TITEL: Transient Evidence
Part of the Denuo AU
AUTHOR: Macx
RATING: NC...17
PAIRING: Nick/Grissom
ARCHIVE: yes
DISCLAIMER: CSI belongs to CBS, Alliance Atlantic, Jerry Bruckheimer, Anthony E. Zuiker and whoever else claims rights. We don't. Nu...uh! We just play with 'em.
The Denuo universe was created by Lara Bee and myself Macx's Voice of Warning (aka Authors' Note): English is not our first language; it's German. This is the best we can do. Any mistakes you find in here, collect them and you might win a prizeThe spell...checker said everything's okay, but you know how trustworthy those thingies are.... Gil Grissom didn't know why the sight of his long...time lover and partner in jeans and a dark t...shirt affected him so much. The jeans weren't extremely tight. They fit great, they were loose enough to move comfortably in, and the washed...out quality complimented the black t...shirt. Watching Nick walk through the lab, talking to Catherine, he felt something stir inside him. Nick moved with a natural grace, unaware of how much attention he drew from those of the other sex as he passed.
Women liked what they saw. So did Grissom. He felt little to no jealousy now; not any more. Nick was his partner, they had been together for years, and their bond was on so many levels that it was hard to say where it actually started and where it ended. Being his junior by several years had not deterred Nick from their relationship. There had been many ups and downs, too many downs for Gil to ponder them too closely. He had nearly lost Nick several times, either to the paranormal or the mundane. They had discovered so many things about themselves, making them stronger but also more vulnerable.
Today... today Grissom couldn't imagine a life without Nick. He, the hermit of social life, was living together with a man who loved life, who loved people, who was out...going and open and so very much involved in life that it had scared Gil at first. Now it was just another part of the ever...changing life he lived.
His eyes followed the narrow hips, encased in those washed...out jeans, and he wanted nothing more than to touch Nick, run his hands all over his body, kiss him, hold him.
Damn.
He wasn't some hormonal teenager. And it wasn't that he wanted to bend Nick over the next lab table and fuck him blind. Well, it was an option, but Grissom preferred to be at home, in their house, in their bed, and taking his time. It was just this irrational need to reassure himself of Nick's presence.
Burying himself in work he tried to push that thought away, but it remained. Quite persistently. Nick was still at the lab and Grissom wondered why he had this urge to just look for him, see that he was all right.
Maybe it was because of the abduction.
Grissom had never been so scared than after the kidnapping. Throughout it, seeing his lover in that glass coffin, seeing the pain and the emotional agony and the terror, he had been able to separate the professional from the private man. Afterwards... that had been a different matter. It still was.
"Aren't you in a cheerful mood."
He looked up, startled by the voice, the mild reproach in the rather level words, and he looked into a pair of dark eyes that held a mixture of worry and sarcasm. Leaning against the door jamb, arms crossed in front of his chest, Conrad Ecklie looked at graveyard supervisor, eyebrows raised in question. He was dressed in his usual dark suit, well...tailored, crispy white shirt and tie. All in all he was the Conrad Ecklie everybody knew and tried to avoid.
As Grissom looked into the dark eyes, he saw something else and sighed softly.
"Bad case or bad mood?" Ecklie asked pointedly.
"Neither," he answered.
Ecklie pushed away from the door and shut it, then walked over to the desk. He shot his colleague a questioning look.
Grissom refused to fall for the bait.
"There are good sides to being a shaman," Conrad said conversationally.
"You're prying," Grissom said quietly.
"No, I'm actually trying to understand why you are still here instead of..." Ecklie made a little gesture, indicating Grissom to leave the room.
A long time ago Grissom would have given his former enemy a cold look and thrown him out of his office. Politely, of course. But not any more. Hostile forces had turned into allies, into friends, and Ecklie understood more than Grissom had ever thought the other man would or could. He could be as empathic and sympathetic as the next, and he was a good listener. Then there was the fact that he was a shaman. That was a big advantage. Shamans protected, and Ecklie protected them.
Add to that the latest developments, his involvement in Nick's recovery and how much he had helped, Conrad Ecklie was a far cry from who everyone else perceived him to be.
Ecklie sat down in the visitor's chair, leaned back and folded his hands over his stomach.
"Gil?" he asked softly.
Grissom slipped his glasses back on. It felt like bringing up a shield, though a rather fragile one. Ecklie just smiled slightly.
"You want me to tell you what I see? Concern. Worry. Fear. You want to protect Nick. It's why you demanded him back on your team. You took the others, too. Probably just to cover your ass," the AD said conversationally. "You need him with you. You can't stand the feeling of not having him close. But you keep control over your feelings. You know Nick is an independent man. He wouldn't like to be babied, mother...henned and protected. He went through Hell, Gil, and he survived. He has nightmares and he has terrors and fears. I know them. I work with him."
Grissom gazed at the other man, feeling so many emotions flood through him. Conrad worked with Nick, yes. He talked with him, helped him with meditations to balance his severely unbalanced mind and soul, and he probably knew more than Grissom did ... about his own lover and partner! Sometimes it irked him, in moments when the need surfaced. But Grissom knew Ecklie helped, in a way Gil couldn't because he was too close, and because he couldn't see what a shaman could.
"Sometimes I think I liked you better when we only exchanged unpleasantries," he finally said and rubbed his forehead.
"Ah, yes, the good old times. Let's not think about them." Ecklie leaned forward. "Gil, talk to me."
Grissom met the dark eyes. "I don't think it will ease my problems."
"How do you know since you haven't tried?"
Another glare. Yes, he really hated it when Ecklie got all empathic. After a prolonged silence and the clear impression that Conrad wouldn't simply up and leave, Grissom folded his hands and rested his forehead against them.
"I don't know what it is," he finally confessed. "I look at him and want to take him into my arms, protect him, keep him safe. I just want to touch him to reassure myself that he's there, alive and well. When I look at him... when I see the scars... I relive those hours, I see the tapes again, I hear his voice... It's been so long and still, there are moments when it's all like it happened yesterday... that I was at the hospital, looking at him... and I'm aware how quickly I can lose Nick..."
There was a gentle warmth touching him, calming him, and Grissom drew a deep breath. He felt himself relax a little, then a little more, and finally there was a kind of newly...achieved balance.
"You're manipulating me, Conrad," Grissom chastised.
"No, I'm helping." Ecklie smiled a little and shrugged. "Can't help it. Shaman thing. And shamans have the compulsion to protect, too, Gil. I know what you feel about Nick ...... without the added pressure of being in an intimate relationship with him. I can only imagine what it's like on that personal level."
Ecklie was the life...partner of a vampire, he was in a very tight relationship, and the words weren't empty.
"You two are bonded, Gil," the other man now added quietly. "Listen to your emotions. It will take time for the lover and partner to feel comfortable enough to let go of Nick, to not feel so uneasy about having him out of your sight. Go, Gil. Just give in to the need."
"I'm not some possessive bastard..."
Conrad chuckled. "No, you're not. You're a concerned partner. You love Nick. You protect what you love."
Blue eyes wearily met the dark gaze.
"Gil," Ecklie said softly, intensely, "you're partners. You share. Go to him."
Grissom closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands. He felt so tired, so mentally exhausted. Images kept replaying. Months old; a case unsolved and far from closed. He had had dozens of new cases by now; Nick was with him, they lived together, he was healing. Still..
A hand squeezed his shoulder. He was startled to find Ecklie standing beside him. He hadn't been aware of the man getting up and moving.
"Take Nick. Go home."
Sound advise. Go take it, his mind muttered angrily. He blinked at the other man and finally nodded.
Ecklie shot him a brief smile. "And get some sleep."
"I will."
"Good." He turned to go.
"Conrad?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you," Grissom said sincerely.
A nod. "You're welcome. It's what friends are for."
And with that he was gone. The lingering calmness remained. It was a good feeling, warm and familiar, and while Grissom knew it was a shamanic thing, he appreciated the gesture.
Getting up, Grissom left his office and walked through the lab, aware that it was past the end of the graveyard shift. He briefly wondered why Ecklie was in so early ... or on so late, depending on when he had started his work day ... but he pushed that thought aside.
Nick had his own case at the moment, but it was near closing and he just had to look over some old evidence. He wouldn't be out. Warrick was with Sara on a stripper murder, Catherine would be in court today, and Greg was out on a burglary with Vartann.
Grissom found his lover in an evidence room, just about to put the multiple bags and boxes back into the evidence container.
"Hey, Gris," he was greeted, that warm smile making Grissom want to touch Nick even more. "Just about done for today. No overtime tonight. How about you?"
"I'm good to go."
"Great. Lemme just get the evidence back into lock...up."
Grissom let him pass. It took all his willpower not to just close the door and push Nick against it, kissing the living daylights out of him.
Control. It was all about control.
* * *
The moment they were home, Grissom acted on his instinct. Nick gave a little cry of surprise as he was pushed against the wall and Grissom kissed him. Soft lips opened under the assault and Nick groaned a little as Grissom's hands slid over his hips to his behind.
"Wow," he gasped when Grissom finally let up for a moment. "What's going on, Gil?"
He shook his head, unable to really answer. Blue eyes burned with an intense fire and brown eyes seemed to grow even darker.
The next kiss was no longer so harsh and needy, but it was still intense and deep, and Nick's hands clenched into Grissom's shirt. Gil trailed a few kisses over the square jaw and finally rested his head in the crook of Nick's head. Tremors coursed through him and it was an overpowering sensation to have Nick in his arms.
"Gil?" the younger man murmured, hands stroking over his back. "Wanna relocate?"
He nodded slowly and while he didn't really think about bed and sex, he wouldn't have argued with Nick if his lover had thought this was what he wanted. As it was, Nick did take him to bed, but it wasn't about tearing their clothes off. Kissing Nick, Grissom slid his hands over the black t...shirt, then slipped one underneath. Nick straddled him and Gil's hand suddenly hooked around his waistband right over the belt clasp. Warm skin pressed against his knuckles and the cool clasp pushed into his palm.
Nick ran caressing finger...tips over his forearm, a quizzical expression in his eyes.
"Gil?"
"I don't know, Nick," he confessed softly. "Just need you."
Nick leaned forward, kissing him, their groins pressing together, and Grissom couldn't but twist up. No, he hadn't thought about sex with his lover all day, but he was getting very much aroused. Who wouldn't when looking at this man?
"You always have me," Nick whispered.
The t...shirt went and Grissom's eyes roamed over the lean, smooth, hairless chest, his fingers tracing over the tiny scar. A reminder of the ant bites. All had healed, but one or two had scarred.
Always, Grissom thought, fingers now rousing a semi...interested nipple into hardness. He was a Phoenix; Nick was a Mimic who Mimicked a Phoenix. They were bound so tightly, and he loved him so absolutely... He flicked a nail over the nipple and Nick bit his lower lip. His own hands were busy with undoing the buttons on Grissom's shirt and when he could finally touch his skin, Grissom felt an appreciative shiver pass through him.
Clothes were shed slowly. Clothes bodies became semi...clothed, then naked, and Grissom maneuvered his lover from straddling him to lying underneath the older man. Nick arched into his touches, eyes closed, completely trusting, looking to desirable, so delectable...
Grissom took his time, as if this was the very first time, and he explored the body so willingly spread out underneath him in detail. Nick's hands weren't idle either. They stroked and caressed and guided, arousing Grissom just as he was arousing Nick.
Pushing himself up on his elbows, Grissom looked at his younger lover, taking in the flushed skin, the dilated eyes, the partially open lips, and the smile on those lips.
"Not that I'm complainin'," Nick drawled, voice husky, "but somethin's buggin' ya."
"Nothing," Grissom murmured and sealed their lips together. "Not now," he added, breathing the words into the kiss. "Just want you."
Nick bent one leg, wriggling a little, and Grissom bit his lower lip as erections rubbed against each other. Blatant hint number three hundred and fifty...four.
So Grissom slid down the lithe body and paid attention to the hard arousal, making Nick voice his appreciation. Using his tongue, his lips, his fingers and a light scraping of teeth over sensitive skin, Grissom soon had Nick pushing into the wet warmth, wanting more.
"Gil...!"
Yes, much more.
Insistent hands scrabbled at his shoulders, wanting him to stop, to continue, to pick up the pace, to slow down ... anything...
Grissom finally let up, lightly fisting the straining hardness, smiling at the expression in his lover's face. Nick's skin was nicely flushed, his brown eyes dilated, and he was licking his lips.
"My turn," he whispered and Gil was surprised by the lithe movement that had Nick between his legs and himself on his back. Nick started to kiss and nip and running his hands over his body, caressing and stroking all the soft spots. Grissom could have screamed ... hell, he was sure he'd do that later anyway ... but now he wanted Nick so badly it shocked himself.
"Nick, please, don't tease... I... I need you ... "
Nick looked at him, stunned, for a split second. Then he bent down and kissed him, hard, speaking of a need of his own. Spreading Grissom's legs, Nick took the lube Grissom handed him, preparing his already whimpering lover. Grissom felt Nick's fingers inside him, stroking that certain spot ruthlessly, and he cried out with the sensation.
"... Nick ..."
And then he was there, slipping inside him in one long thrust, Nick was there, and he kissed him, and Grissom wrapped himself around the man he loved and needed and felt Nick's lips on his own, demanding, not asking, and he opened up, hearing himself groan and whimper far, far away. He didn't notice he dug his fingers into Nick's back, didn't notice his rough scream, didn't notice the involuntary trembling of his entire body as Nick's moves took him higher and higher and into a mind...shattering climax.
Nick groaned lowly, then carefully rolled to his side, taking his lover with him. Gil opened his eyes, hands weaving into his hair as he pulled him close into a deep and loving kiss. It had been a quite intense lovemaking.
"Love you, Nick," he muttered.
"Love you, too, Gil. Wow..."
"Like it?"
"Sure do, honey, Sure do."
"Don't call me honey ... snookums."
Nick snorted his laughter and claimed Gil's lips again, before reluctantly pulled away.
"So... about this thing you have...?"
Grissom gave him an angelic smile. "You like it?"
"Gil..." came the groan. "Bad. That was so bad."
Again, the older man kissed him and Nick let him, enjoying it too much to break the moment. "I liked it," Grissom whispered. "A lot."
"Not what I'm talking about."
Nick sat up, disentangling himself from his lover. He reached for a towel and quickly cleaned them off. Grissom watched him, watched the play of muscle, watched the expressive eyes, watched the man he loved.
"I'm a possessive bastard," he finally broke the silence.
Nick frowned. "Huh?"
Grissom was silent, his own expression carefully schooled.
"Gil?" he was prompted.
"Recent events... made me... clingy," Grissom finally elaborated, grimacing mildly. "I have this... urge to... be around you, protect you..." He sighed softly. "Conrad calls it protection anyway. I call it mother...henning."
Nick stared at him, then started to chuckle. "Ecklie's into couple psychology now?" He grinned more. "And you two share notes? Because if Franklin isn't clingy..."
Grissom tossed a pillow at him and Nick laughed more. He finally leaned forward and pressed a close...mouthed kiss onto Grissom's lips.
"You worry. Thank you."
That made Gil sigh a little. "You don't need a worry...wart..."
"Maybe. But it also shows you care. You love me. I think it's natural after what happened lately... I mean..." Nick hesitated, visibly steeling himself. "With the abduction..." His voice remained stable, not a waver in it, and Grissom felt a flash of pride. "And the crappy hike... scared my, too."
"Yeah," Grissom murmured. "It scared me a lot."
Nick lay down again, letting the older man hold him. He wrapped his arms around the solid form of his lover, holding Gil back in turn.
"I love you," he repeated.
Grissom pressed little kisses to every part of Nick he could reach, then finally looked into the dark brown eyes. His own were filled with emotions he couldn't express, but from Nick's soft smile his lover was reading them very well.
"We'll get through this," Nick promised.
Yes, they would. They were already coping, but sometimes, some thing revived those memories.
Grissom still kept his silence, just looked at him, into the liquid depth of chocolate brown. His hands framed the squarish face, brushed his thumbs over the prominent cheekbone, felt the light stubble on those cheeks. Like a blind man examining facial features, he let his fingers explore. Nick just held the blue gaze, letting him do what he needed.
"Even if we die, we will be reborn," Grissom finally said.
"Phoenix, yeah," Nick agreed softly.
"But it would change us."
"It won't change what I feel."
"No. It will only change our lives."
"We can adapt," Nick murmured, covering one hand with his own. "We will adapt. And I'm not dead, Gil. It was a close call, but I'm here. You're here. We have people who help us."
Yes, they had. Greg and Ecklie at the lab, Nandi and Franklin outside, and the Nexus on top of that. Grissom knew all that, but the fear had remained. Always the fear.
Nick kissed him, erasing those dark thoughts, and he let himself fall into his lover's warmth.
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