Title: Calendar Boy
By: Dr FooFoo
Characters: Eric Delko, Tim Speedle
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Adult themes, Death of canon character
Summary: Delko just wants to believe...

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It's not like Delko never thought it would happen, because he did -- he knows the risks of the job, and he knows that things like this happen all the time around the world. It's just that it's different when it's someone this close; someone he cares for and holds dear and maybe even loves. And he knows he has to stop connecting cases like this, and drawing parallels, but the newest vic has the same stubble, the same furry chest, the same tall frame... Delko can't help but overhear when Calleigh comments to Ryan that their DB shares a striking resemblance to Speed.

And every time he sees the empty couch in the living room, or the empty fridge that's badly in need of restocking, or especially the empty bedroom with all the lingering memories of slick skin and coarse stubble, Delko knows remembering and brooding won't bring Speed back, and he knows it's not what Speed would want him to do. Speed would want him to be happy and grateful he's alive, and even though it's hard, Delko still finds himself marking off each day on the calendar with a little cross, just like Speed used to do.

Speed always tried to stay realistic -- about the job and life and especially about death. Whenever Delko used to come home, upset that a little Florida ten-year-old had to die before his time, Speed would say that everyone's time was exactly when it came, whether it was at ten or thirty or eighty or whenever. He used to say that, eventually, everyone would be sand by the ocean, and that everyone just had to accept that. Then he'd poke Delko or kiss him or tease him about taking the cases too personally and everything would be fine and as it was again.

But this time, the case *is* personal -- too personal -- and Delko never thought it could happen to him. Anyone else, but please god, not him. At least Horatio has the decency not to put him on the case, but that doesn't stop Delko from stopping by the ME's office and stopping dead in his tracks when he sees the body on the autopsy table, and he wants to rush downstairs and tell Alexx that she can't do the autopsy. She can't cut up that guy, and doesn't she see how beautiful he is? Doesn't she understand that he's not dead? He can't be dead, look at him!

It hits home then and reality sinks in. Delko wants to scream, but there's an annoying lump in his throat, and he wants to cry, but for some reason his eyes are completely dry. He can't do anything but stand there and shake uncontrollably, and he's lucky because Calleigh comes by then and takes his hand and leads him away from the window just as Alexx picks up a scalpel. Calleigh's eyes are tearing up, and she sits with Delko in the hallway -- two silhouettes in the Miami daylight staring forward into the horizon.