Title: Gregomulcia
Author: 0creativity
Rating: Uhm... I don't know. Nothing bad, though.
Summary: Greg finally makes a scientific discovery.

Greg knew he was dreaming, but damned if it wasn't the best dream he'd ever had (not counting the ones of naked Nick, of course). He had finally done it. After countless months of research and experiments and only getting a couple of hours of sleep a night, he had finally created his own scientific theory: Gregomulcia. Gregomulcia is, of course, a theory that directly links the sexual arousal one feels when being fondled to the size of the surrounding crowd; therefore, the larger the crowd, the greater pleasure one feels when one is fondled. What's more, the Council of Unusual Sexual Practices was most interested in his theory and had invited him to give a lecture on it at the annual CUSP convention next month. Greg was incredibly excited, and no one had even fondled him.

He was positively brimming with excitement by the time Nick got home. Before Nick even had a chance to get his jacket off, Greg had him pushed against the wall, kissing him hungrily. Although he didn't want to have to stop, he realized that oxygen was a necessity, so he peeled himself away from Nick so they could catch their breath. Nick raised an eyebrow at him before asking "What's got you so uhh... excited?" The gleam in his eye told Greg that he was proud of the double meaning he had worked into the question all by himself, even though Greg was fairly sure his nine year old niece could have come up with something better.

Greg grinned and told him all about the good news and all about how they'd both have to ask Grissom for time off. Nick looked at him, puzzled. "And why am I coming along?"

"Well," Greg started, "aside from the fact that you love me and want to support me in all my endeavors, you were also a very vital part of the research that we did. Also, there's no way I'm going to an Unusual Sexual Practices convention without you, because you'll never believe that any of these practices really exist and if you don't believe then I'll never get you to try them.

Huh. Made sense to Nick. "And you really think that Grissom'll give us both a few days off so you can present a lecture that has nothing to do with your job?"

"He has to doesn't he? We have the time and no one else has asked off yet. He can't just say ‘no' because he doesn't like what we're going to do with the time off."

Nick guessed he had a point. "So, what do you say about starting the research on my theory?"

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"Grissom? You got a minute?"

"Sure Greg, but you're going to have to make it quick. What do you need?"

"Uh... Nick and I are going to need the weekend of the 17th off next month. Is that OK?"

"Hmm... Well, I'll be gone that weekend too. I'm due to present some fascinating research on cockroaches at a convention..."

Greg was wondering how many conventions could be held on a single weekend and was just considering the possibility that maybe Grissom was going to the same convention as them, when Grissom spoke again. "I think we should be able to work it out, though. Surely Sara, Warrick, and Catherine can handle the place for a few days.

Greg's grin went from ear to ear. "Thanks, Griss. We appreciate it."

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"First, I want to thank you all for attending today. Through thousands of hours of research and countless experiments with my assistant," at this, Greg motioned towards Nick, who took a step forward, "I have finally arrived at a theory that attempts to make a connection between crowds and the pleasure factor of being fondled. The theory of Gregomulcia states, quite simply, that the larger the crowd, the more pleasure you will feel when being fondled. At this time, I'd like to ask my assistant, Mr. Stokes, to please help me in a demonstration."

The look in Nick's eye was predatory. He advanced on Greg, pinned him against the wall and kissed him hard, all the while groping any part of Greg he could touch. Hands were making their way under shirts and finding belt buckles and tongues were seeking entry and the Pleasure-O-Meter Greg had hooked himself up to before the lecture was threatening to blow up. He could see the stunned reaction of the crowd behind Nick and somehow their reaction made him even more excited. The crowd was going wild, they couldn't believe it, finally, after all this time of waiting, a new deviant sexual behavior to engage in! Greg had just made their year and at that thought, he grew even harder. Suddenly, Grissom was there too, a disappointed Grissom, asking, "Greg? Greg, why didn't you attend my lecture on the cockroaches?"

Greg sat bolt upright in his bed, screaming, cold sweat plastering his shirt to his skin. He had been hard just a few seconds ago, he knew it, but then Grissom had shown up and...

Greg shuddered. Damn Grissom for ruining one of his hottest dreams. Nick stirred next to him and opened his eyes, asking Greg what was wrong, his voice still thick with sleep. Greg just ignored him and went back to sleep, afraid that if he opened his mouth, he would vomit.

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Greg walked into Grissom's office, wondering what his supervisor could possibly want. "You rang, Grissom?"

Grissom looked up and nodded. "Yeah, I was looking over this case file and I remembered how you knew all about liquid latex, so I thought maybe you'd know about this too. Do you have any idea what Gregomulcia is? We can't find anything other than that it's something sexual."

Greg quickly exited the room, muttering something about not being an expert on all things sexual, not daring to meet Grissom's eyes.

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A/N: Gregomulcia is actually not a theory, but an unusual sexual practice, but I figure anything is possible in Greg's dreams. Also, in my happy little world, Greg is a CSI but the team split never happened.