Title: Day Had Come
Author: Bj Jones
Rating: FRM
Disclaimer: I think we all know I don't own them and the reasons why. They are owned by various executives, producers, writers and studios that have more lawyers than I want to mess with. I'm not making any money just borrowing them for a bit and promise to return them.
Summary: Eric tries to deal with Speed's death.
Beta: Star (Gil), Lynn (Janet)

Title: Forget
Word Count: 111

~*~

They just didn’t understand he thought as he downed another shot of tequila. Grabbing the bottle, he poured another. He wasn’t out clubbing, looking for a good time; he was out to lose himself in alcohol, sex, anything – anything to forget.

Forget that he lost the man he loved.

Forget that the man he loved was careless with his own life.

Forget that he couldn’t do a thing to save him.

Forget that he didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.

Forget that half his soul was missing.

He downed another shot. Just one more and then maybe he could go home to an empty house and forget he was alone.

Title: Not Forgotten
Word Count: 357

Speed watched his lover self-destruct. He watched as he went to the clubs night after night, losing himself in booze and sex. His heart ached as he watched Eric with another nameless woman, using her and leaving her by the side of a building. A sick part of him was thrilled that he had never taken any of them home. Eric had never dirtied the bed they had once shared.

He could only stand by and watch as the people he used to call family turned their backs, not one noticing as Eric slipped further into the darkness. He cursed the heavens for taking away the only thing true and meaningful in his life. He should be there, by Eric’s side. They should be snuggled up on the couch discussing their future. Eric should be making love to him in their bed, and not screwing some whore against a building.

“You need to stop.”

“Fuck you.” Speed turned towards his handler. “You have no right. No say. You stole my life. I will not stop loving him and will do anything to protect him.”

The handler rolled their eyes. “I don’t know why they wanted you. You’re pathetic. Isn’t it obvious that your little boy toy has moved on? Get your head out of your pants and do your fucking job.”

Speed’s eyes narrowed his voice cold and deadly. “One day. One day, when you least expect it, this will all be over.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“No.” He looked back at Eric one last time before moving towards the vehicle. “It’s a promise.”

Title: A Memory Returns
Word Count: 407

~*~

He had felt better after talking with the department therapist, getting some of the frustration out into the open. But how could he openly talk about what he was feeling when he couldn’t talk about the true relationship he had with Speed? They had kept their relationship a secret for a variety of reasons. Their jobs, Eric’s family, and he knew there was something driving Speed to hide. He didn’t know what it was and had never pushed, but it was there. A few times a familiar name popped up, an old love, but nothing more.

Eric rolled over and stared at the empty side of the bed. He hated the fact that Stetler had been right, but in truth the bastard had had no clue what he was feeling. No idea how much pain he was in. If he hadn’t gone to get help he was going to do something stupid, like get himself killed.

He pulled Speed’s pillow over holding it close to his chest. Life wasn’t worth living since he lost the man he loved. Though there was something at the back of his head, pushing to get past the hurt and anger. It was there -- he just had to reach for it, but the pain was too much.

Eric sighed and fell back into the bed. “Why?” He stared at the ceiling. “Why did you leave me? Why didn’t you clean your gun…?” Then it hit him.

He sat up in the bed and stared at the closet. He hadn’t opened Speed’s gun safe since that day. He moved off the bed and towards the safe, in a few moments he had pulled out the used cleaning kit and rags.

If he was cleaning the gun how did it jam? And why did Calleigh say it was dirty?

Eric collapsed on the closet floor in shock.

What if?

Title: Outside Looking In
Word Count: 700

~*~

He had noticed that Eric seemed calmer of late. He had put his fear and anger behind him, and was starting to live once again. Speed smiled softly, happy to see the man he loved return to himself, but it pained him to know he was moving on.

He was no longer a part of Eric’s life, nothing but an outsider looking in. Speed tossed the book across the room in a fit of rage. He shouldn’t be doing this, here, trapped in their clutches once again.

“Ahh is someone having a hissy fit?”

“Fuck you.” Speed glared at his handler as he got up. “I’m going out.”

“You aren’t going to do anything stupid are you?” He turned towards him eyes flashing.

“I thought about heading down to the lab, running some Trace, chatting with some co-workers, then finding Eric and fucking him into the wall.” Speed snarked as he grabbed his coat. “If you have a problem with that, you can go fuck yourself.”

“Such nasty language from a reserved, quiet CSI,” the handler spat.

“Well,” he turned towards him. “It wasn’t the reserved CSI you wanted was it?”

“Timothy, don’t do anything stupid.”

“Trust me,” Speed grinned as he slammed the door shut. He moved quickly down the stairs avoiding all the cameras in the hotel. “Trust me as much as I trust you.”

~*~

The club was packed, the music blaring, the lights down low. It was perfect. Speed moved through the crowds easily, looking for a distraction. He’d lost Eric; even if he was able to one day explain what he had done, it would turn the man he loved from him. His eyes swept over the crowd searching out his target.

Then he saw him. Eric.

The temptation was too much.

He moved in behind him, hands slipping around the slim waist, pulling him close, moving with the music. Speed bit back a groan at the feel of Eric’s body moving against his. All he wanted to do was to push him against the wall and fuck him hard and deep. They moved with the music, lost in the flow of bodies.

It was the small plea that undid him. A whispered please. Speed pushed them towards the dark back hallway, pinning Eric face first against the wall. He didn’t dare speak; instead he quickly unzipped and pushed Eric’s tight jeans down around his ankles. His hands cupped the smooth round ass. Shivering with need, Speed released his own aching cock and slipped on a lubed condom; it was the only prep his lover was going to get.

Eric cried out as he was taken hard, tears streaming down his face from the pain and pleasure that coursed through him as his hole was pounded into. He took a hold of his own hard cock and stroked it in time with each deliciously hard thrust. In no time he was coming hard, his lost love’s name on his lips.

Speed grunted as he came, biting back Eric’s name. He pulled out and checked for injury, satisfied Eric would be sore but nothing was torn, so he quickly took care of the condom and zipped up. He gave the perfect ass a little pat then disappeared into the dark; disgusted with himself that he had just taken Eric in a dark seedy club for his own pleasure. He turned back and watched from the shadows as his lover cleaned himself up and straightened his pants.

“Speed…” Eric whispered as he wiped the tears from his face, slumping against the wall.

Tim looked at his lover, eyes wide. Did he know?

Title: Escalation
Word Count: 144

~*~

“What are you doing?” Speed eyed his handler.

“My job…” they pointed out ignoring the low growl coming from the other man.

His voice was cold and deadly. “You hurt him, and I’ll rip you apart.”

The handler turned towards him eyebrow raised. “That’s so cute. You still love him.”

“I meant Horatio.”

Marisol turned towards him, eyes narrowing. “What’s it to you? Were you fucking him like you fucked my brother?”

Speed moved up next to her and whispered, “The only reason your throat hasn’t been slit is because you’re Eric’s sister. But one day you’re going to fuck up so very badly playing these games, and I’ll get to take you out.”

“And risk having my fiancée and brother chase you down?” she purred sweetly.

Speed stood back with a grin. “Oh no, honey, not after I show them who you really are.”

Title: The Day Had Come
Word Count: 350

~*~

He had known this day would come. He gave Marisol credit; she was good. The Delkos had no idea their precious daughter had been working for the CIA for years. They also had no idea that she was a traitor.

Speed had escaped their clutches a decade ago. Evidence hidden around the country had kept him out of their grasp. He enjoyed his life in Miami. Speaking for those who had been cut down early, instead of being the one cutting lives down.

Then he had met Eric.

Tim had known he couldn’t afford to give his heart, but Eric had wormed his way in. And Speed had found himself falling in love. The young man became his life. He gave the ex-assassin’s cold heart much needed warmth. His only fear had been Eric finding out what he’d been long ago.

What he hadn’t counted on was them using Eric against him. That she would use her own brother to gain access to one of the CIA’s deadliest assassins. Speed had known the moment Eric introduced him to the Delkos. He knew what she was, and she knew what he was.

It was the beginning of the end for Timothy Speedle.

When he had woken up from the shooting and found her there, he swore that one day he would kill her for destroying him.

That day had come.

Marisol Delko was a beautiful, deadly woman. She had lied to her family and Horatio. She wasn’t dying of cancer, hell she didn’t even have a hangnail. She was setting them up.

The Mala Noche had made a deal.

Horatio for information.

The CIA took it and sent in Marisol.

But information had come back to the CIA about their agent. She was betraying them, working for the Mala Noche. If there was one thing the CIA didn’t tolerate it was betrayal.

Speed got the assignment.

He made a deal.

Her death; his freedom.

They took it.

Looking through the scope, he centered himself and removed all emotion from the job. He couldn’t think about what this would do to Eric and Horatio.

He pulled the trigger.

Title: Truth Revealed
Word Count: 424

~*~

They had buried his sister two days earlier. Horatio stood by Eric’s parents mourning the loss of his wife. Eric was cold. The Mala Noche operative had denied making the hit. He admitted that they wanted her dead. His accusations still rang in Eric’s ears.

“The bitch was CIA, was working both sides.” The gang member grinned. “Your precious wife and sister was a Noche whore – passed around to all the guys. They especially loved it that she would fuck Caine and then come to us begging for it.”

Eric was surprised Horatio didn’t put a bullet in his head. Hell, he was surprised HE didn’t. He couldn’t believe that his sister…

Then he dropped an even bigger bomb on them.

“You want to know who sniped your chica?” He laughed. “Your dead lover. Word on the street is that the big agency knew what the little whore was doing. Sent in their assassin. It was the one job he took with glee.”

Eric schooled his features. The truth revealed. Speed was alive. Speed had killed his sister.

~*~

Eric studied the package in his hands. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to open it. What it contained would alter his world. He looked up at Horatio.

“Open it.”

H looked older than he was. Eric knew this was hurting the redhead. He had opened up to someone, and…

He opened up the package and all the evidence - documents, photos fell out. If there was any doubt in their minds that Speed was in the middle of the situation it was gone now. They sorted through it, treating it as evidence in a case. By the time they were done, the full story had been laid out.

Eric wanted to scream in pain.

“Eric?” Horatio’s hand was warm on his shoulder. “What do you want to do with this information?”

“Does it matter?” he said. “She destroyed my life. She betrayed you.”

“I can deal with the betrayal,” his voice was soft and sad. “It’s not the first time it’s happened.”

Eric looked over at him. “I’m sorry H, I know you loved her.”

The redhead shook his head. “She was your sister, and she took Speed from you and put him in a position he couldn’t escape.”

“This stays between us.” The young man looked down at the evidence: photos of her with various Mala Noche members, documents tying her to the CIA, false medical records, and her own words setting up Speed’s ‘death’.

“What will you do?” Horatio asked.

“I don’t know.”

Title: Trying to Forget
Word Count: 212

~*~

It had been six weeks since that fateful day. Speed downed another shot of tequila. Six weeks since he had killed Marisol Delko. He had no regrets about killing her, hell he had even gone for a gut shot, making her suffer a slow, agonizing death. His regret was forever losing Eric.

He had had an unrealistic hope that once it was all over he could somehow get his life back. Get Eric back. That night in the club had given him hope that maybe his lover had figured out the truth. Knew he was alive. But even if he did, there was no hope that Eric would want the man who murdered his sister.

He downed the next shot. He just hoped there was enough Tequila in the world to make him forget.

Forget that he had made a foolish mistake as a teenager and ended up in their clutches.

Forget that he had given his heart to someone and it left him vulnerable.

Forget that he killed a woman who was loved by someone he respected and admired.

Forget that he destroyed the image of their beautiful daughter to a loving family.

Forget that he was alone.

Forget that he was nothing but an empty shell.

He downed another shot hoping to forget it all.

Title: Decision
Word Count: 228

~*~

It had been six weeks since that day. Eric flew through the streets of Miami on Speed’s Ducati. Six weeks since the truth had been revealed. Since he learned that everything he had known about his sister was a lie. That everything he had known about his lover was a lie.

He turned a tight corner and sped down the open road. Speed had taken him on countless rides. Eric had enjoyed holding onto his lover as they sped down the road. On one of their adventures they had found a secluded stretch of beach. After long days on a case they would go there and make love on the sand, reconnecting.

Eric stood on the beach and stared out towards the ocean. He had a decision to make. Horatio had given him the information this morning. He looked down at the piece of paper – Brazil.

He thought back to their life together. Speed had never talked about his past. He had always said - it died the day he arrived in Miami.

Eric made his decision; he turned and headed back towards the bike. He was wrong. He knew everything about his lover. He knew the truth. Speed never lied to him and the proof was in his touch and words. Eric started up the powerful bike and headed back towards Miami – towards the airport – towards his future.

Title: Future
Word Count: 423

~*~

It had been a year since Eric dumped the bike at Miami International Airport and left his life behind. Something Speed still grumbled about; his baby lost and alone in an airport garage. He had finally shut up when Eric found out from Calleigh that Horatio had picked it up and the Ducati was living happily in his garage.

“What are you thinking about?” Speed asked as he slipped his arms around his lover kissing his neck.

“The day I came home.” Eric turned in his arms and kissed him softly. “I love you.”

Speed buried his head into his lover’s neck and shoulder. “I thought I had lost you forever, and that when you found out the truth you would want nothing to do with me.”

Eric cupped the scruffy cheeks, forcing Speed to look at him. “I realized that the truth had always been there in your actions.”

“Even with my past…”

“We have no past, our lives started the day I came to Brazil. Do not look back, only look forward,” Eric whispered against his lips, taking them in a deep kiss. “Come let’s head back to the house.”

Speed slipped his hands under the linen shirt, caressing smooth skin. “Hmmm…we could just stay here and enjoy the outdoors…”

The younger man chuckled as he moved out of his lover’s arms. “Last time we enjoyed the outdoors I got bug bites in places that bugs shouldn’t be at.”

Speed laughed as he followed his lover up the path towards their house. “We’re having dinner with Yelina and Ray Jr…”

Both men paused, surprised to see Yelina waiting for them. It was how Horatio had located Speed. Yelina had spotted him in town, and phoned her brother-in-law instantly. She had been a bit surprised to see the ‘dead’ CSI walking around Brazil. Horatio had told her the full story. She had checked around asking about Speed, and was disheartened to find out his life had hit rock bottom. She reported back to the redhead, stating that he had fallen on hard times soon after, Eric showed up in Brazil, looking for his wayward lover.

Over the next year the two men had become good friends with the ex-cop, and surrogate uncles to Ray Jr., especially after Ray Sr. had once again disappeared. They had a standing arrangement to have dinner with the family once a week. For her to be on their doorstep, they knew something was wrong.

“Yelina?” Speed stepped up to her. “What’s wrong?”

“Horatio…” She cried. “He’s missing.”

~ The End ~