Coming Home

warnings: mentions of infantilism, age-play, kink, m/m sex, angst, bad language
spoilers: for King Baby and Grave Danger
author: nancy
email: the_tenth_muse1@yahoo.com
website: http://www.thetenthmuse1.madbrilliant.com/
feedback: yes, please!
archive: let me know!
summary: After the Eiger case, Nick makes some discoveries about himself and finds Grissom to be a lot more understanding than expected.

It was mocking him from the safety of his wallet in his back pocket. A simple piece of paper and it was taunting him. It had a number on it, a phone number to be exact, and he'd been carrying it around for a couple of weeks now. If he wasn't careful, it would slip out at exactly the wrong moment and Gris would find it and want to know what it was for.

Nick wasn't even sure himself what it was for, aside from the obvious. At the other end of the phone would be someone who was into that kind of thing who could, well, show him the ropes. Except, wasn't that cheating? Calling someone to talk about sex, even if it was about sex with your lover? Or was it kind of like going to a therapist, but, a really new age kind of therapist.

Groaning in confusion and frustration, Nick thumped his head against the car window as he waited for Warrick to get back with lunch. At least if Warrick were around, he could stop thinking about the damn phone number in his wallet. The door opened on that thought, thank God, and Warrick held out a fast food bag, which Nick took. Digging around in it for the fries first, he waited until the other man was seated and comfortable, sipping on his drink, to ask, "What do you think about gay couples getting counseling?"

Warrick choked on his drink and Nick winced. Probably not the best moment to ask.

Once the choking died down and Warrick could glare at him, the black man demanded, "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

"No, no man, I'm sorry," Nick apologized. He sighed, letting some of his misery show as he said, "It's a total waste of time, isn't it? I mean, it's not like we're even really married."

Warrick patted him awkwardly on the shoulder and asked, "You and Gris having problems?"

"No, see, that's just it. Everything's great. He's great. He's friggin' perfect, man, and I'm about ready to jump out of my skin," Nick complained.

Chuckling, Warrick pointed out, "I warned you about that before the two of you started getting all hot and heavy."

Uncomfortable, not wanting to bring up the other thing, he answered vaguely, "Not really, but, it's kinda personal, 'Rick."

Warrick gave him a shrew look. "Grissom's kinky, isn't he? I totally knew it. He's way too 'normal' to be normal."

Nick shook his head and denied, "No! No, that's not it. It's just, you know, regular sex. It's great sex. That's not the problem. Damn it. I'm sorry, 'Rick, I shouldn't be dumping all this on you."

Even though he looked mildly queasy, Warrick also shook his head, countering, "I'm your best friend and you know you can tell me anything. Just...go easy on the details, okay?"

Thankfully, Warrick's phone rang and it was Catherine looking for an update on the case and their 20. By the time they had time to talk about non-work related stuff again, the moment had passed and Nick let it go. There wasn't really anyone he could talk to about stuff like this, even though that paper was burning a hole in his wallet, so he turned to the next best information source; the internet.

A week later and Nick was even more confused than when all he'd had to go on was what he'd seen in that store and at the crime scene. The shit that he found online was even more twisted than what he'd found at Eiger's mansion. Not that the people who used that stuff were twisted, but Nick knew instinctively that wasn't what he was looking for. The only real problem was that he didn't know what he really was looking for.

It helped that he was working all the time and he almost never saw Grissom. Nick wasn't sure what would happen when they finally had the same time off together, because he was so confused and exhausted, mentally and emotionally, that he wasn't sure he could summon enough enthusiasm to get it up for the other man. And how fucking humiliating would that be, on top of everything else?

Sighing, Nick stopped and waited for Grissom to catch up, offering a tired smile of greeting. "Hey, Grissom. What's up?"

"I was hoping you would wait up for me tonight," Gil answered, smiling in response. "I'm going to be able to leave at a decent hour for a change. I could get something to eat and bring it home. We could...reconnect."

Home. That place that he'd been avoiding because it was so empty without Grissom in it. The hopeful look in his lover's deep blue eyes was impossible to disappoint, but he cautioned, "I am so wiped out, Gris, I doubt I'd be up for anything except sleep. Seriously. I'm not exaggerating."

Gil looked like he wanted to kiss him then and there, but didn't. Instead, he said, "Tell you what. You go home and take a nice long shower and a nap. When I get there, I'll give you a massage and put you to bed for some sweet dreams."

It sounded so good, especially put like that, that Nick instantly nodded and agreed, "That sounds perfect. See you around eleven?"

"Earlier, I hope. Drive safe, Nicky. I don't want you getting into an accident on the way home," Gil ordered softly. "Wouldn't want to ruin our plans."

Nick nodded again and bit his lip, wishing he could just curl up into Gil's arms and stay there.

Clearing his throat, pushing the neediness aside, I'm a grown man, damnit, Nick answered, "It's fine. I just...miss you. Don't be late."

He left before he could do something to further humiliate himself, like maybe pull a tantrum right there in the hall at work.

Nick woke to the wonderful sensations of his lover sitting on his lower back while Grissom's hands massaged deep into the knots that seemed to have taken up permanent residence lately. Groaning, he said, "Damn Gil, you're really good at this."

"I should be, considering my field," Gil answered, voice warm. "How did you get so knotted up? I don't remember you being this tense before, even after working a week of doubles. One of the cases get to you?"

Nick tried not to tense up further, but couldn't help it. And Gil, of course, instantly knew since his hands were digging into Nick's muscles. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"All right?" Nick questioned, half twisting around to look at him. "You never let anything go that easy."

Looking rueful, Gil pushed him back down and informed him, "Consider this me turning a new leaf. Or, trying to. Just don't forget that you can talk to me about anything, Nicky."

Two offers in one day, but Nick knew he couldn't talk to Gil about this anymore than he could Warrick. He sighed deeply, forcing himself to relax and accept the massage. It wasn't long thereafter that he felt like one big pile of mush, too comfortable to move.

Gil chuckled and said, "Don't move, I've got you, Nicky," and proceeded to manhandle Nick over onto his back.

Nick smiled up at him as Gil straddled him again and started massaging his chest. He reached down to lightly grip the heavy shaft that rested on his abdomen. "Is that a sidearm in your pocket or are you just happy to see me, Partner?"

Shaking his head in amusement, Gil ordered, "I don't want you moving, remember? Just relax and let me take care of you."

One of Gil's hands covered Nick's mouth and he said, "I'm sure. Just…lay back and think of England."

Laughter escaped Nick at the bad quote and he let go of Gil's dick, grinning at his lover.

"I don't see you smile often enough, Nicky, never mind laugh," Gil commented regretfully. "I know our job takes a big toll and I'm afraid that I don't pay you nearly as much attention as you need. No, relax, that's not a comment on you. It's all on me, Nicky. I would, unfortunately, be like that with anyone I was with, which is why I've been alone for so long. I want this to work between us, I love you so much Nicky, and I'm going to do better by you. So tonight, just let me do all the work, okay? Let me pamper you a little."

Nick swallowed heavily as that insidious desire rose with a vengeance and he nodded at Gil, who smiled back at him. Gil's hands were re-slicked with oil as they began massaging his chest, but this was a massage designed to around, instead of relax. Gil alternated his fingers and his mouth over Nick's nipples, twisting and sucking them, flicking them with fingernail and tongue, until Nick shuddered with need, hands gripping the sheet.

"You're so strong," Gil murmured, biting gently on his pec. "All this power and you let me do whatever I want to you. Do you know how that makes me feel?"

Nick moaned, assuming it to be a rhetorical question since Gil immediately followed it up with another bite, harder this time. Gil worked his way down Nick's body, hands rubbing and squeezing rougher now, but Nick didn't move. Wasn't sure if he could move, he was so turned on. He felt just about melted into the mattress, all of his muscles like putty except for his cock, which was hard and aching, standing up straight in the air.

Gil engulfed it and Nick cried out, arching into the instant suction. Gil was merciless as he took Nick all the way in, deep-throating him only to suck up to the very tip and mouth the head before going down again. He didn't last long, a few minutes maybe until one of Gil's fingers wormed its way inside his hole, causing him to erupt into his lover's mouth. Half-sobbing as he came, Nick flopped over when Gil turned him, unable to coordinate his limbs better. Not that coordination was really needed, since Gil just hunched against his ass a few strokes and spilled all over his back, collapsing on him.

Nick was still breathing hard as he struggled to get free to clean them both up, but Gil pushed him back down and ordered softly, "Let me get it this time, Nicky, just relax."

Uncertain, Nick remained where he was, earning a gentle kiss to the spine, and Gil rolled off the bed to walk over to the bathroom. He closed his eyes and just listened as Gil turned on the water, wet a facecloth, cleaned himself off, then returned to the bed. The damp cloth moved slowly over his back, wiping away the sticky come, and then down into his crack, which felt good, but embarrassing, too.

He did, and was surprised when Gil cleaned his front side, too. He lifted Nick's spent cock and wiped it and cleaned his balls, even though they weren't really dirty. Shivering a bit in arousal at the gentle way he was handled, Nick couldn't meet Gil's gaze, afraid of what he might see there, and closed his eyes, sighing deeply and imitating falling asleep.

Gil climbed back onto the bed a moment later and surprised Nick again by simply tugging the blankets down from under him. He maneuvered Nick's body as necessary, but didn't attempt to 'wake' him. Once under the covers, Nick didn't have to fake the yawn or the stretch that brought him closer to snuggle against Gil's shoulder.

Nick went where he was bid and sighed in deep contentment as he curled around his lover. Everything was perfect. His body was sated, his mind was quiet, and his heart was full and happy.

Nick was clearly going through something internal, some kind of debate, and Gil knew that if he tried to help, it would just make things worse. It didn't help that Nick had some pretty rigid views of what men should be like, and what they shouldn't. Gil wasn't sure if that came from growing up in Texas, growing up in the Stokes household, or both, but it irritated him on many occasions; usually those where Nick's mental and emotional well-being were at stake.

So he gave Nick the space he needed to work on whatever was bothering him. They'd had so many bizarre cases of late that Gil had no idea which of them had set Nick off. Nothing furred had made its way into their home, stuffed or costumed, so Gil was pretty sure that an attraction to yiffing hadn't developed. Although, a nice soft rug in the living room wasn't a bad idea for the times they didn't make it to the bedroom. Spread out on the floor instead of cramped on the sofa had its benefits if there was something soft to lie on.

Shaking his head to bring his wandering attention back to the problem at hand, he contemplated the other cases as he dismissed them. Nick wasn't trying to get him to gain weight, thankfully, so he wasn't looking for a bigger man to have sex with. Gil was positive that Nick was happy with all his equipment the way it was, so a sex change wasn't in the future; also thankfully. The only other strange one was the Eiger case, but Nick had been clearly repulsed by everything he'd encountered there, so that couldn't be it, either.

It bothered Gil that he couldn't find a way to help Nick through whatever it was that he was going through. It bothered him more that he couldn't even figure out what the problem was in the first place. Pushing his glasses back into place, Gil returned to the endless paperwork that came with his position, knowing that he would have to wait for more evidence to present itself before he could find out what was going on with his lover.

Because unfortunately, there was little-to-no chance of Nick owning up to it on his own.

Nick stared at the storefront as if doing so would make the place disappear. As if he could will the contents of oversized baby toys and accessories to vanish from the face of the earth. All he had to do was turn the engine back on and drive away. No one had seen him yet, so he could just go on back home and pretend the slip up had never happened. He'd called the number from a payphone, after all, so it wasn't like the guy could Star69 him. And verbal descriptions for when they met up didn't amount to much of anything these days.

He was still in minor shock that he'd actually called the number and found another man on the other end. Somehow, Nick had been positive that a woman would answer. That the one to explain things to newbies would be a woman, a nurturer, someone who wasn't threatening to those who were already scared out of their wits. It had been a man, though, with a comfortable, soothing voice that hadn't condescended, but somehow put Nick at ease even through the phone lines.

Before he'd thought it through, Nick had agreed to meet the man, Michael, in the Forever Baby parking lot to talk. Despite being parked a few spots back in the parking lot, he could see the man sitting on the rocker right out front of the store like he didn't have a care in the world. Blond and good-looking, Michael appeared to be in his early forties with a decent build, probably around six foot, and professionally dressed. He sure wasn't anything like Eiger. He seemed…comfortable…sitting in that rocker, like he was just waiting to hold someone on his lap, but not in any perverted kind of way.

Biting his lip nervously, Nick finally climbed out of the truck and walked slowly over to him. He stopped a few feet away and asked, "Michael?"

Michael nodded, standing, and smiled, stepping forward to hold out his hand. "It's good to meet you, Nick."

With a chuckle, Michael replied, "I can tell that's a lie, but don't worry about it. Come on, let's head to the coffee shop and talk."

Nick nodded and fell into step with him. He was startled when Michael held the door open for him, but preceded him into the diner-styled coffee shop. They sat in the back booth and waited while a tired-looking woman brought over a coffee pot and asked if they wanted anything. Her eyes rolled at the double order of coffee, but she just left the pot and walked away.

"So, Nick. You're scared out of your mind and wondering if I'm going to blackmail you because you expressed an interest in infantilism," Michael began easily.

Nick's heart stuttered. He hadn't even considered that possibility, but he should have.

Holding up a hand, Michael ordered softly, "Breathe, Nick, it's okay. Nothing bad is going to happen here. I brought you some reading material and some safe internet links that will get you started. Do you have a partner, or are you looking for one?"

Michael nodded, a regretful expression flittering across his broad features as he said, "It's scary, but if they love you, they'll deal with it. And you never know. This could be something he or she would enjoy, too. I bet they already take care of you in some ways."

Thinking back to their lovemaking two nights before, among many other instances that had nothing to do with sex, Nick flushed and agreed, "Yeah, he does."

"I thought so. Nick, you don't have to be so terrified. You're not sick and you're not hurting anyone. It's the opposite of that, as a matter of fact," Michael soothed. "There's nothing wrong with wanting to be looked after and cared for."

Frustrated, Nick said, "But that's not who I was raised to be. I mean, look, my family is filled with strong men and women. Professionals. Judges and lawyers and architects and more. I'm the only one who's not a real professional and that's hard enough to live with. I love my job and I'm proud of it, I wouldn't give it up for anything, even though they hate it. But, they kinda respect it in a way, too, because I've stuck with it, you know? I'm surrounded by all these, these, these alpha dogs and all I want to do is turn belly up. How can that be right?"

Michael gave him a thoughtful look and asked, "You're the baby of the family, right?"

"So you were spoiled rotten by a bunch of women who adored you, but your disposition is sweet enough that you didn't turn out to be an insufferable brat. Nick, look, there's a lot going on in your life and I don't even know you, but I can see that you're a good man. A strong one. There is nothing wrong with wanting someone else to be in charge of you and to take care of you. It doesn't make you any less than you are."

Michael patted his hand and said, "You were raised to think that you had to take control because you're a man. Raised that way by a family that loves you and whom you love. It feels wrong to break free of that kind of conditioning, because of how you feel about your family, but you have to accept that you want to at least explore this, or you wouldn't have called me."

Michael smiled and patted his hand again, correcting, "You don't want to want to explore this."

Chuckling, Michael stood and tossed a few dollars onto the table beside the untouched coffee. "Come on and I'll get you that information. It's in my car. You can read up and then decide if this is really something you want to explore. You may just be naturally submissive and not want anything to do with infantilism. The two aren't synonymous, though they share some of the same traits."

Nick nodded and stood as well, following him out of the coffee shop to a late-model sports car. "You know, and, don't take this the wrong way, but, you don't seem like the type to, you know, do this kind of thing."

Not offended, Michael just grinned at him and said, "There is no type, Nick, just like any other form of sexuality."

Which was exactly what Grissom would say, if Nick had made a comment like that in his hearing. Along with, 'you know that, Nicky.' and a mildly reproving look.

"If it helps your stung masculinity any, I'm the Daddy of my particular relationship," Michael continued before reaching into the car and pulling out a grocery bag. He gave it to Nick, then pulled out a business card and offered it, as well. "This is me. Call me any time you have questions, or if you have a crisis of some sort."

Taking the card, Nick read, "Dr. Michael Wells. Psychiatrist? I should've known."

Michael winked and answered, "Yes, you should have, but we'll let it slide. Good luck, Nick, and really, call me if you need anything."

It wasn't a come-on, just an honest offer of assistance, and Nick smiled wanly. "Thanks, Doc. I might take you up on that."

Nick stepped back and waved, getting one in return before Michael drove away. He sighed, and pulled out his wallet, tucking the card into it and heading to his car. It looked like he had some reading to do.

Two days later and Nick's head was filled with all the information from the two small books and the many internet sites that he'd visited. He hadn't been able to stop reading when he got home that night and had been thankful that Grissom had wound up pulling a double. He was also very careful to wipe the history, temp files, and defrag the hard drive so that it looked like a regular 'cleanup' for their home computer. There was no way that he would have Gil find out before he was good and ready; at least not from something that he'd done.

The books were geared towards couples' journeys into infantilism, but Nick would have tweaked the information to suit anyhow. Maybe it was just the term itself that caused such a knee-jerk reaction of, 'no fucking way,' or maybe he really didn't want to go all the way, he wasn't sure. All he really knew was that he wanted…more…from Grissom than he currently got. He wanted the other man to show him more affection and attention than he did, wanted Gil to take charge of things more, instead of leaving everything up to Nick.

So it was on the third day after meeting up with Michael that Nick nervously set about on his first baby steps to seeing just how much he could swing Grissom around to what he wanted, without actually letting him in on it.

Pun intended, Nick thought wryly as he stopped beside his lover and waited to be noticed.

Gil kept talking to Warrick and Sara about the case for a few minutes before really noticing Nick's presence. He smiled at Nick and greeted, "Nick, good, I was just about to hand out assignments. Catherine's out with Lindsey, who's got tonsillitis."

"Poor kid," Nick sympathized. "Bet she's going to live on ice cream for the next week."

"Oh I don't know," Warrick countered. "You just haven't seen her mean streak yet."

Nick waited until Sara and Warrick had left with their assignments before asking, "Are you working a double again?"

Pausing a moment, Nick asked, "Did you want me to pick up groceries tonight on the way home? The fridge is pretty bare."

"Nick, you haven't forgotten the baseball stats from 1968, I doubt you'll forget what we need for the house."

Exasperated, Gil finally said, "Yes, okay, I'll make you a list. Come by and get it in ten minutes, before you head out."

Nick just smiled when Gil sent him a slight frown for about the third time that night and rested his chin on Gil's shoulder. They'd left the house about an hour ago and Nick hadn't let go of him yet, either holding Gil's hand, or his jacket, or somehow managing to lean on him. They'd gone on a double date with Warrick and his latest flame, a real exotic looker, with a brain, by the name of Inna. Dinner was filled with good conversation, but Nick was just happy that he and Gil had time together and spent his time sticking to him like glue.

The movie was easier than dinner, since it was dark and they could move the chair arms up so Nick could pull Gil's arm over his shoulder and snuggle close. It was a decent movie, but the best part for Nick was when Gil started stroking his hair. If he could have purred with happiness, he would have.

They left the movie theater for a coffee shop where he promptly pushed his chair almost on top of Gil's. His lover took the hint and put and arm around Nick's waist. When the waitress came to take their order, Nick looked at Gil and said, "You decide."

Nonplussed, Gil blinked at him a few times then shrugged and said to the waitress, "One decaf and English muffin, a regular coffee and apple pie."

Nick hid a grin. Gil clearly thought that he'd had too much caffeine and/or sugar and was also waiting for a protest over the order. Throwing another curveball, Nick just smiled at him without commenting on the order before asking Inna, "So you're a med student? Do you have a specialty yet?"

By the time the night was over and they were driving home, Nick was honestly tired and closed his eyes, leaning his head on the headrest. He also kept his fingers laced with Gil's the entire ride home, holding his lover's hand on his lap. Traffic was light enough that he could get away with it, unlike the ride to meet Warrick and Inna.

"Inna seems like a good match for Warrick," Gil observed as they were getting ready for bed.

Nick nodded and jumped on the bed, grinning at Gil before he climbed under the covers. "Yep. She seems really nice, unlike most of the barracudas 'Rick goes out with."

Getting under the covers as well, Gil commented, "You were awfully...cheerful...tonight."

"It was a good night," Nick replied, hitching a leg over Gil's and pressing his face to his lover's throat to breathe him in. "You didn't mind, did you?"

"No, of course not. I'm glad you had fun, Nicky," Gil said firmly, kissing him briefly. "You just surprised me, is all."

Yawning, Gil confirmed, "It's on the kitchen counter. Groceries, dry cleaning, and don't forget to pick up that package at the post office."

The knock at the door was polite, which wasn't as surprising as the fact that it was Nick who knocked in the first place. Gil couldn't remember the last time anyone on his team had knocked before entering his office, let alone his lover. He waved Nick inside and asked, "Is something wrong?"

"No, I just wanted to check in with you," Nick answered. "I was going to grab something to eat with Warrick tonight, is that okay?"

Bemused, though he didn't show it, Gil nodded and agreed, "Sure. Are you doing anything else after?"

"Nope. Just going to head home and sleep. Don't suppose I can convince you to skip out early?"

The mischievous question and playful glint in Nick's eyes was enough to make Gil smile, but he had to shake his head. "Unfortunately not. I've got a staff meeting that I can't miss. Conrad's being exceptionally difficult regarding my overtime budget this quarter. If I don't show up, I'm sure he'll give it to someone else. And as much as I like Catherine, she can't have my overtime allocation."

"Please don't," Gil replied, smiling. "Go on and have some fun. I'll try not to wake you when I get home."

The slightly wistful tone told him just how much he'd been neglecting his lover the past couple of weeks. He remembered that promise he'd made himself to pay more attention to Nick and felt like kicking himself. He seemed to have gone in the exact opposite direction. Standing, Gil walked over to Nick and cupped his face as he said, "I'll do my best to come home after the meeting, how's that?"

Like a kid in a candy store, Nick's face lit up. "Sounds great! I'll see you then!"

Gil was startled by the spontaneous kiss to his lips, brief as it was, but Nick was gone before he could say anything. And really, it wasn't like anyone was hanging around waiting for them to start making out on company time. Frowning thoughtfully, Gil walked back to his desk.

Nick had been acting differently of late and Gil couldn't quite figure out the change. He was…lighter, for certain. More carefree, even though he paid the same attention to detail on the job that he always had. Whatever had been bothering him before, had been resolved which of course was a good thing, but Gil was confused by the changes in his lover. Nothing bad or self-destructive, thankfully. Nick wasn't manic or depressed the way he could sometimes get when there was a child involved in a case.

For some reason, Gil's thoughts lingered on that for a few minutes. He realized, in a flash of insight, that child-like was exactly how Nick had been acting. He asked permission of Gil to do things now. He was a lot more outwardly affectionate than he'd ever been, even hanging on Gil the one time they'd gone out to eat on their day off.

Gil flashed back to the Eiger case two months ago and just how verbal Nick had been in his distaste for everything that they'd come across. He remembered the way Nick had stayed close to him in the Forever Baby store. It had been close enough that the woman at the counter had thought Nick was his 'boy.' She'd probably been working there long enough to pick up on relationship roles within minutes of meeting a couple.

Thoughtful, he leaned back in his chair and wondered just how far Nick wanted to take this exploration into their relationship. There was nothing Nick could ask of him that he wouldn't do for the other man. Certainly taking care of his lover, giving him the affection and attention that helped to ease Nick's natural insecurity wouldn't be any kind of strain. An insecurity that Gil knew from personal experience ran very deep in the young man, though he hadn't yet figured out where it came from.

Which means that you have to get it together, Gil admonished himself. If you plan to be there for Nick, you have to follow through on your promises. You have to be there to give him the love and discipline that he's obviously wanting. It might even be part of his attraction to you, the fact that you're technically old enough to be his father.

Gil had certainly had kinkier partners in the past, but was well aware that Nick had not. It had probably freaked him out to realize what he wanted to try out. Wondering what had happened to calm him down, Gil picked up the phone and called Conrad to tell him that he would be leaving directly after the meeting.

This sort of change in a relationship would require concessions from both of them, and Gil wasn't afraid to take the first step.

Warrick eyed Nick suspiciously and demanded, "Did you get into Greg's secret stash or something, because you are wired, man."

"Yeah, okay." Warrick took Nick's soda glass and sniffed it, but there was no booze. Setting it back down, he guessed, "You win the lotto and not tell anyone?"

Nick laughed and insisted, "I'm just happy, 'Rick. Let me enjoy it for a change, will you?"

Holding up a hand, Warrick gave way with, "That's great, Nick, just your teeth are shining a bit bright. Change the toothpaste or something."

The waitress arrived to take their orders with a sigh, but left with a grin, Nick's good mood infecting her. Warrick shook his head and observed, "You're like Patient Zero for happiness, Nick. Seriously, what's up? You work out whatever problem you were having with Grissom?"

Nick thought over his words for a minute, then answered, "Yeah, sort of. Only, it wasn't Grissom, it was me. I guess I just had some, you know, soul searching to do. Short-term, things are great."

"Could get run down by a bus tomorrow, man, I'm not going to worry about long-term right now."

Which actually only worried Warrick more, but he couldn't deny that if anyone deserved to be happy, it was Nick. He always got the shaft, personally and professionally, so maybe he was just due. Keeping that in mind, Warrick raised his glass and intoned, "To happiness."

"In whatever form it takes," Nick finished, smiling as he clinked their glasses together.

Nick sighed in contentment, curled up in Gil's arms watching television. Gil had surprised him by getting home only a few minutes after he had. He'd been ordered into the living room to get comfortable while Gil fixed himself something to eat. Once Gil had sat down beside him, he'd surprised Nick again by tugging Nick's legs across his lap and pulling him in tight with, "I want you close." With his head on Gil's shoulder and his legs over the other man's lap, it was as close as he could get without being on top of him.

Gil's hand drifted slowly across the back of his neck in a soothing, relaxing motion as he used his free hand to eat. Nick dozed lightly as the night wore on, cradled by Gil's arm. He could hear the other man talking, but wasn't awake enough to make out the words. They were good words, though, murmured right into his ear, and he snuggled closer. He pressed his face into the hollow of Gil's throat, heaving the deep sigh that was prelude to actually falling asleep.

Some time later, he was gently woken by a shoulder-shake and Gil saying, "Time for bed, Nicky, get up now."

Mumbling a protest, Nick nonetheless shifted his legs from Gil's lap to the floor. Gil stood and then hoisted him upright, keeping an arm around Nick's waist. He held Nick close for the short walk to the bedroom.

They stopped just inside the bedroom where Gil asked, "Did you brush your teeth?"

Nick shook his head, rubbing at his eyes, and answered, "Got home right before you, remember?"

"Okay. Go on and get ready for bed, then. Don't forget to wash your face, Nicky."

There was something strange about that order, but Nick was tired enough not to really notice. He stumbled into the bathroom to do as he was told and stumbled back out a few minutes later.

Gil didn't even look at him as he pulled on the sweats he traditionally wore to bed. He just said, "I didn't hear the toilet flush. Go to the bathroom, Nicky."

Groaning, Nick turned around and went back into the bathroom to take care of business, even though he didn't really have to go. He'd just flushed the toilet when he stopped short in shock, realizing that Gil was treating him like a child, as though he couldn't decide for himself whether or not to wash his face, brush his teeth, or take a piss. His stomach clenched in a combination of fear and happiness, because he didn't know if Gil had really figured it out and was giving him what he wanted, or if Gil was just reacting naturally to Nick's change in behavior.

Nick swallowed nervously, but washed his hands and hurried into the bedroom, climbing onto the bed and ducking under the blankets while Gil reached over to turn off the bedside table light. He curled up around Gil, resting his cheek on the lightly furred chest and draped his arm over Gil's belly.

Gil's hand came up to cradle the back of his head as he kissed Nick's temple and said, "We need to talk, but for now, just know that I'm okay with it, Nicky."

Of course he'd figured it out, this was Gil Grissom, after all. Nick sighed shakily, asking, "You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I've arranged to take time off tomorrow after the meeting and you're already off, so we'll talk when I get home," Gil replied. "Get some sleep, Nicky."

Nick sagged in relief and kissed the bare patch of skin beneath his mouth and whispered, "Thanks."

It was easier to talk without having to actually look Gil in the eyes and see his reactions, so they wound up sitting on the couch in much the same position as while watching television the night before. The difference being that Nick was nowhere near sleepy. He hugged Gil and waited for the other man to start.

It was only a few moments before Gil settled into his own comfortable position, an arm over Nick's shoulder and his chin resting on Nick's head. "It was the Eiger case, right?"

Of course Gil would know. A flush heated Nick's face, but he nodded and confirmed, "Yeah. I snagged a telephone number off the board there and carried it around for a couple of weeks. It turned out to be a psychiatrist and yes, I checked him out. I also didn't even call until I'd tried to research it on my own but Jesus, Gil, you should see all the shit out there. I didn't know if I was coming or going, which was why I called Michael."

"Yeah. Dr. Michael Wells. Works out in the 'burbs, not downtown or on the strip. He's been practicing for almost twenty years and has recommendations up the wazoo."

Gil hummed thoughtfully and said, "I'll have to check him out for myself, but I'm glad you ran into a professional. Nicky, why didn't you just come to me with this? I know it's embarrassing, but you can't really have thought that I would turn you away or freak out on you?"

Groaning, Nick answered, "I don't know, I think I did think that. I was really turned around, Gris."

Kissing the top of his head, Gil soothed, "It's okay, Nicky. I'm just a little disappointed that you didn't trust me with this part of you."

Gil's arms tightened around him and another kiss touched his forehead this time. "It's done. Just know that you can trust me with anything and I'm not going to stop loving you, all right?"

"So how far do you want to go with this? Curfews, discipline and/or corporeal punishment, bottles and diapers?"

Biting his lip, Nick answered, "I don't know. I'm kinda figuring this thing out as I go along."

"Mmm. I thought so. All right, this is what we're going to do," Gil began. "I'm going to check out this Dr. Wells for myself and in the meantime, we'll broaden the scope of what you've already been pulling on your own. You ask me for permission if you're want to go out on your own. I don't want you going anywhere on a crime scene without a cop or another CSI with you. If you're going to be late getting home, call me. Run everything by me, your rental choices, your food choices, even your clothing. Better yet, I'll put everything together for you each night and you'll eat and wear what I set out."

Nick's head was spinning with all the rules, but something deep inside relaxed and warmed. He sighed deeply and snuggled even closer, though he really couldn't, and said, "I will, I promise."

"I know you will, Nicky. You're a good boy," Gil told him, kissing him gently on the lips.

Nick moaned, mouth opening eagerly to the kiss, and Gil deepened it, pushing his tongue inside. It went on for a good five minutes, breaths stolen here and there, before Gil pulled back. Nick licked his lips for that last taste of his lover and smiled at him. "Thank you, Gil, you don't know what this means to me."

Returning the smile and lightly tweaking the tip of Nick's nose, he answered, "Oh, I think I might have an inkling, Nicky."

Nick sighed happily and curled back up around his lover, not even caring when Gil turned on a documentary about Easter Island.

Nick looked up in surprise when the doorbell rang. It was his first day off on his own since he and Gil had talked everything out and he'd done all his 'chores,' and was on his allotted television time. He'd been waiting to see this baseball game for forever and now some damn door-to-door was going to interrupt it. Gritting his teeth and making a note to ask Gil about digital cable or something, he hopped to his feet and walked to the door.

Past experience had him peering out of the peephole as he stood to the side. He hesitated on seeing a delivery uniform on the other side of the door. There'd been a rash of break-ins in their neighborhood and he'd heard there were no leads on the case. It was possible that someone was using a delivery uniform to get their foot in the door, so to speak. "Yeah? Can I help you?"

Nick frowned, biting his lip. He wasn't supposed to open the door to anyone he didn't know, even a delivery person, and he'd been skittish since the first break-in two weeks ago anyhow. He about jumped out of his skin when the phone rang. "Hang on a sec, be right with you."

"I know, just a sec!" Nick called through the door, jogging to the phone. He saw Gil's office number and breathed a sigh of relief. "Gil, hey. I was about to call you."

"Nicky, I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you that I ordered you something and it's arriving sometime today," Gil apologized.

Walking back to the door, Nick smiled even though his lover couldn't see it. "That's okay, it's here now. Hang on."

He opened the door on an irritated delivery man and took the pad to sign, as well as the plain brown box with a return address that he didn't recognize. He locked the door and shook the box, hearing something rustle inside before setting it on the sofa.

"Oh Gris, come on! You can't make me just stare at it for three more hours!" Nick complained.

Gil chuckled and said, "I most certainly can. You'll be in serious trouble if you do, Nicky, I mean it."

"You do that. I've got to get back to work. Be good," Gil admonished. "Bye, Nicky."

Sitting on the bed later that night, planted between Gil's legs with his back to Gil's bare chest, Nick eagerly tore the box open. He stopped in surprise when he found dark fabric under the tissue paper. Bemused, he pulled it free and gasped at the incredible softness. Nick had to bring it up to his face, gently rubbing it against his skin.

Gil kissed the back of his neck and said, "Every good boy deserves something of their very own, Nicky. And see, your name is on it."

Nick eagerly turned over the corner to find a silk patch that blended with the dark blanket. His name was embroidered in golden thread onto the silk.

"This is something to hold onto when I'm not around. Something to comfort you when you're feeling alone, something to make you feel safe and loved and cherished, because you are, Nicky," Gil murmured, kissing just under his ear.

The box was tossed aside and Gil took Nick's hand in his, guiding the soft fabric over his bare chest. Nick sighed and fell back against Gil completely, giving himself over to the feelings. His hands were still wrapped in the other end of the blanket, his blanket, and he closed his eyes when Gil whispered for him to do so. Nick moaned as the softness brushed over his cock, which was rapidly hardening at the stimulation. Gil's other hand started stroking him while the blanket continued to trail up and down Nick's body, creating shivers of sensation.

"That's right, Nicky, just lie there and feel good, let me take care of you," Gil murmured, moving his hand faster and tighter. He sucked lightly on Nick's throat and continued, "Such a good boy for me, Nicky, so good. You're a pleasure to have and to love. That's it, good boy, give it up for me, give it up."

Nick moaned, hips jerking into the fist around his cock, panting and shaking as sensation overwhelmed him. He came, spurting into the air with a cry, and sagged against Gil, whimpering a little as Gil continued to milk him and teased his nipples with the soft chenille. He drifted in a comfortable haze, vaguely feeling Gil clean him off. When he was fully aware again, Gil's arms were around him, the blanket covering Nick's chest.

Gil covered his mouth, stopping the words. "Tonight's about you, Nicky. Now. Let's get cleaned up and have something to eat. I have another surprise for you."

Nick squirmed at the wet, ticklish kiss and rolled off the bed, taking the blanket with him. He rolled the smallish blanket, it was only three by three, and whipped Gil on the ass with it when his lover got out of the bed.

Dinner was take-out on the sofa with the television on, but Gil didn't mind. It meant so much to have Nick so happy that he would have eaten on the floor and be damned to his aching knees. It was terrible, really, how they were all used to such a serious Nick. Not unhappy, exactly, but certainly not this playful, light-hearted creature that had snapped him on the ass with a baby blanket. He kissed Nick on the cheek, just because he could and it earned him a shyly pleased look in response.

Pulling his legs up so that he was sitting cross-legged on the couch, Nick asked for the fourth time, "Now do I get my other present?"

Eyes rolling, Gil nodded and agreed, "Yes, okay, now you get your other present...find it."

Nick blinked at him for a moment, then grinned and hopped to his feet. "Now if I were a present hidden by Grissom, where would I be?"

Chuckling, Nick scanned the living room and reasoned, "You haven't been out of my sight since you got home, which means you brought it home last night and hid it while I was sleeping. That rules out the bedroom and bathroom, 'cause I would've woken up if you were rustlin' around. I know that you don't like to mix inanimate objects with food, because you're weird, so there goes the kitchen. On the other hand, I don't see anything out of place in here and you might put it in the kitchen just to mess with me because you can be a cruel, cruel man."

Nick flashed him a grin. "I won't. Hmm. I'm gonna go with my first instinct and say it's in here somewhere. Am I hot or cold?"

Nick returned to his original spot then headed for the television at the other end of the room.

Frowning now, Nick scanned the room again then squinted at Gil suspiciously. He walked closer, slowly.

"You're a pain in the ass sometimes, you know that?" Nick questioned, straddling him.

Gil smirked, resting his hands on Nick's hips and replying, "Hopefully tonight. And I never said it was hidden in the room. You assumed."

Nick started patting him down and quickly felt the lump in Gil's shirt pocket. He pulled out a heavy chain and sat back on Gil's lap, frowning at it. It was a steel bracelet, the metal glinting dully in the light, and had a flat tab that simply read, 'Nicky Grissom.'

Dark eyes looked at him, swimming with unshed tears, and Nick breathed, "Really?"

Nick's mouth attached to his, cutting off the words, and his arms wrapped tight around Gil's neck. Returning the hug just as tight, Gil wound up just holding him as Nick clung to him. He rocked a little, soothing Nick through the emotional moment, though he wasn't crying. Truth be told, he felt a little choked up himself, knowing that Nick really wanted to stay with him so badly.

Clearing his throat, Nick finally pulled back and wiped at his eyes. "How'd you know?"

"I thought it was time," Gil answered. "We've been together for almost a year now and I know that I want you in my life for the rest of it. We can't get married, even in Vegas, but we can show our commitment to others in a visible sign. I've also put your name on the deed to the condo and you're my sole beneficiary for everything."

Shy now, Nick said, "You've been my sole beneficiary for about six months now. I just, I didn't want to scare you away with the 'C' word."

"So, but what about this new thing?" Nick asked hesitantly. "And how come you know just what to do and when to do it? Even for you, that's a little weird."

"First, scoot to your side, my knees aren't as young as they used to be," Gil ordered, smiling. It took a few minutes to get them rearranged so that Nick was curled up over his lap, which was a lot more comfortable than it sounded. "I went through a phase in my twenties where I did just about everything sexually imaginable. I'm very lucky that I didn't come down with anything because that was right around the time that AIDS showed up."

"So, you're saying that you've done this before with someone else?" Nick asked, sounding a little hurt and jealous.

Gil shook his head and kissed his cheek. "No, Nicky, I'm saying that I saw every possible facet of human sexuality that exists. Nothing shocks me and quite a bit of it arouses me. When AIDS arrived, I realized just how lucky I'd been and locked it down, started making sure I knew who my partners were and that we were both safe. I grew up, basically. Then I came here and it was all about the work, which was just what I needed."

"You really are okay with this," Nick observed with wonder. "It doesn't freak you out, or gross you out, or anything."

Biting his lip, Nick looked at the bracelet for a long moment, then asked, "Would you put it on me?"

Gil took the bracelet and unlatched it, feeling the heft of it in his hand. It was solid, strong, masculine, just like Nick, no matter how playful he got. Nick held out his arm and Gil locked the bracelet around his wrist, then brought it up so that he could kiss the cool metal.

Smiling at him, Gil cupped his chin and countered, "I have you, Nicky, that's good enough for me."

Nick's face just about split into a grin before he laughed and said, "That was so corny."

Nick was almost done working a scene with Warrick when the other man finally noticed the bracelet the next afternoon. He was happily sore from Gil's enthusiastic love making and moving a little slower than usual, especially if he had to bend down or sit.

Nick jumped in fright, then glared at him. "Would you stop with the sneaking up on me? Geeze!"

"Sorry, man, didn't mean to scare you," Warrick answered, grinning unrepentantly. He nodded to Nick's wrist and repeated, "What's that?"

Nick brought up his hand and turned the name plate so that it showed his name. Even knowing the grin on his face was stupid and sappy, he said unnecessarily, "Grissom made it official last night. Might as well be a wedding ring on my finger now."

Warrick's eyes widened in shock and for a long moment, he didn't say anything. He finally stammered, "Wow, that's…completely unexpected. I thought you guys were heading for a break-up and whammo, you're married. Damn."

Holding his wrist and his bracelet, Nick stepped back and said tightly, "Thanks for being so happy for me, Warrick."

"No, Nick, I'm sorry man, that didn't come out right," Warrick apologized hastily. "It's just, I know you were floundering around only a couple of weeks ago, so this seems a little fast for me."

"Fast? We've been shackin' up for almost a year," Nick pointed out. "Every couple has their problems."

Warrick sighed and admitted, "I know, but I really didn't think this was, you know, that you felt so strong about him. Nicky, this is Grissom we're talking about. The man's been alone probably almost as long as we've been alive. He ain't going to change for you. Do you really think that you can live with that?"

Feeling like the floor had fallen out from under him, having counted on Warrick's support when so many other people would be against them, Nick said, "I don't want him to change. I love him just the way his is, bugs and long hours and insufferable know-it-all that he can be sometimes. Sorry he doesn't meet your criteria for who I should spend my life with, but he more than meets mine."

"Nick, come on!" Warrick exclaimed. "You know I'm just worried about you. You can be so…trusting…and you know that you've never done real well in the relationship department. Hell, most of the women you go out with turn out to be psycho or wind up framing you for murder by dying. I'm just trying to look out for you, that's all. Grissom's a good man, I'm not going to deny that, but he's so…so…domineering sometimes, and you can be…well…you don't have the best track record for standing up to people."

Trying not to feel hurt by the assessment, knowing that it was accurate, Nick snapped, "Did you ever think that that works for us?"

Warrick's eyes widened again in surprise, then narrowed. "Nicky, are you saying…"

"We gotta get back to work," Nick interrupted, unable to bear the worry and scrutiny. "I'll finish the perimeter."

He could feel Warrick's gaze on him, but ignored it, tracing his name engraved on his bracelet and wishing his had his blanket to curl up around or Gil to hold him.

Gil lost his train of thought and what he was saying to Greg when Nick walked by. There wasn't anything outward to show that anything was wrong, but the very way Nick held himself as he walked, posture stiff and unyielding, so unlike his usual relaxed gait, spoke volumes. Something had happened out on the scene and Gil had a suspicion that it had to do with the way Warrick had reacted to finding out just how serious they were. Despite the black man's support so far, he knew that Warrick had been waiting for them to break up. Not in a mean or bigoted, 'you'll never make it because a gay relationship isn't real' kind of way, but in a, 'you're seriously not made for each other,' kind of way.

Not to mention, he was pretty sure that Warrick didn't think he was good enough for Nick.

Snapping his gaze back to Greg, he answered, "Recheck all of it, Greg. We have to know that there was no contamination."

After only a brief hesitation, Gil decided to check on Nick and walked swiftly to the locker room where he'd be changing, since his shift was over. When he didn't find Nick there, Gil immediately went to his office, waiting impatiently for the elevator and striding quickly down the remaining distance.

Nick was there, hugging his knees on the small sofa in Gil's office. Sitting beside him, Gil took one look at his woebegone face and instantly pulled Nick into his arms, not caring who might walk in or see them. Pressing small kisses to Nick's forehead and cheek, he rubbed Nick's back in soothing circles and asked, "What happened?"

"Warrick's reaction to us was a little less that I was expecting," Nick mumbled into his shoulder.

Gil grimaced and continued his comforting wordlessly. There really wasn't anything to say when someone's best friend let them down.

A few minutes later, Nick sighed and pulled back. "It's not like he was even being all negative and down on us, he was just…"

Rubbing Nick's shoulder, Gil said, "I'm sorry, Nicky. I wish it had gone better."

Nick bit his lip and confessed, "Um, I kinda let slip a little about, you know. How we are now. Nothing specific, but he called you domineering and basically said I was a doormat, and I got angry and said it worked for us."

That's all I need, for Warrick to file some kind of sexual harassment suit on Nick's behalf, Gil thought, sighing.

"Gil? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say anything," Nick apologized in a small voice, looking at the floor.

Realizing that his silence had been taken for condemnation, Gil immediately smiled and caressed Nick's cheek, lifting his head so he could see the smile. "It's okay, Nicky, I'm not angry with you. I'm not angry, period. It's just what happened and you're not to blame for Warrick's reaction, okay? You should've been able to count on him to be happy for you and I'm just sorry that you couldn't. Come here."

Pressing his lips to Nick's short, soft hair, Gil just held him for a few minutes. He slowly disentangled a few minutes later and asked, "Better?"

"Yeah, thanks," Nick agreed shyly, smiling at him. "I always feel better after you hold me like that."

Gil made a mental note about that and said regretfully, "I have to get back to work. Are you okay to get home on your own? I could take an early lunch and drive you."

It was, apparently, the right thing to say because Nick smiled for real at the offer and shook his head. "No, that's cool. I'm good."

"You're a very good boy, Nicky," Gil confirmed, kissing him lightly. "Come on, I'll walk you out."

Nick's posture was a lot more relaxed as they walked to the elevator and Gil knew he'd done the right thing. He made a note to call Michael the next day, though, to set up an official appointment for Nick. Having your best friend desert you was a hard thing to handle, and Gil knew enough to know that he really didn't know enough, in this case.

Warrick grimaced, but turned around to face Grissom and answered warily, "Sure."

Grissom motioned towards one of the empty interrogation rooms and Warrick followed him inside. Once the door was closed, Grissom seemed to need a minute to organize his thoughts. He finally said, "Nick's very upset right now..." and then seemed at a loss as to how to continue.

"Look, Grissom, I'm sorry Nick's upset, because I didn't mean to do that," Warrick told him. "But I've got to be honest here. I don't think the two of you are good for each other."

"So all this time when you were supporting us, you were just waiting for us to fail."

"Well, yeah. I know you can take care of yourself. Nick's the one who's going to get hurt out of this," Warrick stated.

Grissom's lips twisted. "I'm in it for the long haul, Warrick, and so is Nick. Is that going to interfere with how you work with us?"

Shaking his head, Warrick answered, "No. But I want you to think about what you're doing to Nick, here."

"No, it's not that. Grissom, haven't you even noticed the way he's been behaving? He's been...different."

But Warrick had to shake his head again and countered, "He's been almost child-like in how he's behaving, reverting, regressing, whatever the hell you want to call it. It's not the way a grown man should be acting."

"That's not for you to say. He does his work the same exceptional way that he always has. Interacts with people in a professional, competent manner. Warrick, didn't you ever think that maybe he finally feels comfortable enough with you to show you how and who he really is?"

The question paused him, and Warrick frowned. "We've been friends for three years, Grissom. He's felt comfortable with me long before now."

"How do you know?" Grissom asked simply. "How do you know this isn't the way Nick is naturally and he's been acting different to try and fit in. You can't pigeonhole people, Warrick, or you're going to lose out on the richness a different way of life can show you."

"That's for Nick to say, if he wants to confide in you. At the moment, I doubt he'd want to share the sports page with you, let alone anything personal."

Which stung the hell out of him. Warrick grimaced again and said, "I'm just looking out for him."

"Then trust that he knows what he's doing is right for him. It wouldn't be for you or me, but it is for Nick."

And even though Warrick knew that he was going to regret asking, he questioned, "Are you messing around with D/s shit? Because that can only wind up hurting Nick. You're right when you said he's not like you and me, because he needs to please people and if you put love in the equation, it's only going to get worse."

Grissom's lips twitched in a brief, wry smile. "What we do in the privacy of our home is no one else's business, not even yours, and that's all I'm going to say on the matter."

It was as good as a confirmation to Warrick and he snapped, "It is my business if it concerns Nick. He's my best friend, Grissom, and I'm not going to let him lose himself, not to you or anyone else!"

Completely serious, Grissom warned, "Don't make him choose, Warrick, because that's a fight you can't, and won't win. Be his friend. Give him the support he needs, or walk away. Because I'll tell you something. If I think he's suffering from mistreatment here, or some kind of well-meaning harassment, we'll leave."

Grissom shrugged. "And I can build up another one. The only thing that's important to me is Nick's happiness and if moving somewhere new keeps him happy, that's what we'll do. Find a way to deal with this Warrick, or be prepared to lose Nick altogether. It's your choice."

Nick was asleep when Gil got home, which he should have been by midnight, given the new rules. The food scheduled to be Nick's dinner had been eaten, as had some extra ice cream, but Gil didn't begrudge him the comfort food. He merely shook his head fondly and walked to the bedroom, ready to crash after an emotionally charged night. Warrick hadn't been the only one to take exception to him and Nick becoming official; Sara and Catherine had also chimed in with mostly negative views.

Sara being pissed was understandable since they had a rocky history of 'almost-could-have-been,' but Catherine's anger was still a troublesome mystery. A mystery he no longer had the energy to think about, or deal with. Strangely, it had been Greg to give him a bright grin and two literal thumbs up. The young man had been happy that he and Nick were happy and Gil heartily wished that everyone else had taken the same attitude.

Gil stopped short at the sight of Nick curled around his new blanket and Gil's pillow, under the covers. It was so endearing that his throat tightened and he couldn't resist lightly brushing his hand over Nick's hair. Nick stirred, sighing and nuzzling the blanket, but didn't wake. Wanting to keep it that way, Gil walked silently to the bathroom to get changed and ready for bed.

Nightly ablutions taken care of, Gil walked back to the bed and climbed in, spooning up behind Nick and pressing his lips to the back of his bare neck. It was one of his favorite places on Nick's body. That bare, vulnerable spot just beneath the hairline which was, thankfully, growing in from that awful buzz cut.

Nick murmured sleepily, twisting until he was tucked up tight against Gil, the blanket still held in his arms. Smiling, Gil kissed his gently on his forehead and cheek and nose and, finally, his mouth. Just soft, barely there kisses designed not to wake, but to reassure even in sleep. Nick heaved a deep sigh and rested completely on Gil, his weight heavy, but welcome.

He really hadn't thought that it would be this hard, people officially taking notice of them. Honestly, Gil hadn't thought they were being all that secretive or even discreet about their relationship. Of course, he'd always been physically affectionate with Nick, even before they'd started a sleeping together, so maybe there hadn't been all that much of a change. Maybe it had just seemed like he was different because to Gil, his life was so much more the moment he and Nick had kissed for the first time.

Gil smiled at the thought. Nick mock-complained that he was inherently a sap, and it was true. Part of keeping everyone at a distance was being able to protect himself from being hurt. There were too many deep scars on his heart to be able to sustain another one, which was why he wasn't all that upset with Nick's unexpected predilections. The more dependent he was on Gil, the more he needed Gil for his emotional well-being, the less likely it was that he would ever leave.

Maybe Warrick's right to be worried, Gil mused. I don't think I can ever let Nicky go, now. I don't think I'd survive the loss in any recognizable form. Probably become that crazy old scientist on the corner or something, alone with my bugs.

Whatever Warrick or Catherine or Sara or anyone else thought didn't matter. All that mattered to Gil was that Nick was happy. He still wasn't sure how far this would go and was pretty sure that Nick didn't either, but he was more than willing to find out.

Nick smiled as Gil's hands moved the washcloth over his body, soaping him up gently. He'd woken cradled in Gil's arms with his head resting on his blanket on Gil's chest, which had instantly put him in a good mood. And even though Gil had another four hours in which he could sleep, he'd gotten up with Nick and herded him to the shower to 'make sure you wash behind your ears.'

And other places, Nick thought with a moan as his cock was stoked with the slippery fabric. "God, feels so good, Gil."

Gil took his mouth in a slow, deep, possessive kiss and he moaned again, opening to it and accepting whatever his lover wanted to dish out. He backed up against the wall and Gil pushed his leg between Nick's, trapping him there. Not that he had any inclination to move. The cloth began washing him again, sliding down around his ass and moving through his cleft, pressing firmly over his hole, but not entering. Nick shuddered, rocking against the strong leg between his, needing more.

Pulling back a little, Gil ordered softly, "Let me take care of you, Nicky, just relax and come whenever you need to."

Nick groaned as the washcloth continued to rub between his ass cheeks, head lolling back against the tile. He was so close, needed just a little more to get there…

"That's it, baby boy, let yourself go for Daddy," Gil murmured in his ear, pulling Nick's cock hard with a twist.

Nick cried out loud, body arching into the tight grip, the words echoing through his head as he came harder than he could remember coming in a long time. He was vaguely aware of Gil's moans and the warm, wet splatter of come, not water, against his abdomen moments later. Weak and shaking, Nick rested heavy against the wall and in Gil's arms, opening his mouth to a gentle, deep kiss. Opening his eyes finally, still dazed, he found Gil smiling at him and managed a smile of his own.

Nick sighed, but obeyed, moving where and how Gil directed him. This time he really was washed clean, no attempts to arouse him, and he smiled shyly at Gil when the other man bathed his limp genitals without hesitation. Then they were out of the tub and he was dried off in a soft, fluffy towel, just as efficiently.

"Okay. Clothes are on the bed, go get dressed," Gil ordered, swatting him lightly on the ass. "I'll make breakfast."

Nodding, Nick hurried out to the bedroom to get dressed, not wanting to keep Gil awake any longer than he had to. It was incredible, what they'd just done, but not terribly fair to deprive his lover of his sleep like that. His heart was warmed through by the gesture, though, and he felt…settled…rock solid in his certainty that he was loved.

When he got to the kitchen not ten minutes later, Gil informed him, "I tried to make an appointment with Michael for you, but he's booked solid for the next two weeks. He will, however, be able to meet up with you for lunch."

Nick frowned, even as he took the plate of eggs and toast, and asked, "Why am I seeing him?"

"Because you need to talk about what happened between you and Warrick," Gil replied. "I know the two of you haven't spoken in a few days now and that's not right. If it's going to continue, though, you need to talk to someone about it. I thought, under the circumstances, that Michael would be the best suited."

Heaving a sigh, rapidly losing his appetite, Nick said, "I don't need to, not really."

Even though the eggs no longer held any appeal, Nick forced himself to eat. He didn't want to disappoint Gil and maybe he was a little hungry anyhow. It wasn't long before he was ready to go and Gil walked him to the door.

"Than I guess you're set. If you need me for anything, call me," Gil ordered, pulling him in for a lingering kiss. "I'll be in at the regular time."

Nick jumped a little when someone touched his shoulder. He wagged a finger at Catherine and asked, "Trying to give me a heart attack at an early age?"

Nick shrugged, motioning to the torn fabric on the table in front of him, explaining, "You wouldn't believe just how many manufacturers of this stuff there are. I mean, I thought it was just regular scuba gear to begin with, which is weird enough considering we're in Vegas, but it's not. See, there's this extra…"

Catherine interrupted, putting a hand on his shoulder with, "No, Nicky, I was asking about you. How are you doing, not the case."

Pulling another stool over, Catherine sat beside him and said, "I know you and Gil have…been together for a while now. I just wanted to make sure that you're okay. He's not exactly the easiest person in the world to live with, I'm sure."

Why is everyone so quick to assume that Gil's the deviant in this relationship? Nick wondered in exasperation. "Catherine…"

"It's just that Warrick came to me a couple of days ago and told me what you said to him," Catherine said quickly. "And I know Gil can be demanding, to say the least. I know you love him, Nicky, but I'm just worried that he might be a little…too much for you to handle."

In the face of her obvious concern and anxiety, Nick couldn't be angry, not like he'd been with Warrick. He'd always told Catherine everything and had to admit that he'd been neglecting their friendship the last few months in favor of being with Gil. Sighing, Nick took her hand and apologized, "I'm sorry I haven't been around for you, Cath. I haven't been a real good friend to you lately. But you've gotta believe me when I say that Gil is nothing but loving and attentive and gentle with me. He's almost like a different man when we're alone together. So sweet, so…nurturing and protective, believe it or not. I'm safe with him, Catherine, I promise."

She stared into his eyes for a long moment and Nick willed her to believe him. Not just for the sake of their friendship, but for the long-standing one she had with Gil. That they might lose that over him was too awful to think about. Catherine gave a reluctant nod and said, "All right. I'll take your word that everything's okay, but I want you to promise me something, Nicky."

"That if things take a turn that you don't like, or if you need somewhere to go, promise me that you'll come to me and let me help you."

Nick smiled. He knew that would never happen, so he felt okay in agreeing to it. "I will, I promise."

Relieved, she kissed his cheek and stood up. "Good. So, didn't you have an appointment to get to?"

Looking at his watch, Nick jumped to his feet, swearing, "Damnit! Yes, I do. Thanks, Cath! I'll be back in about an hour and a half, depending."

He started packing up the evidence, paying careful attention as he did, but Catherine just said, "Go on, Nick, I'll take care of this."

"Thanks, Catherine, you're a life saver!" Nick exclaimed, grinning at her before he ran out of the room.

Michael smiled as Nick hurried up to the table apologizing, "I am so sorry, I got caught up at work and completely lost track of time!"

Standing, Michael replied, "It's not a problem, Nick, believe me. I've been passing time in one of my favorite hobbies; people watching."

Sitting in the chair Michael indicated, Nick looked around the outside part of the café and observed, "It's a good place for that."

Chuckling, Michael said, "No need to be embarrassed, it happens all the time in my household. I make sure Charlie has everything he needs, including good nutrition. The boy would live on chocolate and soda if I let him."

Michael grinned and told him, "According to Gil, you would live on fast food and soda so no, not quite as bad."

The waiter arrived just then with their orders. Nick found that he had a taco salad, a good sized one with really fresh looking veggies and the aroma of sharply spiced meat instantly made his mouth water. "Oh, man, that looks great!"

"Dig in," Michael suggested, starting to cut up his own steak. They were quiet for a few minutes, each man busy prepping his food to taste, and then Michael asked, "So Gil said you had a fall out with your best friend?"

Nick groaned, but nodded. "It's not a big deal. I mean, it'll blow over and we'll go back to the way we were. We always do. I'm not sure why Gil's making such a fuss about it."

Swallowing his mouthful, Nick wiped his lips before answering, "Not a lot, a lot, but often enough. 'Rick and I're pretty competitive, especially at work. We've even been up for the same position and worked off each other before. The friendship always makes it through."

Michael nodded and washed down his own food before asking, "How is work? Everything going all right there?"

"Oh yeah, it's fine," Nick replied. "Catherine's got a bit of a mother hen complex right now, but that's because she's a mom, you know?"

Smiling, Michael agreed, "On some things. Most he left up to you to talk about, if you want to."

"Of course. This is for you, Nick," Michael confirmed. "If you want to talk about Warrick, work, Gil, your relationship, or something else entirely, it's up to you. Gil might make the appointment for you, but what happens when you get here is entirely your decision. And despite our location, you can consider this to have privilege. Nothing you tell me goes any further."

The crime scene was a fairly straight-forward one, and for that Gil was grateful. It was in the confined space of a car and the victim had been strangled. Any blood or tissue they found would probably belong to the perp. The car was owned, not rented, so that would also limit the number of fingerprints they lifted to be identified. The bad news was that the victim was an eighteen year old UNLV student that seemed to be universally liked, so there were no real suspects.

So far, he'd been with Jim to question the roommate and boyfriend, but there was nothing unusual there. Both were extremely upset and barely coherent upon finding out that Louisa Jamison was dead, true reactions, in Gil's opinion, not faked ones. The dorm neighbors were equally as stunned to find out and fairly useless in regards to potential suspects. That done, he walked with Jim back to the cars, not surprised when the cop decided to question him about Nick. He'd been waiting for it since the cat had been let out of the bag.

"You sure you know what you're doing with Nick, Grissom?" Jim questioned abruptly.

"Could get messy, if one of you decides it's not the right thing after all. You both work at the same place."

"Plenty of married couples work together and Nick and I aren't even on the same shift anymore."

Jim looked at him intently for a moment, then shrugged. "Okay. I'll see you back at the barn."

All in all, it was the best reaction from anyone except for Greg, which was rather depressing. Gil waved goodbye and climbed into the Tahoe, wondering how Nick had done on his lunch session with Michael. He hadn't gotten a call from either man, so it was easy to assume that everything had gone just fine. On the other hand, Gil rather doubted that Michael would call him regarding anything that Nick told him in confidence, and Nick could be too embarrassed or ashamed of whatever they'd talked about to tell him anything.

Getting back to the lab, Gil nodded to Greg on his way past the young man in the hall and headed straight for Mia.

The straight-laced black woman was as formal and cool as she always was, relating her findings in an unceremonious fashion. When she was done with the report, she surprised him by saying, "I know you and Stokes haven't been getting a lot of support, so I just wanted to say I think it's great that you two have made things official."

Bemused, Gil left the DNA lab and headed for the garage to talk to Sara. Not something that he was looking forward to, given her animosity of late, but there was no help for it. At least Nick didn't have to work with her. Gil wasn't all that sure that the young man would be able to take the heat of one of her tongue-lashings.

Sara had already taken out the back seat of the small two-door car, making it easier for her to work in such a confined space. Gil observed her for a moment before asking, "Would you like some help?"

A little surprised by the ready response, Gil walked the rest of the way over, pulling on a pair of gloves as he did.

"I've already gone over the whole thing for hair, fiber, and semen," she reported.

Sara hesitated. "I'm not sure. Just, something about the scene bugged me. I know there's something here, but I can't figure out what."

It wasn't until they'd ripped out the front seats that they found what Sara had subconsciously already known was there; a hidden compartment under the front seat. It had raised the seat to a height that it wasn't supposed to be and, since she'd owned one of them a few years ago, Sara had felt immediately that something wasn't right, even if she hadn't figured out what. They documented the find and opened it on a brick of cocaine.

Giving a low whistle of appreciation, Sara commented, "Guess she wasn't Miss Goody Two Shoe after all."

Unfortunately, Gil had to agree. It looked like his straight-forward crime scene had turned into something far murkier and complicated.

Gil didn't get home until almost eleven the next morning, well after his shift was due to end. They hadn't solved either the drug connection or the murder yet, but he'd forced himself to leave it in Sara's very capable hands to go home to Nick. He'd called his lover when it became apparent that he wasn't going to get back anywhere near on time, let alone early. Nick had assured him that it was fine and he would just go to bed at the usual time.

Since Gil was now looking at Nick camped out on the sofa, sound asleep with the wreckage of a pizza on the coffee table, along with a couple of beer bottles, it was clear that Nick had broken a number of rules in his absence. Lips pursed, Gil decided not to wake him. Instead, he got changed and silently left the condo to return to work, testing to see if Nick would own up to the disobedience.

Back in his office, Gil took a few hours to sleep, waking up to the tinny sound of his annoying alarm clock. He groaned at the stiffness in his back and neck, rubbing at the latter as he sat up. He yawned his way to the locker room, splashing water on his face there to wake up at least partly.

Warrick showed up as Gil ran a comb through his hair, but the other man didn't comment, instead going into one of the stalls.

It was still an hour before Nick's shift started, so Gil didn't expect to see the other man and was curious as to why Warrick was on so early. It wasn't his place to ask, though, so he simply returned his bathroom kit to his locker and left. From there, he grabbed a cup of coffee and headed to the lab to see what Greg and Mia had come up with.

Nick stared at the half-empty box of pizza uncertainly before his gaze moved to the beer bottles. He wasn't even sure why he'd decided to break the rules and have both of them. And sleeping on the sofa hadn't been nearly as comfortable as he remembered. He could have been happily snuggled down in bed, surrounded by Gil's scent and curled up around his blanket, but instead had sacked out on the sofa.

Sighing, Nick started cleaning up, throwing away the pizza and beer bottles, then running a sponge over the coffee table. Once that was done, he wandered into the bedroom and stared at the empty bed. On impulse, he climbed under the covers and pressed his face to Gil's pillow. Sure enough, it held the aroma of Gil's shampoo and musk, a comforting and arousing mix.

Rolling onto his back, Nick stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes, thinking about his behavior of the night before. His alarm chose that moment to go off and Nick swatted it off in annoyance. He climbed out of bed and started getting ready for work. No need to compound his punishment, whatever it would be, by being late to work. Not that he even was sure there would be some kind of punishment, but even if all Grissom did was give him that disappointed look, Nick knew he'd be feeling lower than low.

Deciding not to push his luck, Nick ate breakfast just as if Gil were there and cleaned until the condo was spotless. Actually, he cleaned it better than Grissom, since the other man usually had more important things on his mind than wiping down the counter and vacuuming. By the time he was done, it was time to go so he took one last look around before grabbing his lunch and leaving to go to work.

The drive over was so nerve-wracking that Nick couldn't even sing on his way in, which he always did. He sat in the garage for a few minutes after parking, unable to make himself go inside.

Come on, don't be such a coward. It's not like he even knows you did anything wrong, he prodded himself silently.

Yeah, but it's Grissom. He'll probably smell the pizza on my breath even though I brushed my teeth.

Oh bullshit. And you didn't commit a crime, you just had pizza and a couple of beers. It's no big deal.

Nick thumped his head on the steering wheel a couple of times, knowing that it was a big deal because he'd broken the rules. A tap on the window scared him half to death and he jerked upright, pulling a neck muscle. Heart beating fast, he glared at Warrick and opened the door. "What're you trying to do, scare me to death? Jeeze! You and Catherine both!"

Holding up his hands, surprised, Warrick exclaimed, "Easy buddy, I didn't mean to scare you. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry. Overreacted there, I guess," Nick replied, taking a breath. "Shouldn't have jumped on you like that. I'm just a little...jumpy."

Shaking his head, Nick said, "Nah, it's not even anything specific. It's just, I haven't been this happy since I was a kid and I guess I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know?"

Warrick nodded slowly and gripped his shoulder. "Yeah, yeah I do. Come on, let's go inside."

Nick fell into step with Warrick and they headed for the elevator. While they were waiting for it, he asked awkwardly, "How's Inna?"

"History, unfortunately," Warrick answered, grimacing. "Missed one too many dates."

Nick entered the elevator first and stabbed at the button that would bring him to Grissom's office instead of the main floor. At Warrick's inquiring look, he said, "Just need to tell him something."

"I got in early to work on Mia a little and saw him head out with Sophia, probably on that case they've been doggin' for the last twenty-four hours," Warrick told him. There was a pause, like Warrick was going to say something else, but didn't.

Nick frowned, disappointed he wouldn't get to talk to Gil and wondering what Warrick wasn't telling him. Was Gil in a bad mood? Had something happened to him? Nick blanched at the thought and demanded, "He's okay, right? He didn't get hurt?"

Sighing in relief, Nick stepped off the elevator with Warrick and they both turned towards the locker room. It didn't take long to drop things off and then shove his lunch into the fridge, meeting back up with Warrick in Catherine's office to get their assignment for the night.

"Okay. Warrick, you have an unidentified DB down at the corner of Belle Fleur and 5^th St. And for you Nicky, a dead prostitute at the Wilson Arms is calling your name," Catherine announced, handing papers over to both of them.

Nick held up a hand before Warrick could go anywhere and asked, "Hey um, guys? Can you not call me Nicky anymore?"

Warrick's eyebrows rose while Catherine's gaze narrowed and she countered, "Any particular reason for the name change?"

Since he couldn't say he only wanted Grissom calling him that, Nick just shrugged and fudged, "I think it's time, that's all. Nicky's a little, kiddish, you know?"

Warrick nodded and the thoughtful look in his eyes didn't bode well for any alone time they might have in the near future, but Nick was a little scared of the glint in Catherine's eyes.

All she did was nod and say, "That's fine, Nick. Anything else? No? All right. I'll see you both later."

Thankful that he'd gotten out of there with his pride intact, if not his nerves, Nick bolted for the door.

When it was Sophia who figured out the connection between the drugs and the murder, Gil knew that he hadn't had enough sleep to have missed such an obvious thing.

Not in the least mollified, Gil replied dryly, "For more reason than I keep myself, apparently."

"Thanks. I don't think I'm up for his smirks just now," Gil accepted, shaking his head.

Arching an eyebrow at her, they hadn't flirted in quite a while, Gil countered, "I think I'm about ready to sleep for twelve hours," but smiled as he spoke.

It was amazing how much more comfortable some women were around gay men that they knew were absolutely gay. Distracted as he was, it took a few seconds to notice Nick standing by one of his office windows. The stricken expression on his face was enough to tell him that his lover was thinking the worst. Thinking fast, he called, "Nicky! Come in here, please."

Nick had been backing away, but stopped short at the order. And it was an order, even phrased as a request. Straightening, Nick walked the rest of the way inside the office.

Nick closed the door and stood in front of the desk looking for all the world like a kid whose puppy had just been kicked. His eyes were big and dark and more emotional than Gil had seen in quite a while. The bad emotional, that was.

Leaning on his desk, Gil said quietly, "I stopped at home last night to check on you."

"I'm disappointed that you disobeyed me, but it's not entirely unexpected, given the newness of this part of our relationship. That doesn't excuse you, however," Gil informed him.

"Now? Now I give you twenty lashes with a crop when we get home." Gil paused as Nick froze completely, color draining from his face, then continued, "Now I give you some alone-time when we get home, Nicky. Time to think about what you did, and why."

"Beer on a work night? The pizza I might have let slide, possibly even not going to bed when you were supposed to, but not the alcohol. Not when you're home alone without me," Gil stated, inexorable.

Gil stood and walked over to him. Hooking his finger under Nick's bracelet, Gil tugged on it and pointed out, "The rules exist for a reason, Nicky. You might not agree with them, but you have a chance to discuss that. Had a chance when we laid everything out, if you'll remember. Breaking the rules means that you get punished. All things considered, you're getting off light because this is a first infraction."

Doing his best not to let out a smile at Nick's forlorn expression, Gil asked, "Do you know why the rules exist, Nicky?"

"Well, there is that, but mostly because I love you too much to let you risk yourself on potentially dangerous behavior," Gil stated, tugging again on the bracelet. "What if Catherine had called because a big case had broken? I know three beers isn't enough to put you under, but you wouldn't have been able to go on duty if you were legally drunk, no matter that you were sober enough to function properly. The rules are one of my ways of looking out for you. If I have to get more strict with you, I will, understood?"

His expression brightening, Nick nodded. Biting his lip, he replied softly, "Yes, Daddy."

"That's my good boy," Gil said, smiling at last. He pulled Nick into his arms and held him tight for a long moment, Nick's face pressing against his throat. "I love you, Nicky, don't ever forget that."

"I won't," Nick promised, words muffled against Gil's skin. "Love you, too."

Nick sighed happily as he lay quiet in Gil's arms on the sofa, not really watching the television. They'd had a good day off, going to a matinee, having dinner out, and coming back home to just relax. Nick was currently draped over Gil, head tucked up under the other man's chin, relishing the feel of his lover's arm curved protectively over his shoulder. Gil was immersed in the news, something Nick never understood since it was just all bad news, but it was what he did.

The week of punishment was over and things were finally back to normal. Not that he'd been all that harshly taken to task, but during those two hours every night, he could feel Gil's disappointment that he'd broken the rules. Gil wasn't even home during those two hours before bed and he could feel it like a smothering blanket. But after, Gil would call him and they would talk about what he'd felt and thought about during that time and by the end of it, Nick would be a little more at peace with himself.

Then Gil would tell him to lie in bed holding his blanket and talk him into orgasm, which led directly to falling asleep with the phone in hand. He would always wake in the early afternoon to Gil in bed with him, regardless of what case was being worked, and Nick would know that he was loved and cared for, just like Gil kept saying.

Gil's hand started rubbing up and down Nick's back and he asked, "Are you happy, Nicky?"

"Mmmyeah, Daddy," Nick answered, kissing his lover's throat. Wiggling a bit so that he lay between Gil's legs, he continued, "Never been happier. Why?"

"I've been waiting for you to...take the next step, as it were," Gil answered slowly.

Nick frowned and pushed up on his palms so he could look into troubled blue eyes, repeating, "Next step?"

Gil nodded and explained, "Aside from the blanket, you don't seem interested in any of the...accoutrements...that go with infantilism. You haven't brought up diapers or bottles or anything else that goes with it."

Biting his lip, Nick flushed and pushed off Gil all the way, sitting back and crossing his legs. Snagging his blanket from the floor, he held it close and admitted, "I don't know why not. I've thought about it, since that's what started this whole thing, but mostly, I just get embarrassed and a little...it doesn't turn me on. I thought that it was, that I wanted to be like that, but I guess I don't know what I want."

Gil sat up as well, but smiled as he took hold of Nick's blanket and used it to pull Nick's hands into his. "Then you're not into it, which is fine, too. If this is what you want, being my boy, then I'm more than happy to leave things the way they are."

"I definitely want that," Nick said shyly. "I want to be yours, Daddy, all the time."

Pulling him back into his arms, Gil stated, "You are mine, Nicky, no one else's. My boy, my best and most favorite boy in the world. My only boy ever, Nicky."

Nick accepted the soft, possessive kiss with a happy moan, opening to it eagerly. This was so good, his life was so perfect that sometimes it hurt to breathe. His breath hitched, which unfortunately caused Gil to pull back and look at him with concern.

"What's wrong, Nicky?" Gil asked gently, stroking his face with the back of his hand.

Gil echoed the smile and kissed him again, deepening it so that Nick knew they were about to go to bed early. For this, though, he really didn't mind.

Still mentally grinning from Warrick's tale in the locker room, Nick strode down the hallway with the other man, glad that they were back on the friendship track. It really had sucked not having Warrick around to talk to, even if it had been only for a few days. They'd just passed Catherine's office when she came out of it.

"Oh, my two favorite guys. So, I've got an assault at Stripperama and a trash run at Flamingo and Koval. I'm too busy to play favorites, so duke it out," Catherine finished, giving both job slips to Warrick before heading back to her office.

"Duke it out," Nick said, shaking his fist at Warrick. "Boy! Better flip a coin. I'll hurt you."

Nick dug in his pocket for a coin as Warrick warned, "Yeah, you better flip that coin."

Grinning, Nick flipped it up into the air and ordered, "Call it in the air."

Warrick handed Nick the assignment with a smart-assed, "Have fun at the trash run."

Nick sighed, then smiled as he backed away and said, "You know, I'd do two out of three, but you got a gambling problem."

Warrick laughed, not in the least offended.

Before he left, though, Nick turned back and said, "No, hey, you know what?" He held up the coin and continued, "You keep this. It's bad luck."

Nick tossed the coin to Warrick, who easily caught it, and then headed cheerfully on his way to the elevator. He was in it when, somehow, the clasp on his bracelet failed and the metal chain fell to the floor. "Damn it!"

Bending down, he quickly scooped the cherished bracelet into his hand and bit his lip. Had he been too rough? Had he not been paying attention and caught it on something? How pissed would Gil be? The elevator doors opened and he walked out into the garage, but his step had definitely slowed. Remembering that Gil had told him to call if anything was the matter, no matter how silly it might seem, Nick hesitantly pulled out his cell as he climbed into the Denali.

"Oh man, you went back to sleep? I'm sorry, Gris, I shouldn't've called you," Nick exclaimed, aggravated with himself.

Sounding more awake, Gil answered, "Nonsense. What is it? What do you need, Nicky?"

"Yeah! It just fell off in the elevator. Something's wrong with the clasp, I guess." It only took a brief silence as Gil took in his words for the heat of embarrassment to hit. "Never mind, it was stupid. I totally should not have called about something so..."

"I'm glad you called," Gil stated. "You should have called, it was absolutely the right thing to do."

The nod was almost audible as Gil said, "Definitely. Just leave it in the glove box when you go out to the scene so it doesn't get lost. That's where you're going, right?"

"Yeah. Trash run. I got the short straw tonight," Nick complained, relieved and happy by the reassurance.

"That's right," Gil confirmed, voice warm. "And you're my baby boy. You do a good job out there, just like you always do, and make me proud, okay? I'll have the bracelet fixed first thing tomorrow. I love you, Nicky."

Nick hung up and reached over to carefully put the bracelet in the glove box. He turned on the radio as he drove out of the garage and started singing.

Gil was arguing heatedly with Catherine when the call came in via a breathless Greg. He skidded to a stop in front of them and exclaimed, "Grissom! Catherine! Someone's taken Nick!"

But Gil was already running, not bothering to listen to the rest of the explanation. Catherine was right beside him, both of them bypassing the elevator in favor of the stairs. He went straight for the Denali that had his kit in it, jumping into the driver's seat and barely waiting for Catherine to get in before flooring it. Fortunately, he always kept track of where Nick was, which assignments he got, so he knew exactly where to go. If Catherine's new-found protectiveness of Nick had a problem with his knowledge, she kept it to herself.

It took an eternity of about fifteen minutes to get to the lot where Nick had gone to investigate. Once there, having caught his breath, Gil shoved the irrational fear down to where he couldn't be swayed or influenced by it. He had to employ all of his skills now if they were going to get Nick back.

And we are going to get Nick back, he thought fiercely, just before he turned off all emotion and got out of the car.

Jim was ripping into the officer who had, apparently, accompanied Nick and then lost him when they walked past the two men.

"Think! Did you see anybody else in the area?"

The officer shook his head. "I didn't see anything, sir. I mean, I only took my eyes off him for a couple seconds..."

"You're not supposed to take your eyes off him ever!" Jim snapped.

They walked over to what had to be the initial crime scene.

Jim fell into step with them and announced, "He's been gone maybe twenty-five minutes.

Taking out his flashlight, Gil shined it on the bloody innards on the concrete next to evidence marker #1. He looked to the side and found the tire marks next to evidence marker #2. Ignoring both Catherine and Jim, he continued along the evidence trail, passing more tire marks and evidence marker #3.

It was at the fourth marker that they found Nick's vest and things. Gil's heart broke as he saw the items lying there on the blacktop, but kept going, leaving Catherine to examine things.

He heard her call out, "I got some white fibers on Nick's vest." There was a brief pause, then, "Smells like alcohol."

He came on a red fire hydrant where a Styrofoam cup in an evidence bag rested on the curb. Looking at it for a long moment, Gil tried to figure out what was wrong with the picture before him. Putting his kit down, he took out a pair of gloves and pulled them on.

Picking up the evidence bag, Gil continued to look at it until Catherine joined him with a curious, "Why'd you bag that?"

"I didn't."

Catherine knelt beside him to look at the bag and commented, "It's the wrong color tape. No initials on the seal. That's not Nick's evidence."

Feeling his heart constrict, Gil answered calmly, "Maybe it's a message."

It was only about fifteen minutes later that Ecklie showed up, because Gil's night really just wasn't going badly enough already. His stomach felt like it was about to be eaten through by acid, his head was throbbing from all the emotion he'd forced down tight, and oh yeah, Nick was still missing and they hadn't a real clue to go on yet. They had more personnel than when he and Catherine had arrived, but that was about it. At least the dogs had finally gotten there.

Ecklie looked as serious as he'd ever been when he told them, "Gil, Catherine. I want you to know, as far as I'm concerned, lab's only got one case tonight. Same for the rest of the department."

Just after Ecklie left, Warrick walked up to them with, "Hey. What do you need me to do?"

"Go with the dogs, please Warrick," Gil ordered. "I'm going to go over Nick's truck, even though there probably isn't anything, since the officer was there. Catherine, would you accompany the 'body' to the morgue and go over the results with Al and then bring them to me?"

Knowing things were well in hand, Gil walked over to the Denali that was surrounded by police and other CSIs not normally under his command. He climbed into the passenger's side and immediately opened the glove box. There, at the bottom, lay the bracelet that he'd given to Nick. It looked forlorn and abandoned, not nestled securely around Nick's wrist as it should be. His throat tightened, but Gil forced the emotion back and picked up the chain, slipping it into his pocket before turning to go over the rest of the truck.

There was a bad taste in his mouth as the black of unconsciousness gave way to thought and reason and fear. Nick stirred slightly before opening his eyes to find himself in physical darkness, save for a strange, green light. He tried to sit up and whacked his head on something solid. Lying back down, he put a hand to his forehead, that was now throbbing, then pushed up again.

He moved around only to discover that he was in a tiny, confined space with no apparent exit. Picking up a glow stick, Nick looked around and saw a small light in the bottom of the box between his feet. His gun was near his hand and he picked it up, automatically checking the cartridge to find that it was still loaded.

Using the glow stick, Nick looked around again, then tapped his tiny cell on the side. It isn't until he looked closer that he realized that it was plexiglass and that there was dirt on the other side. Shoving aside the fear that ratcheted up several notches, Nick felt around for something, anything, to tell him what the fuck was going on when his hand encountered a small tape recorder. He turned it on and got his explanation from an unknown, taunting male voice…

"Hi, CSI guy. You wondering why you're here? Because you followed the evidence. Because that's what CSIs do. So breathe quick, breathe slow, put your gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. Any way you like, you're going to die here. Okay."

The tape shut itself off.

In a burst of panic, Nick struggled to get free; he pounded his fists against the box and flipped over, trying to find a way out. He wound up on his back again, trying to push it open with his strength, but it didn't move a centimeter. He was buried too deep, there was too much weight on top of the…of the…

It was with a severe feeling of foreboding that Gil slipped the cassette tape into a player and pressed the 'play' button. Music started and it took a moment to recognize the tune, 'Outside Chance,' by the Turtles.

You can try to please me
but it won't be easy
stone walls surround me
I'm surprised that you even found me
and you don't stand an outside chance
don't stand
an outside chance
you don't stand an outside chance
but you can try ...

Catherine's voice was thick with fury as she snapped, "Son of a bitch! He's screwing with us."

Gil picked up the USB flash drive that had also fallen out of the envelope, and walked over to the computer. The music played in the background, but he did his best to ignore it as he plugged in the device.

Whatever you do, girl
you know you can't get through, girl
can't bring me down

A website address came up on the screen in front of him and he moved the mouse to click on it.

Hang me up or even hang around
and you don't stand an outside chance
you don't stand
an outside chance
you don't stand an outside chance
but you can try
... try

A message appeared on the monitor and the large screen in front: ONE MILLION DOLLARS IN 12 HOURS. OR THE CSI DIES. DROP-OFF INSTRUCTIONS TO FOLLOW. AND NOW FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE: YOU CAN ONLY WATCH.

Feeling sick, Gil clicked on the 'watch' button with the mouse and an image of Nick inside a box appears from an angle near Nick's head. Gil's stomach dropped at seeing his lover in such a place and his jaw tightened. There was a timer at the bottom of the screen and it started counting down from: 11:59.59.58.57.56

Gil was so upset by what he saw that he couldn't even bear to look at the others. He knew that their emotions would be running just as high, seeing Nick trapped, buried in a coffin. The song resurfaced in his now-perfect hearing…

I know you think you'll get me
I'm only flesh and bone
but you may as well forget me
'cause my heart is stone
you better leave me alone
yeah!
You can try to please me
but it won't be easy

Nick began to struggle in the box, panting, trying to push the cover open with sheer, brute force. It actually hurt Gil when the damn thing didn't move, no matter how much of his considerable strength Nick used. The trapped man pounded on the glass, trying desperately to get out.

Stone walls surround me
I'm surprised that you even found me

Nick grunted and screamed hysterically, kicking violently within the small, confined space.

And you don't stand an outside chance
you don't stand an outside chance

It was all Gil could do not to vent his fear and anger in a cry of his own, or slam his fist into the nearest, hardest surface.

But you can try
yeah, keep on trying
Stand an outside chance
come on and show me you love me, baby

I'll get you back, Nicky, I swear to God, I will get you back and make this bastard pay for what he's done to you! Just hold on, baby, hold on until I can get to you.

Gil could only stand there and watch as the song finally ended with…

Stand an outside chance
you got to try, love ...

* * * *

Don't panic. You've faced down psychopaths and terrorists and serial killers. Just do not panic.

Of course, it didn't matter what Gil told himself. The first meeting with Nick's parents was nerve-wracking on far too many levels to be believed. He nodded to them as he entered the conference room and Catherine made the introductions.

"Judge Stokes, Mrs. Stokes, Gil Grissom."

Gil shook the other man's hand and said, "Your honor. Mrs. Stokes. I'm, uh, sorry that we're meeting under these circumstances.

Getting right to the point, Bill Stokes demanded, "Have you been able to make contact with the animals who took my son?"

Sitting down, grateful that he could do so, Gil let Catherine answer. Even though he wanted to be in charge of this, to show them that he was working hard to get Nick back, Catherine was Nick's direct supervisor and he had to let her handle it.

"No, we haven't yet, but…they should be contacting us in roughly four hours."

Jillian spoke up with, "We were able to rustle up $20,000 cash. Our bank's prepared to
wire another $100,000. Now, we can sell the cars. We can hock the ranch…we can make the number, but it's gonna take at least another day."

Gil looked to Nick's father and began, "Judge Stokes…"

Mrs. Stokes pushes the envelope across the table toward Gil and Catherine and interrupted, "Can we give them…the money we have now, try to buy more time?"

Catherine looked at him and Gil replied, "I don't think that will help."

Nick's father snapped, "There's got to be something we can do."

Catherine told him, "You've already done it by coming here, by showing your support…"

"We're not here to show support," Jillian exclaimed. "We're here to get Nick home."

Join the club, Gil thought tiredly. Out loud, he said, "We're not sure who has your son…or why."

"Well…what the hell do you know?" Judge Stokes demanded.

The helplessness rose up with a vengeance, but Gil kept his voice even as he answered, "Very little."

"Let's just cut to the gist. What proof do you have that my boy's still alive?"

Gil looked at Catherine, ignoring the possessive need to correct the Judge that Nick was his boy. Now was definitely not the time. She nodded and he said, "If you'll come with us? We've got something for you to see."

They brought the parents over to the monitoring station where Nick was displayed, his right arm thrown across his eyes as he waited. The timer on the monitor beeped as it continued to count down with only 04:02:06 left.

Judge and Mrs. Stokes stared silently at the monitor while Gil and Catherine waited nearby. Not surprisingly, Mrs. Stokes' eyes well up with tears as she watched her son. After a long moment, she turned and left, stopping in the hallway to lean against the wall, defeat and despair evident in the posture of her bowed head.

For a long moment after, the Judge continued to watch the monitor, then murmured, "Pancho…What the hell you got yourself into?"

He left the room, walking past Gil and Catherine to the hallway where he put his arms around his wife to comfort her.

* * * *

Sitting at his desk, Gil did his best to keep it together. Everyone was doing everything that they could do. Even Ecklie had surprised him by coming up with a way to pay for the ransom and going off to take it to Undersheriff McKeen. Gil appreciated the gesture, but knew what the man's answer to Ecklie's proposal would be. All Gil could do now was wait, which was the hardest part of his job, but never more so now that Nicky was the victim.

And Jesus, why does everything happen to Nick? he wondered bleakly. First he's almost killed by Amy Hendler, then Nigel Crane, and now this sick bastard has taken him as well.

It had been the luck of the draw, they knew that now, but that didn't matter. Somehow, fate had once again determined that Nick was going to suffer and for what? Why Nick, when he was the sweetest, gentlest person that Gil had ever met in his life?

The downward spiral of his thoughts were interrupted by Catherine, who walked into his office with a large leather bag. She set it on his desk and stated, "I got the money."

Giving her a gimlet stare, he questioned, "From where?"

"Where do you think?"

Right. Where else? he thought darkly. He opened the bag to stacks of cash, which of course was what he'd expected. As desperately as he wanted to accept the money, Gil wasn't sure they he could. "Catherine, if the press finds out about this, it'll look like Sam Braun bribed the lab."

"He's a casino owner. A leader of industry. Never convicted of any crime. And right now, I don't care about the integrity of the lab at the moment. I care about Nick."

All excellent arguments, especially the last one, but he didn't want to lose her when it was entirely possible that he was going to lose Nick. And if something happened, if something went wrong when all was said and done…his stomach twisted violently at the thought. Gil forced himself to say, "Yeah, well, so do I, but nonetheless…"

"Well, you're sitting here like Jack Handy with your deep thoughts, staring at a coffee cup. You got a better plan, I'm all ears."

Looking at the money, Gil sighed and had to agree, "All right. But I make the drop. You're hands off."

"You can't be seen anywhere near this money," Gil stated. "It was given to the lab anonymously. Agreed?"

The Ford that they'd been looking for was parked inside the abandoned looking building that Gil entered. Taking off his sunglasses, Gil put the leather bag on the floor near the door and took out a flashlight to look around the empty building. On one side of the room was a dead dog, which fit with the entrails that had been left.

Gil called out, "Las Vegas Crime Lab."

A disembodied voice ordered, "Through the door."

Picking up the bag again, Gil headed further inside. As he got closer to the dog, he
heard the flies buzzing. Continuing past the dog dishes brought him over to a file box on
the floor, but he walked past it, through the door and into the next room.

A man sat behind the desk, watching something, probably Nick, on a computer monitor. "Pretty quiet outside. Almost sounds like you came alone."

"I've got your money," Gil stated.

The man stood up behind the desk. "Put it down."

Gil put the bag down and the man walked around the desk.

"Slide it over."

Gil kicked the bag to the other side of the room and it stopped a couple of yards from the man.

The kidnapper walked up to the bag and turned on his own flashlight. "You're telling me there's a million dollars in here."

"Along with some cute little booby traps? Which is it, a tracer, a dye pack?"

Gil interrupted with, "Normally, you'd be 100% right, but this time, you're 100% wrong. We want Nick back, no tricks."

The man knelt down and zipped the bag open, looking inside at the $10,000 pack of $100 bills. He chuckled and observed, "This looks real."

Getting worried, Gil confirmed, "It is real. Where is Nick?"

The kidnapper tossed the money back into the bag. "You know, I was under the impression it was against departmental policy to negotiate with terrorists."

"Depends." The flashlight shined on Gil's face, blinding him. "Are you terrified?"

The worry upped a few notches into outright fear, but Gil kept it together and said, "Look, I really don't want to talk to you. Where is my guy?"

That seemed to get the man's attention. "Oh, so…he is 'your guy,' huh?"

"Are you two close?"

Mental alarms were going off like crazy now. "That's none of your business."

"What does Nick Stokes mean to you? How do you feel when you see him in that coffin? Does your soul die every time you push that button? How do you feel, knowing that there's nothing you can do to get him out of that hell? Helpless…useless…impotent?"

God no, don't do this, Gil thought bleakly. Please don't let this be personal.

"Good. Welcome to my world."

The kidnapper unbuttoned his jacket to reveal the two red bars of explosives hooked up around his waist, his thumb now over a detonator. "Uh, if I were you, I'd back up a little."

Gil took a couple of steps back, then, seeing something in the other man's face, turned and ran for it. The explosion was almost instantaneous and threw him the rest of the way out of the building. He slammed down hard on the ground, the wind knocked out of him, and didn't move for a long moment, trying to draw in a breath. When he finally managed to do so, he sat up and looked at the money fluttering through the air in the empty building behind him.

Oh God, no, Nicky, Gil thought in despair.

There was nothing left. Everything they had was pinned on finding the kidnapper and making him talk and now…nothing.

Taking his stint in front of the computer monitor, Warrick picked up his cup and took a drink. Nick's light went off and Warrick reached for the mouse to turn it back on. He watched his trapped friend reach into his pocket to take out a pack of gum. Pulling out a stick and getting rid of the wrapper, Nick started chewing on it. Watching as the other man continued chewing on it for a few seconds, then put part of it in his right ear. The rest was pushed into his left ear.

Warrick's stomach dropped in instinctive fear as he asked, "What are you doing, Nicky?"

Nick took out the gun and cocked it.

Warrick jumped to his feet, eyes glued to the monitor. "What are you doing, Nicky?"

Nick rested the gun on his chest, the muzzle pointed near his own head before he turned to the side.

Oh God, no, please…

"Don't do it, Nicky!"

Warrick jumped back when the monitor went completely black, the words ripped from him in a pained, furious shout… "You son of a bitch!"

There was absolutely nothing on the screen and Warrick couldn't even breathe until the green light of a glow stick broke on and he saw Nick moving inside the box. He laughed, giddy with relief. "Oh! You're still alive."

After taking a few moments to calm down, heart pounding and stomach roiling, Warrick called over to Sara and asked, "Can you come watch? I need a break."

Leaving, Warrick headed for the relative privacy of the locker room. He opened his locker to look inside, thinking maybe that a change of clothes would help, but suddenly, he just stopped. Too much was going on in his head and his heart for him to even really come to grips with any of it. He slammed the locker door shut and sat on the bench.

Softly, to God, he said, "No." and continued in thought…you can't take him from me. Not when I just got him back. I don't care what he and Gil get up to, okay? Is that the lesson? I love him, I just want him back, please. Please don't take him from me.

Feeling more alone than if he was in the middle of a desert, Warrick dropped his head into his hands and prayed wordlessly to get Nick back safely.

Sitting in the back of the monitoring room, while Sara and Archie watched from the main table, Gil watched his lover through an extra feed to his laptop. There was just enough light for him to read Nick's lips as the young man started speaking into the tape recorder.

"Mom…Cisco…well, this is a lousy way to say good-bye, but it's all I've got. I love you. You raised me right…and I'm going to miss you." Nick paused to swallow. "As for the rest of you guys, I know you did the best you could to find me."

Gil's mouth moved along with Nick's as the young man continued speaking.

"Grissom…Gil…I just, I wanted to say how much I, I felt, it was such an honor and a privilege to work with you. You can't know how, how happy it made me, to be with you. And I am so sorry to disappoint you, I never wanted to, but I know I did."

Heart breaking, Gil countered quietly, "No, you never did, Nick."

Suddenly, Nick looked down at his feet and just lost it. The tape recorder fell from his hand, down to near his head.

Sara called out, "He's going into convulsions. He's losing it!"

Even knowing that Sara was looking to him, Gil couldn't take his eyes from the monitor where Nick was in a full-blown panic attack. But why? There didn't seem to be any reason for it when he'd just calmly been talking into the tape recorder. The air wouldn't have stopped that suddenly.

"What's going on?" Sara asked.

But Gil had no idea and agreed, "What is…?"

Looking closer, he saw movement. "Wait a minute."

He enhanced the view on the live-feed, zooming the camera's focus on the wall near Nick's head before he saw what the problem was: ants on the side of the glass coffin.

"Ants," Gil stated. Then, as the true implications of what was going on echoed through him, he continued, horrified, "My God, he's being eaten alive."

Don't move. Just stay calm and don't move. It feels like they're going to tear open your skin, but they won't. The less you move, the less agitated they become and the less they bite. Just stay calm and don't move.

The words repeated through Nick's head as he kept his eyes shut and did his best not to breathe. Breathing meant that he had to open his mouth, because his nose was sealed shut by the gloves, and opening his mouth meant that some of the little fuckers got in and he wound up eating them. He didn't like the little bastards when Gil had offered their cousins covered in chocolate and he damn fucking sure didn't like them still moving.

It was Gil's voice that had talked him through what to do. A memory of being in bed one night when Nick had asked what Gil's worst experience in the insect world had been.

"Fire ants," Gil had answered without hesitation. "I was out with a bunch of other students when I was in college and one of them disturbed a mound. They moved fast and without mercy, swarming over the poor soul who'd fallen literally onto their home. He was screaming and thrashing around, trying to get them off, but that just made them bite harder. Nothing we did calmed him down, of course. It wasn't until we could drag him away and hose him off that he stopped screaming."

Nick had shuddered and buried his face against his lover's chest. "Man, remind me never to go playing near a fire ant hill."

Gil had kissed his temple and said, "If, somehow, you ever find yourself in that kind of untenable situation, which I pray never happens, just lie still. Don't move, don't make noise, and plug up all the openings to your body as best you can, especially your nose and ears. The less you move, the less they bite. Let someone get to you and get them off of you."

And now he found himself in that untenable situation and was doing what he'd been told to do. Gil had said it was true, and it was. As soon as he'd stopped freaking out after the initial infestation, the biting had died down a little. All he could do now was wait and pray.

A long line of police cars drove down the long stretch of highway with lights flashing and sirens blaring. The lead car pulled off the road to the right and, inside his own car, Gil followed. His body was practically rigid with the need to go faster, to get to Nick immediately. It was so close to the deadline, so damn close, that they could miss it by a matter of minutes. Nick could suffocate while they were on the grounds, looking for him.

Nausea rose at the thought and he snarled savagely to himself… He's going to be fine. We're almost there now. He'll be home before you know it.

Behind him, a long line of even more police cars and other emergency personnel vehicles followed. Gil climbed out of the truck and strode over to where the owner of the nursery waited, demanding, "You said on the phone you had a fire ant mound. Where is it?"

"People usually prefer to stay away from it," the owner replied, but obligingly moved to show them where it was.

Once there, Gil turned to the rest of his team and said, "All right, look. Fan out. Look for loose soil. Anything that might've been dug up recently.

As everyone moved away, Jim walked up to Gil and pointed out, "That's the whole place."

Picking up on how not-helpful that was, Jim also moved away to start looking. It was only a few minutes later that Gil heard Catherine shout, "He-e-ey! I'm picking up the web cam transmitter."

Gil starts to run towards where her voice had come from.

Seconds later, she shouted again, "This is it! I found it! It's here!"

Everyone ran up to Catherine, who stood beside a vent pipe in the ground, and she shouted again, "I found it! This is it!"

Gil wanted to push her aside, but Catherine leaned in close to the vent pipe and shouted, "Nick! Nick, we're here. Hang on! Nicky!"

Warrick and other officers dug quickly into the area surrounding the vent pipe. Gil and the rest of the team stood off to the side, watching, waiting. He wanted to be down there, but too much weight and the already damaged coffin could break and suffocate Nick before they got to him. Gil heard Warrick's watch beep and knew with absolute, horrifying certainty that time had just run out.

Warrick glanced back at Catherine, then went back to digging. Only a second later, he connected something solid and shouted, "I hit something!"

Catherine shouted into the pipe, "We got you, Nicky!"

Warrick put the shovel aside and started clearing off the dirt with both hands. He quickly brushed the dirt from the edges of the coffin, trying to clear it. Everyone could hear Nick's screams, even as weak as they were.

Warrick shouted, "Hey!"

The outside light reflected off of Nick's face, but Nick's eyes were shut tight, just as they should have been. Warrick tried again, clearing off more and more dirt with, "Hey! We got you, man! Hey, Nicky!"

"Nicky! Yeah. Hey, hold on there."

Warrick finally got a good look at Nick and found the gun pressed to Nick's chin. "Hey, put that down. Put that down!"

Gil leaned in for a better view, almost losing it himself when he saw the muzzle of the barrel right up under Nick's throat.

Nick shook uncontrollably inside, finger still on the trigger.

"Put that down. We got you. We're gonna get you out of here. Hang in there. Oh, my God. We need that fire extinguisher! Give me that fire extinguisher!"

Gil started to go for it, cursing himself for not thinking of that first, but Greg beat him to it. There was a commotion as people moved aside to let the young CSI back through. Warrick wedged his shovel under the cover and lifted it up a crack as Greg scrambled down into the hole with the fire extinguisher.

Doing the only thing he could, Gil ordered, "Short bursts, Greg. Don't suffocate him!"

Greg shot a couple of bursts from the fire extinguisher into the coffin.

"Hang on, buddy. Hang on. Almost had him," Warrick soothed loudly, before motioning for the others to help clear off more of the coffin cover.

Sara shouted for the paramedics and Gil listened with everyone else as Warrick continued to talk to Nick.

"Hang on. Hang on. We'll kill those ants, okay? You listen to me."

The cover was lifted again and Greg shot more CO2 inside. Gil gave Catherine an annoyed look when her phone rang and she answered, even moving away to talk to whoever was on the other end. Gil turned his attention back to the coffin where Nick was still visibly shaking. The workers cleared most of the dirt off and were almost ready to open it, thank God. Gil needed to get his arms around Nick so badly that his hands were clenched into fists so he didn't just rip the cover off with his bare hands.

Warrick chanted, "One, two, three…"

"Everyone out of the hole! That box is ready to explode!" Catherine suddenly shouted from behind, running back to the group.

Jim exclaimed, "Are you kidding?"

"Get out of there now!"

Warrick didn't move from his spot, snarling, "I'm not leaving without Nick!"

"There are charges under the box!" Catherine half-implored, half-ordered.

Thoughts whirling a mile a minute, thinking up and discarding various scenarios as quickly as possible, Gil's attention was finally caught by a nearby backhoe.

"I'm not leaving here without him," Warrick replied stubbornly.

An idea struck and Gil stepped forward, ordering, "Warrick, Catherine's right. Get out of the hole now. I know what we're gonna do. Just trust me."

For a long moment, Warrick just looked at Gil. Maybe he was thinking about everything that had happened between them over the last few months, maybe he was trying to remember that at one point, he had trusted Gil. Finally, much too slowly, Warrick released his hold on the coffin. He looked down at Nick who screamed and pounded weakly on the cover when Warrick climbed out of the hole.

Not wasting any more time, Gil shouted, "We need 200 pounds of dirt over here right now, and we're gonna use that backhoe to get it."

As the group of officers ran to the backhoe to get it started, Gil jumped into the hole where Nick was screaming and hitting the coffin cover again. Landing on it, Gil brushed the dirt away so he could see Nick clearly. "Nick!"

Nick looked in Gil's direction, but didn't really respond.

Gil tried again. "Can you hear me?"

Nick had succumbed to the panic, though, and definitely wasn't listening. Gil could only watch as Nick continued to punch at the box cover with his bare hands. Inspiration struck again and Gil exclaimed loudly, "Pancho!"

Gil used the moment to order, "Listen to me."

He put his right hand flat on the box cover. "Put your hand on my hand."

After a brief hesitation, Nick put his hand flat on the glass, directly under Gil's.

Relieved, Gil praised him, "Good. Now listen. There may be explosives under the box. They're
probably set on pressure switches."

Nick moaned as his head fell back, terror clouding what little Gil could see of his face.

"We need to equalize your body weight before we can pull you out, okay?"

There was no response as Nick breathed heavily inside the box, using up the last of his oxygen.

Forcing himself to stay calm and authoritative, Gil commanded, "Pancho, nod your head if you understand me."

Nick slowly nodded.

Relieved that Nick was still mostly in control of himself, Gil stood up and yelled to the officers, "Okay, we're gonna use the dirt from the backhoe to equalize his weight. I need a rope and a caribiner."

Kneeling back on the coffin to talk with Nick, Gil returned his hand to the glass over Nick's hand. Keeping his voice strong, he explained, "All right, Pancho, we're gonna open the lid and get you out, but I need you to stay lying down. Okay? Or else you'll blow us all up. You understand that?"

For the first time, real words come from Nick's mouth as he agreed, "Yeah, yeah."

"Do you promise?" Gil pressed.

Nick nodded as the backhoe engine got louder on approach.

Knowing how close to the edge Nick was, Gil commanded, "Pancho, say, 'I promise.'"

Nick started crying in earnest then, but managed to get out, "I promise."

Unfortunately, that would have to do. There was no way to make sure that Nick didn't move, so Gil would have to trust that he wouldn't. In the background, Gil heard Catherine shout, "Bring it over. This way!" but he was too close to Nick to look at her. He wanted to just yank Nick out as fast as he could, but that was impossible. As it was, they only had one shot to get the other man out of his deathtrap.

Gil glanced over at the machine and crew when they arrived and then back at the coffin. He reminded Nick sternly, "Don't move."

It only took another few seconds for Gil and Warrick top open the cover, prying it off and tossing it aside. Nick sobbed as his hand reached out blindly, grasping Gil's arm as he reached into the coffin to put his own on Nick's chest.

Warrick grabbed hold as well, Nick gripping tight to the black man's arm, and said softly, "I got you. I got you. Lay still. Lay still. It's okay. It's okay."

After the first wave of panic calmed, Nick gasped, "Okay, okay."

Gil waited for Nick to look at him and nod before shouting, "All right, bring that over."

The backhoe, filled with dirt, was driven over to the hole. Gil latched the hook he was given around Nick's belt buckle, tugging it to make sure it wouldn't let go. Such a fragile thread, considering. He climbed out of the hole and took a strong grip on the rope. Others lined up behind him, everyone ready to yank Nick out of danger on command.

Once they were all settled, Gil called out, "Okay, Pancho. I want you to close your eyes and hold your breath."

Nick nodded and did as he was told.

Gil shouted to the driver, "Now!"

The backhoe dropped all the dirt into the hole, filling it completely. Gil waited only a hair's breath to shout, "Ready? Go!"

Everyone tugged as hard as they could, the combined strength jerking Nick right out of the loose dirt to fly through the air, landing hard several feet away. Not even a second later, the coffin exploded, shooting dirt straight up into the night sky. The force knocked Gil right off his feet, hitting the ground hard enough to restart the dull throb of his own injuries.

By the time Gil was upright again, Warrick was at Nick's side. He was twitching and shaking on the ground, his eyes closed. He was unconscious, but alive, and that was all that mattered. Staggering over to them, Gil dropped to his knees and took Nick's hand, automatically feeling the thready pulse with his fingers.

"Nicky? Can you hear me?" Gil asked, wanting to pull his lover into his arms, but knowing better. Any number of internal or external injuries could be present and moving the other man without medical advice was a bad idea. "Nicky, please, answer me."

There was nothing, not even when the medics arrived and took over, carefully examining Nick for neck and back injuries. They rolled him carefully onto a backboard and strapped him in before continuing the exam. Gil couldn't find the strength to get to his feet, everything exhausted from trying to get to Nick, and watched from ground level.

It wasn't until he was lifted onto the gurney that Nick came around, groaning, eyes fluttering open. "Gil?"

Relieved, Gil retook Nick's hand and said, "I'm right here, Nicky. Everything's okay now, you're safe. It's all over."

Nick's words trailed off, but his hand tightened on Gil's, telling him what his lover was too scared to ask. Gil brought Nick's hand up to his chest and said, "He's dead, Nicky. No one's going to hurt you now, you're really safe."

Gil pulled the bracelet out from his pocket and pressed it onto Nick's hand, which closed fast around the metal. Nick started crying again, silently this time.

"Oh Nicky, it's okay, I promise," Gil soothed, combing his fingers through Nick's hair and wiping at the dirt on his face. "Your parents are here. I'll make sure they get brought to your hospital. You'll be able to see them in no time."

Nick swallowed convulsively, the tears gaining strength. "Mom and Dad? They're here?"

"Time for us to get him to the hospital," one of the EMTs interrupted, tucking a blanket around Nick and then strapping him in.

Gil stood up, keeping his hand on Nick's wrist the same way that Warrick kept his on Nick's chest as they approached the ambulance. Once there, Gil let go of his lover even though he ached to be with him all the way to the hospital. There was too much to be done and Gil wanted to make sure that nothing stood in the way of him taking off time with Nick when he was recovering.

Warrick and Catherine climbed up into the ambulance, neither of them willing to be torn from Nick's side. He saw Nick reach out and Warrick took the shaking hand in a firm grip, which sent a pang through Gil.

When the ambulance drove away, everyone stared after it, numb and relieved to varying degrees. Arrayed around him were Ecklie, Sara, Jim, and Greg, but Gil had never felt more alone in his life. He couldn't stop the forlorn words, "I want my guys back," from escaping, because he did. He wanted Nick where he could see him at all times. And he wanted Warrick available, too. Not just to support Nick, but because Gil and Warrick were friends in their own right; or could be again, now that the hurdle of Nick and Gil was hopefully out of the way.

Ecklie looked at him, but didn't comment.

Nick woke to a tight chest, difficulty breathing, and an insane urge to scratch. His entire body felt like it was on fire and if he could only scratch or rub somewhere, it would give him extremely needed relief. Groaning, he shifted only to discover that he couldn't. Panic swamped him and Nick thrashed against the coffin, crying and straining to get free.

He vaguely heard Warrick exclaim, "Nick! Nick, it's okay, take it easy, man! You're all right!"

It wasn't real. He knew it wasn't real. He was stuck in that fucking box and hallucinating from anoxia or the venom, maybe even both. He screamed for the only one who could get to him, the only one who would find him... "Gil! Gil! Where are you!? Gil!"

Something crashed loudly and a second later, strong hands gripped his face. Thumbs pried open his eyelids so that he could see Gil standing over him. Panting and sobbing, Nick opened his eyes for real to take in the exhausted, scratched-up, and dirty face of his lover. It looked like Gil had aged ten years overnight.

"Look at me, Nicky, feel me, I'm real," Gil stated firmly. "You are not in the coffin, you're in the hospital."

Drawing in harsh breaths, feeling like his heart was going to pound right out of his chest, Nick gasped, "Gil?"

It was close-mouthed, but hard and grounding, exactly what Nick needed. When Gil pulled back, Nick begged, "Take them off, please, please take them off! I'll be good, I promise!"

Gil pressed his lips to Nick's forehead before saying, "Oh Nicky, it's nothing to do with that, we just didn't want you to hurt yourself while you were out of it."

He moved back and started pulling off the wrist restraints. Nick looked down when someone touched his foot and found Warrick working on the ankle restraints. The black man smiled encouragingly when their eyes met, and his hands didn't stop their work. Once he was free, Nick immediately held out his arms to Gil, who pulled him close, carefully avoiding the IV attached to Nick's arm. Burrowed against his lover's broad chest, Nick breathed in the soured, sweat-salted, very real scent, clutching his shirt.

"You're okay now, Nicky, you're all right," Gil murmured into his ear, arms tight around him.

It was a long time before the shaking stopped and he could breathe more normally, his heart down to an almost regular rate. Finally, he asked, "Why's my chest hurt?"

"You had a delayed reaction to the venom on the way in and they had to get your heart going again," Gil explained. "Now you're on IV antibiotics and antihistamines."

Fingers brushing through Nick's hair in a soothing gesture, Gil answered, "You woke up before, but you were hallucinating. Tore the IVs right out and tried to run away. Just wanted to make sure you stayed put, Nicky."

A warm chuckle echoed in his ear and Gil pointed out, "I'm already pretty ripe, Nicky, you might want to let me take a shower some time soon."

But Nick shook his head and pressed his face against the patch of bare skin just above the first button. There was a long silence where Gil just petted him, pressing soft kisses to the top of his head and his face, what part of it wasn't buried against Gil.

"You think you can let go enough to let your folks get in a hug or two?" Gil murmured. Nuzzling at his temple, he continued, "No pressure, baby boy, hold on as long as you want."

Knowing that he really did have to let go at some point, Nick sighed and nodded. "Just, don't go anywhere."

Biting his lip, Nick finally released the death grip he had on Gil's shirt and pulled back, wincing as ribs scraped together. "Ow. What else is wrong with me?"

Gil kept a firm grip on his hand as he answered, "Three cracked ribs from your trapeze-less flying through the air, as well as a mild concussion and a sprained ankle from landing wrong. You'll be on antibiotics for a few weeks since these bites tend to get easily infected, and you absolutely can't scratch them or they'll definitely become infected."

Which completely reminded him of the fire over his skin, causing him to groan. "Perfect. Thanks for mentioning the pink elephant."

Nick looked over at the door where his parents now stood. Or maybe they'd been standing there the whole time, waiting for him to stop freaking out and notice them. His hand tightened on Gil's as he wondered just what he'd blabbed during his previous hallucination, and to whom. What could he say to them? 'Thanks for coming?' Shaking off the uncertainty as best he could, Nick greeted, "Um, hey, Mom, Dad."

Gil stepped aside, causing Nick to flinch as his parents walked over to the bed. Their hands remained clasped, though, and Nick held tight to it as his mom and dad both gave him their own looks of hesitation. It wasn't often parents found out their son was not only gay but in a permanent relationship with a man almost twenty years older, let alone finding it out because he'd been kidnapped.

"Oh hell!" his mother exclaimed before grabbing Nick up in a tight hug. "Nick, honey, we were so scared for you!"

Sighing in relief, Nick slid his free hand around her waist and hugged her back. She felt so tiny and frail to him, her perfume muted but the same scent that he'd grown up with, the smells of safety and love to him. The tears started up again, even though he was already sick of them, and he held tighter, both to her and Gil, his breath hitching.

When she finally pulled back, it was with a tender kiss to his forehead and her elegant fingers combing through his hair as she repeated, "I am so glad to see you safe and sound, honey, I was so scared."

"Gil found me. I knew he would," Nick said, glancing at his lover. He was startled to find moisture in the blue eyes staring back at him, but Gil just smiled without speaking.

His father stepped forward and issued his own, tight hug, his hand cupping the back of Nick's head as a kiss was pressed to the top of it. "You're a sight for sore eyes, Pancho. Don't you ever do that again."

"Excuse me, but I'm afraid you're all going to have to leave. Mr. Stokes needs his rest."

Nodding, his father confirmed, "First thing. And we're here for as long as you need us."

"Thanks, I...I really don't know what to say except, I love you guys," Nick replied, struggling not to yawn.

Nick smiled as they left the room, then looked to Warrick, who was still standing at the foot of the bed. His smile shifted into a grin and he demanded, "What're you doin' down there, man? C'mere."

Warrick came up along the other side of the bed, nearest the wall, and engulfed Nick in strong arms. Nick held tight with his free hand, happy that things were definitely back to okay with them. "Jesus, Nick, I thought we'd lost you for good this time."

"Not yet," Nick assured him, absently rubbing the hand that was in Gil's on his blanket.

Pulling back, Warrick said fiercely, "Not ever! Don't even think like that, you got me?"

The emotion surprised Nick, even as it pleased him. Nick nodded and promised, "Not ever. Thanks, 'Rick, for helping to find me."

When he left, it was just Gil who remained and Nick was quick to tell the expectant nurse, "He's not going anywhere. Not unless you want me walking out of here with him. Um, ma'am."

"Easy, Tiger, I wasn't going to kick him out," the smiling black woman said. She was tall and slender with short hair and introduced herself, "I'm Dr. Naomi Erisa and I'll be your host for the next forty-eight to seventy-two hours, depending on how well you respond to treatment."

Nick flushed in embarrassment and looked to Gil, but his lover only chuckled at his discomfiture. "Sorry about that, ma'am, I'm just...it's been a rough couple of days."

Appreciating that she hadn't tried to displace Gil, Nick sat quietly through the exam and did his best not to scratch or squirm. By the time she was done, he asked plaintively, "Don't you guys have any calamine lotion or something? I'm goin' nuts!"

"Well, you're out of danger of everything but infection right now, so I'll have the nurses increase the antihistamines. I'm assuming we can trust you not to scratch?" Dr. Erisa questioned.

Nodding, not wanting to be tied up again, Nick agreed hastily, "I won't, I promise."

Gil's hand stroked slowly over his hair, soothing in its solidity, and Nick relaxed under his touch.

She smiled and said, "Good. Well, I'll leave the two of you to get some rest. And Mr. Grissom?"

Startled, Nick looked at Gil and asked anxiously, "Are you hurt? What happened to you? Should you sit down? Sit down, here, sit here."

Gil sat on the edge of Nick's bed and settled his free hand over Nick's collarbone in a steadying fashion. "Nick, take it easy, I'm not hurt, I promise."

"Easy, baby boy, you're safe now," Gil said, stroking firmly over his chest. "I'm with you and nothing's going to take you from me, now or ever. Lay back now, I want you to do something for me."

Nick laid on the pillows, then gazed expectantly at Gil. A gasp of pleasure escaped him when Gil produced his blanket and tucked it beside Nick's head, giving him the softness to his cheek and throat. Sighing happily, Nick brought Gil's hand up to kiss and whispered gratefully, "Thank you."

"My pleasure," Gil murmured against Nick's mouth before kissing him slowly, hungrily.

He tried to enjoy it, desperately wanted to, but the itchiness really was driving him crazy and he groaned, breaking off to thump his head against the pillows and complain, "It itches!"

"Okay. The nurse is going to be here in a few minutes to up the dose but in the meantime, close your eyes."

"Close your eyes and yes, a milk bath. It's warm, but not hot. It's soothing and calm, the natural properties drawing the itch from your skin. That's it, my boy, slow and easy breaths, very good, Nicky. Relax and just listen to my voice. I'm here with you now and you're safe in the hospital. You've got all the people who love you in the world ready to see you whenever you want or need to see them. And you've got me here, loving you, holding you, taking care of you. Good boy, very good, relax and drift in that bath, let the water just soothe your skin. That's right."

Exhaustion kept making him yawn, as much as he struggled not to fall asleep, as did the warm, even tones of Gil's voice. The praise and love was so strong and clear that it was like an additional blanket protecting him.

When Nick had screamed for him, Gil had literally crashed through the door into the hospital room, not even noticing that he'd broken the plaster with the doorknob, he'd used such force. Then he'd been too busy calming Nick down and holding him, which had honestly been as much for his own reassurance as Nick's. After that, of course, had been Nick's parents and Warrick and Dr. Erisa to look Nick over. Lastly, Gil had had to soothe Nick into sleep so that the remainder of the venom in his system wouldn't keep him awake, at least until the antihistamine level had been increased.

Now, though…Gil stared at the dent in the wall where the doorknob had slammed and wondered if it would be added to the hospital bill. Stretched out on the bed beside Nick's, Gil continued to hold Nick's hand as his own rest eluded him. He couldn't stop going over the hard words exchanged with Nick's father in the hall just outside this hospital room. The other man had been less than thrilled to find out that they were romantically involved, to put it mildly. Or perhaps it wasn't simply that they were involved, but that Nick had called for his Daddy while hallucinating and flinched away from his father when Judge Stokes had tried to comfort him.

Gil sighed and wondered just how difficult that was going to make their lives. Given Nick's emotional state, both before and after the kidnapping, he was fairly sure that Judge Stokes could somehow find a way to take Nick from him. Maybe even have him institutionalized, for his own good, of course. His only real hope had been the kindness in Jillian Stokes' eyes, even if there had been a hint of confusion in them. Gil was praying that her love for her son would outweigh the Judge's animosity and disgust for his relationship with Gil.

The only blessing in the matter was that no one from work had been around to witness the hallucination or what Nick had called Gil. What trust he'd regained with Warrick and Catherine would surely have been lost, if they'd been present.

Gil jumped a little at Dr. Erisa's comment and half-smiled at her. "I'm afraid there's a little too much going on in my head for sleep to get a foot in the door."

But Gil had to shake his head. "I have to be alert when Nick wakes up again, or there could be trouble."

Dr. Erisa returned the smile and told him, "You have to rest, too, Mr. Grissom. If you're going to be of any use to Nick, then you have to be coherent. I'll tell you what. How about I give you a light sedative that will knock you out only long enough for your natural need to sleep to kick in?"

Gil looked at Nick, knowing that she was right. He had to be at his best to keep taking care of him and to do that, he needed to sleep. Sighing, he nodded and agreed, "All right. Thank you, Doctor."

Dr. Erisa poured some water into one of the plastic cups and held it out to him, along with two pills.

He took the pills and washed them down with the water. "True. Nick's well-being trumps everything."

Dr. Erisa smiled and ordered, "Get some sleep, Mr. Grissom. The world will still be here when you wake up."

Turning back onto his side, pulling the pillow up to support his head, Gil yawned and covered his other hand over Nick's as well. The connection was as important to him, as it was to Nick.

Gil woke to the sensation of being watched and, for a long moment, didn't move. When he felt awake enough to potentially deal with Judge Stokes, Gil opened his eyes and looked around. Thankfully, he discovered that it was Nick watching him, not the elder Stokes, and Gil smiled. "Morning."

Bringing Nick's hand up so he could kiss it, Gil replied, "I feel better. How about you?"

"I think they finally gave me the good drugs, because I feel like I've just got a touch of poison ivy," Nick answered.

Sitting up with a groan, he was definitely regretting the second explosion now, Gil rubbed at his neck and asked, "How are you doing, Nicky, really?"

Nick thought about it for a moment, then said, "Sore. Itchy. Still having a little tightness in my chest, but not as bad as when I woke up before. In other words, I'll live. Thanks to you."

Gil hopped off the bed to sit on Nick's as he corrected, "Thanks to everyone. I wasn't the only one looking for you, Nicky."

The thought of the ant he'd crushed and then derived a location from crossed his mind, but Gil brushed it off and repeated, "Team effort, Nicky."

Smiling, Nick tugged on Gil's hand to bring him close as he said, "I'll be sure and thank everyone else later. As for you…can I give you a kiss, Daddy?"

Gil groaned, heat surging through him at the coy question. He took Nick's mouth in a hungry kiss much like the night before, except this time, Nick reciprocated. Tongue danced against tongue and Nick's mouth immediately opened to his as Gil devoured it. Nick whimpered beneath him, one of his hands twisting in Gil's shirt, and arched closer.

Instantly breaking off the kiss, Gil tried not to laugh at the indignant expression on the nurse's face. Clearing his throat, he apologized, "Sorry. I guess we got a little carried away."

"Uh huh," she replied, unconvinced. "Try not to forget that Mr. Stokes is being monitored and a sudden spike of activity like that tends to make us cranky when there's no emergency behind it."

Nick chortled and exclaimed, "Man! If you could see your face! It's like we got busted by my parents!"

Gil snorted, tweaking Nick's nose. "You know, someone is cruising for a spanking when we get home."

"That's a little too much information, you know," Catherine announced, surprising them.

Moving discretely out of the way so Catherine could give Nick a big hug, Gil would have gotten off the bed altogether, but Nick's hand gripped his thigh, keeping him there.

When she pulled back, Catherine said, "You look so good, Nick! I wish I could've been here when you woke up, but I had to get home to Lindsey."

"No, of course, Cath, I totally understand," Nick assured her. "How's she doing?"

"Nick, do you mind if I leave you in Catherine's hands while I take a shower and change?"

To Nick, Gil said, "I won't be gone more than an hour and a half, tops. I'm going to go home, shower, change, and come right back."

Seeing the understanding and promise there, Gil nodded and leaned in to kiss Nick's forehead. "Be good. I'll see you in ninety minutes."

"So really Nicky, how do you feel?" Catherine asked, pulling a chair over to the bed after Gil had left. "You look better."

Nick half-smiled and answered, "Hard not to look better than being trapped in a, a coffin for that long."

Seeming uncomfortable, Nick said, "Well, I'm not at the top of my game, but I don't feel as bad as I think I should. Not, you know, physically."

Physically would be the easiest to get over, Catherine knew for a fact. Nick had been through so much in his life that it was amazing that he was so kind and wonderful as he was. "We're here for you, for the rest of it. If you need anything, then you only have to give a yell."

"Lindsey wanted to come by this morning, but I thought it would be a little much for you."

"I will," Catherine promised. "You know, I want to go on the record as saying that I acted like a total bitch before."

Catherine's lips quirked into a brief grin and she clarified, "About Gil. You should've seen him, Nick. He would've put a bulldog to shame. I can't remember ever seeing him so focused, so intense, so…determined…about getting you back."

Snorting, Catherine said, "He wouldn't, would he? But I'll tell you something, he went to meet the kidnapper alone. No backup, no weapons, nothing. Jim just about blew a gasket when Gil laid down the law on that one."

Nick jerked upright, then hissed in pain, holding his side. "He went to meet the kidnapper? What happened? Gil said he was dead, but, if he didn't have any weapons then…what?"

Catherine just about wanted to hit herself for bringing it up, but felt Nick deserved the truth of what Gil had gone through to get him back. After a brief hesitation, she told him, "The kidnapper blew himself up without giving us any information about you at all. Gil barely made it out. Point in fact, he flew the last several feet out of the building."

Paling through the explanation, it took Nick a few minutes to regain his composure and ask, "But he's all right?"

Nodding, Catherine said, "Took a jolt to the spine, cuts and scrapes from flying glass and gravel, but otherwise fine."

Catherine squeezed his hand. "I didn't mean to scare you, Nick, I just wanted to say that I know how wrong I was now. I wish to God you hadn't gone through something so terrible for me to realize it, but I do."

Nick returned the hand-squeeze and replied, "Thanks, Catherine, I appreciate that. And thanks for telling me what happened. I have the feeling Gil never would've."

"Probably not," she agreed, smiling. "The man couldn't toot his own horn if someone taped it to his mouth."

Nick chuckled and Catherine was relieved to see some of the stress fade from his expression. It wasn't much, really, but maybe it was a start. Nick and Gil definitely didn't need to worry about problems at work anymore.

To Nick's surprise, he dozed off partway through Catherine's visit. One minute he was listening to her talk about Lindsey's new fascination with getting a belly ring and the next his mother's unmistakably beautiful voice hummed softly beside him. Yawning, he opened his eyes to find her sitting in the chair that Catherine had vacated for her and smiled. She was reading a large hardcover, legs crossed properly, and resting her other hand on Nick's thigh.

She looked up from the book, a smile breaking over her face, and said, "Hey back, honey! How are you feeling?"

Resigning himself to being asked that a lot, Nick replied, "Good, thanks. Not as itchy. Where's Dad?"

The smile faded a little and she asked, "So, how long have you and Mr. Grissom been…seeing one another?"

So much for feeling better, Nick thought with a sigh. "Actually, about a year. I moved in three months ago."

"I was wondering why you would move again so soon," she said with her own sigh. "Nick, why didn't you just tell us? Did we ever make you feel like you couldn't come to us with something like this?"

"With what? Dating my ex-boss and then shackin' up with him? Mom, come on!" Nick exclaimed.

Holding a cup of coffee in each hand, his father came the rest of the way into the room and handed one off to his wife.

"It's all right, honey," she assured him, setting her coffee on the tray-table. "Bill, you relax a little, too. This isn't going to be something you can just run roughshod over Nick about."

Nick saw how happy that statement made his father, not at all, and fervently wished for Gil not to show up until long after the conversation was over. A quick glance at the clock showed that he was due back any time, however, so Nick could only keep his fingers crossed.

"Nick, I really don't think that this is a healthy relationship for you to be in," his mother continued.

Taking a fortifying breath, wishing that it was his father who'd taken the offensive, Nick answered as calmly as he could, "It's more than healthy, Mom, it's supportive and loving and everything that I could ever want."

His father jumped on the bandwagon with, "He's almost twice your age, Nick. I could've gone to school with the man! And, when you were hallucinating, you, well you called him…"

"Oh God. Kill me now," Nick groaned, flopping back onto the pillows. Ignoring the flash of pain in his ribs, Nick pulled a pillow over his face and just hid there for a few seconds. So he had gone and spilled the beans while out of it. Praying that no one from work had been around, Nick pushed aside the pillow and sat back up, taking his parents by surprise, from their expressions. "Look. I don't ask you guys about your sex life and seriously, I really, really don't want to know. That's private and between you two. What Gil and I have together is just as private. I know it seems, well, weird I guess, but he's the one I want. I love him and that's really all there is to it."

They looked equally as surprised by his words and his father opened his mouth to speak when Gil said, unexpectedly, "And I love your son just as deeply as the two of you love each other."

Nick's eyes flashed behind his father to find Gil standing in the doorway. He wondered briefly if no one ever knocked any more, but only smiled in welcome to his lover. Gil walked around the elder Stokes and stopped at Nick's side, taking his hand.

It was Nick's mother who spoke first, not unexpectedly, to say, "We can't really give our blessing to the two of you, I'm sorry Nick, truly, but we won't make trouble for you, either."

Which was both more and less than he'd expected. Nick half-smiled and replied, "Well, I hope you guys change your mind, because Gil's not going anywhere."

There was a silent tableau for a long moment, then she stood and kissed his cheek before saying, "I love you, Nick. If you need anything or if you want to come home, you just pick up the phone, okay?"

"Good luck, Pancho. I love you, too," his father said, kissing his forehead and gripping his shoulder quickly.

"Nick? Nicky, can you lighten up a little before you break my hand?" Gil requested.

Nick instantly released his lover's hand, turning his gaze to Gil and apologizing, "I'm sorry, Gil, I didn't mean to…"

"Hey, it's all right," Gil assured him, sitting on the bed. "It's been a very rough couple of days for you, you're allowed to be stressed."

Leaning into the sideways embrace, Nick snuggled there for a long time, eyes closed as he just breathed in Gil's freshly washed scent. When he pulled back, Nick poked Gil hard in the sternum with two of his fingers.

"The next time you decide to play 'meet-the-psycho,' you damn well sure better have backup."

"Yeah, that," Nick agreed. "You have a death wish or something that I need to know about?"

Cupping his face, Gil said simply, "If you're in danger and it's the only way to get you out safe."

Three days later and Nick was released from the hospital with a relatively clean bill of health. He was off work for another two weeks, at a minimum. There would be an official psyche evaluation before he could get back on the job, which was going to be the worst part of it, in Nick's opinion. Not that he didn't need counseling, Nick knew better than to think that, but that didn't mean he wanted to go through it.

When they were almost home, he asked, "Can I go to Michael for my official eval?"

"I don't see why not, since he's a fully certified psychiatrist," Gil agreed easily. "The city won't pay for it though."

"You don't have to," Nick said uncertainly. Sometimes he wasn't too sure about the whole mingled finances thing.

Gil took his hand and laced their fingers together, looking over at him as he said, "It's all yours, Nicky, you know that."

And he did, really, but sometimes it just struck him that he was wrong to want to turn everything over to Gil. That something bad would happen because of it...because he wasn't 'the man' of the relationship. Which was so fucked up, it wasn't even funny. Sighing, Nick said, "I think I need to start seeing Michael on a regular basis, not just for this...what happened."

"All right. I'll call him today and set something up," Gil agreed. "How soon do you want to see him?"

Flashing him an exasperated grin, Gil said, "Nicky, you can see him today if you want to. It's entirely up to you."

"Not today, I want to just stay in bed and hide with you for the rest of the day," Nick replied softly, the taint of shame rising up again.

Gil was silent until they reached home, but that was only a couple of minutes later. Twisting in his seat to face Nick, he kept hold of Nick's hand and just looked at him for a minute or so. He finally said, "If you want to stay in bed for the next week with me waiting on you hand and foot, that's what we'll do. If you want to turn around and see Michael right now, we'll do that. Whatever you need, we do. It's that simple."

Trying to stem the tears from spilling, so damn tired of his emotions being on a roller coaster, Nick asked, "What if, what if I don't know what I want to do? What if...God, Gil...what if I don't want to decide?"

"Then I'll just tuck you into bed and take the reins until you want them back," Gil promised, smiling. "You're my priority, Nicky, just you. It's okay to need a break, especially after what you just went through."

"You don't..." Nick bit his lip, struggling to articulate his deepest fear. "Doesn't...don't you think that makes me less...somehow? To just give up everything to you?"

"Nicky, oh baby boy, that is not something you need to worry about, I swear it to you," Gil replied. "Trust me on this until you can believe it for yourself, all right? You are a strong, capable, good man, who is as studly as they come."

Laughter burst from Nick at the unexpected summary and he saw the honest, loving humor glinting back from Gil's pale eyes. Resting his free hand on Gil's heart, he said, "Thank you."

Smiling, Gil replied, "You're welcome. Now. Get your butt into the house and then the shower. I need to get that hospital smell off you, change your bandages, put the lotion back on the bites and then tuck you into bed. I'm going to be selfish and hold you tight for the rest of the day. Might not even let you out of bed to pee."

Nick chuckled and pointed out, "I already told you I wasn't into diapers and I am not changing the sheets for that."

Gil tugged him forward unexpectedly, kissing him hard and fast. "Love you, Nicky."

"Love you too, Gil," Nick murmured, a small sense of peace drifting over him at last.