After

By the time Gil got to the hospital, he"d worked himself up into a quiet lather over the way Warrick had hopped into the ambulance. And the way he"d been holding Nick"s hand. All his insecurities, the ones that never really went away, were screaming at him that the end was just in sight at long last. That Warrick had finally figured out who he truly loved and Gil was going to get his walking papers a polite time after the crisis was over.

He hovered in the hall outside the room to which he"d been directed, seeing Catherine and Warrick and Nick"s parents all crowded inside. They were circled around the bed, naturally, with Catherine and Mrs. Stokes sitting on it, each holding one of Nick"s hands. The young man in question looked haggard and exhausted, covered in dots of what were probably antibiotic cream, but was smiling. So brave. Nick hadn"t given in to the fear or the pain until the very end. He was so much braver than Gil, who knew that he"d have been a quivering wreck before an hour had passed.

Turning away from the bright beacon of family and friendship, never feeling more alone in his life than just then, Gil headed for the exit. He"d gotten about halfway back to the elevator when Warrick called his name from behind. Flinching, he hesitated before reluctantly turning to face his lover. Offering a wan smile as the other strode up to him, he asked, "How"s Nick?"

"Better. Freaked and in pain, but better knowing that fucker"s in the ground," Warrick answered bluntly. His gaze was hazy in more ways than one as he continued, "I think I"m more worried about you now."

"Me? I"m fine."

"Bullshit."

"Warrick, please, not here."

Warrick's gaze narrowed, focusing on him sharply. "What, ...not here?" What's going on in that brain of yours, Gris?"

Sighing, Gil said, "Nothing. I'm just tired."

"Too tired to come in and see Nick after what he"s been through? He's been waiting for you, Gris," Warrick informed him.

Gil couldn"t help another flinch and it deepened Warrick"s frown. He stepped back when the taller man stepped forward and whispered, "I can't, Warrick, please stop."

But Warrick didn"t stop, instead reaching for Gil to pull him close, wrapping his arms around his stiff shoulders. "Can"t what, baby? You know you don"t have to be strong with me. I"m not Cath, or Sara, or even Nicky."

For a brief moment, Gil allowed himself to sag into the other man"s arms, relishing and leaning on his strength. He pressed his face to Warrick"s throat and held on tight for a few seconds before pulling away. Shaking his head, he said, "This isn"t right, Warrick, and it has to stop. You deserve someone better than me, someone like..."

Anger flashed across Warrick"s face and he snapped, "Someone like Nick? Jesus, Gil, I thought we were past this shit already! How many damn times do I have to tell you that I don"t want him? That I don"t love him the way I do you? What"s it going to take to get it into your head?"

Gil looked down at the floor, a migraine blossoming with stunning force behind his eyes. He pushed the heel of his palm to his eye, the alternate pain countering the agony. It was really only surprising that it had taken so long to show up, given the amount of stress he"d been under for the last twenty-four hours. Warrick"s hands guided him to a chair and he sat gratefully, trying not to gasp in pain when sure fingers massaged at the base of his skull. It helped, but not a lot. The only thing that would get rid of this one would be drugs and sleep.

"What am I going to do with you?" Warrick murmured.

A short laugh escaped, setting off a wave of pain, and Gil asked, "Put me out of my misery?"

Bending in close, Warrick stated, "Not gonna happen. I am never leaving you, Gil, and I want you to really hear that. I"m not going to go for someone younger. I"m not going to go for someone who has the same interests as me. I"m not going to go for anyone but you. Ever."

And even though Gil knew just how short-lived vows like that could be, he was in too much pain to do anything but give in. He relaxed into Warrick"s arms, allowing himself to be cradled and supported by someone else"s strength; something that seemed to happen with alarming frequency, since he and Warrick had become lovers.

Soft lips pressed to his temple and Warrick said softly, "It"s okay. Just rest for a bit."

Maybe for just a little while, he thought, resting his head on Warrick"s shoulder.

Just one more time.