Title: Awake
Author: Daniela
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Pairing: Greg/Grissom
Rating: PG13
Category: Angst, Romance
Series/Sequel: Breaking the Ice
Disclaimers: CSI and its characters belong to Anthony Zuiker and CBS broadcasting company. The author makes no profit and no infringement is intended.
Summary: Greg, back from the hospital, has some problems.
Warnings: Pre-slash, Spoilers from "Inside The Box"
Feedback: Yes, please. I will appreciate all constructive criticism.
Email: daniforblue@yahoo.de
Released: July 2003

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"Greg, your hands are shaking."

"No, they are not."

Defiance? Denial?

Greg was looking at him. His big brown eyes were full of fear. He looked like a deer, caught in the headlights of a car. Scared. Scared of him? Scared of being punished?

Grissom ordered: "Put your hands up." He was right.

Greg´s hands were shaking. "They´ve been shaking ever since...." Greg glanced over to the destroyed section of the lab.

Grissom´s eyes followed his look.

Greg smiled helpless. "I can´t make it stop."

"Does it affect your work?"

"If I were a bomb expert, maybe." Greg grinned, but you could still see the fear in his eyes. "No, I think I have it under control."

Grissom felt the urge to hug him. Take him into his arms and kiss his sorrows away. Comfort him.

Shit. It isn´t professional to lure after a subordinate, he told himself, a subordinate who is what, twenty years younger. Pull yourself together, he ordered himself and showed Greg a weak smile. "It will stop. If you need me I´ll be around."

Another boyish look. "Okay."

Grissom walked away, before he was tempted to say something else. More stupid emotional stuff, more exposing. He just hated it to see Greg like this. So sad and scared. He was supposed to be happy and laughing all the time. He needed Greg to be the opposite of him. It made him happier and more relaxed. Liar. You want him to be far more than that. But you forbid yourself to go for it, to take a change, to take him. Greg wouldn´t mind. He wants you. You have eyes. While you visited him at the hospital you realized Greg has a crush on you. You have enough experience to read the signs. Now what?

After a lot of useless brooding, he went looking for Catherine. On his way, he saw Hodges who was talking to some labtechs.

"Did you see, how his hands were shaking? How can he work accurately? However, he is still Grissom´s favorite lab pet. Always number one to give him results. The first of us out in the field. Why? He isn´t better than us, is he?"

The other men and women didn´t answer, because they had already seen their boss.

Hodges didn´t, because his back was turned to Grissom.

"Well, if you want to be number one, stop giving speeches about me behind my back."

Hodges whirled around, but he didn´t look ashamed, he smiled almost satisfied.

"Where is Sanders?" Grissom asked icily, giving Hodges no more credit.

Bobby spoke up: "He ran out, because Hodges bothered him about his hands shaking. He said Greg would never go out in the field again in his life."

Grissom glared at Hodges. "So, you obviously know more than the doctor and me. There is no final decision made in this matter." He addressed the rest of the group: "Back to work, all of you."

Hodges stayed, looking full of expectation. He almost seemed happy at the thought of getting a reprimand from him.

But Grissom didn´t give him the satisfaction. "You too, Hodges!"

Hodges left and Grissom went outside to look for Greg. At first he thought Greg was nowhere near the building, but then he saw him standing behind a pillar. Grissom joined him and Greg wrapped his arms around himself. Maybe he wanted to keep his hands from shaking.

"Hi Grissom. You don´t have to say anything about not having enough work to do or so. I´m back inside in a minute. I just need some air."

"I wasn´t going to. Why do you listen to Hodges? I always believed you never listen to anyone. Ever. Not even to me."

It should be a little joke, but Greg wasn´t in the funny mood.

"That´s not true! I always listen to you. I would never doubt your word. Not on purpose." After this impulsive outburst, Greg pressed his lips together.

Great! Another stupid exposing confession. Go on like that and soon the whole lab will know you have a crush on your boss.

Grissom stayed calm and hid how flattered he felt. "I only wanted to say, don´t listen to Hodges. He just envies you for being in the field."

"Sure. With this condition, I´ll never be in the field again."

"I told you, it will stop and I´ll be here for you, if you need my help."

"Thanks. I never believed, I would ever hear something like this from you."

"What´s that suppose to mean? I know I´m not good with people, but I have some manners."

"Yes, of course. But you have never been so nice to me. It makes me...."

"What?"

A very shy look. "Nothing." Greg lowered his eyes and studied the ground.

Grissom breathed in deeply. Easy now. Easy. You have to be the grown-up.

His other side - the not so mature side - was craving to kiss Greg. But no, no way he was giving into his feelings. But he couldn´t resist the urge to stroke gently over Greg´s hair.

Taken by surprise, Greg´s head jerked up.

Grissom cleared his throat. "It´s better we go back inside."

"Yes. Much better," Greg whispered.

In the lab Grissom repeated once more, "It will stop, believe me," then they separated.

Alone, Greg sighed unhappily. Really? Will it stop? The shaking of my hands, maybe, but what´s with the longing for Grissom? The wanting him to stroke more than my hair, to kiss me, to make love to me? Jeez. I´m really sick. Lovesick.