Title: When I Grow Up
By: KatyDid
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Nick's had a long day at work and is surprised by what he encounters when he returns home.

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Some nights were worse than others. Some shifts inevitably harder, whether it be physical, mental, emotional or"”worst of all"”all three rolled into one gigantic mess. Some mornings Nick walked through his front door feeling as if all his energy had been zapped by some mystical force and he had nothing left but to serve as a punching bag for every suspect that he came across. Other times, Nick felt as if his job was taking over his life forcing him to become too much of a grown-up. And wasn't that the saddest part of this whole thing? Being the runt of a family of seven, he had quickly learned to fend for himself or get left with the scraps. Stealing bathroom time against the protests of some very scary teenage sisters, which many times proved detrimental to his health. Hell, Nick could still pinpoint the scar on his left ankle due to a rather nasty debacle against the fifth Stokes child.

As a kid, Nick couldn't wait for the day when he would be big and strong. Big enough and adult enough to do what he wanted when he wanted. To be able to stay in the bathroom as long as he liked without threats of malicious harm from his sisters. He wanted to be just like his older brother"”the eldest Stokes child"”in every way. Sure, he tried to impress Billy every chance he got, and yet he always got the feeling that his big bro was simply placating him. Nick couldn't wait for the day when he was big, strong, and confident and just like his idol. After the incident with the babysitter when he was 9, Nick wanted more than ever to be a grown-up, to be able to say no and have it mean something.

'No point in going there now, Nicky' the CSI couldn't help but think to himself, 'It's over. She can't hurt you anymore. You're big enough and strong enough now to fight back. You're on the good guys' side.' Still, Nick couldn't help but feel like maybe he was a little too grown-up now. His latest shift, which had collided with a senseless and gruesome mass murder of a family of five, had only served to extinguish one more sparkle from his dark eyes.

Maybe he was getting too old for this.

As he trudged up the concrete stairs towards the townhouse he shared with his beloved, Nick felt all of his 35 years and then some. With a slight breeze flowing around him, Nicky placed the key into the lock and opened the door...immediately to be calmed by the feeling of "home" that hit him. The slight musky smell of two men living together combined with the homey feel of the decor lightened his heart a bit as he realized how lucky he truly was. And yet, his mind remained heavy with the horrid acts of violence he had just witnessed. They clung to him like a blanket of filth. Nick couldn't help but wonder, how much more could he take before it finally broke him?

He slowly made his way upstairs into the master bedroom, unbuttoning his shirt as he climbed and eventually taking it off and shedding his shoes next to the bed. He was about to remove his pants next when he heard a slight noise coming from the adjoining bathroom, which made him pause in his actions.

Noticing the door was open enough to allow a sliver of light to escape into the room, Nick peeked in to see the cause of the noise. Sitting there right in the middle of a bubble bath, with a spiked-mohawk-shampoo look, sat his boyfriend. In all his naked glory....Playing with a battleship......And singing.

"Rubber ducky, you're the one....mmmm....make bath time so much fun...."

Nick couldn't help the smile that threatened to break his face in two even if he wanted to. His eyes sparkled with love just watching the man he treasured so at peace with himself and the world.

So intent on making swooshing noises as he decided his battleship needed to sink underwater temporarily to avoid an attack by the allied leader, Master Duck, Greg remained oblivious to his boyfriend's presence.

"You won't ever take us down," Greg murmured imitating the sailors on the battleship.

"Bwahahaha," he continued in an imitation deep voice so as to keep up with the rubber duck's side of the battle. "You are mine! I will win and rid Bubbleland of your kind forever!"

With those last words, Greg maintained a look of consternation as his left hand brought Master Duck flying down towards the water and the battleship.

"Nooooo!" his high-pitched squeal emanated for the inhabitants of the ship.

"Boooom! Pssssh! Kaboom!" Greg carried out the imaginary fight between the duck and the tiny gray ship as the two items fought in the sudsy bubbles. A large quantity of water along with a pink bottle of bubbles washed over the rim of the tub as Master Duck completed the attack and capsized the battleship.

"Exemplary work, Master Duck," Greg addressed the plastic yellow toy when he brought it to eyelevel. "You have succeeded far greater than expected," he continued in a mock-serious voice, "you have taken down the last enemy ship and with its demise so went the evil dictator Mr. Bubbles."

He awarded Master Duck's win by giving him the most honored place in the tub area to reside"”the soap bin. "You shall reign over all for now until the end of time. You have saved us all," Greg finished up with a mini bow to his new leader.

It was Nick's solitary round of applause that brought Greg out of the drama existing between Master Duck and the evil Mr. Bubbles. "Wow. For a second there, I was afraid Master Duck wouldn't make it out alive."

Playing along with the charade, "Yeah, well, it was a really violent skirmish, but the evil Mr. Bubbles didn't stand a chance against a rubber duck with his own song."

"Ah...very true."

"Hi," Greg said as if this was the most logical progression of their conversation.

"Hey."

"You okay?" Greg immediately noted the haunted look in his lover's eyes. The pit in his stomach only grew when he took notice of the weary lines beginning to show around his eyes and in the center of his forehead. Greg knew that brow frown was indicative of a bad night for Nick. He hated seeing that look.

"Yeah...just a long night," Nick all but sighed out the words.

Biting on his bottom lip, Greg debated on his next course of action. Nick was clearly troubled by his latest shift and the former lab rat only wanted to see that Nicky smile. "Why don't you come join me?"

"Uh...I don't know, G," Nick's tone was clearly hesitant. "I'm not sure that there's room in there for you, me and Master Duck."

Smiling at that Greg said, "Come on. I'll even give you a stylish mohawk so you can be as cool as me."

"As tempting as that sounds..." Nick hedged trying to turn down the offer. He just wanted to lie down and forget about the past few hours before he had to wake up and do it all over again. Sleep never seemed so depressing.

Knowing his boyfriend was trying to duck and run and yet, also understanding this wouldn't do Nick any good, Greg pushed forward, "If you won't do it for me, at least come in and pay homage to Master Duck," a pleading note to his voice. "It would just be plain rude if you didn't," Greg remarked as if Nick was an idiot for not thinking such a thing first. "Besides with Master Duck in the soap dish...um, I mean on his throne...there is plenty of room for all of us and well if there isn't I can always sit on your..."

Shaking his head and letting out a tiny sigh of amusement combined with a chuckle, Nick finally agreed. He slowly removed his remaining clothing, careful to fold each piece and set them aside on the counter. Greg moved forward slightly and allowed his older lover to scoot in behind him. Greg leaned back into the broad chest relishing in the comfort he always derived from the Texan's strong arms as they wrapped around his leaner body.

"See perfect fit, now," Greg took a deep breath before continuing, "are you ready to tell me that you're not okay?"

Nick couldn't believe how perceptive his boyfriend was. Not only did he recognize the lie by omission Nick had told, but he also realized that the older CSI was more likely to open up if he didn't feel like he was on the spot"”if he wasn't being stared at. So he tightened his arms a little firmer around the lithe body in front of him"”his lifeline"”and was finally able to open up.

He kissed Greg's temple and whispered softly in his ear, "you're too good to me, you know that?"

Greg allowed a small smile to escape and snuggled deeper into the hold knowing silence was the best way to get Nick to continue.

"Sometimes I think I've seen the worst people can do...that nothing will get to me anymore. But then there are nights like tonight when an innocent family was gruesomely murdered just because of a robbery gone wrong. Some were just kids...sleeping in their beds. They didn't even know what was happening and they sure as hell didn't deserve this." He barely got his recollection of the night's events out before a light bout of sobs began.

"Shh...its okay...it's all gonna be okay," Greg murmured as he slid his hands up Nick's arms in an attempt at comfort.

Leaning into the younger man for support, Nick was able to continue, "I think I just might be getting too old for this stuff." He sighed once again. He was frustrated and confused and extremely disheartened. "I just wish it was easier."

"Hey," he whispered but with no acknowledgement from his bathmate, "look at me," Greg maneuvered the upper half of his body around in order to bring his face within inches of Nick's. "You care more about those victims than anyone in that lab. You make these cases personal, Nicky. It's one of the things I love about you quite honestly. They aren't just victims for you...they're people."

"I don't know, Greg," he shook his head, determined to drown his lover's words out, "sometimes I think we should be more like Grissom"”mechanical in a sense."

"Maybe that works for Griss, but not you." But Nick still looked uncertain so Greg plunged on. "Answer me this then. What did you do tonight after the scene was processed and the bodies taken to the morgue? After your shift was over, because don't think I didn't notice you were two hours late."

"I don't understand, G."

"Yes, you do. Tell me. What. Did. You. Do?"

Knowing the answer his lover was looking for, Nick surrendered. "I talked to the grandparents of those kids...they were heartbroken. No one should outlive a child...let alone your grandchildren."

"Exactly. You took time out that the city wasn't paying you for to talk to those people...to make them understand what had happened and help them cope."

"Greg..." Nick tried to protest.

"Oh, don't 'Greg' me," he chided lightly. "It's who you are, Nick. It's what makes you a great CSI and exactly what made me fall in love with you. I wouldn't have you any other way."

Feeling uplifted by his lover's sentiments, Nick leaned in to give Greg a long drawn-out passion-filled kiss. Pulling away so that his lips skimmed Greg's as he whispered, "Thank you."

~~*~~


Later that evening as the two prepared for bed, Nick felt a sense of rejuvenation and light-heartedness he didn't think would ever come again. So maybe he hadn't grown up to be exactly like his older brother. Nor was he still too young to have a say in his life. But with the empowering words from his lover, maybe he wasn't too old for this job. At least not while he still had Greg and Nick definitely viewed that as a forever situation.

Settling down between the sheets, he kissed Greg firmly on the lips. "I love you, baby."

"Mmm...I love you, too."

"Thanks again...for tonight."

"Nick...how many times do I have to tell you to stop thanking me? We're in this together. When you're down, I'll be there to slap you across the head and set you straight and I know when I'm feeling upset, you'll be right there to lovingly cradle me within your big strong arms." He couldn't help but tease Nick just slightly.

Chuckling to himself, Nick responded, "Only if Master Duck is still in power."

As Nick drifted off to sleep he could've sworn he heard Greg humming the tune to "Rubber Ducky," but Nick wouldn't have it any other way.

Finis

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