Title: Altered
By: nancy
Pairing: Danny/Mac
Rating: R
Warnings: language, mpreg
Note: Thought I would throw in a mpreg in honor of a Happy (belated) Mother's Day. :o)
Summary: Danny gets caught in an explosion, with a disturbing outcome.
Mac shook his head at Flack as he exited the SUV and walked over to the bizarre crime scene of two corpses dressed like scarecrows, complete with straw sticking out of their clothes. As Flack opened his mouth, Mac headed him off with, “Don’t even say it.”
Blue eyes sparkled back at him mischievously as Flack answered, “Say what?”
“Whatever it is that you were going to say,” Mac retorted.
Flack smirked a little. “Well, at least you don’t have to worry about the pigeons messing the scene.”
Mac sighed. Before he could disabuse Flack of the notion that he was funny, his phone rang. He spotted Stella’s ID on the LCD and grinned at Flack as he answered, “Save me from Flack’s puns, Stella, please.”
“Mac, Mac, ah, there’s been an accident,” Stella replied.
Instantly alert, he asked, “Are you all right? What happened?”
She sniffled a little and said, “I’m fine. It’s Danny. He was caught in an explosion at the crime scene.”
The world stopped, Mac’s heart stuttering with fear as he demanded harshly, “What happened? How is he?”
“He’s at St. Joe’s in surgery,” she reported shakily. “He pushed me out of the way, Mac. I don’t know what he saw or how it happened. He just shoved me and then the lab exploded and he hit the wall behind us. He, he hit so hard, Mac. I heard something break. They took him out in a body brace.”
Mac felt ill. “I’ll be there in fifteen.”
He hung up and reopened the SUV door. He spun with a snarl at Flack when the other man grabbed his shoulder to stop him.
“What the hell’s goin’ on, Mac?” the other man demanded.
Mac took a breath and forced himself to calm down. He couldn’t drive if he was messed up. “Danny got caught in an explosion. He’s at St. Joe’s. Have someone secure the scene and meet me there.”
Flack nodded tensely and moved to take care of that.
Climbing in the driver’s seat, Mac hit the sirens and merged quickly with traffic. Even with the lights and sirens going it took almost twenty-five minutes to get to the hospital, thanks to traffic. He parked and turned off everything, running inside, heedless of the cars that nearly ran him over on the way.
Stella met him near the door and told him, “He’s still in surgery.”
“What do we know?” Mac questioned, locking everything down. He took in her ragged appearance, the tear in her sweater and the smudges on her face and realized that he could have had two good friends in surgery so very easily. Putting a hand on her arm, he ordered quietly, “Come on, let’s sit down.”
She breathed deep and let him guide her to a set of chairs off to the side. Once there, she leaned against him and said, “We were going in to investigate the death of a tech. Seemed straightforward enough, because the guy was shot in the head but all the locks were in place.”
“Inside job,” he guessed.
“Exactly,” she confirmed. “We’d done a once-through and stopped for a break. It was our second scene.”
Mac nodded to show he understood and waited.
She swallowed visibly and continued, “We were on our way back in when it happened. He stopped and turned back to me and he looked…God, Mac, he looked scared shitless, but he shoved me out of the way. If he hadn’t, he’d’ve cleared the blast fine. He saved my life.”
Putting an arm over her shoulder, Mac held her tight, pressing his lips to her forehead. “There wasn’t anything you could’ve done, Stel. And he’s going to be okay. He’s tough.”
Mac repeated that to himself silently, like a mantra. Danny had to be all right. He was tough, he could survive anything. He’d survived being locked in a panic room and then almost getting killed. He’d survived being held hostage. He could survive an explosion.
“Stella!”
Mac almost flinched at Lindsey’s fearful exclamation, just barely managing to not show any reaction to her arrival. Stella immediately abandoned him to comfort and soothe Lindsey, explaining what had happened to the younger woman a few feet away. Jealousy ate at him as Mac reminded himself he had no business feeling that way. Danny was with Lindsey, just like he was with Peyton. Whatever might have been between them was gone. He and Danny were just friends and Mac knew that was his fault.
His mind went back to the time where ‘might have been’ had almost crossed into reality. Just after they’d almost lost Flack. After he’d had to tie Flack’s insides together with a God damned shoe lace. Once he’d taken care of the threat, Mac had been so shaky, so ready to just lose it and Danny had been right there. Waiting outside the hospital room when he’d been done visiting Flack. He’d been so solid and just…there…exactly what Mac had needed. They’d had coffee in the hospital cafeteria late into the night, talking and being quiet together. Part of it had been exhaustion, but most of it had been comfort.
And then Peyton had shown up only a few days later and he’d gone running from Danny into her arms. He’d been terrified at the feelings that had surfaced. Not just the feelings, but their intensity. There hadn’t been anything like that since Claire. So he’d convinced himself that it wasn’t possible and taken the easy way out. Sometimes he felt like a first class bastard, using Peyton like that, but it wasn’t all false. He did care for her, deeply, he just didn’t…
“Mac?”
Shaking off the turmoil at Stella’s call of his name, Mac stood and walked over to the women.
“I got the nurses to go for an update,” Lindsey said. “Should I, should we call Danny’s parents?”
Mac’s eyebrows lifted at her not knowing such an important thing. “Danny and his family are estranged.”
Lindsey bit her lip and murmured softly, “Oh.”
Stella put her arm over Lindsey’s shoulder and told her, “It was a good thought, though, Linds.”
A nurse came over just then and said, “Detective Messer will be in surgery for another hour at least. You should all get some rest. I’ll be sure and let you know if there’s any change.”
“Thank you,” Lindsey replied, offering a wan smile.
After she left, Mac suggested, “Why don’t you two go get some coffee or something. I’ll see if I can get any more information.”
“Just don’t get us kicked out,” Stella warned.
Mac grimaced, but didn’t argue. He watched them walk to the elevator and then headed towards the surgical unit. He didn’t meet up with anyone who questioned his presence until he reached the nurses station.
“Can I help you, Sir?”
Smiling tensely at the suspicious nurse, Mac pulled out his badge and replied, “I was hoping to get an update on Detective Danny Messer.”
She huffed in annoyance. “You cops are worse than reporters, I swear.”
“Please, ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you but…he’s my partner,” Mac finished softly.
The knowledge that ‘partner’ was something that he hadn’t said or acted like in far too long cut deep. Guilt simmered through him and he willed her to let him stay close.
“Oh, stop with the puppy dog eyes,” she finally said. “You can stay right there. And don’t try any funny business like trying to read updates at my station.”
Mac smiled in relief. “No, ma’am. I won’t.”
“Good. I’ll get some new information for you.”
“Thank you.”
He went to sit in the chair she’d indicated, determined not to get on her bad side. It didn’t take long for her to return and he stood once more, not liking her serious expression.
“It’s not good, but it could have been worse,” she began. “His right shoulder dislocated and he broke his right wrist, as well. He broke four ribs on the right side and that’s what caused the problem. One of them punctured his lung and they had to reinflate it on the way in. That’s what they’re repairing now. There’s also some kind of blood clotting problem that they’re trying to bring under control.”
Stunned and sickened, Mac said, “It could be worse than that?”
She gripped his shoulder sympathetically and told him, “Your partner could be dead. And he’s got the best in the hospital looking out for him. Is he a fighter?”
“Strongest one I know,” Mac replied, adding wryly, “And the most stubborn.”
Giving him a kind smile, she said, “Then he’s got a shot. Right now, I would just pray.”
He nodded, numb, and sat back down to do just that. Something he hadn’t done since Claire’s death.
* * * *
Mac jolted awake at a touch to his arm, not having realized that he’d fallen asleep. He looked up at the nurse blearily before asking, “What happened? Is he okay?”
“He’s in recovery,” she told him. “It took longer than they expected, there were some complications.”
Frowning, Mac questioned, “What kind of complications?”
“The clotting problem and additional tears they didn’t notice in his stomach, though they aren’t sure what caused it,” she reported.
Mac stood. “But he’s okay now?”
She nodded and assured him, “He’s stable, won’t even need to go into the ICU, though we’ll keep a close eye on him.”
Sighing deeply in relief, Mac said, “Thank you. May I see him?”
“He probably won’t know you’re there, but sure.”
Mac followed her down the hall to the surgical recovery room. Danny lay sedated on the bed, pale and bruised against the too-white sheets. Hesitant, Mac took the non-bandaged hand and clasped it loosely. He reached up to brush his hand over Danny’s hair, still too short for bangs. “Danny? Can you hear me?”
There was no response, but that wasn’t a surprise.
“I’m here now, Danny, don’t worry. Everything’s going to be fine now,” Mac promised, kissing Danny’s hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”
The nurse walked into the room then and said, “All right, Detective. It’s time to get him settled into his room. You can tell his friends that he’ll be in room 329, but they can only come at regular visiting hours.”
“What about me?”
“Yes, you can stay.”
Mac smiled at her gratefully and repeated, “Thank you.”
He stepped back to let her and a couple of other nurses do what they did best. He followed them out into the hall and down to the room in which Danny would be staying. Mac knew he should go and tell everyone what was going on, but figured that the doctor would fill in Lindsey at the least. He wanted some time alone with Danny before the others got there.
Once the nurses were done settling Danny in, Mac sat on the edge of the bed and retook Danny’s hand in his. There’d been far too many vigils like this in his life, but it was the time before this that prompted self-castigation. He hadn’t gone to the hospital after the hostage situation. He hadn’t even asked about Danny and Adam until he was on his way to the airport with Peyton. It wasn’t that he’d forgotten them, or wanted to ignore them, but he’d felt as though one wrong move would send Peyton running from him and he needed her to hold on to himself.
Staring at Danny, he amended silently, I used to need her.
Out loud, he said, “I should’ve been here last time, Danny. I should’ve been waiting with everyone while you and Adam got checked out. I am so, so sorry. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for leaving you like that. It’ll never happen again, no matter what. I swear, Danny.”
Danny shuffled a little, his hand tightening on Mac’s, but he didn’t wake up.
Mac brought Danny’s hand up to his chest and sat there just looking at the younger man. He tried not to think about how close he’d come to losing Danny yet again.
“Mac?”
Turning at Lindsey’s hesitant tone, Mac laid Danny’s hand back on the bed in an unhurried gesture. He stood and said, “He moved just a minute ago, but he hasn’t regained consciousness.”
She walked closer, still looking a little confused, probably at finding him there. “We were wondering where you’d gone.”
“I got the chance to stick close, so I did,” Mac explained, not really apologizing. He stood aside for her to take his place, magnanimous since he knew that she would have to leave.
Lindsey nodded and said, “I’m glad someone was here.”
It didn’t really sound like she was glad, but Mac didn’t comment on that, instead saying, “I’ll leave you two alone for a bit.”
He did have to relieve himself and get something to drink, after all. While he wanted to be the one there when Danny woke, Mac knew he had to take care of himself too. He had to be in good shape to take care of Danny when the other man was released from the hospital.
* * * *
Lindsey looked betrayed when the nurse shooed her out of Danny’s hospital room an hour later. She frowned at Mac and demanded, “Aren’t you coming?”
“I’m going to stay here and keep an eye on Danny,” Mac replied, keeping all triumph out of his voice.
He did his best to look only concerned for Danny, but wasn’t sure how successful he was, given Lindsey’s glare on her way out. Once she was gone, Mac resumed his spot beside Danny. One hand rested on Danny’s leg and the other held Danny’s hand again. It was more contact than they’d had since Louie had wound up in his coma. He remembered holding Danny then, soothing him through the pain by rubbing his back. He remembered how Danny had clung to him, face buried against Mac’s throat, tears soaking Mac’s collar.
It was wrong to relish such an awful period of Danny’s life, but Mac couldn’t help aching to hold Danny again like that. He didn’t move from that spot for a long time, losing track of the hours as he kept watch over the younger man, talking softly about everything and nothing. He finally gave in to his bladder’s demand, but used the bathroom in the room, instead of the hall.
Returning to Danny’s side, Mac sat again and picked up Danny’s hand. He stayed quiet this time, voice scratchier than usual from all the talking. It was just when he brought Danny’s hand up to kiss the palm that Danny’s eyes opened. Mac paused, but then completed the gesture, pressing his lips to the tender skin for a long moment.
“Mac?” Danny rasped.
With a nod, Mac confirmed, “It’s me, Danny. How do you feel?”
A tired half-grin twisted Danny’s mouth as he answered, “Like a bomb went off.”
Mac snorted. “That’s because it did. Let me get the doctor.”
“No, wait!” Danny exclaimed. When Mac hesitated, he continued, “I just…this is nice. If, I mean…if you wanna.”
Mac smiled broadly and told him, “I not only want to, Danny, but you try and stop me. We’ve got a lot to talk about, but consider this notice of intent.”
“Oh, yeah? Intent for what?”
“Intent for never leaving you alone again.”
Danny swallowed convulsively. “Don’t mess with me on this, Mac. Just, don’t. I know you and Peyton are together.”
“We were,” Mac agreed. “But this made me realize what an idiot I’ve been and that you’re the most important person in my life.”
“Didn’t feel like it.”
“I know. And I’m going to make that up to you, if you let me.”
Danny eyed him for a long minute before relaxing and offering a shy smile. “I’ll letcha. I’ll letcha do pretty much whatever you want, Mac. You gotta know that.”
“I do now,” Mac murmured, bending forward to kiss him.
It was soft and gentle, just a lingering press of lips together, but it was everything, too. Mac didn’t try to deepen it or make more of it. He sat back and smiled at the longing on Danny’s face. He promised, “We’ll get to a lot more when you’re stronger. For now, the nurse said I can stay here during off-hours. Now, let me get a doctor to check you out.”
Danny nodded, eyes already drifting closed as he mumbled, “Better be here when I wake up.”
Kissing Danny’s forehead, Mac vowed, “I’ll be here, Danny.”
* * * *
Dull, painful throbbing in his wrist broke through the deep haze of drugs and exhaustion, pulling Danny out of the deep sleep. His side just about killed him, too, but it was easy enough to ignore in favor of remembering what had happened before. It had seemed like a dream, waking to Mac’s declaration of…well, not love exactly, but faithfulness? A declaration, anyhow, and Danny would take it and run.
Waking the second time was scary because he didn’t feel Mac’s hand holding his or the dip in his bed that said Mac sat there. It wasn’t until he heard a toilet flush that he forced his eyes open. Thankfully, Mac opened the bathroom door and entered the room, eyes immediately locking onto Danny.
That small, relieved smile surfaced on Mac’s face and he said, “You’re awake again.”
“Way to state the obvious,” Danny teased, then had to clear his throat.
Mac snorted, even as he moved to pour a cup of water. He supported Danny, helping him drink down a few sips. “Better?”
“Lots, thanks,” Danny replied. He smiled up at Mac. “You going home sometime soon?”
Shaking his head, Mac answered, “Not until you’re ready to go.”
Danny bit his lip and then asked, “Mac, what’s this? What’s really going on? I mean, I got hurt, but it ain’t the first time. Last time, you didn’t even show, so why the one eighty? Not that I’m complaining, but…it’s confusin’ to say the least.”
Mac sat on the bed, again taking his hand as he said, “The difference is you almost died this time. It made me realize just what an idiot I was, to both of us. Danny, I don’t know if we’ve got a future together, but I want to try. Probably a month from now you’ll be ready to kill me because I’m a hardass who can’t let anyone else have the last word or be right. And I we can’t be any different at work, I can’t show you favoritism even if we’re lovers, but I really do want to try. If you want to.”
It was a little difficult to follow the convoluted words so Danny just went by the tone. The worried, pained, hesitant tone that he’d never heard from Mac ever. Closing his eyes, he squeezed Mac’s hand and said, “I want to.”
He felt Mac’s mouth press to his forehead and smiled at the contact. There was another kiss, against Danny’s cheek, and then a third to his mouth. Soft and tender, things he never would have associated with Mac unless a small child was involved, the kiss sent a shiver of heat through him. It didn’t last nearly long enough and he sighed in disappointment when Mac pulled back. Opening his eyes, Danny found a faint smile on Mac’s face and he asked, “What?”
“Nothing. Just admiring the view,” Mac replied.
An embarrassed flush ran through Danny and he muttered, “Now you’re makin’ fun of me.”
Mac cupped Danny’s face and told him firmly, “Never.”
Danny’s eyebrows rose.
“Well, not about that,” Mac amended, grinning a bit.
“What’s going on here?”
Lindsey’s voice cut through the happy bubble that had been created while alone with Mac. Danny flinched a little and looked over at where Lindsey stood by the door to his room. He struggled to find something, anything, to say, but nothing came out.
The confusion on her face cleared into anger and betrayal, which was only to be expected. Mac had hired her with good reason. She was intelligent enough to pick up on the body language between them without a single word explaining the situation. Without a word, she turned sharply on her heel and strode from the room.
Danny sighed. “That went well.”
“You want me to talk to her?” Mac offered.
Shaking his head, Danny answered, “Nah. I’ll deal with it when I get out of here.”
A nurse entered the room and said, “Time for a check-up, Detective.”
Sensing this was going to be painful, even if she was five foot nothing, Danny told Mac, “Go get something to eat. Take a break.”
Mac frowned. “I can stay.”
But Danny shook his head and insisted, “I’ll be fine. Go on. You need some real food and a break.”
Mac brushed his hand over Danny’s head. “I won’t be long.”
“Take your time,” Danny told him. “I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
Chuckling, Mac tweaked his nose and replied, “You better not.”
Danny watched him leave then looked at the nurse and said, “Okay, let’s get this over with.”
She smiled, saying, “It’s not going to be that bad, Detective. I just need to check your dressings and take your vitals.”
It hadn’t been as bad as he’d anticipated, but there were still a few moments of heart-stopping pain when she lifted his hand.
“Sounds like you could use some more pain meds,” she observed.
Gritting his teeth, Danny shook his head. “I’m good.”
“Detective…”
“It’s Danny, please,” he interrupted. “And honest, I’ll be fine.”
She gave him a displeased look, but only said, “You call me if it gets bad, understand.”
“Scouts honor.”
“Why do I have trouble thinking you were a boy scout?”
Danny grinned. “No idea.”
She wagged a finger at him and ordered, “Stop that flirting now. I’m on duty.”
“That won’t matter to him,” Lindsey observed wryly.
Danny winced and it had nothing to do with the nurse.
The nurse looked between them and told Danny, “I’m all set for now. I’ll be back in a half-hour.”
Once she was gone, Lindsey walked forward, but stopped a short distance from the bed. Awkward, she asked, “How long have you and Mac been…together?”
“Technically, we aren’t,” Danny answered, just as ill-at-ease. “I mean, we ain’t done nothin’ together.”
“Yet.”
“Well, yeah.”
Lindsey stared at the floor, quiet as she prompted, “So, what were we?”
Sighing, Danny said, “I do care about ya, Linds, honest. It’s just…”
“Not like you do for Mac,” she guessed, finally meeting his gaze.
Danny shrugged and then gasped in pain, wishing he hadn’t. “I’m sorry, Linds.”
A crooked smile surfaced and she replied, “Me, too, Danny. I thought we had something good together.”
“We did!” Danny agreed strongly, guilt choking him.
Lindsey closed the distance and took his hand in both of hers, exclaiming, “Then don’t do this! Stay with me, Danny. Don’t throw away what we have for what could be with Mac! I’m here and I’m real and we have a good thing together!”
He felt horrible and torn, knowing that she was right. They did have a good relationship. They had a damn good one and he could even see them having a family and growing old together and having a really good life. The thing was, with Mac, he could see either absolute ecstasy or total devastation. He couldn’t be sure which, but it didn’t matter. He had to take a shot or regret it the rest of his life.
Squeezing her hands gently, Danny told her, “I can’t, Linds, I’m sorry.”
He wished that she would slap him or punch him or something, but all she did was give a sad smile and walk out of the room.
Sinking back against the pillows with a groan, Danny closed his eyes tight and wished for a simple life. Thankfully, he wasn’t alone with his thoughts for long. The door opened again and he heard Stella call his name softly. Opening his eyes, he smiled at her and got a big smile in return.
“Danny, you idiot,” she scolded affectionately. “What were you thinking?”
Grinning a bit bashfully, Danny admitted, “I wasn’t. Would’ve done the same thing if I had been, but it was pure instinct.”
She shook her head and pulled a chair up to the bed. “We need to work on those self-preservation instincts of yours.”
“I second that,” Mac said, entering the door.
Danny smiled at him and observed, “You look almost human again, Mac.”
Huffing lightly, clearly amused, Mac returned, “You should look in a mirror.”
“Nah, I’m good, thanks,” Danny replied.
Flack and Adam showed up a couple of minutes later and he basked in the attention. He loved the gentle teasing and comforting touches from everyone in the room, soaking in the fondness and caring. Lindsey was conspicuous in her absence, but no one commented on it, thank God. Before he knew it, a different nurse arrived to shoo everyone out and this one ordered Mac out, too.
“I have permission to stay,” Mac countered, after the others had left.
She gave him a stern look and informed him, “And if he was on death’s door, I’d let you stay. He is going to be fine, though, and you’re not exactly hygienic right now. Come back for afternoon visiting hours if you want, but you’re out of here for the next five hours, Mister.”
“It’s Detective Taylor.”
“I don’t care if you’re the Police Chief. Out.”
Mac glared at her, but turned back to Danny and rubbed his shoulder. “I’ll be back this afternoon.”
Smiling, Danny replied, “I’ll be here.”
“Good,” Mac said, bending down to kiss him.
To say Danny was shocked at the public display would be an understatement. It didn’t stop him from enjoying the brief kiss, though. He sighed once Mac was gone and wondered if there was anything on television.
* * * *
Danny groaned as the pain hit his stomach again, wishing he could curl around it but unable to because of how his arm was strapped to his body. It had bothered him all night, off and on, but was getting worse. It had become almost nonstop, like an appendix about to burst or something, but they couldn’t find anything wrong.
“Danny? Hey, look at me.”
Startled by Mac’s order, Danny opened his eyes to find the other man close. He hadn’t even heard him come in.
A frown covered Mac’s face as he asked, “What’s wrong?”
“My stomach’s killin’ me,” Danny answered. “Like someone’s stabbin’ a knife. They looked me over and there’s nothing wrong.”
“Well something’s wrong, you’re in pain,” Mac pointed out, irritated.
Danny gasped at a particularly vicious stab in his gut and tried to twist away from it.
Mac held him down unexpectedly and ordered, “Don’t move, Danny, you’ll hurt yourself.”
Reaching across him, Mac hit the call button with one hand and continued to keep Danny in place with the other. Tears of pain sparked and Danny grimaced at the show of weakness. It was one thing to be injured, but another to be a baby about it.
“Detective
Mac questioned, “Why haven’t you figured out what’s wrong with him yet? He’s in pain. He should at least have pain meds.”
Folding her arms over her chest, she informed Mac, “He refused them. I was ready to start a morphine drip five hours ago.”
Danny offered a weak smile when Mac turned accusing eyes on him. “Ah, I don’t need it?”
“Take the drip, Danny, before I beat you unconscious,” Mac commanded, glaring. “And we’re going to talk about this later.”
“Yes, Mac,” Danny agreed meekly.
The nurse snorted, but set about getting the morphine drip in place. It didn’t take long and then, only a few minutes after that, blessed relief washed over his entire body. The throbbing in his side and wrist subsided and the active pain in his stomach dulled. He sighed deeply and turned a grateful smile at Mac. “Thanks.”
Shaking his head, Mac coasted a hand over Danny’s hair and observed, “You’re such a hardcase sometimes, Messer.”
“But I’m worth it?” Danny questioned wistfully.
The ferocity of Mac’s, “More than worth it!” startled Danny, even as it sent a flush of pleasure through him.
“The doctor should be in at nine to go over the test results with you,” the nurse told them. “In the meantime, make sure he doesn’t strain anything.”
Mac nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed.
Danny floated on the pleasant edge of a legal drug high and wondered if pot or coke felt like morphine.
“No, they don’t.”
Blinking in surprise, not realizing that he’d spoken aloud, Danny frowned in order to focus on Mac. “How would you know?”
Mac’s lips twisted as he answered slowly, “I was pretty messed up after 9/11, Danny.”
“The November and December you just disappeared,” Danny guessed, shocked.
Nodding, Mac sighed and explained, “The week after Claire’s memorial, I lost it. I did just about every drug there was to do and drank myself sober more than once. I don’t remember November at all and spent all of December getting clean with Stella’s help. Still respect me?”
The last words were said lightly, but Danny saw the uncertainty in Mac’s eyes and immediately used his good hand to cup Mac’s face, promising, “Always.”
Mac leaned in and kissed him. For the first time, Danny opened his mouth to it, encouraging more despite his lack of ability to provide real satisfaction. He might not have been with a guy before, but he knew how to kiss and he used as much of his skill as the drug allowed. Mac groaned and hitched closer, getting more aggressive in exploring Danny’s mouth, so he figured that he was doing pretty good with the kissing.
A discreet throat clearing interrupted them and Danny sighed in disappointment when Mac sat back. It took some doing to concentrate enough on the petite blonde woman who entered the room wearing a white lab coat. Since they were at a hospital and not a lab, Danny assumed she was the doc and offered a bright grin, greeting, “Hey, Doc! How are ya?”
“He’s a little high right now,” Mac informed her, wry.
She grinned and replied, “I would expect so, with the dosage he’s on. I’m Dr. Del Ribadeaux. Please call me
Mac stood quickly and shook her hand. “Mac
“So I hear,” Ribadeaux replied, smiling to take out any possible threat. “It’s good to know he has someone so devoted to watching out for him when he goes home.”
“He does,” Mac confirmed firmly.
Another flush of pleasure ran through Danny.
Turning somewhat businesslike,
“And if it doesn’t?” Mac questioned.
“Then we run more tests.”
“Shouldn’t you just run those tests now?”
“That would be premature.”
“Or it could stave off something potentially life-threatening.”
“I don’t believe we’re at that point.”
“But we could be, and without warning.”
Danny watched Mac and
* * * *
Mac stopped the argument mid-sentence on hearing a snore. He looked down at his would-be lover and couldn’t help a fond grin spreading over his face. Danny looked so young and innocent, fast asleep like he was. Turning a rueful look to
She grinned outright and waved it off. “Not a problem. I promise that I’ll keep a close eye on him for the next twenty-four hours, but honestly, I’m sure that he’ll be fine. He’s young and strong and has you to look out for him. Relax, Detective, you can probably even bring him home in a couple of days. Now, I do have rounds, but here’s my card. Call me if anything changes.”
Nodding, Mac took the card and went to grab his briefcase where he’d dropped it on entering the room. Danny had been in such pain at the time that the noise hadn’t even penetrated and that scared Mac. It didn’t seem like residual pain to him, but an injury in and of itself.
For the time being.
Mac sat in the chair beside the bed and pulled out some paperwork to catch up on. Stella was holding down the fort during visiting hours, but he still had things to do that she couldn’t. It would give him time to get ahead for when he took time off to be home with Danny. The very good news was that they worked in the lab. Even if Danny had to transfer to another division, he didn’t have to rely on potentially homophobic cops for backup. Mac would do everything he could to prevent that and had already printed out a copy of the Policy and Procedures manual to read at home.
All too soon his time was up and the nurse stuck her head in to make sure that he left. He nodded at her and began packing up. Setting the briefcase on the chair, Mac took a few seconds to gaze at Danny before stealing another kiss for the road.
Mac got diverted to a crime scene on the way back to the lab and wound up working with Lindsey a lot sooner than he’d anticipated. He’d expected not to see her until Danny was healed and back at work, a full two weeks later, maybe even three weeks. Time enough for wounds to begin healing. This was too soon for them both and he knew it.
The first hour, neither said anything more than strictly necessary. Flack noticed the coldness between them right along with the rest of the crime scene personnel. The difference was that Flack could guess at the nature of their problem while the rest merely speculated. The second hour, Lindsey caught sight of Danny’s badge in Mac’s department vehicle and her lips thinned in anger so that she didn’t say a single word to him. The third hour brought an end to the scene, thankfully, but then he realized that she had to ride back with him.
Mac took the driver’s seat and waited until she pulled on her seatbelt to start the vehicle. He pulled easily into traffic and concentrated on the driving.
“You’re wrong for doing this, you know,” Lindsey announced abruptly. “Danny and I have a good thing going and you’re just wrecking everything.”
Jaw tightening, Mac replied, “It was Danny’s decision.”
She half-turned in her seat and exclaimed, “Don’t give me that! Danny worships the ground you walk on and everyone knows it, Mac! He’s not even gay, for crying out loud! I doubt he’s even bisexual. It’s just you. He lives and breathes for your approval so of course he would jump at the chance to be with you. And it’ll last for a few months, maybe half a year, before he realizes that he’s living a lie. Only by then, it will be too late.”
All of which had already coursed through Mac’s mind over the last twenty-four hours since Danny had agreed to be with him. Cutting off a cab just to vent his frustrations, Mac retorted, “Danny’s a grown man, Lindsey. Don’t make the mistake that a lot of people do.”
“And what’s that?”
“Thinking that Danny’s incapable of making up his own mind, or accepting the consequences to his own choices.”
Lindsey’s arms folded over her chest and she faced forward again, effectively cutting off the conversation.
Mac stifled the sigh that wanted to get out and cut off another cab.
* * * *
“Do you know what you’re doing?”
Mac groaned at Stella’s pointed question and visualized banging his head on his desk. Looking over at her, he pled, “Not you, too.”
“Me, too, what?” Stella asked, looking confused.
Mac opened his mouth and then closed it again. He finally asked, cautious, “What were you talking about?”
Eyebrows lifting, she answered, “The legalese for the Bernwin case tomorrow. You missed the prep this morning, remember? Why, what were you talking about?”
Mac sat back in his chair and snorted, rubbing his palm against a tired eye as he replied, “Nothing. Never mind.”
“Oh, no. You can’t react like that and expect me not to be interested,” Stella teased, leaning against his desk.
“Close the door.”
“Oh, this is going to be good.”
Mac ignored the words as she went to close the door and then returned. Once she settled, he explained, “Danny broke up with Lindsey to be with me.”
Stella blinked at him, jaw gaping open a bit in obvious shock. “Are you kidding me?”
“Do I look like I’d joke about this?” he countered, dry.
She demanded, “Okay, when the hell did this happen and where was I?”
Huffing in amusement, Mac answered, “At the hospital and barred from Danny’s room.”
“Shit, Mac, what about Peyton?” Stella asked quietly.
Something hadn’t yet taken care of and knew that he had to, before taking Danny home. Not just because it was the decent thing to do, but because she also had keys to his apartment. Stella punched him in the shoulder hard and he exclaimed, “Ow! Stella!”
“You’re an idiot, Mac,” she informed him smartly. “You can’t just jump in like that and not expect friction! Which is, I gather, what you were talking about when I came in here.”
He nodded. “Lindsey isn’t really taking it well.”
“Do you blame her?” Stella demanded.
Mac sighed. “No, of course not. And it’s not like I planned this. It’s just…when I realized how close he came…and it’s not his first brush with danger, either. Thinking I could lose him, without ever having really had him…”
Stella shook her head, but no longer looked angry as she said, “You have to tell Peyton. And like, now, before Lindsey does it for you.”
Alarmed, not having thought of that, Mac questioned, “You don’t think she really would?”
“Oh, I think a pissed off woman is capable of doing just about anything and that easily includes dragging others down into her misery,” Stella replied, wry.
Mac was seriously not ready to talk to Peyton about any of it, but Stella was right. He couldn’t take the chance that Lindsey would do it first. Sighing deeply, he gripped Stella’s thigh and said, “Thanks, Stel.”
“Call me when you need to,” she offered, kissing the top of his head before hopping off the desk.
When, not if.
He grimaced and picked up the phone to call Peyton.
She picked up on the second ring with a warm, teasing, “And where have you been, oh man of mystery?”
Mac nearly groaned, knowing that she had no idea what was coming. “Hey, do you have a few minutes?”
“Sounds serious. Of course I do,” she immediately accommodated. “I’ll be there in five minutes.”
He hung up and resisted the urge to pace as he waited. She arrived less than five minutes later, a small, anxious frown marring the beauty of her face. Loving eyes met his almost instantly and she bit her lip before asking, “What’s wrong? What’s happened?”
Standing, Mac walked over to her, guiding her to the sofa and then closing the door. Sitting next to her, but careful to keep space between them, he struggled to find a way to tell her the situation.
“Mac, you’re scaring me,” Peyton told him quietly.
He finally took her hand and said, “You remember when we first got together and you asked if there had been anyone since Claire?”
The frown increased, but she nodded gamely. “I do, why?”
“I wasn’t…entirely honest with you.”
Peyton withdrew her hand from his, crossing her arms over her chest defensively and asking, “Is that so?”
“I…I was in love with someone at the time but too scared to go after what I wanted,” Mac explained, unable to look her in the eyes.
“I see.”
When she didn’t say anything else, Mac continued in a low, pained voice, “I do care for you, Peyton, I even love you, but…”
“It’s Danny.”
Startled into looked up at her, Mac found a sad acceptance in her pale eyes and nodded slowly. “How…?”
“I’m not blind, Mac,” she retorted, though there was surprisingly little heat in the words. “Danny follows you ‘round like a puppy sometimes. And then, just every now and again, you get this expression…like you can do anything just because of how he looks at you.”
Mac had no idea how to respond.
She sighed deeply and stood, telling him, “I can’t wish you luck, not right now, but I don’t wish you ill, either. I won’t speak of this to anyone.”
He got to his feet, reaching for her with, “Peyton…”
“No, not right now Mac, please,” she begged in a whisper before rushing out of the office.
Heart heavy, Mac walked back to his desk and wondered if he and Danny were doomed from the start, with all the pain they were causing.
* * * *
Danny was awake and watching television when Mac walked in the room, for which Mac was eternally grateful. The younger man had slept through his visit the night before, just when Mac had needed to talk to him most. The nurse had said that the stomach pain had grown pretty severe that afternoon before he’d returned and she’d upped the dosage further. Danny certainly looked better now, with more color. As he got closer, Mac saw that his pupils were back to normal which meant the drugs were gone, or at least severely lessened.
“Mac!” Danny exclaimed happily. “Man, I’m so glad you’re here! Please tell me you brought real food? I am starving!’”
Relief surged through him and Mac teased, “You’re always starving.”
“Yeah, well, you eat what they got here and you’d be starvin’ too,” Danny retorted.
Mac took a slow, deep kiss before any more words were said. Danny made a pleased noise and opened his mouth in response.
“All I do is catch you boys kissing.”
Grinning against Danny’s mouth, Mac nonetheless stood and looked over at
She smirked a little and countered, “I think I have excellent timing.”
Mac sat on the bed as he asked, “So what’s the verdict?”
“He’s well on the road to recovery,”
Mac frowned. “But you said yesterday he could go home tomorrow.”
Shaking her head,
“Thank you,” Danny said emphatically.
She grinned at him and closed the distance to check up on Danny physically, listening to his chest and then taking his pulse. Mac stayed quiet and out of the way, relieved when she gave them each a smile and a nod.
“All right. I’m off so you boys can finish your visit. Although I will remind you that Danny’s hooked up to a monitor.”
Mac hid a grin at Danny’s confused expression and said, “No problem. Thank you,
“My pleasure,” she replied, winking before she left.
Danny gave him a puzzled look and asked, “What’d she mean by that?”
“Think about it. What would cause your monitor to go off?”
“Well, if my heart gets racing or…oh…”
Mac grinned and tweaked his nose. “Yeah, ‘oh.’”
“Well, damn.”
Chuckling, Mac assured him, “We can still do plenty before that’s a problem.”
Danny shook his head and stated, “Not a chance, Mac. Those nurses scare me. You get to go home, you know, but they, they bathe me. I am not ticking them off.”
Mac was disappointed, but not surprised. Strong women had dominated most of Danny’s life and he wasn’t going to start giving lip at this late date. “All right. Let’s just talk for now. We’ve got almost an hour before I have to go in to work.”
And talk they did. Mac decided to get the hard stuff over with first and told Danny what had happened with both Lindsey and Peyton. By the time he was done, Danny held his hand and looked as pale as he’d been the day before. Which hadn’t been Mac’s intention whatsoever. But before he could do anything about it, Danny tugged him up close and wrapped his arm around Mac. It was an awkward embrace since Mac was on his feet, but he leaned into the one-armed hug and pressed his face to Danny’s throat, breathing him in through the antiseptic smell. When he finally pulled back, Mac saw that it was time to go and sighed in regret.
“Just a few more days, Mac,” Danny promised. “Then we can stretch out on the sofa and watch a game together. Or, you know, stretch out somewhere else.”
Mac smiled at the hint of a flush that tipped Danny’s ear and teased, “I know which one I’m looking forward to more.”
“Yeah, well, don’t get too excited. I ah, I ain’t never done this before, so I’m probably lousy,” Danny muttered, refusing to meet his eyes.
Leaning in for another kiss, this one deep and hungry, Mac palmed the back of Danny’s neck, keeping him in place. Danny gave as good as he got, tongue mingling with Mac’s. He broke it up into smaller kisses and then straightened up before admonishing, “Anyone who kisses like that is not going to be lousy at anything, Danny.”
Danny seemed caught between pleased and bashful, which was a damn good look on him. He replied, “Practice makes perfect anyhow, right?”
“That’s right,” Mac confirmed, grinning. “And now I need to get back to work. I’ll see you this afternoon.”
But Danny said, “No, Mac, you can’t keep breakin’ up your day like that. Just come in the mornings, okay?”
“Danny…”
“Save your time for later.”
Mac had so much vacation and sick time accrued that human resources would cry when they finally realized he was taking some. He understood, though, that Danny was trying to regain some equilibrium and so nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow morning then. Call me?”
Smiling, Danny agreed, “Definitely. Be safe, Mac.”
“I will,” Mac promised.
He left feeling better than he had to start with, but knew he wouldn’t feel good until Danny left with him.
It was a full four days later before
Work continued to be a source of torment, thanks to having to work with both Lindsey and Peyton. Stella and Flack ran interference when they could, but he did have to interact with the women on his own sometimes. Peyton was easier than Lindsey, thanks to her English upbringing. There were no emotional scenes or cutting words. She simply ignored the entire situation and spoke only about work-related items. Lindsey, on the other hand, made snide remarks that were all the more cutting for their accuracy.
Finally the day came and Mac pushed Danny’s wheelchair down the main corridor out of the hospital. They both lived in apartments, but Mac wanted Danny at his place, safe from potential scenes if Lindsey showed up with her set of keys. Peyton had left her keys on Mac’s desk one day when he hadn’t been in his office without being asked. He doubted that Lindsey would do the same.
“I want pizza tonight!” Danny exclaimed as the approached the exit. “Pizza with extra garlic and extra cheese and lotsa extra pepperoni. That okay?”
Mac grinned and said, “Only if you feel like sleeping alone.”
“Oh. Ah, right. Okay, how ‘bout just the pepperoni?” Danny amended.
Chuckling, Mac agreed, “Sounds good, Danny.”
He set the brake on the wheelchair and Danny immediately stood on his own without waiting for help. Mac snorted to himself, but only pointed to the SUV half a block down. Danny fell into step with Mac and they settled on a pace that was slightly less than normal without a word. Mac was determined to take it easy and he knew that Danny would keep pace with him.
Unlocking the door, he held it open until Danny got settled and then closed it to walk around to his own. He pulled onto the street only a few minutes later, thankful that traffic congestion was at a minimum.
“So, where we goin?’” Danny asked.
Mac glanced at him, but saw nothing but mild curiosity.
Danny shrugged. “Just, this ain’t the way to my place.”
Clearing his throat, Mac explained, “I thought my apartment would be better. Just in case Lindsey decides to show up to make trouble.”
“Nah, she wouldn’t do that,” Danny protested.
Mac had to disagree, “I think she might. She’s pretty…upset right now.”
Danny looked troubled as he asked, “Things been bad at work?”
“It’s been better,” Mac admitted. “But I’ll handle it.”
Danny’s hand grasped Mac’s thigh as he said, “Well, your place sounds good then.”
Smiling, Mac looked over and found an echoing expression on Danny’s face. Maybe this would work out after all.
It was a good twenty minutes before Mac pulled into his parking spot and turned off the engine. Danny climbed out before Mac could tell him to wait, which had him shaking his head in aggravated amusement. Obviously, Danny was determined not to be a burden.
Like he ever could be, Mac thought, catching up to the other man. “You know, you’re supposed to be injured. Why don’t you take it easy for a week or so before trying to prove that you’re invulnerable again?”
Danny’s eyes widened and he protested, “I’m not…”
“You are, and you don’t have to,” Mac interrupted. He gripped Danny’s uninjured shoulder and continued, “Let me help you, okay? Just for a week or so. It’ll make me feel better.”
The elevator opened then and Danny gave Mac a rueful look as he said, “I’m new to this whole trust thing, so you might need to cut me some slack until I get used to it.”
Mac held the elevator door and replied, “I will.”
The rest of the walk to his apartment was quiet, but Danny slid his good arm around Mac’s waist, leaning on him for the trip. It was more contact than they’d had in months and he relished it. He couldn’t believe just how close he’d come to losing any chance at being a part of this man’s life. Impulsive, he stopped a few feet from the door and cupped Danny’s face in his hands, taking Danny’s mouth in a brief, hard kiss.
When he pulled back, Danny blinked a couple of times, as if clearing his mind, and asked, “You okay there, Mac?”
“I’m fine,” Mac replied gruffly. Running a quick hand over Danny’s head, he suggested, “You should let your hair grow back,” and continued on to the door.
Danny had caught up to him by the time Mac had unlocked the door. He resettled against Mac’s side and they walked inside together. He waved around and said, “Living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom.”
“Is that the nickel or dime tour?” Danny teased.
Mac grinned. “We’ll split the difference. Come on, I want you to rest so get comfortable on the sofa while I make lunch.”
Frowning, Danny repeated, “Make lunch? What happened to pizza?”
“Not with your stomach problems,” Mac informed him. “For all we know it could come back. I’m going to make you some soup and toast.”
“Oh, come on, Mac!”
“Danny, do you want to go back to the hospital?”
“That’s blackmail!”
Mac looked at him steadily, not backing down, and finally Danny glared at him and sat on the sofa. He heard a muttered, “Tyrant,” but ignored it, turning away with a grin. He headed for the kitchen and set about making a pot of soup for them both. He was hungry, but not too hungry, having grabbed something before picking Danny up. By the time he got everything on the table, though, Danny was sound asleep on the sofa.
Sitting on the edge of the sofa, Mac took a few minutes just to look at the young man sleeping so comfortably in his apartment. It hadn’t been a ‘home’ since Claire’s death. He’d gone there to sleep, change clothes, and eat, but hadn’t felt comfortable. Not in the way that Danny clearly felt. He glanced around the apartment and saw a barely lived in place, a shell.
That’ll change when his stuff gets here, Mac realized.
The thought didn’t make him sad, as he might have thought, just vaguely wistful. He still loved Claire, but could safely say that he’d moved on. Peyton had helped with that and Mac knew he owed her a lot more than even what he’d previously thought.
Mac gently squeezed Danny’s hand and said softly, “Wake up, Danny. Soup’s on.”
“I want pizza,” Danny mumbled through a yawn.
Smiling, Mac stood and helped the younger man to his feet. “We’ll get pizza when you go two days without any stomach pain, how’s that?”
Danny made a face at him and replied, “Sucky, but okay.”
They sat at the table and Danny’s irritation seemed to fade away as they talked about pretty much everything except work. Mac was just as happy to avoid that for the time being. He had a week off and intended to spend every moment lavishing attention and love on Danny.
Once lunch was over, Danny demanded a shower, wanting to get the grime of so long without a real shower, complaining, “Sponge baths suck.”
Mac grinned. “I guess it depends on who gives it.”
Danny flushed, but only muttered, “I guess. You gonna help me, or what?”
“Definitely,” Mac confirmed, following him to the bathroom.
It took a while to get the bandages covered in plastic and the sling off, but they did it. Mac helped Danny into the shower, careful to keep his touch professional and supportive, doing his best not to ogle Danny, averting his eyes and pulling the shower curtain closed. He stayed in the room, though, in case Danny needed help.
“God, that feels great,” Danny groaned.
Shivering lightly at the pleasure in Danny’s voice, Mac stayed silent until the water turned off. He grabbed one of the big towels and used it to dry Danny off once the other was out of the tub. From there, he helped Danny get dressed again, though in sweats and a t-shirt this time. Mac was glad he’d stopped at Danny’s place the day before to pick up extra clothes, saving time.
Mac herded Danny back to the sofa and convinced him to stretch out, resting his head on Mac’s lap. That way they could both watch television and Mac could satisfy his urge to run his hand over whatever part of Danny he wanted. He confined himself to petting Danny’s hair and laying his hand on Danny’s chest. It felt a little silly at first, but then he relaxed into the contact, enjoying the fact that he finally had Danny to himself.
“God, Mac, you’re getting me started here,” Danny said breathlessly.
Mac yanked his hand back from where he’d absentmindedly been rubbing Danny’s hip. “Shit, Danny, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
Danny interrupted with a grin, “Damn, I was really hoping you did.”
Bemused, Mac suddenly realized there was no reason not to act on their needs. It couldn’t be anything strenuous, but there was nothing keeping them from moving forward slowly. That thought in mind, Mac grinned back at Danny and kissed him thoroughly. He broke it off and said, “Then again, why not?”
“That’s what I’m talking about,” Danny replied, smirking.
Mac helped Danny stand again and then molested him on the short trip to the bedroom, hands roaming over Danny’s body as they kissed the whole way there. He made Danny stand still beside the bed, undressing the younger man carefully. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen the extent of the injuries, but they seemed more offensive in the privacy of the bedroom. The bruises and bandages over the golden skin were an affront to Mac, a slight to his determination to keep all his people safe, but especially Danny.
Danny shifted, unease plain on his face as he asked, “What? Buyer’s remorse?”
Mac immediately, but gently, pulled Danny into his arms and answered, “Never. I just…I should’ve been there, Danny. I should’ve been able to stop this from happening.”
Unexpectedly, Danny hit Mac upside the back of his head hard enough to smart. “What am I, chopped liver? I can’t be responsible for my own safety or help out a friend in danger?”
“No, Danny, that’s not what I meant!” Mac exclaimed.
Danny glared, demanding, “Then what?”
Mac sighed and tried to figure out how to explain it. He finally said, “It’s not you, it’s me. And I mean that. I just need to…even before Claire died, I had to protect my people, but after…I can’t help it, Danny.”
The look Danny gave him seemed a combination of suspicion and searching. It took forever before the other man said, “Okay. Just so’s you don’t start treating me like I’m made of glass or something.”
“I’ll try not to,” Mac promised.
Danny’s lips quirked and he commented, “This is a damn weird conversation to have with me buck naked.”
Mac grinned. “I don’t know, I kinda like you buck naked.”
“Well, I hope so,” Danny retorted, grinning outright.
Feeling like he’d just jumped an unexpected hurdle, Mac closed the distance and slid his hand over Danny’s chest, coasting through the fine chest hair.
Danny tugged at Mac’s shirt and ordered, “Off,
“Bossy bottom,” Mac teased.
Danny smirked. “Who said anything about being on the bottom?”
Mac laughed in delight. Trust Danny to keep him on his toes. “Well, I don’t think that arm’s going to let you do much in the way of pitching, Danny.”
Danny frowned, obviously thinking about it, and then complained, “That’s not fair! I finally get you and I can’t do anything!”
“I wouldn’t say you can’t do ‘anything,’” Mac countered, bringing Danny’s good hand down to his crotch. “There’s nothing wrong with that hand or arm.”
Danny squeezed lightly through the fabric and Mac flushed at the intimate contact, even though he’d initiated it. Apparently taking his flush as a good sign, Danny moved completely into Mac’s personal space and started rubbing Mac through his pants. Mac’s breath hitched, his legs spreading automatically for better balance. Leaning in, he murmured against Mac’s ear, “When I’m better, I’m gonna fuck you stupid, Mac. I’m gonna make you come so hard, and so often, you won’t have nothin’ left to spill. You’re gonna feel me for days, when I’m done with you. You want to know what I’m going to do to you?”
Mac moaned as Danny’s hand slid into his pants and boxers to grasp Mac’s dick. He could barely keep his wits enough to answer, “Yes!”
“First, I’m gonna open you up with my mouth and fuck your ass with my tongue. Get you all wet and eager for me,” Danny told him, voice hot and low. “Then I’ll just slide into you and ride you for hours. I can do that, you know. I can fuck forever and not come. But I’ll make you come. I’m going to make you come on my cock without a single touch and then I’m going to suck you dry.”
Feeling his body spiral out of control, Mac had to pull Danny’s hand off his dick, panting harshly as he brought it up and sucked on two fingers to calm himself down. Wicked blue eyes sparkled at him from too-close and Mac decided to turn the tables. Stepping back, he ordered, “On the bed, Messer. Let’s see if you’re as good as you claim.”
“Oh, like that’s going to scare me,” Danny challenged, turning and carefully climbing onto the bed.
Mac took the time that Danny got comfortable to strip, quick as he could. By the time Danny was propped up on pillows and looking back at him, Mac was also covered only by air. He walked to the bed and knelt easily on the foot of the mattress. First, he took Danny’s right foot and massaged it, watching as Danny slowly sank into the pillows, relaxing into his touch. Then, he massaged the calf up to the knee and worked his way back down. He switched to the left foot and repeated the process, thrilling to the little moans that escaped Danny.
When he finished, the other man’s cock was hard, filled out to a more than respectable length and girth. Mac had only ever been fucked by one man and that had been back in the service. He remembered almost enjoying himself, like if it had kept going, something would’ve made him a very happy man. Unfortunately, his partner hadn’t had Danny’s self-proclaimed restraint and things had ended much too early. Since then, he’d fucked only three men, but made sure they’d gotten as much as they’d wanted, how they’d wanted it.
Mac stretched out on the bed between Danny’s legs and got acquainted with his lover’s cock. He used his hands at first; stroking and fisting and squeezing, watching Danny’s reactions to every caress and memorizing them. When he finally put his mouth on Danny’s shaft, the other man jerked under him in response, pre-come spilling over his tongue. Grinning to himself, Mac worked the dick in his mouth, going up and down and using his tongue to paint wet patterns along the way.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Danny chanted in a low, growling voice.
Pulling off and kneeling up, Mac licked his lips and stared at his lover’s heaving chest. Not just because of the bandages, but remembering too late about the battered lung. He wanted desperately to fuck Danny for hours, just as the other man had promised to do to him, but knew that Danny’s body wouldn’t last that long.
Danny cleared his throat and ordered, “Well, don’t stop there!”
“Danny, how’s your lung?” Mac questioned.
The question took a few seconds to get through to Danny, but he answered, “It’s fine.”
Mac pressed, “No tightness? No burning or pain?”
Danny shook his head and repeated, “I’m fine, Mac, I promise. I’m breathin’ hard ‘cause you’re insanely good at that. I think I’m going to be a jealous lover. Keep you on a damn short leash.”
Relieved by the banter, Mac relaxed a little and commanded, “Make sure you tell me if you need to stop.”
“I will,” Danny agreed. “Now get up here and fuck me, wouldja?”
Mac grinned. “That, I can do.”
It took some reshuffling, but they wound up on Danny’s good side with Mac supporting him from behind. He kissed the back of Danny’s neck and murmured, “This is good.”
“This is great,” Danny sighed, angling back for a kiss.
Mac obliged him and the kiss went on for a long time, tongues lazy and thrusting in turn. He used the time to slowly open Danny with slick fingers, then finger-fucked his lover with care. The room seemed a small bubble of peace and lust, a strange mix that filled him with need for the man resting so trustfully on him. Then it was his dick that pushed carefully inside the tight heat that pressed down on him from all sides. He moved in and out only in small increments, distracting Danny with kisses and a hand stroking his cock.
As much as he wanted to draw things out, Mac knew it would be better for Danny not to do so. There would be time enough for long afternoon fucks when the younger man was healed. He changed angles on every in-thrust until finally Danny jerked and moaned, a sound of mingled pain-pleasure.
“Fuck, that’s it, Mac,” Danny groaned. “Right there, do me right there.”
Mac sucked on the back of Danny’s neck as he did just that, holding Danny’s hip to keep him in place as he moved slow, but hard. It didn’t take nearly as long as he’d expected, but that was something for which Mac was grateful. A combination of nicking Danny’s prostate and squeezing tighter on his dick caused his new lover to come, spurting over Mac’s hand and onto the bedspread.
Danny collapsed back on him, utterly pliant, triggering every possessive urge to which Mac was subject. Three, four more careful thrusts and the world exploded for him, spilling deep in Danny, the other’s weight holding him down on Mac’s cock.
It took a while for his senses to return. When they did, he was a little surprised to find that Danny had fallen into a deep sleep while still impaled on Mac’s dick. He wasn’t surprised, however, to find himself still hard. It had taken a lot of years to get where he was and it looked like his body didn’t want to leave any time soon.
Sighing regretfully, Mac withdrew from Danny and propped him on pillows to take care of some clean-up. He relieved himself in the bathroom and then grabbed a washcloth, wetting it with warm water and returning to the bed to wipe Danny down. There wasn’t much to clean up, since they’d both been out of it for quite a while, but he took care of the little present and then tossed the cloth in the hamper. That done, he went out to the living room to turn off the tv and lock the door.
Mac was surprised to discover that it was full dark when he looked out the window. Either they’d gone at it longer than he’d thought, or they’d slept for longer. He hoped for the latter but, guiltily, figured on the former. Mac made a note to call Del the next day and ask if they should bring Danny in for a check-up, relegating himself to well-deserved mortification for what he’d put Danny’s body through, even if they’d both wanted it.
That could wait, though.
Turning resolutely, Mac returned to the bedroom with a glass of milk and Danny’s pills. He sat on the edge of the bed and woke the young man with a gentle squeeze of the hand.
Bleary blue eyes opened from behind Danny’s glasses and he groused, “What? I was havin’ a great dream.”
Mac held up the pill bottle, which prompted a grimace from Danny, but he sat up.
Gasping, Danny complained, “Okay, sitting’s a really bad idea right now. Jeeze, Mac, you really are a grower, aren’t ya?”
Mac snorted, unamused, and held out the pill bottle. “Take two and drink the whole glass of milk.”
“Yes, Sir, whatever you say, Sir,” Danny muttered, taking the bottle from him.
Ignoring the smart remark, Mac walked back around to his side and climbed under the covers. When Danny was done and set the bottle and glass on the bedside table, he also got under the blankets. Danny lay on him face forward this time, shutting up his protest by saying sleepily, “I’m comfy, don’t move.”
Mac smiled into the darkness and pressed his lips to Danny’s forehead. “Night, Danny.”
“Night, Mac,” Danny replied through a yawn.
It didn’t take long before Danny’s breathing evened out, again sound asleep. Mac stared at the ceiling for a long while after that, doing his best not to freak out. He so rarely got what he wanted that he was sure there had to be a catch somewhere. A catch that would mean very bad news for Danny. As it was, they already had to worry about Lindsey at work. A slap on his chest startled Mac out of his thoughts.
“Go to sleep, damn it, you’re keepin’ me up,” Danny ordered, sounding grumpy. “Just turn off that big brain of yours and stop worrying. We got at least a week to come up with a plan, okay? Chill, Mac.”
Mac smiled reluctantly and forced himself to close his eyes. Sooner than he would have thought, Danny’s steady breathing lulled him to sleep.
* * * *
Danny woke utterly comfortable and incredibly sore at the same time. His ribs pinched and it burned to breathe, not to mention that his arm hurt like hell for being pressed up against Mac the way it was. His ass was one big ache, even with the careful, slow fucking he’d gotten the night before. And yet, he was so comfortable and so exactly where he wanted to be that he didn’t want to move ever.
Mac still slept beneath him, chest moving up and down in a slow, easy rhythm. Danny was a little surprised about that, given how long it had taken the other man to fall asleep in the first place. Pressing his lips to the bare skin of Mac’s chest, Danny sighed as deeply as his ribs would allow and started to move. As much as he wanted to stay put, his bladder wouldn’t be denied. Mac’s arm tightened around him when he did and Danny gasped in pain.
Waking instantly, Mac’s arm yanked off Danny and he asked, “You okay? What’s wrong?”
“Nothin,’ just a little too much of a squeeze,” Danny promised, continuing slowly into an upright position. He rested a hand on Mac’s chest when the other man started to sit up. “I’m just using the bathroom, I’ll be right back.”
Mac glanced at the clock and said, “I’ll start breakfast. You need to take your meds with food anyhow.”
Seeing that he wasn’t going to change Mac’s mind, Danny gave in with a wry grin. “You’re going to be like this until I’m back to normal, right?”
“Probably,” Mac admitted.
Danny met him halfway for a short kiss then went to answer nature’s call. The rest of his body protested the movement, so he went slowly.
“God, Danny, we should’ve waited.”
Glancing back, Danny found Mac’s gaze locked on him, that worried expression firmly back in place. He shook his head and stated, “I wanted it, Mac, a lot. I’m not sorry we did it.”
Mac stood and walked over to him, saying, “We should’ve waited anyhow. And we’re going to wait a few more days before trying anything like that again.”
Throwing his hand up in exasperation, Danny retorted, “Whatever. I gotta take a leak. Or do you think I’m too breakable to do that on my own?”
Mac opened his mouth, but closed it again, apparently thinking better of what he’d been going to say.
Danny snorted and continued on his way to the bathroom. It didn’t take long to take care of business and he put on his sweats on the way out to the kitchen. Mac stood at the stove, dressed in sweats and t-shirt, cooking bacon. He looked unbelievably casual and relaxed in a way that Danny couldn’t ever remember seeing before. It took a few seconds for him to realized it was the mussed hair. Grinning as he approached, Danny leaned on the counter and reached up to comb his fingers through the disheveled hair.
Mac looked at him, eyebrows lifting in apparent surprise. “You want me to brush my hair?”
“Nope,” Danny replied, still grinning. “I like it. You should go into work like this, but you’d have to beat them off with a stick. Or I would, and then I’d get in trouble again.”
Mac huffed in amusement and observed, “You’re blind even with your glasses on.”
“Man, that smells good,” Danny exclaimed, ignoring the self-deprecation. “Starving!”
“Where’s your sling?”
“In the bathroom.”
“You should put it on.”
“I’m fine.”
“Danny…”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re supposed to wear it.”
“I’ll put it on later.”
Mac glared at him and stated, “Put it on, or I’ll put it on for you and trust me, it’ll hurt.”
“Defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?” Danny retorted.
“What’s your point?”
“That you’re an overbearing jerk?”
Danny knew he was digging in his heels on something that he shouldn’t be and saying things that he had no business saying, but couldn’t help himself. It was like Mac just flipped a switch and became Boss-Mac and that always went against the grain.
Taking a breath, Mac turned off the burner and faced Danny. Gripping Danny’s good shoulder, he asked, “Please go put on the sling? For me?”
Danny looked away, flushing, as he nodded and quickly left the kitchen. That Mac could so easily put aside his pride shamed him. It was only a day later and he’d already picked a fight. How stupid could he get?
Grabbing the sling off the bathroom counter, he slid it over his arm and then struggled to get it buckled in place.
“Here, let me help you.”
Danny stood still at Mac’s offer and let the other man smooth out the strap and settle everything in place. He winced a couple of times despite Mac’s care, and stayed silent, knowing it would’ve taken a hell of a lot longer without the help. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” Mac replied. He hesitated before continuing, “Danny, this isn’t a competition. I’m not trying to boss you around or plow you under. I’m just looking out for you, okay?”
“I know that, Mac, I do. It’s just…” Danny’s voice trailed off and he looked at his lover in the eye.
“You’re not used to it.”
“Yeah, exactly.”
“You remember yesterday you said you’d let me try and help you?”
Danny sighed. “Yeah.”
“I know that doesn’t happen overnight, so don’t worry about it,” Mac assured him. “Forget it and let’s move on.”
Hopeful, Danny asked, “Really?”
Mac put his hands on Danny’s hips and pulled him in close, sliding his arms around Danny’s waist as he confirmed, “Really.”
Sagging against Mac, Danny rested his cheek against his lover’s shoulder and said, “Thanks.”
They stood there a few minutes before Mac kissed his temple and stood back. “Come on. Food, pills, and then we can veg in front of the tv for a while.”
“Sounds like a plan to me!” Danny replied, smiling in relief.
Breakfast was back to the comfortable chatter of the night before, thankfully, and they were tangled on the sofa shortly after. The argument and trying to get that stupid sling on had taken more out of him than he’d realized, though. One minute he was watching the morning news with Mac and the next he was alone on the sofa. Blinking sleepily, he sat upright and looked around for Mac.
Surprised when he didn’t immediately see the other man, Danny climbed to his feet and called out, “Mac?”
The apartment had an empty feel to it and he frowned. Just as he was about to pick up the phone and call Mac, knowing the other man never went anywhere without it, Mac entered the apartment. There was no emotion on his face, which meant that whatever had happened, wasn’t good.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, unable to help the anxious note in his voice.
Mac slid his cell phone into his pocket and answered, “Nothing. Stella needed some information about something.”
“About what?” Danny persisted.
“It’s work related.”
“How?”
“Danny, drop it, please?”
Danny wanted to press the issue, but bit back the words. This was one of those ‘trust’ situations. He finally asked, “Do I get pizza for lunch?”
Mac blinked at the change in subject, but then grinned. “Tomorrow, if you haven’t had any more stomach pains.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Danny grumbled, smiling as he did. “So, what’s on the agenda for the afternoon?”
Mac grimaced a bit and answered, “I need to pop out of here for a couple of hours. You, however, are going back on the sofa.”
Danny was itching to ask what was going on, but restrained himself. Instead, he said, “I’m too awake for another nap. What do you have for dvds?”
Looking a bit nonplussed, Mac thought about that a few seconds then told him, “I don’t have any.”
“Geeze, Mac. No wonder all the pop culture stuff goes over your head,” Danny teased. “That’s okay. You got pay-per-view, right?”
“I do. Ah, I think. I’m pretty sure,” Mac replied.
Danny laughed and waved at him to go with his good arm. “Get outta here. I’ll find something to entertain myself with.”
Mac walked over to give him a slow, deliberate kiss that left him breathless when it was over and then said, “Don’t do anything to strain yourself while I’m gone or no pizza tomorrow.”
“Who knew you were such a blackmailer?” Danny observed, winking.
Snorting, Mac tweaked his nose before heading out of the apartment.
Danny watched him go, heard the door lock from the outside, and then sighed. He had the feeling that whatever was going on had to do with him. All he could do, though, was hope that IA wasn’t involved and trust that Mac would take care of things.
Mac didn’t like hiding things from Danny. There was no way that he would disturb the other man’s rest for a chemical analysis, though, not even one that could have side-effects to Danny himself. Stella had wanted to tell Danny, but Mac had overridden her. There was no definitive evidence that the younger man’s health was in danger, not yet. Until there was, Mac didn’t want to burden him with something that was, in all likelihood, nothing.
Stella waited in his office with two other men that he didn’t know. The first was tall and slender in his thirties with blond hair and blue eyes that seemed far too intense. Mac’s lips twisted as he thought, A believer. Let’s see in what.
The second man was more average looking and in his late forties, balding and with an expensive suit. Definitely the lawyer or the money. Maybe both.
The observations were automatic as Mac walked by them to his desk, not stopping for introductions. Stella moved to stand behind him, slightly to his right; his back-up, as always. Pinning the older man with a glare, Mac stated, “I’m here on a day off. This better be worth my time.”
“Detective
“And I should care, why?” Mac needled in a bored tone.
Franks’ lips thinned as he replied, “We understand that your Detective Messer was caught in the blast and has been experiencing atypical symptoms during his recovery.”
Eyebrows rising, forcing back the anger that would cloud his judgment, Mac pointed out, “The only way you could know that is to have looked at his medical records or spoken to one of his care-givers. Both of which are illegal without his permissions, which I know for a fact, he hasn’t given.”
Franks cleared his throat and said, “It was brought to our attention, Detective. I can assure you that we didn’t seek out this knowledge.”
“I’m sure,” Mac murmured.
“You need to bring him to our backup lab!” Heath blurted out. “He could be in serious trouble, Detective!”
That got Mac’s attention. Pinning the younger man with a glare, Mac demanded, “What kind of trouble?”
Franks held up a hand, silently warning his client to shut up, and said, “While admitting no fault, Dr. Riley is concerned that some of the chemicals released in the explosion might combine to…adversely effect Detective Messer. More specifically, they were doing DNA research at his lab.”
Mac’s stomach dropped, but he showed nothing as he questioned, “What kind of research?”
“Male fertility,” Dr. Riley stated. “We’ve managed to impregnate several male rats through a combination of gene therapy and chemical treatments.”
The first panicked thought that hit Mac was, We didn’t use a condom.
But the rationality kicked in and he observed, “Danny hasn’t gone through any gene therapy. He was just exposed to the chemicals. He should be perfectly fine.”
Heath nodded and agreed, “Should be, yes. And were it not for those stomach pains, I wouldn’t have even brought this to anyone’s attention. For all we know, his body is rewriting his DNA to form a womb as we speak. Ovaries. Eggs! Maybe all human men need is the chemical treatments. This is such a new and exciting area of research that anything is possible!”
“Danny is not going to become your guinea pig, Dr. Riley. He’s fine.”
“And as long as he refrains from gay sex, I’m sure he’ll continue to be, even with the extra organs floating around inside him. I understand that you brought Detective Messer back to your apartment. That’s rather above and beyond for just a supervisor, isn’t it?” Heath asked pointedly.
Mac restrained himself from punching the man out, but just barely. They were being watched.
The sons of bitches are running surveillance on my apartment! he thought furiously. Aloud, he said, “The x-rays showed no abnormalities.”
“Five days ago. It’s not an instantaneous process, Detective.”
Whether or not Danny had been…altered…there was no way that he would trust his lover in this man’s hands. He had the look of a fanatic and Mac had seen too many times just what happened to those in a fanatic’s supposed care. Standing, he stated, “Detective Messer’s medical history and care are his alone to determine. His privacy is not to be invaded. I can assure you that if I find any surveillance equipment or personnel in, or near, or around my apartment, you will both be charged with a multitude of crimes.”
“And what about the fact that you’re screwing your subordinate, Detective? I’m sure IA would love to know about that,” Heath taunted.
Giving the young man a cold smile, Mac leaned forward on his desk and stated, “I survived the death of a handcuffed suspect falling off a roof. What makes you think that anyone will care about me screwing a subordinate? Any of them?”
At that, Franks put a hand on Heath’s shoulder. “I think it’s time that we leave. We came here in good faith, Detective, hoping to help Detective Messer. If you change your mind, or more accurately if you change his, give us a call.”
Franks put a business card on Mac’s desk and the two men walked out.
Mac sank back in his chair, letting out a shaky breath.
“Jesus, Mac. Now what?” Stella demanded.
The same thought had occurred to Mac, but there was only one answer. “Now we protect Danny.”
* * * *
The entire ride home, Mac tried to think of how to break the news to his new lover. It wasn’t exactly a normal situation and Danny was more vulnerable than most. Just the fact that his body could very well be completely changing on the inside would be enough to send Danny into a tailspin. Add to that the fact that he might already pregnant with Mac’s child and Mac had no idea what would happen when Danny found out the truth.
Mac hesitated outside the door to his apartment, taking a steadying breath. Pulling out his keys, he unlocked the door and stepped inside, turning to relock it automatically. When he turned back, he had just enough time to catch a completely naked Danny, who threw his arms around Mac’s neck and kissed him, hard and hungry.
Startled, Mac nonetheless returned the kiss eagerly. The intensity was a definite turn-on. Things turned up a notch when Danny undid Mac’s pants and slid his hands down Mac’s boxers. He grasped and stroked Mac’s dick while thrusting his tongue into Mac’s mouth, devouring him and scattering his thoughts.
It took all his strength to grab Danny’s shoulders and push him back enough to say, “Danny, stop, we need to talk.”
“Talking later, fucking now,” Danny countered pushing him up against the door.
Mac shook his head and insisted, “Now, Danny! We have to talk about this!”
Instead of answering, Danny slid to his knees and pressed his face to Mac’s groin. Pure lust shot through him and his fingers laced in the short hair as Danny nuzzled against him then sucked on his cock through the fabric. Groaning, Mac forced himself to tug on Danny’s hair until the young man stood and rubbed full-body against him. Danny licked and bit at his throat, pushing a thigh between Mac’s legs as he muttered hot and low, “Need you in me, Mac, need it so bad! Gotta have you, please, please fuck me!”
Mac shuddered and breathed in the most incredible scent as Danny pressed against him. It was almost like the younger man had been working out and the sweat magnified his natural odor, but far more alluring. It filled his senses, turning him around again, making him want only to get as close to Danny as he could.
He guided them to the bedroom, stripping on the way, breaking the kisses up only to pull off his shirt and undershirt. Otherwise, it was a continuous connection, deep and shallow in turn. Danny got settled on the bed as Mac took off the rest of his clothes and grabbed the lube from the bedside table where it rested in a prominent position. He had a brief moment of clarity as he squirted some on his hand and he paused to say, “I need to get a condom.”
“Fuck that,” Danny stated. His legs spread as he smirked and added, “Better yet, fuck me.”
Licking at dry lips, Mac slid his hand under Danny’s ass, rubbing slick fingers along the cleft and then pushing two inside. He gazed avidly at Danny, taking in the gasp and arch of his neck while feeling the clench of muscles around his fingers as they curved up.
“Fuck yeah, Mac, gimme more of that,” Danny groaned.
Mac’s dick had been hard since the kiss at the door, but he kept just enough in control to continue preparing Danny, ignoring the demand. At least until Danny thrust back on his hand with an equal strength. His blood rushed in his ears and all he could smell was Danny, breathing in his lover as he bent down to suck on Danny’s cock. He went slow, enjoying the experience that he’d never thought to truly get. Mac thrilled to the breathless gasps and choked-off moans of his name, working Danny, knowing that he wouldn’t last long inside the young man.
Finally, he stretched out behind Danny, taking up the same position as the night before. Pushing his cock in his lover’s hole, Mac bit at Danny’s shoulder to distract them both and then kept up with the wet, lingering kisses to the bare skin. Spooning up behind Danny, Mac slid an arm around his lover’s waist and pressed in deep with his cock, panting and on overload. His entire body felt on edge, surrounded by Danny even though he did the surrounding.
“Jesus. Danny,” Mac breathed, nuzzling at the other’s ear.
Danny’s good hand laced with Mac’s as he arched his neck again, muttering, “Yeah, yeah, that’s right,” and squeezed tighter around Mac’s dick.
It was like a bomb going off. One second Mac struggled to keep it together and make everything perfect for Danny and the next, he was sprawled over the younger man, breathing even and sweat partially dried. He was still buried deep in Danny, but he’d definitely come. He couldn’t remember the last time that he’d been so affected by a sexual encounter.
Because it’s not just sex, he thought, lightly kissing the back of Danny’s neck. It’s so much more. And if, somehow, there’s a child now, I will be the happiest man on the planet.
No matter what might happen, how bizarre it got, Mac knew he had everything he ever wanted right beside him, snoring obliviously.
* * * *
Danny woke sore for the second time in as many days. Less than, really, since it wasn’t even a full twenty-four hours since the last time they’d…made love. It sounded corny, but there had been more than just sex between them both times, so the phrase fit. He sighed happily and turned to find Mac awake and staring at him. Suddenly self-conscious, he demanded, “What? Did I drool or something?”
Half-smiling, Mac shook his head and answered, “No, it’s not that. I’m jus trying to figure out how to tell you something important. And before you jump to conclusions, no, I don’t want to dump you. Although you might want to dump me after hearing this.”
Danny frowned, shifting awkwardly to sit up. “What is it?”
Sitting as well, Mac explained slowly, “I went to work today because Stella got a call from the guys who ran the lab where the explosion took place.”
“Okay. So?”
“So they were experimenting with male fertility and were concerned that you might have been exposed.”
Danny frowned at him and repeated, “Exposed?”
“To the chemicals that successfully impregnated male rats,” Mac clarified.
No matter how often his father, or uncle, or Sonny, or even Danny himself had called him stupid, he wasn’t. It only took a few seconds of staring at Mac’s grave expression to realized exactly what his lover was worried about. Disbelief wasn’t even an option, not with how Mac looked at him. Anger, however, was definitely an option and hit hard and fast.
“You sonuvabitch! You honestly thought it was possible to knock me up and fucked me anyhow?”
“Danny, I tried to tell you!” Mac exclaimed.
Shoving at Mac with his good arm only sent a jolt of pain through his gut and arm. Danny gasped and didn’t move until the pain had faded.
Mac got off the bed and said firmly, “I’ll go. Don’t hurt yourself, please Danny. Just, stay here for now. I promise I won’t come near you again.”
Danny really wanted to yell at him more, but was too pissed to not say something he’d regret later. He nodded and waited for the other man to leave before letting out a string of curses that would’ve made a sailor proud.
* * * *
Danny sighed and punched the pillow again, but it didn’t help. No matter how angry he was with Mac for holding out on him, he could see how he’d pretty much jumped the guy on walking into the apartment. And to give credit where credit was due, Mac had tried to stop it twice and then get protection, but Danny had overridden him.
Plus, the bed was too damn big without him.
Grumbling to himself, Danny climbed out of the bed and walked across the bedroom to the closed door. He touched the door with his good hand and then just gave in and opened it. The living room was actually a little better lit than the bedroom, with the windows giving in some light from the streetlamps. He saw Mac stretched out on the sofa, an arm pillowing his head as he slept.
Danny walked closer, stopping beside the sofa to look down at his lover with a fond, somewhat rueful smile. They’d been together for about three days and the poor guy was already sleeping on the couch.
Mac’s eyes opened and a concerned expression surfaced, clear even in the semi-dark, and he demanded softly, “Are you all right? What’s wrong?”
In answer, Danny said, “Scoot over,” and proceeded to stretch out beside Mac on the sofa. It was a tight squeeze, but they made it. Mac’s arm around his waist felt strong and secure and Danny sighed in contentment, ignoring the minor ache from his injured shoulder.
“Not that I’m complaining, but what brought this on?” Mac asked, kissing the top of Danny’s head.
Danny smiled and replied, “Just realized I was bein’ an idiot. There’s too much going on for us to get caught up in crap like blame for somethin’ neither of us had control over.”
Mac’s arm tightened briefly and this time, his lips lingered on Danny’s hair before he said, “You’re not an idiot, but I’m glad you’re not angry anymore.”
“Me, too,” Danny sighed. “That bed was too damn big without you, Mac.”
Mac chuckled and pointed out, “So you decided to cram us on the sofa instead?”
“Somethin’ like that.”
“Good. I like this.”
Me, too, Danny echoed silently.
“You should get some sleep. Big day tomorrow.”
Danny kissed Mac’s throat and asked, “What’re we doing?”
“Stella’s going to come over to see what, if anything, is going on with you,” Mac told him.
Praying that this was all just making a mountain out of a mole hill, though something inside denied that, Danny murmured, “It’s just a normal me inside.”
“That’s what I’m hoping for,” Mac replied, hugging him tighter. “No matter what, though, I love you and I’m not going anywhere, Danny. I swear it.”
Something Danny could take to the bank, he knew. If it were true…if he had a baby inside him through some bizarre twist of science and horrendous bad luck…Danny knew he would never find anyone else better than Mac to share his life with. What kind of life that would be, he had no idea, but it wasn’t something he wanted to face alone. And he didn’t have to.
“Danny? You okay?”
Letting out a shaky breath, Danny nodded and said, “Just thinkin’ about what might happen.”
“Don’t,” Mac ordered. “Go to sleep. It’ll all be there in the morning.”
Easier said than done, but with the gentle stroking of Mac’s hand along his back, Danny did finally sleep.
* * * *
Stella paid them a house call the next morning. Danny sat quiet and cooperative as she expertly drew blood, glad to be minus her usual commentary. There were a total of eight vials when she was finished, but he didn’t ask what she planned to use them all for. Well, aside from the obvious, of course.
“I want to take an ultrasound,” she announced, pressing the cotton ball to the small puncture wound on Danny’s arm. “I have an OB-GYN friend who won’t ask questions. You guys up for a field trip?”
Mac looked at Danny, clearly leaving it up to him. Since they had to figure out what might be happening inside him, he nodded. “Sure, yeah.”
“Write down the address for me, I’ll meet you there,” Mac told her.
Danny frowned. “Why don’t we just all ride together?”
“I want to make sure we don’t have company.”
Something that hadn’t even occurred to Danny, but made perfect sense; they were being watched. Or, more accurately, he was. Mac was just collateral. Sighing, Danny said, “Sorry, Mac.”
Mac cupped Danny’s face and stated, “None of this is your fault. You have nothing to be sorry about, understood?”
Nodding, Danny half-smiled and offered, “Then I definitely didn’t accidentally knock over and break that glass in the bathroom.”
With a soft laugh, Mac kissed him briefly. “I’ll be right behind you.”
Reluctant to leave Mac, Danny nonetheless took the coat and accepted Mac’s help getting it on while Stella gathered the vials. His shoulder still hurt, but not as much. It was his stomach that ached consistently and that put a fear in him that he didn’t want to examine too close. Stella had also gone into the kitchen and returned with a couple of bottles of water.
“Here. Drink these on the way.”
Danny took the plastic bottles and cracked one open. Following Stella out, Danny almost chickened out, but he hadn’t gotten to where he was by not facing reality. They needed to get things settled one way or the other and that was that. He finished the first water by the time they reached her SUV.
Stella’s hand landed on his thigh in a comforting gesture once they were on the road. He flashed her a small smile and returned to looking out the window. It was good to have someone other than Mac in on the insanity and having that someone be Stella reassured him. He was pretty sure Flack would freak out and that Hawkes would just want to study him like the people who’d done this to him. Lindsey…
Nope, not going there, he thought firmly.
It took surprisingly little time to get to a high-rise medical building in mid-town where Stella parked in the underground garage. He drank the last of the water and left the bottle in the car. Looking over at her, Danny commented, “I figured your friend would be like, Planned Parenthood.”
She grinned and wagged a finger at him. “Assumptions, Danny.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, but grinned back.
The office was on the fifth floor and really nicely decorated. Not so cutesy that any guys accompanying their wives or girlfriends would feel uncomfortable or out of place, which he appreciated.
“Stella!” a pretty
The two women hugged and exchanged kisses that lingered a bit longer than strictly necessary, confirming some suspicions he’d had about Stella all along. Not that he was going to bring it up.
Stella turned towards him and introduced, “Marta, this is Danny, a friend of mine.”
Danny shook her hand, but didn’t say anything since he had no idea what Stella had told her.
“You can use exam two,” Marta told them. “Take your time. Let me know if you need anything else.”
“Thanks, Marta, I appreciate this,” Stella said, squeezing the other woman’s hand.
Marta motioned them towards the back area with a smile.
Following Stella, first into the back office area and then the exam room, Danny couldn’t help the nervousness that spread through him. This was it. They would find out whether he’d been…changed…
“Okay, Danny. On the table for me, honey,” Stella ordered gently.
Danny swallowed against a too-dry throat and did as he was told, waiting while she got the equipment ready. He held onto his shirt when she reached for it, asking, “Can’t we wait for Mac?”
She winked and nodded. “We can wait for as long as you can hold it.”
Danny snorted as he retorted, “And people think I’m crude.”
“You are. I’m just worse,” she teased, grinning. “Stay put. I’m going to have some tests run on your blood.”
He was just starting to get uncomfortable when a tap on the door preceded Mac’s entrance. Relieved, Danny let out a shaky breath and accepted Mac’s hand when his lover reached for him.
“Sorry about that,” Mac apologized. “Took longer than expected.”
Danny bit his lip and questioned, “Trouble?”
“Nothing we need to worry about right now,” Mac assured him.
Stella came back in just then and took up position on the other side of Danny. This time, he didn’t stop her lifting his shirt. “Okay. This is going to be a little cold.”
Danny hissed as the viscous liquid hit his abdomen. “Man, you weren’t kidding!”
His gaze turned to the monitor, like theirs did, and for a few seconds, had on idea what he was looking at. Then his mind conjured up 3D version of female anatomy to match with what he saw and he nearly passed out. “Jesus fuck. I have a uterus!”
Mac immediately moved closer, his free hand squeezing Danny’s shoulder as he asked, “What else changed?”
Stella moved the wand side-to-side in a steady motion revealing a complete set of female organs.
“In less than a week,” Danny muttered, numb. “How the fuck does it happen at all, never mind in less than a week?”
Mac looked worried as he pointed out, “Not a complete set. There’s no vagina.”
“Oh my God! You said ‘vagina!’ About me!” Danny moaned.
Wincing, Mac soothed, “This could all be temporary. And you’re probably not pregnant, since there’s no way for the semen to have reached your ovaries. Not from, ah, your anus.”
Danny groaned, mortified.
“Assuming, firstly, that things were fully formed when you two had sex,” Stella mused. “If they weren’t, then who knows? The organs could have been free floating at the time and…”
Mac interrupted, “Stella! You’re not helping!”
Clearing her throat, Stella took the wand off Danny’s stomach and said, “Right. Sorry. All I can say right now is everything looks perfectly healthy.”
“For a woman!” Danny shouted. “I’m a man!”
A wince from each of them at that and Danny pushed upright, grabbing tissues to wipe his abs clean. Danny was shaking enough that he didn’t protest when Mac wrapped his arms around him. He leaned on Mac, breathing in the now-familiar scent and slowly calming down, at least superficially. The steady pass of Mac’s hand up and down his back helped.
“It’s going to be okay, Danny, I promise,” Mac murmured against his ear. “I’m here no matter what, remember?”
Danny’s arms tightened around Mac’s waist and he did his best to block out everything except that fact.
The good news was that Danny had a hell of a lot of sick and vacation time built up. So did Mac. It allowed them both to call in indefinitely. Mac took them off the roster for the next month so they could concentrate on Danny and the changes going on in his body. They hadn’t told anyone except Stella what was going on, but Mac knew they’d have to let Flack in on it soon, what with the cars patrolling his neighborhood. He sat at his window often enough to recognize the blue Ford and black
“Mac?”
Turning at Danny’s sleep call, Mac smiled at the sight his lover presented; wild hair and squinty blue eyes as he yawned hugely. Turning from the window, he walked over to the younger man and pulled him in for a tight hug before asking, “What’s wrong?”
“You tell me,” Danny countered, sounding annoyed. “I woke up ‘n you were gone.”
Mac sighed and kissed his mouth briefly before admitting, “I wanted to take a look around.”
Danny rubbed his eyes, asking, “What for?”
Not willing to put his vague fears into something concrete like words, especially since it would just worry Danny, Mac shrugged and evaded, “Just me being a worrier, as you like to say.”
Danny frowned, but only wrapped his arms around Mac’s waist as he mumbled against his throat, “Come back t’bed. ‘M tired.”
Something else that worried Mac. Danny had been sleeping a lot more than was normal for a young guy in good health. But then, his body wasn’t really that of a young man’s anymore; more like a young hermaphrodite, despite the lack of vagina as yet. And the changes continued, because at his most recent ultrasound, Stella had found his organs completely intact and in place for use as a woman would. The only thing missing, really, was the vagina.
Mac wasn’t sure if the sleeping was just because Danny’s body was working overtime, or he was depressed, or both. Rubbing his hand up and down his lover’s back, Mac thought reluctantly, Probably both. Nuzzling Danny’s ear, he murmured, “Go back to bed, baby. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
Danny grumbled, but turned around and went back into the bedroom.
Mac watched him go with a fond smile, but then turned and went back to the window, the smile fading fast. Across the street, the Ford sat waiting, at least one man visible from the apartment window. He walked over to the phone and dialed Flack, knowing it couldn’t be put off any longer. Danny had left it up to his discretion to bring Flack in or not with a shrugged, “I don’t care. It’s not like Flack’s gonna blab to anyone about it. ‘Sides, he’s a good friend and probably oughta know.”
Flack picked up with an irritated, and sleep roughened, “There better be a body without a pulse involved.”
Wincing as he looked at the clock, Mac said apologetically, “Sorry, Don, it’s me.”
“What’s wrong?” Flack demanded, sounding more alert.
“Nothing. Or, not yet anyhow. Can you swing by before your shift in the morning?”
“Yeah sure. You sure there’s nothing wrong? I could come by now.”
Mac smiled briefly at the show of support and assured him, “We’re fine, I just didn’t realize how late it was. We’ll see you around seven?”
“I’ll be there with bells on,” Flack answered, dry.
Chuckling, Mac hung up and made a last round of the apartment, making sure everything was locked and bolted, then headed for the bedroom. He stripped out of his boxers and slid in behind Danny, spooning up around his lover with a deep, contented sigh.
Danny’s fingers laced with his as he yawned through a complaint of, “‘Bout time you got here. Who’re you talkin’ to?”
Mac kissed the back of his neck and soothed, “Sorry. I called Don. He’ll be here in the morning.”
“It is morning,” Danny grumbled.
Huffing in amusement, Mac amended, “Later in the morning. Get some sleep.”
Unexpectedly, Danny rolled over and pinned him to the mattress, sitting across Mac’s hips as he pointed out, “I’m awake now. I think you should do something about that.”
Mac grinned up at him and asked, “Oh you do, do you?”
“Yep. It’s your fault I’m awake in the first place.”
Mac flipped them so that Danny was on his back and then they wrestled for a few minutes, grunts of effort turning into half-choked moans of arousal as they slid against one another, struggling to pin each other. He finally managed to not only get Danny under him, but face down on the mattress, holding him there with a knee in the back and his good arm twisted back around like he was a suspect.
Laughing breathlessly, Danny mouthed off, “Gonna frisk me now?”
“I think I might,” Mac retorted. “Who knows where you might hide a weapon.”
“Oh yeah, watch out for the bear trap in my asshole.”
Mac laughed and slapped Danny on the ass, teasing, “Let me check that!”
Danny laughed louder as Mac bit and blew raspberries against his lower back and ass, letting go of the arm to squeeze and tickle elsewhere. Grinning, extremely pleased by the playful behavior, Mac reached for the lube on the bedside table and squirted some right over Danny’s hole. Danny moaned when two of Mac’s fingers pushed inside, working him open fast and a little rough, eager to be inside his lover. He grabbed the condom, a necessity now, and rolled it on as fast as he could.
They both groaned in pleasure when Mac pushed, slow and without pause. He rocked in and out of Danny in a slow rhythm, pulling almost all the way out before thrusting back in.
“God, Mac, you feel so fuckin’ good,” Danny gasped. “Gimme more, I can take it!”
But Mac kept it nice and easy for several minutes, teasing them both and backing off whenever they seemed to get closer to orgasm. Danny squirmed under him, pushing back as he went onto his elbows, legs spreading out in silent demand. Mac finally took pity on them both and thrust harder, arching in at an angle until Danny cried out in pure pleasure, jerking back on him hard. Mac kept it up, undulating onto that spot every time. Danny finally shouted and collapsed on the bed, coming without a touch to his cock. Mac followed him down, letting himself go and humping into his lover with only the need to come dictating him until it finally happened.
Plastered to Danny’s sweaty back, Mac panted just as much as Danny did while they slowly regained their senses. When he could finally move again, Mac carefully withdrew, keeping hold of the condom as he pulled out. He went cold on seeing that it had torn and no longer covered his dick, come dripping from the end of his shaft. Looking at Danny’s contented face, the other man snuggled into the pillow, Mac swallowed hard and disposed of the wreck of latex.
He walked to the bathroom and ran a facecloth under warm water, going back to the bed to clean as much of the come from Danny as he could. The younger man grumbled, more than half-asleep, but didn’t protest when the cloth pushed inside him. Mac knew it wasn’t enough, that the damage had been done, but it gave him something to do.
Finally satisfied that nothing else could be done, he threw the cloth at the bathroom and spooned up behind Danny once more. This time, he pulled the covers over them and hoped Danny wouldn’t wake again until morning.
* * * *
Danny woke sore in a really pleasant way and grinned happily as he rolled onto his back and stretched. He felt…good…not restless or ready to jump out of his skin at the slightest noise anymore. He knew that Mac was worried about how much time he spent in bed, but it had mostly been to avoid the whole, “I need to get outta here or kill someone” vibe that had pretty much taken him over. And since he knew Mac wouldn’t let him out and, logically, knew he shouldn’t with those eggheads looking for him, Danny had spent the majority of his time in bed.
Climbing out of bed, he padded over to the shower, humming under his breath as he turned on the water and stuck his tongue out at his reflection. Partway through his shower he heard voices and quickly rinsed the shampoo out of his hair to hop out of the tub and dry off. He wanted to catch Flack before he left. Needed to make sure the cop was really okay with everything going on.
That they were okay.
He threw on sweats and a tee before rushing out of the bathroom and then the bedroom to get to the living room. Flack sat at the table with Mac, both of them talking over steaming mugs of coffee and plates of eggs and bacon that set Danny’s stomach to rumbling when he got close enough to smell it.
Mac gave him a fond look and asked, “Hungry?”
“Maybe a little,” he answered sheepishly.
Taking his hand, Mac tugged Danny onto his lap, astonishing him with the open gesture. Flack was a good friend, but still.
“You know, Messer. If anyone was gonna get sprayed with some kind of weird DNA changing thing, it’d be you,” Flack informed him with a grin.
Danny made a face at him, even as he picked up a piece of bacon and retorted, “You’re a laugh riot, Flack.”
“I try,” Flack returned, grinning. “So, how’re you feeling? Any urges to paint your toenails or wear a dress?”
Snorting, Danny countered, “What makes you think that’d be new?”
Flack blinked at him, obviously floored and not knowing how to react.
Danny started laughing and couldn’t stop.
The cop made a face at him. “Ha ha, very funny.”
Danny snickered as he took the cup of juice Mac gave him, washing down the laughter and settling more easily on his lover’s lap.
“In any case, we’ve got people on our block about every other day and I can’t take the time to roust them on my own, or Danny wouldn’t have anyone here, just in case,” Mac said, rubbing a hand over Danny’s back.
Flack scowled and demanded, “Who do these jokers think they are, sittin’ on a cop’s place like that?”
Mac leaned forward to rest against Danny’s back as he answered, “Above the law, is what they think. But you can’t do this officially, or there’ll be too many questions about the whole situation.”
“So what do you want me to do?”
“Roust them quietly?” Danny guessed.
Mac chuckled, but agreed, “Exactly. Give them some tickets. Maybe bring them in for loitering. Send a couple of uniforms by on horseback to, well, smoke them out, so to speak.”
Danny interpreted, “Shit on their car.”
Flack grinned and it was a fairly evil thing to see. “Can do, guys. Look, you need anything? I mean, can I do something else?”
“We’re good, but thanks, Don,” Mac answered, lightly tapping Danny’s back to get him up.
Danny stood and they walked Flack to the door. He held out a hand and said, “Thanks, man. I really appreciate this.”
Unexpectedly, Flack tugged him in for a very brief, but very tight hug. “Whatever you need. You guys’re family, got it?”
Swallowing against a tight throat, Danny nodded and stepped back while Flack and Mac shook hands before the cop left. Once the door closed behind the other man, Danny turned to find Mac giving him one of his ‘we need to talk’ looks. Groaning, Danny asked, “Now what?”
Mac visibly took a breath before answering, “Danny…the condom broke last night. I cleaned up what I could, but…”
Danny’s eyes widened, his hand going immediately to his stomach as he understood what Mac was worried about. He breathed, “Shit,” and felt like he was going to pass out.
At his side right away, Mac supported him with an arm around the waist and hurried him over to the sofa. Danny put his head between his knees without protest, gasping for air that wouldn’t come. Mac held him tight and murmured nonsense words until finally, the gray receded and he could sit without feeling like he was going to faint. “Jesus, this isn’t something a guy should have to worry about!”
Mac sighed, looking sympathetic as he agreed, “Not from that end of things, anyhow.”
Hesitant, Danny asked, “Did, did you and Claire ever worry about this?”
A wistful expression surfaced as Mac shook his head and answered, “I always thought Claire was barren. I didn’t know otherwise until recently. I mean, we talked about children, but in a vague, ‘maybe later’ kind of way. Honestly, I thought we would probably adopt.”
Danny half-smiled as he said shyly, “I think you’d be a great dad, Mac.”
Cupping his face, Mac told him, “Only because you’ve made me a better person, Danny. You and Claire…you both bring me out of myself, remind me that I’m human and so is everyone else. It’s just one of the things I love about you.”
Throat tight again, Danny ordered, “Stop that or you really will turn me into a woman, because I’ll do something stupid like cry.”
“Trust me, Danny. No matter how many female organs you have, you’re definitely a man,” Mac replied, a wry grin flashing at him.
Danny grinned, the moment past, and quipped, “Now you’re really gonna make me cry.”
Mac rolled his eyes.
* * * *
The next week was filled with uncertainty on both their parts, but Danny knew they couldn’t rush biology, even altered biology. It took time for things to show up on tests and besides which, they had to wait for Stella to take blood and run it before getting a definitive answer. The home pregnancy tests might show a false positive, given his testosterone levels, which were still within a normal range.
So they waited two weeks for her to administer the tests and another three days for it to come back. When the light knock at the door signaled a woman, Danny jumped off the sofa to answer it, eager for the test results. To his shock, Lindsay stood on the other side of the door instead of Stella, and he just gaped at her.
“Not going to invite me in?”
“Danny? Is it Stella?”
Caught between them, Danny looked helplessly from one to the other, no idea how to respond.
“No, Mac, it’s just me,” Lindsay answered. “I’d like to speak to Danny, if that’s okay with your controlling, despotic rules.”
Danny sighed. “Lindsay, he’s not…”
Lindsay interrupted angrily, “What do you call it, when no one except Stella or Flack has seen you for weeks on end? Have you even left his apartment? Because you look healthy enough to do so to me!”
“Linds, you don’t know…” Danny’s voice trailed off.
“Don’t know what?”
The sheer frustration in her voice was enough to make him wince, not to mention roil his already troubled stomach.
Mac stepped forward, putting a hand on Danny’s shoulder as he stated, “Lindsay, I think you should leave.”
But Lindsay crossed her arms over her chest and countered sharply, “I’m not going anywhere, Mac. Not until Danny tells me he’s okay and he wants me to leave. Because this isn’t normal, by anyone’s standards. What the hell are you doing to him, keeping him chained to the bed? He looks terrible! Do you even feed him? I want answers, and I want them now, or I’m starting an official investigation.”
Danny knew from the stubborn tone and tilt of the head that Lindsay wasn’t going to back down. Unfortunately, he also knew from Mac’s stance that his lover wouldn’t either. Sighing, Danny asked, “Mac, give us a few minutes, okay? Go get some milk or something. Or, I know. I really could go for some of that, you know, whatsit? The garlic stuffed olives! Those were really good.”
Mac snorted, but grabbed his coat and kissed Danny’s cheek as he walked out. He also bent down to say something to Lindsay that made her pale, but didn’t seem to shake her resolve. Danny stepped back to let her in, closing and locking the door behind Mac before facing Lindsay again.
She looked around the apartment before glancing back at him. For the first time, she looked uncertain, biting her lip as she asked, “Are you okay? He’s gone now, so you can tell me the truth. We can leave, if he’s holding you here against your will, Danny. I promise I can protect you from him.”
Danny didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at her words, maybe both. What was it about him that made people think he needed protecting? He smiled at her and closed the distance between them, pulling her into a hug and resting his chin on the top of her head as he said, “I’m fine, Montana, I promise. Mac’s not hurtin’ me and I’m not here because he chains me to the bed.”
She sighed deeply and held tight, pressing her face to his chest.
They stayed like that for a few minutes before Danny pulled back and smiled down at her, suggesting, “How about we take a seat? We can catch up.”
“Sounds good,” she agreed, smiling up at him.
They talked slowly at first, the break-up still there between them, even if it had been a few weeks since he’d moved into Mac’s apartment. They’d never really had an actual break-up scene, so there’d been no closure for either of them. Glancing at the clock, knowing that they didn’t have all that much longer before Mac got back, Danny took her hand and said, “I didn’t mean to lead you on, Linds, I swear it. I just…Mac an’ me, we never…shit, this is hard. I love him, okay? And right now we need to be together without work getting in the way. Not you or Peyton, but all the other shit that’s gonna happen once we step through the doors. If we step through those doors again.”
Looking troubled, Lindsay replied, “It’s not the dark ages, Danny. People know and respect both of you. It doesn’t matter if you’re g-gay or whatever. You can go back to work and not let this one aspect of your life dominate things.”
If you only knew, Danny thought with a sigh. And while he wanted to tell her, he didn’t quite trust her enough for that. Not yet. “Maybe. But right now, I just need to be here, okay?”
It was her turn to sigh, but she nodded, too. “Okay. Just…don’t forget there’s other people who, who care about you, besides Mac.”
He hugged her again and kissed her forehead before promising, “I won’t.”
As breakups went, it was pretty painless. Mac had done all the heavy lifting, getting her anger at work out of the way. And maybe she would always blame Mac instead of Danny, he didn’t know. Whatever the case, by the time she left, Mac was just coming back into the apartment with Stella. They both looked tense, which Lindsay picked up on, but didn’t take time to comment about. She just nodded at Stella and ignored Mac on her way out.
Once the door closed again, Danny demanded, “Hit me, Stel. What’s the news?”
She looked a bit helpless as she answered plainly, “You’re pregnant, Danny. We’ll have to do another ultrasound to see how it happened, but…you’re definitely pregnant. I ran the test myself, three times.”
Danny swallowed heavily in shock, barely feeling Mac’s arms around him as his legs buckled and they both landed on the floor, though not as hard as he would’ve if Mac hadn’t caught him. Burying his face against Mac’s throat, Danny held on tight and prayed that things wouldn’t get any weirder.
* * * *
Mac was relieved, and worried, when Danny didn’t protest being put to bed after the news Stella had relayed. He stayed there for a few minutes, stroking Danny’s hair with the younger man’s eyes firmly closed, even though they both knew he wasn’t anywhere near asleep. Finally leaving, he rejoined Stella in the living room and poured them both a drink, handing the tumbler over to her as he sat beside her.
She raised the glass and toasted, “Mazel tov.”
Mac snorted, but replied, “Thanks,” and clinked their glasses together. The burn of the brandy felt damn good and he sighed, closing his eyes and leaning back against the sofa cushions.
“Now’s the time to freak, Mac.”
His lips twisted a bit as he replied, “Strangely, I’m not freaking. I’m just glad we know for sure and worried about Danny.”
“If a vagina doesn’t form, and I think it’s safe to say that it won’t since it hasn’t yet, then there’s always a C-section,” Stella pointed out practically. “When he gets close, I’ll just move in so I can be here when labor hits.”
Mac nodded, though he didn’t open his eyes. He couldn’t help wondering what Danny would look like at five, seven, and nine months. What foods he would crave. Would his feet swell?
“Mac, c’mon. You have to be freaking out a little,” Stella pressed.
Opening his eyes, Mac grinned at her and shook his head. “I’m really not, Stel. I know I should be, but hell. This is probably my only chance to have a kid anyhow, since Danny’s it for me. I could’ve wished for us to have more time just as us, but other than that? No regrets. Not on my part, anyhow.”
She downed her brandy and told him, “You are way the hell too well-adjusted, anyone ever tell you that?”
Chuckling, Mac put his arm over her shoulder as she settled against him and finished his own drink before countering, “Talk to me when Danny’s in labor or if something goes wrong. Then you’ll see me freaking out.”
“Nothing’s going to go wrong,” Stella vowed. “I’ll be here every step of the way.”
Mac kissed her temple, wondering if that would even be possible, or if Dr. Riley would force their hand. Mac knew that he would go underground at the first sign that Riley was even thinking of taking Danny. He was already planning for just such a thing, pooling money in accounts under false names, getting IDs ready, and trying to find someone he could trust in another state who was a doctor. The list was short, but there was a list, all men he’d known in the service.
Stella sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. “If you take off without me, I’ll hunt you down,
Mac grinned and said, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
When she poked him in the stomach, Mac’s grin faded and he squeezed her tight, knowing they would have need of such good friends in the coming months.
The honeymoon, as it were, was over. Mac had to go back to work or resign and Danny had insisted that he go to work. One of them on leave was more than enough, he’d kept saying. Flack’s guys would keep doing fly-bys and Danny would keep the door locked and bolted and the new security system on until he got home at night. And while he knew his lover was right, it was still difficult to leave their warm bed and the sleeping man in it that morning.
Mac took one last look at Danny, still sound asleep under the covers, and smiled fondly. His face had filled out a little as he’d gained weight, though most of the extra had gone right to his growing belly. Mac imagined that this was what Danny might have looked like as a teenager, just a little softer than he’d grown into as a man. He kissed Danny on the forehead and left the bedroom swiftly before he changed his mind altogether and stayed home.
Traffic was light and he was at the lab before he knew it, staring at hundreds of emails and an inbox that had exploded in a month. Shaking his head, Mac was glad of the early hour and started plowing through the emails.
His office door opened and Stella exclaimed, “There you are! How long have you been here?”
Mac looked first at his watch and then up at her and replied, “Three hours.”
“Then it’s time for a break,” she said firmly. “Come get coffee and tell me how Danny’s doing.”
It had been all of three days since she’d last seen him, but Mac was more than happy to talk about his favorite subject. A stretch of the legs after three hours of work wouldn’t go amiss, either.
Outside, he said, “Danny seems to have caught a second wind. He’s energetic and almost slightly hyper. We were taking walks together twice a day the last couple days so I don’t know what he’s going to do while I’m gone.”
“Because he’s not going out alone,” Stella supplied.
Mac nodded. “We’re not going to risk it. The new security system was installed yesterday finally.”
“Have you seen those goons hanging around again?”
“No, but I know they’re around. It sounds strange to say, but…I can sense them, you know?”
Stella offered him a rueful smile as she said, “I’ve learned never to discount parental intuition, Mac, and you’re a pretty sharp cookie on top of that.”
“I work on logic and evidence, Stella, intuition isn’t exactly my strong suit,” Mac countered dryly.
They arrived at the kiosk and waited at the back of the line. It was a favorite of most of the people who worked on that block and there was always a line.
“I think Lindsay’s starting to cool off.”
Mac’s eyebrows lifted at the random statement. “Oh?”
Stella grinned at him and told him, “I’ve been consoling her after shifts and letting her vent while strategically telling her stories about life in the lab before she arrived.”
Frowning, Mac asked, “Why would that make a difference?”
Rolling her eyes, Stella observed, “You really are clueless, aren’t you? You and Danny were a thing even before you were a thing. And as long as she knows that from an independent third party, like me, then it doesn’t sting her pride as much to lose Danny to you.”
“We were not a…”
“Say, ‘Thank you, Stella.’”
Mac huffed in amusement, but echoed, “Thank you, Stella.”
It was finally their turn and Mac ordered a black coffee while Stella got a cappuccino. He turned to scan the area as a matter of habit and took in the busy morning rush. It was only just after nine, so there were plenty of people still hurrying to get to work. Something seemed off about the traffic though and he frowned just as he heard the unmistakable sound of gunfire. He instinctively turned and tackled Stella to the pavement, hearing screams mingle with the loud cracks of an automatic weapon.
And then fire exploded in his head and blackness took over.
* * * *
Stella grunted in pain at the impact of the curb to her ribs, Mac a heavy, protective weight on top of her. It was instinct that had her covering her head as the bullets flew and then, went Mac went slack on her, she rolled them closer to the cover of the kiosk. Silence finally returned, echoing loudly with the lack of gunfire, and she immediately pulled out her cell as she examined Mac for whatever injury had knocked him out.
Before she’d even dialed 911 though, sirens wailed from a close distance. That made perfect sense, given they were right outside the lab. There were plenty of cops and civil employees in the area. Shoving her cell back in her pocket, she kept looking Mac over and found a bullet graze along the side of his head. No penetration, though, and she sagged in relief. The shock of the pain from the bullet must have rendered him unconscious.
“Miss, miss, are you all right?”
Stella looked up, dazed, and found an EMT crouching beside them. She nodded and said, “I’m fine, my friend isn’t. He was creased by a bullet.”
As the EMT looked Mac over, Stella looked at the other people all around them. It had been a massacre, just like it should have been with someone opening fire on a crowded midtown sidewalk with an automatic weapon. Motionless bodies lay where they’d fallen. The wounded were crying and moaning in pain. She saw Ginny, the girl who owned the kiosk, dead with the back of her head missing, likely hit by more than one bullet. EMTs and uniformed cops were already on scene, doing their best to help the wounded.
She forced herself to focus just on Mac since she couldn’t do anything for anyone else just then. It seemed like forever before Mac came around, groaning and squinting against the penlight the EMT shone in his eyes. “Stella?”
“I’m fine, Mac, you got me clear,” she replied instantly. “Let him look you over.”
The EMT announced, “It’s a deeper wound than I like, so we’re going to the hospital to make sure there’s no damage to the skull. He’s going to need stitches anyhow.”
“I’ll ride with him,” Stella said.
Quirking a grin at her, the EMT replied, “Yeah, you will. I see you favoring those ribs.”
She grimaced, but didn’t dispute his observation. Between them, they got Mac upright and slowly walked over to the nearest ambulance. They settled him down on the gurney inside and Stella sat on the empty one next to the EMT. It was a few minutes later that they were at a hospital and Mac was swiftly unloaded while the EMT helped her step down from the ambulance.
After x-rays and being bandaged up, she had two cracked ribs, Stella finally thought to call Danny. There’d been plenty of reporters at the crime scene and he’d likely seen them on tv. The phone rang several times before going to voicemail and fear slithered through her. What if he’d left the apartment and been taken by those goons? Or what if the sight of the rampage had sent him into some kind of physical distress and he couldn’t get to the phone?
“Danny! Danny, call me as soon as you get this! Mac’s okay. We’re at St. Theresa’s and we’re both fine.”
Stella hung up and called Flack, heart racing with the fear of unknown possibilities.
“Stella! You okay? Where’s Mac?” Don instantly demanded.
Letting out a shaky breath at his reassuringly strong voice, Stella answered, “We’re okay. We’re at St. Theresa’s. But Don, I called the apartment and Danny didn’t answer. What if, what if they did this to get him out of the apartment?”
Don cursed and said, “I can’t leave, Stel. I’m at the scene now and there’s no way I can leave.”
“Okay, no, that’s right, you stay there,” she replied. “I’ll go to the apartment and make sure he’s okay.”
“Call me when you get there.”
“I will.”
She hung up and hurried as best she could out of the ER area. The doctors and nurses were so swamped with incoming wounded that no one paid her the least bit of attention. Stella literally ran into Danny on her way out and he immediately hugged her tight, exclaiming, “You’re okay. Thank God, you’re okay!”
“Danny, what are you doing here?” she demanded, pulling back, wincing.
Worried, Danny gripped her shoulder and asked, “Where are you hurt? And where’s Mac? I saw him mobile, saw you both on tv.”
Leaning on him as they headed back into the hospital, Stella explained, “I cracked a couple of ribs when Mac tackled me to the curb, but I’m fine. Mac got creased by a bullet along the right side of his head, but he’s fine too. He was conscious and aware when we got him on the ambulance. They took him to x-ray and are going to stitch him up.”
“Jesus,” Danny breathed, paling.
Stella guided him to the chairs by the wall and gently pushed him into one. Sitting beside him, she took his pulse and found it much too fast. “Danny, you have to calm down, okay? This isn’t good for your condition. Look at me. Danny! Look. At. Me!”
Dilated eyes finally focused on her and then Danny bent forward, putting his head between his knees. She rubbed his back and murmured softly to him, trying to get him to calm down, telling him that Mac would be fine. Finally, he slowly sat back up. He still looked pale, but he didn’t seem nearly as panicked.
She offered a smile and said, “That’s better. Come on. Let’s get you some juice and then we’ll go find Mac. He should be done by then.”
Danny nodded. “Yeah, yeah okay. I could use something to drink. Too bad we can’t put a little kick in it.”
Stella chuckled and they stood again. Breathing a sigh of relief that she’d only been paranoid before, she tucked an arm along his waist and they headed for the elevator.
* * * *
Danny had been laughing his way through a verbal catfight on The View when the ‘breaking news’ cut into the show with a live feed from the drive-by. His stomach had twisted with fear as he immediately recognized the kiosk as a department favorite and then seen Stella and Mac in the background, on the ground with an EMT. He’d been glued to the television until the EMT and Stella helped Mac to his feet and over to an ambulance, though the camera kept panning around instead of staying where he needed it to be.
Once sure that they were relatively all right, Danny jumped to his feet and rushed into the bedroom. He tugged on a pair of Mac’s jeans since his own were too small for him now and grabbed on of his sweatshirts. That plus the jacket would keep him warm enough. He also unlocked his gun and badge from the safe, clipping both to his belt as a precaution. While Danny agreed that going out just to go out was an unnecessary risk, no way in hell would he stay in the apartment while his lover and best friend were at the hospital.
Knowing traffic would be insane, he strode as fast as he could to the nearest subway stop and hopped trains all the way to midtown, coming up a block or so from the scene. He spotted Flack in the middle of organizing everything and didn’t interfere, instead grabbing the nearest uniform and flashing his badge to demand, “Where are the injured being taken?”
“St. Theresa’s,” the guy answered.
Danny hurried back to the subway and rode the four blocks to the hospital, going in just as Stella was leaving in a rush. Probably to find him, he knew. The panic attack after learning that Mac had caught a bullet in his head took a lot from him, but he finally pulled it together enough to go with Stella to the cafeteria and get some juice. He mixed it with some seltzer, needing some fizz to settle his stomach.
Stella covered his hand with her own and said, “I’m glad you’re here, but Mac’s going to be pissed you left the apartment.”
“Too bad,” Danny retorted. “I got my gun and badge, so that’s gonna have to do. No way would I stay home with you two hurt like that. You don’t think…could those guys have done this because of me?”
Her hand squeezed his briefly before she replied, “I don’t think so, Danny. There were plenty of other cops and even some DA’s in that line. Any of us could have been the target. And besides, if it had been them, why didn’t they grab you while you were alone?”
It was a good point and he relaxed a little. There were plenty of thugs who’d want to come after any of them at any time. And the location was known to be a favorite because the coffee was so damn good.
Finishing his drink, he said, “Okay, I’m good. Let’s go find Mac.”
She nodded and they left the busy cafeteria to try and track down Mac. It took longer than he liked, but with the chaos of all the injured, Danny did his best to stay patient. Some twenty minutes later they were directed to a room; Mac had been admitted for observation due to a severe concussion.
When they got there, Mac was either out cold or sound asleep. Danny breathed a sigh of relief, not realizing just how tense he’d been until that moment when he could relax. He walked to the bed and sat on the edge of it, taking his lover’s hand in his and kissing the palm. There was a large bandage on the right side of Mac’s head, but he was otherwise unscathed.
Stella rubbed his shoulder and said, “I’ll leave you two alone. I’m going to help Flack out at the scene.”
“You sure you’re well enough to do that?” Danny questioned.
Nodding, Stella promised, “I won’t do too much bending and lifting, believe me. Take care of Mac.”
Danny half-grinned. “I will, don’t worry about that.”
She chuckled and left the room, the door closing softly behind her.
Left alone with his lover, Danny took a deep breath and slowly released it. Shaking his head, he said, “You scared the hell out of me, Mac. Don’t ever do that again. Thank God you and Stella are all right. I don’t know what I would do without either of you.”
Mac’s brow furrowed and then he blinked at Danny, his hand spasming on their joined grip. “Danny? What happened?”
“You were shot, Mac,” Danny said gently. “There was a drive-by at the kiosk at work, remember? You tackled Stella out of the way and got a bullet along the side of your head. You’ve got a bad concussion, so you’re here for observation. And I’m here because you’re here, so don’t give me any guff about it. I can take care of myself.”
Mac offered a wan smile as he replied, “Wouldn’t dare.”
Danny chuckled and said, “Good. Get some sleep, baby. I’m here and no one’s going to bother either of us at a hospital.”
“Think I will,” Mac mumbled, his eyes drifting shut.
Bending forward, Danny kissed his unmarked temple and then stood up to pull a chair over. It looked like he was going to be there for a while, so he might as well be comfortable.
* * * *
Dr. Riley looked up at the knock on his door and called, “Come in.”
Gregory Henderson stepped inside, his large frame taking up the doorway before moving through it. The crew cut gave the man a military air, as did his very straight posture and intimidating expression.
Ignoring the minor sense of discomfort that dealing with the mercenary always brought, Riley prompted, “How did the operation go?”
“Very smoothly,”
“And the apartment?”
“Being bugged as we speak, Sir. The live feed from that will be operational within the hour. The security system was a joke, given our technical capabilities.”
Riley allowed himself a small smirk. The cops thought they had everything figured out, but didn’t have a clue just how deep the resources of the company went. It would do just as well for them to observe from a distance as in a controlled setting. This way, at least, Messer’s pregnancy would develop normally without any of the distress that being separated from
Nodding in satisfaction, Riley said, “Good. Call me with any problems, but otherwise, just observe them as discussed.”
“Yes, Sir,”
Riley brought up his email and saw the link to the live feed had arrived while they were talking. Clicking it brought him to a private, secured website where a video immediately loaded. In it, he saw Messer reading a magazine while sitting beside
Pleased with the progress of the operation, Riley minimized the screen and went back to work. There were a lot of other operations in play, after all, and they all required his attention. Messer and Taylor might be top priority, but they weren’t the only priority.
It was two days before Mac was allowed to leave the hospital, but it felt like forever to Danny. He didn’t leave the hospital room except to go to the cafeteria for food and, thankfully, the doctors didn’t ask him to go. He figured that Stella had something to do with that, but didn’t want to question his good luck.
Mac took it all with good grace, staying in bed and letting his body heal from both the head injury. He didn’t seem to begrudge Danny’s hovering, either, which seemed a little uncharacteristic, but again, Danny wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. His own body seemed to be cooperating more than it had been, thankfully, so he could concentrate on Mac’s recovery.
When it came time to leave, Mac sat in the wheelchair with a small grin and said, "Home, James."
Danny snickered and moved into position behind the chair, pushing out of the room and towards the elevator. “On it, Bossman.”
Stella waited at the curb for them with the engine running. Danny was relieved to see that Mac’s balance had returned when he stood up without hesitation and waited for Danny to put the wheelchair back inside. Mac actually insisted on helping Danny into the back seat, which was the last bit of reassurance that he needed. If Mac could badger, then he was back to normal.
Smiling broadly, Stella said, “It’s good to see you looking yourself, Mac!”
“Thanks, Stella,” Mac replied, his voice warm. “It feels good, too. The ringing in my head finally stopped yesterday.”
She teased, “Well that’s always a good sign.”
They stopped at the apartment where Mac walked him up and then changed into work clothes. It was still early enough in the day, not quite nine, that he could get a full day’s work in. Danny watched him dress with mixed feelings. He’d been prepared the other day to be alone again, stuck in the apartment without company, but the attack had shaken him pretty badly. He wasn’t scared, exactly, but he didn’t feel…right.
Mac paused after tightening his tie into place and faced him with a small smile. He cupped Danny’s face and promised, “I’m going to be fine and you’re going to be fine. It’s going to be a nice, boring day for both of us.”
“Now you’ve gone and jinxed us,” Danny quipped.
Mac kissed him, soft and slow, and then told him firmly, “Settle down, Danny. Now.”
Danny took a deep breath and slowly let it out, closing his eyes.
“Good. That’s good,” Mac praised, kissing his forehead. “Now I want you to stretch out on the sofa and just relax for a couple of hours, okay? I’ll call you at lunch.”
Opening his eyes, he found a concerned expression on Mac’s face and managed a smile of his own as he said, “Okay. Sounds good.”
They walked into the living room together where they shared another kiss and then Mac was gone, leaving him in the empty apartment. Sighing, Danny did lie down on the sofa and turned on the television. He found a movie he’d already seen a couple times and pulled the blanket over him, hand rubbing soothingly over his rounded belly. It wasn’t long before he fell asleep.
* * * *
Work did, indeed, prove to be uneventful. Mac was stuck behind his desk plowing through the paperwork and emails that came with his level of responsibilities. He had a brief meeting with Flack on the progress of the shooting, but there weren’t any leads. There were four dead and eight injured, including himself, and no motivation that could be found. Or, more accurately, too many motivations since all involved were in law enforcement.
By lunch, he was more than ready for a break and picked up the phone to call Danny. He had a distinct sense of déjà vu and realized that this was exactly how the morning had gone when he’d gotten shot on the sidewalk. Shaking off the creepy-crawly feeling, Mac dialed the apartment phone, waiting only three rings before Danny picked up.
“Y’ello?” Danny answered, sounding sleepy.
Mac smiled, picturing him curled up on the sofa and rubbing his eyes, and answered, “Afternoon, you.”
Danny yawned loudly and replied, “Hey, Mac. Lunchtime already?”
Mac confirmed, “It is and I’m working on my seventeen hundred and three emails.
“Ouch. Heh. Better you than me, Mac.”
“Your sympathy overwhelms me.”
Danny chuckled at his dry tone and said, “Hey, that’s why you get paid the big bucks.”
Mac echoed the laughter with his own. “True. How’re you feeling?”
“Good, actually.”
“I’m glad. All right, then, I’m going to get back to work.”
Danny ordered, “Make sure you eat something.”
Mac smiled and agreed, “I will. I need to get up and walk around anyhow, see how everyone’s doing.”
“Bye.”
“Bye, Danny.”
Hanging up, he sighed and looked at his computer before shaking his head and standing up. It was definitely time to get back in the lab and see what was going on.
* * * *
It was a surprise, but a good one, when Don stopped by around four that afternoon. Danny opened the door with a grin and exclaimed, “Hey! What’re you doing here?”
“Thought you’d be going a little stir crazy already so I brought presents,” Don replied, holding up a bag. “Move aside, move aside.”
Snorting, Danny stepped out of the way, then shut and locked the door before trailing Don into the living room. He snared the plastic bag from the other man and sat on the sofa, rooting inside it. He brought out a handful of magazines first and grinned. “Gee thanks. Nothing I couldn’t have gotten online, but it’s the thought that counts.”
“Ungrateful, I tell ya,” Don razzed.
Danny snickered and reached in again, pulling up three new video games, one baseball, one car racing, and the last a ‘shoot ‘em up’ type. Grinning, he said, “Now that, is what I’m talkin’ about. Thanks, man!”
Don looked suspiciously innocent as he said, “There’s something else in there for you.”
Frowning curiously, Danny peered into it and spotted a long, shiny something at the bottom. He took out two knitting needles and gave Don a blank look.
Don’s lips twitched as he said, “Well, I figured all expecting mothers knit little booties for the baby, so…”
Danny grabbed a pillow and whipped it at the other man, who burst out laughing. “You suck, Flack.”
Still laughing, Don said, “The yarn and books arrive tomorrow by UPS. Don’t shoot the messenger or anything when he gets here.”
Danny threw another pillow at him.
* * * *
It was close to eleven before Mac unlocked the door to the apartment. His eyes and head were killing him from all the paperwork. Plus he’d had a too-damn-long meeting with the Chief that afternoon about performance evaluations which were due in two weeks and he hadn’t even started them. There wouldn’t be any extension for his department. Mac had to get them in or get an official reprimand.
Nothing like being on the Chief’s shitlist, he thought for about the tenth time that day.
As soon as he stepped into the apartment, he was struck by a strong, delicious pasta sauce aroma. It instantly started his stomach growling and he groaned in anticipation. He locked the door behind him and thought, Danny must’ve gotten bored and done some real cooking.
As if summoned by his thoughts, Danny walked out of the kitchen with a plate piled high with pasta in a red sauce. There was a thick wedge of garlic bread on there, too, and his other hand held a glass of wine. Smiling, Danny ordered, “Take off your coat and sit, Mac.”
Mac didn’t argue. He tossed his coat at the sofa and then sat at the kitchen table, where Danny put down the plate and wine.
“Stella said you had a hell of a meeting with the Chief,” Danny said, kissing the top of his head. “You eat, relax, and tell the Missus all about it.”
Mac laughed at that, glad that somewhere along the line, Danny’s natural sense of humor had restored itself. He leaned over to kiss Danny before picking up his fork to dig in. “Talking will have to wait. I’m starving.”
Danny waved at him and said, “Go for it. I’ll fix myself another plate.”
Mac grinned, but wisely didn’t comment. Instead, he tucked into the food and moaned in pleasure at the explosion of flavor across his tongue.
Danny returned with a smaller plate and sat next to him, saying, “I got bored, so I turned on the cooking station.”
“Thank God,” Mac mumbled through his food.
Chuckling, Danny dug into his own pasta. They shared a companionable silence as forks clicked against plates and the food disappeared. Mac got up towards the end to grab a couple more slices of the garlic bread, tossing one to Danny.
At that point, he said, “Performance evals are due in two weeks and I don’t get an extension.”
“Ouch. Man, you don’t make that much,” Danny sympathized. “You going to make it?”
Mac shrugged. “I don’t have a choice. It’s that or I get a reprimand.”
Scowling, Danny exclaimed, “That ain’t right! You been in the hospital, plus you were on leave before that!”
Petting Danny’s hand, Mac said, “It’s okay, honest. I can handle it. I’ll just have to spend some extra time at work.”
He said the last part apologetically, since it meant that Danny would be alone even more.
Danny just sighed and nodded. “Yeah, sure, of course. It’s cool, Mac.”
“It’s not, but thank you,” Mac replied, squeezing his hand. “So. How was your day?”
Grinning suddenly, Danny told him, “Flack stopped by with presents.”
Mac’s eyebrow lifted in surprise. “Oh?”
"Yeah! I got a few video games, some magazines, an dknitting needles. Totally a gag gift, but I'm going to learn to knit just to thumb my nose at him," Danny said, snickering.
Mac laughed at that and said fondly, “You’re something else, Danny.”
Danny smirked and replied, “Ain’t I just?”
They cleared the dishes and then watched some of the news. Danny’s head rested on his lap and Mac stroked his fingers through the thick, dirty-blond hair. More brown than blond these days, really, but that was okay. Mac had notice more than a few gray hairs on his own head. The world didn’t stop turning just because big things happened.
It was midnight before Mac roused Danny and herded him to bed. He was exhausted, but at least being home had calmed the headache, and a good night’s sleep would take care of his dry, gritty eyes. He only took a few minutes to get changed, brush his teeth and take care of business, but Danny was out cold by the end of his routine.
Smiling, Mac turned off the lights and curled up behind the other man. He rested a hand on the curve of Danny’s stomach and let out a long, deep sigh. For now at least, his family was safe and happy. With that thought in mind, Mac let himself fall asleep.
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