Title: Letting Go
Author: Mara
Rating: FRAO
Pairing: Warrick/Nick Warrick/Jim
Spoilers: Seasons one through seven.
Category: Hurt, Angst, Partner Betrayal
Summary: Letting go is a hard thing to do.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. All are owned by Jerry Bruckheimer and CBS. No copyright infringements are intended.
A/N: Tina never existed in this fic.

Warrick's POV

His hands touch my chest. His cock hard and hot melts into my ass. Our bodies merge and our feelings are doubled. Our hearts thump together, out of rhythm. His cock slides up and down my insides, and soon our hearts pick up the rhythm of the fuck. They beat against each other, synchronized, and then his heart swallows mine.

I come and I can't stop. He screams his ecstasy and his sweet agony is mine. Our bodies separate and I lay on the bed, gasping and drained. I shake my head, unable to speak. His soul is still inside me. I smell and taste him everywhere. He clings to me, inside and out.

I awake with a shudder, roll over and look at the sleeping form of my lover. Thank God, my gasping didn't wake him. I don't think he'd understand. I vaguely remember calling out for Jim in the heat of passion. That definitely wouldn't go over well, but I just can't stop it. The dreams they come to me unbidden and unsolicited. No, I'm lying. There not just dreams. They've become a reality. As time passes, our passion for each other grows, until one day it will consume us both.

I crave the sight of him on a regular basis now. I crave his touch and seek it out, subtle little touches that pass unnoticed by anyone watching. I don't know how many times we've lied just for a chance to be together. I can't tell truth from lies anymore, but I can't walk away either. I need him.

I know it would break my lover's heart if I left, but I just don't know how much longer I can stay. It grows increasingly difficult to hide my relationship with Jim. He wants me! He wants me with him exclusively and he's getting bolder in his attempts. I can't fault him for that. I wish I knew what to do. I'd ask my best friend for advice, but I don't want to wake him. We've been together for years now and I don't think I could stand to see the pain reflected in his eyes.

Jim's POV

"Come here, love." I whisper, my voice getting Rick to obey quickly. He can never resist my 'bedroom' voice. He stands up and crawls his way toward me. I snag him around his waist and pull him close, my hands latch onto that perfectly toned ass. I squeeze and rub gently, making him shudder and gasp as I rub his hardening cock against my stomach.

I quickly roll us both over until Rick is underneath me and I kiss him hard. His fingers thread into my hair and I groan into his mouth. He mumbles something incoherent and thrusts his hips forward. I can't wait any longer.

He arches up and hisses as I penetrate him in one long stroke. That sound tickles along my nerves like never before and I began thrusting my hips into him hard and fast, never letting up. He continues to moan and hiss his desire, driving us both insane.

I bend down over him and take his cock into my mouth. As I fuck him, he wails like a banshee. I change the angle of my thrusts and I'm rewarded with his fingers clenching into my hair as I find his prostate.

"Oh fuck! Oh Jim, fuck me! Ah! Yes! Gahhh!" He wails, nearing his orgasm. I don't let up off his cock and my hips became a blur of movement. I'm relentless in my thrusts.

"Rick...oh God! Rick!" I cry out, drawing back and forcefully grabbing him by the hips hard enough that I know I'm going to leave bruises. I want to mark him as mine, leave no doubt about who he belongs to.

"Jim! Fuck!" He arches his back impossibly high off the bed. I slam into him one final time, tipping us both off the cliff of ecstasy. Rick comes first, his cum splattering over my lips and pouring down my throat. I follow a moment later and come deep within him, shouting his name as his body milks my cock for every drop.

Sated, exhausted and sweaty, I collapse on top of him, breathing hard. I just lie there and listen to his heart thump wildly beneath my ear. I feel him brush back the hair from my forehead and I have just enough energy left to smile.

I hate it when that happens. It feels so real. My cock is still pulsing from the aftereffects. The worst is waking up, reaching for him and finding I'm alone. There's nothing to hold but a god-damned pillow. That really sucks! Something's got to give. I can't take much more of this. I want him all the time. I know it's hard for him to walk away from the lover he's spent the last seven years with, but this isn't healthy for any of us.

I don't know what to do. I wish I could talk to someone, but the one person I want to talk to is on the other side of town curled up with his lover. Fuck! I'm slowly losing my mind and it's beginning to show. I'm afraid one day I'll just snap. I dread that day, but I know it's coming. It's inevitable. He's mine and the consequences don't matter anymore. All that matters is that we're together. I need him.

Nick's POV

Emotions shimmer like soft kisses. Joy, sadness, confusion, love. I search for the love--I try to bring it back and make it stay--but it is fleeting. He fucks me. I feel it against the roof of my mouth. His cock pounds my asshole and he kisses me while he pumps.

He teases me, tickles me, and fucks me with unbelievable force. I feel happy, full and loved. With one last slam of his body, I come. It is real and physical, and when he eats my cum, I come again. His lips nuzzle my hair. He whispers in my ear. "I love you, Jim. I love you."

The words penetrate my brain like something out of a horror movie. Even expecting it, I still cant't believe it. I roll over and look at him. He is gasping for breath and then his eyes fly open and I quickly clamp mine shut. I try to even out my own breathing, so he won't know I'm awake. I think it worked. I hear him take another ragged breath before his breathing becomes regular once more.

After a few minutes, I venture a look at him. Damn he's beautiful! I've never seen anyone more beautiful than Warrick. We've been together forever. Well, seven years, almost eight, it just seems like forever--I guess.. In the beginning, I was sure it would last forever, but then nothing ever does.

I'm not sure when it all started to slip away. I guess the first time I noticed was when Rick got back from LA. He was different somehow. I thought it was stress, but then a few days later I noticed that Jim was acting strange too. Things just seemed to escalate from there. Warrick has been steadily pulling away form me and gravitating towards Jim. I see the way they look at each other. I noticed the subtleties of their interactions. It was nothing flagrant, but it still hurt.

I thought I'd lost him for sure when Jim almost died. I watched him crash into himself and the only thing that brought him back was the fact that Jim lived. However, he didn't leave me. I don't know why, but I'm grateful to have had the extra time with him. Now, that time is coming to an end.

Jim is not the most patient man in the world. He takes every chance he can to be with Rick. Can't say that I blame him. I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm gonna have to let him go. I'd fight it if I could, but I don't want Rick to suffer anymore. It's too painful to watch. I don't know what to do. I wish I could talk to my best friend, but I don't want to wake him. He hasn't been sleeping very well lately.

Oh, well, tomorrow is another day and maybe a solution will present itself like a bolt from the blue. I doubt it, though. It's hard to let go. I still need him. I don't want to destroy what we have. I'd give anything to be able to salvage our friendship at least. Time will tell if anything is salvageable.

I know I'm the one that's gonna have to make the break. Rick doesn't want to hurt me, but he already has. Life will go on. Maybe not as sweetly as before, but it will go on. I could never completely turn my back on him. My love for him is too strong, but I know deep down that Jim loves him too. Maybe that's enough for me to finally let go. We'll see.

The End