Title: Best Served Cold
By: bahjcb
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Rating: G
Warning: Spanish came from Internet Translation Website -- Read at Your Own Risk!
Summary: After all her sister in laws did for she and Derek, they felt like they ought to reward them. Follow up to Merry Christmas, Penelope.

***

Do not believe that you can possibly escape the reward of your action. —Ralph Waldo Emerson

Gaby was fairly certain she was getting a nervous tick. Lifting a hand to her right eyed, Gaby decided she couldn't tell if it was a nervous tick or if she was just blinking spastically.

With four hyperactive boys, Gaby Garcia's home had always been a bit chaotic but since the recent influx of sugar and caffeine, chaotic didn't even begin to describe her home. Gaby would kill her husband for buying the snacks, but she knew Eddy was under orders from his sister.

How Penelope had ever found out that they made Mary pay for the tires, she would never know. But, if she ever found the rat that spilled, they would die!

Penelope didn't just go for revenge, she went for cruel and unusual punishment. It was one thing to hype her boys up on sugary, caffeinated drinks, but to then buy them a drum set!

Actually, it was two drum sets. Just enough that two were always fighting about who got to play while the other two beat out rhythms that somehow seemed to clash with each other and create more of a racket than just one set could possibly make on its own.

Gaby was also fairly certain that she was losing her hearing. Not to mention her mind.

Seeing Eddy enter the asylum (her new personal nickname for their home) with a gallon of fudge ripple ice cream, Gaby started to laugh hysterically.

Gaby decided she definitely had a nervous tick.

Starlight was trying to meditate, but as she tried to concentrate on her mantra she realized that she was muttering it to the tune of Bop to the Top. Snapping her eyes open, Starlight growled.

"I hate karaoke! I hate High School Musical—one and two!"

Realizing that her actions were not anywhere in line with her life values, Starlight took a deep cleansing breath, closed her eyes, and tried again.

That lasted all of ten seconds.

"What the HELL!" she snapped, scrambling out of the lotus position.

Starlight forgot all about inner-enlightenment as she stormed into the living room. There she found her husband and two daughters. All three of them were wearing the sparkly accessories Aunt Penelope sent them while singing along, once again, to Bob to the Top! The girls were singing Sharpey's part while her husband was singing Ryan's—Sharpey's twin brother.

Ripping the plug out of the outlet, Starlight yelled, "Michael! What do you think you are doing?!"

"Spending time with my daughters," he slowly and cautiously replied.

With a scary gleam in her eye, Starlight asked, "Michael, do you not think that you could, oh, I don't know, take our children to the park? Have a tea party? Sing some song NOT in High School Musical?"

As poor Michael Garcia was not used to dealing with a crazed wife (Starlight was usually so calm!), he made an amateur mistake.

With a grin he said, "Well, they love Bop to the Top. And, why are you calling me Michael? You know I changed my name to Moonbeam when…"

"When we pledged our lives together," Starlight interrupted. "I know. You wanted to match." Stalking closer, Starlight growled, "Well, right now, Michael 'Moonbeam' Garcia, I'm a hairsbreadth from clocking you!"

Before she could give up all her parents' teaching about a nonviolent life and deck her husband, their youngest daughter, Sunshine, spoke.

"Mommy, why can't we play Sharpey? Aunty Pen sent us these shiny bracelets so we could be just like her!"

Rainbow hurried and nodded in agreement.

With both her girls looking up at her with those puppy dog eyes and her husband (the guilty party in league with his sister, Starlight was sure) looking like a puppy she had just kicked, Starlight gave in.

"Fine, be Sharpey. Just…just sing another song besides Bop to the Top."

As the girls squealed with happiness, Starlight trudged off to her bedroom. She hoped piling all the pillows on her head would either keep out the sound or smoother her. At the moment, Starlight wasn't sure which she was hoping for.

"Derek, you cannot possible buy Fran that for Mother's Day," Penelope sternly informed him.

"Why not? I'm pretty sure she has another dress like this in her closet at home."

"It will clash."

"With what?" Derek asked with a grin.

"Her sense of taste. Fran would never own something like this."

"The dress I'm thinking of, my dad bought her."

Smiling indulgently, Penelope wrapped her arms around Derek's waist. "That just proves that the Morgan men have very little fashion sense."

"It's green," Derek argued, wrapping his arm around her waist. "My mom likes green."

"It looks like a muumuu. The only reason she still owns the other dress is because she loves your father. Sentimental value, gorgeous. Nothing else."

Turning them so they were facing the rack of dresses, Derek replied, "Do you really think it looks like a muumuu?"

"Sweetheart, the only the thing that dress would be good for is a laugh when her great-grandchildren clean out her closet. Do you really want our future children thinking your mother has no taste?"

A large grin spreading across his face, Derek started to tickle Penelope's sides while saying, "Oh, you're going to pay for that remark, mama."

"Uncle," she cried with a grin as she grabbed her ringing cell phone. "Garcia."

After answering the phone, Penelope's face became solemn as she asked, "Gaby, is that you?"

Smiling, Derek walked behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Setting his chin on Penelope's shoulder, Derek whispered, "Hold it out, baby girl. I want to hear how she liked our present."

Grinning, Penelope did as he requested.

"Ah, that's better," Gaby sighed over the phone. "I'm outside near the road construction now. I can finally hear you."

Penelope and Derek just quietly laughed.

Gaby didn't seem to hear them, or was ignoring them, because she quickly went on. "Pen, have you and Derek broken up?"

"What?"

"Well, it's just that I was watching one of those TV psychiatrists and he was talking about transference. I was thinking that because it was all our fault that you were dating Derek, that if he broke your heart you were acting out your anger on us."

"That is an excellent understanding of transference," Derek informed Gaby.

Once again, they heard a sigh. "Oh, it's about the tires then. How did you two find out?"

"Mary," Penelope replied. "She called me after checking her credit card bill."

"She's not making you pay her back, is she?" Gaby seemed appalled at the idea.

"No, but she wasn't happy."

"I knew something was wrong with our plan. I never thought Mary would be the rat. Well, now I don't feel so bad about putting the tires on her charge card." There was silence for a minute before Gaby added, "Did you have to give them sugary, caffeinated drinks? Why not one or the other?"

"That was Eddy's idea," Derek happily informed her.

"I hope he likes the couch," Gaby darkly replied .

"Are the boys learning to play the drums yet?" Penelope asked with exaggerated innocence.

"Ha," Gaby barked. "You know perfectly well that my cuatro pequeños monstruos have absolutely no rhythm. But, do not despair. As we speak, I am looking for underprivileged grunge rock bands who wouldn't mind taking some gently used drum sets."

"Are there underprivileged grunge rock bands in Hong Kong?" Derek asked.

"If not, there is always EBay," Gaby firmly replied. "By the way, thanks to you, Starlight is no longer paying their electric bill. She's hoping that when the electricity is cut the songs will stop."

"But, won't they know the songs by heart by then?" Penelope asked.

There was no response, but the cuddling couple could tell Gaby was rolling her eyes. "Who thought of the accessories?"

"That was me," Derek proudly answered. "I grew up with two sisters."

"Ah! Brilliant touch."

"Thank you."

"Last question, then I'll let you two get back to your gloating."

Derek and Penelope had to laugh at that.

"What did you do to Casey? Her daughter isn't old enough to use. Starlight and I haven't been able to reach her for over a week."

Gleefully, Penelope shared the consequences of Casey's actions.

Gaby didn't immediately reply as she thought that over.

"Well, she was the ring leader. Getting you two together was all her idea."

"Are you trying to make us feel bad?" Derek asked.

"No, I'm justifying to myself why I feel okay with the fudge ripple ice cream. How did you get Charlie to agree to that?"

"Kylie was teething and wanted her mommy the entire time you three were off plotting," Penelope explained.

"Oh, well, that explains it all. You two are the masters."

"Thank you," Derek replied.

"I'll be much sneaker when I send you ring catalogs," Gaby teased.

Answering back with a smile, Derek countered, "Make sure they're in English. Chinese would be a dead give away."

Laughing, Gaby wished them well and went back to her four little monsters.

Mr. Abernathy had been living next to the Garcias since they got married. He had thought they were a cute, young couple. And, they were quiet, so a man of his age appreciated that. Within the last week, however, it was a different story.

Some friends of theirs were staying with them. Charlie took that beautiful, little Kylie for walks all the time, leaving Casey to take care of their guests. Their guests who were evidently starting their own heavy metal band.

Having liked the Garcias, and not having trouble with them before, Mr. Abernathy decided to go ask them to bring the noise down instead of instantly calling the police—which was his first inclination.

It took awhile for Casey to answer the door, probably couldn't hear him knock over the music, Mr. Abernathy decided.

"Hello, Mr. Abernathy. What can I do for you?" Casey shouted, when she finally opened the door.

"Could you…"

"What?"

"Could you," he started louder.

"I can't hear you."

"The band!" he screamed.

"They're friends of my sister-in-law's. They'll be here till Friday. We don't know them, so I have to stay here and make sure they don't steal things. Charlie and Kylie are gone."

Deciding that Casey didn't have a clue as to why he was there, Mark Abernathy yelled, "I'll call the police if…"

"Would you?" Casey pleaded. "I'll pay you twenty dollars if you would."

Immediately, she pulled a twenty dollar bill from her pants pocket. She'd obviously been waiting for this moment.

Unfortunately, at least from a calling the police perspective, the music stopped. Glancing down at her watch, Casey sighed. Looking around furtively, Casey grabbed Mr. Abernathy's hand and shoved the bill in it.

"They'll start practicing again after dinner," she said in what she clearly thought was a whisper.

Mr. Abernathy hoped Casey wasn't going deaf.

"Call the police about the noise. Tell them we won't make them stop. Maybe I'll get thrown in jail," Casey added with a manic grin.

As soon as she said that, Casey disappeared back into the house, leaving a confused Mr. Abernathy on the porch.

***