Title: The First Time…
Author: Dee
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 913
Pairing: Gil/Nick
Characters: Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes
Warnings: AU and v.fluffy! Major character death!
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: In my dreams they are like, totally mine!
Beta: jayceepat; any mistakes will be mine.
A/N 1: A sad, but poignant little tale, really about their life together, written a long time ago!

The first time Gil looked at me that way, I thought I wouldn’t be able to breathe again; that my heart would never start beating again.  The feeling was so physical it took me by surprise, and I guessed I was suffering, in those few moments, from shock.

 

The first time Gil kissed me was just, maybe, a minute following that look and I’d hardly had time to realise that all my dreams, all my wishes, all that I’d ever wanted in my life, could well be within my reach.  Gil’s lips had been warm and soft and the kiss had been almost chaste - to begin with.  As Gil had realised that his kiss was being reciprocated, he’d pushed his tongue through my willing lips and ravished my mouth.  The very first kiss.  As fresh in my memory today as if it had been a few minutes ago.

 

The first time Gil touched me…I’d thought I’d just come in my pants there and then.  The warmth of Gil’s hand had permeated the pants and underwear I’d been wearing.  I was harder that day than I’d ever been before.  The shock of Gil’s touch had caused me to leak so much that I had a dark patch on my pants and had blushed as Gil felt the wetness.  Gil had laughed, a deep throaty laugh I’d never heard before, and had moved his hand away and replaced it with full body contact, our bodies pressed together and aligned from toe to mouth.

 

The first time Gil unzipped me and pulled my cock from my pants I was sure I was going to faint from the lack of blood in my brain; that blood redirected to my cock which was nearly at bursting point.  Gil had just enough time to swallow me before I’d spurted what felt like the entire contents of my balls down his throat. 

 

The first time Gil fucked me it hurt so much I’d thought I was going to cry…in fact I did end up crying but that was not from the pain, no, it was the pleasure.  The stroking of my prostate by Gil’s cock.  The stroking of my cock by Gil’s hand.  The heat generated between our bodies.  The completeness I’d felt for the first time in my life.

 

The first time Gil invited me to sleep over and we didn’t have sex; we just cuddled down together in the warmth of the bed, and talked.  Gil wanted me for myself, not just sex, and I couldn’t remember ever being as happy as I was that night (day).

 

The first time Gil said, I love you, we’d been at the supermarket and were shopping for groceries.  Everything Gil had put in the trolley I’d taken out and told him it wasn’t healthy and that I had his heart’s best interests in my heart.  He needed to stay healthy and that wasn’t by eating junk food and sweet stuff.  He’d thought for a few moments and then said, ‘I like you taking care of me…no…I love you taking care of me…no…I love you.’

 

The first time Gil asked me to move in with him I’d been too choked with tears to speak for ten or fifteen minutes.  I’d then asked if I could do it right that minute and he’d laughed and said, ‘Well, there’s no time like the present’.  He helped me pack my clothes and some small items that day and I never returned to live in my condo.  My next move was with Gil and had been to a new house we bought together; we never moved again.

 

The first time (the only time) Gil and I had a really bad argument I thought I would die…and it was his fault…all his fault.  I’d packed a bag and had gone to a motel to curl up and die.  Within the hour he’d come to find me and admitted it was his fault and that he was sorry.  I knew he was sorry because he asked me to marry him; so that’s what we did.

 

The first time Gil suffered a stroke was just a week after our fortieth anniversary, not of our wedding, but of that first kiss.  The kiss that signalled forty years of togetherness, of love and living; of ups and a few downs….   Gil made a good recovery, his voice coach had his voice nearly back to normal and he could get around well enough with a cane.   He was eighty-eight and still the most intelligent man I’d ever met, his memory was far better than mine…always had been really…and he wasn’t slow to tease me about it either.  I didn’t mind that too much, like I said to him, ‘I’ll forget you teased me anyway.’

 

The second time Gil suffered a stroke, he died.

 

The first time Gil would never be back to sleep beside me, I lay in bed thinking about killing myself.  But I wouldn’t; I couldn’t.  I’d failed to pull the trigger many years before when I’d been buried alive.  Good job I didn’t.  I still couldn’t do it.  Gil would have been furious with me and what if there really was purgatory and I never got to be with him again?  He didn’t believe, but I take comfort in my belief.  I figured I’d wait my turn and besides, I had so many memories to remember - like the first time Gil looked at me that way…

 

The End