Title: The trouble with teenagers
By: lilithangel
Pairings: gen
Rating: PG
Series: 1) Jack could totally take Wonder Woman, 2) Growing up is hard to do
Summary: set directly after Jack could totally take Wonder Woman. Owen and Ianto were mentally regressed to children and are still re-aging. Jack still has them locked in a cell and they are getting bored.

***

“I’m bored.” Owen tossed the PSP onto the bunk in disgust.

Ianto ignored him, concentrating on the game he was playing. “Did it, I am the champion,” he said triumphantly.

“Yeah well I’m bored,” Owen repeated.

“Just cause you’re a loser,” Ianto crowed.

“Shut up,” Owen retaliated.

“How old do you feel now?” Ianto asked.

“Dunno,” Owen said, “obviously not old enough.” He glared at the camera. “How about you?”

“Maybe fourteen,” Ianto guessed.

“Who do you fancy?” Owen said.

“What?”

“Who do you fancy? You still got a hard on for Wonder Woman?”

“I never had a hard on for Wonder Woman,” Ianto said, insulted.

“Yeah you did.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“Normally I’d say that confirms you’re both still kids,” Jack said from outside the cell, “but with you two who can tell.”

Owen glowered at Jack, “you going to let us out?”

“Nope,” Jack said with a grin.

“It’s boring in here,” Owen said with a pout.

“I’ve got to go to the bathroom,” Ianto said.

“Alright, but both of you behave,” Jack said with a sigh.

“Don’t perve then,” Owen said rolling his eyes.

They slouched out of the cell when Jack unlocked it. Ianto still looked tidy despite shedding his coat jacket and tie, but still managed a convincing slouch. Owen was as dishevelled as always and managed to look like he was plotting something even when he wasn’t.

Ianto’s eyes lit up and he winked at Owen. Owen looked at him in confusion but nodded briefly. As they stepped through the exit to the cells Ianto spun around and slammed the door in Jack’s face.

Owen laughed and added his own weight to the door. “It won’t hold him for long you know.”

“I just realised,” Ianto said with a smirk, “I know everything about the Hub, including the override password. It just has to hold him long enough for us to get up to a computer.”

“Excellent,” Owen said, “let’s get moving then.”

They could hear Jack pounding on the door and could guess what the muffled words were as they race up towards the main Hub.

Ianto jostled Owen out of the way and logged on a computer.

“Marigold, the password is Marigold?” Owen said in disbelief.

“Jack’s working through flowers; it has to be changed every week. Luckily he hadn’t got around to it yet which isn’t surprising since I have to remind him most of the time.”

“Do you find it weird to have all these memories of doing things?” Owen asked.

“Sometimes,” Ianto said as he locked the main exit from the cells so Jack couldn’t get out. “Some of the stuff we do is pretty weird and nasty.”

“Like kissing Jack?” Owen said slyly.

“Shut up,” Ianto said bringing up the CCTV to the garage. “You’re just jealous.”

“Are not.”

“Are too.”

Owen snorted and then grinned when he saw the SUV. “Road trip!”

A phone rang and they both jumped guiltily. Owen nudged Ianto who picked up the receiver.

“Hello?”

“Ianto, if you unlock the door now I am willing to forget this ever happened,” Jack said.

Owen grabbed the received off Ianto. “Sorry Jack, we’ll let you out… not!” He hung up with a grin.

“Jack’s going to kill us,” Ianto said, his eyes wide.

“Nah, he won’t. You can just flash those cute puppy eyes and he won’t be able to resist.”

“You think I’m cute?” Ianto said.

“Shut up,” Owen said with a blush, “let’s get out of here.”

Two hours later they tumbled back into the Hub, shoving and jostling each other playfully and clutching cans of beer.

“Tell me you did not drink and drive,” Jack said, glaring at them.

“As if,” Owen said looking at him defiantly.

“How did you get out?” Ianto asked him.

“Marigold isn’t the only override password,” Jack answered, “I should take the pair of you over my knee.” He held out his hand for the beer.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Owen said, dropping the empty can into his hand.

“Locking me in, running off, taking the SUV without permission and oh god I’m turning into my father…” Jack groaned. “If spanking isn’t in the rule book for bosses it should be.”

“You shouldn’t have locked us in,” Ianto said looking at Jack with a wounded expression. He had put his beer can into the rubbish as soon as he had finished.

“I know you were bored,” Jack said, “but it was for your own good.”

“Can we stay up here now please Jack,” Ianto said, turning on the puppy eyes.

“Alright, but don’t touch anything,” Jack said, trying to sound severe.

“Thanks Jack,” Ianto smiled and Owen rushed over to his desk.

“You will not surf for porn,” Jack said to Owen who pouted at him.

“Come on Jack, we’re of age, what else is there to do?” Owen grumbled.

“No,” Jack said firmly.

“Can I go to an online gaming site then?”

“Gambling?” Jack was surprised.

“No, gaming,” Owen said with exaggerated patience, “you have a persona and you fight monsters and stuff.”

Jack sighed. “Fine but be careful, Tosh hates it when we let viruses in.”

Owen whooped and promptly ignored the other two to log on. Ianto hung back looking nervous.

“Something wrong Ianto?” Jack asked him.

“Can I make coffee?”

“Of course you can,” Jack said in surprise, “do you want to?”

Ianto nodded and dashed off to the kitchen.

“Make mine black with two sugars,” Owen called after him.

“That’s not how you drink your coffee,” Jack said in surprise.

“It is now,” Owen replied refusing to admit he thought it was more adult to drink coffee black.

Ianto returned with a tray and three cups which he distributed to Jack and Owen before taking his own and settling in at Gwen’s station.

Satisfied that the two were not going to cause any trouble Jack took his coffee back to his office.

As soon as Jack wasn’t looking Owen flicked over to another screen. Ianto leaned over to see what Owen was looking at and blushed.

Owen grinned, “come on, it’s hot,” he whispered.

“It’s an orgy,” Ianto whispered back, “and that guy is doing stuff to another guy…”

“Oh come on, you’re bi aren’t you?” Owen snorted.

“Not officially, not yet,” Ianto said with a blush.

“So that makes you how old?” Owen asked curiously. He took a sip of his coffee and hide the grimace.

“Sixteen,” Ianto said his eyes fixed on the screen.

“Good,” Owen said, “let’s go and fool around then.”

“What?” Ianto looked at Owen in shock.

Owen’s face fell but he rallied, “your face is priceless,” he laughed, “go back to your coffee.”

“You want to fool around with me?” Ianto asked tentatively.

Owen looked at him carefully and then nodded. “Yeah, why not?”

“I thought you were straight,” Ianto confessed.

“Am mostly. Don’t fancy many blokes.”

“You fancy me. Why?” Ianto sounded genuinely confused.

“You’re good looking and smart, what’s not to fancy?” Owen said keeping his gaze firmly on the computer.

“That’s Jack, not me,” Ianto said.

“Jack’s an idiot,” Owen said.

“Jack’s not that stupid and he’s listening.” Jack’s voice made them both jump.

“Stop sneaking up on us,” Owen complained, switching screens quickly.

“There will be no fooling around,” Jack said sternly, “at least not until you’re completely back to normal.”

Owen perked up at the amendment and then looked sad. “I’m going to get some sleep,” he said heading for the sofa.

Ianto looked at him with concern and glared at Jack. “You upset him.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Jack protested.

“What’s wrong?” Ianto followed Owen.

“Nothing.” Owen’s voice was muffled by the sofa. “Leave me alone.”

“Something’s wrong,” Ianto pressed.

“Don’t worry; everything will go back to normal tomorrow we can go back to hating each other and forget this ever happened.” Owen had enjoyed the way he and Ianto had been getting on and the way Jack was treating him, it hurt to think that that would all disappear when the alien stuff wore off.

“I don’t hate you,” Ianto said, sitting on the edge of the sofa.

“Yeah you do, you said so often enough.” Owen rolled over and faced Ianto, “I’m a prat remember? It’s true, I don’t deserve to be liked or forgiven for what I did. Just forget it right.”

“I don’t want to forget it,” Ianto said.

Jack came over and they both glared at him. “This is your fault,” Owen said.

“How is it my fault?” Jack said, “I’m not the one who messed with something he shouldn’t.”

“Yeah it’s my fault, it’s always my fault,” Owen growled.

“No, you’re right, it is my fault,” Jack said, “I’m the boss I should be able to take care of my team properly.” He was supposed to be the leader and somehow his whole team had fallen to pieces without him even noticing.

“Come on Jack, we’re grown ups,” Owen said taking an about face.

“Things just happen,” Ianto said following Owen’s lead, “it’s nobody’s fault.”

“I think you need to get some sleep,” Jack said. He knew the two were talking about what had happened to them with the coffee but he couldn’t help but think about everything that had led up to Abbadon and him leaving to chase the Doctor.

“Don’t treat us like children,” Ianto said with his own growl.

“I’m not going to win with you two am I?” Jack said with a sigh.

“Nope,” Owen said with a grin, “how about a game of cards then?”

“What sort of game?” Jack asked suspicious of the quick about face.

“Poker?” Ianto suggested.

“Strip?” Owen added.

“I do not need that sort of temptation,” Jack said under his breath.

Owen and Ianto shared a smirk. “You chicken, Jack?” Owen said.

“Think you’re going to lose to a couple of kids?” Ianto said.

“I think I’m the only one here without a problem with nudity and that Gwen would kill me if she found out.”

“Don’t be such a pussy,” Owen said with a roll of his eyes.

Ianto found a pack of cards and shuffled them idly. Jack watched him and he smiled innocently.

“Poker,” Jack said, “but no stripping until everyone’s back to normal.”

An hour later Jack watched over the two sleeping men. Owen had fallen against Ianto and Ianto had tucked him under one arm without realising.

The card game had been surprisingly pleasant and aside from the sleepiness Owen and Ianto did appear to be back to normal. Ianto had turned out to be a bit of a card shark and Jack was very glad they hadn’t been playing for money or clothes.

Tosh had predicted twelve hours and it was around the eleven hour mark so Jack felt safe in leaving the two of them asleep and heading down to get some rest himself.

He paused briefly to tidy Owen’s hair and brushed his thumb across Ianto’s lips. They looked so peaceful snuggled together and kind of hot, if it wasn’t for the fact they still made him feel like a dirty old man he would have taken them up on the strip poker. He was glad he hadn’t though, as long as he could convince them to play another time.

END

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Next story in series - Adult Games.