TITLE: Lost & Found: Hard Decisions
AUTHOR: sexycazzy
FANDOM: NCIS for now (will be NCIS/CSI: NY in later chapters)
CHARCTER(s)/PAIRING(s):Tony DiNozzo, Jethro Gibbs, Jenny Sheppard, Tim McGee
RATING: PG-13
GENRE: slash, hurt/comfort, romance
WORD COUNT: 1,565
SUMMARY: Tony makes a few hard decisions which will affect his future at NCIS.
WARNING(s): none for this chapter but there will be a D/s & BDSM theme in later chapters
SPOILER(s): This is set in Season 4, so there might be some minor spoilers for some episodes, but nothing major.
DISCLAIMER: NCIS and its characters doesn’t belong to me, they belong to the show and its creators.
WRITER’S NOTE: Love & Found is a series which is a crossover with NCIS and CSI:NY. I'm so excited about this and hopes that you will enjoy reading it as much as I did writing this.
Beta~ed by the wonderful murgy31 . All other mistakes/errors are all mine! Comments & feedback always welcome!

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Tony was in Director Jenny Sheppard’s office, waiting for her to arrive. While he was waiting, Tony saw that there were flowers on the desk and went over to try to steal a look at the card to find out who sent them.

“I hope there’s a reason you were looking at my flowers?” Jenny asked as she closed the door behind her.

Tony jumped and turned around. “I was just admiring them. Flowers are one of my passions, Jenny.”

Jenny raised an eyebrow and walked over to her desk. “Tell me, what’s the name of the flowers, then?”

Tony looked down at the flowers. “Umm, yes...the colour and the green thing they are attached to...”

“Stems,” Jenny interrupted.

“Yes, stems. Um, it’s right on my tongue...” Tony spluttered.

Jenny rolled her eyes and held a hand out, and Tony put the card on her hand, his head hung in embarrassment.

Jenny walked around the desk and sat down. She took a file off the desk and handed it over to Tony.

“Congratulations.”

Tony frowned, confused and looked down to the file and he read that he was being promoted and was given his own team in Rota, Spain.

“Uh...I don’t know what to say.”

“Your performance over the last few months has been excellent, Tony. You led the team well in Gibbs’ absence,” Jenny explained.

At the mention of Gibbs, Tony tensed up. He remembered when Gibbs finally came back from Mexico, and went over to see him.

[start of flashback]

There was a knock on the door at Tony’s apartment.

Tony looked up from the sofa, and frowned. Who it could be at this time of the night? He got up and went over to the door.

Gibbs was standing on the other side of the door. Tony gulped hard and gestured for Gibbs to come in without a word.

“You’ve done well, DiNozzo,” Gibbs said as Tony closed the door behind him.

“Thank you. Of course, it would have been better if you stayed,” Tony said, and Gibbs winced as he heard the hurt in Tony’s voice.

“I had to leave,” Gibbs shrugged. “There was nothing here to stay for.”

Tony’s eyes widened and glared at Gibbs hard.

“I thought we were something to stay for?”

“Don’t, Tony. I-I can’t do this again,” Gibbs said.

“But, why? Were you just using me?” Tony got into Gibbs’ face.

Gibbs gave a low growl and pushed Tony away. “I came to tell you that we are not starting this up again. I can’t do this. I loved Shannon...and I’m not going to get involved with a...”

“Damn-it, Jethro, I knew about Shannon and Kelly. I knew that you loved them. But I also thought that you loved me too,” Tony said, quietly.

Gibbs grabbed Tony’s collar roughly and stared at him. “Don’t talk about them. I never loved you...” then Gibbs let go of Tony’s collar. Tony swallowed; he has never seen Gibbs like this. His eyes full of sadness but also full of anger. He looked at Gibbs, sadly and knew that he lost him for good.

“Get out,” Tony said.

Gibbs went to the door and just before he left, he said, “I’m sorry.”

“Just...get out!” Tony yelled, holding back the tears.

Gibbs nodded and left. As soon as the door closed, Tony just collapsed on the floor in the hallway and cried. He stayed there all night.

[end of flashback]

Tony was brought back to the present when Jenny clicked fingers.

“You okay?” Jenny asked, concerned.

“I’m fine,” Tony said. “About this promotion, can I have a week to make a decision?”

Jenny nodded. “But, Tony, if you pass this up, another opportunity like this might not come up for years. “

Tony dropped the file on the desk and made a small nod in understanding.

“Can we keep this between the two of us?” Tony asked.

“If you wish,” Jenny replied.

“Thank you,” Tony said as he opened the door. “I appreciate it.”

Tony closed the door behind him and sighed heavily. As he went down the stairs to the bullpen, Tony was amazed that he was given an opportunity to get away from Gibbs, but going all the way to Spain wasn’t something he wanted to do. He didn’t want to be far away from Abby or Tim, two of his closest friends and probably the only family he had.

At least Tony had a week to decide.

As Tony made his way to his desk, he saw Gibbs at his desk but he didn’t look up. Tony sighed and sat down at the desk.

“What did Jenny want with you?” Ziva asked from the opposite.

Tony grinned. “She wanted my body, Ziva.”

Ziva rolled her eyes. “In your dreams.”

“I’m hurt. Jenny could have wanted me, you know?” Tony pretended to look hurt.

Ziva snorted. “With the body you got, who would want you?”

Gibbs’ phone rang just then.

“We’re on our way,” Gibbs said down the phone and hung up.

“Grab your gear!  We’re heading out.”

Ziva and McGee grabbed their ruckbags and headed out, with Tony and Gibbs trailing behind. When their shoulders bumped into each other, Tony tensed up as Gibbs looked away and walked ahead of McGee and Ziva.

If McGee or Ziva noticed, they didn’t say anything as they got into the elevator in awkward silence.

* * * *

Tony was at McGee’s desk, poking playful at McGee as he was typing on the computer.

“Probie, didn’t you hear me?”

McGee looked up, and pulled Tony’s hand away. “Oh, I’m sorry. Were you talking to me?”

“There’s no one else in the squad room. Of course I was talking to you!”

“Oh, I thought I heard you say probie. Since Agent Lee was being reassigned to the legal department, I wasn’t sure who you were referring to.”

Tony chuckled. “I’m sorrrry. I get it – you don’t like being called probie.”

“Things change, Tony. You were team leader, now you aren’t.”

“Pro-o-o-bie, don’t you think I would be rated my own team?”

“Well, if you were, you won’t be here, would you, DiNozzo?” McGee asked.

Tony stood up and looked at McGee. “Yeah, I suppose you are right...listen, if Gibbs asks, tell him I went out for lunch.” Then Tony walked out, not hearing McGee calling out to him, apologizing and saying that he didn’t mean it.

“How long I’ve been in NCIS?” Gibbs said behind McGee. McGee turned around and looked at Gibbs.

“Sixteen years.”

“And who still calls me Probie? Think about that.”

McGee made a small nod and looked down at his computer, sighing. He wished now that he never said anything. Of course, Tony deserved his own team. McGee wished that he said that instead of saying mean things. He just wanted to wind Tony up.

He didn’t see Gibbs walking away and following after Tony.

As the doors to the evaluator was about to close, Gibbs slipped in and Tony stepped back to the wall, not looking at Gibbs.

“Going down, DiNozzo?” Gibbs asked.

“Yeah, thought I would ask Abby out for lunch.”

Gibbs nodded, not that Tony could see.

Then Tony turned to Gibbs and said, “We need to be more civil. Ziva and McGee are starting to notice that things are not right between us.”

Gibbs stared at Tony, causing Tony to feel nervous and tensed. Then Gibbs said, “I’m sorry.”

“Just don’t,” Tony sighed, running a hand through his hair.

Gibbs nodded again. “I will try to be more civil if you can, DiNozzo.”

“I can be civil, Boss.”

They stood in silence the rest of the ride down, and when the doors opened to Abby’s labs, Tony stepped out without a look back.

* * * *

It was a few days later, when Tony and Jenny met again, this time at Tony’s desk. There was a box on the desk.

“Are you sure about this?” Jenny asked.

“I’m very sure. I couldn’t do it anymore. The last few days were bad enough, without Gibbs ignoring me and only talking to me when it was necessary. The others were beginning to notice,” Tony replied.

Tony handed an envelope over to Jenny. “This makes it official.”

Jenny took the envelope and looked at Tony, sadly. “Yeah, I can understand. I wish I had the courage to do what you’ve done.”

“So you’re not disappointed?”

“Well, I’m disappointed that it had to come to this, but no, I’m not disappointed with you. You’re doing the right thing. Someone else would be very lucky to have you, Tony,” Jenny smiled.

“Thanks...” Tony paused and walked around to put his arms around Jenny. “I really appreciate all the things you’ve done for me.”

There was a choke in Jenny’s throat as she hugged Tony back. “Just be happy.”

“I will,” Tony promised as he let go of Jenny.

Jenny nodded and walked away, leaving Tony alone in the bullpen.

Tony started to pack a few things into the box and realized that there was not a lot of stuff to pack away. He chuckled and walked to Gibbs’ desk.

Taking out a small black box which had Gibbs’ medals inside, Tony placed it down on top of the desk, along with an envelope.

Taking a last look around the bullpen, Tony smiled sadly and then he walked out.

Next story in series - Saying Goodbye