Title: Look Away
By: 0creativity
PAIRING: Nick/Greg
Genres: angst, romance
Rating: PG13
Warnings: none
Summary: Written for the ngchallenge in response to the Voyeurism prompt. Nick can't take his eyes off of Greg. Contains some spoilers up to and including Grave Danger.

Crazy hair and wild shirts. Good coffee and an amazing smile. Beautiful eyes and a personality that has a little bit of everything. Loud music and a could've-been-a-rock-star attitude.

It's your first day and I go home and think about you; your second and I go home and dream about you. On the third day, you smile at me and touch my arm, and I go home and fantasize about you. On the fourth day, I hear you reading back results in my sleep. On the fifth, I make sure to stand extra close to you, hoping that when I go home, I'll still be able to smell you. On the sixth day, I back off because I know I'm coming across as creepy, but on the seventh day, I cave and start hanging around again and you almost seem relieved that I can't seem to take my eyes off of you.

~

You lean in a little closer than necessary, but I don't mind. You're talking, but I don't really know what you're saying because all I can think about is if there's really a chance you might feel the same way I do. You hand me the results I don't remember asking for before turning around so you can look at something underneath the microscope. I linger for a minute or two longer than I probably should, but I can't help it. As the door swings shut behind me, I'm still looking and you catch me, and of course I blush, which just makes you grin. I keep walking down the hallway, but I can't take my eyes off of you.

~

The sun has been down for hours, but we're just waking up. I can't take my eyes off of you even though I can't really see you in the dark. I have every curve and dip and freckle and mole memorized anyway, so my mind just fills in the blanks. When I look at you, though, I see so much more than that. I see happiness and determination and love and trust, and a future; a future above all else. You take my hand in yours and I feel reassurance. You tell me you love me and I hear a promise. I kiss the hand that's holding mine and I taste bliss. You tilt my chin up so I can look into your eyes, and I see Heaven.

~

You're sleeping, but I know it's far from peaceful. I watch as the expression on your face goes from neutral, to confused, then scared, and finally you grimace in pain. Your breathing is getting heavier and your eyes fly open and then you sit straight up before you realize where you are or what's going on. You scream as the pain intensifies and it scares the hell out of me. I grab your hand and you squeeze it tight and it breaks my heart to see you cry like that. I talk to you, tell you that you need to calm down, that you need to take deep breaths and let me help you. What seems like an eternity later, you're laying back down, and I watch as the cycle begins again. Your eyes close in sleep. Your features go from relaxed, to confused, to scared...

I vow to never take my eyes off of you again.

~

We have to settle for brief glances and stolen time now. You've become a CSI and I've watched as the job has transformed you. You come in late, drop your stuff inside the door, then head straight to the bedroom. You no longer have that boundless energy, that innocence, that quirkiness that made you Greg. Now you're just a mindless drone and I think that I don't even know you anymore. I follow you into the bedroom and I can't take my eyes off of you because I've never seen you like this before; never seen you defeated. Even after the explosion you were positive. Now you look not only lost, but like you've also lost all hope. I take you into my arms and I try to remind you of who you are.

~

I can't take my mind off of you. I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. I'm buried alive, probably going to die, and all I can think about is you. I wonder if you'll ever find your place in the world again; if you're ever going to be you again. I wonder if you'll find someone else, and I hope that you do. I don't think I could stand to watch you live out your life depressed and alone. I don't want you to cry for me, don't want to see your beautiful face marred by tears and puffy, red eyes. What I do want, though, is to see that beautiful smile light up your face. I want to hear you laugh and feel your joy. So please don't be afraid to move on; I'll know if you don't. Because when I get up There, you better believe that I'm not going to take my eyes off of you.

~

You think I'm sleeping, but I'm not. I'm afraid to sleep, but I can't bring myself to tell you something so outlandish. So instead, I turn over so my back is facing you and I keep my eyes open as I concentrate on your breathing. It's too fast for you to be asleep, but I didn't need that to tell me that you're still awake. I can feel you looking at me, can feel the tension and anxiety and fear and relief rolling off of you in waves. I'm afraid that I'm going to scare you away, afraid that I'll be too much for you to handle, afraid that I'll end up pushing you away because I'm so fucking stubborn. You long to reach out and touch me, but you don't know if I'm ready. I want to just yell out that yes, it's okay if you touch, but even I'm not really sure and I could never forgive myself if I lied to you. So I just lay there, trying to find comfort in the fact that you can't take your eyes off of me.