Title: A Sensible Choice
By: Rabidfan
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: R
Summary: Nick's parents give him an unexpected gift. Written for a challenge.
Prompt: Slavefic. Be Warned.Nick straightened with a groan. The cramping muscle in his back wasn't letting go this time. Every minute activity got harder and harder; each night it was more difficult to sleep. He had been told to rest, to get help with the hard work of trying to bring his run-down place back to a working ranch. Where he was going to find that help, or pay for it, was neatly left unsaid.
Now he struggled to get the sitting area of his little cabin somewhat presentable. His parents had called. They had something important to discuss with him. They would be arriving soon, and one look at the pigsty he'd been wallowing in would be enough of an excuse to pack Nick back down the mountain to the family estate. If he could just bend enough to get the dishes cleared off the coffee table… "Ah, ah shit. That hurts, Jesus that hurts." Nick was doomed. He was suffering visibly, and his parents' car had just pulled up outside.
"My God, Bill! This isn't anymore than a line shack! He can't be serious about spending the winter out here!" Oh hell, his mom was going to freak! "Now Jillian, don't start. Nick wants to make his own way. You know how independent he is. Besides, he's been out here the better part of four years with no harm done. He'll be fine. Another year of primitive living won't kill him. If he gets into any trouble, he'll call. He's sensible, you know that." Sensible wouldn't be trying to move cattle on horseback three hours after being told to put his feet up and rest. No, sensible didn't really describe him at all.
Nick had slowly made his way to the front door. He tried to straighten his aching back but he knew his mom was going to see right through him the moment she was inside. Doomed.
"Mom, Dad. I'm glad you could come up! I've missed you." Nick made an attempt to blindside them with friendliness.
"Child, what in the world is wrong with your back?" Jillian was already reaching for Nick. "Don't!" Nick barked, jerking back from her concerned touch. "Ow, oh shit, oh hell…" Nick's sudden move just made the agony all the more intense.
"Jillian, get his things together. I'll go out to the car and call for some of the men to come run things here for a week or so. Nick, sit down. We'll be taking you home with us." As a superior court judge, his father was used to taking decisive action, and being obeyed.
"I'm fine, Dad. I just need to rest my back for a few days. I've already talked to a doctor. It's really no big deal!" As usual, all choice was taken out of Nick's hands as his parents flew into action. Within ten minutes, the Stokes where all on the way back towards town. Just two hours after that, the family doctor was looking him over.
"You've got some pretty serious bruising and muscle spasms, Nick. What happened?" The doctor was older than dirt, and had a terrible bedside manner, but Nick had always loved him. Even now he still felt a fondness for the old curmudgeon. "I fell off my horse." Nick was not exactly thrilled to be admitting that, but it wasn't as though Doc wouldn't figure it out on his own. "Snake spooked him, and down I went. Hurts like the devil!"
"I can well imagine it does. Fortunately, no bones are broken, but you need rest." Seeing his young patient ready to argue with him, Doc raised an age-spotted hand. "No buts, Nick. You're lucky this isn't a lot worse. Bed rest for two days, and gentle rest for two more." Nick scowled, but lay back on the pillow. "I'll leave something for your pain, and see that you take it! I'll check back in four days." It was useless to argue. They always won. Four days away! With winter was closing in fast. There was so much to do, and no way to do it all before the snows closed off the passes, effectively trapping him and his herds in the high country.
With Doc gone, Jillian poked her head into Nick's childhood room. "Want some soup? Tilley made it fresh, just for you." The ranch's resident cook could have been a five-star chef in any Dallas hotel. The Stokes paid dearly to keep her happy and with them. Nick missed Tilley's cooking as much as he missed his folks. "Sure, mom. That'd be great. Thank her for me, won't you?" Tilley was the only free woman working on the ranch, and as such expected the social niceties the slaves wouldn't receive. Nick was okay with the polite side of society, though he was just as apt to thank the indentured servants as the freemen.
Nick didn't keep slaves. If he were willing to do so, his work problem would be solved. But just because a man could be sold into service instead of being sent to the over-taxed prison system didn't make it the moral, ethical thing to do. His was not a popular stand within his family. He alone refused to own slaves. He alone hated that the practice of keeping them was so prevalent in Texas. That stance, coupled with his openly stated preference for male sexual partners had pretty much isolated him from the majority of his family. His immediate family was more forgiving. Sometimes Nick wished they weren't.
As judge, his father sentenced dozens of people each week into misery. Non-violent criminals, prostitutes, and the like. Poor bastards that fell into debt and where unable to make their obligations could be sold like a repossessed house. Worse yet, a man could sell his wife or children-even his adult children, so long as they were single-to clear his debt. Most vile of all, young people were regularly sold for the sexual gratification of their purchasers. Nick felt that forced compliance in bed was no different than rape, and no law could make that right.
To Nick, it was an evil system, and he wanted nothing to do with it. It was the main reason he'd bought his little 'ranchetta' in the mountains. It got him out of a household almost entirely run by people who had no choice, and received no thanks or remuneration for all their hard work, and out of the shadow of one of the systems biggest advocates.
The second day of bed rest was even more difficult to bear then the first. Nick tried to find a position that didn't press painfully on some section of skin or another without success. He was ready to make a try for the easy chair in the corner when his father knocked on the doorjamb.
"Busy?" Bill Stokes smiled at his own sly joke, stepping into the room. "I need to talk to you, son." Nick had been expecting this. This would be the important talk his folks had come to his place for. He thought Bill might hold off until he was out of bed, but that was not to be.
"What about?" Like he didn't know. "If you're going to try to get me to stay down here for the winter, give it up now. I've got cattle up there. I know, I know, my little herd is nothing like yours. But they are mine. Bought and paid for by me, and I aim to keep them alive!"
"Woe, woe there. I know how much your place means to you." Judge Stokes held placating hands up between them. "I imagine your mother would prefer you to stay, but I know you can't." Nick relaxed into his pillow with a grunt. Damn, it hurt! "You won't like what I have to say any better, though." That almost pulled Nick back up to a sitting position.
"I'm not buying slaves! We've been over that ground before!" Nick would not be swayed. He would not own a human soul! "Don't think this injury will change my opinions on that!"
His father's sigh was enough to quiet Nick. He waited with as much patience as he could muster for Bill to begin. "You know your mother and I love you." A nod from Nick was encouragement for Bill to continue. "And we have adjusted ourselves to the fact that you won't be marrying any of the girls she's been throwing at you for the last few years." Another nod, accompanied by a small smile. "But we worry. You're alone in those mountains all winter. I know you've got the short-wave and your cell, but we worry." Here the normally rock-sure man seemed at a loss for words, "And then there's the whole life-style thing." Nick quirked an eyebrow at his flustered father, "Life-style?"
"Well, you know. God, this was easier when it was just the 'birds and the bees' talk!" The judge huffed out a breath and started again. "Your choice of life-style can be dangerous. There are diseases no one ever heard of out there, and the gay community is at risk. You're at risk. Frankly son, we're scared." Nick could understand their concern, but the turn of this conversation was beginning to make him very wary.
"Okay, I get that. What's this all about?" The unhappy look on his father's face was escalating Nick's unease. "Dad? Spill."
"Your mother and I…we…that is…ah, hell!" Bill drew in a big breath, "We bought you a sex slave." The air fairly whooshed out of his lungs with that admission. "It seemed sensible. He's clean, and exclusively yours. It's the most sensible choice. It will solve a lot of problems, and ease your mother's worry." Seeing Nick's readiness to fight, he rushed on. "Before you refuse, you should know we've already had him marked. He'll be delivered to you when you go back home."
Marking was just one more of the things Nick hated about the Indentured Servant Law. Men branded their cattle, not their fellow human beings. It just shouldn't be done, and yet his father was telling him that not only had his parents bought and branded a young man, but they had done it for him! There didn't seem to be enough air in the room.
"You can't be serious! You know how I feel about that stuff! You know! You can't have done that! My God, please tell me this is some kind of a sick joke!" Nick felt nauseous. This couldn't be happening to him!
"His name is Greg. He's just a few years younger than you." Judge Stokes rushed to explain before Nick could drag in enough air to protest more. "He's voluntarily in the system to relieve the debt of his grandfather. They're from the west coast, but the creditor is here in Dallas, so he went to our courts for dispersion." This couldn't be real; Nick must have taken too many muscle relaxants.
"You don't have to feel guilty, Nick. He's of legal age, and he signed the papers willingly. He didn't want his father or grandfather to end up in the system." Bill went in for the kill. "You at least will treat him with respect and kindness. If you send him back through, bearing another man's mark, what kind of place do you think he'd end up in?" The market for marked sex slaves was small, and less-than kind-hearted individuals usually purchased them. There was no law saying you had to treat your slaves' humanely, and many an animal had a more pleasant life than the indentured did. Bill knew there was no way Nick could live with sending someone to such a fate.
"It's for your own good, Nick. You'll see. By agreeing to be a Personal Gratification Servant, the boy was able to cancel the whole debt; no property was lost. He's doing a good thing for his family." That bit of information did nothing to soften the hardness of Nick's jaw or the flint in his dark eyes.
"I'm going to go home now. I may have to accept this Greg, 'cause I couldn't stand the alternative, but I will never use him and I'll never, ever forgive you for this." Nick struggled to his feet. He'd get one of the hands to take him back home. He wouldn't spend another day under this roof, nor ever willing enter here again, he was sure.
Nick scraped together what funds he could spare to hire his neighbors two teenaged sons to bunch his cattle in a near by hollow. The natural corral had enough grass and water to sustain the herd for a few days. He's made arrangements with the boys to drive some hay out to them if he wasn't feeling able to do so himself after that. The representatives from the buyers co-op would be through this section of Texas in about four weeks. He just had to hold it together that long. He had spent the last few days resting as much as possible and ignoring the almost constant phone calls from his folks.
Today the doctor had been back, and grudgingly cleared him for some outside work. "Remember the pain you were in, son. Don't do something stupid and end up like that, or worse, again." The old man was curious about Nick's rift with his parents, but didn't want to ask. He figured he'd hear all about it soon enough. Nothing stayed secret in these parts for long. "Call me if you want a refill on the pain meds. I don't have a problem with letting you have more, I know you've been careful. For goodness sake, don't push yourself! Get somebody up here to help you!" Nick rolled his eyes. Doc figured he'd pushed about as much as he could, and stood to go. "I mean it, Nick. Call day or night if the pain increases from the level it's at now. Hear me?" Nick nodded like an obedient child and rose stiffly to see the doctor to the door.
"I'll be fine. I'm mostly just stiff." That was not quite a lie. He was stiff; he also hurt like hell when the pills wore off. Nick's attention was diverted to the rough road leading to his cabin. A vehicle was struggling over the ruts, making its way to his door. "Damn." He'd hoped that the doctor would be long gone before he took delivery of his parents 'gift'. That was not to be.
The doctors raised eyebrows when the cars occupants exited would have been comical under other circumstances. As it was, Nick fought to control his urge to try to convince the old man the whole thing was a huge misunderstanding. But, considering the person in question was standing with two bailiffs in his front lawn, that statement would seem somewhat absurd.
"So this is what the fight is about." The doctors' eyes were kind when they turned to Nick. "They've been worried about you for a long time. I wondered what they'd come up with." He turned his attention back to the trio making their way to the porch, "Didn't really expect a sex slave, excuse me, a "Personal Gratification Servant" though. Explains some things. Good looking kid." With a teasing leer and a nod of farewell, Doc started off to his own car. Nick sighed. This was going to be all over town before sundown.
"Mr. Stokes?" Bailiff number one held out a clipboard to Nick. "Initial on line twelve and sign at the bottom to show delivery has been made." So far, the young man being sold into slavery had yet to raise his eyes to see the one taking possession of him. Nick sighed again and signed, dated, initialed and anything else required for the paperwork to be finished. "Have a nice day," was Bailiff number two's only contribution to the morning. They left the way they had come, leaving Nick alone with his new companion.
"My folks told me your name is Greg. Is that right?" Still he did not lift his eyes. "Yes, sir." Soft voice, California inflection. Greg stood still, waiting to be told what Nick wanted him to do. "It's getting chilly out here. Let's go inside." Greg stepped forward to join Nick on the porch. "It's going to be alright, Greg. Honestly, you have nothing to fear from me." "Yes, sir" was the only response Nick got.
Going inside the tiny cabin, Nick was struck with how shabby it must look to Greg, how unlike what he had to be expecting. "Not much to look at, is it?" Nick tried to engage the young man some how. To get his eyes up, anyway. "No, sir." Oh well, perhaps he shouldn't expect much this soon.
"I have no intentions of forcing sexual intimacy on you. If you're concerned about that, you don't have to be." No reaction. "Look, it could work out that you're here. I hurt my back a few days back, and need some help around here for a while. I'll expect you to do some chores and help with repairs. I'll be respectful of you and your person, and I expect the same back." Nick's wandering eyes landed on his narrow bed. "I don't have a place for you to sleep right now, and I'm sorry I didn't think of that before now. For the next few weeks, until I can sell my cattle, funds are tight. After that, I'll see that you get your own bed." Greg nodded, eyes glued to the old floorboards.
"One more thing. When I speak to you, I want you to look at me." A pair of luminous brown eyes met his. "We're both adults, grown men. I don't believe in slavery, but my parents do. You're here now, and I won't have you treated worse by sending you away. I know you can't possibly believe me yet, and that's okay. I'll say it again; you have nothing to fear from me." The eyes holding his had not wavered. They were guarded, unreadable to Nick. "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."
"Nick." The eyes turned quizzical. "Call me Nick. Not sir…just Nick." Nick took one more look around the small space. "Where are the rest of your clothes?"
"I'm sorry, sir…Nick. I wasn't sent with anything other than what I'm wearing." Greg looked embarrassed, like he'd failed some fundamental test he didn't know he was taking.
"That's alright." Nick mentally calculated if there was enough extra in the bank to at least get some work boots and a heavy coat for Greg. The rest they could jury-rig from things Nick no longer wore. "We'll get a few things in town tomorrow, and I've no doubt got some things that will come close to fitting." He knew he could get some things for him from his folks, but Nick would rather go into debt then ask for one thing from them. Greg was quite a bit thinner than Nick, and a bit taller. Maybe the two would balance out and his hand-me-down jeans wouldn't be high waters. In any case they would have to do until the cattle sold.
Nick had been hoping for a good price on the herd. They had the look of prime stock, and should fetch top dollar. He'd invested all he had in hopes of a large return. Nick had originally intended to use the profits to rebuild the barns and maybe put in some needed amenities in the cabin. Now, looking at Greg's pale face, he doubted any of that would happen. A plan was beginning to formulate in Nick's head; it was rough, but if he could, he'd make it work. It was something to think about besides how attractive his new housemate was, because thinking about that was going to get him into trouble.
"It gets dark early this high up. We'd better get some fire wood in, or it'll be damn cold before dawn." Nick took a heavy fleece hoodie from the hook behind the door and handed it to Greg. "Put this on. Use it until I get you something of your own." He grabbed his own jacket and led the way outside. "You ever chop wood before?" Greg shook his head. "Well then, you're in for a treat!"Waking up with someone in his bed was disorienting for Nick. He moved to ease his cramping back, and jerked back at the warmth of the body next to him. He slowly shifted over onto his side, trying not to disturb Greg. Greg had worked hard yesterday; the kind of work Nick was sure he'd never done in his life. There had been the wood chopping, with some amusing moments until the axe became more familiar to him, and learning to lay a fire. The stalls had to be mucked out and the horses brushed and fed. One chore after the other, all afternoon and into the night.
After a hasty meal and turns in Nick's tiny shower, they faced the awkward moment of getting into bed together. Nick had tried to be pragmatic about it. The little settee wasn't nearly long enough for anyone to get any rest on. The floor was drafty and cold. That left the bed. When Nick had pointed out those facts to Greg his eyes had dropped to the floor again. He'd looked Nick square in the eyes all day, asked questions about the ranch and had seemed interested in the answers. With one look at the sleeping arrangements, he'd been reminded of his status with Nick, and all the lightness of the day vanished.
"It's a little colder by the wall, so if you want you can have the outside." Nick thought that giving him even that small choice might make him feel more in control. Greg's eyes stayed down.
"What ever you prefer." He looked so young in the dim light. It made Nick's heart clench. "Look at me, Greg." Eyes down. "Greg." Finally Greg looked up. He was frightened and unable to disguise it. "You have nothing to fear from me. I mean that now, and I'll still mean that during the night." Greg nodded and swallowed hard. "Yes, Nick."
Once they'd actually turned down the lamps and gotten into bed it took a long while for the stiff fear to fade enough to allow Greg to sleep. Once asleep though, he slept like the dead.
The trip into town the next day was nerve wracking for the both of them. Greg had no idea what to expect, and assumed the absolute worse. Nick dreaded the comments about him now owning a slave, something he'd sworn never to do. Of course, with Doc knowing about Greg for nearly two days now, it was likely everyone in town was fully aware of their newest resident. He decided to face them head-on and steered Greg into gossip central, the café.
"Heh, Nick." It was Otis, the owner of the towns' one gas station. "Real pretty. Since you're so anti good times, send him to me! He can keep my bunk warm this winter!" Otis made an obscene gesture to indicate the method that 'warming' would take. Greg shivered and tucked a little bit into Nick. Laughter around the room and more ribald suggestions followed. Here goes, thought Nick.
"Okay. Listen up!" The room abruptly fell silent. "No doubt by now you've heard all about my folks gifting me with a slave." Nick avoided indicating the level of Greg's indenture. They all knew of course, but he wouldn't add to Greg's humiliation by saying it aloud. He gave a pointed look at Doc, sitting at the counter. Doc just smiled cheekily at him, not even bothering to look sorry.
"I don't believe in slavery, you all know that. Be that as it may. The fact is this is Greg. He's here now, and he's here to stay." He looked each and every person in the dining room in the eye, daring them to make another comment.
"We're a small town. Those of us that spend winters here have always needed to depend on each other. Trouble starts up here, we're all effected by it." Some of the men in the room were looking sheepishly at each other. "I'd hate for anything to cause trouble, I know you all feel the same way." Again, Nick met their eyes.
"As I said, this is Greg. In a good world, he'd be finishing his senior year in college about now. In a good world, he'd be welcomed into a new community without someone making disgusting suggestions to him." Here Otis had the grace to look ashamed. "You've got a boy in college, don't you Otis?" Otis squirmed. Nick turned to another commenter. "You have two girls up at the university, right Silus? How would you feel if someone there made those kind of suggestions to them?"
"Now Nick, you know we were just having a little fun. None of us would hurt your boy, you know that." Silus was a little upset to have his daughters lumped in with a slave. They weren't the same at all! Nick could see the resistance in his stance.
"I do know that. I do." Nick nodded at the man. This was the one he'd need to win over if Greg was to have any freedom this winter at all. "The thing is, Greg here doesn't know you like I do. Here just five months ago, he's a college student. Now, he's in a room full of red-necks making him feel lost and scared." Now even Silus was feeling a little ashamed. Good.
"No one should have to feel that way. Not your boy, Otis. Not your girls, Silus. And not Greg." The majority of those in the room nodded. "So. Maggie?" Nick directed the question to the waitress, "What's the special today?" He guided Greg to a table near the rear of the café, indicating by action that the subject was closed. The noise level went back to normal as conversations resumed all around them.
Greg had been silent all the rest of the morning. He picked at his breakfast, never lifting his eyes from his plate no matter how Nick tried to engage him in conversation. A trip to the mercantile to get boots and a winter coat had also been silent. Now on the way back to the ranch, Nick was growing weary of trying to jolly Greg into speech.
"Talk to me, Greg." Nothing. "Are you angry with me? If this is about the announcement in the café, I didn't do that to embarrass you. If they get it out of their systems now, you'll have some freedom of movement this winter. That's all I was trying to accomplish."
"You didn't want me." It was a statement, not a question. It was Nick's turn to be silent; he truly didn't know what to say.
"I don't believe in buying and selling humans. It goes against every thing that I am." Nick pulled his truck over to the side of the road. It wouldn't do to be distracted on the winding road up the mountain. "If I had met you some other way, I'd be very interested. You're beautiful, smart, and when you're not all tense, insanely funny. But I didn't meet you somewhere else, and even though I'm attracted to you, I'm not going to act on that attraction. You're not in a position to say no, so I'll say no for both of us."
"But your parents…I mean…" Greg sighed. "They said you'd be happy, that you were lonely, and that we'd be a good match." He looked sad. "But all the time, you hated the idea, and I'm just in your way."
"You're not in the way. You've been a huge help to me. I couldn't have taken care of things on my own, not with my back still bothering me. Trust me, G. You're not in the way." The use of the new nickname encouraged a small smile from Greg.
"What happens when your back heals? What use am I going to be then?" Greg seemed to need clarity on this, and he needed it now, so Nick attempted to give it. "I meant what I said. If I'd met you any other way, I'd be asking you out. As to what happens when my back is healed up, my folks were right about the lonely part. I'm glad for the company. I don't want you to worry about the future, Greg. We'll work it out between the two of us." That seemed enough of an answer for the time being, so Nick pulled back out on the road.
"We'll be home in a few minutes. We should try to call your folks. They must be worried sick." Nick nearly veered off the road when Greg threw his arms around his neck. "Easy, easy." Nick thanked the stars that there was no traffic on the road. He clumsily patted Greg with one hand while trying to keep the big vehicle on the blacktop. "It's okay, everything is okay." Another pat. "Sit back, Greg. Buckle your seat belt. It's just going to be a couple more minutes."
Greg sat back to comply with Nick's wishes. The teary smile on his face would feed Nick's fantasies for years to come.Nick made himself busy in the barn while Greg spoke to his family. He'd told him to spend as much time with them as he wanted; to take the opportunity to catch up. He'd made sure Greg had the number to give them, and instructions that they could call anytime. It was like Nick had given him all he had ever wished for, all he had ever wanted laid at his feet.
He wasn't really sure how long he'd been working when he realized that Greg had joined him. "Done already? You didn't have to cut it short, you must have had a lot to talk about." Nick wasn't trying to pry, just establish this little freedom for Greg. Greg laughed. It was the first time Nick had heard him laugh. It sounded fine, truly fine. Nick knew he'd be casting about for ways to hear that laugh again.
"I was on the phone for over an hour, Nick. My ear is permanently damaged." The smile on Greg's face shown like the sun, like he was lit from within. Beautiful. "Thank you. I can't tell you how much that meant to me…to them." Greg's eyes teared. "They wanted me to thank you for the number. They weren't…" Greg had to pause to clear his throat. "They weren't really expecting to ever hear from me again." Nick reached over to gently brush the first trailing tear away.
"It's okay, Greg. I know I keep saying this, but it's going to be okay." Nick didn't want to tell Greg of his progressing plan for his future. If anything fell through, the disappointment would be cruel. Better, he thought, to wait. To be sure. Greg gave him a watery smile at the reassurance and turned to begin his chores.
The weeks that followed were a new kind of hell for Nick. He meant every word he'd said about the immorality of having sex with someone who couldn't refuse to cooperate. He believed that with every fiber of his being. It didn't help at all that Greg was becoming so relaxed around him, to the point of initiating little physical intimacies. A quick hug, a gentle touch, a brush of his hand. It was as sweet as it was painful. It made Nick's chest ache. It didn't stop his traitorous body from wanting that intimacy. It didn't stop his breath from catching when he caught glimpses of Greg's lithe form as he bathed or dressed. It didn't stop him from getting hard when Greg curled into him in the night. Moral superiority sucked.
It sucked now, as Greg was moving against him while he dreamed. Nick sighed. He'd never get to sleep this way. He eased out of the bed, careful not to wake Greg. Maybe he could just jerk off in the bathroom. If he was quiet, maybe Greg would never know. It would all be settled soon. The buyers were due in two days. If the price was good, it would be settled. Nick made his way into the bathroom.
Nick was pleased that Greg seemed undisturbed when he eased himself back in beside him a little while later. He let out the breath he'd been holding and snuggled in a little closer to Greg's warmth.
"I could hear you, you know." Nick jumped, drawing a chuckle from Greg. "I could have taken care of that for you. I would have been happy to. He leaned over and gently kissed Nick. It was the first kiss between them, and it relit the fire Nick thought he'd put out in the bathroom.
Nick struggled to separate himself from Greg. "No." He pushed back to gain a little distance. "No. We're not going there. No." Nick had backed completely out of the bed and was heading for the security of the small sitting area.
"But why? You want it; that much is obvious. It's okay. It'd be good. Really Nick, it's okay!" Great. By trying to preserve Greg's dignity he'd managed to hurt his feelings.
"Look Greg, we've covered this ground before. I won't use you for my own gratification. You don't have the option of telling me no. No choice means no sex for me. So let's just try to forget this and get some sleep. We have a lot to do tomorrow."
"So you can give me chores and order me around but you won't sleep with me?" Greg sounded incredulous. "That's kind of hypocritical, isn't it?" As soon as the words left his mouth, Greg gasped. Someone in his position didn't talk back. They surely didn't call their owner a hypocrite without expecting a beating or worse.
"Yeah." Nick just nodded. "Yeah, I'm a hypocrite. I figure you've got a sort of room and board here, so no harm if you work for it. I can live with that. It is a little hypocritical, you're right. But I'm not a rapist. Not going to be either. So just drop this, and let's try to get some sleep." He didn't mean to snap at Greg. He was frustrated and exhausted, and yeah, horny as hell. His plan had better work. He wouldn't survive too much more of this.
"It's nice that you're all noble and self-sacrificing. Really, I'm impressed." Greg couldn't seem to control his tongue tonight. He was sure he was going to get it this time. "But while you do without, so do I? I can't say no to you, okay. I get that. But I can't say yes to anybody else either. I belong to you. Are we going to be celibate forever?" Nick thought Greg looked really good with that angry flush blooming across his cheeks. He felt the urge to touch, to smooth away that anger with kisses.
"You that desperate after just a month?" He'd try for distraction. Maybe it would work for at least one of them. "Not much stamina for a young guy."
"Funny. I could show you just how much stamina I have, if you'd just let me." Greg was not to be put off. "My pay-off must be astronomical. There is no way anybody in my family is ever going to be able to put that kind of cash together. I'm here, Nick. Just like you said in town, I'm here for good." He rose from the bed, pulling his tee shirt off as he approached Nick. "I'm right here. Let me do this for you, and you can do it for me. No pressure, no force. No force at all." He wrapped his arms around Nick's waist and leaned in to kiss him again.
Nick shoved him back with a little more force then he'd intended. Greg sat back down on the bed with a grunt. "I said no. I mean no." Now Greg was looking angry again. "I told those clowns in town that so they'd leave you alone, let you have a little freedom of movement. I mean this, Greg. Go to sleep. Stop trying to push my buttons."
With those last, cold words, Greg's anger melted. His eyes dropped back down in the submissive posture that Nick had grown to hate over the weeks they had shared. Without another word, Greg settled back into the bed. He lay as close to the wall as he could get, turning his face away from Nick. Nick stood there, feeling defeated. He'd hurt Greg, and no doubt lost ground in the budding friendship they'd discovered between them. It hurt more than he expected. He was doing this for Greg's own good, damn it! Nick wouldn't, couldn't back down. With a sigh, he lay beside Greg, and willed sleep to come.
In the morning, while Greg drove the truck out to bring hay to the cattle, Nick took the opportunity to make the calls he'd been putting off. The first one was to Greg's parents. As he'd expected, they had been beyond delighted to assist him in his plan. They'd promised to not mention anything to Greg, or lose hope if things didn't work out this time. Nick's assurances that he would keep trying to win Greg's freedom were a comfort to them, and their gratitude made him decidedly uncomfortable. Here, he owned their son, and could do God knows what to him and they were thanking him.
The second call was more difficult. He didn't technically need the cooperation of his father for what he had planned, but he did need the exact payout on Greg's contract. It wasn't in his paperwork, and as the sitting judge, his father had access to it. Maybe he could get the information somewhere else. He'd refused to answer the phone each time they'd called. It just seemed like more hypocrisy to go to them for help now. The bailiff's office! They would have that information, and Nick was legally entitled to it. If he considered selling, it would be the base price for the transaction. That's the number he needed.
Greg headed back towards the cabin. Cattle fed, check. Stalls mucked out, check. Fence repaired, check. Firewood stacked, check. Every inch of him hurt, even his hair. If he was working for room and board, he wanted a bigger room. He could see Nick through the open door, talking on the phone again. He'd spent the better part of the day talking to somebody. Greg approached quietly. He wasn't meaning to eavesdrop; he just didn't want to disturb the conversation. At least, that's what he told himself.
"Let me repeat those numbers, just to make sure I wrote them down right," Nick said into the phone. "His payout is $145,000. Correct? Plus the court costs and the debt bond." Nick nodded at what ever he was hearing. Greg's vision grayed. His buyout? Was Nick sending him away? They'd barely spoken for the last two days, but Nick had promised he wouldn't send him away. He'd promised!
Nick looked up from the paper he'd been scribbling notes on and saw Greg swaying by the door. "Thanks for your help." He said into the mouthpiece. Hanging up, he gestured for Greg to come in. "You okay? You look a little pale. Did you do too much?" He reached to help Greg into a chair. "I'm sorry I wasn't out to help, I had a bunch of business to take care of. Just relax a minute, I'll get you a drink."
"Are you sending me away?" Greg could barely get the words past the lump in his throat. He had been terrified to come here, and now he was terrified to leave.
"No, no. Not at this time." Nick hated being the cause of the stricken look on Greg's face, but he didn't have a better answer for him until after the cattle buyers made him an offer. "Don't worry so much. Everything is okay. Those numbers weren't in my paperwork, and I'm going to need them. At the very least, I need them for my taxes. I like to have all of my files up to date. Honestly, you shouldn't worry. Everything is going to be just fine. I was just cleaning up loose ends." The explanation did little to ease the panic Greg felt, but it would have to do. In any case, it would only be another day. He'd have better answers for him one way or the other after tomorrow.The two spoke very little for the remainder of that day and well into the second. For once, Nick didn't try to bridge the silence. It would be better just to leave it. The buyers had called to let him know they would arrive by three p.m. He could wait that long.
As the time approached, Nick felt it best to give Greg a warning. "When the buyers from the cattlemen's co-op get here, I'd prefer you to stay close to me." Greg raised his eyebrows in question. "I don't know them from Adam, and it's possible that they would say or do something that would hurt you." Greg looked at him, letting him know who had hurt him the most. "Just do what I ask, okay Greg? Just stay close." Greg nodded his willingness to obey. "We'll talk all this out when they leave, okay? Just work with me 'til then."
The sale had been anticlimactic in a way. Two men, with cameras and grading stamps walked around the herds, talking in an odd sort of shorthand that Nick only vaguely understood. The result was a promissory note for far more than he had dreamed would be possible. He'd pulled it off! His investment had been paid back by more than four times! If it had been another year he would be spending those profits in his head already.
This year, well, this year was different. He'd save out enough to buy more steers to rebuild his herd, and some to live on. The rest would go to righting the wrong that had been done to Greg. It was all set up. Nick would wire the money to Greg's folks. They would petition the courts to initiate his buyout. The whole process shouldn't take very long. With some delays, and the expected snowfall, Greg could possibly spend as much as a month, maybe even the rest of the winter with Nick. Then he'd go home. Free.
Once all the paperwork had been filed with the courts, Nick sat Greg down to explain all that had been happening behind the scenes over the last months. Greg was surprising quiet when Nick spelled out the terms of his upcoming release. Nick had expected questions, joy, maybe even disbelief. Silence he hadn't anticipated.
"You understand what I'm telling you, right? It may be a couple of weeks, or maybe the rest of the winter, but you'll be a free man soon." Still, Greg just stared. "What is it, Greg? What's wrong?" Nick was getting worried. Maybe the shock had been too much for Greg to absorb.
"I have chores to do," was the only response Nick got. He watched, open-mouthed, while Greg pulled on his jacket and stomped into his work boots. "That's it? That's all you have to say? I just gave you your freedom back, and all you say is you have chores?"
"Thanks." Greg tossed over his shoulder as he went out into the dark. Nick felt an unreasonable anger building, and fought to keep it down. He got his own jacket and followed Greg into the night. They worked side-by-side for the next two hours, only speaking when it was necessary. Chores completed, they each brought in an armload of firewood to last the night through. Nick handed his off for Greg to stack, but stayed standing close. He was going to get him to talk this through, whether Greg wanted to or not. With Nick so close, when Greg stood they were practically nose-to-nose. Nick carefully pulled the young man even closer, holding him in a gentle hug.
"I'm sorry. I don't exactly know why you're upset, but clearly you are. I probably didn't handle any of this the way I should have. I'm sorry if I've hurt you. All I've wanted, since I knew you were coming, was to make sure you didn't get hurt…and I end up hurting you myself." Nick could feel Greg's stiff resistance fading; feel him lean a little into the embrace.
"You didn't hurt me." His words were like a soft sigh against Nick's neck. He willed his body not to respond. "You said you weren't sending me away." Greg's own arms were now wrapped around Nick.
Nick swallowed hard, "I'm not. I'm letting you go home to your family. You can finish school, and have a normal life." Nick let his hands slide up Greg's spine. "It's my gift to you. The best gift I could ever give. I want you to take it, and not look back." Nick forced himself to separate from Greg, to look into his eyes. "Please, Greg. Obey me this one last time. Take your freedom and enjoy your life." The telephone rang, surprising them apart.
"Hello? Yes, this is he. I see. Tomorrow? Yeah, that's great. I'll have him ready. Thanks. Yes, goodbye."
Hanging up the phone, Nick turned to Greg. "That was the bailiff's office. The sitting judge pushed through your paperwork. You are, as of an hour ago, a free man. Congratulations, Greg." Nick knew his smile was strained. He'd expected a little time to adjust to losing someone he'd grown far too fond of, but that was not to be. "Your escort will be here at ten tomorrow morning. We'd better get your stuff together, but first you should call your folks."
The rest of the evening past in a blur of activity; the call to Greg's ecstatic parents, packing his things, arranging a flight home, and the never ending list of chores around the ranch. It was well past midnight when the two finally went to bed.
"This should have been the worst experience of my life," Greg whispered in the darkness. "It would have been, with anyone else. I should be all excited about going home, but I don't want to leave you here alone." He curled closer to Nick, wrapping an arm around him. "I remember the day you told me you were lonely up here by yourself. Now you'll be alone all winter. I don't want to leave you. Why can't I stay with you 'til spring?"
"You can't stay here because you have a life waiting for you." Nick's heart ached, but he was determined that Greg would not know that. "You have a family, and your senior year in college to finish, and all that surfing you told me about." Nick turned onto his side, face to face with Greg. "In a little while this will all be a distant memory."
Even in the darkness, the outrage was plain on Greg's face. "I'll never forget you! I'll never forget what you and your family have done for me." Nick's scowl must have been just as visible to Greg. "Yes, your family. They paid the original price, which brought me to you. They knew you'd be good to me, though I'm sure they didn't mean for you to be this good," his suggestion laden voice covering both Nick's generosity and their enforced celibacy. "And you know your father was the sitting judge on my buyout. He didn't have to push it through so fast. I owe him for that." Greg sighed and snuggled even closer. "I owe you so much. I'll never be able to repay you. All I'm going to do is leave you here, alone with no one to even help with the work."
"Stop worrying about me. I'll be fine." Nick fought to keep his hands to himself. "I've been up here every winter for four years. This one won't be any different." If they got any closer, Nick knew he wouldn't be sending Greg home untouched. He forced himself to roll over, placing his back to Greg. "It's late. Mornings' coming quick enough. Let's get some sleep, and we'll talk more in the morning." Greg's slender arm snaked around Nick's waist. A soft whisper of a kiss was pressed just behind his ear. "Thank you. I won't ever forget…I swear I won't."
Nick stood watching long after the car carrying Greg out of his life disappeared from view. The morning had been difficult for the both of them. Nick had tried to keep his pain from showing and Greg tried to keep his growing excitement in check. Neither wanted to cause distress to the other, so neither was voicing how he really felt.
Now that he was alone, Nick could feel the press of tears threatening to fall. He'd let them now…there was no one here to see them. He could still feel that tender kiss in the dark. He remembered clearly how he'd struggled not to roll back around and kiss Greg in return. Kiss him senseless, and show him how very much he'd be missed. As he stood there, still staring at the empty road the first, wet snowflakes began to fall.
"Perfect." Nick snorted. "Gray, wet snow for my cold, gray heart." When had he fallen in love? He was pretty sure it was when he'd first seen the gawky young man standing in his front yard, waiting for his first order.
"It was the right thing to do." He'd be telling himself that for a while, he was sure. "You did the right thing." Maybe. Probably. It hurt like hell, though.As it turned out, the snow was light that winter. The passes stayed open and if Nick had cared to he could have spent any number of days in town. The urge to socialize never grabbed him though, and except for trips to buy groceries or essentials, Nick never left the ranch. He started answering the phone when his parents called. Mostly because he could hear the echo of Greg's "I owe them" in his head. They'd meant well. Nick was pretty sure they'd never try something like this again. They weren't exactly back where the relationship was before, but more than just the snow was thawing.
It had been hard to adjust to sleeping alone. It was odd. He'd always considered the bed too narrow even for one, now it seemed huge without the warmth of Greg sleeping next to him. Being alone ensured that he worked himself into an exhausted stupor most nights, so at least he slept.
There had been a birthday card from Greg, and several short letters letting Nick know how he was faring. There had been a thoughtful gift at Christmas, and a silly card on Valentine's. Nick cherished each one; they had more value than gold. He too had mailed notes, cards and small gifts, but he tried to keep the emotion he felt out of them. It wasn't fair to Greg to dump the weight of his unrequited love on his shoulders. He had his own life now. He should be making friends and finding lovers more suited to him than a lonely rancher in Texas. Nick hoped the day would come soon when it didn't sting to imagine Greg with another man.
On a brighter note, there was a growing backlash against the Indentured Servant Law. The rumblings of discontent were reaching the state house, and from there it was sure to spread to Washington. The changes were slow, but they were coming. More gratifying for Nick, his own family was beginning to see how immoral a system slavery was. The nation had thrust it aside once before, only to take it up again. Surely they could abolish it again. Still, none of that made the ache in Nick's heart any less.
Greg would have graduated at the end of the winter semester. He hadn't sent news of it, at least not yet. Nick wondered if Greg had finally forgotten his time with him. The melancholy he had struggled with through the long winter continued to deepen.
Now that the ground had thawed, Nick decided it was time to begin the work he'd delayed on the barns. Digging out the rotted timbers would give him a hard, physical task to keep his mind from traveling across country, and picturing a graduation he hadn't been invited to. It was foolish to feel so hurt. Nick told himself so repeatedly. It did no good. He ached with loss and loneliness.
"This is ridiculous!" He was disgusted with himself. "Get over this! Move on." There had to be a way to do that. Perhaps holing up by himself for months at a time wasn't the best way. Nick decided to go into town. He could do some shopping; maybe see a movie. Maybe over the weekend he'd go see his parents; get some of Tilley's good cooking. Sooner or later he'd have to start over. It might as well be now.
Two hours later found him sitting in the nearly deserted café in town. Just as lost, and just as lonely. Maggie eyed him with concern. "You sure you should have sent that boy off, Nicky? You don't seem too happy about it." She filled his cup and nudged the menu at him. He'd been sitting, staring at it for some time without opening it.
"It was the right thing to do." He was still telling himself that. "Slavery's evil." Maggie gave Nick a patient smile. She'd heard his rants on the evils of slavery for years. She herself wouldn't have been so quick to send away such a pretty young thing. Secretly, she was sure Nick wished he hadn't either.
"Whatever you say, Nicky. If you're not going to pick something for yourself from the menu, I'm gonna get you some biscuits and gravy. You need to eat, son. You're getting pretty thin." Maggie looked up from her motherly perusal of Nick to eye who had come into the café. She did a double take to be sure, and nodded at the new arrival with a smile. "I'll make that two orders, and another coffee." Nick grunted. He assumed the other breakfast was for Maggie, and he would just as soon not continue their conversation.
"You gonna be okay for a few minutes, Nicky? I'm gonna sneak out back for a smoke." Nick nodded, still not looking up. Coming into town had been a waste of time. He just didn't feel social since Greg left.
"Morning."
Nick sighed. It was inevitable that someone would come into the café. It was the preferred gathering spot for the whole town, and the only place for travelers to grab a bite to eat for miles. He really should have stayed home.
"This seat taken?"
Nick opened his mouth to point out that the café was empty, with lots of empty seats when the voice registered in his tired brain. It couldn't be. Could it? Cautiously, he raised his head to look at the newcomer.
"Greg?" Nick worked to swallow the lump in his throat. "What…" Clearing his throat, he tried again. "What are you doing here?" He struggled to rise out of his chair; he couldn't seem to coordinate his legs and feet. Greg watched his struggle, laughing.
"Need some help there, big guy?" Nick finally made it to his feet. He didn't know what to do with his hands. He wanted to touch, to pull Greg into his arms, to kiss him. God, how he wanted to kiss him. He thrust his hands into his pockets.
"You shouldn't be here." It physically hurt to say those words. "You should be making a nice life for yourself as far from Texas as you could get." As far from Nick as he could get. The urge to touch became overwhelming. One hand, seemingly of it's own volition, rose to gently brush against Greg's cheek.
Greg nuzzled into the touch. "I need to go to grad school." It was an obscure enough comment to momentarily ground Nick. "Okay…grad school is a good idea." He pulled back the rebellious hand. "How can I help? Do you need money?" Of course, how stupid could he be? Greg needed to borrow money, that's why he'd come. Nick felt like an idiot for giving into the temptation to touch. "I can give you some."
"No. Well, yeah, I need money, but I have a plan." He smiled at Nick. "I know this guy. He's got this really run-down place, needs lots of work. I figure I could work for this guy for a couple of years, you know? Save up some money." Here Greg looked shy, almost fearful of Nick's response. "Then, when I've got some cash saved, I could do my grad stuff at the university here. They have extension classes, and on-line stuff." His words started to tumble out, one over the other. "If that's okay. I mean, if you still want me. Do you? Want me?" He was starting to look a little panicked.
"You don't have to work, G. I'll just give you the money, I want to." He wanted so much more. He wanted things he couldn't begin to give voice to. "It's okay, really."
Greg gave a frustrated sigh. "You're not getting it." He sighed again. "I want to be here. I've missed you so much. I finished school, only 'cause you asked me to. I want to be here, Nick. I want to be with you." Greg reached out to touch Nick, running trembling fingers over his arm. "I'm not wrong here, am I? I didn't read this all wrong? You wanted me, I was sure. Please…" he trailed off. "God, I'm so stupid. You were just being nice. I'm so sorry…" he didn't get any further. Nick's fingers pressed gently over Greg's mouth.
"I've missed you so much." With those words, Greg relaxed. He stepped forward, leaning into Nick's body. Nick wrapped his arms around him, holding him close. "I wanted you to be free. I wanted you to have your own life, but when you left…" it was so hard to think with Greg's breath warming his neck. "When you left nothing mattered anymore. I only felt alive when one of your letters would come." He felt foolish admitting that, and he could feel Greg's smile.
"I still wear your mark." Nick pulled back, a little sickened at himself for the flash of lust that statement brought out in him. "You've never even seen it." But oh, how he wanted to. "It's what I want Nick. I really want to be with you, here. I'm not down with the whole slave thing, mind you." That brought a welcome smile from Nick. "I want to belong to you because I want to. I want you to want to belong to me." He peered at Nick, hoping he understood. "Does that make any sense?"
"Like partners?" Greg nodded, relieved that Nick seemed to understand. "Are you talking complete partners, G? Sex and all?" He needed to be clear.
"God, yes. We've been celibate long enough, don't you think?" Those beautiful brown eyes twinkled with suppressed mischief.
"I can't sleep with an employee, G. It wouldn't be ethical." Greg pushed him back. "You're kidding, right?" Nick shook his head. He looked serious. "It's not much different than the situation we were in before, Greg. It wouldn't be right." Greg was exasperated, but Nick put a hand up to stall his angry retort.
"Now, this partner idea. That has some merit." Greg's confused look made Nick laugh. It seemed like forever since anything seemed funny enough to make him laugh. It felt great! It was great to be alive! "We could work that out, partners I mean. Equals. No advantage taken. See?"
Greg was smiling now as well. "Yes, I see. No advantage, no pressure. But lot's of sex, right?" He really wanted there to be sex. "Please tell me there will be lot's of sex!"
Nick pulled Greg to him again, finally giving into the urge to kiss. It was like an explosion of pleasure, and Nick never wanted it to end. When they finally separated for air, Nick murmured into Greg's ear.
"Lots and lots of sex, G. All you ever want." All he would allow. As soon as humanly possible.
"About that mark…"
end
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