod. "As far as I am concerned the first time I met you was in that doctor's office at the University. Tosh when she first came up to set up the computers. I have no idea who that woman was I just met, but I accept it's Gwen Copper."

"Jack?" Owen asked as he saw Ianto lift his hand to the back of his neck.

"When I first met Jack it was like I knew him, but couldn't place him. I had all these other f, f, feelings" he stuttered as he blushed, "and my grandfather's stopwatch and that was mixed with the other feelings and Jack." He explained as his blush deepened.

"Say no more," Owen said understanding implicitly.

Ianto continued. "As I said I found and read my journal, I recognized it as mine from the hand writing, but I had no recollection about any of the events except..." he paused.

"Except?" Owen encouraged.

"When I was reading it I was filled with all these emotions, anger, hurt, sadness, despair, all at the same time I can't explain it, but it was overwhelming," he said honestly.

"That I can explain." Owen told him as he saw a look of relief cross his face. "You took a compound called Retcon, which destroys memories," he explained.

"Like Rohypnol the date rape drug?" Ianto queried.

"In a crude sense, yes." Owen replied then went on to explain in some detail the basic effects and damage and consequences of the compound he had taken.

"So what I was feeling were emotional memories then," Ianto summed up as he saw Owen nod. So what happened in the journal was true then?" Ianto asked quietly.

"Look Ianto I'm going to be honest with you, I have no idea what's in it, but I will tell you this when Jack got his hands on it he was like a man possessed. He left here within hours of finding it and has not returned since," he saw Ianto was clearly upset. "What happened between you two? Last conversation I had with Jack you were both coming down here," he looked directly at Ianto, "I heard you say you had just had a terrible row."

Ianto looked ashamed, "I had just found the diary I said some things, some things I shouldn't, I stormed out the flat, by the time I got back Jack was gone," he started to explain clearly affected.

"Now I need to ask you about your anxiety, how are you feeling right now?' he asked changing the topic as he did not want to push Ianto if he was not ready to talk about what had happened.

"Not sure I trust events, as for the anxiety all I can say right now it's under control," he told Owen after several moments.

"Under control or are you suppressing it?" Owen asked.

"It's in the background, to be quite honest Owen I am feeling a bit tired," Ianto told him.

Owen looked at him and saw the truth in his statement; Ianto looked like he had just fought ten rounds of hell.

"You look knackered Ianto but there are a couple of important things you need to know about," he said soberly to Ianto as he opened his lap top.

"Owen enough about me! I have no fear for myself but what, how are, Jack, John Hart said he knew where and when, I need to..." he said as looked at Owen trying to express how he felt. "I need...," he struggled to say.

Owen sat down next to him. "What do you need Ianto," he asked softly seeing him struggle to get the words out.

"I need Jack," Ianto advised him quietly looking at Owen. "Somehow, he's been taken some where, when, which I still don't understand. I mean time is linear; we have no control over time. I'm not stupid, I've read Stephen Hawking, I understand some of the concepts and the math, so how can Jack be somewhere in time Owen? And how in God's name are we going to find and rescue him? Right now all I know is Jack is gone, taken by that bloody horrible excuse for a human being John Hart." He took a breath. "He said Jack's brother was going to inflict the same terrible torture on him he had had done to him. Which means he is in danger, alone, and ...I said some terrible things to him, so not only is he alone and suffering god knows what, he thinks I hate him," he continued before Owen could reply as he looked directly at him.

"And where do I fit into all this? I'll tell you what my biggest fear is, you lot won't let me be involved in helping to get Jack back. That you all think that somehow I'm too fragile or mentally unstable," he let out a deep breath. "If I was an operative here, then surely there something I can do? What I'm asking is don't make me sit on the side lines, because I'm telling you, I won't rest until Jack is safe. There is nothing I will not do to get him back , and if you won't help me Owen then you had better move out my way because I'm going after him, and I asking you not to stop me."

He saw Owen trying to formulate a response.

"So I don't really care what else you have to tell me about me," he pointed at the laptop, "what I want to know is what you, Tosh and Gwen are doing to help Jack, because I don't see a lot of urgency, I'm sitting here having some long conversation about my health when Jack is out there hurting, alone and thinking.... "

Owen interjected, "Thinking you hate him." He saw Ianto nod as he tried to work his way through all the questions Ianto had raised. "You know for someone who's not much of a talker you can really go for it," he said with a small smile.

"I've got a lot on my mind," Ianto replied honestly.

"All the questions and concerns you raise are all valid and there is no way I am going to try and answer all them tonight." He raised his hand as he saw Ianto was about to interrupt "You are exhausted Ianto, you look like a member of the living dead. So I am going to deal with a couple of the biggest and I will make sure you have answers to the rest tomorrow." He saw Ianto raise an eyebrow. "There are answers Ianto let me assure you, they will test your understanding of the world as you know it , but you will have those answers, deal?" he said, and he saw Ianto nod so he continued.

"Jack loves you, god knows why Ianto but he does, I could never see the attraction myself. Even the most cynical being in the universe can see the love you have for each other, you had an argument, as you said you had just found the journal, you had words?"

"They were more than words Owen, I said some terrible thing, things I shouldn't have said," Ianto told him.

"God why me? " Own groaned under his breath then sighed. "If you ask me over a pint sometime I will tell you about how I came to work here it's a long and sad tale. What I learnt out it was, Jack is an amazing individual whose capacity for forgiveness is almost infinite, it's like he's bigger on the inside than on the outside." He looked at Ianto who was clearly at the point of physical collapse and Owen wanted nothing more than to force feed him fat and calories and then get him to sleep for 36 hours but unless he dealt with this right now he knew Ianto would not rest until he did collapse.

"What were his last words to you?" Owen asked as he saw Ianto wince.

"He asked for an opportunity to explain," he said quietly.

"Did you say no?" Owen asked.

"I walked out," Ianto told him.

Owen decided to take another tack seeing this tack was not helping when he came to a realization.

"So to sum up, you had a fight, you said terrible things, he begged you to stay so he could explain, but you stormed out?" he said to Ianto.

"Yes," Ianto said not looking at Owen.

"Gawd help me, you know Ianto there are times when I really wish I had taken that course in couples counseling," he said shaking his head as Ianto looked at him confused.

"Look the circumstances are a little extreme I give you that, but you had a row, all couples have them, you should have heard Katie and me, you must have had them with Lisa. You say things, you storm out, you cool off, you go back sort it out and if I remember correctly it's usually followed up with great makeup sex," he saw Ianto's expression lift a little.

"Next item on the agenda: urgency," he said moving on quickly. "Give us a chance Ianto! It's been less than twelve hours since Jack was taken. Let me assure you we have a sense of urgency."

"And finally that leaves you. Only an idiot with a band of merry idiots is going to stand in your way. That said you need to watch out for Gwen. Gwen is a kind hearted person who will try and do the best for everyone as she sees it. So expect mothering and concern, she really does care for you very much. She can be outspoken but at least you will know where you stand with her and she does makes some good points at times which keep us on the straight and narrow. As for me Ianto, I make you a promise I will not stop you or stand in your way, but that comes with a proviso. There are things you need to know and understand about the Retcon you took, once you understand that Ianto, you're a grown man you don't have to justify your actions or motivations to anyone," Owen paused. "So are we all done for now?" he asked and saw Ianto nod in agreement as he stood.

"Thanks Owen." Ianto said as he stood and swayed slightly with fatigue.

"Come with me Ianto," Owen told him leading him down to Jack's quarters.

-@-

"Where is he?" Gwen asked as Owen joined her in the board room.

"Asleep," Owen told her, "he's exhausted, dead on his feet, I showed him to Jack's quarters and made up the cot, he was out before my foot hit the bottom rail."

"What a mess," Tosh said speaking for them all

"He's coped amazingly well," Gwen advised.

"Yeah, he has had to take a lot of information very quickly, just think this morning he was a research assistant in an isolated university, shacked up with his boss and by nightfall he's fallen down the rabbit hole," Owen said.

"Rabbit hole?" Tosh said shaking her head not sure she understood the reference.

"Alice in Wonderland," Owen told her as he saw her nod in understanding.

"Where do we go from here?" Tosh asked wearily.

"Er, hello," a voice said from the other end of the board room. They all turned to see John Hart who was sitting his legs stretched out, his feet on the table, looking at his fingernails.

"As I have been trying to say, I know where and when Jack is," he said, "and I know how to get him out, but I have a feeling getting Jack out of there is going to be the easy bit, the difficult bit..."

"Easy bit?" Gwen interrupted.

"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," he continued as he threw a dark look at Gwen, "getting Jack out will be the easy part. The difficult part will be to keep lover boy from any heroics." He lent forward, "because if one hair on his head gets damaged Jack will kill me."

"What do you care what happens to Ianto?" Gwen asked sarcastically.

"You can't think of one reason why I would care?" he said in reply staring at her.

"Well we could try stop him keep him here," Gwen said trying to recover.

"I don't think so Gwen," Owen snorted as he saw his thoughts reflected in Tosh's face. "Although it could be interesting to see you try," he told her.

"Ianto needs to be involved on every level." Tosh told her, "I think he had enough of people controlling his life, I think he should be given the choice." She saw Owen nod in agreement.

"Listen I am not trying to be the big baddie here," Gwen told them, "Ianto risks losing his life, has anyone told him about Jack's er," she glanced at John, "Jack's abilities."

"Oh, you mean that Jack can't die," John interrupted as he saw the shocked looks on their faces. "Let's just say I was witness to a demonstration recently and you really do need to get better security on your server."

"No," Owen replied. "I tried to tell him, but he wouldn't listen he told me if Jack had things to share that it was for him to do so."

"Great!" Gwen retorted "Pair of bloody fools the both of them."

Tosh nodded. "Oh I think that is the one thing we can all agree on," she said as they all stood to leave.

-@-

"You let me sleep how long?" Ianto said as he was led by Gwen into the board room to see Tosh waiting for him.

"Sit down and eat." Owen ordered as he placed an open pizza box in front of Ianto, followed by a full mug of coffee.

"You let me sleep for 21 hours," Ianto complained.

"Yeah well we needed all that time to prepare the answers to your questions," Owen told him, "you know you have quite a list."

"We've got another meeting directly after this one, working on that urgency issue you raised. So listen to Tosh, ask all and any questions and eat." Owen repeated his order he smiled to himself as he saw Ianto pick up a slice. As he took a mouthful as Tosh handed him a substantial print out filled with equations.

"Owen said you wanted to see the math," Tosh said to him as he licked his fingers and took the offered bound folder. "I was not sure how basic you wanted it, but I know you're good with figures, so if you want more let me know." She saw him open to the first page. "The first thing you need to know is there is a rift in time and space..."

Ianto listed with increasing incredulity, he was not sure what to make of Tosh's explanation.

If he understood correctly then it was possible to travel in time and space. Which apparently Jack had done with some bloke called a Time Lord. Before he met The Doctor he was a Time Agent from the 51st Century along with John Hart.

He recalled his conversation with Jack just after he had returned after being missing. There was an explanation Jack had argued but Ianto wouldn't believe him. Ianto had argued back saying that nothing could be that farfetched. Considering what he was now being told, he had to agree. Had Jack told him any of this he would have thought him mad and at worst mocking his distress to avoid telling him the truth. However here it all was in black and white and he could not argue with the calculations. He was deep in thought as he saw Owen head pop around the door.

"All set?" he asked and saw Tosh give him the thumbs up he looked up to Gwen, Owen followed by John Hart entered the board room.

"What is he doing here?" Ianto demanded.

"He knows where and when Jack is," Gwen told him calmly.

"You keep way from me," Ianto told him bluntly pointing at him as he saw him take a seat at the far end of the room.

"Let's get started," Gwen said indicating to John who stood up and pressed his wrist strap. As he did a detailed hologram of a small castle appeared on a small mound. In the back ground was a hill covered with a wood. A group of small buildings appeared to surround the castle and it was hard to tell if this was village or support buildings. A wooden palisade surrounded the buildings complete with large gate

"This is Castle Godwin in the year 999," he told them.

"Why, there and then?" Gwen asked the question they all wanted to know.

"Your guess is as good as mine, it's isolated, but I have a feeling the methods of torture were quite crude but creative and it mirrors Gray's history," he explained as he saw Ianto go pale.

"The aliens who took Gray are a rogue race known as the Sla-harg. They have no home planet that anyone can discern. They have a fleet of ships and roam around the galaxy. They take over a small planet then use it as a base to torture and destroy the local population. They appear to target the biggest and strongest beings first then work their way down. They typically choose low tech planets as they offer no resistance. No cruelty or depravation is considered out of bounds including genocide. It makes some events in 20th Century Earth history look like a picnic complete with roses and a concert."

"But you told us Jack and Gray came from a technologically advanced society," Tosh said.

"Yes that doesn't mean to say they wouldn't take advantage if the opportunity arose. Jack's colony was basically low tech," he explained.

"How did the colony survive if they kept getting attacked?" Ianto queried thinking this must had meant a horrible childhood for Jack.

"The Sla-harg moved on to set up base somewhere else. They are hated throughout the galaxy, Ianto real effort has gone into finding and destroying them. They are technologically advanced beyond anything we had in the 51st century to such an extent even The Shadow Proclamation and the Judoon have not managed to track them down. No one's ever seen one and all we really know about them is from the wreckage they leave behind, destroyed cultures, death mayhem and the occasional abandoned victim."

"Gray," Tosh said quietly.

"Gray," John reflected. "I found Gray chained on a ruined planet, thought I was hero for saving him. It was not until later he realized I knew Jack and I swear to all of you here I had no idea how twisted he was. He has this abiding hatred of Jack. He blames him for what happened and now wants revenge. As Jack was the favored son who got to live he says he is going to destroy Jack's life and everyone he ever cared about," he looked at Ianto.

"Where is Jack being held?" Ianto asked.

"One of two locations," John replied pushing a button on his wrist strap as he did two images appeared replacing the earlier hologram.

"The mound only looks like a hill when in fact it is a barrow," he saw Ianto raise his eyebrows, " or the castle dungeon. There is a passage way connecting the two," he told them.

Owen turned to Ianto, "Do you know what a barrow is?" he asked him.

"Yeah it's a Neolithic type burial site, it has chambers in it. They would leave a dead body on the mound, then when it was clean store the bones below in the chambers, an ossuary, skulls all together in one chamber, and so on"

"Charming," Owen commented.

"So, we use the thing on your wrist and the rift go back in time and rescue Jack," Ianto said thinking out loud.

Gwen interjected, "We?"

"Yes we," Ianto pointed to himself and to the group.

"With all due respect Ianto, I don't think that's such a good idea," she advised as she saw fury replace concern on his face.

"So you're going to sit here and do nothing," he burst out. "You're just going to leave him there."

"No, sweetheart I meant you being part of the 'we'. I mean you've just arrived back, you need to find your feet. Jack asked for you to be kept safe. I mean traipsing off one thousand years in the past ..." she trailed out at the combined disapproving looks of the others around the table. She took a deep breath knowing this was an opposing opinion. "I think it would be best if Ianto remained here as back up doing support. It was what you were best at," she told him.

Ianto stood and looked directly at Gwen who was sitting opposite him. "You think you can stop me?" He looked towards Owen for support.

Gwen stood, "I'm the current head of Torchwood, I had a long think about this and the best thing for you would be to remain here out of harm's way, there's plenty of other ways you can help."

"Best thing for me, out of harm's way," Ianto spluttered. "My lover is trapped a thousand years in the past going through hell and you are going to decide what's best for me?" Ianto said raising his voice pointing at his chest as he saw Gwen start to reply.

"Ianto has to come," John Hart interrupted as he looked directly at Ianto. "In fact my help is dependent on it."

"Dependent , that's blackmail," Tosh told him bluntly shocked.

"Blackmail it might me, but everything that happens moving forward is dependent on Ianto coming with me, I won't leave this base to rescue Jack without him," he told them.

"Why is it so important that Ianto come?" Owen asked suspiciously , thinking Ianto being included was one thing, but part of a bigger plan of John's was another and had trap written all over it.

"This is dark John even for you, this sounds like a set up," Gwen said. "One minute you are telling us you promised to keep Ianto safe and then you are telling us you won't help unless he accompanies you into unspeakable danger."

"There is no plan, no rescue, no moving forward without Ianto's direct involvement," he told them bluntly.

"But you told us Jack asked you to keep him safe, I thought that's what Jack had sent you back for?" Gwen spluttered.

"Ianto there is more to the message than Jack's assurances and my promise to keep you safe," he said ignoring Gwen, his eyes firmly locked on Ianto who returned his gaze.

"More to the message?" Ianto asked him his face still burning with fury at his altercation with Gwen and John's revelation

"Let's hear it then," Gwen demanded as she saw John shake his head.

"This is for Ianto only," John said swallowing as he looked at Ianto who returned his look.

"Jack told me I could trust you," he said a desperate edge to his voice keeping his eyes firmly fixed on Ianto's face. "Can I trust you to stand in a room alone with me knowing what I have done and hear what I have to say?"

John Hart felt his chest constrict as his heart skipped a beat, as he watched Ianto keep his gaze and work though his request. How ironic he thought that his whole life had come down to this finite moment. A moment based on the hope that Ianto was the man Jack believed him to be. He saw Ianto nod and indicate to the door nearest John.

Moving back from the table Ianto pointed to the glass paneled door that led to the corridor just outside the board room.

"Is this wise you did try to kill him?" Owen asked him as he caught his arm as he passed.

"The worst thing that could happen Owen is that I give into the incredible urge I have to kill him and for that very reason, I am making sure you can all see me and are quick enough to stop me if I do." he said as he passed.

-@-

Owen, Tosh and Gwen watched through the glass panels of the door as Ianto stood by the opposite wall to John, his hands on his hips and indicated John should start talking. John brought up his wrist strap and pressed a button as he looked back into the board room and smiled.

"Well there goes the sound on the CCTV footage," Tosh said stating the obvious as the conversation began with a great deal degree of hand waving on John's part as a dark look steadily grew on Ianto's face as he listened his arms crossed.

Ianto now replied along with equally animated arm gestures. John cut in speaking again with some passion and which ended with Ianto putting his hand to the back of his neck and rubbing it.

"I've been meaning to ask you Owen what's with the...?" Gwen asked as she mimicked the gesture.

"It means he's deep in thought," Tosh replied as Owen was forming his reply as she saw Gwen mouthed an 'oh' as they went back to watching the conversation.

John said something and Ianto moved forward and grabbed the front of his jacket almost lifting him off the ground. Owen started to stand, but Ianto let go and pushed John away in disgust. John staggered and caught his balance then proceeded to continue with what could clearly be described as pleading complete with a hand on heart gesture.

Several moments passed as John continued, very passionately then pulled Ianto around who pushed John's hand away. Ianto took over speaking with an equal number hand movements combined with eye rolling. The eye rolling and look on his face indicated he did not believe John and said something that looked suspiciously like 'prove it'.

John Hart looked around then asked Ianto to move in closer; as he did John whispered something in Ianto's ear. The effect was immediate, he turned brick red, then brought his hand to his face obviously embarrassed. John moved back and pulled a small jewellery shop box from inside his jacket except this one showed no resemblance of any that might be found on Earth and handed it over. Opening it Ianto was clearly affected, as John spoke at some length while Ianto caressed the contents, he then closed the box and they were both silent for a moment. Ianto now held out his hand and John shook it.

Now the conversation changed nature again as John spoke and Ianto reluctantly moved towards John who was gesturing him to come closer. The group was amused as it was clear it was now John's turn to look decidedly uncomfortable. They watched as John now hugged Ianto. They held the hug for a few moments until John slid his hand down on to Ianto's arse. Ianto just as swiftly moved it back to his waist. Then to everyone's astonishment they briefly touched lips and broke apart.

"Could this get any more weird," Owen burst out at the sight of the two of them kissing.

'God I think there's been forgiveness," Gwen said as Ianto and John rejoined them.

"What makes you think there's been forgiveness?" Ianto said sharply. "John's delivered his message and we have an understanding."

"An understanding?" Gwen queried.

"An understanding," John replied looking at Ianto who nodded.

"Right then John ,you said you knew how to get Jack out," Tosh said sternly.

"You know I love it when you get all bossy," John said giving her coy look and she bit her bottom lip.

"Oh god," Owen groaned as he saw the look between them.

-@-

Tosh and Owen pulled Ianto aside as the meeting broke for a short while to allow everyone to gather their senses.

"What the hell was that about?" Owen asked.

"What was in Jack's message and that box," Tosh interrupted excitedly indicating to the jewelry box in Ianto's hand.

"It was private and sort of jewelry," Ianto answered trying to thing how best to describe the contents held within the box.

"Ooh jewelry, who for? Can I see?" Tosh asked but before Ianto could reply Owen interrupted.

"And the conversation between you and John looked like it got pretty heated?" Owen asked frowning.

"Confidential." Ianto replied as Owen pulled Ianto further into the corner of the room.

"Look Ianto, Gwen is right; what's being proposed is very dangerous. Where you're going there is no safety net, no calling for the police or an ambulance if there's any trouble. You will have to rely on your own resources and whoever goes with you will have to cover your back in every capacity. Are you saying you now trust John Hart?" Owen asked candidly.

"No." Ianto's reply was emphatic. "We don't trust him, we watch him like a hawk."

"I'm confused," Owen said bluntly. "He told us he made an agreement to keep you safe. I don't see how dragging you into some plan of his, is going to do that. It's one thing for us to sit here and set up a plan to rescue Jack where we're in control," Owen indicated to the Torchwood Team. "I don't see how gallivanting off with John Hart fits any definition of safe?"

"Let's just say the definition of safe is being stretched a little," Ianto told them cautiously.

"Stretched?" Tosh repeated.

"There are lots of ways of keeping someone safe," Ianto replied not sure how he could explain this. "Jack asked John, to keep me safe in a more active manner."

"Active manner," Owen said not sure he fully understood.

"Like a body guard?" Tosh queried and saw Ianto nod.

"I think the exact words were," Ianto started to say but was interrupted. "Stick to him like glue," as John Hart completed the sentence joining them.

"Stick to me like glue," Ianto repeated the phrase.

"But you hate each other, he tried to kill you with his bare hands," Owen burst out looking at John.

"And that could still happen," Ianto warned John as he raised his eyebrows.

"See how this works Owen everyone gets to win, Jack gets to kill me if Ianto comes to any harm, and Ianto gets to kill me if I go back on my word."

"And I will kill you if you betray Jack and Ianto," Owen added.

"See it's a win, win, win situation," John told him.

"And what do you mean keep your word?" Tosh asked.

"Ok," Gwen interrupted. "Tell us about how we are going to do this," indicating they should all go back to the table.

"We have 36 hours left before the chronix matrix in my wrist band is fully charged and we can make a time jump," John told them.

"Not sooner?" Ianto asked.

"We're using rift energy to boost the recharge so we've cut down the time considerably," Tosh told him. "Even then we will need to divert some rift energy to boost the crystal, I'm setting the..."

"Stop, stop, stop," Owen said loudly looking at Ianto "Sorry mate but this has to stop right now. John we need to know what your plan is. Oh I know you had this word with Ianto, we all saw it, and I'm sure I speak for everyone here, I don't trust you. God knows what you will face; it may as well be a totally alien environment and will be hostile in the extreme." He saw a look pass between Ianto and John.

"Are you fucking mad?" he continued as he looked directly and Ianto. "Tell me you have some idea what is going on, because unless we have some idea, I am going to withdraw all or any support, until we do."

Gwen joined the conversation speaking to Ianto, "Owen's right we've not heard one word about how you are going to rescue Jack only that you must and I emphasize the word here, you must accompany John. How do we know this is not a trap and he's not just going to hand you over to Gray? Do you really believe that we can sanction you going under these circumstances? "

There was a brief pause and Ianto looked around the room looking at Gwen, Owen and Tosh in turn. "You don't think the same thought hasn't crossed my mind, that this all a trap? I am aware of the danger and the risks. I'm not stupid. You all seem to think I have got moron written across my forehead. I know I've not been in the best of health, I know I risk my life in going. Have I changed so much that you no longer trust the person I was, or do you believe that somehow I have lost everything that was me and you no longer trust me and the ability to make my own decisions? Is that what you are saying? If that's the case then go ahead and withdraw your support I don't care, because I am going." He stood up and looked at them in disgust. "Excuse me I need to get ready and I have a proposal to consider." He picked up the jewelry box and left the room slamming the door.

"Shit," Owen said as he stood up and he raced after Ianto. He managed to catch him in the corridor.

"Ianto," Owen called out after him.

"You wanker, you said you would support me," he said turning to face Owen glaring at him.

"Look all we're asking ..." Owen started to say.

"Fuck you!" Ianto shouted at him and stalked off.

Striding across the hub to the work stations he looked around for something to write with and on. He saw what he was looking for on Owen's desk, picking up the A4 note pad he also took a pen and went to sit on the sofa and began to write.

After a few moments John Hart walked up and joined him.

"Ah my shadow," Ianto snaked.

"Hey, just following orders" John told him leaning against the wall next to sofa.

"You know their request is not that unreasonable," John told him after several moments has passed as he watched Ianto continue to add items to an impressively growing list.

He chuckled to himself after several more moments passed. "What is so funny?" Ianto asked glaring up at him.

"Just something Jack said about you," John added.

"And what did Jack say that was so funny about me?" Ianto asked sarcastically

"He said that Torchwood would only have two options: help, move out your way or have to deal with the footprints you would leave down their backs. All I can say is that was some big footprints you left."

"Fuck the lot of them, I'll do what I've always had to do, get on and do it myself."

"Hey you're a big boy..." John started to say but was interrupted as Tosh and Owen came over to join them.

Tosh sat down next to Ianto and sat for a few moments as he continued to write. "Can I have a look?" she asked as he put a full stop to the sentence and handed it over.

"Pretty comprehensive," she commented after reading through it "What do you think Owen?" she asked handing over the pad.

"There's a couple of things you need to add; one you will need an inoculation against small pox and the other's a medic," he said as Ianto looked up at him.

"I've done some calculations and with some adjustment you should be able to include one more person, do you agree?" Tosh asked John who looked serious, crossing his arms to think.

"It will be stretching the capabilities of chronix matrix to the absolute maximum, but as long as the rift boosts the signal it's possible," he replied.

"Ok then that's settled, I'm coming with you," Owen told them as Ianto stood and without warning hugged him.

"I'm sorry," he said as Tosh joined and put her arms around both.

"We trust you, and have our full support," she added.

***

Heart and Soul -Secrets and Lies

Chapter 24

"This is a simple rescue operation," John Hart told them as they now gathered around the board room table. The center of the table was filled with the remnants a large meal of fish and chips spread out on paper which each person present lent forward and helped themselves too.

"Castle Godwin has a flaw, it has tunnel between the barrow and the Castle. These are dangerous times; the barrow has been set up a refuge, come escape route in case of attack. It is also where the eldest son has his own," he paused as look of disgust crossed his face as he tried to find the right words," private torture pits."

"Nice bloke," Owen commented sarcastically.

"Anlaf Godwin has a hands'on approach to torture," John replied distastefully.

"Oh my god," Gwen said as she went pale.

"Oh yeah he's a kind of Anglo Saxon do it yourself kind of man," John told them.

"So Jack could be in either place?" Tosh asked as she saw John nod.

"We materialize about half days'walk from the castle. We enter the tunnel via the barrow, make our way to the lower dungeon or torture pits, we get Jack, materialize out. Should be....

Owen interrupted "How will you know his location?"

"I have a way of tracking Jack," John answered, "It's a tracking device embedded in his body from when he was a Time Agent. When I took Jack I activated it, using my wrist strap I can locate where he is."

"If this is a simple rescue operation, why is it so important Ianto has to come with you?" Gwen asked still not happy with the situation.

"Ianto," John Hart said looking at Ianto to reply.

"Gwen leaves it, "Tosh interrupted. "We all agreed we would trust Ianto's judgment."

"You are asking us to put one hell of a lot of faith in you," Gwen told John bluntly who put his hand on his heart as she spoke.

"Hang on a minute," Tosh interrupted before the conversation got out of hand. "How are you going to get back? Your wrist strap is a three person transporter, without the rift boost one of you has to stay behind," she pointed out.

"That will be me, I have unfinished business with Gray," John Hart told her a cold burning fury written on his face.

"Right then," Ianto interrupted as he stood up and scoffed a few more chips and took a long drink of soda.

"The plan is this, we jump in, walk to the castle avoiding all contact, sneak in, grab Jack. Using John's vortex manipulator we jump back to the hub." He took a breath as he brushed salt off his fingers. "So as you have all told me just how dangerous this is going to be, I want gun," he told the group.

"A gun!" Owen replied startled as John raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah a gun, you're all packing, John's got one, and I want one," Ianto told him indicating to the pistol in Owen's front pocket.

"I'm not sure that wise," Owen told him.

"I'm about to jump 1000 years into the past with my lover's ex-partner, and a man whose last bout of physical exercise was four hours digging a ditch while constantly moaning, wise doesn't come into this," Ianto told them, "I want a gun, I going to face god knows what and I am going armed."

Owen looked towards Gwen who stood and threw her hands in the air.

"I guess that's a yes then," Ianto said indicating Owen lead the way.

-@-

"Choose your weapon," Owen told Ianto as he stood in front of a long table in the gun range which held a line of pistols and revolvers.

He watched as Ianto picked up each one examining each in turn. He smiled to himself as Ianto instinctively picked up what had been his favorite choice as an operative and then proceeded to load and cock it.

He put on ear protectors and stood facing the targets.

"Do I know how to use this?" Ianto asked Owen.

"Think about it Ianto?" Owen told him as he saw Ianto blink then turn and fire three shots at each target hitting each one dead center.

"Wow," he said as he smiled.

"Have I ever, you know shot a person?" he asked losing his certainty.

"You shot me in the shoulder once," Owen told him.

"What, I did what?" Ianto turned around horrified.

"Bloody hurt I can tell you," Owen told him.

"Why would I shoot you in the shoulder?" Ianto asked him shocked as he could think of no reason why he would ever shoot Owen.

"You felt you had good cause at the time," Owen told him, he was about to say more when the main lights dimmed and the emergency lights went on followed by discordant alarm.

Owen touched his ear piece and found it dead.

"We're under attack," Owen told Ianto who instinctively brought his stance into a professional position holding his gun in the correct way for attack and defense.

Moving cautiously they made their way down the corridor and heard a rustle as both raised their weapons they saw John Hart hurtled around the corner to join them.

"It's Gray. He's used Jack's vortex manipulator and he's released your all your residents from the lower levels," he told them as Owen let out a string of expletives.

"Gwen and Tosh?" Owen asked.

"Holding their own in the central part of the Hub," John said catching his breath. "I suggest we find our way there," he added. "You know united we fall and all that."

"Don't you mean united we stand?" Ianto corrected him

"Whatever." John replied.

As one they moved down the corridor covering each other. They had just made it to stairs when a weevil bowled around a corner and immediately launched itself at Owen. As it was about to latch its teeth into Owens shoulder Ianto began to empty the magazine of his gun into the back of the beast as he screamed.

"I think you got it," John Hart shouted at him as the beast slumped and he saw the wild look in Ianto's eyes.

"Bastard's been plaguing my nightmares for months, thought I would take the opportunity to kill it once and for all," Ianto said as he took the spare magazine from his back pocket.

"Thanks," Owen said as he stood surprised at the venom in Ianto's voice.

"Is it dead?" Ianto asked as he reloaded his gun.

Owen shook his head and was startled as three more bullets hit the weevil between the eyes.

"It is now," Ianto advised much to the shock on Owen's face as he cocked his pistol.

"How did you get to be such a good shot?" John Hart asked Ianto.

"Apparently I'm good with shoulders," Ianto advised as he saw John raise his eyebrows.

Moving now without incident they finally reached the main Hub area to find Gwen and Tosh being stalked by three weevils.

Owen saw Ianto's eyes glaze over and he grabbed his arm. "Let's try and just incapacitate these ones and only kill them if we have no other choice," he told him.

"Ok," Ianto agreed quietly. Nodding to each other a swift a volley of shots rang out and within a few moments three weevils laid unconscious on the ground.

Tosh walked down the steps in clear distress and threw her arms around John Hart who held her and stroked her hair speaking gently then she drew back and they kissed.

Oh god," Owen groaned under his breath as he saw them embrace.

-@-

"Is this normal for round here then?" Ianto as he cautiously checked every corner of the central hub area with his eyes checking to see if there was anything else lurking about in the shadows.

"Normal?" Gwen queried

"Yeah normal, you know kidnapping, time travel, alien creatures, getting attacked, chaos and mad brothers," Ianto added as he helped pick up scattered debris.

"As I said mate, welcome to Torchwood," Owen interjected.

"So this is like a normal occurrence for you lot then?" Ianto added.

"Cardiff's centered on a rift in time and space, aliens, artifacts come through all the time, so, yes," Gwen replied.

"So that's what you do then, chase down aliens locking them up, sort out artifacts seeing if they're useful," Ianto summed up.

"Yeah basically, we're arming humanity for the future," Tosh added.

"You don't look convinced mate," Owen asked as he saw the look on Ianto's face.

"How do your families handle all this?" Ianto asked.

"What families?" Owen replied "Only person here with a significant other, other than you Ianto is Gwen"

"Rhys and he says hello by the way" Gwen told him as she saw Ianto nod an acknowledgment.

"What about a normal life, how do you cope with your boyfriends, girlfriends, families, going out for a curry, a beer, reading a book, watching a DVD, a life?" Ianto asked as he saw looks pass between them.

"Job's pretty well 24/7 not much time for a normal life, "Tosh replied.

"You used to be part of it," Gwen pointed out as she turned and headed back to Jack's office.

"I understand that I was an operative here?" He said with a frown as he saw Owen now leave and go to the medical bay and begin to pull out supplies and laying then out on the examination table.

Several moments passed as he watched Tosh call John over and asked for his wrist strap. Taking it off he pressed several sequences then handed it to her.

"Can I ask you something?" Ianto said after she had completed entering a line of equations.

He continued as she nodded.

"In my journal Jack and I seemed to spend a lot of time here in the hub, and I was wondering where did Jack live? It's like he never seemed to leave the place."

Tosh looked at him. "Jack lived here in the Hub," she told him honestly.

"But where Tosh, I know I haven't seen all the Hub but...." he paused as he realized something

"Are you telling me he lived under that office?" He asked shocked as he saw her nod.

"But's there nothing down there except a cot, a shower and some beaten up furniture, it's hardly a home." He saw the look on her face. "Tell me he just used it when he stayed overnight right? He has a flat or apartment in Cardiff when he was not here?" he asked as she saw her shake her head.

"Ianto, Jack's life until recently was Torchwood, I can't explain, but it felt like his life has been on hold for a long time, I mean a very long time as if he was waiting for something," Tosh tried to explain but not doing very well.

"The no life outside Torchwood included Jack as well as the rest of you then?" Ianto added softly.

"Yeah pretty much," Tosh replied. "As far as we are all aware, he has no family. If he has friends he has never really spoken of them and I have feeling they were more acquaintances than friends. I mean even us, we know Jack cares about us, he's the boss but you got this feeling that Jack is or was a very lonely man."

"Was a lonely man?" Ianto asked.

"Yeah until you" She replied looking at him.

"Me?' he queried,

"Yes you," she told him giving him a nudge, "Over several months he became softer, happier, he smiled more, he was more approachable, playful we could all see it, something came on inside him," Tosh smiled. "You were both so discrete, you had to read the signs pretty carefully to work it out, for me it was the day you were both wearing the same shirt," she laughed.

"Same shirt?" Ianto asked her curiously.

"As you know Jack has this limited wardrobe, it's like he went out and bought the same shirt in three different colours times 20 over," she saw Ianto smile in agreement, " Well, one day we came in and you were both wearing the same dark coloured shirts, I think it was pretty clear you stayed over," she told him. "Well to me anyway and I realized that Jack had found someone special."

'You changed as well you know," she told him after several moments had passed.

"You stopped wearing those awful white shirts and started wearing these deep rich colours with a waistcoat. You seemed to spend an awful lot to time with Jack on weevil hunts. If you weren't out together, Jack was consulting with you on something down in the archives. You both had this this little secret smile you shared with each other. I know Gwen said she almost walked in on the two of you snogging. From the comments, I know she made sure she knocked on any door which was closed before entering," she stopped seeing she was embarrassing him.

"You have no recollection of any of this do you?" she asked him and saw him shake his head.

"I think what you're me telling is that Jack was leading a very lonely life, where he has kept himself busy, living here in this god awful place with no one until..." he stopped.

"Until you Ianto," she told him bluntly. "Then it all came tumbling down, he went missing, so did you. And did we look for you, we left no stone unturned. Then he arrived back and found you gone, he was devastated like his whole world had shattered," she became tearful. "Something had happened to him you could see it in his eyes, it was clear he had survived some kind of horror. He briefly touched on it but said he couldn't share any of it because it was too raw. "

"Did you ever find out what happened?" he asked softly struggling to keep his emotions in check, as he saw her shake her head.

"We did find out something a few months ago, when Martha Jones came to visit. She told us she also travelled with the Doctor during that time. She told us that although only a few months had passed for us, a year had passed for her and Jack. She called it, 'the year that never was.' Apparently he had been held prisoner by this mad time lord called The Master and Jack had been treated very cruelly." She heard Ianto gasp. "From the little she said I think he was tortured and raped," she paused. "We don't really know the full extent of what he endured. All Martha would say was pretty it was horrific." She became very quiet and rested her hand Ianto's arm. "She said the only thing that had kept him going was the thought of coming home to you."

Ianto remained silent as he listened to Tosh continue not able to speak.

"So he returned and found you were missing. He raced off to the university to find you, and found you had no recollection of him. He stayed a long time, hoping against hope there would be some spark, Gwen went up to see him and persuaded him to come back. When he did it was like a part of him had died and you could see the light in his eyes had gone out." She touched Ianto's arm gently again as he looked visibly upset.

"But then we found what you had left behind, hidden?" she told him as a small smile grew on her face.

"Hidden?" he questioned.

"Hidden mementos, special objects which had clearly meant a great deal to you, hidden away deep in the hub," she added and smiled in remembrance, "and then it was only chance that led us to find them."

"My stop watch," Ianto added.

"And the wrist watch Jack gave you for your birthday," she told him and saw him go pale as he recalled how Jack had been wearing it and he had demanded it back. "And your journals."

"Everything changed after that Ianto, I have never seen Jack so animated or driven. It was like watching a drowning man being thrown a life line. I know he had a huge row with the university and had to pay them a great deal to allow him to set up the project. I think he would have given them the moon if they had asked for it and it had been within his power to hand it to them. You know he has spent just about every penny he has on that project don't you?" she told him and saw him shake his head. "He loves you very much Ianto, I know because he told me so. He has agonized over every decision he has made since he left. I just hope you can work it out between you what ever happened..." she stopped as he looked up to see that Ianto was deeply affected and close to tears.

"I love him more than I can possibly t-t-t-tell you, he is ..."" he told her struggling to get the words as he swallowed. "I need to think, I need some time to myself," he told her, "I going down to Jack's old place," he said walking off towards the office and nodded to John who nodded back.

-@-

Ianto pulled shut the manhole cover. He lay down on the cot and closed his eyes wrapping his arms around himself calming his thoughts as he considered Jack's proposal. He was deeply affected by what Tosh had told him. He had been aware from the few things Owen had shared that Jack has sacrificed a lot to be with him, but until now he had no idea of the emotional cost. He shivered at the realization of how special their love making had been. He was not sure if he had been raped he would had been able to have any one touch him, let alone have sex. It wasn't sex he told himself, they had made love. Jack had made love to him and he had made love to Jack. He let out a deep sigh; they were both in such need of healing. He had found healing in Jack's arms, had Jack found any healing in his? He prayed that he had and made a pledge that he would.

Several moments passed when he sat up and opened the jewelry box revealing a single plain light gold ring. The impressions on the bottom of the box indicated it was one of a pair clearly that had been linked in a figure of eight design. The second ring he knew was with Jack. He picked it up and examined it. Who would have thought something so ordinary, could be so extraordinary? John said it was an age-old symbol of love. The figure of eight design represented infinity, two rings linked as a solid which only separated into two rings in the presence of deep and abiding love.

Firstly, Jack had apologized for the manner of his asking and promised he would make up for it, as he had always envisioned this moment in a far more romantic setting. From what John had told him Jack had intended to offer this to him immediately on his arrival back from his time with the Doctor. It represented his commitment to him and them as a couple. He would understand if the answer was no, considering the complete mess he had made of things so far. If it was no, his commitment to Ianto would not change now or in the future and asked only for an opportunity to ask again if Ianto felt he could not accept at this time.

If he accepted and chose to wear the ring it meant that they would spend their lives linked in a rare and privileged fashion. The rings represented no ordinary bonding. It was a link of heart and soul that meant they would share of and with each other as true soul mates, for life.

'When had he realized he loved Jack?' he asked himself and thought back to the first time he had noticed the man in grey standing back at the journal section waiting patiently to speak to him. 'It was then,' he realized, he had not recognized it at the time but it was love at first sight. He had been filled with an incredible feeling he did not understand at the time. Now he knew the feeling was an emotional memory, the most powerful and only memory he had for Jack at that time, his love for him. It made sense of why he had been so affected when Jack left the University that autumn, the love of his life was gone and his soul was bereft.

He picked up the ring and held it in his palm. It felt so warm and memories of their time together over the past months flooded in to his mind and an intense feeling grew in his chest as he focused on Jack and as he concentrated he could almost sense him in the room. He blinked as other feelings now infused: him love, devotion and Jack's adoration of him and a tear ran down his face. He loved Jack with an equal measure. As he thought about their possible future life together, the ring imparted to him a staggering realization, that neither could be whole without the other. They were a rare exception to the rule, of all the couples who had held this symbol only one other had been so blessed

His thoughts focused on his love for Jack, and Jack's love for him, he closed his hand around the ring and he felt a warm tingling sensation flow into his palm. He was sure he could sense the ring was almost singing with joy. Taking the ring he kissed it, and then placed it at the end of the thumb on his left hand, as he had been instructed. He watched in amazement as it flexed and almost flowed down over the nail and knuckle, and settled between the bottom of his thumb and the knuckle, now part of his being.

He closed the box and wrapped his arms around himself. "I love you Jack," he said out loud. Silently he made a vow that once they were reunited they would have a life away from the chaos and madness that had so far ruled their lives and live each for the other as one.

-@-

Ianto lay on the cot in what had been Jack's cot trying to sleep. He rubbed the sore spot on the top of his right arm. He hated needles and had expected some discomfort but was not expecting the inoculations Owen had prepared to sting quite so much and remain so sore for long after.

He had given Owen an update about how he was feeling, and admitted honestly that his anxiety had fallen away now he had some real fear to deal with. Owen had taken the time to go over what he had told him earlier about the Retcon he had taken. The conversation had been going well until Owen started going on about wanting to share something about Jack's special abilities again. From that point on he couldn't concentrate because the phrase 'special abilities' kept ringing through his consciousness.

His reaction he had to admit was part of the effect of the ring. It was like it was absorbing all their time together and for the past few hours it had focused on their intimate union. While he had to admit this was pleasurable, at first he had felt guilty considering what Tosh had told him about Jack's experience. However the ring had soothed his guilt with the knowledge that their love making had been part of Jack's healing and had been enjoyed by both of them and he relaxed. However this relief came with a renewed vigor with which the ring was attuning itself to him...them. It was incredibly distracting considering he was trying to complete preparations for the jump tomorrow.

On hearing the phrase he had felt an urge to yell out, 'Yeah Jack had special abilities all right, the ability to make me come twice in under an hour. The ability to hold me on the edge for so long, when I did come I felt like had been transported to some distant galaxy'. He swore to god one time he had come so hard and long he had almost passed out. He ran his hand over his hair as images and sensations flooded through him and he groaned at the ecstasy of coming inside Jack and Jack coming inside him. That exquisite mixture of pain and pleasure that was sex with Jack, he turned over on to his stomach trying to control his rampant erection.

"Thinking about Jack ha?" he heard a voice in the dark say.

"I think we can both agree that subject is off limits," Ianto sternly told the voice.

"Oh I understand, if Jack is doing for you what he did for me," the voice sighed.

Ianto turned and glared towards the voice.

"You know that man is a genius when it comes to sex, I swear one time I came so hard, I thought I had passed out," the voice said wistfully.

Several moments passed when the voice added," I guess it comes from years of practice and I mean years. "

Ianto sat up and looked towards the voice. "Look I understand you two had this thing once," Ianto told the voice recalling Tosh's revelation by the lake.

"Thing, let me tell you we were stuck in time loop for five years it was more than just a thing," the voice said categorically.

"It's that time agent thing, stuff, life," Ianto sputtered," and all the rest about Jack. I've already told Owen and I'm telling you, if Jack has things in his life, he can to tell me about them himself," he paused then added, "The last thing Jack asked me in person was the chance to explain and considering the circumstance of that request, I think he has the right to tell me himself."

"Oh the no telling rule, got it you don't want to know, fine by me. I am sick of all the secrets and lies anyway. But just remember some secrets can end up killing you."

"What the hell does that mean?" Ianto said loudly

A voice from above that sounded like Gwen shouted down, "You boys behaving, don't you make me come down there."

"Yes Mam," John Hart should back sarcastically as he turned over.

"You know it's pretty safe down here, a bloody fortress, I am sure nothing can happen to me, you could use the sofa," Ianto pointed out hopefully.

"What is it about stick to you like glue you don't understand?" John pointed out.

Ianto groaned. "Well if you and I are stuck with each other then we need to get one thing straight, I don't ever want to hear you use that word in my hearing again," he asked.

"What oh what a big castle you've got or oh is that a big rocket in your pocket or you just pleased to see me," John said.

"You know what I mean," Ianto growled.

"Alright, alright I won't use the term big in any conversation that could lead to any indication that your b..."

"I'm warning you I don't need to use my bare hands anymore, I'm armed," Ianto warned him.

"So I've gathered," John Hart replied.

"You know I can feel the heat off your face from here," he added after several long moments had passed.

"Shut up and go to sleep, I'm knackered," Ianto grumbled.

"Well knowing Jack I am not surprised." John started to say.

Ianto muttered under his breath and turned over in on the cot trying to make himself comfortable. Jack must have some special ability if he managed to sleep on this he groaned as he changed positions again.

"Still thinking about Jack eh?" the voice said.

***

***Warning*** Chapter contains description of torture and aftermarth of torture.

Chapter 25

Ianto stood at the foot of the water feature He mentally went over what he was carrying. He was wearing thermals under modern jeans held up with a good leather belt. His belt held a gun holder and a Glock 17. Tucked inside out of sight was a small leather pouch filled with coins of the realm. He wore good strong walking boots, a plain black cotton tee shirt, along with a thick wool jumper. This was covered with a dark brown wool jerkin with a hood which was a practical item that was worn during the time they were travelling to and would not look out of place. Across his back he carried a long wide leather tube like pouch. This was filled with what he called the necessities of civilizations like a shaving kit and a few other items. Around his neck he wore a scarf he had found in the lockers as it looked useful so had added at the last moment. He had also added a woolen hat and gloves now also in the pouch. In his hand he held a quarterstaff, which he had read about and could also come in useful as walking stick and as a weapon.

He smiled as Owen joined him similarly dressed along with John who was dressed as he always was.

"Look this is my style, add or detract just doesn't feel right," he said as he saw the looks on their faces.

"Tough," Owen said as he threw a pack at him. "I've prepared this for you, it's got a first aid kit and some other useful bits and pieces we might need like food." John shrugged and placed it over his shoulder adjusting it so it fitted comfortably.

"Nice ring," John said to Ianto indicating the ring on his left thumb.

"Jack gave it to me," Ianto replied as Owen glanced over to see the plain gold band on his left thumb trying to recall if he had seen it before but not able to place it. In all the fuss of the last few days he admitted he could have missed it.

"Congratulations by the way," John said offering his hand.

"Thank you," Ianto said shaking the offered hand.

Owen rolled his eyes and shook his head as he checked his gear, and put the exchange down to another mad and inexplicable conversation between the pair of them. If he didn't know better he could swear they were speaking in code.

"Ok are you ready?" Tosh called down from her work station.

"When I get back babe you and I are going to make beautiful music together," John winked and called out to her as he threw here a kiss and was rewarded with a smile.

"Good luck," Gwen called out as Tosh began to withdraw the rift connection to John's wrist strap.

Ianto watched as John began to punch information into his wrist strap. He raised his finger to initiate the jump when all three of them were engulfed with a massive flash of orange light. Suddenly his brain felt like it was going to explode.

Tosh watched as the orange and pink haze surrounded then engulfed Owen Ianto and John. Then in what seemed like an explosion filled the Hub dazzling them both leaving behind a heavy smell of ozone and burning electrical wiring. As the flash occurred the Hub lighting flickered chaotically, and then disappeared leaving them in complete darkness.

"Are you all right?" Tosh called over to Gwen.

"Yeah, what happened?" Gwen called out to Tosh who now found her flashlight and was headed with speed towards the Hub's main power system controls.

"I am not sure?" Tosh replied as Gwen joined her. "I suspect a rift spike and it appeared to happen just as John was about to initiate the jump."

"What does that mean?" Gwen asked as they reached the board

"A massive spike of rift energy has overloaded the Hub systems," Tosh told her.

"I meant for the boys?" Gwen corrected her.

"I don't want to think about that right now ,let's just get the systems back online and we can check what happened," Tosh replied her entire focus on the board in front of her.

"Gray?" Gwen offered as she held up her light onto the board.

"No I don't think so," Tosh advised as she examined the board and began to re-initiate the power start up for the Hub.

"What makes you so sure?" Gwen asked holding up the light as Tosh worked.

"Too big, only the full force of the rift could have produced a surge big enough to knock out the entire Hub," she replied flicking switches and pulling fuses back into the on position. As she pulled down the main circuit breaker the lights came back on and they could hear their computers start to reboot.

Back at their computers they began to power up the server bringing it back on line. Several moments passed as they tapped away at their key boards.

"Did they make it?" Gwen asked trying to keep emotion out of her voice as she worked.

Tosh kept working not wanting to reply, running through the lines of information as took a deep breath.

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Gwen asked terror in her voice.

"Massive rift spike." Tosh confirmed.

"Have we lost them?" Gwen cried out as tears ran down her face.

Tosh gasped as the lines continued, as they came to an end she sat back and took off her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "The spike overloaded John's vortex manipulator, he never got to start the sequence, the surge ripped through and tore the matrix apart," she paused as she came to terms with the information on her screen. "It scattered them into atoms," she heard herself say out loud.

"Oh God," Gwen gasped as her legs failed her and she fell to the floor.

"They're dead," Tosh said staring blankly at the screen.

Tosh sat on the sofa her head against Gwen's shoulder tears falling down her face trying to come to terms with the disaster before them. Gwen was silent staring into the distance her arms around Tosh. The phone in Jack's office began to ring, and after several moments it stopped. After a short break it rang again, its ring echoing around the Hub then stopped. Gwen's mobile phone began to ring and she ignored it. After several moments it stopped then started again. Taking it out of her pocket she turned it off.

A few moments later the phone on Jack's desk began to ring again. Gwen swore and held Tosh closer and it stopped. A few moments passed and the phone rang again. Tosh stood up and walked across to Jack's desk, picked up the phone and ripped off the hand piece and threw it across the Hub.

Standing in front of the desk motionless as Gwen came to join her and guided her back to the sofa.

Approximately two hours later, they heard the proximity alarm. As the door rolled aside they stood ready to face whatever came through the door and were stunned to see Rhys.

"How did you know how to get in here?" Gwen burst out then raced over to Rhys and threw her arms around him.

"It's alright, what's happened?" he asked her gently.

"They're dead Owen, Ianto and John. Jack's trapped in the past, and..."she broke down in tears

"How did you know how to get in here?" Tosh repeated Gwen's question.

"Never mind that now Tosh, some woman called Martha Jones from UNIT called said she'd been trying to contact you for bloody hours, she said its urgent, very urgent." He handed her a piece of paper with a number on it call as Tosh pulled her phone out and punched in the numbers.

Moving with speed Tosh stood by her computer station watching the down load as Gwen watched from behind as the data flowed over screen.

"Will someone fill me in?" Rhys asked as he gently hugged Gwen as Tosh began to speak.

"At exactly the same time as the surge in rift activity, The Standing Stones of Emin pulsed with an incomprehensible amount of power. It burnt out every sensor we placed there, took out a geostationary satellite passing overhead and almost took out several others. The energy ripple was picked up as far away as Waikato University in New Zealand which is the other side of the world. It was so powerful, the ripple effect registered instantaneously on their equipment there. "

"What does it mean, are you saying the stones caused the rift flare?" Gwen asked.

Tosh blinked as she thought out loud. "Wrong energy signature so I don't' think so." She took a deep breath. "If the figures are correct we have underestimated the power here, by a factor of one million, maybe more. If I'm right then this release was only a tiny fraction of its actual capability."

"Are you saying that the energy released was the equivalent of someone flexing a finger? "Gwen asked

"Exactly, if this object wanted to, it could have taken out the moon," Tosh told her bluntly, "but it has lain quiescent for thousands of year holding back its power until now, why?" She took pause to think and bit her lip.

"You know the stones have done nothing but help all year. In fact they have an established history of helping. Isn't that what you told me?" Gwen asked.

"The question is why would the stones risk exposing their secret, because that's what they've done?" Tosh continued as she nodded in reply to Gwen's observation.

"Well this and the odd ping," Gwen added seeing the look on Rhys face.

"Ping?" Rhys repeated.

"I'll explain later," Gwen told him as she patted his chest.

"Exactly," Tosh replied. "It's exposed itself to all sorts of questions and scrutiny. The least of which is a team of UNIT investigators on their way there right now. It's clear this is an object of immense power clearly of alien origin. Why would it expose itself. ...."

"Are you sure it was at the exact moment?" Gwen interrupted.

"To the nanosecond," Tosh replied.

"Look will someone tell me exactly what is going on?" Rhys asked insistently

"A few hours ago Owen, Ianto and John attempted a jump back on time, we were using the rift to recharge John's vortex manipulator. At the point he was going to start the jump there was a massive rift flare. We thought, we were certain, they'd been killed, lost to the rift." She explained not sure she trusted her voice.

"You don't think?" Gwen asked wide eyed and saw Tosh nodded. "So are you saying," Gwen asked looking at Tosh not fully trusting her own reasoning.

"Exactly, for whatever reason those stones used their power to counter the rift flare and enabled the jump. It's the only possible explanation that fits all the data and history, " Tosh said wrapping her hands around herself.

"So they made it," Gwen said her voice breaking "Oh my god Rhys they made it."

"And when this is over" Tosh continued her eyes sparkling, "I'm going to visit those stones and I don't care how crazy it's going to look, I am going to kiss each and every one. "

-@-

Ianto watched as John began to punch information into his wrist strap. He raised his finger to initiate the jump when all three of them were engulfed with a massive flash of orange light. Suddenly his brain felt like it was going to explode. His vision filled with star bursts of every colour in the known universe and some he could swear did not exist. An intense sharp pain hit him at the back of his neck and put his hands to his head and crashed to his knees.

Swept up in the energy Owen watched as Ianto cried out and fell to his knees, on his other side he saw John frantically trying to punch in sequences on his wrist strap. As the haze cleared it didn't take a genius to work out they were not in any wood he could discern, there were no trees for a start.

They were in some kind of over grown open pasture land along with a stunned young boy who was surrounded by several sheep. The boy pointed and began to gibber unintelligibly towards them.

"Where is the wood?" Owen shouted at him as he grabbed the lapels on John's jacket.

"Not my fault, not my fault," John desperately tried to tell him. Owen ground his teeth as he pushed John away and hurried to assist Ianto who was on the ground on all fours.

"Are you Ok?" Owen asked Ianto as he helped him to his feet.

"This was not my fault, not-my-fault," John kept repeating looking desperately around trying to gauge where they were.

"I can't see," Ianto said as he staggered a few steps then sat down putting his head between his knees.

"Shit!" Owen burst out and kneeled down next to him.

"Can't see as in blind?" Owen asked.

"Not blind, blinded all I can see is these star bursts of intense colours and my brain is feels like it's on fire," Ianto explained.

"What happened John?" Owen demanded as he lifted Ianto's chin checking his eyes.

"It wasn't me, I swear," John told them panic in his voice.

Ianto reached out and managed to catch Owen's arm, "He's right Owen, I was watching him, he never completed the sequence on his wrist strap."

"So where and when the hell are we and what the fuck happened?" Owen demanded again.

"I have no idea where we are. All I can see is a large group of standing stones," John said looking around still fiddling with his vortex manipulator in a growing panic.

Owen burst out with a string of expletives as he glanced around to see they were in the center of The Standing Stones of Emin.

"I gather from your outburst you know where we are?" Ianto asked.

"You'd know where we were too if you could see Ianto, you've been studying the bloody things all year," Owen told him.

"What! How! JOHN,"Ianto called out.

"We'll deal with him a minute, how many fingers am I holding up," Owen asked Ianto as he held up three fingers.

Ianto squinted, "Eight," he replied as Owen swore.

"John," Ianto shouted out fear distorting his voice.

"Not sure not sure," John said a shake in his voice as he still tried to get some response from his manipulator.

"Oh god," Ianto cried out as another star burst of colours hit his vision, less intense this time.

"How many fingers now?" Owen asked as held up his entire hand.

"Five," Ianto replied squinting, "but they're purple with green specks?" he added.

"We're where?" Ianto asked again as the whirl of colours started to fade and he could concentrate.

"Ianto we are in the middle of The Standing Stones of Emin", Owen told him bluntly, he was about to say something as he saw John start turning around in panic.

"No,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no," John repeated over and over again. He grabbed Ianto bringing him to his feet, his normal arrogant non-chalance replaced with sick terror.

"We're over a 100 miles out, she's dead... worse than dead." He pushed Ianto away from him staggered three steps then took hold of one of the stones for support.

Refusing Owen's assistance Ianto staggered across to John trying to bring him into focus, and pulled him around by the shoulders, "We have five days, we can still make it, use your vortex manipulator, make something up, tell him I'm injured , tell him we've been delayed," Ianto told him urgently.

"I can't," John screamed at him. "The matrix is drained. It will take days, weeks for it to recharge. It's useless, beyond its most basic functions." He grabbed Ianto again by the top of his arms and shook him. "We can't make it in five days Ianto."

"Listen...100 miles we can make it. If we start right now we almost have five days ," Ianto told him trying to calm him down, "three miles an hour, twelve hours a day, that's 36 miles a day we can make it".

"Even if we could manage to walk 36 miles a day, which I seriously doubt, we still have to find a way in. We will be cutting this very fine. This is a hostile time period, a single delay is all we need and..." John told him wiping his face clear.

"We need to get moving then," Ianto told John as and started to move in the direction of Johns pointed hand.

"How many hours to sunset?" Ianto asked as John consulted his wrist strap. "Six," John replied.

"Right, we can make 20 miles today, come on Owen," Ianto called back at him.

"Will someone tell me what in the name of all hell is going on?" Owen demanded as he moved to catch up with them.

Ianto turned to him. "We have five days, to travel over a 100 miles and rescue Ariana."

"I get the five days and the distance. I mean who is Ariana?" Owen asked confused.

"My sister," John replied his voice shaking, "she's seventeen years old and the only family I have."

"The deal was in five days John has to hand me over in exchange for Ariana or Gray will give her to Anlaf Godwin," Ianto told him as his vision cleared even more and he noted the grass was now green and not red.

Owen looked at them both opened mouthed. "You're just going hand Ianto over and you are going to let him?" Owen spat at them seriously wanting to punch something. "You've gotta know this is a death sentence. Gray will drag you in front of Jack, torture then kill you," he shouted at Ianto.

John turned around and punched him to the ground. "You bastard!" John screamed at him as Ianto pulled him back as Owen edged away. "Do you think I have no sense of honour?" he shouted to Owen's fallen form.

"Sorry Mate, that's not what I meant," Owen said as Ianto held out his hand to help him up.

"I made Jack a solemn promise, an oath, and that oath came at a heavy price," John shouted at him as he took off.

"What is he talking about?" Owen asked Ianto feeling his jaw.

"Jack went willingly, to buy us the time we needed to rescue Ariana." Ianto told him looking at John's retreating back as he pulled Owen aside. "And John's right; as of this moment we're fucked," Ianto said his voice cracking up, "Ariana may as well be dead, and Jack is in hell, and we've got no way of getting either of them out, because I can't see any way this is going to work."

Owen went pale as he realized the implications of what they were saying, "Jesus Christ almighty," he muttered under his breath as both of them raced to catch up with John.

-@-

Jack lay naked on the damp stone floor, curled up on himself trying with every effort he possessed not to make a single movement. A spasm caused his foot to twitch and excruciating agony shot through his feet into his legs. He tried to control the trembling that accompanied the pain without success and for a brief moment he passed out. His brother with dark callous glee had laid out his plan to Jack. Respite via death would not occur, suffering would be his name. It was his one piece of normality being used against him and unless fatally wounded he healed at a normal rate. Now Gray would use it against him to its fullest potential. The beating that followed was not the general beating he had expected, but was to his feet. It had been prolonged and severe and had destroyed all the small bones to splinters.

He opened his eyes and noted the edge of light to his right expanded and something was roughly thrown and landed close by him. He braced himself as the vibrations caused, his feet to twitch and teeth chattered with the agony.

He wondered where his strength to endure had gone. The truth was the man he been had vanished with the first blow. At that moment he realized he had severely underestimated his ability to cope, it had gone, beaten out of him by The Master. He had tried desperately to hold on to his sense of self, but he knew he had nothing left to hold on with. All that was left was a hollow shell filled with terrible pain. A shell who had cast his last remaining hope into the wind of chance and now had nothing left to cling to.

-@-

Owen tried to keep up the pace set by John. They had walked trying to step into a rhythm of walking, that burnt distance So far so good, he was thirsty and a little tired but he knew this was day one, and they had made walked eleven miles.

He cursed the Henge and couldn't figure why for whatever reason it had intervened and brought them here. A further check of John's vortex manipulator the last time they had rested confirmed it had not burnt out, but its current capability had been reduced to a fancy wrist GPS with a calendar function. It meant getting back to their own time would be problematic but considering their current predicament that was the least of their worries.

"What if we steal a horse?" Owen offered trying to catch his breath.

"Can you ride? I can't? Can you?" John asked each of them in turn.

"This is Anglo Saxon England, not the Wild West, Owen, horses are the equivalent of a 21st century Ferrari." Ianto told him.

"Well it was just a thought," Owen grumped.

"What's with the Rocks?" John asked as he still tried to make sense of what had happened.

"The Standing Stones of Emin," Ianto replied and went on to explain the past year and the project as he finished he saw Owen look uncomfortable.

"There's more," Owen told them not sure how either of them was going to take the information he had to share.

"More?" Ianto asked looking at him.

"It's complicated," Owen advised him.

"Complicated?" Ianto repeated.

"Yeah, it's what we discovered," Owen told them as they approached what looked like wide dirt path.

"We discovered? Why do I have feeling this doesn't include me," Ianto saw the look on Owen's face. "I think you had better start," Ianto told him matter-of-factly wondering what was going to be revealed now.

Owen stared at him began to explain about their discoveries and their effect on Ianto.

"So according to you every time I visited I got pinged by this Aeon power. Were you ever going to tell me?" Ianto asked as Owen completed his explanation and looked uncomfortable.

"Aeon power, who came up with that one?" John snorted.

"Tosh came up with the term when we couldn't identify the energy signature," Owen told him.

"Aeon power," Ianto repeated unfamiliar with the term

"Yeah, power emanating from a supreme being," he tried to explain. "We don't, didn't believe it was a malevolent force , all indications suggested the power was benign ..." Owen told them.

"All those stories, the one's about the dreaming dragon," Ianto interrupted understanding.

"What" John exclaimed.

"The stones have some interesting legends stories, events, history, healing children," Ianto tried to explain.

"Legends, stories ,events, history!" John spat out as if they were both mad.

"Why, if it's been helping me all year, why would it bring us here, why would it make things so difficult?" Ianto asked bewildered.

"Ianto I have no idea, this is a force we don't understand or even comprehend," Owen replied honestly.

"I understand enough," John snarled, "this Aeon power or whatever you want to call it has screwed us over and left Ariana and Jack in the worst possible position." He spat on the ground, "I curse it to hell and when I can, I will come back and nothing will remain of The Standing stones of Emin except a large gaping smoldering hole in the ground," he said his voice dripping with venom as he picked up his speed and stalked off.

**Authors Note:

Please note: this is a fictional Anglo Saxon England. At times it will mirror Anglo Saxon England and share some characteristic. However, I have used creative license in creating this time for this story. This includes language, for the sake of this story everyone understands modern English. (The bit about the horses is true however.) All distances are in miles.

***

Next part of Heart and Soul.

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