Title: First Time
By: anmani
Pairing: Nick and Greg
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17.
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama
Disclaimer: They belong to the CBS and not me
Summary: Follows Greg's first days working at the LV CSI and his changing relationship with Nick.

The dry dessert air assaulted his entire body when he exited the airport terminal; it was so unlike anything he was used to. It felt like all the moisture was being sucked out through his skin, his nose felt as if on fire and he had to blink several times before his eyes adjusted.

Today was filled with firsts; first time in Las Vegas, first time to live in another state than California, first day or in his case first night at his new job and first time to have absolutely no known faces around. Somehow throughout school and college there was always someone he knew choosing the same as him.

An old friend of his mother had family in Las Vegas and she had arranged an apartment for him there. The key had been sent to him a week ago and most of his stuff had been packed and sent low budget to his new address which meant it would take another four to five days for it to arrive.

The cab ride seemed to take forever and it only took him through suburbs and low apartment blocks. Technically he knew it would be so, he had studied the map enough before he came to know that he was going no where near the infamous Strip.

The driver pulled in to a parking lot surrounded by a horseshoe shaped building two story high; he recognized it from the pictures he had received along with the key. Finally! He got his luggage out of the cab and literally sprinted up the outdoor stairs to the first apartment fumbled with the key and stood back when the stale air of nicotine escaped the place as the door swung open. His curiosity won over his senses and he dumped his things inside and started exploring *his* apartment.

There was a small kitchen that desperately needed cleaning; grease and nicotine dominated the small room. The living room had a pair of double doors that opened out to a balcony facing the street outside. The walls were yellow from years of smoking the carpet had several stains and burns. The master bedroom had a French balcony a worn out carpet and walls with a '70's designed wallpaper. The second bedroom was decorated as a nursery probably for a girl because of all the pink colors mixed together; walls had one carpet another ceiling a third and the window frame a fourth nuance. The bathroom had moldy added to the stale nicotine smell. There was a bathtub surrounded by an old shower curtain and a somewhat makeshift shower head. The toilet was brand new the kind with both a big flush and small one. The sink had a small mirror fitted above so small it would become a challenge to set his hair.

All in all a perfect place to start if you were handyman and not a DNA lab tech. At least he knew exactly what chemicals to use to fight the nicotine and the various fungi but the carpets definitely needed to be replaced.

He took his backpack and left to go shopping for cleaning products. On the way he had noticed a collection of shops so he went there to find a hardware store. An hour later he returned with the chemicals needed and some white paint which supposedly should be able to stop the nicotine. He left again this time to find basic kitchen equipment such as a coffee machine plates glasses pots pans and cutlery. One more trip got him his idea of basic groceries.

It was about six p.m. and he still had several hours to go before work started. For a short moment he considered sleeping but he had way too much energy pent up for that. So he started to clean the kitchen, his mother would've been so proud if she could see him right now. Next he attacked the bathroom to get rid of the mold growing there and reminded himself to get another shower curtain and a bigger mirror.

He had measured out the distance to the lab on the map he had bought weeks ago and calculated that it would take him around 40 minutes to walk there. When he left there was 1 hour and 50 minutes to his official start time.

The receptionist at the crime lab building handed him a visitors I. D. and told him where to go. It was nothing like he'd expected most of the walls were made from glass, so you could see into the various labs and offices and everything was clean and tidy. A head poked out from the office he stood next to.

"Can I help you?"

"Eh yeah I'm Greg Sanders. I'm looking for Jim Brass or Gil Grissom. It's my first day eh night here."

"Well I'm Gil Grissom." Greg took the outstretched hand and shook it politely. "Welcome. Brass isn't in yet, but I'll show you the DNA-lab."

"Thank you" he wanted to say something more but the other man motioned him to follow and he felt unusually tongue-tied.

"This is the breakroom, you can put your lunch in the fridge and the coffee is free."

Greg nodded and dug out the sandwich he bought on the way and placed it in there.

"This is the A/V lab, night guy is Archie he'll be in later."

Greg hurried after Grissom who had already moved on while Greg was looking at the equipment in the lab.

"This is the DNA-lab, where you'll be. Day and Swing shifts has their own technicians, so you share it with them." "Cool, so shouldn't there be someone here now?"

"Probably."

Grissom was already heading off again. "Locker-room. It is co-ed." He walked over to an open locker.

"This one is yours, the locks are combination padlocks so you set your own code."

"Thanks.."

"The rest of night shift will be in shortly. You can put your backpack away and meet us in the breakroom. I'll find a lab coat for you. Small?"

"I think so." Was all he managed before Grissom was out the door. He reminded him of a teacher he once had. Anything said more than once was a waste of time, brain and breath.

He removed his Discman and two CD's before putting the backpack into the locker, sat the combination on the lock and made a quick visit to the toilet. The breakroom was empty when he returned and there was no coffee, he went through the cupboards till he found the beans and filters, letting out a disappointed sigh when he realized the lousy quality of the coffee beans. Grissom entered with a blue lab coat for him, he slipped it on and it kind of felt like home. Again the other man was out of his sight before he managed to say anything.

He sat down facing the hallway. A few minutes later his mind got blown by the sight of the two men approaching. The tallest was afro-american, but with green eyes. The other was white with dark hair and really dark brown eyes and a killer smile. Both were around thirty and classic casual in their outfit. Greg jumped out of his seat as they entered the room.

"Hi I'm Greg Sanders, the new DNA tech on night." Grinning broadly he stretched out his right hand.

"Hi this is Warrick Brown and I'm Nick Stokes, we're CSI's on night." Brown-eyes said gripping his hand in a firm shake. Greg hardly knew what to do with himself two knockouts working the same shift as him. He shook hands with Warrick while getting himself together again.

Both men went straight for the coffee and the next thing he saw was a rather foxy lady walking towards him.

"That's Catherine Willows, she's also a CSI. Hey Cath meet Greg Sanders our new DNA tech." Nick called out and revealed his Texas accent.

"Finally; we've had some priority issues with days." She said and gave him a motherly smile and a firm handshake.

"Well rest assured I'm all yours. Your samples will be…" He was cut of by Grissom entering the room with another man.

"Greg Sanders, this is Jim Brass leader of night shift." More handshaking and then Brass handed out the assignments for the night.

Turning to Greg he said: "Go in and get familiar with the lab, so you're ready for them when they come begging for their samples to be processed as fast as possible. They can be some real crybabies when it comes to it." Smirking as he went after the CSI's.

He spent the night working the samples as they came in and talking to the other techs from the shift, who all dropped in to his lab to meet the latest addition to their group.

It was exciting and he felt really good about the whole situation, it was everything he hoped for and more. The added bonus was all the eye-candy around him, well until Hodges entered his lab. Greg was relieved to find that there was someone unattractive in the lab and it helped him to calm down. He had felt like a teenager with rampaging hormones since he'd met the CSI's, he often did that when he met new people. Over and over again had he received comments on his openness towards other people, but it was his nature no matter how many times it brought disappointment.

When the shift finished he was still bouncing all over the place and definitely not ready to sleep yet. The others all just seemed to be headed home no one was talking about going for breakfast or beer. He decided to go clubbing. He had heard about a gay-club that supposedly was open round the clock from some of his old friends and he had checked it out on the internet even found out what busses that would take him there.

So he chanced into his clubbing outfit and spiked his hair up with some glittering gel.

An hour later he was moving on the crowded dance-floor letting his body flow with the music. The club attracted a great variety of people from Pride Parade participants to guys in Armani suits. The music was loud the rhythm relentless and he loved it.

The dance-floor got lit up by the bright flash from a powerful strobe-light giving you the feeling of being in a movie with only 1 picture a second or so.

Greg was continuously eyeing everyone and flash; Nick Stokes 10ft away grinding his hip against an ass clad in leather. Flash; Nick 9ft away looking down and not touching anyone. Flash; Nick 8ft away squashed between two suits. His heart skipped a beat realizing that it was Nick dancing right there, he just appeared so bloody straight. Without thinking what to do or say he edged closer to where Nick was. The strobe was still firing adding a surreal feeling of not really being there.

Flash; Nick was next to him but still looking down on the floor. Flash; eye-contact and Nick looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Flash; Nick was turning away. Flash; Nick had increased the distance. Greg followed him on pure instinct why was the other man bolting; LVPD didn't use CSI's undercover or what. His mind was trying to find any explanation for Nick's panic but kept coming up empty.

He caught up with him at the edge of the dance-floor and grabbed hold of him. Nick tried to shrug free and he was hissing something that drowned in the music. Greg held on hard and dragged him towards the exit where they would have a chance to talk. Nick wasn't easy to coax but somehow he managed to get him to the wardrobe.

"Let go!" Nick was hissing at him and tried again to shrug free.

"Relax! I'm not out to get you, no need to panic!" Greg's voice was high-pitched with the agitation.

"I'm not panicking, just let me go!" he forced the words out through clenched teeth.

"Look can we just talk." Greg had regained control over his voice and had calmed down.

"OK. Outside." Nick gave in to the brown eyes staring at him.

Greg got his backpack from the RuPaul look alike and Nick his jacket from the bold woman in the combat attire. They went out into the now rather bright day that was promising to become really warm. Greg followed Nick to his truck not saying anything still trying to think of what to say.

"How the hell do you know about this place? What are you doing here? Did you follow me?" The questions just spilled from Nick.

Greg held a defensive hand up and started to explain about friends having been there on a holiday.

"Listen Nick. Take it easy. I got on a bus out here. I never picked you as gay. You flew way below my gaydar." Greg came to the conclusion that Nick was still deep in his closet and had probably no intention of ever leaving it.

"I… I just… I'm not. It's not like that." He stammered without persuasion. "Hey I'm not gonna "out" you!"

"Done that once and ain't never doing it again."

Nick gave him a quizzical look but remained silent, oblivious trying to wrap his mind around the situation.

"A boyfriend I had ages ago. My parents were totally cool when I told them and I just figured everyone would be. So I told his parents that we were an item." Greg drew a hesitant breath and continued.

"His dad beat him into a pulp, he spent 3 weeks in hospital and I was not allowed to visit. They send him to some Christian mind washing thing." Wincing at the memory and bracing himself for the next part.

"I've heard about them, kind of an AA for Christians infected with homosexuality." Nick's voice was low and trembling.

"Yeah. He got so upset he committed suicide 2 months after he started there. They preach that homosexuality is the worst sin. I went to one session. You know checking out the enemy." He said with a crooked smile. "They made it sound like murder and robbery was just minor mishaps compared to same sex relations as the preacher called it." Greg spat the last part out with disgust.

"Sorry I panicked. I come here to wind down when I've had a bad night. I'm not really sure about this…" Nick trailed of clearly showing his confusion.

"Don't worry. It's my first day here and I'm not gonna jeopardize this job over gossip about a co-worker." Greg rested a hand on Nick's upper arm trying to be as comforting as possible.

"Besides I have no idea of what is acceptable at the lab yet and I know quite a few gays who have lost their jobs just because of that." He sighed. "Nick I won't tell and I prefer to tell people myself when I think they're ready to hear it."

"Thanks I guess." Nick gave him a very cautious look.

"Can I give you a lift?" Nick asked remembering to be the gentleman his momma had taught him always to be. Greg nodded and smiled and climbed into the passenger side of the truck. Once Nick was in he told him his address and then fell silent thinking about what Nick had said.

"Wind down?"

"Yeah. You know get all the shit I see every night out of the system. It builds up and sometimes I just need to let it out."

"Well dancing is a lot better than drinking." Said a laughing Greg.

"Oh yes. First of all no hangovers and secondly it's good exercise." Nick said relaxing somewhat and turned the radio on. Greg winced at the country music blaring out. He kind of figured that it was Nick's normal taste and the club was just his way to let out steam.

"Not your thing or what?" Nick asked.

"Nah, the club was more spot on, heard about Nine Inch Nails?"

Nick nodded: "And that is definitely not something I like."

The rest of the ride they talked about music and Greg's rundown apartment.

When Nick pulled into the parking lot closest to Greg's apartment turning the engine of he said: "No way it can be as bad as you say!"

"Well you can come up and have a look see." Greg wasn't sure what Nick wanted, but you can't blame a guy for trying.

Nick followed him up and let out a gasp when the still stale air hit his nose. Greg gave the quick tour opening doors and windows to refresh the air. Then he headed for the fridge to get a couple of water bottles he threw Nick one and emptied his own realizing it was way overdue.

"Do you need any help painting?" Gentleman Nick stepped into action again.

"Eh, you really wanna do that?" Greg was utterly clueless by now. 'What does the guy want?' he couldn't quite figure Nick out.

"Well I went to the club to wind down, but then you showed up…" He fumbled for the words.

"Guess I just need to keep busy for some few hours more before I can sleep."

"Ok. Well there's plenty to do, the walls need washing, except the small bedroom, that wallpaper has to go."

"Pink's not your thing?" Nick smirked.

"Not like that." Greg grinned big time.

Nick borrowed an old t-shirt from Greg and a pair of baggy surfer-shorts. He looked so out of place somewhat like an Eskimo in Sahara, Greg thought, but he was efficient in getting the pink wallpaper of.

When it came to put up the new wallpaper Nick got a TKO in less than a minute.

"It's payback for you did to its ancestor." Greg mused at Nick.

Nick flushed bright red clenching his hands around the roll of wallpaper he was holding.

"Damn it. I just don't get it. It looks so bloody simple."

"Hey don't worry I really appreciate all your help, you can go home now."

"Why don't I start washing the walls in the hallway, what do you want it washed with?"

Greg instructed him on the wall washing and returned to the wallpaper. They talked about everything and nothing until Greg finished. By now they were both exhausted so Nick left without changing his clothes. 'Wonder when he realizes?' Greg thought as he got his sleeping bag out and decided on sleeping in the kitchen, since it was the cleanest floor in the place at the moment.

All in all his first 24 hours in Las Vegas had been everything he had expected and a lot more. He fell asleep thinking about Nick wearing nothing but a cowboy hat.

It was his second night in Las Vegas; he had gotten up at sundown showered shaved and eaten Fruit Loops before going out into the evening to get to work. Was it really that easy to change the day around or would it hit hard some time tonight he wondered. He bought real coffee beans on his way, no way his was going to drink that crap he had last night again if he could do anything to help it.

The receptionist gave him his new ID card now complete with name and picture when he arrived at the lab. He smiled his biggest smile at her and bounced down the hallway; 'this is so fucking great!' He felt like screaming it out loud to let the whole world know his excitement, but he checked himself and just did a spin with an imaginary dance partner.

Armed with hot coffee and a couple of CD's he headed towards the DNA-lab. There was another tech in there looking tired an irritated.

"Hi I'm Greg Sanders. I started here last night."

"So I heard" grunted the other.

"Dayshift left a shit load for us to process. Get it done so it'll be ready for them in the morning. Goodnight!" He said leaving the lab in a very messy state.

Not exactly the kind of start he had imagined for the night. Armed with coffee and music in his ears he started testing the various samples. Greg was so absorbed in his work and his dancing to the music that when Warrick came in tapping his shoulder he jumped spilling the solution he'd just carefully measured up.

"Give me a chance here!" Pulling his earplugs out looking quite startled.

"Just came to get the results." Warrick said headshaking.

"Maybe you should keep the volume down so you can hear what is happening around you." A smile spread across Warrick's face.

"So you want to know what I have found out regarding your sample." Greg clearly pronounced every single word dragging the suspense out. This immediately gave the other a deep frown. Greg had already yesterday discovered Warrick's lack of interest in long explanations but he just couldn't help himself. A knock on the doorframe from Grissom led to the fast explanation and the two CSI's left satisfied with what they had learned.

When the shift ended he had caught up with the work leftover from the dayshift and he could leave a clean desk behind.

On his way out Nick caught up with him. "Do you need a lift?"

"Nick you don't have to I'm fine with the bus."

"Come on, have you seen the Strip yet?"

"No. Can't say that I have." Greg halted debating with himself over what was more important; fun or painting.

"Listen I can help you with the painting, we'll just drive down the Strip get some chow and then go to your place." He thought he heard a slight pleading in the Nick's voice.

"Ok. Since you're offering." Greg resigned and decided that Nick might just be lonely.

He should have suspected that Nick was a health freak, with his perfect body. Still the salad takeout was a surprise. A least Nick had bought some with meat in them. The drive through town had been exhilarating to say the least even at this early hour the city was full of life. Nick pointed the various casinos and hotels out for him as they drove down the Strip adding a few comments on the crimes they had dealt with in those places. Greg felt like a kid in the Disney World for the very first time, it was so overwhelming he had to force himself to blink and breathe.

"Do you need any shopping done?"

Nick's question yanked his mind out of its trance over dazzling Vegas.

"Eh? I…eh, maybe."

"That's useful. Paint, butter, screws or coffee?" Nick asked teasingly.

"Hey give me a break here. I just had all my senses bombarded."

"Something to drink other than water. So I guess a supermarket would be a good idea." His mind back to the present.

"Ok. Anyone you prefer or just the nearest."

"Just the nearest, remember I'm new in town." Flashing a big smile to Nick.

Somehow the few bottles of soda he had in mind turned into a half full shopping cart in no time. Back at his apartment he unpacked while Nick got changed into the work clothes he had brought with. They ate their salads standing at the kitchen counter. 'Got to get some furniture soon and why had he working clothes with him? What am I missing here?' He wondered if he would ever figure out what Nick was up to.

"So Nick is this your normal welcome to new people at the lab?" Nick flushed bright red at Greg's question.

"No eh I…"

"Not that I mind I'm just curious." He stated when Nick didn't continue.

"Well I'm kinda new here too and just thought that you might like it if someone helped you to settle in. I know I would've." Nick stared intently at his salad while forcing the words out. Greg gave him a light pad on the back.

"I appreciate what you're doing and thank you." He was trying to make Nick feel at ease again.

Soon after they started working on the master bedroom. Greg had decided to change the wallpaper in there as well. They worked in companionable silence until they had stripped about half of the walls.

"Maybe it's because you know."

Greg who was lost in thoughts about extracting DNA from teeth only managed a questioning sound.

"You know… about the gay-club." Nick hesitated.

"Oh. But I told you already that I'm not gonna tell anyone about that. So you helping out are just to ensure that I keep quiet?" Greg couldn't help but wonder.

"NO!"

"Take it easy. I'm just trying to understand. Ok?"

"Ok. Maybe it's because I don't have to hide it from you. I don't know. It was just nice yesterday working and you know talking without thinking about hiding."

"Oh man. You're in trouble if that's how you think."

Nick had stopped his attack on the wallpaper and he seemed so utterly lost, that Greg felt a sting in his heart.

"I don't even know if I'm a 100% gay or not. I mean I've been with a lot of women but never anything serious. I just don't know. I have never discussed it with my family. I know my momma just goes: Don't you worry Nicky-boy there's a nice little lady out there for you and you'll find her in due time." The words came stumbling out.

"Well technically I'm bi, but I prefer to say that if it is legal and consensual I'm game." Greg flashed a big grin at Nick hoping that it would comfort him somehow.

"Did you tell them when you applied for the job?"

"Nah it only said marital status, so I checked the single box."

"What would you've said if they'd asked you?"

"Probably what I just told you. I can't hide something like that. It's not a way that I can live with Nick."

Stopping his work and seeking eye contact with him.

Nick let out a noticeable sigh and returned to work.

"No offense man. I'm just from a different place and family. Just because I couldn't doesn't mean that I don't respect your choice."

"It just scares the living daylights out of me when I start to think about coming out. You know?" It seemed like Nick was telling it to some spot on the wall. Greg could feel a remark about nightshift and daylight on it's way and kept his mouth shut. It wouldn't go down well at the moment and he really didn't want Nick panicking. Now that he was finally talking.

"I guess it would be like me telling my parents that I joined the Ku Klux Klan or something like that."

"I know quite a lot of parents in Texas that would burst with pride if junior came home and announced something like that." Nick began to loosen up again. It started a discussion about racism throughout time and the rest of wallpaper surrendered. Once Greg started preparing for the new wallpaper to go up Nick went into the other bedroom to wash the nicotine stained pink ceiling so it would be ready for some white paint.

A little after noon they started quizzing each other on the periodic table just to have something to keep them going. An hour later Nick announced that he needed to go home and get some shuteye. Greg had lost the bounce in his movement by then and couldn't have agreed more.

He walked to work and the night went with testing and flirting with almost anyone who dared enter his lab. 'Yep this is definitely what I want.' He mused as a puzzled Archie left him to his coffee and samples. Nick stopped by a few times more than necessary talking about the weather and baseball. Greg had only been interested in the weather when he could go surfing and baseball wasn't really his thing, he preferred men in better fitting clothing when it came to sports.

When the shift ended Nick again offered him a ride and help. Greg took it insisting on paying the takeout and that it be Thai. They painted the walls and ceilings in the two bedrooms that day. The conversation of the day was mostly about how to analyze different kinds of evidence and Greg just absorbed all the knowledge Nick had worked up over his first few years.

The following week passed in mostly the same way. Greg's stuff didn't arrive on time, no surprise really but annoying since he had started to miss a few things. He had bought bookcases for the study and a small table for the kitchen with two chairs to go along.

Any other furniture would have to wait until his first paycheck. The carpet changing had drained far heavier on his savings than anticipated. Somehow he didn't mind, getting this place right was far more important than getting everything at once.

Even though he had spent so much time with Nick he was still very clueless about the other man. It didn't seem to be intimacy that Nick came for because only work related touches had happened in the past week. He knew that Nick had said it was because he didn't have to hide but still was that all?

Greg was very aware of how he felt himself; of slowly falling for those dark brown eyes that big smile and the flush in the Texans cheeks.

He also knew it was a road to nowhere, Nick would never return his feelings at least not in public and living in secrecy was not an option. He knew he would blow such a secret by accident eventually. He knew his own mouth well enough to know that someday he would just blurt it out without thinking.

Nothing to worry about though Nick would never dare enter into a romance with him. Would he?

"Penny for them?"

Catherine jolted his mind back to the present.

"Sorry, just lost in planning for tomorrow. My stuff is finally coming only three days late."

"Yeah that'd be right. Nothing gets delivered on time unless you pay real good money for it. By the way Greg you do get real good money so where is my sample?"

"Coming up just give the machine a chance." He said pulling the freshly printed sheet for her flashing his best smile at her. For the rest of the shift he kept his mind on work and luckily Nick was out to a scene for the most of the night.

"Do you want a hand when your stuff arrives?" The question came as expected and Greg happily accepted remembering how heavy some of the boxes were and it would give Nick the opportunity to be the perfect gentleman.

Greg's stomach had by now gotten used to the reversal of schedule and the hot Texas chili pot went down without problems. Nick scolded him for drinking coffee with it, but each man has his own favorite poison and for Greg coffee had become essential a long time ago.

It was nearly 10 am before the delivery truck arrived. The driver unloaded the four pallets with Greg's boxes left them on the pavement and drove off. It took them more than an hour to get all the boxes inside and the pallets into the back of Nick's SUV.

"Ok let's find box number 7 and 8."

"Why are they only numbered?"

"Hey loading it onto a truck and not knowing who's to handle my stuff, no way I would write on them what they contain."

"So what's in 7 and 8?"

"Find them and you'll see."

"Hah I've got 7 here." Nick started to dig into the box and retrieved a dark blue bean bag.

"Is this your idea of furniture?" Nick was now sporting his big smile, the one that would make anyone cave into full confession.

"There's more. And don't make fun of my bean bags. Grandpa Olaf gave them to me for my tenth birthday."

"Aha a PlayStation I should've known. What games have you got? You wouldn't happen to have a TV in one those." Nick was quickly scanning the other boxes to see if any of them would give him the answer.

Greg triumphantly held up a small TV and a few games. It didn't take them long to set up the PlayStation and soon they were slumped in a bean bag each racing against each other.

When Greg had outrun Nick for the fifth time he decided to call it quits.

"I don't know how to repay you for all your help. I guess I owe you big time man."

"Hey no worries, my pleasure."

"Listen Nick not to be rude or anything, but I would kind of like to do the unpacking myself. You know just so I know where I put everything." Greg tried not to sound dismissive.

"G. I understand. My momma helped me unpack. It took me ages to figure out where my can opener was." Nick didn't sound put off and Greg felt oddly relieved.

"The pallets were to go back to the freight company right?"

"Oh yeah. I had forgotten about them." Greg sighed he was really far too exhausted to do more that day.

"Why don't I drop them off on the way home? It's no big detour for me."

"Nick you are way too good to me you know that?"

"But I'll really appreciate you dropping them off; I'm busted for the day."

"No problem. See you tonight Greggo."

Greg went for box number 11 which had his pillows and sheets. He quickly arranged them in the small bedroom shoving the sleeping bag into a corner. The image of Nick naked except for the cowboy hat left a wide smile on his face as he drifted of to sleep.

Greg had now worked three weeks in the lab and was beginning to build up his routine.

He would walk there taking a slightly different route each night to familiarize with the neighborhood. Once there usually 20 minutes early he would put his lunch in the fridge and brew a new pot of coffee. Then deposit his backpack in his locker; put his lab coat on and retrieve his coffee before entering the DNA lab. Here he would play catch up with whatever the other shifts had left over along with processing what came in during his own shift.

Tonight started out like the others until Nick came back all angry and snapping at anyone within a 10ft range. He stormed into Greg's lab and practically threw his samples at Greg.

"Page me when they're ready!" Nick's voice was high pitched and on the point of breaking.

"You don't…" Greg trailed of as he saw the desperate anger in Nick's eyes.

"I'll do them as fast as the machines allow me." Hoping it would prevent Nick from tearing his head of. He had never seen the Texan in such a state it scared him and he felt his own energy drain right out of him.

Nick took off to the locker room without saying or doing anything else. He spread out the samples Nick had dumped and started to analyze them. Sometimes he felt blessed that he didn't have to see the actual victims; that he would just have swabs with saliva, blood or semen. In this case there seemed to be all three and some scrapings probably from under somebody's fingernails.

"Did Nick come by?" He jumped by the sound of Warrick's question, the man had a feline stealth and several other cat qualities.

"Oh yeah. What's up with him?" Greg said as he readjusted on the chair.

"Child abuse according to Catherine. He ain't too good with that kinda thing."

"I think he headed to the locker room. But I've never seen him so… upset."

"Thanks Greggo, I'm gonna go check on him."

Once he had the results ready he paged Nick hoping that he had calmed down. A rather dazed Nick came and got the results, Greg gave him the short version and the other man left without saying anything in return. He returned to his other samples and when he had just started to see the end of the line Catherine came in with a rape-kit.

"Cases like those tonight make me hates this sinful city." She stated meekly.

"Guess I'm the lucky one, I don't get to see the ugly stuff. I just get nice small contained samples."

"Hmm. Do you know if Nick is around? Cases with children don't go well with him."

"Not since he came and picked up his results. He looked dazed and smelled of mint on puke." He'd only now realized it and his brain didn't catch up with his mouth.

"According to the short recap Grissom gave me, it is very understandable."

"Well you can spare me the details." It was hard enough dealing with the image of an upset Nick he didn't need mutilated children to go with that.

The night dragged it self towards sunrise, it felt like a long winter night in Oslo. He finished his shift and on his way to the locker room he saw Nick leaving obviously in a hurry. "I come here to wind down!"

Desperately he tried to remember what kind of case Nick had been working on the first night he was here. When he came up short he decided to go to the club even though he was saving up for that damn couch he had seen two days ago. It took him almost an hour before he arrived and with mixed feelings he recognized Nick's SUV sitting in the parking lot.

With his backpack in the wardrobe he made his way to the crowded dance-floor hoping he would find Nick here instead of in some bathroom stall fucking a random guy. He had covered nearly three quarters of the floor before he saw him. Nick was grinding his crotch up against a tall skinny man. When Greg got a closer look at the skinny man he knew for sure that he was spaced out on something, probably ecstasy.

He danced his way in between them and turned towards Nick taking over from the skinny guy who didn't seem notice much at least he didn't make any trouble for Greg.

It lasted a half song before Nick recognized him and then he just threw his arms around Greg's neck. Song after song they danced with each other, even when he felt like he had lead in his shoes he continued for Nick's sake. Their bodies were hot and sweaty and Greg wanted to touch, to kiss, to caress every last bit of that body right there in front of him. But somehow he knew it would be the worst thing to do, Nick needed to trust him not fear him.

Not many slow songs got played at the club, but during one Nick clung to him and asked if they could go home. Greg lead him carefully of the dance-floor and out to the wardrobe where he got his backpack and ensured that Nick had his stuff. Knowing where Nick had parked he steered him there; Nick had surrendered completely to Greg's control.

"Let me drive Nick." Leading Nick to the passenger side and getting the keys seemed like the easiest thing in world. The Texan had up till now proved a complete control freak when it came to his SUV. No putting your feet up, no eating, no dragging sand in and definitely no chance in hell driving it. He helped Nick getting in and strapped him in. When he entered Nick had pulled his feet up and sat hugging his knees, Greg concentrated hard on adjusting his seat and the mirrors; just so he wouldn't start to panic over Nick's behavior.

Nick had never told him where he lived and right now it wasn't important; Greg needed to keep him safe and his own apartment would work just fine since Nick already knew the place. He had never driven a vehicle this size and it made him feel uncomfortable, but not nearly as much as Nick did right now. It seemed to take forever to get home, once there he parked and took Nick's gym-bag from the back and his own backpack before going to get Nick out. He guided the other man into his apartment and dropped the bags on the floor.

"Ok Nick let's get you of those clothes and into some dry ones." Gently pushing him towards the bedroom. Nick's eyes cleared up a bit and he took the t-shirt Greg handed and headed of to the bathroom. Greg rearranged the pile of blankets on the floor to accommodate sleeping for two rather than one. He slipped out of his own sweaty clothing and brought out and old college t-shirt from the box currently storing his t-shirts.

"Oh Nick, there's a new toothbrush on the shelve beneath the mirror you can use that." It didn't take long before the characteristic sound of teeth brushing was heard.

When Nick finished Greg guided him to the *bed* and went to the bathroom himself.

Returning to the bedroom he saw Nick sitting and hugging his knees again. He eased himself down next to him and put his arms around Nick for comfort. That movement was like hitting a switch and Nick started to cry. At first just small sobs but they soon gathered strength and along with the heavy flow of tears he started babbling. Greg could only understand a few words such as: babies, sorry, beaten, never, hate and rotten.

Greg didn't speak he just held the other man in a firm unmoving grip, remembering that his dad had always comforted him like that as a small boy. His mother had cooed and caressed but he simply didn't have the energy for that.

After a while he gently guided Nick to lie down, such that his ear was placed on Greg's chest. A heartbeat should be the best thing to calm you down, Nick complied and his tears subsided into sniffles. Greg had no idea how long it took before Nick drifted of to sleep, but he felt an immense relief and allowed himself to drift of as well. For once not thinking about Nick wearing only a cowboy hat.

He was skating on the ice with the other kids when he saw his dads car approaching. Daddy honked the horn a couple of times as always and stepped out of the car, so why did the honking continue?

Greg slowly came up to the surface; remembering that the redhead in number 22 got picked up every evening by a blue '67 Mustang.

His brain kicked into overdrive when he realized he was holding somebody, trying to remember what had happened. Nick had happened. They were both lying on their sides and he had more or less wrapped himself around Nick that had curled into a fetal position. He stayed put figuring any sudden movement would startle Nick. He was convinced that Nick had experienced something real bad once involving children. Had he lost a child of his own or a sibling or had he witnessed some hideous crime committed to a child?

Greg wasn't sure he actually wanted to know; it had the general feeling of Pandora's Box.

He couldn't see his alarm clock from here, but given the honking work was still more than 4 hours away. Nicks breathing was steady and even. Greg hadn't got the most efficient blackout curtains so he could easily make out every single strand of hair on Nicks head. Slowly he studied the sleeping man as much as possible without moving.

He hadn't noticed Nick waking up until Nick grabbed his arm and tucked it even closer than it already was.

"Thank you Greg." Nick's voice was barely a whisper.

"You're welcome." His own reply not much louder.

"What time is it?"

"Four hours to work." Greg said still not daring to move.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have…"

"Nick it is ok. You needed a shoulder to cry on. And after all the help you've given me, if I can repay you like this I'll be happy to." Giving the Texan a reassuring squeeze.

A distinctive rumble from Nick's stomach made them both laugh and the seriousness lifted from them.

"Ok. Why don't I make us some breakfast, then you can grab a shower. I just have to pee first." Releasing Nick he went to the bathroom, when he returned Nick was sitting up looking around the room.

"You've kept it simple hah?"

"Well wardrobes and beds don't come cheap so this'll do for a while yet." He felt considerably relieved that Nick hadn't bolted out the door. Greg threw a clean towel at Nick and started for the kitchen.

"Greg have you got a shirt I can borrow, I've only got clean boxers in my bag, everything else is dirty." He winced at the last part but didn't explain it further.

"Sure. Your bag is in the living room and I think I've even got a pair of jeans in your size." Greg dove into a box and Nick retrieved his gym bag.

"Voila." Greg handed him a pair of old worn jeans and a shirt in pale green. Nick looked at the pieces of fabric offered with an inquisitive look.

"I'll tell you over breakfast."

Greg figured that pancakes would do the trick, he was actually quite proud of his pancakes. He made them from scratch no easy deal with any prefab mix. Soon the smell of coffee and pancakes filled the kitchen and his head reminded him that he had forgotten to drink water after all the dancing. A liter of water and two saline pills later Nick entered the kitchen sniffing in greedily. Looking good in his borrowed feathers.

"G. That smells like heaven."

"I know. Would you mind baking the last few while I shower?"

"Sure no problem." Nick said taking the spatula from him.

Greg showered shaved and did his hair in record time, he was unsure about leaving Nick alone for too long. Nick had just finished with the pancakes and was now rinsing the pan and Greg got a good look of his ass in a snug fit in Sammie's old jeans.

When Nick sat down he started to rub his neck, Greg had seen him do it before but had yet to figure out what it meant; whether it was a sign of pain or tiredness or hard thinking.

"Did you get a stiff neck from sleeping on the floor?"

"Nah, I've just a got a headache, probably because I didn't drink enough water last night."

"Behold the perfect cure is coming up. A liter of water two saline one vitamin and one aspirin ought to do the trick." Greg pronounced as he got the pills out of one the cupboards and placed them in front of Nick.

"Whose jeans am I wearing?" He asked after emptying his big glass of water.

"They used to belong to an old girlfriend." He made a deliberate pause to see the look of disbelief on Nick's face.

"She had a shorter back compared to you, blue eyes and blonde hair, but apart from that her body looked a lot like yours." Another pause to let it sink in.

"She was a soldier with some special group."

"Wow. She must have been something else." Nick managed between two big mouthfuls of pancake.

"Yeah, but she dumped me after having been on a mission." Greg's brow furrowed at the memory and he gulped down half his coffee.

"She came over to my place and said: Listen Greggy I can't do this to you, so we better stop it now."

"I was speechless and had no idea of what she was taking about. She carried on telling me something about the miserable lifestyle we would be living and she not wanting me to suffer like that. I'm guessing she had seen some bad stuff and didn't feel like sharing it. So she grabbed her things and left. But those jeans and some socks and t-shirts of hers were in the laundry. She probably knew but didn't want to come back for them. I had only been to her place twice and hadn't left anything so that was just it when she left."

Greg poured some more coffee and munched down some pancake carefully trying to decipher Nick's facial expression before continuing.

"Her name was Sammie and I had fallen big time in love with her the summer I finished High School and since I didn't leave town to study chemistry I could spend the evenings and weekends with her. It was just after New Years that she dumped me."

"I've never been in love with a woman." Nick's confession didn't really surprise Greg, but it added to his fear. The fear that the Texan was so far gone in his effort to hide himself that he could never be a whole person; never be someone that could live and love in a relationship.

"I think I've been in love twice. Once in High School and once just after moving here." Nick was fiddling with the pancake on his plate as he spoke.

"The first was all about keeping the secret, no one could know. Eventually we fought over that more than we loved each other. Here in Vegas I broke it off after two months because I thought I had seen Eddie one night when where we out clubbing." The pancake looked like it had had an accident with a blender.

Greg reached out and took Nick's hands into his owns.

"I hope you'll find the courage to fall in love some day. Because it is awesome, butterflies in your tummy, sleepless nights only thinking of that person and the exploring of another body."

"Greg how do you know all this? How come you're such a good listener? I mean you come off all like the energizer bunny at work."

"Well my dad is a good listener and always calm whereas my mother is all over the place doing a million things at once. I know they hoped for me to be in between but good old Greggo became both." Cocking his head and smiling it had the desired effect as Nick's smile also appeared.

They finished their meal and made sandwiches to bring as lunch and did the dishes. Greg had started a monologue about the furniture he had been looking at and wanted to buy, knowing he couldn't handle much more of the serious stuff right now.

On the way to work Nick carefully asked if this day also went to the confidential category, Greg spent 10 minutes reassuring him that of course it did.

"Anyway Nick anytime you wanna go dancing all you have to do is ask. And if you don't want to be obvious we could make a code for it."

"You'll really do that for me?"

"Off course Nick as long as you'll be the strong man whenever I need one."

The shift was less stressful for all and in the morning he walked home enjoying the early sunlight and longing back to the beach. It was the first time he had felt homesick at all. Was it all the stress with Nick yesterday that had brought it on he wondered. When he laid down to sleep his head was filled with the image of Nick crying and it made his own tears flow in a quiet stream.

Four weeks in Vegas had already passed; he had gotten over his short bout of homesickness and now that his first paycheck had arrived things were looking better.

As most evenings he was walking to work and tonight he took the same route as on the first night. They say that nothing grows old in Vegas and tonight proved it. Two shops were under reconstruction one had a clearing sale and the cozy Greek restaurant two blocks away from the Lab was now a salad bar. The thought of salad lead him to think of Nick who was still quite an enigma to him. To begin with he was sure Nick wouldn't know of him because he knew, but he had continuously sought his company even though Nick often spent half the time apologizing for being such a burden. Most of the time he enjoyed having Nick around laughing or crying that was okay; but the excuses the fears the apologies and the denials were all heartbreaking. Technically so was the crying but he figured that since he was able to comfort Nick it wasn't that painful.

'Now you've gone and done it again Greggo thinking about that man. You should focus on getting to work.' He found himself lost in thought more and more lately and always with Nick in the focus.

A quick survey of the parking lot told him that only Grissom was in yet, sometimes he wondered if the man ever went home. The thought put the smile back on his face and when he walked down the hallway he was his usual energetic self. Coffee on and backpack in the locker and then Gruesome Grissom broke his routine by calling him into his office.

"Greg you are of Scandinavian descent right?"

"Yep I'm mostly Norwegian why?"

"Well I've just come across this mosquito that supposedly should be from Norway."

"Aha, well I've only been there three times I'm third generation here."

"How much crossbreeding does that implicate?" Only Grissom could ask something like that. But instead of feeling insulted Greg felt rather curious and started explaining.

"Since the Vikings are my ancestors I believe that there was already plenty of crossbreeding a thousand years ago. They raided far off countries and brought slaves back with them. But three of my grandparents are all Norwegian and the fourth is of English and Polish heritage. If that is what you mean?"

Grissom gave him a little small crooked smile and held out a paper bag. "Put your hand into it."

Greg did as told and regretted it the instant he felt the sting. Grissom was holding the bag closed around his wrist when he wanted to pull his hand to himself.

"Aw. What have you got in there it freaking hurts?!" His voice pitching much higher than normal.

"The mosquito I was telling you about. I just want to see the normal reaction pattern compared to how others have reacted." The man all innocence.

"The normal reaction! It itches like hell and I'll scratch it till I go mad. I hate mosquito bites." The hurt in his voice was way too obvious for his own liking, but he knew he had walked straight into that one.

"Greg you can't touch it. It's an experiment!" The things that man would demand but Greg had a feeling that he had probably already done it himself.

"Do you really expect me to leave it alone?"

"Yes of course. It is an experiment and I want a picture taken every half hour tonight to document." Greg just looked unbelieving at him.

"Sure okay." He walked of towards his coffee awaiting in the break room where he found Archie filling a water bottle.

"Why the long face man?"

Greg just showed Archie his already swelling hand.

"Ouch! Another one of Grissom's experiments?"

"Aha. Some supposedly Norwegian mosquito that he wanted to see the natural reaction to." Greg pouted and stared at his hand desperately trying not to itch back.

"Follow me, I'll show you my green-eyed monster."

Greg followed Archie into the AV-lab and Archie pulled a picture up on a laptop.

"Is that… all of them combined?" Greg was looking at a person apparently constructed out of the four CSI's.

"Yes indeed. Grissom for body, Catherine for hair, Warrick for eyes and Nicky-boy's big win-them-all smile." The picture worked and momentarily Greg forgot all about the bug bite and just giggled like another teenage girl.

"I always use it to overcome what ever they serve me. And trust me he has done this to everybody. But usually the latest arrival at the lab gets the most." If Archie was trying o comfort him he failed miserably.

An hour later the bite was driving him mad, no matter how focused he stayed on the samples his hand found something to scratch against for relief. He had to find a way to keep his hand from doing things unnoticed without covering it. Looking around the lab he saw the first aid kit and opted for the sling. With the arm in the sling he had full control over his hand's whereabouts but working had gotten a whole lot more complicated. At least the bug bite had cleared his mind from his Nick worries, first time he thought about him was when then guy leaned in over him.

"What's happened to your arm?" Warm breath close to his ear and neck, Nick hadn't turned the music down like other people would. Greg reached for the volume control brushing against Nick's chest causing a serious onset of gooseflesh.

"Arm… Eh… Grissom… mosquito…" Greg was desperately grasping for self control especially over his tongue.

"Grissom is testing a mosquito, well actually more how people react to being bitten by that particular bitch." Finally his mouth and brain cooperating again.

"It sucks being the new one."

"Yeah I think the man is taking the word lab-rat a little too serious."

"But that doesn't explain the sling Greggo."

"All right I'll spell it out for you. I am not allowed to touch cover or treat the bite. When my arm is in the sling my hand won't suddenly be scratching at the edge of a desk or anything else within reach. That good enough for you Mr. Cop?"

"Hey no need to get defensive man! I was just worried about…" Nick trailed off and started to blush slightly. Greg took advantage of it and gave Nick a coy look from under his thick eyelashes and added his most charming smile too. Now it was clear that Nick's brain had lost control and the man stood burning red holding a bag of evidence.

"Nick I could really do with a strong man later on." Greg let the speechless man suffer a bit longer before adding: "You know to go pick up my couch."

"Oh yeah of course no problem. Eh can you process these it's just two swabs?" Nick had regained the ability to speak and the color in his cheeks was fading. For the first time it dawned on Greg that he was affecting Nick just as much as Nick was affecting him. He hadn't realized earlier that he could make Nick loose his cool so easily at work.

Grissom knocked on the doorframe and pointed to his watch, time for documentation. He only thought about the bite when it was time for the photo session, the majority of his thoughts were yet again occupied by Nick and especially Nick's reaction to the obvious flirtatious move he had made. Finally morning arrived and they were all able to go home, it didn't happen that often and Greg was thrilled; he was so looking forward to finally have a couch.

They were both hot and sweaty when the couch was in place in Greg's living room. Greg got a couple of cold beers for them and they both dumped down on the dark gray fabric.

"Have you got anything eatable or should we have stopped and picked some up?" Nick added to the audible rumble from his stomach.

"I have some meatballs and a potato salad from yesterday and the good thing is that you can eat it cold." He padded off to the kitchen and returned with plates and a couple of plastic containers. They ate in silence.

Greg was trying to put a question together about going on a date. But it kept coming up all wrong and a part of him was having a hysterical fit about dating someone stuck in the closet. He noticed how pensive Nick looked and would have given a lot to know what was going on in the Texans mind, but how could he expect Nick to open up when he couldn't himself. Nick left straight after finishing the meal with an excuse about having laundry to do.

With his mind still spinning Greg knew sleep was far off and he opted for a run. Not something he did normally unless it would get him somewhere important. After two hours of running around the neighborhood he was exhausted enough to drop dead to the world when he came home. Before leaving for work he wrote invitations to everyone on the nightshift to come to his housewarming party in two weeks so he could pass them around that night.

The day before the housewarming was all cleaning and preparing food and of course Nick was helping. His excuse had been that he needed to pay of for the three trips to the club in the past week. A case of child porn that had dragged out over three nights and Nick had needed a shoulder to cry on. Greg wasn't any closer to figure out what lay beneath Nick's total lack of distance in these cases, he knew that Nick took all cases very personal. But the children they were the most intense and it left Nick as a trembling wreck. So for three days they had slept side by side not that it had moved things along because Nick had simply been to far gone for that.

They managed four hours of sleep that afternoon after having finished preparing. This time Greg was too exhausted to think about going to sleep with a coherent Nick lying next to him. When the alarm went of he found himself lying with his head on Nick's chest and an arm slung across his waist and Nick was awake looking at him. He got up a little too fast and felt so lightheaded he had to reach for support; Nick caught him before he fell.

"Take it easy Greggo!" His voice warm and soft. Greg finally managed to turn off the alarm and headed for the shower.

The shift was fairly uneventful. Well not for the victims but the cases were rather simple and nothing too gory. So everybody was in a good mood for the morning's housewarming. It was the first time Greg threw a party that started at 9 am but that didn't deter anyone from partying the way other people would at night. The first to leave was Hodges and soon Brass and Grissom followed suit. Catherine's husband Eddie got drunk and she hauled him of home and the party sort of ended then. Nick had drunk way too much so Warrick dropped him off on his way home. In the end it was just him and Archie and they started to clear away the bottles and plates that were scattered on most surfaces in the living room.

"I have never seen Nick drink so much." Archie was clearing away bottles at the end of couch where Nick had sat.

"Maybe he was just getting that child porn case out his system." Archie continued.

"Cases with children just cracks him up."

"Do you know why Archie?" Greg wasn't sure he really wanted to know but maybe if he knew he could help.

"Nah, figure he's seen something as a kid, but I don't know, he never talks about it. To begin with I thought perhaps he had lost a child of his own. But as far as I've been able to find out he's never had any children."

"Hmm… that wouldn't involve any use of government databases for personal gain?" Greg did a full Grissom imitation and Archie doubled over laughing.

"Oh man you're so wicked. You're the perfect countermeasure for Hodges." Archie was laughing so hard now that tears were falling from his eyes. The alcohol in their systems only encouraged the laughing spell and Greg didn't stop till his stomach started cramping up.

Archie left once he stopped laughing and Greg headed for bed, he still had work to go to work tonight. It had disappointed him that Nick had gotten so bloody drunk, yesterday had been so nice and then this sudden change. Everything that Nick did caused a strong reaction in him; any feeling regarding Nick was a million times stronger than for any other person. No one had done this to him before, Sammie had stirred some pretty strong feelings but they didn't even come close to what he felt now.

Five days; Greg was counting the days like a child awaiting Christmas. Five days till the new CSI would start. Five days till he would no longer be Grissom's first choice to perform experiments on. Five days till he would no longer be at the bottom of the food chain in the lab. He had worked in Vegas for a little over 10 months now and everybody kept telling him how great it was to have some one so skilled as him there. And Greg did indeed love his job even for those weird experiments Grissom put him through.

Ever since he started he had worked hard to make his apartment the perfect home for him. Each month had brought new furniture. The first paycheck had bought the couch. The second got him the bed and the big closet for the bedroom, where two shelves held some of Nick's clothes. The third paid for the desk and the chair to the study. The fourth paid for a dining table and a couple of chairs, his parents had come for a visit and he had been so proud setting a proper table. The fifth he used to buy four additional chairs, they had been unreasonable expensive compared to the table. The sixth bought that ridiculously expensive but amazing looking coffee table. The seventh he spend on two armchairs to go with the couch. The eight and ninth he saved in order to buy a car.

Today had been the big day and he had finally bought a car. Nick had gone with him to several car dealers for the past month to find the right one. It had taken him a while to convince the Texan that he didn't want some huge truck or SUV, but preferred smaller cars preferably European ones. The silver VW Jetta he was driving now had stolen his heart three days ago, but Nick had argued he should have a look at a few more cars before deciding. Only he had already looked at 40 at least before that. But he complied and today they had returned to buy the Jetta.

Almost everything in his life was good, sometimes he would go as far as to say borderline perfect. Except for one thing; his love life.

Nick had become the object of desire on day one here, but Nick was not a good choice and so far nothing had happened that would lead to a relationship. However a good deal of his mind was only occupied by Nick-thoughts. It certainly didn't help that they spent a lot of their free time together working on perfecting his apartment. Nor was it helping that Nick always ended up crying on his shoulder when he had had a rough case. Which usually lead to Nick sleeping at his place once or twice per week.

No sex though, just a man with nightmares to look after. That led to an accumulation of Nick's things in his apartment; clothes, shoes, toothbrush, shampoo, razor and aftershave.

It would have been perfect if Nick was his boyfriend, but he wasn't and that made it pure torture on occasion. Most of the time Greg settled on being happy that Nick wanted him as a friend, it was better than just gawking at someone from afar.

Greg had made plenty of new friends after he came, but Nick always had highest priority. If Nick needed him he would dump what he was doing and be there for Nick. Several of his new friends belonged to the gay community in town and the rest were either coworkers or scientist from other labs.

He pulled the car into the parking lot next to the one Nick used at his place and Nick parked only seconds later.

"So is it still the most amazing car you've ever driven?" Nick asked sporting his wonderful smile.

"It certainly is! Things look normal again compared to driving your monster." Pointing a finger at Nick's SUV and giving him a smile to match his own.

"Ha ha. Very funny. You know Greggo that car is in desperate need of cleaning."

"Oh yeah and it reeks of nicotine in the cabin, so I could barely concentrate on driving." It wasn't the whole truth but it was close enough. The idea of car washing and Nick settled in the front of his mind, he started walking up the stairs in front of Nick. It had only taken him a few days to realize that walking behind Nick was a very bad idea unless he wanted his blood concentrating in the groin.

Five minutes later they returned with buckets of water and a variety of chemicals to fight the dirt on the Jetta. Greg figured that cleaning the interior was the best way to not linger half the time staring at Nick or well at least it wouldn't be so obvious. Two hours later the car was spotless and smelled of lemons, real lemons. His mother always used to squeeze a lemon into the soap water claiming that the effect was far better than those artificial smells of lemon that was added to cleaning products.

"I don't get it Greggo?! How did we get so filthy and the car so clean?"

"You are the CSI; figure it out." He was enjoying the sight of a dirty nearly soaked Nick Stokes in front of him and gave him a win-them-all smile. Nick responded to the provocation by lashing one of the rags at him hitting him on the hip with a big splash. Two minutes later Nick was finally soaked and for once in a white t-shirt, Greg was just as wet but they had both made sure to avoid the car.

"Why don't you go pick up some Thai and I'll hit the shower and pretty up while you're gone?" He tilted his head and abused his charm to the fullest making Nick shake his head and head for his SUV.

"Anything special or just the usual suspects?"

"Hmm the usual suspect sounds fine." Greg licked his lips in anticipation and added a coy look. Nick retaliated by removing his t-shirt. He caught his smart reply in the making because it involved hot mind numbing sex.

When Nick returned 20 minutes later he had showered, dressed, sat the table and put away after the car wash. Changed his mind several times over whether to put candles on the table or not. It was a well known internal debate but today he had actually put the candles there and was lighting them when Nick in a fresh t-shirt walked in the door.

"What's that for?" Nick pointed to the lit candles with a very suspicious look.

"For celebrating having bought my first car!!!" Greg sounding like it was the most ridiculous question he'd ever been asked.

"You're nuts Greggo."

"Why do you always state the obvious? That I'm hanging out with you should be all you need to conclude that." He loved it when he made Nick's face come apart in that fantastic smile.

For the following four days Greg's car was the most talked of thing in the lab and Greg of course had done most of the talking himself. Nick had as always listened with the greatest patience and for once Warrick had shown an actual interest, most other people just disappeared when Greg got lost in some explanation. This night Holly Gribbs was at the center of attention. She was the new CSI fresh out of the class room. It didn't take long before Brass' attempt to scare her away and Grissom's vampire stunt became known all over the lab.

Greg had plenty of work to do that night so much in fact that he hadn't paid much attention to what everyone else was doing.

Then all of a sudden the lab resembled an over kicked ant hill. It took a while before he found out what had happened and when he did he panicked. Warrick had left her and so had the uniform. He knew that Warrick would blame himself for this and that meant that Nick would do the same; the question was how bad it would be. Ecklie showed up and gave Brass an earful according to the rumor mill.

When he finally saw Nick he knew it was going to be the worst day in his life. Somehow he managed to haul the Texan to the club, but dancing didn't help at all. Nick was so angry with Warrick over her death. He could both see and feel the tension in every muscle in the Texans body. That day the club didn't help at all and after an hour Greg led them off the floor and to the parking lot. It took a long debate with Nick to make him surrender the keys. Greg had no idea how late it was when they made it to his apartment.

He unlocked the door pushed Nick inside and used his foot to close the door again. Nick just stood frozen in the hallway. The fear that had settled in Greg had subsided and he made a decision. He spun Nick round and pinned him against the wall, he dropped to his knees undid Nick's jeans and yanked them down along with the boxers. Nick still wasn't responding. With one hand on Nick's hip to restrain him he grabbed Nick's half aroused cock and started moving at a steady pace.

"Greg, you… I… it …" Nick's voice was weak and uneven.

He placed his mouth on Nick's now very hard cock and slowly licked over the sensitive head causing Nick to moan. He increased the pace and intensified his mouths actions making Nick gasping for air moaning more and more at each stroke. The whole of Nick's body tensed even more Greg increased his strokes and sucked eagerly on the head wondering how much more Nick could take. Nick's hands moved to his hair and he grabbed in uncontrolled spasms panting hard.

Greg dipped his tongue in the slit and Nick gave in and came long and hard his whole body releasing the tension, the guilt and the anger. Greg swallowed the semen and caressed the head with his tongue for a little while longer making Nick whimper. Nick's whole body was shaking and Greg now used both hands to support him. He stopped when it became clear to him that Nick was crying. He pulled up Nick's boxers and removed his shoes helping Nick to step out his jeans.

It was a slow and painstaking process of getting Nick to fall asleep. Nick cried more than ever before but this time he talked and talked. Talked about how guilty he was over being so angry with Warrick, how he had broken protocol, how he had been more interested in his 100th case and that he would have done exactly the same. Warrick should have been responsible and showed her the ropes not matter how much she wanted to prove herself.

Greg kept telling him that it wasn't only his fault that the cop was to blame too and that Brass had tried to scare her of. He tried his best to convince Nick that Holly had become a victim of bad timing and of circumstance. How much Nick actually believed he never knew but he could feel him calm down and finally fall asleep.

Greg lay awake long after just listening to the Texans steady breathing and thinking; thinking about the blow-job. What would it mean, would it become a wall between them or would it bring Nick out of the closet? Would their friendship end or would it develop?

He decided that what he had done was tension-release, not sex. There had been no kissing, no returning the favor and no lovey dovey words.

He woke by a gentle tucking on the arm. The day's events caught up with in a flash and he opened his eyes only to be met by a red eyed Nick.

"You must have forgotten to set the alarm. We've got less than an hour to get to work in." Nick sounded sleepy. After a few seconds of disbelief they jumped to action and got there on time. Neither spoke about Greg's "favor" to Nick.

There was only six minutes till his shift started and he had just parked the car. Greg had never been this late for work and his usual parking space was taken and it had taken forever to find another. His mom had called earlier tonight and talked for two hours. Her old aunt Ingrid was going in for heart surgery and his dad was somewhere in Canada fishing without a sat-phone. So he was the only shoulder she could cry on. His mom had never been good with health scares in the family. But she never showed it to anybody except him and his dad. Normally it wouldn't have annoyed him being late because of a family emergency, not that he had ever been. But tonight was exactly one year ago that he started working here in Vegas.

The worst part would be that he wouldn't get his coffee until much later and he could really do with a big cup right now. He rushed to the locker room first, dumped his backpack and put on his lab coat. Two minutes; he could just make it to the break room and start the coffee. Catherine and Warrick were already there and the coffee had been brewed.

"Hey I thought we'd lost you. You usually have the coffee ready 10 minutes before shift, something wrong?" Catherine sounded very motherly.

"Hmm nah my mom called and talked for two hours totally delaying me tonight."

"Something wrong?" She was always so caring.

"Well my dad is off somewhere with no phone and she just needed a shoulder." He didn't feel like explaining everything and poured his coffee and left the break room as Sara entered.

"Oh man! Don't they work during the day?" His desk was littered with samples that awaited processing. After a few minutes of reorganizing he was ready to start work and drink his coffee. A big gulp and he would feel so much better. Once the coffee hit his taste buds he urgently returned it to the cup, something was wrong. Swearing to himself he headed for the break room. Coffee brewing was not to be left to amateurs. He dumped the content of his cup in the sink and let the rest of the coffee follow.

He took the machine apart and examined all the obvious places for contamination without finding the culprit. Then he poured out the contents of the filter and went through it and bingo there was something alien. He bagged it for further investigation and started a new pot brewing. Off course he made sure the new filter was normal and that the beans weren't contaminated.

With a fresh and normal tasting coffee in hand he returned to the lab.

"What the fuck?!" There was a cupcake in the middle of his desk and it had a birthday candle in it. The candle was the shape of the number one; he hadn't seen candles like that since his tenth birthday. Somebody had obviously remembered that it was a year ago that he started.

It made him smile widely and lifted his mood considerably. He slipped on a pair of gloves and moved the cake, thinking that Nick could help him dust the cup for fingerprints later. Greg opened his drawer to get a CD out and there was something amiss or actually there was something extra in the drawer. The number of CD's had gone up by one he quickly went through them and found the addition. It was Herzeleid by Rammstein. He had talked about getting it for a while and if people had bothered listening anybody would have known. So the list of suspects was still pretty long. His gloved hands carefully opened the CD cover and placed the CD in the player. An anomaly inside the cover caught his eye and he carefully fished the foreign paper out.

Dear Greg.
Congratulation with your first year here in the Lab.
Your arrival has meant the world to me. You have given me the possibility to be who I am. You are my unmovable rock in this crazy whirl pool. You can always cheer me up. When I am around you I feel safe and loved for whom I am. Your smile can erase so many bad memories in a second. Your embrace is my safe harbor. I love you.
I sincerely doubt I would have made it through this year without you to lead me to safety. What you did for me after Holly was awesome and terrifying and there is no way I can ever repay you. I will try but you know what a fool I am when it comes to emotions; especially my own.
I am so sorry Greg that I can not be the one man that you need. I am too scared.
I wish I could be like you. Be able to love unrestrained and be honest with my self.
I love you.
Nick

Greg could feel the tears well up in his eyes. He couldn't even begin to imagine how long or how hard it had been for Nick to write this letter for him. He knew it all already but it was the first time that Nick had put words to it. Greg's biggest wish was that one day Nick would love himself enough to be able to love somebody. It didn't have to be him even though that would be great. Greg only wanted for Nick to be happy.

Greg carefully folded the letter and put it into a small evidence bag and then into his wallet. It took him a few minutes to gather his thoughts and then he began processing the samples sitting on his desk.

Two hours later Nick knocked on the doorframe and turned the volume down. Greg wanted to jump over and hug him and kiss him all over. Instead he looked up smiling and mouthing a thank you. Nick smiled but there was an obvious nervous edge to him.

"You know somebody left a cupcake in here. I thought you might show me how to dust for fingerprints, so I can find out who to thank for it?"

"You can't lift prints of a cake!"

"Not the cake you fool, but the paper cup." Greg said laughing and pointed to the cake with the candle.

Nick looked as a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"You know such a small person as me can't really eat a whole cupcake. So I've been trying to find some one to share it with. But I know better than to ask the girls and Gris would test it endlessly and Warrick he would probably take it all in one mouthful."

"Well I guess I can handle eating a small bite without ruining my figure." Nick was regaining his confidence and he even managed a coy smile.

Greg held the cupcake up inviting Nick to take a bite.

"Thank you for the note. It means everything to me." He whispered to Nick when he leaned forward for the cupcake. Nick avoided answering by taking a bite of the cake.

Greg returned to normal talking voice and started a monologue on Rammstein and their CD's knowing that Nick would listen just to avoid talking about his declaration of love.

Catherine interrupted his monologue asking Nick if he intended to help her anytime tonight with the remains of Mr. X found in a dumpster.

The shift was busy and as Greg had already wasted plenty of time he was hard pressed for the rest of the night.

He caught up as usual and proudly handed dayshift the results and then headed for the locker room. It took him a moment to find out what was wrong in his locker. There was a tuxedo hanging in his locker. Starring in disbelief he pulled it out and hung it on the door. In the breast pocket there was a piece of white paper instead of a handkerchief. He figured that it would be from Nick and took out the note.

I thought we should learn to dance properly. Meet me in the PS.

The PS was their pick each other up without any witnesses parking lot a block away.

Greg donned the tux complete with sash and bow tie in a dusty dark blue color. There was even a pair of shiny black shoes and a luxurious pair a black boxer briefs to complete the outfit. Sara stopped dead in her tracks when she entered the locker room.

"I would never have guessed you owned a tux." She added an appreciative whistle.

"I don't, someone put in my locker and has asked me to go to a place I have never heard of." Greg tried to sound as mysterious as possible.

"Wow, if it was me I'd be dusting for fingerprints and calling Brass to go as backup."

"Oh Sara live a little." He smiled and left her gawking after him.

He took great care not to crumble his outfit when got into his car and double checked that his wallet was in the backpack in the passenger seat. He simply couldn't loose that letter from Nick. A year gone by, a year of slowly unthawing Nick of walking on glass around Nick, a year revolving around Nick. Nick had become the sun in his galaxy.

Buying stuff for him had become Nick's way of expressing his feelings for him. Nick had bought two expensive red wine glasses for him just because he had mentioned that he liked them. The TV-table was also one Nick had bought and his coolest party jeans. He had bought a shirt for Nick one day and Nick had practically thrown a hysterical fit over it. Stating that he didn't need presents he just needed Greg to be there to hold onto.

They agreed that Greg could give Nick presents for Christmas and his birthday and that Nick could shower him with presents whenever he chose. Simply because it was the only way Nick was able to ease his guilt over using Greg as a comfort blanket. The blow job when Holly had died had not been talked of at all. Two weeks ago Nick and Warrick had worked a case where a baby and a dog had been left in a car with the windows closed.

The car had been sitting in a fairly deserted parking lot and when someone finally raised alarm it was hours too late. Nick had been so upset that Greg had taken him straight home after the shift and performed another blow job. Nick had collapsed on the floor afterwards crying in a way that broke his heart in a million pieces.

Nick was standing next to his SUV dressed in a tux as well. He had a dusty green sash and bow tie on, Greg smiled knowing that he had spent hours finding the perfect colors for them. The butterflies in his stomach did summersaults when he got out of the car. Some small part of him hoped that Nick would follow through on his declaration of love and come out just for his sake.

"You look amazing!" the nervousness in Nick's voice carried clearly through to him and made the butterflies go even more crazy.

"Sara thought so too. I think flabbergasted is the word that would describe the way she looked." Greg did nothing to hide his pride.

"Oh. Did you… Does she…" Today wasn't going to be the day; Nick was nowhere near ready if he got so upset over Sara having seen Greg in the tux.

"She doesn't know. I told her I had been dared to a date by someone unknown. She thought I was mad to go without backup." He posed for Nick to let him get a real good look of his creation.

"Hop in we have to be there at 9!" They drove in silence, Greg barely concealing his curiosity to what it was all about.

The dance studio was old fashioned in its interior design, but had a very welcoming atmosphere. The teacher Nick had arranged their lesson with was in her early fifties and had a mother earth look round and strong. She started with the basic steps for ballroom dancing and soon they were waltzing around the room. It hadn't take her long to figure out that Greg should lead and Nick took it real well that he was better suited for the female part. Greg liked the way she instructed them, she knew how to handle them. They danced for 1½ hour and they were absolutely exhausted.

Before leaving the studio they signed up for dancing lessons twice a week and to his big surprise Nick agreed to sign up for a class rather than private lessons. This particular class was in the morning so it was perfect for them. She assured them that is was very normal with same sex couples and suggested that Nick should buy some high heels for dancing and that Greg should consider some shoes with more heel.

If he hadn't already been in love with Nick, today would have made him fall in love instantly.

"Thank you Nick! This was so great, I absolutely loved it!" His voice carried high with sheer joy.

"Well I've got one more thing planned."

"What?" Greg was jumping up and down around him eager to know.

"Hey my little energizer Bunny you've gotta wait till we get there." Nick took him to a posh restaurant and they had a nice meal to finish a perfect day.

On the way back to Greg's car they talked about the dancing and the food and Greg just had to know.

"Nick how far do you want this to go?"

"I… want it to… you know… go all the way. But I know your rules and I am not ready… for it… my parents I can't… I tried talking to momma a couple of days ago… but she kept steering away from what I tried to tell her." Nick let out a deep sigh and shot a glance at Greg.

He reached out and touched Nick's arm in a comforting way.

"I love you. But I hate that you don't love yourself."

"Your letter Nick it must have been so hard for you to write it. But I am so glad you did it means everything like I said earlier."

"It took a week to get it right and I was ready to tear it up a million times. I'm sorry that I'm such a…" Nick's voice became tearful and he trailed off.

"Nick it is ok. I understand and for now I like things as they are. You are an amazing friend. Nobody has ever done something like you did today." Nick had pulled into the space next to his car and Greg kissed him lightly on the cheek and got out of the SUV. The butterflies had reappeared and tied a knot somewhere in his stomach and he really just wanted to cry in solitude.

"I'm glad you liked it." A tired smile spread across Nick's face.

"See you tonight Greggo."

"Yeah see ya."

When he came home he took the letter out and read over and over again. He cried himself to sleep; he had never cried so much over anybody as he had over Nick.

It was the seventh time that night that he had to rush to the bathroom. He figured he'd gotten some flu bug but he had been too stubborn to call in sick though every time he puked he regretted his decision. Life was a horrible evil bitch. Nick only had time for their dance class these days because Kristi fucking bloody Hopkins had chosen him for a love interest and she was so persistent. He flushed and went to wash his face and rinse his mouth. It was a sorry look in the mirror. He hadn't done his hair and he had suitcases under his eyes and his eyes had a glassy dazed look. Nick hadn't been much of a friend lately not with that hooker hanging around him all the time. The worst part was that she stepped on the scene just when Nick seemed ready to begin to out himself.

Greg had planned for Valentines Day ever since his anniversary and the dance and now it wasn't going to happen. She was so persistent that Nick would probably give in and he knew why. Kristi had many of the qualities he had; they actually had a lot in common and perhaps that was why he was so pissed with her. He had gone out yesterday and danced a lot with some Dolph Lundgren look alike and it had been really hot but he just couldn't go all the way.

Pure stubbornness got him through the rest of the night and he was so looking forward to going home and crash. When something occurred to him; he had slept real hard yesterday and only woken when his alarm had gone into I-should-have-been-turned-off-ten-minutes-ago and puking all night having a headache like never before.

"Grissom can you tap some of my blood?"

"Why do you want me to do that Greg?" His supervisor gave him a disbelieving look.

"Just thought I would test something." He wasn't sure he would get away with it without explaining every last detail.

"Am I to be worried or do you just want to spend our funding on irrelevant tests?"

"I was out yesterday partying and I just wanted to see the contamination of my blood." That was hopefully enough. Grissom gave him another suspicious look and then he drew the blood without asking anymore questions.

The test result was what he feared: Rohypnol, the date rape drug. Suddenly he was glad that he could remember everything until he had lain down to sleep at home. But it still shocked him that somebody had slipped him the drug and he hadn't noticed. He went home and crashed. He didn't wake until it was time for work again, but he felt a lot better.

The shift passed in good order and he had replenished his food deprived body and was feeling a lot better. He met with Nick at the dance studio and Nick kept on talking about Kristi on and on. Greg concentrated hard on the dancing so he wouldn't lash out at Nick in a bout of jealousy. He didn't go home after dancing but went clubbing.

It didn't take long for him to hook up with a guy looking like Nick except for the green eyes. They danced hot and suggestive for a while and Greg decided to take the plunge. If Nick could sleep with Kristi why should he hold back? "Why don't we finish this at my place?" Greg suggested in his low husky voice. The other man accepted the invitation and the ride Greg offered as well. The guy had been nipping at his earlobe and touching every part of his body within reach and Greg was so hard that he could barely focus on driving.

Kissing and groping each other they stumbled up the stairs to Greg's door. He fumbled forever with the key and finally succeded. They got inside and Greg kicked the door shut.

"You'll love this bitch!" Greg knew some guys liked to talk dirty, but he flinched at being called a bitch.

"No need for name calling." He quietly argued going for another kiss.

"Where's your bedroom bitch." Too much sex in the other mans voice so he probably hadn't heard Greg. Greg pointed in the direction of the bedroom starting to toe of his shoes.

But he didn't get very far as the other man picked him up and half carried half dragged him to the bedroom. Greg could feel the strong hands gripping him real hard and he was beginning to rethink this whole idea of bringing a stranger home.

"Hmm take it easy no need to hurry." He stated meekly.

"Shut up bitch you know you want this." He threw Greg onto the bed face down and planted a knee in his back. Greg felt the air leaving his lungs and his inability to refill them. Positional asphyxiation was his only thought. He instantly forgot how horny he had been and struggled to place his arms for leverage so he could breathe again.

He barely registered his pants and boxers being yanked down he was too busy getting his left arm out from under his body. The knee left his back and he pushed up on both arms only for a moment before pressure was applied again this time by a hand. But the other man was so strong and leaning over him and Greg was so out of breath that all Greg was able to do was breathe.

He felt like a lightning struck when he was penetrated unprepared, the pain was overwhelming but he couldn't respond to it; he had to breathe, had to breathe. A part of him stepped out of bed and just stood there and observed him being raped. Saw how his assailant pumped hard into his ass and forcing him down by pressing both hands on his back and leaning on them.

"I knew you would love it bitch. All you fucking bitches love when a real man takes charge. You love it when you get fucked bitch. You need it hard you fucking bitch."

Greg vaguely heard his attackers mantra most of all he heard his own blood rushing through his ears and he felt so dizzy from not getting enough air and all he could do was fight for leverage to breathe.

"Oh I knew you were a fucking tight bitch." The words came out between gasping breaths and then it was over. Greg felt him pull out and then he was shoved hard into the mattress and the guy just left slamming the front door a few seconds later.

His entire body was hurting, his lungs and ass more than anything. Greg knew he should call the police and an ambulance but right then he couldn't remember where his phone was. He rolled onto his side and nearly passed out from the pain of moving his body. He looked around and saw a filled condom on the floor and noticed it had landed so it wouldn't spill its contents. It was hard to focus on anything except breathing. He could breathe freely again and did so greedily nearly making him pass out.

He made a huge effort to focus on getting out of bed and it took a lot of thinking before he realized that his pants down around his ankles had stopped there because he was still wearing his shoes. Slowly he managed to remove his shoes and then his clothes; he could smell the other guy on them. He carefully placed his shoes and his clothes on the edge of the bed so he wouldn't contaminate them for later processing. He figured that a cup of coffee would help his brain to work again and completely naked he made his way to the kitchen and started on brewing coffee.

He had lost all sense of time and he nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the doorbell.

"Go away!" He cried unable to remember if he had locked the door before going to the kitchen.

"Greg open it's me Nick!" Even in his dazed condition he could hear the panic in Nick's voice. But how could he deal with Nick now.

"Go away! Leave me alone!" He felt tears welling up and his own panic was taking over.

"Are you okay?" Nick's voice was unsteady and for once Greg didn't care he just wanted to be alone. The turn of a key in the lock nearly gave him a heart attack until he remembered that he had given Nick a key ages ago.

"Go away!" He was practically screaming now.

"Greg I need you Kristi…" Nick stopped short when he saw Greg in the kitchen.

"You're bleeding?!" Nick looked at him in terror and Greg suddenly became self aware. He wanted to run and hide until he saw Nick's tear swollen eyes and the wrinkle in his brow that he had when he was really scared.

"What's wrong?!" His own situation was no longer important to him.

"Kristi's been murdered! What has happened Greg!" Nick wouldn't let up he knew that for sure, but if Kristi was dead it could only mean trouble for Nick.

"I brought a guy home and he… raped me!" The last words he had to force out and then he couldn't hold back his tears.

"Oh my God Greg! When?"

"This morning I went to the club and picked him up I know what he looks like and I was just getting around to call it in but I just needed coffee and the you showed and I couldn't remember if I had locked the door and maybe he came back to finish me off and now you tell med Kristi is dead." Greg finally ran out of breath.

"Ecklie has her case and I have to tell him that I had sex with her and I'll be a suspect did he use a condom you need to get looked at."

"I need you to do a rape kit on me." He knew it had to be done and he trusted Nick but Nick needed him real bad and this was way too much for him.

"I'm suspended."

"Have you got one in the car?"

"Yes of course I always have a full kit there."

"Then go get it and then don't sign it we'll use post-its and hand it over to Grissom and it'll be valid." Outside Greg had taken over and he knew what had to be done and that Nick was better off kept busy right now.

Nick got his test kit and they started processing. Nick did the rape kit on Greg first and then he collected the evidence in the bedroom taking pictures every step of the way. Greg took a shower after he had been processed and when he came into the bedroom Nick was stripping the bed and bagging the sheets.

"I'm almost done Greg and then we'll go to the hospital."

The doctor removed her gloves and looked compassionately at Greg.

"The damage is in the lower part and it'll heal within days. Should the bleeding not stop you need to come back. This is a very traumatic experience and it is a very good idea to get some counseling Mr. Sanders." Greg just nodded.

"Will the bruising on the back need to be monitored or is it ok?" Nick had been asking all the questions since they came.

"The X-ray didn't show any damage. It was very clever of you to get leverage for breathing, many don't and often they loose their life." The doctor looked like she regretted the last part and again all he could do was nod.

"There are three counselors who are in this field of expertise. I'll get their names for you. The Swedish one will probably suit you best." Greg nodded.

He was shaking when he climbed into the passenger seat. Nick got in and turned to hold him. He had no idea how long they sat there just holding onto each other crying. Greg's cell started ringing startling them both back to reality.

"It's Greg."

"Grissom here are you ok."

"I'm on my way and I'll need to talk to you and Brass when I come in."

"Greg what's up?"

"I'll explain later." He cried and hung up.

They were both in a very sorry shabby looking state when they arrived at the lab and headed straight into Grissom's office where both him and Brass were waiting for them.

"I've been raped. I know what the guy looks like and I think I remember part of his name. Nick processed my place and me. He didn't sign anything just attached post-its with the details. He used a condom and it didn't break. I've been to the hospital and apart from some bleeding and bruising I'm ok. The doctor gave me names for counselors and I'll call them once they have office hours." They just listened and didn't attempt to say anything until they were sure he had stopped.

"I'll sign the evidence. No one knows where I was this afternoon." Grissom was clearly shocked.

"We'll get this wrapped up nice and quiet don't worry Greg." Brass kept his voice low.

"Nick you're not supposed to be here at all." Greg wondered if Grissom hadn't noticed him when they arrived.

"I know and I'll leave soon just wanted to make sure Greg was ok."

"Can you two take care of each other?" Brass asked and gave them the detective look.

"But I'm working tonight."

"No you are not Greg!" Grissom shot him the look that meant no argument accepted.

Neither wanted to go home and they drove to a motel in the outskirts of town and booked a room for four days. There was a big supermarket nearby that also had clothes. They shopped basic cheap boring clothes to last a week and all of their favorite snacks and a good deal of beer. Greg called the counselor and got an appointment for the following day. They ate drank played poker talked and cried all day and most of the night.

Nick waited in the SUV while Greg went in to see the counselor. The doctor had been right the Swedish guy was good and he started the slow process of understanding and accepting and dealing with what had happened to him.

Nick got of the hook and they both returned to work after a couple of more days off. The last day in the motel they had a row. They were both hurt because of what the other had done. Greg never thought Nick would be jealous over that he had picked a guy up.

They shouted them selves hoarse blaming each other for everything and nothing. Like a real couple they knew exactly what to say to hurt the other and they both did their best to get the other one feeling guiltier than himself.

It ended in tears and they ended up both feeling very guilty and both trying real hard to make the other feel better again.

Valentines Day was only a few days away when Greg returned to his apartment. His attacker had been apprehended and was looking forward to several other charges than just his. Nick helped spring clean the place and once they had finished with his apartment they cleaned Nick's house just as thoroughly.

Greg hadn't forgiven himself nor Nick for what had happened but he was on the way. The counseling did him a world of good and he had convinced Nick to go too.

He knew he had a long way back to normal and he was sure Nick didn't know what kind of normal he was supposed find his way to.

'Eight cards only eight different Valentines cards to choose from.' For the first time Greg was disappointed in his local supermarket. Maybe it was just another sign in a long row of those that said Nick Stokes is bad for you and still he wasn't anywhere near giving up.

He left the card stand and headed for the CD's hoping he would be inspired. He knew Nick liked country and soft stuff, but he had now idea as to what country CD's he already owned and there was way too many to choose from. Finally he stumbled on a CD containing 20 love songs and he actually knew the majority of them; it would make an okay Valentines card.

The past two weeks had been the worst ever in his life. It had started badly with the spiked drink, fortunately nothing happened, and all Nick's blabbing about Kristi and then her murder and himself being raped. Not something that had put him in the mood for Valentines, but he thought it might help Nick. He wasn't sure why he worried more about Nick than himself right now, but he did. The text for the card was sitting in his brain and all he should do now was put it on paper and pull the same stunt as Nick had for his anniversary. But everything happened in slow motion these days and it took him three hours to write the few lines:

Dear Nick.
I planned Valentines Day months ago, but recent events has led me to

He crumbled the paper and threw it in the bin.

Dear Nick.
My life evolves around you. Everything I do is caused by you.

He threw another ball for the bin.

Dear Nick.
I love you.
I have done so from the day you stood in my bedroom stripping wallpaper in an old pair of my shorts. You made it clear that I could only ever be your friend.
So I'll be your eternal friend, your rock in uneasy waters and your make over expert.
You may not realize but you are my live saver. You have been there every time I really needed you and it means the world to me that you care to hang out with the crazy energizer bunny.
I love you.
Forever
Greg

He read it several times and was and on the verge of crumbling it up and sending it to the bin most of the time. Eventually he slipped it into the CD-cover and the CD in a fancy red and silver bag. By then it was high time to shower and get ready for work.

The bathroom mirror showed him the uncensored truth of the recent attack on his body; the bruise on his back had gone through many shades and was now somewhere between bluish green and yellow. He looked pale and his eyes still had bags under them, but no more than makeup could cure. Greg did a thorough job with concealer and foundation and added eyeliner and some shadow, it was Valentines after all. The hair took him forever as usual, nobody else around the lab cared for their hair. They all stuck to simple roll out of bed and apply water hairdos.

At the lab he snuck the CD into Nick's locker; sometimes it was a great advantage to be notoriously early for shift. These days it also enabled him to be in his lab with his coffee before shift so he didn't have to be charming and flirtatious in the break room when the others arrived for work. Grissom knocked on the door frame, he kept checking up on him.

"You ok?" Rubbing his nose where his glasses normally sat holding them in the other hand.

"Getting there. Guess it's gonna be a long walk." He gave the same answer as yesterday.

"You know where to find me if you…" Grissom trailed off straining to hear what the commotion down the hall was about.

"It's mine and no way I'm gonna let you see it!" Nick's voice carried high and clear through to everybody.

"Nicky's got a girlfriend, Nicky's got a girlfriend." Warrick chanted loud and clear, causing a troubled frown on Grissom's face.

"Ah hmm." Grissom didn't need to say anything. Warrick stopped the instant he became aware of Grissom's disapproval.

It wasn't until much later that Nick came into his lab.

"I don't know what to say." He hadn't turned the music down and Greg barely heard the whisper.

"Then don't."

"Thank you Greg. I didn't get you one. I thought that given the last few days that…" Nick was looking down so he couldn't see his eyes. Greg hated when Nick refused to meet him eye to eye when things got serious.

"I almost didn't either only I'd been meaning to ever since you know." He wanted to say made your move, but he knew it would be a disaster.

"Care for some breakfast after shift?" Much better and far safer he decided. Nick nodded and was called back to work by Sara.

The only one to comment on his use of makeup was Catherine.

"What are you hiding under that beautiful disguise?" always the detective.

"A tired face. The bags under my eyes had upgraded to suitcases." He knew perfectly well that hiding things from Catherine wasn't easy.

"I could think of a few around the place who could benefit from a lesson." She winked at him and left with her test results in hand.

They bought Sushi and ate it at his place.

"The makeup surprised me Greggo."

"Well it was either that or a new mirror, because what I saw last night before work was pretty scary. So I opted for the makeup since I already had that laying around."

"Have you worn it before?" Nick asked with a shameful look.

"Not something noticeable. But I've often put on concealer and foundation to hide the I-am-so-tired-I'm-gonna-drop-in-five look."

"But wouldn't it cover your moles?" Nick wasn't well informed on the topic and it actually amazed him; how could he not be with 5 sisters?

"Not if you know what you're doing. I could give you a full makeover if you like."

Nick shrunk in the chair by the suggestion.

"I think I'll stop at the high heels."

"Greg can we go for a walk?" They were doing the dishes when Nick asked.

"Sure. We could go to the park some blocks over from here it's real nice."

"Is that just it?" he could only guess to what "it" Nick was referring to. "What do you mean?"

"I mean have you forgotten what happened? You just carry on like it's nothing."

"I want to be normal again. I want to be able to laugh, to kiss, to hold, to flirt without that creep popping into my mind all the time. Don't blame me for trying."

"Something like that just doesn't go away you know."

"It would if you didn't keep bringing it up. I talk to the shrink about it. Everybody else should just be themselves so I know how to deal with them." He was getting agitated, but knew it would be a bad idea to take it out on Nick.

"I'm just worried about you." Nick's voice sounded so soft and it made him want to cry.

"Right back at you. But we gotta start living again or we'll never heal."

"I know but it's real hard. I keep seeing you hurt and Kristi dead in my mind and it's all mixed up and I can't always tell you apart and I hate that 'cause I don't wanna loose you." He knew Nick was on the verge of crying and he couldn't stop it and he didn't want Nick to break down on him now.

"Nick it's gonna be alright. I'm still here and so are you. Let's just take it from there ok?"

Both of them calmed down and they walked and talked for a couple of hours before heading back to Greg's apartment to get some sleep.

The following weeks Grissom carefully kept Nick out of harms way and watched over Greg like a hawk. Greg needed normalcy so much that he bounced around and flirted like crazy with Sara, which he knew was harmless she would never happen. Nick was more silent than normal, but had stopped moping all the time.

Twice a week he would swing Nick around on the dance floor and for those few hours Nick was back to his old self. They were getting confident with the terminology and the steps. But Nick in high heels was still a challenge on his self control; somehow they made Nick look sexier than anything else and he was happy that he was able to think like that again. Some of the others from the dance class had noticed that things had changed and one morning where Nick had to hurry off for an appointment Greg had stayed and talked with a couple of guys that also danced together and who obviously was a real couple.

"Is everything ok with you and Nick?" The guy named Jason asked.

"Well we both had some bad stuff happen and now we're trying to find our way back."

"Something to do with that Chris he talked about last month?" The other guy Eric asked.

"Kristi is a girl and she got killed the other day and I just had a bad date." Jason gave him the most emphatic look he had ever seen.

"But you're gonna be fine?"

"Yeah sure time heals everything right?" He was too tired to hide his emotions.

"Why don't you come by us some day, we have some great breakfast parties when we knock off." He knew they worked in a casino or did they own it? He'd forgotten the details.

"Sounds good, nice to meet others with the same working hours as myself." They arranged for a breakfast the following week.

He knew he made everything look alright but it didn't stop the nightmares and he still checked if the door was locked every so often. The physical pain had gone away but the fear was still deeply imbedded in him. If Nick wasn't sleeping next to him he would call him after a nightmare. Sometimes they just talked for a few minutes other times Nick would come over and twice Nick had picked him up and they had gone to some motel to sleep. He had been used to Nick having problems sleeping but he never had and what bothered him the most was that the sanctity of his own home had been violated.

His mom had cried when he told her what had happened and asked if she should come. But he knew that she had used up all her vacation time and for some reason he didn't feel like having her around. After thirty minutes of refusal she gave up with the promise to drop everything and come if he needed her. All he needed was a time machine.

Nick agreed to the breakfast invitation and they had a great time with Jason and Eric. No hard issues were discussed and no questions asked about the specific nature of their relationship. A month later Greg received an invitation to a dress up party at Eric's casino, the theme was wedding. All couples were to arrive as bride and groom and singles as bridesmaids. Greg spent two days pestering Nick to say yes to come along.

Nick finally caved in and he was so excited that nobody had any doubt about how happy he was.

Greg had just poured coffee and turned to head for the lab.

"What are you so chipper about? Gotten laid?" Warrick asked. Greg stopped mid stride for a split second and he saw the panic in Nick's face.

"Warrick I don't think that's a proper subject for small talk." Grissom said with a very stern voice, Greg hadn't seen him come in.

"Grissom's right it's none of our business." Nick added. Greg walked over to Warrick and looked mildly at him.

"No but I've got a date." Warrick mouthed a 'sorry' and Greg mouthed an 'ok' before he left. In the lab he sat the coffee down and then made a dash for the bathroom where Warrick found him a little later.

"I'm sorry, what's happened to you man." Warrick was all worried and sorry.

"Nothing I've just…" He trailed off and splashed some more water in his face.

"Have you been raped?" He looked up and saw an expression on Warrick's face that he had never seen before.

"How…" He wanted to prove Sara's theory on spontaneous combustion and just vanish.

"Been there." Warrick volunteered.

"I… But you…" He suddenly had a million questions and they were all stumbling over each other leaving him speechless.

"I grew up in a rough neighborhood and one of the older guys needed to prove himself. I just happened to be around when he got the urge." Warrick kept holding his gaze in the mirror.

"He did it 8 times before someone from a rival gang offed him."

"I brought a guy home and at first he was nice and then he went berserk. Nick found me when he came to tell that he'd been suspended because Kristi had been murdered." Warrick nodded and placed his hands on Greg's shoulders ever so gently.

"Don't tell anybody please Greg."

"I won't." He placed his own hands on Warrick's and gave a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you." He whispered and let his tears flow making Warrick go all fuzzy in the mirror.

He wanted the whole nine yards for this wedding party; the wedding gown the silk shoes and the marvelous hair. He had never thought that Nick would contest that.

"Come on Greggo, it'd look stupid if you're the bride. You dance the lead remember."

He was speechless this was his fantasy his baby and Nick would just take it away from just like that.

"But… I…" His brain was working overtime to find the appropriate argument that would settle this once and for all.

"I've dreamt of this for ages!" Not the best he could come up with but he needed time.

"It would look silly with the groom in high heels being lead by the bride." Nick knew he had the upper hand.

"Yeah but my body is far more delicate and I definitely look better in a dress." He was officially whining. "I've never seen you in a dress nor have you seen me." Nick just stood there in his living room with his arms crossed looking at the coffee table; currently cluttered with bridal magazines.

"It'll be so much easier to get one for me. And you can learn to lead. Besides we are not gonna be dancing all the time." His arms were all over the place gesturing to emphasize his point.

"I have seen plenty of women my size or bigger for that matter." For once Nick was as unmovable as a mountain.

"Niiiiiiiiiiiiick please, I've always wanted to do this. Since I was 11 I've known what kind of dress shoes and hair I wanted for this." He could feel the tears lurking in the corner of his eyes.

"Greg. We are not getting married. It is just a dress up party!" Nick just stated it without any show of emotion.

"I know that. But I just want it so badly. I mean the dress thing." He was blushing real hard and his tears had started to slowly trickle down his cheeks. He had always been able to make Nick give in to all kind of things and now when it really mattered Nick stood his ground.

"Greg is it really so important? I mean what about what I want?" Nick was looking intensely at him.

"Yes it is. Besides you look much better than me in a tux." He was grasping at straws and his voice was thick from the tears.

"Hmm you do have a point there." Nick started to smile and moved over to him and embraced him. It was very rare for Nick to be the comforting part but he had lost it completely for a moment there.

"I knew I would regret it if I gave in!" Nick whined as they went down another aisle filled with big white fluffy dresses.

"Come on don't you want me to look my best." He had found a second hand shop that specialized in wedding equipment. He had actually found several since a lot of people just came to Vegas to get married and this way it would be a lot cheaper than to go look for a dress in one of the designer shops.

Nick was carrying the four dresses he had picked out for trying on and trailing behind as he searched the rest of rows of dresses. He finally made it to the dressing room after having picked up three pair of silk shoes on the way. Nick tried to get some order on the 11 dresses he had carried there; but he just stopped and stared when Greg pulled of his t-shirt and revealed a bra. Greg saw the reaction in Nick and knew it would get worse when he put in the fillers he hadn't been brave enough to wear them from home.

Two hours later he finally decided on a dress and a pair of shoes. Originally he had wanted a train, but he hadn't found anyone he liked.

"Ok Nick let's find you a set to go with this one."

"What can't I just wear my tux?" Nick stared at him in disbelief.

"Nope tails or morning jacket in beige would make you absolutely dashing. I saw some when we came in."

"Why do I have a feeling that I won't get out of this one?" Nick asked in a giving up tone.

"Because you're not. Look at this dress it is so pretty. You have to look good too you know." He headed off to the rows with grooms stuff with Nick in tow. Another two hours and they were done and each a good deal poorer. Nick had found some designer jeans in the every day wear section and a ballroom dress. Greg had picked up a pair of leather pants a couple of dresses and a pair of very low riding tight jeans.

The following day at their dance class he fought to keep his balance in the heels and it was no help that Nick in his attempt to lead kept getting the steps wrong and stepping on his toes half the time.

"Come on boys it's no different than before. It's still the same steps and patterns." He realized that Nick simply had followed his lead and had never cared to learn the established pattern. Things became a lot easier after informing Nick on the simple geometric figures to dance by and his toes suffered much less after that.

They had gone home to him afterwards to do a few alternations to Nick's outfit. Nick made a turn to let him see how the trousers fitted now and he jumped back falling into the armchair eyes wide from fear. When had they let his attacker out of prison and how had he come in here and where was his phone he needed to call Brass needed to get out of here. He struggled to get out of the armchair and the attacker just walked up to him like there was no hurry. He reached frantically for his phone somewhere on the coffee table when his arm was caught and a real hard slap connected with his cheek.

"Greg it's me Nick." He was looking up into Nick's terrified brown eyes.

"He was just here Nick. He was right here in the living room." He couldn't quite shake the image of his attacker in the middle of his living room; he was shaking all over and his voice was quivering. Nick pulled him into his strong arms and gently rocked him.

"He was only in your mind baby. He's in custody. He can't hurt you no more. I'll look after you don't worry baby." Nick's soft words made him relax and calm down.

It was strange to be tucked into bed by Nick it was always the other way round. As he lay there with his head resting on Nick's chest he wondered if he would ever get over the rape. He had never had a vision like that one in the living room before and he could feel the fear lingering in his body still. Strong hands shook him awake and it took his confused mind a while to remember that it was Nick. He couldn't remember the nightmare though only the terror.

The following day he had a session with his counselor and he was getting tired of talking about what he was afraid of. So instead he had talked about his wishes for the future and when he left he felt rather elevated. The next thing on his to do list was to schedule an appointment with his hairstylist for the day of the party. Before heading home he just had some shopping to do and he rally had been meaning to go home. But only he hadn't instead he was standing outside Warrick's place knocking insistently on his door.

"Wow Greg where's the fire man?" Warrick ushered him in as he asked.

"Can we talk?" He was trembling and tried to cover it up by letting his left hand perform a drum solo on his thigh.

"Sure, want something to drink?"

"Coffee if you have some." He looked around the room and he couldn't even recall how he knew Warrick's address. They talked while playing videogames and drinking coffee by the gallon. He just needed to know that it was possible to get out on the other side and Warrick was living proof of that.

When he finally got back home his body was shaking from the overdose of coffee; but he managed to fall asleep and for the first time since the rape he slept without waking from a nightmare.

As the days counted down to the party he and Nick trained hard on the dancing and he was finding his way back to his normal life. For all that he knew Nick was healing as well; though they didn't talk about Kristi.

Finally the big day arrived. Nick had been mocking him because he was so caught up with this pretend Wedding thing.

He went to the hairstylist before Nick got up and when he came back they started to dress. A wedding outfit isn't something you just jump into in 30 seconds and Nick was swearing over the ridiculous amount of buttons on the back of his dress.

"Don't push me Nick or I'll have eyeliner all over. Just button them and don't make such a fuss over it." He continued with the makeup.

Normally he had nice clean skin but today of all days; three pimples had appeared on his forehead and he had his work cut out with the concealer. He had chosen a light green eye shadow and brown eyeliner. Since his eyes were very prominent he did his lips more neutral and went easy on the blush. He helped a gawking Nick with his cravat and other finishing touches.

"You look stunning Greg!" Nick had come back in with the camera and taken a few shots of him. They used the timer to get a few of them both together and he took some of Nick who looked like a groom most brides would kill for.

The party was a huge success with all kinds of brides and grooms and an awful lot of dancing; which they managed fairly well. He enjoyed it and he loved people acknowledging his beautiful hair and dress. But most of all he loved how they adored Nick and that Nick only had eyes for him. He hoped that perhaps this could make Nick fall in love with him. He missed having a boyfriend. He actually had no idea if he was ready; but tonight he could handle it all.

"Nick." He whispered during a slow dance.

"Hmm." It felt so good dancing with Nick.

"What do you say to me dress you up in that red dress you bought and take you dancing sometime soon. I could wear my tux." They glided over the floor with at least 20 other couples.

"Do you think you could make me look as beautiful as you do now?" It wasn't quite the answer he thought he would get from Nick.

"You are beautiful already. All I have to do is make you see it too." He was still whispering.

"Well I guess you have yourself a date Mr. Sanders." Nick's warm breath caressed the skin of his neck.

As in all dress up parties the best looking couple had to be found. This was done very democratically all couples were given a number to wear on public display and everybody filled out a ballot with the number of the couple they wanted to win.

They came in second only beaten by the host and his stunning bride.

There were 10 days till they both had the night off and he was planning for the perfect date. He had booked a table at one of those fancy restaurants that still stuck to normal hours and bought a wig that would fit Nick real well. It had been so expensive that he would just tell Nick it was one he had for a while. Initially Nick had tried to get out of the 'date' but he only had to pout a little to convince Nick that it really was a good idea.

They were both back to normal at work and his nightmares had subsided so much that he now had entire days of sleep without them. The vision he had before the dress up party hadn't recurred fortunately; he had never ever been so scared in his life.

They were also back in the old routine of dancing and Nick trying to unwind from bad cases.

In dance class they had returned to him leading and Nick following and he realized how much Nick trusted him on the dance floor.

Two nights before 'date'-night there was cake at the lab. Somebody from dayshift had turned 40 and left the rest of the cake for them to have. Nick didn't like that kind of cake and didn't have any; Sara on the other hand helped herself to as much as possible without being too greedy. He however had got stuck in his lab due to an experiment Grissom took out on him; he had to sit with his leg in a bucket of water and wait for the leach to bite and then remain put. Most of the time he found Grissom rather scary; but when he got into his experiments like this he thought more of him as a fellow student.

Grissom hadn't said anything about the short stubble on his legs; how could he have been dressed up as bride without a proper wax job on the legs. But he had caught the look of surprise on Grissom's face and had begun to figure out how to explain it.

Everybody knew to keep clear when Grissom was experimenting so no one came near and thus he didn't get any cake and he strongly suspected that Grissom's piece of cake became an experiment and didn't want to ask for it.

The following night Sara called in sick as did Hodges and Jacqui. Catherine and Warrick ran for the bathroom ever so often and most of dayshift had been suffering too. The cake was quickly discovered to be the culprit and he feared that they would loose their day off tomorrow and the 'date' would be postponed.

Nick and Grissom did all the work in the field and left the lab work for Catherine and Warrick so they wouldn't have to leave the building. 10 minutes before the end of the shift Sara called to let them she would be in for her shift in the evening and their date was saved when Hodges also called in to report ready for work.

When the 'date'-day arrived they went to his place to sleep and dress up. As always he woke up long before Nick he had never needed much sleep. So he had showered and started preparing breakfast by the time a sleepy Nick entered the kitchen reaching for the coffee.

After Nick had showered and shaved he sat him on a chair in the study because he would have a better working light in there and started the transformation of Nick into Nicola.

There were no mirrors in the study and when he was done he took Nick into the bedroom and opened the closet door that had the full body mirror on the inside.

"Oh my god." Nick was staring at himself.

"It seems like I'll have the prettiest date tonight." He was indeed satisfied with his work. Nick looked like one these sporty women who still managed to be all style despite their big frames.

"I never thought I could look like that!" Nick's eyes slowly moved over each detail in the mirror; the dark long hair, the red dress, the red shoes, the jewelry and the makeup.

"Like I said you're beautiful I just had to make you see it." He quickly donned his tux and they were soon on their way.

The evening went real well and he noticed a good number of men casting glances at 'Nicola' and then looking at him with envy. The food had been top notch and later the band played up for dancing; they had been amongst the last to leave the dance floor. It was beyond doubt the best date he had ever had.

"Greg I gotta give it to you. You really know how to treat a girl." Nick had that slightly mocking hint in his voice.

"Hmm I've always been the perfect cavalier on a date." He had no intention of hiding his pride.

"I guess it was a good idea after all. Though when you waxed my legs I was ready to call it all of." They were dancing real slow and close now.

"You can't wear a dress and then have monkey legs." He just wanted to kiss Nick and let fly of all his principles.

"I don't have monkey legs." Nick whispered in a mock hurt voice. Another couple bumped into them and ruined the moment. He had been saved by the bell. He knew it would be against every single one of his principles to enter into a relationship with Nick before Nick was out at least to his family.

Nick had like the 'date' so much that he wanted to do it again and this time he wanted Greg to be the woman. During the next months they developed and perfected their female identities 'Gina' short for Georgina had become his and Nicola was Nick's. They did the date thing instead of going to the club dancing and he stuck on a very fine line in order not to kiss Nick every time they went out. For all that it mattered he wasn't even sure he was ready to have sex yet, he didn't like to admit how big an impact the rape had had on him. He had considered a couple of times to ask Warrick if he could reintroduce him so to speak; but he'd decided against it. It was Nick he wanted and nobody else. He hated himself for being so hard on his principles and he hated having fallen in love with somebody who couldn't handle his principles.

Nick and he had been on a 'date' early in the evening so they could make it home and change before shift. He had been 'Gina' for the evening and had therefore waxed his legs that morning; if he was to say so himself he had pretty good legs and he made sure to keep a nice tan on them all the time.

"Greg can I borrow your body for a moment?" Grissom looked all innocence and he said yes without asking to the nature of the experiment. To his surprise it wasn't an experiment but merely a rearranging of Grissom's office. Specimen jars and journals had to come down so some of the shelves could be moved to another height. At some point he was holding a stack of journals and Grissom kept putting more in the stack; which eventually began sliding and he sidestepped to keep the journals in place. In his attempt to keep the journals from falling he kicked over a jar; stepped on it and fell full length smashing a few jars with his legs.

"Greg!?" He was laying on the journals and his legs were hurting real bad and all he could manage was a moaning sound.

"Greg lay still you're laying in broken glass. I just have to catch the beetles."

He wanted to say that he was more important than some stupid beetles; but his landing has pushed most of the air out his lungs so he concentrated on getting his breath. It send a shiver down his spine as the memory of the rape became physically clear; all he'd done back then was concentrate on breathing.

"Sir I think I need some help." He whispered in gasps.

He could hear Grissom set something down and then he was at his side.

"Where does it hurt?"

"My legs and my lungs I think I had the air pressed out when I landed and my hands are feeling funny."

Grissom moved his arms to make him more comfortable and then started clearing away the broken glass.

"Hmm it seems like some of the pieces has drawn blood." Grissom touched something and it sent bolts of pain through his body.

"Ouch… oh man that hurts." He could feel his throat thicken and he really didn't want to cry.

"I've cleared so you can roll over and I think you've gotta loose the jeans so I can get to the glass that you landed in."

He did as told and every move made his body protest against the pain. The sharp intake of breath from Grissom when he saw his silk soft tanned legs was unmistakably.

Grissom sat down and started to remove the shards of glass and carefully examined his legs to make sure that he had them all out. Greg was pretty sure that his boss had an extra good feel of his legs before letting go of them.

"Why do you shave them?" Grissom's blue eyes were scanning his face with the fact finding look in them.

"I wax them for when I dress up as a woman." His was still quite shaken by the sudden vivid memory of the rape and just answered without thinking. The blue eyes looked harder at him.

"As in transvestite or drag?" There was no way about it now; so he prepared for a long séance.

"Well properly most drag. But I like to do it so nobody can tell that I'm really a guy underneath. I do it for dress up parties and I've sort of a competition going with a friend on who's best at it. So we go out together one in normal outfit and the other dressed up to see who scores the most catcalls."

"Interesting; maybe you should be in an undercover department?" Grissom was smirking and it made him feel better.

"And be a woman 24/7… no thank you. I'm perfectly happy being a guy." Grissom finished up dressing the worst of his wounds.

"I don't hope you need to show legs in the next few days."

"No worries I look good in a tux too."

He beamed a confident smile at Grissom and tried to pull his jeans back on unsuccessfully. It tucked at the bandages and he had this irrational feeling that they were filled with shards of glass still.

"You might want something more loosely fitted." There was only one problem he didn't have a change of clothes with him. He knew Nick had some but he was out in the field so he decided to button his lab coat and work bare legged.

It didn't take long for the rumor of him and his legs to spread throughout the lab. He caught an awful lot of comments some worse than others. At least he had time to come up with an excuse and told everyone that it was because he had lost a bet.

Sara frowned at him telling him that it wasn't fair for him to have better looking legs than her. Warrick took a long look and whistled. Nick was lost for words and concentration so Sara ended up shouting at him to get him moving again.

"Wow Greg legs like that could make even a stripper jealous."

"Hmm maybe you could teach me." An idea had begun to form in his head.

"If it's just a cheap trick to see me naked you can forget it."

"Ah Catherine you would know if I was courting you. I want to put on a show for somebody else." He put on the puppy eyes and the head tilt that usually worked wonders with Nick.

"Courting!? Every time I think I know what you're about you say something that throws me completely of track. Can you dance and I don't mean jerking around to some techno."

"My Lady a tango for two." He took Catherine and danced her out of the lab and down the hallway in a soundless tango. He noticed their gob smacked onlookers and waltzed her back towards the lab.

"Ok you can dance and I'll see if I can find a day to show you." She had overcome her initial surprise and now just stared in awe.

Today it was two years ago that he had landed at McCarran; two years ago that he had started in the lab and most importantly two years ago that he had met Nick. He wondered if Nick would pull a stunt like last year. It had been such a good day so full of promise and then it had all disappeared within months.

He had made up his mind about Nick and this almost relationship they had going on.

Today or technically tomorrow he would surrender his principle about never living in secrecy; simply because it was slowly eating him alive being so close to Nick without being able to kiss and touch and love him for real. For the past six months they had gone on numerous 'dates' and more and more of Nick's stuff had made it to his apartment. He had only been to Nick's house a very few times and he had a feeling that Nick needed it to be his house alone to keep up his façade. He was okay with it; he preferred to be in his own home and he didn't mind Nick taking up half of the closet space with his clothes.

When he entered the lab with his cup of coffee he saw that Nick had done it again. There was a muffin on his desk with a '2'-candle in it. He recognized the muffin as the blackberry kind that Nick like the best and that he was really good at making himself as well. He opened his drawer to check for a new CD; to his disappointment there was the same number of CD's in there as yesterday. He looked around the lab to see if something was out of order but didn't find anything and returned to the CD's and started going through them in case Nick had replaced one instead of adding one. More than halfway through he found a CD with rock ballads that was definitely not his. He opened it and looked for a letter inside the cover and came up empty, disappointed he took the CD and put it on. When he was about to set the cover down he noticed a tool mark on the black tray that holds the CD. He quickly lifted it up to reveal the back cover and a letter.

Dear Greg
It is impossible to keep secrets from you not that I really want to though. This last year has been a rollercoaster ride for us both. There were times where I don't think I would have made it to the next day if it wasn't for you. But I've learned a lot too and Nicola has helped me to open up in a way I never thought I would have dared to before you came. I love you more now than ever before. I know that I'm not able to be yours and I hate it because all I want is you. I love you. In February I thought that nothing would ever be good again. But you were my rock even if someone had done their best to destroy you, you were still there for me to hold on to. I will never forget the wedding party. I know it was fake but all the preparations we put into it and how amazing it was to see you in the wedding dress it touched me deeply. I want to come out. But I would like to start with people like Jason and Eric. It scares me like crazy when I think about how Warrick would react to the news and I just can't tell him yet. I just love you. Please love me back.
Nick

He carefully folded the letter and put into a plastic bag and put it into his wallet. He could feel the lump in his throat and the tension in his tear canals. Somebody turned the volume down.

"Hey when did you start to listen sappy stuff like that?" Warrick looked at him and his muffin.

"I got it from a friend." The thickness in his throat was obvious when he spoke.

"Are you ok?" Warrick had moved closer and lowered his voice to a whisper.

"Hmm sort of. I want to ya know and I'm not sure it's a good idea yet and I don't know how to tell him." He too was whispering and was looking around to make sure nobody was within earshot.

"Don't be alone with him if you have doubts." Warrick could really look awfully worried sometimes.

"I don't doubt him just myself. He would never hurt me." He was so close to crying now that it was real hard to get the words out of his mouth.

"Tell him what happened and let him know that stop means stop. If he's a good guy he'll be gentle and let you set the pace. Do I know him?" Warrick was staring at the muffin with a look that indicated recognition.

"I…" He wasn't able to speak without sobbing and he reached for a paper towel to blow his nose and regain his composure.

"Just be careful and you can call me anytime if in doubt ok." Warrick gave him a gentle squeeze on the shoulder and left the lab when he had assured him he was okay.

He heard Nick enter the lab even though he didn't turn down the music and knew he would come over and stand real close to him like usual.

"Anything exiting in that microscope of yours?" He just kept looking on the sample, because turning around would leave his mouth a few inches away from Nick's and the temptation would be too much right now. It was more than enough that he could feel Nick's warm breath on the skin of his neck.

"Thank you. Warrick knows or at least suspects." He whispered and finally dared to turn and face Nick and saw the look of surprise mixed with fear on his face.

"How?"

"He recognized the muffin. I love you too." He was still whispering and focusing hard not to kiss Nick right then and there. Instead he took his hand and gave it a few loving strokes before letting go again. Nick was just looking at him like he was seeing him for the very first time.

"Are you gonna eat that muffin all alone or what?"

"Well I've been defending it all night from Sara just so I could share it with you." He held it up to Nick who took half in one bite and he ate the rest.

When the shift ended he found a pair of hiking boots in his locker and a hiker's backpack filled with hiking equipment. There was a post-it on the backpack.

Put on the outfit and meet me in PS.

He wondered what Nick was up to now and vaguely remembered Nick telling about hiking camping and climbing. 20 minutes later he parked his car next to Nick's took his things and jumped in next to Nick. They drove out to a hiking trail somewhere he didn't even know the name of, but the scenery was nice and there were no other vehicles in the parking area.

After two hours of walking they came to a picnic spot, which was a place with some huge flat stones to sit on and it had nice view over a good part of the area.

They had mostly spoken about the trail on their way and neither had spoken about the letter.

"Ok I've got coffee, sandwiches and some more muffins." Nick said as he pulled the goodies out of his backpack.

"I was getting kind of hungry." He snatched a sandwich and poured some coffee.

He was rethinking his decision while he ate the sandwich and Nick wasn't helpful he hadn't spoken much since they left work.

"Nick what you wrote and what I said."

"Yeah."

"Well I guess I want to compromise."

"Yeah?"

"I want you and I can't go on like this. But I'm not good at secrets."

"How does Warrick know, what have you told him?" It annoyed him that Nick wanted to talk about Warrick when he was pouring out his innermost thoughts and desires.

"I haven't told him anything but he has asked a few things and I've answered. He guessed that I'd been raped and I talked to him about it a few times. And I mentioned that I wanted to get back in the game." He had moved closer to Nick and put his arm around him.

"He told me when we were alone in the lay out room that I should be gentle. And I had no idea what he meant." Nick had turned to face him and brought his hand up and cupped Greg's chin in it.

"Nick if I say stop it's because ya know so let's take it slow." He leaned forward and let their lips meet in a gentle kiss. It sent a shiver of lust through his body and he parted his lips to give access to Nick's tongue. The kiss was everything he had ever imagined it would be and then there was that tingling in his whole body as well. His hands moved up and down Nick's back and Nick gently caressed his back and sides.

"Stop." Nick withdrew as if he had been burned and his eyes had widened from fear.

"I'm ticklish on the sides you know that. The touch was too light and I'll just end up all giggling and I don't want that." He didn't want Nick to stop and replaced Nick's hands on his body and made sure to put them firmly against his sides.

Slowly the kiss deepened and their hands started to pull at their shirts to access naked skin and he finally got to touch Nick's beautiful strong well defined body. He removed Nick's shirt and started to play with his nipples making them instantly hard and he broke the kiss just so he could lick and kiss all over Nick's torso making him moan with desire.

"Oh Greg I've dreamt of this very moment for ages." Greg stood up and looked at him.

"So have I." He slowly stripped his shirt off while dancing to some imaginary song and he truly enjoyed the effect it had on Nick. He had practiced the tricks Catherine had taught him for ages in front of the mirror and now it paid off.

He straddled Nick and kissed him deeply letting his hands roam over the Texans body again. Nick had lost a hand in his hair and the other was on his lower back pulling him tighter and then he pulled them down on the rock. He was sure Nick's wasn't very comfortable like that but right now that really didn't matter.

Nick's hands had moved to a firm grip on his ass and was gently moving him back and forth causing friction for their aroused cocks. He wanted to go all the way but he hadn't brought condoms or lube not imagining that they would end up out in the wilderness making out. He moved to get a hand between them and started to undo Nick's belt.

"Are you sure you're ready?" The question was so gentle and right now he felt more ready than ever before.

"Yes but I haven't got any…"

"Don't worry I came prepared." More than prepared because he got up and pulled out one of those mats you put between yourself and the ground when sleeping outdoors and a blanket to go over.

They undressed each other and laid down kissing touching and caressing. Nick kissed his neck and moved on to his nipples and then further down over his stomach did a small tongue dance around his belly button and then continued downwards. Nick kissed his hips and the inside of his thighs and he was panting by now moaning Nick's name over and over again as Nick moved his kisses along his body. When he thought he couldn't stand it anymore Nick closed his mouth around the head of his cock and it felt oh so good.

"Nick you're so good. I love you." He panted hard now and he was trying not to buck his hips too much and Nick let his tongue dip into the slit and he went into sensory overload. He hadn't had sex for ages and now he was so ready and Nick was so good to him. Nick moved up and down on his cock in a steady increasing pace and he dug his hands into his hair yearning for more. Nick started to play with his balls and the soft skin just behind very carefully and then he came; feeling the orgasm spread from his thighs to the rest of his body. Nick swallowed and looked at him with a big happy goofy smile.

"I love you too Greg." Nick moved up and covered his torso with kisses before rejoining their mouths. He could taste the bitter metallic taste of himself and no kiss had ever tasted better before.

"Greg I want you to fuck me." Nick's hot breath gave him goose bumps on the neck and made his cock stand to attention again.

"I want you so bad Nicky. I wanna be inside you. I wanna know how your ass feels. I wanna make you come when you're happy." He stopped his speech when Nick put a bottle of lube in his hand. They repositioned themselves and he caressed and kissed Nick's torso and carefully avoided his cock and went on to suck his balls instead causing a mumble of words to escape Nick. When he had sucked each ball he moved his tongue over the soft skin and started to slowly prod at Nick's opening gaining access and playing around with his tongue while he lubed up two fingers.

He exchanged the tongue with first one finger making Nick gasp for air and then adding the other slowly moving them in and out and spreading them apart to widen Nick enough for his cock. Without speaking Nick pulled out a condom and rolled it on his cock and put on some lube. He withdrew his fingers and slowly entered Nick's tight ass pulling his hips higher to gain better access. It felt absolutely fantastic to have his cock inside Nick, and he thrust a little deeper each time now hitting Nick's prostate making Nick mumble and moan louder for each thrust.

He continued at a pace just shy of what it would take to make him come he wanted to enjoy this for as long as possible and he wanted Nick to loose it completely.

"Oh Nicky you're so fucking fantastic." He panted and increased his pace. He felt Nick tensioning under him and he came again filling the condom and lazily thrusting a few more times making Nick come too. He pulled out and licked up Nick's cum from his stomach and he could feel Nick still trembling. Discarding the condom he moved up to kiss Nick in a long deep kiss. They lay wrapped up in each other for a while before packing up and going home to his apartment.

At work one night Warrick asked Nick directly if he had sex with Greg when they were on their way out to a scene. Nick had had this big goofy smile on his face and it was evident that he was overjoyed. He knew how scared Nick had been of how Warrick would react and he was glad that Warrick just openly gave Nick his support. It boosted Nick's confidence enough to tell his parents and his mother insisted on meeting the man that had finally stolen his heart and didn't seem all too surprised that her little boy was gay.

His first visit in the Stokes family had been a partial success; most received him well but two of Nick's brothers in law were barely able to be polite to him. It took many years for him to realize that it was simply his personality they disliked and not homophobia. Nick had been accepted with open arms in his family and all the kids adored their uncle Nicky to a point where he nearly got jealous.

They both knew what it involved of risks to work in law enforcement even if they weren't on the street. But Nigel Crane almost took them apart. They were both extremely thankful that they used Greg's apartment and Nick only used his house to take a break away from everything. It made them go house hunting and six months later they bought one together giving some lame story at work about two singles sharing a big house was far better than living in two small apartments and that Nick anyway needed to get rid of his house. Grissom had called them on their relationship shortly after that and told them that he was okay with it as long as it didn't become a problem. It didn't, not even when he was blown up in the lab and all he remembered was feeling guilty that Sara went down in the explosion too. He survived the terror of Nick buried alive and he got out alive when he was held at gunpoint. Their love gave them the strength needed to come out on the other side fairly unharmed.

Children from both the Stokes and Sanders family loved staying with them for school holidays and during every summer they had the house filled with children; which gave an incredible empty feeling when the holiday ended. One year a 16 year old niece of Nick showed up in February. She cried her eyes out at first telling them why she was there. She had gotten pregnant and found out when it was too late and her dad had kicked her out and she could only think of coming to them. Nick yelled a lot at his sister and then enrolled his niece in the local high school and arranged for her to have her exams even though she would be giving birth in late may. A perfect little girl arrived and she was named Nicola and Greg got back to school. The baby took a real fancy to him so he went along to school and babysat while her mother was in class and later on at exams.

A boy of a murdered woman moved in with them as well and later a friend of his from school that had a pothead for a father and a mother nowhere to be found. Having a family and working long shifts did cause them some problems but they managed it together.

Nicola's mother wanted to go to college and decided to leave her daughter behind and to let Nick adopt her. They shared her college fee with her grandmother so she could study law; she was a real Stokes after all.

Over the years several children found refuge with them; some just for a few days before moving on and never to be heard from again, others stayed for longer and had them as backup parents and some adopted them as parents for life.

Having children meant them against the kids. So they did a lot of good cop bad cop. Nick was always the good one because he could never get really angry at the kids. Greg wasn't one to become angry easily but when he did everybody jumped to attention and humored him. He often wondered when they had become a copy of his parents. Nobody had ever said having children was easy and especially not when the children became teenagers.

But love conquers all as they say and 'they' are often right.

They worked better together than apart and they barely had to talk about what came next; it just fell natural.

Sometimes the others would leave interrogations to them, simply because it just seemed easier for them to make people talk.

Nick had come out gradually; it had taken him a long time to trust himself and other people enough. A few years after Nick had okayed living in public Greg got involved in the gay-rights community, rallying for marriage and adoption.

He had never thought he would end up in politics; but people listened to him and they respected him.

When he looked back on his life he knew that it had not started for real until the day he met Nick. Until then he had never been so happy, so scared, so excited or so much in love. Nor had he ever fought so hard for anything as he had for his life with Nick.

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