Title: Merry Christmas, Penelope
By: bahjcb
Pairing: Morgan/Garcia
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Spanish and later French came from Internet Translation Website -- Read at Your Own Risk!
Summary: Garcia's sister in laws just wanted her to have the best Christmas ever! Too bad they're completely screwing it up.

***

Happiness comes to those who are moving toward something they want very much to happen. And it almost always involves making someone else happy. ...Earl Nightingale

"I would like to call to order the first ever meeting of The Garcia Sister-In-Laws in Search for the Perfect Christmas Present for Penelope," Casey perkily declared with a grin.

Gaby rolled her eyes. "Why don't we go by GSILSPCPP? I think that will take a little less breath to say."

"So whines the woman who immediately hopped a plane from Hong Kong to be here to help," teased Starlight with a smile.

Once again, Gaby rolled her eyes, but this time, it was with a grin. Turning to Casey she asked, "So, Chairman of the Committee, what are we getting for our illustrious cuñada?"

Casey gave her fellow sisters a manic grin.

"The one thing Penny wants more than anything in this world."

Gaby's eyes widened. "You do realize that our meddling will bring about Death by a Very Slow and Very Painful Process?"

Starlight, who also had a health respect for Penelope's temper, thoughtful said, "But if it gets her what she wants…"

"Oh, no. No, no, no. Confucius said, 'Love is like a spice. It can sweeten your life...however, it can spoil it, too.' There is no way I'm getting between Penny and her chocolate prince. Those two can figure it out on their own!"

Casey, still determined, countered, "Don Juan DeMarco…"

"Who is a movie character," Gaby groused.

Casey continued as if she hadn't heard her sister-in-law. "…said, 'There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio: What is sacred? Of what is spirit made? What is worth living for? What is worth dying for? The answer to each is only love.'"

"You prepared for my argument!"

Casey just smiled as Starlight added, "We do owe Penelope. Who was it that flew to Spain when you were in the hospital with pneumonia and pregnant with your youngest so she could help Eddy take care of your other three so you wouldn't worry?"

"Penny," Gaby quickly yet defiantly agreed.

"And who organized a baby shower for me when I found out I was pregnant after Charlie had already been deployed to take my mind off the fact that he wouldn't met our child until she was almost a year old?"

"Penny."

"And who researched alternative proteins for me when Rainbow was diagnosed with a peanut allergy?"

"Penny," Gaby sighed. "And she even helped Mary when Mary got stuck on the side of the road and couldn't reach John, despite the fact that Mary has never been very nice to her (or anyone) and never said thank you."

"See," Casey pleaded. "Penelope deserves a wonderful Christmas present from all of us. Don't you think?"

Gaby finally gave in with a nod. Both Casey and Starlight gave a squeal of delight.

"Pero," she added, pointing a finger at Casey. "If we get caught, we are sacrificing you to her anger."

Starlight quickly agreed. "Charlie could be deployed again so she won't kill you."

Casey rolled her eyes good naturedly, but agreed.

"So, how do we go about this?"

Gaby stared at Casey with disbelief. "You're the one that called the meeting!"

"Because I needed help," she explained.

Ignoring their bickering, Starlight thoughtfully said, "We need an inside man. Someone she'll never suspect, but someone who can actually help."

The three women stopped and thought through all the people they knew who worked with Penelope.

Finally, Starlight sighed and shook her head.

"Obviously, the best one would be Derek, but since he's our gift…"

"If we could get him to help," Casey added, "we wouldn't need to do anything."

Gaby, however, gave her sisters-in-law a calculating grin.

"All hope is not lost, my hermanas. I think I have an idea."

Smiling, the other two leaned closer and Starlight said, "Do tell."

Sisters, sisters. Never were there such devoted sisters. ...Irving Berlin

***

Jealousy feeds upon suspicion, and it turns into fury or it ends as soon as we pass from suspicion into certainty.

...La Rochefoucauld, Maxims

J.J. and Emily stared at the floral display in amazement. The vase itself was crystal and obviously expensive. Inside were red, pink, yellow, and orange Gerbera Daisies. The bright, happy arrangement seemed just like their friend.

"Garcia, this is the most realistic silk flowers I have ever seen," Emily said.

J.J. agreed. "They're gorgeous. Who sent them?"

Penelope laughed and handed over the card that came with the arrangement.

"I have no idea. The block writing makes it impossible for me to tell if I've seen it before."

Taking the card from J.J., Emily read the message out loud.

"To my beautiful temptress." All three women giggled over that appellation. "May this insignificant floral arrangement brighten your day and bring the sunshine I call your smile, to your face. From your devoted yet silent servant."

Once again, the women giggled.

Smiling, J.J. said, "Well, he sounds interesting."

"I would like to meet him," Emily added.

Plucking the card out of Emily's hand, Penelope said, "I'll be sure to introduce you once I find out who he is."

Derek came into Penelope's office to find the three women on his team giggling happily. Raising an eyebrow, he asked, "What's going on?"

"Garcia has a secret admirer," J.J. replied in a sing song voice.

Derek turned to Penelope for confirmation and she just handed him the card.

After reading the short missive, Derek handed it back and said, "Remember to run a background check on him and to meet in a public place."

Penelope rolled her eyes while Emily reprimanded him.

"Gee, take away all the romance, Morgan."

"I just want Garcia to be careful."

"I'm a big girl, Derek. I can take care of myself."

"But…"

Anymore arguing or explaining on Derek's part was interrupted by J.J.'s cell phone.

"Sorry, guys. Looks like we have a case."

***

It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man. ...Miranda Ingram

"Our contact said there is no noticeable change in their relationship," Casey told her sisters.

"Well, it is just day one," Gaby argued. "Derek doesn't know if the man behind the flowers is serious."

"Gabs is right," Starlight agreed from her reclined position on the bed. "We knew going in that it would take more than one attempt. By the way, these chocolates are awesome. Where did you get these?" she asked, holding up the large box.

"An airport," Gaby replied with a shrug. "I don't remember which one."

"Well, it's made in Switzerland," Casey replied, grabbing the box lid.

"That doesn't narrow it down for me," Gaby answered as she joined her sisters on the bed.

"Hey, did you know that there are holidays dedicated to chocolate?" Casey asked as she read the inside of the box.

As Starlight reached forward to grab another chocolate, she said, "There should be. I could live off chocolate."

Before popping a chocolate into her mouth, Gaby teased, "I thought you didn't believe in eating anything that wasn't entirely organic."

"I make an exception for the ambrosia of the gods."

Casey interrupted their arguing when she exclaimed, "Chocolate Covered Anything Day is tomorrow!"

"Makes me wish I was home with my husband," Starlight sighed.

"Really, Star," Gaby scolded. "I did not need to know that."

Starlight smirked as she replied, "I bet Penny would love it if we dipped Derek in chocolate and dropped him off at her home."

"Well, we could try, but the idiot would probably just let him take a shower instead of trying to lick it off."

Casey, frustrated with the fact that her sisters seemed to be missing the point, snapped, "We can use this."

"Use what?" Gaby asked.

"Chocolate Covered Anything Day."

"You know," Starlight replied thoughtfully. "That just might work. And, I know some quotes about chocolate we might want to throw in."

Gaby turned to her sister and stared at her in complete disbelief. "You know quotes about chocolate."

"Honey, I live by the thirteen rules of chocolate. Number one being: Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want."

Gaby thought about this before picking up another chocolate and saying, "I can live with that. Let's get started."

"About time," Casey muttered to herself.

Derek walked into Penelope's office, ready to ask her to help him run a search, when he saw the banner.

"Happy Chocolate Covered Anything Day!!!" was hanging against the wall facing the door.

Looking around the room, Derek realized that every spare space and parts of the floor were covered with tins and boxes of chocolate covered food. Laughing, Derek grabbed a handful of chocolate covered peanuts and tossed them into his mouth.

"Happy Holidays, baby girl."

Penelope turned to see him chomping on the nuts and raised an eyebrow. "I hope those aren't poisoned."

"Huh?"

"From my secret admirer," she explained, handing over a card.

In the same block script as the day before was, "As Milton Zelman said, my love, 'Giving chocolate to others is an intimate form of communication, a sharing of deep, dark secrets.' In that vein, my only, I send you all my secrets and celebrate Chocolate Covered Anything Day with you. From your devoted yet silent servant."

As soon as he realized the nuts came from the secret admirer, Derek spit the ones in his mouth out into Penelope's garbage can. As soon as he finish reading the card, however, Derek said, "Where's yesterday's card?"

"Why?" Penelope asked, eyes narrowed dangerously.

"I want to get Reid to analyze the handwriting and see if he can come up with anything. And, baby girl, I don't want you eating any of this."

"You know, not ever man who appears to like me is a psychotic killer!"

"I'd rather be safe than sorry, goddess."

Anger bubbling to the surface, Penelope snapped, "I'll have you know that Rossi said that with the security measures already in place that this food should be fine."

Derek's eyes widened and he felt a little hurt that Penelope went to someone else. Not wanting to let her know that, however, Derek straightened his shoulders and ground out, "We're creating a profile on this guy. You know nothing about him and…"

Penelope had seen the hurt and felt vindicated. His quick recovery, however, insured that she wasn't going to tell him that Rossi was just the first agent she came across after she found her office decorated like it was.

Derek's comment, Penelope felt, crossed the line. Interrupting his diatribe, she grabbed the tin of chocolate covered peanuts and launched it at him as she yelled, "Get out! Now! Get out of my office Agent Morgan! I mean it!"

Derek didn't have much of a choice as she kept throwing tins of nuts at his head. He had to back into the hall just so he wouldn't be hit. Once he was outside her office door, Penelope slammed it shut with a bang.

Anyone in the area, looked over at the noise to see an angry yet completely confused Derek Morgan. Seeing that he was the center of attention, Derek was tempted to just walk away. But, he didn't.

"Fine! But, don't blame me when he shoots you!"

"Go to hell!" Penelope's voice yelled through the door.

Everyone watched Derek storm away with big eyes. The Garcia sister-in-laws' contact, however, just grinned.

Okay, so Chocolate Covered Anything Day was actually Dec. 16. I wanted to use it in a story, but all I could think of was: Derek entered Penelope's office with a bottle of chocolate and a smile. That, however, is a sentence, not a story. If anyone else can think of something good to do with Chocolate Covered Anything Day, feel free.

Oh, and I looked it up, you will not believe what all you can have dipped in chocolate. From peppers to potato chips, the possibilities are endless!

***

Music expresses that which can not be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. ...Victor Hugo

"What are you two doing?" Casey exclaimed more than asked.

Neither woman looked up as Gaby calmly replied, "We are using an Ouija board."

Before Casey could possibly ask why, Starlight added, "We're stuck on ideas so we're asking the spirits."

Casey shook her head with disbelief. Rolling her eyes, she declared, "Well, wonder no more. I just got off the phone with our contact and got today's situation all set up."

At her sisters' looks of interest, Casey handed them her outline with a smile.

Before she could start explaining the genius of her plan, however, Starlight said, "Let us first ask the spirits."

Scowling, Casey reached down and quickly grabbed the handpiece to spell y-e-s.

"Look at that," she sarcastically exclaimed. They agree with me."

"I don't believe that's how it's done," Gaby replied with a grin.

"Well, I wanted to answer before you two could get the board to say 'No Way!' "

"Really?" Starlight asked. "I would have just gone with an emphatic 'n-o' myself."

"Oh, well that would have created a problem because I was feeling that the spirits were going to say 'Nope'," Gaby teased.

As Gaby and Starlight giggled over the idea of them fighting over the board, Casey flopped down on the floor next to them and said, "Well, it doesn't matter what the spirits might have said. I've already got it all set up."

"Oh?" Gaby asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes. Evidently our contact has a few favors to be called in or something...I wasn't really paying attention. Either way, it's all set up."

"Do you think it will work?" Starlight asked with some concern. "I mean, our contact did say that Pen was launching those nut tins at Derek like they were missiles. Maybe this is too early?"

"No," Gaby decided. "Besides, it really doesn't matter. Casey said it was already set up. And," she added with a cat that ate the canary grin. "It will just jack up the tension for tonight."

Eyes sparkling, Starlight said, "Two in one day. Do we dare?"

Glad to finally have everyone on board with her plan, Casey quickly nodded. "I say, we dare not."

Derek hurried to catch up with the elevator, only to pause when he realized the only person on it was Penelope. Swallowing his pride, or perhaps gathering his courage, Derek stepped in.

"Good morning…" Derek stuttered to a halt when he realized that he wasn't sure if he should call her baby girl.

Penelope nodded back, but her heart dropped when she realized that any and all terms of endearment were gone.

The elevator ride was rife with tension as both had a multitude of things they wanted to say, but didn't dare. Derek wanted to ask about her…stalker…but was afraid of making things worse. Penelope longed to apologize for the bruise on his cheek, but didn't want to give Derek the satisfaction.

Of course, when the elevator suddenly ground to a complete stop between floors, any and all inner musings were cut off. The stop was so sudden, however, that Penelope lost her footing. Not thinking, just acting, Derek reached over to steady her.

At the unexpected contact, both looked at each other in surprise. When their eyes met, however, they both jumped back as if they had touched a hot stove.

Nervously clearing his throat, Derek said, "I'll a…call…see what." Giving up, he just pointed at the emergency phone.

Penelope nodded, to show she understood.

Feeling as if the elevator was literally getting smaller by the second, she scurried back until she hit the wall farthest from Derek. Trying to not concentrate on the nearness of her sexy profiler, Penelope tried to clear her mind and think of anything else.

That's when she heard the elevator music for the first time.

The operator at the other end of the line quickly assured Derek that they were all over his problem and it shouldn't be more than a minute or two before the elevator was up and running once again. Hanging up the phone, Derek noticed Penelope staring at the ceiling in horror. Confused, he looked up trying to see what was bothering her.

It didn't take him long to listen to the words.

Cuz I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am.

"Oh, this is not good," both Penelope and Derek thought as they continued to stare at the speakers.

"I never noticed we had elevator music before," Derek said, hoping it would break the tension.

It didn't.

"Neither did I." Long awkward pause later, "I wish they'd play more than those two lines."

"Must have something to do with why the elevator's stuck."

Penelope nodded in agreement, but neither of them really believed that.

Cuz I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am.

In their efforts to avoid looking at one another, Derek and Penelope's eyes accidentally caught. After that, it was like they couldn't possible look away. Unknowingly they moved closer together.

Cuz I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am.

Penelope felt her eyes start to shut as Derek lightly caressed her cheek.

"I hate fighting with you, baby girl."

Slowly opening her eyes, Penelope looked into her favorite chocolate orbs as she said, "I don't like it either, gorgeous."

"Then why do we do it?" Derek asked as he moved his face in closer to hers.

"I don't know. But, I distinctly remember it being your fault."

Derek laughed softly as he nuzzled his nose against Penelope's. He had almost captured his target of her red, red lips, when once again, the elevator jumped to life and they jumped apart.

As the doors opened, Penelope straightened her blouse and hurried out. Regardless of the fact that she was at the wrong floor.

While the doors shut behind her, Derek collapsed against the wall and sighed. Running a hand over his head, he heard a new line sung from the speakers.

Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.

It seemed the elevator music was working once again.

The song mentioned is The Way I Am by Ingrid Michaelson. I thought it sounded just like something Morgan and Garcia would say to each other.

***

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. ...Martha Graham

For a woman who believed that we should all go back to the barter system, Starlight was remarkable good at cards, Casey decided as she lost to her sister-in-law once again. As Starlight racked up her winnings, Gaby came storming into the hotel room. Unfortunately, the dark look was still upon her face.

"¡Ese idiota!¡Pudiéramos haber sido terminados!¡Ellos podrían haber sido juntos!" Gaby yelled while waving her arms around angrily.

Counting her cash, Starlight muttered, "Yes, yes. Our contact's an idiot. Pen still doesn't have her gift." Looking up she added, "Are you done yet?"

Raising an eyebrow, Gaby sardonically added, "Before Star went all vegan/hippy on us, she used to be a card shark in Vegas."

"I was not a card shark. I was a blackjack dealer," Starlight corrected with a smile. "That's how I met my husband."

"Wait a second," Casey protested. "You were…"

"Yes, dear," Starlight interrupted. "I was fleecing you. Now, back to the matter at hand. Gaby, have you calmed down?"

"Six more seconds," Gaby groused as she fell into a nearby chair.

"I know, dear. But, our contact assured us that breaking them up at the last moment would heighten the tension and we wouldn't have any of that backpedaling...the kiss meant nothing crap."

"Ese idiota tenido es mejor correcto," Gaby muttered darkly.

Casey smiled as she replied, "I'd hate to be our contact if this doesn't work."

"Not to worry. It will," Starlight replied confidently. "Tell us, Gaby, did you get your part done?"

"Sí." Sitting up straight and throwing off her dark thoughts, Gaby once again got back to plotting. "I spoke with the modeling agency. They will send Francois tonight."

Grabbing her purse off the floor from where she'd dropped it during her rant, Gaby pulled out a picture and handed it over to her sisters.

Starlight let off a wolf whistle while Casey said, "My oh my. That man is…"

"Adonis personified," Starlight filled in. "Damn, Gabs, tell me he's at least an idiot."

"He's working as a model to put himself through med school."

Casey started laughing. Noticing the looks she was generating, she said, "If after the near miss in the elevator and then seeing Francois all over his 'baby girl,' Derek still does nothing, then I think we should get his head examined."

For the first time since the call from their contact, Gaby smiled. "Girls, I think we are finally reaching a turning point in this crusade."

In a move that surprised the entire BAU team, Hotch and Rossi thought it would be a good idea for the entire team to go out and get drinks together. None of the younger agents were sure what to make of this, but everyone agreed and headed over to a local bar after work.

They couldn't have been there for more than five minutes before Derek was out on the floor dancing with two or three women once again. Not surprisingly, especially after the elevator, Penelope was sending him dagger looks. J.J. and Emily agreed that Derek was lucky to still be standing.

That was, until the music changed.

As the opening cords of Bananarama's song Venus played over the speakers, what could only be described as a resident from Mt. Olympus itself who happened to be the visiting earth, came striding towards the woman with a confident and easy grin.

Stopping next to Penelope, he held out his hand and said, "This song was written for you. You must dance to it."

Glancing at Derek out of the corner of her eye, Penelope smiled and took the proffered hand.

"Penelope Garcia."

"Francois d'Orléans."

Goddess on the mountain top

Burning like a silver flame

The summit of beauty and love

And Venus was her name

As J.J. and Emily watched they started to giggle.

"Wow," Emily said. "Wow."

"I know," J.J. replied. "The way he moves with her…"

"Wow!"

"Yeah," J.J. agreed.

Well, I'm your Venus, I'm your fire

At your desire

By then, Derek had left his bevy of beauties and rejoined his team at their tables.

"Who is that?" he barked, glaring at the dancing couple.

The team, however, completely ignored him.

"I did not know Garcia could move like that," Hotch said it what was obviously awe.

"She must be incredibly limber," Reid agreed.

Rossi, however, argued, "I think it's her partner. I'm not sure Garcia could dance with anyone else like that."

Got what no-one else had

Derek seemed to boil with repressed anger...and unacknowledged jealousy.

"What do they think they're doing?"

Thoughtfully Reid replied, "I think it's supposed to be a form of the Tango, but…"

"Shut up, Reid," Derek snapped. A discourse on their dance movements was not what he wanted.

She's got it

Yeah, baby, she's got it

"I wonder if he has a brother," Emily asked thoughtfully.

"I don't know, but I think we need to ask," J.J. replied.

As the two women giggled, Derek wondered where he could hide the body.

For her part, Penelope was having a marvelous time. Francois was attentive, attractive, had a sexy French accent, and absolutely drove Derek nuts.

The entire time they were there Francois waited on her hand and foot. When it was time to go, Francois offered to escort Penelope to her car, but Derek growled and informed the usurper that he would take care of that.

In response, Francois bent over Penelope's hand and gave it a kiss before saying, "La bonne chance, mon cher. Peut-être votre amant prendra maintenant la notification."

As Penelope started to laugh, Francois gave her a wink and strode off.

Getting all bristly, and wishing he had a clue as to what Francois said...he was to angry to try and figure it out...Derek took Penelope's arm and marched her out to her car.

Watching the retreating figures, J.J. asked, "Did anyone hear what Francois said?"

Emily smiled as she replied, "Francois told her good luck and maybe Morgan will now take notice."

Hearing that, J.J. joined in with the grins.

"Thanks for walking me to my car, handsome," Penelope teased as she got out her keys. "You can run along now."

"I'll wait till you get in your car," Derek informed her.

Rolling her eyes, Penelope opened the door and got in. Before shutting the door once more, she turned to Derek and said, "If you don't like other men paying attention to me, do something about it. Otherwise, leave me alone."

Derek scowled as he watched her drive off. He may have been a profiler, but at the moment he was to upset to interpret that message. Deciding to leave those thoughts till later, Derek trudged morosely over to his bike.

***

If you are ever in doubt as to whether or not you should kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt. ...Thomas Carlyle

"So, let's hear the reports," Starlight said with a grin as she flopped down in a chair.

"I'll go first," Casey excitedly volunteered. "So, our contact said that things went so well last night! After Francois arrived Derek went into a jealous sulking fit."

Gaby laughed. "Francois was more eloquent. He said Penny is beautiful and fascinating and if he didn't have Derek glaring daggers at him and plotting his death, Francois said he would love to better get to know our Penny."

"So, what are you saying?" Starlight asked. "We have a backup plan?"

"No, no, no," Gaby assured her. "Derek's almost ready to fall into the abyss of love."

Casey shook her head as she grinned. "That's really beautiful Gabs."

"No hablar a menos que puedas mejorar en el silencio," Gaby sarcastically replied.

"Don't listen to her Cass, you're improving the silence," Starlight said with a wink.

"So, what now?" Gaby asked. "We are so close to the finish. Derek is primed. We cannot stumble now!"

It was Casey who finally broke the silence. "I think we need a two pronged attack. Something with the secret admirer and something a little more traditional."

"More traditional?" Starlight said thoughtfully. Breaking into laughter, she said, "You know, Cass, I think you're exactly right. More traditional it is."

Derek was tired. He hadn't slept well. Really, he hadn't slept period. Every time he tried, he would see Penelope and that…that French gigolo dancing completely inappropriately.

Now, hours later, it was still bothering him. Derek was supposed to be working, but all he was doing was tapping his pencil against his desk. Emily was ready to throw her own pencil at him, regardless of the fact that she knew why Derek was so agitated.

Seeing Reid enter with a large, elaborately wrapped package, Emily grasped the chance with both hands.

"Reid," she hollered, loud enough to get everyone's attention and stop Derek's tapping.

"What do you got there?"

Lifting the box, he said, "Oh, security asked me to take this to Garcia."

Derek's eyes narrowed. "Who's it from?" he snapped.

"I don't know. I'm not opening my friend's presents."

"I'm coming along," Derek growled.

Reid just nodded and headed towards Penelope's office. Curiosity over coming her, Emily hurried to follow the two men.

Penelope's office had gained decorations in the few hours since they last saw her. Since the sum total of effort had been to practically cover her ceiling and doorway with mistletoe, Emily was fairly certain that Penelope herself had nothing to do with the decorating. This was further confirmed for the female profiler by the slightly flustered look on Penelope's face as two male agents left her office.

Reid obviously picked up on the tension as well because when he spoke, there was an undercurrent of nervousness in his voice.

"Garcia, this was sent up from security for you."

Penelope's brow furrowed as she tried to guess where the present came from. Letting Reid continue to hold the box, Penelope pulled off the top and pulled back the tissue paper. Inside, was a beautiful cream and gold dress. Obviously expensive, Emily decided. And maybe more lingerie than dress.

With a growl, Derek grabbed the included and matching card. Between teeth that he was obviously grinding, he read the card aloud.

"My dearest Goddess, I saw you dance to Venus last night. I heard your companion say it was written for you. He was right. If only I could get up the nerve to talk to you, to love you, my most beautiful, extraordinary Goddess. Please except this tribute from a mere, unworthy mortal. This dress was meant to be worn by a Goddess like you. From your devoted yet silent servant."

Turning on his heels, Derek snarled, "I'm going to kill him."

"Who?" Penelope snapped, stepping into the doorway. "Who are you going to kill, Morgan?"

"The bastard who keeps sending you all of this…this stuff!"

"Well, you're going to have a hard time with that since we don't know who he is!"

"I'm going to go talk to security. I'll hunt him down."

"Maybe I don't want you to!"

"What?!"

It was obvious that this thought had never occurred to Derek. Penelope, however, didn't elaborate. Instead, she took the box from Reid and leaned forward to give him a quick peck.

"Merry Christmas, you sweet boy. Thank you for bringing my package up."

Reid and Emily both glanced towards Derek, ready to move at a moments notice if Mt. St. Morgan erupted.

Anything Derek may or may not have done, however, was curtailed by the appearance of Rossi. Stepping up to her doorway with a large file, Rossi glanced up, saw the mistletoe, pulled her into a kiss, and then spoke as if he hadn't just laid one on the computer tech.

"Garcia, I was wondering if you could run a search for me?"

Derek suddenly hated mistletoe with a passion that out distanced any feelings he'd ever had before. Circumstances could not continue as they were. He would make sure of it!

***

But I do know people that have stalkers and it's not nice. ...Daniel Craig

"I can't believe we're doing this," Casey muttered fearfully as she and her sister-in-laws skulked through a dark, empty parking garage. "Are you sure we won't get arrested?"

"If our contact wants to retain all limbs," Gaby growled.

With a light laugh, Starlight added, "So, then yes. We should be fine."

"What I really can't believe is that you two came prepared for this! I call and ask for help with a Christmas gift for Penelope and you two bring entirely black outfits, black gloves, and black ski masks!"

"I can't believe you didn't," Gaby countered.

"It really is standard fare for all Garcia family shopping trips," Starlight further elaborated. "With as long as you've been a member of this family, you would think you would know that by now."

Casey rolled her eyes, but continued to follow her sister-in-laws through the maze of cars.

Finally, Gaby stopped. "There she is. Penelope's pride and joy. Spread out, everyone take a wheel."

Each woman went to a tire and started to let the air out. After several minutes, and not much damage being done, Starlight popped up from her side of the car and said in a carrying whisper, "This is taking to long. They'll never be flat by the time she gets here."

Casey stood up as well, so that she could see Gaby.

"Star's right. This isn't going to work."

Gaby nodded her agreement as she screwed the air cap back on.

"I brought knives."

"Hand them over," Starlight instructed. "Make sure you slit both the tires on your side."

Once they got the knifes in, the ladies found that the tires quickly lost air with only a few puncture points.

"Just a second ladies," Starlight said as they regrouped to leave. "Pen's last note from her stalker. I kept it simple this time."

"Awesome," Gaby replied with a feral grin.

Casey just chuckled wickedly.

It had been a long day at the office and Penelope just wanted to go home. For just a little while, she wanted to forget anything and everything that had to do with the BAU. And, that definitely included Derek Morgan.

Seeing the card on her windshield, Penelope dropped her things in the passenger seat before grabbing it. She was glad she did when she read what was written.

In large, familiar block letters was the sentence, "Need a ride?"

Freaking out, Penelope backed up into the car parked next to her and looked around. No one. The place was empty. And then she saw her tires.

Derek was sullenly making his way to his truck when he heard Penelope scream. Taking off at a run, Derek soon arrived to see Penelope staring at her car in horror, a white card barely gripped in her shaking hands.

Hurrying forward, Derek pulled Penelope into his arms where she immediately started to cry.

Rocking her gently and stroking her back, Derek soothingly said, "It's alright, baby girl. I've got you. I've got you. It's okay, baby girl. I'll protect you. It's okay."

Finally her sobs lessened and Penelope pulled back with red rimmed eyes. Handing him the card, she said, "My tires are slashed."

After a quick glance, Derek shoved the card into his pocket and drew her back to him.

"Mama, do you have an overnight bag with you?"

"In the trunk."

"Grab your purse and your bag. You're coming home with me."

"Derek…"

"Do not argue with me, Penelope. This guy is dangerous. I don't want you being on your own. You're staying with me."

Giving in, Penelope nodded before going to do as he said.

Upon arriving at his place, Derek insisted that Penelope take a shower and change her clothes. After that, they had some dinner Derek threw together, before curling up on the couch to watch a movie.

About thirty minutes into the movie, Derek looked down at the blonde in his arms and smiled. She was sound asleep. Tucking her closer to his body, Derek pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

In that moment, he came to a decision. As soon as they caught the bastard who was tormenting his baby girl, Derek was going to tell her loved her. He didn't want to take advantage of her during such an emotional time, but he also didn't want to have to be without his girl ever again.

And with that, Derek Morgan fell into the most peaceful sleep he had ever had.

***

We are pretty much between a rock and a hard place. We don't need sympathy. We need help. ...Sam Bova

Starlight adjusted her binoculars as she stared intently at the complex across the street from her. Hiding in some foliage, Starlight spied on her unsuspecting victims with an agility that would surprise many who knew of her peace-loving nature.

"I've got a lock on the targets," she whispered into her phone's headpiece. "They're moving in."

"You do know that we're not the CIA, Star," Casey's voice said over the phone line.

"Ha," Starlight laughed. "The CIA knows nothing of dangerous covert operations."

"I know, Pen will kill us if…"

"Are you kidding? I'm more worried about Derek."

"Derek?"

Shifting in the foliage to stretch out some cramps, Starlight elaborated. "Pen loves us. She may be angry, but she won't kill us. Derek has no emotional investment in us and we upset his girl. We're just all going to have to hope and pray that we get out of town before they figure out what's going on."

An audible gulp came across the line, followed by a long pause, before Casey gathered her thoughts enough to speak.

"Did you just now think of this?"

"Are you kidding, Gaby and I knew who was the most dangerous going in. It was a sacrifice we were willing to make for Pen's happiness. You're not wimping out on us now, are you?"

"Of course not! It's just…my daughter's barely a year old…"

"Shush! The targets are on the move. I repeat, the targets are on the move."

"Star, we're on the phone. Not some scratchy radio."

"Target One is dressed in the appropriate colors," Starlight replied, ignoring her sister's comment. "Repeat, Target One is ready."

"Did Pen actually have a chance to wear anything else? I thought you put all of her inappropriate colors with the dirty laundry."

"Stop arguing. Hang up with me and call Gaby. You're the middle man, Cass. Relay the information."

"And what are you going to do?"

"Wait until it's clear. I'll meet you back at the hotel as soon as I'm able."

"Roger," Casey replied with mock seriousness. "Over and out."

Starlight may have rolled her eyes at the younger woman's antics, but she did smile as well.

Emily Prentiss felt sick. There was no way this was going to end well. Hunching over her desk, in an attempt to make it harder for someone to overhear her, she argued, "I can't do that!"

"I am disappointed in you, Emily," Gaby replied with all the guilt inducing tone she had perfected on her four boys over the last twelve years. "We've come this far and at the finish line you balk?"

"How do you know they didn't resolve things? It is…"

"We watched them last night. Derek said nothing."

"Watching and hearing…"

"Radio-Shack," Gaby assured her. "We know. Derek has yet to admit anything."

"Morgan and Garcia will kill me! It will be obvious I helped you…"

Gaby interrupted with a snort of disbelief. "If you can't handle two teammates who like you, I don't know how you ever handle those crazy unsubs."

"Gaby, it's not that I don't want to help…"

"It's just that you fear for your own safety over your friends' happiness. Friends who would take a bullet for you. Friends…"

"Oh, stop. I'll do it."

"Thank you."

"I'll need some help. There are two of them."

"Ask J.J. or Hotch, I don't care. But, don't ask Reid. They'd suspect he's up to something right off."

With that, Gaby hung up the phone and Emily was stuck. As she shut her own phone, Emily saw J.J. Hurrying over to her friend, she said, "Would you help me with a Christmas present for Garcia?"

"Sure," J.J. innocently agreed. She too was swiftly caught.

"What could you possible need in this closet?" Derek asked Emily a bit impatiently. He had been working on creating a profile for Penelope's stalker and he didn't appreciate being interrupted for such an insignificant reason.

"Please, Morgan," Emily pleaded. "It will just take half a minute and then I'll help you with the profile."

"Fine," Derek groused as he pulled open the door.

Before he could ask what Emily needed, Derek felt a hard shove to his back and went stumbling in. The door then slammed shut and Derek could hear the lock click shut.

"What the…"

"I wouldn't bother," Penelope's voice said.

Turning around, Derek found her sitting on a box looking up at him.

"J.J.'s working with her. She unlocked the door just before Emily locked you in."

"Oh," was all Derek could manage to say.

With his newly realized feelings, Derek felt more uncomfortable locked in a small space with Penelope than he should. He wanted to tell her how he felt, but he wanted it on his own terms. Not because he was locked in a closet with her.

Just as Derek was trying to decide what they should talk about during their no doubt extended stay, they were suddenly being rained on.

Penelope started to laugh. "You set off the sprinklers, hot stuff."

Instead of responding, Derek looked up at the sprinklers wondering what J.J. and Emily could possibly accomplish with this stunt. That was until he looked back down.

Penelope was wearing white.

There was a reason all wet t-shirt contests were conducted in white t-shirts. Every curve showed. Derek could clearly see the outline of her bra.

This really wasn't helping his wait resolve.

Penelope could feel the tension raise and could tell Derek's eyes were on her, despite the fact that she couldn't see through her wet glasses. Scooting back against the wall, Penelope took a deep, calming breath. J.J. and Emily couldn't keep them in here for long. The sprinklers were bound to get the attention of someone.

Crossing her arms over chest, Penelope wished she'd had something clean to wear other than white this morning.

While the deep breaths might have been calming for Penelope, they did the complete opposite for Derek. Seeing her ample chest rise and fall like that…the arm crossing, however, did him in.

Before either really knew what was happening, Derek pulled Penelope up against him and kissed her.

The kiss was unexpected, but not unwanted. Taking advantage of the moment, Penelope threw her arms around Derek's neck and pulled in.

Happy with the results, Derek pulled her as close as possible. Now that he was finally kissing his baby girl, Derek had no intention of stopping anytime soon.

Penelope was right about the sprinklers catching attention. They hadn't been kissing long when Hotch threw the door to their little closet open.

The noise startled the couple and they jumped apart. Realizing that Hotch and now the entire team was staring at her, Penelope once again crossed her arms in an attempt to cover herself.

Seeing this, Hotch took off his suit coat and silently handed it over.

"Thank you," Penelope quietly said as she slipped the coat on and hurried out of there.

Derek didn't need to be a profiler to know what was going through Penelope's mind. Hurrying past Hotch and the rest of the team, Derek ignored their questions and hurried after his goddess.
"Baby girl, wait."

Penelope stopped, more because she was hoping that that would make less of a scene than fleeing and Derek chasing her.

Seeing her stiff posture, Derek prayed he hadn't blown it as he careful turned her around to face him.

"I love you, Penelope. I've been acting like a jealous idiot because I'm in love with you."

"Really?"

Never before had heard his girl sound so small. Pulling her as close to him as possible, Derek said, "Oh, mama, I don't want to be with anyone else but you."

Looking up at him with tears in her beautiful eyes, Penelope said, "I love you, too, Derek Morgan."

"Good, because you're stuck with me, baby girl."

"I wouldn't want it any other way, my chocolate Adonis."

Derek didn't waste anytime getting reacquainted with her lips.

Penelope was gathering up her things to leave for the day. Since they were both soaking wet, Hotch had given them the afternoon off...cases pending, of course.

Just as she was about to head off to find Derek, Rossi came into her office and shut the door.

"Can I help you?"

Stern faced and cold, Rossi said, "I need to speak with you about the inappropriate office behavior of you and Agent Morgan."

Wide-eyed, Penelope nodded. "Okay."

After waiting all this time to be with Derek, Penelope wasn't sure what she was going to say to Rossi's lecture on agent fraternization. But, she knew they weren't going down without a fight.

***

But few have spoken of the actual pleasure derived from giving to someone, from creating something, from finishing a task, from offering unexpected help almost invisibly and anonymously. ...Paul Wiener

Well, according to their contact, it was all over. Surprisingly, the sisters were a little let down. After working that hard it was just over. There didn't seem to be any closure.

"I don't know why I feel down," Casey said, voicing all their thoughts. "I'm beyond happy that they're together."

Starlight nodded. "It probably has something to do with the fact that we thought Penelope would skin us alive and twelve hours later...nothing."

"That's just as well," Gaby replied. "We'd probably have ended up making it worse if we did talk to them."

Snapping her luggage shut, Gaby looked around her hotel room. Everything was packed up. By this time the next day, she'd be home with her boys and getting ready for Christmas Eve. She'd feel better once she got home, Gaby decided.

Hearing a knock at her door, Gaby turned to her sisters and said, "I'll get it."

Both of them just nodded languidly.

On the other side of the door was a hotel bellboy. "Mrs. Gabriele Garcia?"

"Sí."

"This is for you," he said, handing over an envelope that was blank except for her name. "It arrived just a few minutes ago."

"Gracias."

Casey and Starlight looked up as Gaby walked back towards them. It wasn't long after pulling the paper out of the envelope, however, that Gaby burst out laughing.

Hurrying over, each woman leaned over one of Gaby's shoulders as Casey asked, "What?"

"Read," Gaby commanded, holding the paper out so it was easier for the other two to see.

In Gaby's hands was a bill for four new tires. At the bottom was a sticky note. Written in Penelope's distinctive hand were the words: "Thanks! But never try helping me again."

Reading that, the other two women started to giggle, too.

"So, I guess we split the bill three ways, huh?" Casey asked with a smile.

"No," Starlight swiftly replied.

"Hey, I know you said you would sacrifice me to Pen's anger, but I can't possible afford to pay this bill on my own. She went to the absolutely most expensive place in the area to get new tires," Casey protested indignantly.

Gaby and Starlight exchanged a look and a grin before Starlight answered.

"I was thinking that Mary would be so upset to be left out of the group present to Pen."

"While I'm completely behind you," Gaby replied, "I don't think she would actually pay it if we sent her the bill."

Pulling a piece of paper out of her pocket, Starlight said, "Then I guess it's a good thing I have all of her credit card information here."

"How did you get that?" Casey exclaimed, grabbing the paper from Starlight.

"Mary keeps her credit cards in the cookie jar so she won't be tempted to spend. I stopped at their house on my way here. And, I might have had a cookie or two."

"And decided to take a copy of her credit card number just in case?" Gaby asked, eyes twinkling with laughter.

Taking the paper from Casey, Starlight pointed out, "I even got that extra number off the back. You know I don't have any credit cards. I was sure Mary wouldn't mind sharing the bounty."

As Casey started to laugh, Gaby looked back down at Penelope's note on the tire bill.

Sighing happily, she said, "Vivieron felices y comieron perdices."

Starlight's grin widened. "They will live happily together."

"But why are they eating partridge?" Casey asked.

"Shush," Starlight replied.

"It's an old family saying," Gaby protested.

"Shush," Starlight repeated. "Let's just enjoy the moment. We did it!"

And with that, all three women started to squeal.

One of the nice things about Christmas time was that it lent itself to soft lighting. At the moment, only the Christmas tree and a lamp or two lit Penelope's living room where she and Derek were spooning on the couch.

Turning so she could see his face, Penelope was lying slightly underneath Derek, a fact that bothered neither of them. Wrapping her arms around him, Penelope settled back into his embrace.

Derek had to admit, he liked cuddling this way with her better than anything so far. Sighing happily, he gave her a quick kiss. Penelope snuggled closer.

Deciding that no matter how much he was enjoying himself, they needed to clear the air about a few things, Derek said, "Now tell me what Rossi said once again, baby girl."

"Still can't believe it?" Penelope teased.

"Stop wiggling," he replied with a grin. "You know I can't think with you wiggling."

"Oh?"

That got her another kiss.

"What did Rossi say?"

"That it was all Gaby's fault and he has no idea why he went along with it."

"She was wearing red," Derek replied matter-of-factly. "Garcia women are irresistible in red. I know," he added with a slight growl.

Penelope was wearing red.

Laughing at his reply, she added, "Eddy has always said that Gaby took Harry S. Truman's quote of 'If you cannot convince them, confuse them,' as her life motto. Rossi didn't have a chance."

"So, Rossi was your sister-in-laws contact the entire time?"

"Yes."

"What about Emily and J.J.'s little stunt?"

"According to Rossi, Gaby had been swearing at him in Spanish since he let us out of the elevator too quickly."

"So, she got some who would take orders and not deviate from the plan."

"Right. It was their last big chance. They have to fly home today if they're going to make it home in time to be with their families for Christmas."

"And the inappropriate office behavior?"

"Was all his fault." Laughing, Penelope added, "I don't think I've ever seen Rossi so nervous before. He knew you'd be worried about the stalker thing after our matchmakers slit my tires."

"He made you promise that we would never interfere with case work again! I don't think that's our fault, baby girl."

"Oh, it was completely his fault and Gaby would testify to that if asked."

Raising an eyebrow, Derek settled his weight against her, and kissed Penelope quick for good measure.

"What are you saying, mama?"

"Rossi owes us and he knows it."

"Um, you have a devious mind."

That comment, of course, required another kiss.

"That turns you on, hot stuff?"

"You know it, goddess."

After another protracted moment of kissing, Penelope pulled back to look into Derek's eyes.

"It bothered me when my secret admirer called me goddess."

"I wanted to rip his head off."

"I know. That was very, very sexy."

This time, Derek pulled back from their kiss to say, "So, we're going to hold onto Rossi until we need a favor. What about your sisters? Are you just going to let them off with paying for your tires?"

Penelope thought about that for a second before saying, "It depends. If it weren't for them, we wouldn't be laying here on my couch."

"Not so quickly at any rate. I would have figured out my feeling for you sooner or later," Derek declared.

After giving him a quick peck, Penelope replied, "You keep thinking that, gorgeous."

Subsequent to Derek's kissing his baby girl in retaliation for that last remark, he asked, "So what does it depend on?"

"If they actually pay for my tires."

***

Next story in series - Best Served Cold.