Title: Explanations
By: nancy
Pairing: Gil/Warrick
Rating: R
Summary: Gil and Warrick have a revealing discussion in bed.

It was a wonder whenever Gil woke up and found that other body in his bed. Long and lanky, strong and warm, Warrick took up a lot of space, even though he inevitably wound up sprawled over Gil in some fashion. Ever since the teams had been split up, Gil hadn’t been sure if what they had, whatever it was, would continue. It had seemed more of a convenience before that, to the younger man, at least to Gil. Stress relief after what were, invariably, very stressful shifts. They would have something to eat, something to drink, the others would vanish to wherever they needed, or wanted, to be and Gil and Warrick would wind up in bed together.

The first time he’d woken to find Warrick in his bed after the split, Gil had nearly had a heart attack. He’d certainly not woken when the other man had climbed into it, which was unusual in and of itself as he was a light sleeper. He’d been consumed with uncertainty, not knowing why Warrick was there, or what he wanted. They’d never talked about it, never seemed to need to talk about it. Of course, Gil had sure as hell never expected Ecklie to suddenly rise to power and break up his team, thereby inviting the need for him and Warrick to talk about whatever it was between them.

And now it seemed almost too late for talking. As if by speaking about this, Gil would break whatever magic spell had caused it in the first place.

Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was almost noon and frowned, suddenly realizing that Warrick had to have come over after he was asleep, and yet, there was no real reason for him to do so, since Warrick should have already been sleeping in his own bed, by then. His bladder made itself known right about then, so Gil carefully extricated himself from Warrick. A warm feeling slid through him when Warrick gave a sleepy complaint and burrowed into Gil’s pillow. He stood there watching the other man a long moment before going to the bathroom to relieve himself.

When he returned, Warrick had flipped over onto his back and was looking for him, awake, if not terribly alert. Gil hesitated, but continued on his way back into bed. It was still early for him to be awake and he actually had today off, so going back to bed for a couple of hours sounded perfect; especially with Warrick there. He rolled onto his side, as did Warrick, and they stared at one another for a long moment before Gil commented, “I didn’t expect to find you here when I woke.”

Warrick shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“Everything okay?” Gil questioned, concerned. He knew that Warrick and Catherine had had some friction recently and so asked, “Did something happen between you and Catherine?”

A flash of discomfort crossed Warrick’s face and he said slowly, “Sort of.”

Gil instantly knew what that ‘sort of’ was and couldn’t keep looking at Warrick.

“Nothing happened, Gris,” Warrick said softly, finger tilting Gil’s face back up. “Not what you’re thinking anyhow.”

Gil forced himself to ask, “So what did happen?”

“We kissed. It’s been building for a while, since last summer, and things kind of came to a head tonight. A real stressful case. She was alone, I was alone, we were at a bar and had had a couple…and we kissed.”

Keeping firmly in mind that Warrick was in his bed just then, not Catherine’s, Gil prompted softly, “And?”

A wry twist of the lips preceded Warrick’s answer of, “And nothing. Turns out it was all foreplay and nothing to back it up. Not on my side, anyhow. I remember thinking, ‘Gil’s a better kisser.’ And that’s when I stopped it and apologized and excused myself. I drove around for a long time, thinking things through, about us, you know? Couldn’t come to any real answers, ‘cause you weren’t around, so I went home. Tossed and turned for a couple more hours and then thought, ‘You’re being an idiot, just go over there.’ So I did. But you were asleep and you looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to disturb you. You don’t get enough sleep as it is.”

One of Warrick’s large hands cupped Gil’s face and he sighed a little, releasing the tension that had taken up residence on hearing about Catherine. He was used to other people looking twice at Warrick and really, it hadn’t seemed his place to get defensive about it. But Catherine wasn’t just ‘other people,’ and Gil knew it; the two of them would make a dynamic couple, strong-willed and beautiful together. He offered a faint smile and agreed, “I probably don’t.”

“So I guess what I need to know here, is if you feel for me, the same way I do for you,” Warrick asked slowly.

Just as unsure, Gil countered, “How do you feel for me?”

Warrick snorted. “Should’ve known you’d make me lay mine down first. I love you, Gris. Didn’t realize it at first, you kinda snuck up on me, but I do. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Gil was stunned and just blinked at Warrick for a few seconds. Of all the possible answers, he certainly hadn’t expected that one. Shaking off the paralysis, Gil protested, “Warrick, you can do so much better than me! You don’t want to tie yourself to, well, someone like me.”

“And just what kind of someone do you think you are?” Warrick questioned, blue-gray eyes intent.

Uncomfortable, Gil answered, “Well first, I’m fifteen years your senior. I have horrible people skills, I’m emotionally unavailable nine times out of ten, I think things through to death…”

“You love roller coasters. You have a pet tarantula. You take blood from new employees and make them give a sample of their...intestines,” Warrick interrupted.

“So?”

“So you’re not nearly as boring as you like to pretend, Grissom,” Warrick said with a grin. “You’ve got a wicked sense of humor, you’re so smart it’s scary, that beard of yours is damn sexy, and when you’ve got those glasses on? I just want to bend you over the nearest surface and fuck your brains out.”

Gil swallowed in unexpected lust, his body responding to both the words, and the heat in them. Shivering, he managed to keep his voice steady as he said honestly, “I don’t know what I feel for you, ‘Rick. I know that I want to be with you for the long-term future, but, I don’t know if I can call it love. I just, I haven’t had much experience with the emotion and what little I have, well, none of it was good.”

Warrick’s hand slid back, fingers combing through Gil’s hair, and he pulled him in closer, bending in to kiss him, slow and deep. Gil groaned and put his hand on the other man’s hip, shifting forward until they were flush together and he could feel the hard length of Warrick against him. Neither of them wore anything to sleep in, which had been a pleasant surprise for Gil, and he loved it even more just then at the touch of firm, warm flesh on his own.

When Warrick broke off the kiss, he told Gil, “Long-term future sounds pretty damn good to me. And you know I’m not asking for more than you can give, Gris. I know you been burned in the past, I respect self-preservation, but you’ve got to know, I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Not on purpose,” Gil whispered, shamed by the other man’s fearlessness.

Warrick shook his head. “Not ever. We’re going to butt heads, argue, whatever, but I will never hurt you.”

Gil wanted to protest that Warrick couldn’t promise something like that, no one could, but he wanted to believe it, too. So he sighed and rested his forehead against Warrick’s, acquiescing. Warrick’s mouth returned to his own in a drive of gentle possession and Gil opened to it eagerly, willing to be convinced. It was to his surprise, and disappointment, that Warrick again stopped kissing him an undetermined time later.

“We both have today off, so let’s go back to sleep. I think we could both use it more than we think,” Warrick said, in answer to his look. “We can continue this later.”

He didn’t even need to think about it to feel the lethargy competing with the need in his body. Gil had been up for thirty-six hours straight and from what little Warrick had said, his case had been equally as grueling, if not as long. Irritated, he nonetheless nodded and agreed, “Good idea.”

Warrick arranged him so that Gil was resting half-on him, arm slung across the broad chest and he was able to listen to the other man’s heartbeat.

My lover’s heartbeat, Gil silently acknowledged for the first time. It would probably take a long time for him to admit to that out loud, but he couldn’t hide the truth from himself any longer. He was in love with Warrick. It defied explanation or rationality, simply by existing, but it was real and it was true.

Feeling better with the internal confession, Gil sighed deeply, relishing the strong, gentle fingers as they scratched lightly through his hair, and closed his eyes.