Title: Beyond my Control
Author: Daniela
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Pairing: Greg/Grissom
Rating: NC17
Category: Romance
Series/Sequel: Breaking the Ice
Disclaimers: CSI and its characters belong to Anthony Zuiker and CBS broadcasting company. The author makes no profit and no infringement is intended.
Summary: Grissom has second thoughts.
Warnings: Slash, M/M, a few Spoilers for "Jackpot"
Feedback: Yes, please. I will appreciate all constructive criticism.
Email: daniforblue@yahoo.de
Released: November 2003

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"Greg!!"

"Yes?"

"I'm asking you now for the third time. Do you have any results?"

"No."

His boss turned around, ready to walk away.

"Grissom...?"

"What?"

"I was thinking..." Jeez! Those eyes. Cold. Icy. Crushing. "Never mind."

Grissom frowned, but left anyway.

Greg watched his back, until he left his sight. Desperately sighing, he put his chin on his arms, trying to figure out, what he should do. Since he had slept with Grissom, he wasn't himself anymore. He wasn't capable to go on like nothing had ever happened between them. Grissom on the other hand, had obviously no problem to deny everything. He was as closed up as he could be. No sign of affection, passion, or something else. Always looking at him in this cold way, while giving him orders. The last days, when Grissom was gone on a case to a small town called Jackpot, Greg had missed him terribly.

Now, Grissom was back again and nothing did change or improve. Nothing at all.

"What's up, Greg? Are you lovesick?" Cath's voice.

Caught in the act, he whirled around. "No."

She didn't respond, only smiling knowingly.

After reconsidering his situation, Greg admitted truthfully: "Well, it doesn't matter at all, but I am."

"Who is the lucky guy? Michael?"

He grinned, relieved. "No. Of course not. Never."

"Someone from the lab?"

"No," he lied, trying not to blush.

"Mmh. What's the problem? Doesn't he fancy you?"

"It's ... It's complicated."

"Come on, tell me. Maybe, I can help."

Greg hedged, but the encouraging look on Catherine's face, loosened his tongue. He was so desperate to talk to someone. "I thought, he does fancy me. We...we already slept together. But now, he keeps his distance. I don't know, what's wrong."

"Do you still want him?"

"More than ever."

"What's he like?"

"What do you mean?"

"His character."

"Well, very determined, serious, mature, always in control."

Her eyes sparkled amused. "I see. Maybe, he is afraid of losing his control. Better for him not minding you."

Greg was surprised. "You think so? You don't even know him."

"Trust me. Take my advice and make the first move. Let him forget, he is always in control of everything. Being in control of everything all the time it's an illusion anyway. It's about time he gets rid of that confidence."

"Wow. Okay. I'll try. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Leaving, she remarked teasingly: "Maybe, I do know him."

Agape, he stared after her. It took some time, before he could close his mouth again. His mind was rushing. She is just teasing me. She can't possible know. Nobody knows. But then again, if she knows? Does it matter? It's Catherine. She would never tell anybody, wouldn't she? And, on the other hand, she was right. I have to take my changes. Now, before I am getting nervous again. I have to act. Determined, he walked to Grissom's office and knocked.

"Yes."

He went in, looking straight in Grissom's icy eyes. "I need to talk to you."

"Finally, you have some results for me."

"No."

"So, what is it then, Greg?"

Oh, very encouraging. "Well, it's about me. About us."

Grissom's face became grim. "Us? There is no us."

"Yeah. I already got that message. You had me and than you threw me away."

"I never made you any promises."

"No, of course not. You didn't say anything. You act, like it never happened..."

His boss interrupted him. "I don't wanna discuss this right now."

"When do you want to discuss it?"

"Actually never. We have nothing to talk about."

"I see. Well, then there is only one more thing to say. Thanks for fucking me." He rushed out of the office.

For a long time, Grissom stared at the spot, Greg had been standing. He sighed. This boy. Why didn't he let it go? For God's Sake. What's he bitching about? They did it. It was fun. End of story. Why did he make it so complicated? Grissom noticed a pleasing stirring in his groin and cursed softly: "Damn it." He felt the urge to pay Greg's desk a visit and make him suffer for getting him horny so easily. It wasn't as simple for him, as Greg thought. Seeing him every day at the lab, let him fantasize a lot. Sometimes, he wanna throw Greg on his desk and take him right there. Ridiculous, of course. Come down, soothed Grissom himself. It's really better to forget about it. Forever.

Much later, at home. Grissom was watching the discovery channel, when a loud hammering at his door startled him.

"Open the door! Now! It's me! Greg." His voice sounded different. The noise, which he made, could be heard in the whole building.

Grissom rushed to the door and tore it open. Immediately, he understood what was going on. "You are drunk."

"No," Greg babbled. "I'm just a little lightheaded from a relaxing trip to a bar."

"I see. That's why you have decided to come here."

"Yeah. I needed to see my boss. The man, who has everything under control. Not like me, the little schoolboy."

"Get out of here."

"I can't. I'm not like you. My behavior is beyond my control." He pushed Grissom aside and walked in.

Gasping surprised, Grissom demanded again: "Go home! Didn't you hear me?"

"Not really. I told you, it's beyond my control. I had to come here!" Shouting the last sentence, he did surprise Grissom and himself. Suddenly, he stumbled over his feet and came down on his knees.

Quickly, Grissom closed the door and rushed over to him.

With misty eyes, Greg was looking up to him. His voice thick with longing, he pleaded: "Please Grissom, I wanna suck you." Before the older man could react, Greg wrapped his arms around his hips and put his face against his crotch.

Trying to unwrap himself again, Grissom ordered: "Stop it. This is ridiculous, you are drunk..."

Rubbing his face against Grissom's crotch, Greg mumbled: "I'm not that drunk..." Feeling the man's cock harden, he continued: "You want it. I can feel it. I want it too. What's the problem?" Clumsy, he fumbled on Grissom's zipper, finally succeeding in pulling it open. A hard cock sprang out.

Still, Grissom tried to get the situation under control. "Greg, stop it. Now."

Licking the shaft tenderly up and down, Greg obviously didn't want to stop. "I can't. I dreamt so often about this. I want you so much. It's so beyond my control."

Once more, Grissom tried to pull away, but finally scolded softly: "You know, you drive me nuts. I should..." Giving in, he grabbed Greg's shoulders and dragged him to the sofa.

Greg didn't complain, but he demanded: "I wanna be on top."

Amused, Grissom lay down and sighed deeply. "I surrender."

Wasting no time, Greg started licking his balls. First the left, than the right. Slowly.

Enjoying the moment, Grissom was watching him closely. Pleasure ran through his body. He ordered: "Quit teasing. Suck me. That's what you came for, didn't you?"

Grinning, Greg lifted his head. "Still the boss, always in control."

Grissom's eyes glimmered. "Please."

Satisfied with his boss pleading, Greg took the cock fully in his mouth.

A lustful moan escaped Grissom's lips. Finally closing his eyes, he allowed all his control to slip away.

Swallowing Grissom's throbbing shaft again and again, sucking him harder and faster, Greg was taking over control completely.

Grissom grabbed his head, messing tenderly with his hair.

Greg's heart skipped a beat. He doubled his efforts to make Grissom come.

"Yes." Only a soft whisper. Grissom couldn't stop himself from uttering his pleasure, anymore. This boy was talented with his mouth, an experience, he never had expected. This wet, soft, sucking mouth. He reached his climax fast and without a warning. Suddenly arching up, he let out only one gasping sigh, while exploding.

Raising his head slowly, Greg licked lazily his lips. "Tasty." Immediately, he put his head down on Grissom's chest, yawning. "I'm tired." After a few seconds, he slept like a trusting little kid.

Once again speechless, lying under Greg's body weight, Grissom stayed put. His feelings drove him crazy. Why did Greg come here? He made it all much more complicated. Why didn't he stay away? Why couldn't he just let it go? Casually stroking Greg's hair, he asked himself, how he could let all this happen.

I must be totally out of my mind. Well, it wasn't my mind he fucked with, was it? I am much too old for thinking with my dick, am I? But, is it only that? Admit it, you like Greg very much. You even care for him. He makes you happy. Why don't you tell him? Didn't you affirm a few days ago, you're trying to be more open. Now is the chance. With Greg. Don't screw it up again. Finally, he released himself very carefully from Greg's body and went for a blanket to cover him up. After a last look on Greg's peaceful face, he went to bed.

Later at night, Greg woke up, because of an urgent need to take a leak. A little disorientated for a moment, he stumbled to the bathroom. Finished, he remembered the way to Grissom's bedroom and entered it without the smallest scruple. Quickly getting rid of his jeans and shirt, he went under the covers and snuggled to Grissom's warm body. A soft grumble was the only complain from the sleeping man.

The next time, Greg opened his eyes, it was morning. Feeling cozy and comfortable, he shifted a little and was suddenly confronted by Grissom's blue eyes.

"Morning, Mister Sanders."

Remembering the way, he had acted last night, Greg felt now ashamed. "You want me to leave?"

Smiling fondly, Grissom shook his head. "No, you can stay as long as you want to. I was just surprised, finding you here. I didn't remember, taking you to bed with me."

"Well, I was waking up, feeling lonely. So I did come to your bed myself." Fixed by Grissom's blue piercing eyes, he blushed slightly. "I...last night..."

Swiftly, Grissom pulled him close and started caressing his neck. "What is it?"

"It's just... I'm not used to this."

"I didn't get that feeling last night, when you were sucking my dick," Grissom joked.

A little distracted by Grissom's tongue in his ear, Greg sighed happily: "I mean, I was never before involved with my boss."

"Good."

Getting hotter by Grissom's touch, Greg wanted to know: "Have you known for long I'm gay?"

"Yes. I guessed it pretty soon. One good reason, I was keeping my distance to you."

Greg was all ears. "Ah. I see. You wanted me since you first laid eyes on me."

Laughing, Grissom grabbed him and pinned his body to the mattress. "Getting smart with me again?" A heated but sweet kiss followed.

Very much aroused, Greg admitted truthfully: "I wanted you from the first moment I laid eyes on you."

Perplexed but still amused, Grissom wanted to know: "Did you know I'm gay?"

"No. Maybe. Not really. You are so mysterious. Inscrutable. Sometimes, I thought you are with Catherine."

"Understandable. I'm close to her. She is a really good friend. She was the one, who told me about your weird behavior. She told me, you were acting this way because of me. She urged me to talk to you."

Well, Catherine you are really something, Greg thought with affection. Now I'm certain, you know. "She is the best. I like her a lot. Does she know you're gay?"

"Earlier, I didn't know. Today, I'm sure of it. Even though, I never outed me to her. When did you know?"

"For sure? Not until you kissed me for the first time."

"Did I shock you?"

"Actually no. I was too excited, too happy about it. You know, I wasn't happy for some time."

"Sorry, I made you so unhappy. I just didn't realize it. I didn't notice, what was going on."

"Yeah. How could you? You were never around me, anymore."

Obviously finished with the talking, Grissom's hand slid down and started to explore the area around Greg's bellybutton. "I will make it up to you."

Moaning softly, Greg revealed: "I was fantasizing so often about all this."

Grissom took his hand further to get a grip. "At work, I suppose. You're just impossible."

Feeling his cock harden, Greg teased: "It's only your fault, Grissom. You..."

"For God's Sake. Call me Gil, will you?"

This offer and Grissom's hand on his fully erected cock made him obey quickly. "Sure. Gil. If you insist. You're the boss. As you know, it's beyond my control."