Title: Alone
By: zequin-stars
Pairing: Reid/Morgan
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Prompt: 001. Learn to be Lonely
Word Count: 941
Rating: PG
Warnings/Spoilers: A few spoilers for 1x01 Extreme Aggressor
Summary: On the flight back home, Reid's POV, a short snippet of introspection on his own life.

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It was raining as they mounted the cold steel steps that lead into the plane which would take them home, Reid's hair was starting to drip into his eyes and his face was pale and quiet. Settling into the seat across from Morgan, hardly noticing that the older man was getting comfortable in his seat but looking at Reid with some concern. Reid was focused inward, his own hallow demons coming out to swarm his busy mind with self doubt and insecurities, the rain a loud beat outside the windows to echo the tears he wished he could shed.

Child of the wilderness ?Born into emptiness ?Learn to be lonely ?Learn to find your way in darkness

Shifting through Richard Lessman's cd's, looking through his things, with Morgan had been at once an exhilarating experience and a depressing one. This case reminded him of how close he came to becoming a Richard Lessman, his smarts and lack of social skills, awkward gangly body, and a tendency to submission were all things he had seen reflected in the young unsub they had caught working with Vogler, all the things Reid possessed himself. If he hadn't had the opportunities that presented themselves in his life, Reid could easily see himself as the young man who had been aiding the killer they caught. He had enjoyed working with Morgan, the older man had been the object of his secret affections since he walked into the BAU office the first day and Morgan had smiled at him while shaking his hand in greeting. The only problem was Morgan had figured out he was an awkward social nightmare and annoying genius, the older man didn't really attempt to get to know him to much after that, preferring to flirt with every hot woman he could fine. Reid hadn't been surprised, but he had been saddened, it was, as most of the team teasingly referred to 'The Reid Affect', it had struck again with the man he really wished would notice him.

Who will be there for you, ?comfort and care for you? ?Learn to be lonely ?Learn to be your one companion ?Never dreamed out in the world

Reid had grown to accept that he had no social grace, even as a child no one wanted to know him or be his friend, it was simply the way he lived his life now, alone. No one wanted to date a genius, especially if they were awkward and to tall, Reid had always felt gangly and ugly around his peers, it didn't help that the men he worked with were gorgeous. It was the way he live his life, perpetually alone even among the people who were supposed to care for him; even his mother who when diagnosed he had learned to be his only comfort. Why did it always sting when he saw Morgan flirting with interns, even suspects, he should be able to expect it by now, but he simply couldn't. He was the youngest on the team and Morgan treated him just like that, the youngest and not really worth his attention unless he needed something. It had sent a fission of warmth through him when Gideon kept insisting on introducing him as Dr. Reid because he wanted Reid to be respected and not seen as just a kid when working on a case. No one had ever done something like that, so simple but it meant so much, he just wished Morgan had been the one to do it.

There are arms to hold you ?You've always known ?Your heart was on its own

Reid sighed and settled his satchel on the ground next to his seat, looking at Morgan from under his lashes and sighing again when he noticed the older man speaking animatedly with Elle. Stretching his long lanky body out on the couch, pillowing his head on one arm, Reid looked out the window at the rain blankly. He just wanted to be able to look at Morgan and tell him everything he felt, but that wasn't possible so Reid sufferend in silence and simply watched as the man he wanted flirted with every woman he met. Closing his eyes with a soft sigh, Reid let himself drift, the rain was slowly stopping and the quiet conversation in the plane was slowly dwindling as people started to go to sleep.

So laugh in your loneliness ?Child of the wilderness ?Learn to be lonely ?Learn how to love life that is lived alone ?Learn to be lonely ?life can be lived ?life can be loved ?Alone.

After a few minutes of silence, when Reid thought everyone was finally asleep, he startled away when he felt a soft warmth across his chest. Opening his eyes, Reid couldn't stiffle the soft gasp that breathed out between his lips when he saw Morgan leaning over him. Looking down at his own chest Reid looked back up at Morgan with wide eyes when he saw the older man's suit jacket spread out over his upper body. The look on Morgan's face was something he'd never seen, an odd soft and slightly confused expression that made his mind whirl.

"Morgan?"

"Go back to sleep pretty boy."

Reid watched as Morgan smoothed the jacket over the lanky doctor's chest before turning away from Reid and settled back into his chair to sleep as well. Staring at Morgan until the older man slipped into sleep, Reid snuggled his chin into his jacket and inhaled the spicy scent of the older man before closing his eyes to sleep as well.

He smiled as he fell asleep.



Learn to Be Lonely - Phantom Of The OperaChild of the wilderness Born into emptiness Learn to be lonely Learn to find your way in darkness Who will be there for you, comfort and care for you? Learn to be lonely Learn to be your one companion Never dreamed out in the world There are arms to hold you You've always known Your heart was on its own So laugh in your loneliness ?Child of the wilderness Learn to be lonely Learn how to love life that is lived alone Learn to be lonely life can be lived life can be loved Alone.

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Next story in series - Shame.