Title: Denial
By: wojo62
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: R
Note: Beta'd with appreciation by Shacky20
Summary: Nick denies his love for Greg.

Nick Stokes had never been in a serious relationship. It was something he was never good at, sure he dated but it never amounted to anything and never lasted longer than a few weeks. It was better to stay unemotional, one night stands were safer and less hassle than becoming emotionally involved. No strings attached, that's what suited him best. That's what he kept telling himself. That was before Greg came into the picture. Though coming to terms with that was another matter.

When they first got together after a night at a bar, Nick had made it perfectly clear to Greg, it was just sex and nothing more. They would take care of each other's needs but it would never be anything beyond friendly fucking, as Nick liked to refer to it. Greg went along with this because he wanted Nick and he loved him, so he would take what he could get. Even if he felt used, he thought it was worth it. Then one night it exploded in his face, he said those three words that Nick didn't want to hear. "I love you."

Of course he said it in the heat of the moment. After an incredibly satisfying and lusty sexual encounter on Nick's kitchen table. Sometimes the bedroom was just too far away. Nick suddenly pulled away from Greg with a look of shock and horror on his face.

"What did you just say, Greg?"

"I love you." Greg repeated and instantly regretting it.

"I thought we set some ground rules here, G, remember just sex, no strings."

"Those were your rules, Nick. Not mine." Greg's voice raising with an intense anger, but the pain shone through his tearful eyes.

"You agreed Greg." Nick gave Greg an accusing look, the fear in him making him sound colder than he meant to.

"Only because I wanted you, I've always wanted you." Greg choked out the words, trying to fight back the tears. His voice lowering to a whisper Nick could barely hear.

"You're making things complicated G, it was just fun and now you've ruined it. I can't deal with this Greg. It's too much. You knew it was only sex and nothing more." Nick's denial and confusion kept him from realizing the truth, and all he could do was give in to his fear.

"It's only complicated because you're making it that way Nick. You care about me, I can see it in your eyes. You're just too scared to admit it." Greg protested weakly, his tears beginning to fall..

"We can't do this anymore Greg, I'm sorry, it's too hard. I think it's best if you just go." Nick turned away from him so he wouldn't have to see the pain in Greg's eyes.

"Fine Nick, if you can't handle your own feelings for me then your right I should go. I feel sorry for you Nicky, we could have had something but now we have nothing. So next time your dick gets hard don't come crawling back to me because I won't be there!!"

Greg nearly shouted the last words as he pulled up has pants, grabbed his shirt and left Nick's house slamming the door behind him. Nick pretended he didn't care, just another relationship gone sour. He told himself it didn't matter, that it was for the best. He was in denial but he just didn't realize it. He headed into the bathroom and stepped into the shower, he would simply wash any scents or thoughts of Greg down the drain. He's done it so many times before, it was easy. This time would be no different, right? But why did his chest ache so badly when he remembered the sadness in Greg's eyes and the sound of his door slamming?

The rest of the day was spent not thinking about Greg, not missing him, and not wanting him, at least that's what Nick told himself as his erection grew in his pants. He tried to ignore it, tried by watching the discovery channel. Get his mind on other things like migrating birds. Still thoughts of Greg crept into his mind, and refused to leave. He reached down and freed his cock from it's confines and began to stroke himself to orgasm, Greg's name escaping from his lips as he came.

That night he went to work, determined to forget what happened and chalk it off as an unimportant event. So he jerked himself off thinking of Greg. It meant nothing, just a left over fantasy from their time together. It was over and he would believe nothing less.
Thankfully he was paired with Catherine and Greg was on a case with Grissom so he didn't have to deal with Greg for the entire shift. Except for the few times they encountered one another at the lab, even then they ignored each other. Catherine noticed Nick's distraction, she was good at noticing things. Nick wished she wasn't.

"So, Nicky. What's up with you?" She asked. "You don't seem like yourself tonight."

"It's nothing, really. Just got a lot on my mind."

"Well, in that case, snap out of it and stay focused. We have a crime scene to process and I need you with me."

"Yeah, right. Sorry." 'Typical Catherine.' He thought to himself. He took out his camera and began snapping photos of the scene. While Catherine lifted some prints and found some fibers on the victim.

Grissom and Greg had a DB in a parking lot outside a restaurant. Greg was silent as he looked over the scene and proceeded to snap photos of the body and it's surroundings.
Greg being silent was unusual and Grissom being Grissom was very curious about this quiet version of Greg Sanders. Secretly he missed the non-stop chatter.

"Greg, you're awfully quiet tonight. Is everything okay?" Gil asked concerned.

"I'm fine." was all Greg would say as he continued taking pictures.

Grissom just shrugged and continued to process the scene. Every now and then he would turn and look at Greg but said nothing more. Grissom was not a people person, and Greg was just glad to be left alone with his thoughts.

After shift Nick headed to the locker room but stopped when he heard Greg's voice. He was having a conversation with Sara. Telling her his plans for that evening, it was his night off.

"It's my night off. I am going to this club called Flex*, I'm hoping to get lucky." Greg said laughing.

"Greg, isn't that a gay club?" Sara asked.

"Sometimes its just easier to pick up guys because women expect too much. You know I go both ways Sara, that's why you wouldn't go out with me. Remember?"

"Well, that's one of the reasons."she said smirking.

"It's your loss, eventually I got over you. We make better friends anyway."

"Yeah, that's true Greg. Have fun tonight but be careful." she said concerned.

"I always am." he assured her.

Sara patted Greg's shoulder and turned and left the locker room, passing Nick in the hallway. She said bye to him and continued down the hallway. Greg put on his jacket, closed his locker and headed out of the locker room. Nick stayed out of sight as Greg passed him. Then went into the empty locker room himself. He had a feeling of despair creep over his body. He didn't understand it and tried to ignore it but it wouldn't go away.
'So Greg is moving on.' he thought to himself. 'How can he forget about me that easily? And why do I even care?' He sat down on the bench, feeling things he shouldn't be feeling. He put his hands to his head.

"What is wrong with me?" He said aloud.

"I can think of a lot of things" Came Warrick's playful voice. "What's up Nick, you hearing voices, talking to yourself? Do I need to get you some help?"

"Very funny." Nick replied. "I'm just fine thank you."

"If you say so man."

"I do. Look Rick I have to get out of here. Need to get some shut eye."

"Wait Nick, before you go I want to ask you a favor."

"Shoot."

"Tina's been really riding me about not spending enough time together, she has tomorrow night off, and I have to work. So, I was wondering if you would trade shifts with me. I'll work tonight, You work for me tomorrow."

"Sure Rick, no problem."

"Thanks man, I owe you."

"I won't let you forget it either." Nick joked.

"I'll see ya." Warrick laughed as he left the room, leaving Nick alone with his thoughts. He has the night off. Thoughts of Greg and the club he's going to crept into his mind. He wasn't jealous. He tried to convince himself. He told himself he didn't care, Greg is free to do what he wants, free to be with anyone he wants. So why was he feeling like he was kicked in the gut. He doesn't care about Greg. Didn't need him in his life, didn't miss the warmth of his body, the way he kissed, didn't miss how good it felt being inside him, didn't miss the feel of Greg's soft lips around his cock, or the sound of his voice as he moaned Nick's name. No, Greg meant nothing to him. He would not go to the club tonight to find him, no way would he be caught dead doing that.

*Flex is an actual gay club in Las Vegas.


It was after midnight when Greg entered the club. He wore skintight button fly jeans, which were well worn and he knew they showed off his assets well, a fishnet tank top, a dog collar choker, and a pair of bright yellow converse tennis shoes. He spiked his hair and topped it with glitter, and eyeliner to bring out his eyes to make his look complete. Greg was hurt and he was angry so he was on the prowl tonight and if Nick didn't want him he'd find someone who did. The best way to get someone out of your system was to put someone else in it, even if it was for only one night.
He swaggered, swaying his hips as he headed to the bar. Many pairs of hungry eyes followed him as he went, he could feel their stares and he liked it, it gave him a feeling of power. At the bar he ordered a beer and began to sip it when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Hey Greg, long time no see. Where you been hiding yourself?"
The voice was that of Aaron, his x-lover and friend. They ending it mutually, though had still remained close. Aaron was attractive and was always up for a good time and even a screw now and then for old times sake. They've been through this before and both knew the score by now. His long dark hair and piercing blue eyes still had an effect on Greg, he might be just what Greg needed.

"I'm a CSI now man, so I've been working long hours and haven't had much time for anything besides work and sleep." Greg explained.

"That's a bummer, what brings you out tonight?" He asked stepping closer.

"I just got dumped," Greg said giving his pouty look. "I'm lookin' to forget. Thought this place would do the trick. Looks like it has, if you up for it."

"I always am!" Aaron laughed. "But who in their right mind would dump a fine thing like you?" He asked seductively.

"I don't want to talk about him, why don't we sit down and you can tell me what's been going on with you."

Aaron nodded and they headed for an empty table near the back. They talked, laughed, and flirted while nursing their beers. Greg found what he came here for, maybe it was safer to hook up with an old flame than to fuck some stranger. It was only for one night.

Nick entered the club around one thirty. He went straight to the bar and sat down on the nearest stool. He looked around but saw no sign of Greg. Until some bodies moved off the dance floor and he caught sight of him. Sitting at a table with a man who with his long hair and leather coat reminded Nick of a vampire. They were close, he was caressing Greg's arm. He saw him whisper something into Greg's ear and they got up and entered onto the dance floor. He watched Greg dance, swaying to the music in jeans so tight they looked like they were painted on. They framed Greg's ass very nicely. His see through tank top, showed his toned body well. Nick loved the way Greg's hair sparkled in the strobe lights of the dimly lit club.
Nick frowned a bit when the other man who was now behind Greg, pulled him close and ground his hips against Greg's ass. His hand sliding around his waist to hold him near. Their bodies moving together to the beat of the music. This man was kissing Greg's neck and Greg threw his head back enjoying it. Greg's erection clearly visible though the outline of his tight jeans. Something primal was stirring in Nick, something he didn't understand. A feeling of possessiveness swept over him. The longer he watched the worse it got. His eyes growing dark with anger, jealousy, and lust.

Greg glanced over and saw Nick through the crowd staring at him. A spark of anger mixed with excitement washed over him. He turned to face Aaron and threw his arms around his neck. Their lips came together in a lustful kiss, tongues dancing in and out of each other's mouths. Aaron reached down and cupped Greg's ass in this hands and pulled him closer. Their bodies grinding together.
Suddenly something in Nick snapped. It hit him like a ton of bricks, he WAS in love with Greg. The fear of losing him and his jealousy took over and he raced though the crowd pushing bodies out of the way as he went. Ignoring the angry protests of the crowd around him. Greg seeing this, whispered a warning into Aaron's ear who quickly disappeared through the crowd and out of sight. Greg took off towards the door but before he reached it Nick grabbed his arm and shouted over the music.

"I need to talk to you now!!" Nick demanded with fire in his eyes.

"Go to hell, Nick!" Greg shouted back. "There's nothing left to say." with that Greg pulled free from Nick's grip and bolted for the door and outside. He started towards his car but halfway there Nick caught up to him and stopped him once again.

"Greg! I said we need to talk. I need to tell you..."

"I don't care what you have to tell me!!" Greg interrupted. "How the hell did you know I was here? Did Sara tell you!"

"No, I overheard the two of you and..." Nick tried to explain but Greg interrupted again.

"Fuck Nick!". "Spying on me now, how dare you! I knew you'd do this. Come looking for me the next time you felt like sticking your dick in something. Well it's not going to be me. I won't let you use me again...I won't!!" Greg was almost screaming now, tears of frustration stinging his eyes. He tried to pull away.

"Greg please!" Nick said with pleading eyes.

"Leave me alone!" Greg spat out at Nick and pushed him away hard. Nick was caught off guard and off balance and fell to the ground. Greg ran the rest of the way to his car and before Nick could get to him he took off out of the parking lot and sped away.

Nick was not giving up now, he raced to his truck and took off after Greg. He screwed things up and was determined to make it right. Greg may not forgive him but at least he will know how he feels. He was both desperate and scared. He needed Greg, he loved him. He hoped it wasn't too late.
Greg looked into his rear view mirror and seeing Nick's truck behind him he punched the steering wheel in anger. How dare Nick follow him around like a damn stalker! He was furious but he knew this couldn't go on much longer. He had to talk to Nick and settle things once and for all. He had no intention of doing this at home, he would not make a scene outside his apartment building where all the neighbors would hear. He spotted a playground up ahead. It was nearly two thirty in the morning and it was deserted. A perfect place to have it out with Nick. He pulled in and turned his car around for a quick get away if necessary, and pulled to a stop. He got out of his car and stood in front of it with his arms crossed in front of him in a defensive manner as Nick pulled up and stopped. Nick got out of his truck and walked towards Greg, this wasn't going to be easy, he could tell Greg was obviously pissed and ready for a fight.

"How dare you follow me Nick!!" Greg shouted pointing his finger at him.

"Calm down G, I came to apologize, and to tell you that I love you."

"Bullshit!" Greg cried. "You're just saying that to get me out of my pants! Well, it won't work Nick. Not this time." Tears were welling up in Greg's eyes.

"It's not bullshit Greg, I swear it's true. You have to believe me!" Nick pleaded.

"I don't believe you. Dammit Nick, I am not some sex toy you can play with then hide away in a box until you wanna play again! I won't let you use me. Nobody has ever made me feel as cheap as you did Nick, Nobody has ever hurt me like you did." Greg's tears flowed freely down his handsome face, and Nick felt responsible for each one.

"I'm so sorry Greg." Nick's chest ached as hope of winning Greg back was diminishing. He felt sick and full of fear like he'd never had before. How could he get though to him and make him understand? Before he could finish his thought, he felt Greg's anger and frustration as Greg hit him with what little energy he had left.

"I hate you!" Greg cried out as he kept hitting him. Nick grabbed his arms pulling a resistant Greg into a tight embrace. Greg wanted to break free but no longer had the strength as all the fight he had left drained from him.

"Get your fucking hands off me, Nick please, I can't do this." he begged wanting Nick to understand.

"Not until you listen to me Greg, really listen. You were right, about everything. I was too scared to admit, to myself, to you. But my God Greg, I've never been in love before, I didn't know how to handle it. So I got scared and ran but I can't run from you anymore, I need you so much. I know that now." He prayed he was getting through to Greg. He wanted him back, needed him. He released his hold and Greg just stared at him wide eyed. Taking this as a good sign he continued.

"I love you. I couldn't tell you before Greg because I was afraid. How could I admit to you that I loved you when I couldn't even admit it to myself? I am so sorry I hurt you. I've been such a dumbass. I fucked things up royally I know that. I can't blame you for hating me. Oh God Greg," his voice cracked with emotion. "I just hope you can forgive me. Please say it's not too late." Nick raised his hands to his face his body began to shake with sobs. Greg's anger left him as compassion and love took over.

"I don't hate you Nicky. I wanted to, but no matter how I tried I just couldn't."Greg choked back his own tears and he let Nick pull him close again. "I was hurt Nicky and scared that you had such control over me no matter how I tried to fight it." He pulled back and looked at Nick, seeing the love in his dark eyes. Then slowly he took Nick's face in his hands and brought their lips together for a hungry kiss, the kiss deepened as their mouths parted and tongues danced together, exploring and tasting. Until they were forced to pull away to breath.

"Does this mean I'm forgiven?" Nick asked with hope in his eyes.

"I don't know Nicky, I might need some more convincing." Greg eyed him playfully.

"What did you have in mind G?" Nick was smiling now, knowing Greg had forgiven him, but he knew Greg needed to remain in control, so he would play along with his little game because he knew it would be worth it in the end.

"Use your imagination Nick." Greg reached for Nick's hand and brought it to the crotch of his jeans with a seductive look. "I'm sure you'll think of something."

Nick gave Greg a knowing smirk as he dropped to his knees. He began to unbutton them, painstakingly slow. Greg grew hard beneath his touch and he was becoming impatient.

"Look Nick, teasing is not the way to gain my forgiveness." He playfully slapped at Nick's head. Nick unbuttoned the last few buttons as quickly as he could, and yanked Greg's jeans down, to Nick's pleasant surprise Greg wasn't wearing anything under those jeans, Nick's cock twitched with arousal.

"God Greg, you're so fucking hot like this." Nick licked his lips and swallowed hard.

"You know I love going commando, I know you love it too." Greg smiled down at him.

Nick shoved Greg's jeans down to his ankles and Greg kicked them off the rest of the way along with his shoes. He reached for Greg's cock and took him into his mouth. Greg gasped at the sudden pleasure. Nick licked at the precum that collected at the tip of Greg's erection, then he opened his throat and took Greg all the way in, at the feel of hitting the back of Nick's throat, Greg let out a strangled cry and his knees went weak. He dropped down onto the hood of his car. His breathing quickened.

"Holy shit Nicky!" Greg moaned as Nick continued to deep throat him. Greg instinctively tried to arch his hips but Nick held him down. God, how Nick missed this, the way Greg smelled, the feel and taste as he took him in his mouth, Greg's cries of pleasure. Nick sucked him hard and fast, licking the underside of Greg's cock as he moved up and down the length, the way he knew Greg loved it.

"Oh my God, Nicky...feels so good...oh fuck...don't stop!! Greg growled as he reached down and grasped at Nick's hair. Nick remembered the lube he stuck in his front pocket and pulled it out, happy he came prepared. He snapped it open and lubed up a finger, he began to massage Greg's opening. Greg let out a groan and spread his legs wider to give Nick access. Nick thought it was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen Greg do, His own jeans became a bit constrictive as he grew hard inside them.

"Please Nick..."

That was all Nick needed to hear and he pushed his finger into Greg's tight hole. He felt his finger brush that nerve bundle and Greg let out a shreak of pleasure. Greg's body was shaking as waves of ecstasy shot through him and sparks went off like fireworks behind his eyes. He was so close.

"Nicky baby...oh Christ...I'm close...fuck! I'm coming!" Nick felt Greg shutter and spurt his seed deep into his throat, he swallowed it all willingly. He so loved the taste of Greg. Nick released Greg's spent cock and stood up, removed his own jeans and boxers and releasing his own throbbing cock, then he kissed Greg hard. Greg tasted himself on Nick's tongue as they explored and probed each other's mouths, deepening the kiss. After braking apart for air Nick removed his finger from Greg's ass and reinserted two, again brushing Greg's prostrate. Greg nearly howled like a wolf, it felt so good. Greg laid back onto the hood of his car as Nick fucked him with his fingers. Greg was hard again and breathing heavily, moaning and writhing beneath Nick's touch.

"I didn't like it Greg" Nick's voice growing deep.

"Didn't like what?" Greg asked panting.

"The way he touched you, didn't want him touching you." Nick pushed his fingers deeper as he said this.

"Oh God Nick!" Greg moaned. "Should have been you, not him."

"I didn't like it." Nick said again. "He was touching what was mine. Tell me you're mine G." Nick pleaded.

"I'm all yours Nicky. Take me Nick, take what's yours. Now, please." Greg begged.

Nick lubed himself up and moaned at his own touch. He lifted Greg's feet, resting them on his shoulders as he moved between Greg's legs and pushed inside him in one swift motion, at just the right angle. Greg threw his head back and cried out Nick's name. Grabbing onto Nick's forearms tight enough to bruise.

"Nicky!! Oh God, fuck me. Make me yours."

"Oh Greg, your mine...love you." Nick began to pound into his lover harder and harder, how he missed being inside Greg, he was almost brought to tears when he thought about what he almost lost. He looked into Greg's eyes and knew it was meant to be, knew they'd always be together. He found what he's been searching for all his life.
Greg too looked deep into Nick's eyes, dark with desire. He knew Nick never used him, knew he was loved and wanted. He felt safe knowing Nick would always be there. He was Nick's, Nick was his.
Nick was stroking Greg's cock now in time with his thrusting, he could tell by the way Greg's body was quivering and his shallow breathing that he was close again.

"Cum for me baby, I need you to...for me G."

"Ohhhhh, shit Nick...I'm gonna...Ahhhhh!!" Greg came, exploding onto his stomach and Nick's hand. He body clenched tight around Nick and he too came hard deep inside Greg.

They both lay there holding each other on the hood of Greg's car, spent and happy. They almost lost everything because of fear, now they have everything they've always wanted. Each other.