Title: Don't Stop
Author: slightly_frayed, a.k.a. Fraying
Genre: Angstyfluffsmut, maybe?
Rating: R, I would think. Nothing too graphic, but the tiniest amount of sexual content. No language, though.
Summary: Essentially a songfic. Lyrics from 'Don't Stop' by Our Lady Peace. My first attempt at ambiguity, and also very different from my normal plotless smut. Hope you enjoy. :)

***

He rolled over and watched the clock for the last five minutes before it urgently blasted its wakeup call. He had to stop waiting for his alarm to go off in the morning. It was probably the 25th time he'd been lying there, watching the numbers change and lose all meaning. Time didn't matter. Time was conceptual. He didn't feel it like he did the other things he so desperately needed; so desperately missed.

And then the thought came again, steady and inevitable, like every morning for the past 25 days. I should just go talk to him. But then suddenly he realized he hadn't thought No, he hates me afterwards, and he wondered why. Maybe he finally didn't care if the other man hated him. Or maybe he'd just finally numbed himself to the sensation of utter and desolate misery. I'll just go and get my stuff back. No discussion, no eye contact, just stuff. I can do that.

Shower, clothes, autopilot. And suddenly he was rounding the corner to the other man's apartment, wondering how he'd lost all the time in between the alarm and now. Just stuff. I can do that.

He made his way up the driveway, hesitating for a long while before knocking on the door, and why hadn't he thought out what he was going to say? Because you don't have to think around him. You always know what to say to make him flash that grin of his that makes your heart melt and--

The door opened. The door opened, and he just stood there, looking only a fraction of how pathetic he felt.

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Can't get out of bed
Straighten out my head
I swear this is goodbye
I feel like lying here
Feel like dying here
And only you can save me tonight

-------

He was waiting for his alarm to go off when he heard the faint sound of knocking on the door. He wasn't even sure if it could be called knocking. Tapping, maybe. Then he remembered that when someone knocked, no, tapped on the door, you were supposed to answer it. And how do you forget something that's been ground into your head since you were 8? You lose him. No, kick him out. The one person that makes you get up and live every day. Right. Thanks for the reminder.

-------

I felt this earth spin and crash
The end of the world shouldn't come so fast

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He already had his hand on the doorknob before he realized that he wasn't wearing pants. He also hadn't remembered to look and see who it was, tapping on his door at 6:30 in the morning. And how many cases had he worked where people had just opened their doors willingly to murderers? But maybe being murdered wouldn't be such a horrible alternative to his life at the moment. He opened the door.

And there the other man stood in, well, none of his glory. He looked nervous and... broken. Didn't even look up from the ground to say 'hey, I missed you' or 'I love you and I need to feel you again.' And the man standing inside the door had to remind himself that he'd never hear him say that again. He moved out of the way, and the other man walked through the door like he was a guest and not a permanent resident. Because that's what he is now. Just a guest.

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I feel powerless
I feel underdressed
I swear this is goodbye
I don't wanna go
I just seem to blow
Everything that I love tonight

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The two of them just stood there awkwardly in the hallway, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't be horribly inappropriate or painful. And then they both spoke at the same time.

"I--"

"I--"

Then the guest lifted his eyes away from the carpet and looked at the other man for the first time. The light in his eyes was gone, and the other man was tempted to look away. He didn't want to see him like this. When he finally spoke again, his eyes stayed hollow and tormented, his voice monotoned.

"You first."

And before the other man could contemplate his words, they were spilling out of his mouth and landing like heavy drops of acid rain on his guest.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you like this and I know I was horrible and you'll never forgive me for what I did to you."

The guest was crying again, and he thought he'd already cried all he could. He was wrong. "Don't do this to me." He thought maybe that was the only expression he'd heard come out of himself since he'd been kicked out.

"Just... just listen to me. I thought I could do this. I thought we'd be better off without each other, but I was wrong. I haven't slept since I--" He didn't want to say the words. "Since I kicked you out. I'm so in love with you that it hurts. And I keep seeing you at work and I hate myself for what I did to you. I know you'll never forgive me, and I don't expect you to, I just... I love you. I love you, and I need you to know that."

And then a miracle.

"I love you too." In the tiniest voice imaginable.

And then suddenly they were clashing. Fabric on fabric, skin on skin, lips on lips.

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I've been hiding here
I've been lying here
Watching life pass by
I want you to hold
I want you to know
That I'd die for you, I'd die for you
I felt this earth spin and crash
The end of the world shouldn't come so fast

-------

They stumbled down the hallway, never separating, trying desperately to make up for lost time. Clothes were thrown on the floor, blankets shoved off the bed, and impatient moans filled the long empty room. Trembling hands grasped hungrily at flesh, warm mouths made delicious trails on sensitive skin, and the universe was balanced once again.

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Don't stop sucking me in
Making me come back to you
No one will ever compare
Will ever be better than you

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