Title: Over Coming Fear
Author: Mara
Pairing: Warrick/Gil
Rating: FRT
Scenario: Gil is afraid to get involved with Warrick, but reconsiders.
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. The names and characters found here in are the property of Jerry Bruckheimer and CBS. No infringements of these copyrights are intended, and are used here without permission.
Spoilers: None
Feedback: Yes

Gil was going over the reports one last time before he sent them to Conrad. The case was closed. The perp was in jail and all was well with the world, right. The door to his office opened and then closed again, just a little to loudly. Whoever it was didn't even bother to knock. Gil looked up irritated, about to ream out the person who had just invaded his space, but the pained expression he saw on Catherine's face stopped him cold.

"What's wrong, Cath?"

"I don't know, Gil."

"What do you mean you don't know? You look like hell."

"Ha, if you think I look bad you should see Nick."

"Are we going to have to play twenty questions here or our you going to tell me what the hell is going on?"

"Something is seriously wrong with Warrick!"

"What? Is he ill? Is he hurt? Tell me now!!

"He's not sick and he's not hurt, so don't get so excited. I don't know what's wrong with him. He's just not himself. In the last six days, he's barely said two words to anybody. It's like he's in a trance, just going through the motions. He's withdrawn, distant and irritable. It's like he's depressed. He doesn't seem to care whether he's here or not. Nick's really worried. You know how they love to compete. Nick can't even get a glimmer of interest out of Warrick lately. It doesn't appear that Warrick's been eating or sleeping much either. He's lost weight and he looks so haggard."

"Have you or Nick tried talking to him?"

"No, we just thought we'd wait until he collapsed or something! Of course we've tried talking to him, dumb ass! We've gotten absolutely nowhere. All Warrick will say is that he's fine, just tired and why do you look like you're about to pass out?"

"Ah, I'm fine, just worried about Rick. This doesn't sound good."

"It sounds about as good as you look right now. Is there something going on here that I don't know about? Do you know that you've changed three different shades of green in the last few minutes? You're the calmest person I've ever met. You shouldn't be reacting this way. What's up?"

"Nothing, Cath. It's just. This doesn't sound like Warrick. I've seen him down before, but he usually bounces back pretty quickly. Let me try talking to him. Maybe I can find out what's bothering him. Is he still in the building?"

"I think so. He said he had some paper work to finish and then he was going to the locker room to change. What makes you think you can get him to open up, when Nick and I couldn't?"

"Oh, I don't know. I just thought I'd give it a shot. We've worked together a long time on graveyard you know. I just think he might feel more comfortable talking to me."

"Uh huh, if you say so. Remember, I know you. I know what you're like and that look on your face tells me that you know exactly why, Warrick is behaving the way he is. So I'm going to ask you one more time. What--have you done?"

"Please, Catherine, just let me talk to him. Everything will be all right. I promise!!"

After she left, Gil had to think. He laid his head down on the desk and thought,'What the hell am I going to do‘?

It all started seven days ago. That's when Gil's whole world changed. Gil had just wrapped up a particularly nasty case. He hadn't eaten anything in about twelve hours. He knew he'd never make it home if he didn't stop and grab a bite, so he headed for the diner. After ordering his pancakes, he started reading some of his case notes while sipping on his decaf. He glanced up to find familiar green eyes looking at him intently.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself. You're up early. I thought this was your day off."

"It is. That's why I'm up early. I didn't want to waste the whole day, so I decided to grab some breakfast and then run some errands. I saw your Tahoe out front. I thought you might like some company. I haven't seen you in a while. How's it going, man?"

"Have a seat. It's going. I just cracked the case and I'm beat as usual. This was a tough one, but I survived it. How about you, things going ok?"

"Yeah, it's been kinda hard getting used to the swing shift. I miss being on grave yard with you and the gang."

"I know. I miss you and Nick. I even miss Cath's nagging. Things just aren't the same."

Gil's pancakes arrived and the waitress took Warrick's order. Gil had a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach, but he wrote it off, as lack of sleep. They pretty much ate in silence after that until they had finished and the time came to pay the bill and leave. At this point, Warrick touched Gil on the arm and asked him what he was doing tonight. Gil, having the night off didn't think to lie, so he said the first thing that popped into his head.

"Nothing, I'm not doing anything. Why?"

Warrick smiled that disarming smile of his--the one that made Gil's stomach do little flips. Gil had the feeling that Warrick was about to drop a bomb on him, but this was Warrick, so how bad could it be?

"There's a new restaurant, just opened up a couple of weeks ago. I thought you might like to check it out with me and then maybe we could go to a little jazz club, I know about after dinner."

"Ah, That's nice of you to ask, but don't you have better things to do on your night off then spend it with an old man?"

Warrick had this almost hurt look in his eyes when he said, "You don't want to go?"

Gil, just about melted into the booth from the tone he heard in Warrick's voice.

"I didn't say that. I just thought you'd want to spend you're night off with someone more exciting than me."

"Look man, if you don't want to go it's ok. I just miss talking to you. I don't get to see you much anymore. I thought maybe we could catch up. I'll see ya. Get some sleep. You look like you've been up for days."

"Wait! I'd love to have dinner with you and I haven't been to a jazz club in years. It's sounds great. Should I meet you at the restaurant?"

"If it's alright, I'll pick you up. How about eight? "

"Eight it is. I'll see you then."

"Great! See ya then."

Now, Gil's stomach was doing flips for real. This was bizarre. Warrick Brown had just asked him out to dinner and a jazz club. Why? That was the question. Gil didn't have an answer. There was definitely something going on with Warrick, but what? Well, Gil thought,'I'll just have to wait and find out tonight‘.

Eight o'clock came sooner than Gil expected and by the time the knock came at the door, Gil was so nervous he almost had the shakes. Why should he be so nervous? It was just dinner and jazz. It was just Warrick, his friend and co-worker for years. This made no sense. There was no putting it off. Gil took a deep breath and headed for the door.

"Hey, Gil. For a minute I thought you might have changed your mind. You haven't, have you?"

"No, I'm just old and slow you know. Ah, you look great,"

He did look great. Warrick was wearing a hunter green silk shirt and black trousers. There was a simple gold curb link chain around his neck. Gil caught the slight scent of musk that almost made him dizzy.

"Thanks. You look great too, but you need to stop referring to your self as old. You are not old and you've never been slow, so knock it off, please."

"Ok, but just for you. Tell me about this new restaurant. What kind of food do they serve?"

"I thought, I'd let it be a surprise, but I think you'll like it. It's a bit exotic, but not extreme."

"Just like you, Huh? A bit exotic, but not extreme."'Jesus, did I just say that? What the hell is wrong with me?' Warrick gave him a slight smirk and then proceeded to bat those green eyes at him before saying, "Lets go Gil. We have the whole night to play with."

Something in his tone sent chills up and down his spine and the word play kept lingering on in his head.

The ride to the restaurant was filled with casual conversation, a few jokes and some catch up gossip. Warrick, every now and then would give Gil a particularly sultry look that somehow managed to affect Gil's breathing. Gil thought,'God, he does look so good‘.

The restaurant was called Nawab and it served Indian cuisine. Dinner was delicious and the conversation was light. Gil was having a great time. Warrick was smiling a lot and even laughing. The evening, so far had been a good stress reliever. After dinner, they headed out to the club that was small and intimate. They grabbed a table, not to close to the front and somewhat secluded in a corner. They sat quietly and listened to the music, slow and sexy. The club was warm and smoky. Gil was never much of a drinker, so after his second one, he started to feel a little lightheaded. Warrick wasn't drinking because he was driving, so after about the forth set from the band, Gil was getting just a bit sleepy. It had been awhile since Gil had been out, actually enjoying himself. Warrick must have picked up on Gil's drowsiness, so he leaned over and asked if he wanted to go. Warrick knew that Gil had put in some long hours recently and didn't want too wear him out to badly.

When they arrived back at Gil's house, he invited Warrick in for coffee. Warrick accepted. When they got inside and Gil had the coffee going the conversation took on a new twist. It started off innocently enough, questions about recent dates. Gil said, he'd had that one date with Sophia, but she wasn't really his type. When Warrick was asked about--who, he had been dating recently; the answer was a big shock to Gil. Warrick said, "No one, not in almost a year."

"God, Rick. Why not? Women are always throwing themselves at you. You could have anyone you want, with not too much effort."

"The only person that I've ever really, truly wanted, doesn't feel that way about me. I guess that's why none of my relationships last very long."

"Rick, does the person you want, even know you want her? I can't believe that if she knew she'd reject you, unless she's married or already involved."

"No. The person has no clue. I've never been able to bring myself to say it out loud. I don't think I could stand the rejection. I'm just so tired of waking up everyday alone. It's been getting harder and harder to keep these feelings bottled up. As the years pass the feelings just get stronger. I thought I could deal with them, but I'm not sure I can anymore."

Gil questioned, "Years? You've been in love with this person for years and have never made your intentions known? That's insane; unless she's married you need to tell her how you feel about her. If she does reject you, at least then you'll know and be able to move on with your life. You can't keep this up, for your own sake, tell her and be done with it. I personally, can't picture anyone turning you down, not if they have any sense at all."

"You really think so?" I should just go for it? The repercussions be dammed, Huh?"

"That's exactly what I think. You can't go on like this. Do you really want to go through life wondering--what might have been?"

With that being said, Rick moved toward Gil and placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

"It's you, Gil. It's always been you!"

Talk about being hit by a sledgehammer! This was the last thing Gil had ever expected to hear coming from Warrick Brown. Gil could still hear the echo in his mind, "It's always been you". Before Gil, even had a chance to form a response, soft lips were ghosting across his again, more insistent this time. Rick's tongue was begging for entrance. Gil wrapped his arms around Rick's neck and opened his mouth. Rick deepened the kiss and slid his arms around Gil's waist. He gently ran his hands up Gil's back, eliciting a moan, of pure lust from Gil. By this time Gil was breathless and so hard it was almost painful. Gil was pressed firmly against Rick and they were gently rocking back and forth in a very intense rhythm. Gil started to come out of it, just as Rick began to unbutton Gil's shirt.

"Rick, Rick. Stop. Stop. Stop now!!!"

"Whatt... I'm sorry... I mean...you, you didn't pull away, so I thought."

"I know what you thought because I was thinking exactly the same thing. Rick, we can't do this. We have to think. Think about our careers. We're on Ecklie's shit list as it is. Do you really want to give him more ammunition against us?"

"I don't think this has anything to do with Ecklie or our careers. I think you're scared. I don't blame you. I'm terrified. I just want you to give me a chance. I know you want me. I could feel it. Please, don't deny it. We can take it slow. I'll give you all the time you need to adjust. Do you really want to walk away not knowing--what could have been? Your words, not mine."

"Rick, I can't. I'm sorry. I care about you, but I can't give you the kind of love and attention that you deserve. You're right. I do want you, but my work is everything. It always has been. This has to end here and now before it goes any further."

"I understand. Really I do. I don't blame you for being afraid of getting hurt. I can't promise that it will work out, but at least I'm willing to try. I love you. I always have."

"I'm so sorry, Rick. I just can't."

Rick knew that was that. Gil never changed his mind once it was made up. Rick let out a sigh and resigned himself to the inevitable.

"Well, I guess I'll be going now. I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to blind-side you like this. If this is what you really want, I promise I'll never mention it again. I'll respect your wishes. I just don't think I could stand to lose you as a friend. Please, tell me I haven't."

"You could never lose me as a friend. I'll always care about you and worry about you. You know if you ever need anything, I'll be there for you. I promise."

"I appreciate that. I hope you had a good time tonight, at least in the beginning. I know I did. I'll see you at work tomorrow. Get some rest and don't give me that look. I'll be fine. Good night."

"Rick, I had a great time. I'll see you tomorrow. Good night."

At that moment, Gil was as close as he'd ever been to actually shooting himself.

That was six and a half days ago. Gil had not been able to eat or sleep much either. The events of that night kept replaying themselves over and over and over again in Gil's head. All he could think about were those soft lips pressed against his and the way Rick's body felt wrapped around his own. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted it. Gil was just kidding himself. He knew full well that he loved Rick and wanted to spend the rest of his life with him--the job be dammed. Gil had to move. He had to get to Rick before he left.'What was he going to say? Was it already to late?'

An image of Rick, flashed in his mind, those soulful green eyes filled with so mush love.

Go Gil. Go. Go now!!!

By the time Gil reached the hallway he was at a dead run.

Gil made it to the locker room completely out of breath and gasping for air. He pushed open the door to find Rick sitting on the bench shirtless and half in tears. Oh God, Gil thought,'I'm going to have a stroke or worse, a massive heart attack‘.

Rick looked up to see Gil, pale and swaying as if about to pass out.

"God, what happened? You look awful! Here sit down. Better yet lie down. I'm going for help!"

"No!! I'll be fine. Just let me catch my breath. Rick please, I just need me a minute."

Rick sat back down on the bench next to Gil; and gently began rubbing his back. Soon Gil's breathing started to ease and his color returned to normal.

"You scared the shit out of me! I thought you were having a heart attack! Why were you so out of breath?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I was trying to catch you before you left. I seriously need to join a gym. I am way to out of shape."

"How did you know I was still here?"

"Ah, I had a conversation, with Catherine a little while ago. She said she was worried about you."

"That's just great! She's worse than a mother hen. Well, you shouldn't have listened to her. I'm just fine!"

"Sure you are. I can see that you're doing great. Me too. I've never been better! We both know that's bullshit!"

"Gil, Why'd you come? You made your feelings clear. I told you I'd be ok and I will be, honestly."

"Good, but I'm not sure I will be. You were right you know. I'm scared out of my mind. All I've thought about in the last six days is you. I can still feel your arms around me and your warm breath on my neck. You have no idea how much I want you, how much I want to hold you and kiss you, be with you. I'm not good at this. I've never had a long-term relationship. Things just never seem to work out. You know I'm a workaholic. I'm not sure I can give my all to a relationship. I want to badly. I never want to hurt you, but I might. I don't have any right to ask, but if you're still willing--I'd really like to try."

"Gil, I don't need twenty four-seven attention. I know your work comes first and I'm cool with that. I'm a big boy and can take care of myself. I don't just want to be your lover. I want to be your lover, partner and friend. We can work this out. I know we can."

"Rick, I'd really like you to kiss me now, please. "

"Ah Gil, were in the locker room at work!"

"It's deserted and I really don't care, please."

"I can't argue with that. Can you leave and come home with me?"

"Kiss me first then I'll let you know."

"That's blackmail."

"Yeah."

Gil sat at his desk. Same scene. Different day. He wasn't really concentrating on the reports in front of him. He had better things to think about nowadays. It had been three weeks since the encounter in the locker room and things were going surprisingly well. For the first time in his life, Gil was actually happy, relaxed and fulfilled. Sex with Rick was the most amazing thing. Gil was about to wrap it up and head for home, giddy with anticipation when the door opened and closed again, just a little to loudly.

"Doesn't anyone know how to knock?"

"Yeah, but that wouldn't irritate you nearly as much."

"Why are you still here? I thought your shift ended hours ago."

"It did, but I guess I'm becoming a workaholic, just like you."

"What's wrong now, Cath?"

"There's something seriously wrong with Warrick."

"What? I just saw him; a few hours ago. He was fine."

"Yeah, just a little too fine. The man is so deliriously happy, I'm afraid he might burst."

"Cath, there's just no pleasing you. You're worried when he's depressed and you're worried when he's happy. Make up your mind. Which way do you want it happy or depressed?"

"Well, he's a whole lot more fun when he's happy, so let's go with happy. I'm just more than a little curious as to what made him so happy. Maybe you could shed some light on this. You said you were going to talk to him and you always do what you say, so I figure, whatever you said had a drastic effect on Rick's attitude. Now, there's also the matter of your attitude lately. For the last few weeks you've been absolutely ecstatic. Care to explain why?"

"I am not ecstatic! In fact, I don't think I've ever been ecstatic in my life!" Catherine, I think your losing your mind. Maybe you should take a vacation."

"Uh huh, you are so full of it. Well, whatever's made the two of you so happy; keep it up, because it's a definite improvement. I was getting tired, of working with cranky, depressed people, all the time."

"Gil, with a ridiculous smirk on his face said: "Oh, I plan to keep it up! Trust me. I've got to go now, Cath. I've got places to go and things to do. I'll see you tomorrow. Please stop analyzing everything, it's becoming annoying."

"Bye Gil, give my regards to Rick."

"What makes you think I'll be seeing Rick anytime soon?"

"Oh, I don't know; maybe it's that evil glint in your eye.

Gil could still hear Catherine laughing, halfway down the hall.

End