Title: The Long Haul
Author: Sonia
Email: caseyanddan@yahoo.com
Pairing: Warrick/Nick
Rating: R (mostly for language)
Archive: Any slash archive. Just let me know OK?
Spoilers: Stalker
Disclaimer: If I were Bruckheimer I would be living in Queens now would I?
Note: This was inspired by "Overjoyed" by Stevie Wonder. It's not a songfic really. Yet. Hope you enjoy it. Please let me know what you think. Not betaed so if it stinks it's all my fault.
Told from Warrick's POV.

I have no idea how this happened. I had turned my life around. I was doing good. The job was Ok. That fucking gambling monkey is off my back. Well it hadn't disappeared completely. It never does. It's just goes to sleep for awhile. Like it's had too many bananas and it had to go lay down somewhere.

The point is I was doing all right. Then that damn stalker showed up. What the hell was that all about? Nick is a trouble magnet I guess. A guy was living in the crawl space in his condo, watching him sleep, eat and everything else. How creepy is that? Total psycho. That's when it started. I felt like I had to watch out for him. You know be around in case there's more trouble. It started as watching out for trouble.

Now I just watch him. I watch Nick Stokes. I love to watch him eat, work, do just about anything. I want to spend all the time I can with him. Of course, he thinks I'm just being a good friend. Oh baby I want *so* much more than that. He's got no clue what my game is. I was bisexual before it was a fad. Grissom knows because I was dating a mutual friend when I joined the team. Nobody else does. I'm not hiding it. Well Ok I'm not telling people either. I haven't been with a man in years, so it never came up. Until now.

Now this thing for Nick has a hold of me. Hell, sometimes I feel like I'm not treating him much better than Crane did. I'm thinking things I have no right to think. Things I know he couldn't possibly want. How do you tell a man whose been through that kind of shit, "I want you in my life and in my bed." Especially one that's not "interested"? Damn. All it took was one shower for my life to take a left hand turn onto Fucked Up Street.

*

I was washing off the "remnants and remains" as I call them when he came into the shower. He was still bruised from his encounter with the ground outside of Crane's place but they were fading. I should have known right then that something was up with me. We've showered together for years and I never looked before. I mean, of course, I've seen him naked but not ...nude. He has a great body. Not an ounce of fat with broad shoulders and cut arms. Not flashy just smooth. Just the way I like 'im.

"Hey Nick how you doing today, man?"

He stood under the hot water and started to lather up.

"Good. You?"

"Can't complain. Even if I did who'd care?"

He smiled "I would. That's why I asked, stupid."

It was good to see that smile again.

"Breakfast?"

I hesitated for a minute. I was bone tired. So tired breathing was a chore. This was the first time he had showed an interest in hanging out since he came back to work. All right Rick dig deep for the reserves.

"Sure. T-bone Diner?"

"Yeah. Their steak and eggs are calling me."

"Protein junkie."

"That's me."

We dried off, dressed and headed out when we passed Catherine in the hall way.

"Hey Missy" I said.

"Warrick. You look remarkably clean this morning, considering the case you worked last night."

"Yeah. I figure one of man's greatest inventions was soap."

"True." She turned to Nick and she got that "momma" look on her face.

"Hey you headed ho....out?" Home was still a sensitive subject for Nick. He was hold up in a motel for now. Repairs needed to be made first. Then an exorcism, a ritual cleansing and any other blessing he could think of before he went back. I offered him my place. So did most of the night shift but no dice. He didn't want to be a "burden". Dummy.

"Yeah we're going to the T-Bone. How about it?"

For some reason I was hurt. I wanted him to...myself. Just the two of us. I didn't know why. Honest I really didn't.

Fortunately Catherine begged off. I tried to look neutral about it. I even asked her to reconsider.

"No thanks. I'm in a coma as it is. See you later."

We walked over the diner, talking about nothing in particular. The usual after work bullshit.

Steak, eggs, oj, coffee (unleaded so I can sleep.) and toast. The breakfast of CSIs.

We chewed and slurped in silence until most of our meal was done. I wanted to find out what was really going on with him So I asked.

"So what do they say about your place...you know. Moving back in?" I regretted asking the minute he looked at me. He paled a bit and he may have flinched.

"Two more weeks at least. I don't know what I'm going to do. The department gave me two weeks in the motel. They are going to charge me the regular rate after that. I got to go after Friday." he mumbled.

I was pissed off. He had probably been worried about this for days. I knew him well enough to know that much.

"Nick, man, why didn't you say something! Come stay with me. You know you can, right?"

"I know. I just...it's not easy, you know. I feel like...I don't want to be any more trouble."

He looked so lost. He squirmed a bit and fooled with his napkin. He also stopped eating. Me and my big ass mouth.

"Trouble? You are so wrong about that." I leaned forward trying to catch his eye.

"You've been great through all of this Warrick. Everyone has. I know you were there for me after...I just don't want to..get in the way." He pushed the words out like they were going to burn him.

"Nicky look at me. Please." I poked at his foot with mine.

He looked at me, not in the eyes but it was better.

"You're my friend. We're also teammates. I should have been there to protect you from Crane" He flinched at the mention of his name. I knew there was more. I knew he was sufferin'.

"Nick what are you trying to tell me? What is it?" It seemed like an hour before he let out a breath.

"I have nightmares. Bad ones. I...haven't slept through the night since...I don't want to bother you with all my shit. I can stay at my place in a couple of days. The bedroom will be done and..."

"Hold it. First of all if you didn't have nightmares I would be worried." He tried to cut me off. I held up my hand to stop him. "SECONDLY, you should have someone around maybe it would help. I want to help you, man."

"Warrick..."

"Think about this then. If you stay at your place all you're goin' do is slow those guys down. Do you want that? Maybe the nightmares will ease up once you're in your own bed? Waking up in a generic hotel room every night can't be good, right?"

He smirked "If I wasn't alone then it might be fun."

"What?" Sometimes that boy confuses the hell out of me.

"Waking up in a generic hotel room night after night. It might be fun if I was with somebody."

"I'm ignoring that remark. Look, you'll pack up and come to my place tomorrow after our shift?" I wanted this for some reason. Badly. I could feel this acorn of emotion opening up inside me. Something was happening. I wanted a chance to protect him. Like I should have in the first place. I tried to convince myself that's all it was but deep down I knew better.

"Yeah. Thanks Rick. I won't forget this."

I decided to try to lighten things up a bit. I said "No sweat but first we need to straighten out a few things."

Now he was the confused one. He frowned "Like what?"

"I need some rent money plus a deposit for all the extra food. Just because you're in a bad way doesn't mean you get a free ride." I looked at him dead serious. I was wondering if he was going to take the bait. He didn't disappoint me.

"Shit it will only be for a couple of weeks and I eat out like you do plus you invited me...". He stopped. I could see the wheels turning.

"You fuck!! Kicking a man when he's down." He tossed his napkin at me and laughed. I felt like a knight in shining armour. I was going to able to help him after all.

*

The next afternoon we packed him up and drove over to my place. I haven't lived with someone I wasn't sleeping with in a very very long time. Same for him. It's a whole different set of muscles. We agreed on two things right away. No sleeping naked and no eating in the bathroom. Don't ask about that one.

After we made room for his things, I cooked some breakfast and we watched some TV. When you work nights you end up doing one of two things. You get hooked on soaps and court room reality shows or you tape prime time stuff and watch it in the afternoon. It turns out we're both hooked on Judge Judy and Passions. We conk out at about 1 and sleep til it's time to go to work. That became our routine. It felt good to have someone around again. Someone to laugh with and just be with. He's easy company. I got a kick out helping him out. I felt like a real do gooder. That lasted a week and a half. By the end of one of our "routine" days I was going to feel like a no gooder. One afternoon reality jumped all over my ass.

After some food and Judge Joe Brown it was time for some sleep. He had been quiet all day but nothing to harsh. Sometimes you just don't feel like talking, you know?

"I've got to go, man, I'm beat." I got up off the couch and moved towards the bed. Nick didn't move.

"You're not sleepy?"

"Nah, I'll read or something. I won't make any noise. Promise." He gave me a small grin.

"What's up with you? You've been funky all day."

"Nothing just thinking."

The light went on and the doors opened. Earlier that day, Sara had mentioned his apartment, him going home and shit like that. He must be freaked out. I sat down next to him on the couch. I tapped him on the knee and told him "You can stay here as long as you need to."

For a second he didn't know what I was talking about.

"How did you know I was thinking about that?"

"You're an open book, Kemosabe. Come on, try to get some sleep. We can talk about it tonight if you want." I got up again and stretched out my hand. He took it and levered himself off the sofa. I held on to him for a split second longer than necessary. God his hand felt good in mine. Of course I had to let go before he noticed.

He put on his brave face. "OK I'll give it a try." He made up the bed quickly while I laid down on mine.

I was in the snuggled down sucking your thumb stage of sleep when something tickled my mind. You know how something flashes in your head while you're sleeping but you can't quite get a grip on it. If you try to catch it, you'll wake up all the way. I refused to budge until it happened again. Shit.

I cracked open an eye and looked over to where Nick was suppose to be sleeping. I sat up and looked around. Nothing. Now I was getting worried. The next thought scared the shit out of me. Crane. Fuck he's in jail, right? The next thought after that was where's my piece? I started feeling for it under my pillow.

"Nick? Where are you?"

Bathroom door was open so he wasn't in there. I got up and looked in the kitchen. He was on the floor with his back against the wall. His face was covered with his hands. He was sort of curled up on himself with his knees up. I could tell by the shaking he was in the middle of some heavy shit.

I squatted down on the cold floor next to him.

"Nicky? Why didn't you wake me up?" I wanted to touch him but I wasn't sure it would be welcome.

He snapped at me "I couldn't do that. I'm not a little kid with the Bogeyman after him." To someone else he might have sounded angry but I knew it was fear talking.

"Hey man I'm just saying if you in trouble I'm here."

He started to shake again and some tears started to spill from his eyes. He whispered "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." He damn near broke my heart with that sentence. He was being chased by the Bogeyman. Only his was real. I put my hand on his shoulder and he took the cue. He wrapped himself around me like a sarong. We were both shirtless so I could feel his skin against me. His chest was pressed to my side trying to find some comfort. I held him for a moment. I rubbed his back and I kissed the top of his head. All the things I had started to think about doing. Under very very different circumstances of course.

Don't go there Rick. He needs you AS A FRIEND not Mr. Lover Man. I knew then I was in deep and taking on water. Fast. I let go first and slipped away from him.

"I'll be right back OK?" The sad little "Yeah" I got in response was almost too much. Bathroom. Cold water. Splash face. Look in mirror. Ask this question of yourself.

"How hot is Hell because that is were you're going you useless sonofabitch. I can't believe I'm getting turned on by his pain? What the hell is the matter with you! Jesus!"

I calmed down with some deep breaths. Nick needs you I thought. For some reason I liked that thought. I took a damp cloth out to him and pressed to his face.

"Can't have you going into work all puffy faced. They'll think I'm beatin' you."

He looked at me and gave a small laugh "I wish you would. It's got to be better than what's happening. Fucking screaming in the middle of the day. Neighbors must be calling the cops right now." He dropped the cloth on his face and put his head back.

"Nah. They're use to strange noises coming out of here."

Removing the cloth "Yeah like what kind?" with a cocked eyebrow.

Danger Warrick Brown. No sex talk not now. "You ready to try this again?"

"Nope, I'm done. I will get off the floor though." He held out his hand and I took it. The heat of his palm against mine did bad things to the nads. Watch it man. You're in your tight whiteys. No way to disguise it if you sprout some wood.

"Well, I'm going back to bed. You OK for now?"

"Yeah. Sorry about this, man. I tried to tell you." He was ducking his head again. I wasn't going to let him get away with that. I shook my finger at him.

"Don't ever apologize about this again. I'm here for the long haul. We'll figure this out."

He looked up. Just then I saw something in his face that I couldn't quite make out. Gratitude, hope and some fear but there was something else. He moved towards me slowly and put his arms around me.

"Thanks. You're a really great friend." I squeezed him back before turning away as quickly as I could. One more hug like that and I was going to embarrass myself. I climbed into my bed thinking, Hell is a vacation spot compared to sleeping seven feet away from Nick Stokes when he is needy, scared shitless, grateful and in his underwear.

Yup. Hell is the Alps in springtime compared to that.

So that's how I ended up here. That was two days ago and he's still having trouble sleeping. I'm having trouble getting to sleep too but for a very different reason. I have this deep need to keep him safe. If Crane comes after him again,he's going to have a talk with my .45. Of course there's nothing I can do about what's going on in his head. All I can do is not make things worse. I've got to keep these...feelings under wraps for the time being. I don't need to add to his troubles. It's just attraction. A curiosity. Yeah I'm curious about his lips, his hands..on me...everywhere. Ok back off. Lust is dangerous. Lust can get out of control. I know it's more than just lust. It's more than that. The time he's been here, I've gotten to really know him. He's a good man. Nononono. I'm not falling in love with him. I haven't been "in love" since the twelfth grade. Oh God, who the fuck am I trying to fool? It could happen if I let it. He's everything I've ever wanted. He's funny, smart, great at his job with a heart as big as Texas and a very munchable ass..

"OK, soon I'll be writing this shit in a pink diary. Just get some sleep Warrick."

I lay down, still not sleeping and I hear him in the living room. The TV is on just low enough to annoy me. I've got to get out of here. I get up, pull on my jeans and grab my ball. I go into the living room and get my keys.

"Damn, I'm keeping you up ain't I? I'm sorry, Warrick. Go back to bed. I'll go to a movie or something..." he starts to get dressed.

For some reason I'm mad now. "Don't. Just stay here and relax. I'll go. There's a game at the Y in the afternoons."

"I'll go. I can't run you out of your own place." He's taking the blame for my attitude. Fuck.

"You're not running me out. I just can't sleep." I looked at him and realized I didn't want to leave him here alone and feeling bad.

"Get dressed." I say as I throw the ball at him. "We're going to sweat the heebjeebs out of the both of us."

He grins at me and starts looking for his clothes. It's not a good thing for me to watch him dress. He's been here two weeks and he's gotten more and more comfortable with our living situation. We get home and before I've got the lights on he's naked. Well not naked. He's always shirtlesss now. I've turned up the air conditioning trying to freeze him back into his clothes. It's not working. His nipples could drop off from the cold but he's not budging. Two weeks ago he wouldn't leave the bathroom without being fully clothed. Now he comes out swinging in the breeze. Damn boy have some mercy on me!! I've had my way with myself so much over the last few days, I'm going have to take me out to dinner and a movie soon.

Now he's bending over to get his t-shirt off the floor and in my filthy mind I can imagine slipping into that fine ass. I look away before I do something stupid. My dick is starting to stir again. Ok the hardon killing thought of the day is my Aunt Bertha in her nightgown. Oh yeah that worked. He's speaking now. Pay attention.

"You sure about this? Last time I pretty much kicked your skinny butt."

"Those bad dreams are making you loopy, son. Never happened."

"You calling me a liar?"

"Always" as I smile at him. He smiles back and I swear an actual spark lights between us. Where the fuck did that come from? It can't be that he likes me? OK I'm sounding like a schoolgirl again. The moment is gone so quickly I feel a breeze past by me.

We are at the door when the phone rings. The hell of being a CSI. Just like cops even though we have shifts we are really on duty 24/7.

"Hold up Nick I better get this."

"Warrick"

"Mr. Brown?" Sounds like a bill collector. Damn it.

"Yeah" I must have sounded annoyed which I was.

"Eh, Sorry to disturb you. I'm Mr. Lasker of JBJ Realty. I have this number as a way of getting in touch with Nick Stokes. Is he there?"

"Just a minute." I hit the hold button. "You know a Lasker from some realty company?"

He moves towards the phone. "Yeah they manage the condo complex. Must be about my apartment." He takes the phone from me.

"Hello. This is Nick Stokes"

He nodded and answered questions "yes" "no" and "thank you". His grip on the phone tighten a few times. This can't be good.

"Whassup?" Please don't let his place be ready. Please.

He turned to me and I saw that pale tight look from a few days ago. "My place is done. They worked double time on it and it's ready."

I said please didn't I? I knew this was coming but not so soon. A few minutes ago I was leaving to get away from him.Then I decided to take him with me. Now I don't want to let him go.

"They want me to take a look at it and sign off on the repairs." He sat down in the chair in the living room. He looked like he was ready to lose his breakfast.

"Have you been over there since..." I don't remember him mentioning it.

"No, I've been living out of a bag for a month. It was a fucking crime scene. I couldn't... Sara packed a bag for me while they ...cleared the scene. I haven't been there since. I guess I should get over there before our shift and take a look."

I put down the basketball. "Come on let's go then" as I open the door.

"You'll take me over there?" he said in a small voice.

"I'm not even going to dignify that question. Of course. The long haul remember?"

He patted me on the shoulder as he passed through the door. "You turning into my best friend you know that?"

"Ok ok don't get all mushy on me." It might sound like I'm blowing him off but I got a huge lump in my throat.

In my car on the way over there we didn't talk at all. The closer we came to his place the harsher his breathing got. Finally I pulled over on a side street about a half a block away.

"Nick come on man calm down. You're hyperventilating". He reaches for the handle of the door with this wild look on his face.

I jump out of my door and chase him down. "Nick!!" He turns around and starts backing away from me. His hands are up in a defensive posture.

"I can't go back there, Warrick. God I can't. He was there for who the fuck knows how long!!! Watching me. In my own fucking home. I can't."

I should have seen this coming but I didn't. Now we're standing in the middle of the street and he's having a major freakout. I need to get him back in the car.

"Ok you don't have to go there. Ever again. Just come back to the car with me. Please baby it's alright. Come on." I got an arm around him and went back to my jeep. Jesus the doors were still open and the motor was running. Lucky this didn't happen downtown. This thing would have been long gone. We closed the doors and I pull away. Nick is somewhere else mentally. He's all hunched over against the door. He looks like a whipped dog,shaking like a leaf. His breathing is still too fast. Now I'm scared. After about ten minutes he still hasn't said a word. I'm thinking maybe a visit to the emergency room at UNLV is in order. I peek at him and he looks a whole lot better than he did when we got back in the car.

He sat up a little. "Where are we going?"

"I don't know. Just driving around."

"Man I'm sorry about..."

"If you say you're sorry one more time I'm gonna..." I make a fist.

"Ok ok." he says with a chuckle. His mood takes a nosedive again. "What am I going to do? I don't think I can live there anymore."

"Maybe it's just too soon." I want to tell him he can stay with me but I can't. I can't have him so near, so close but not with me. Talk about torture.

"Move then. Vegas is a big city. There are a few empty apartments in my building." Smooth Warrick. Real smooth. Just offer him an engagement ring next time.

He turns to me with a funny look like he's considering it.

"I can't move. I own the place. I sunk every penny I had into it."

"You can sell it and get something else then."

He snarks at me, "After the neighbors tell all the prospective buyers about what happened. How much do you think I'd get for it? No thanks."

He stops talking and just stares out the window. I hear him shift in his seat a couple of times. The tension is killing me.

"Warrick?"

Finally. "Yeah?"

"I do have another option and I need some feedback. I talked to my folks a few days ago. My dad sort of suggested I cut my losses and go back to Texas. You know, a change of scenery." He's looking square at me,waiting for an answer.

Fuck me gently with an umbrella. How did I not see this coming? I heard him on the phone but...I never thought he would really consider it. What do I say now? My first instinct is to beg him to stay. The first reaction is usually the most risky one.

"What do you think about that?" COPOUT. BULLSHIT ALERT.

He rolls his eyes at me "I'm asking you. What would you do?"

I've got a way out of this one. "Vegas is my home, man. I've got no other place to go. No family that I know of anywhere else so I'm stuck."

He's like a dog with a big juicy bone. He keeps gnawing away. "Ok but what about just taking off? Starting over in LA, San Francisco or Seattle?"

He's pushing me to say something. Something he wants to hear. Something he needs to hear. Sometimes I'm really stupid. Or stubborn. Or both.

"If I was in the same situation as you, I wouldn't do it. He'd win. He'd have taken everything that means something to you. Your job, your friends, everything. Don't let him win Nicky." I'm all tight in my chest. I need to end this conversation. Fast.

"I sort of figured you would say that. I think there is another reason you don't want me to go." he whispered.

Red flag waving. I'm tempted to pretend I didn't hear him.

Trying to keep it light "OK,tell me why I don't want you to go?" I added a phony ass smile.

He doesn't buy it. Not one bit. Now he's pissed off and he has every right to be. "Don't do that, man. You don't *know* what it cost me to say that. Be straight with me OK?"

He's looking away again,out the window at the moonless sky. I'm headed to the station since it's almost time for our shift. I didn't realize we had gotten so far away. My heart is doing the cha cha and I can hardly see. This feels like a game of Truth or Dare gone horribly wrong.

"You're one of my best friends. Of course I don't want you to go. I'd miss you alot." I hope that's enough for him. I take a quick glance and I can see it's not. He knows. Lord he knows. I'm about to lose control of the car. I haven't been this wound up since the day I saw him go through that window.

He leans forward and rest his hand on my arm. "Pull over here. We're both a little crazy right now. If we're going to do this.I need to see your face." I pull over to the shoulder.

"We're going to be late." How lame is that? Like I give a fuck about the job right now.

He looks at the dash clock and says as we come to a stop "No we're not. Plenty of time."

I turned off the engine and put on my hazards. I feel like I drank some novocaine and I'm numb all over. This is not how I pictured this conversation.

He's turned to me fully now. He huffs out a short breath. "Babe, aren't you ever going to make your move?"

"Excuse me?" Now I'm delusional. Great.

"Warrick give it up, man. I've caught you looking at me. I thought I'd freeze to death showing off for you." He gives me a half grin.

I'm so shocked I can't say anything. I can't believe this is happening . I can't think straight. Oh there is a pun for you. Why am I so scared? He knows and apparently he's willing. That is probably what scares the shit out of me. I'm a fuckup in the relationship department. If I hurt him I'll never forgive myself. I've forgotten something haven't I? Oh God, I'm still in the car with Nick!! Shit he's looking at me and he's totally backing off.

"Am I wrong?" His voice is just this side of shaky.

I look in his eyes for the first time since we got back in the car.

"You're not wrong. Nick,look I know the last few weeks have been real shitty and I didn't want to add to the pile. I just...started feeling something...for you and I..."

He puts up his hand in a stop gesture "Wait. You thought the last few weeks were all bad for me? Nota ll bad. The best thing that's come out of all this crap is being with you. You're a great guy and, I hope, a good kisser." The smile on his handsome face lights the inside of my car.

The ball of twine that was inside my stomach was starts to unwind.

"You're not turned off by a man wanting you?"

He shakes his head "Not if it's someone special like you." He reachs up and tugs on one of my dreds. He looks so innocence. I would jump in front of a speeding truck for him at this moment.

"If this works out, I'll talk to you about these." I slap his hand away. We both hestiate. I put my hand on his shoulder then run my fingers through his hair.

"Yours is just right." I move in slowly to give him time to back off. He doesn't. We kiss just enough to make our lips wet. He tastes like pancakes on a Sunday morning. I end it first. I want to make sure.

I put my forehead against his. I'm rubbing the back of his neck now. I feel a little tension in the muscles. We are so close together I have to close my eyes or I'll go cross eyed.

"Yep I was right." He's all red and flustered. He's beautiful.

"About what?"

"Your mouth is a lethal weapon. My dreams aren't as good as the real thing." He dreams about me. I'm not flattered. I don't deserve it.

"Nicky, you're calling the play. Slow, fast or not now. Whatever you want."

He shakes his head which wiggles mine. "I'm so mix up right now. I need to figure things out first. Give me a few days to settle...my life OK? Just promise me you'll be there on the other side."

"The long haul Nicky. I'm going to be here as long as you want me."

It's not the answer I hoped for but it's good enough. Good enough for now.

After some more necking, all mouths no petting, we *are* running late. Ever try to drive fast with a hardon? It's not easy but fun. Especially when the reason for my condition is sitting next to me with a cat that ate the canary smile of his face.

"What you grinnin' about? You must think that was something special uh?" He makes me feel so damn good.

"It was according to little Warwick." He reaches over and strokes my crotch.

"First of all if you want to get to work in one piece you'll keep your hands to yourself. Also you haven't seen "little Warwick" when he's red-hot and ready, so I think you should reserve judgment for now."

He is still laughing when we pull into the garage at the station. He stops laughing and it hits us both what just happened. Our whole world has changed in the last few hours. I start to say something when he picks up my hand and holds it tight.

"I know I said I want to take things easy. I've got to figure out a lot of shit in the next few days. I still want to...be with you. Like before you know, just hanging out with a little something extra." He peeks up at me from under his lashes with his lady killer grin. Newsflash it works on men too.

"Being with you makes the ugly stuff a little easier."

I don't know what to say except "I'm here for you."

The smile I get in return tells me I said the right thing. I could love him. Yes indeed love is a definite possibility.

"Nicky, we've got to keep this on the dl for now. Grissom is the only one who even knows about my "switch hitting abilities" so we've got to be cool, you know?" He's chuckling so I guess he agrees. I should ask him about his experiences with men but there's no time. We start to get out of the jeep when Sara pulls in. I still don't know what to think of her. She's definitely got a thing for Gris. She is barking up the wrong tree. Someday I might just do her a favor and tell her that.

"Hey guys. Nick, did the realty guy reach you this afternoon?"

"Yeah."

"So? Is your place ready or what?"

He's starting to get that look again. Pale tight but not quite frightened. How can she not see how uncomfortable he is?

"Let's go get our assignments for tonight." I walk between the two of them and we all head inside. She takes the hint. I look back at him and he's mouthing "Thank you" to me. He makes me feel like a hero sometimes.

Gris and Catherine are waiting for us in the lab.

"Nice of you three to show up." Ol' Snarky says in the way of a greeting.

"Ok Warrick you've got a female jumper at the Mandalay."

"Cool." I take the case notes from him.

Catherine is immediately on the warpath. "Gil, you KNOW I wanted that one!!"

Everybody wants this one because women don't usually do it that way.

She says, "She was fouled. I'm telling you!! Pancaking isn't a woman's way. She was pushed or thrown or something."

Gris smirks at her "Warrick will figure it out. Won't you Rick?"

Oh he's terrible. The women are practically chewing at their leashes. I wonder why he's egging them on?

I feel like putting in my two cents. "Theorically women don't jump because of a hidden desire to leave a good looking corpse. I just don't get that. What difference could it possibly make what the hell you look like when we're scraping you off the sidewalk?"

Sara practically lunged for my throat. "That's why women don't jump. It does matter."

"This woman climbed over the railing on a 29th floor balcony and pitched herself into the sweet bye and bye. If it holds true two things are obvious. She wanted to die for real and if she was at all vain she got over it."

Gil now has a smirk of his face that tells me he's enjoying this a little too much. Nick is playing observer on this one. I'm teamed with Catherine after all of this arguing, which is why Gil was grinning in the first place. She was going to get a crack at this case all along. He just wanted to see her fight for it. I love him but that man is seriously damaged goods.

We start out to the parking lot when I feel a tug on the back of my shirt. It's Nick. "Can I speak to you for a minute before you go?" Sara and him are have been assigned a hit and run across town. We weren't going to see much of each other tonight. I have a feeling I know what he wants. It's the same thing I do. He leads me to the break room. OK now I'm confused.

"Nick, man, we can't *say goodnight* here. It's all windows."

"The only room in the whole station without windows is the broom closet. You want to try and explain both of us disappearing into a closet?" His eyes are sparkling. He's getting me hard standing 3 feet away. I fold my arms in front of me to keep from touching him.

"Just meet me back here when you're done. Remember you drove today. Also keep these thoughts with you." He shifts his stance just a bit. His jeans are bulging out in all the right places.

"You should know, I'm not that experienced with men. I've kissed a few. I've received some excellent hand jobs in my time." He moves closer to me. I can see the sweat beading on his upper lip. The tension in his face. God what he must look like when he comes.

"I'm ready for at least that much. Tonight. Are you?" I've got a redwood in my pants and he's asking if I'm *ready*?

"You told me to take this slow and I will but if you don't get out of here in the next 30 seconds..."

He shrugs his shoulders at me. "All I'm saying is I want you as much as you want me. It's going to drive me crazy not being with you tonight." His eyes are burning my skin. I swear to God I can smell him right now. I can't breathe.

"You're playing with fire Nick. You better not be teasing me."

"If you can't tease your lover, who can you tease?" He tips his head to the side and licks his lips in very fuckable way.

Nick said the word "lover". Jeez. How am I supposed to focus on the job when I have all these filthy images in my head? I need to touch him. I need to see him hard and wanting me. I need him.

"We have to go. I'll see you tonight." I start to walk away when he reaches for my hand. I turn around and look at him. I see a whole lifetime in his eyes. He holds my hand tightly but he doesn't say anything. He doesn't have to. I can hear the voice inside of my head telling me to kiss him. I want him to feel what I'm feeling.

"Nick.."

"I know. Me too." His voice is smoky, like he just woke up. Sexy as hell.

He lets me go and I practically run away. Maybe I should stop in the bathroom and handle the problem? No, Catherine is waiting for me outside in the garage. I'm still a little hard and breathing heavy. I've got to calm down. She is so fucking observant, she'll see right through me.

She stands up straight when she sees me approaching. Damn it! If I didn't know better I could swear she looked right at my groin. The look on her face tells me I'm soooo busted.

"Ok, who is she?"

"What?" Playing stupid doesn't work with her but I'm defenseless right now.

"Oh come on. You're beet red, breathing like you've just run 10 miles and...um...your flag is at half-mast. I know she works here. Unless a two minute phone conversation is all it takes to get you so worked up." She got that "I've got you" look on her face. A few weeks ago I would have taken that look and used it in my nightly "push and pull" session. Not anymore. I've got something much better.

"Depends on what's been said." Nick walks out of the door and I can't help but look at him. He stares straight at me just a little too long. He gives me his little flip wave and nods my head. He has a confident walk but you can tell he's still a believer. Even after what's happened, he's still open to the world. He's also mine if I don't fuck it up.

"Holy shit." I hear her whisper. Of course I completely forgot who was sitting next to me. Fucking idiot! I turn to look at her and she has me in the crosshairs. Mouth slammed tight, her eyes squinted like she's going to shoot.

"Cath..." What am I going to say to her? All we've done so far is made out and I can't hide how I feel. I waited so long for this. Now I'm about to find out what the price is. I just put my head down.

"Are you fucking nuts??!!" She practically screams at me. I pull out of the garage and into traffic. The crime scene is six miles from here. Oh that's just great. Stuck in the car with a very angry woman.

"You made a move on Nick?! NOW?! After all he's been through..." She's clearly disgusted with me. That seriously pisses me off.

"If you think I would take advantage of him in anyway, you don't know me Catherine. Not at all. I wouldn't hurt him for anything in the world." Oh God how did I get here so fast.

I can feel her back off a little. "I know you wouldn't hurt him. I wouldn't let you." She stops talking for a minute and for that I am truly grateful.

"Do you think it's real?"

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Warrick, you've got to know that Nick would fuck Saddam Hussein at this point if it made him feel safe. He needs that more than anything right now."

Now I'm getting worried. What if she is right? Shit.

"Thanks Catherine. That makes me feel really good about this. I'm just a bodyguard for him?" If I wasn't driving I would walk away. The knife in my back is twisting to the left.

"OK that was a shitty thing to say. Sorry. I'm just asking if you think...if you want..." She mumbles something I can't understand. I know what she's asking. She wants to know if I want more than just a fuck. She wants to know if I could give him what he really needs. She wants to know if I could love him. I think I already do. I just can't say it yet.

"I think it's real. It sure feels that way."

"Good." She lets out a breath. A few more minutes past as we inch along in traffic. The silence is very loud. I know she's not finished with me.

"I thought it would be Gil." she blurts out.

"'Cuse me?"

"I was just thinking. I always thought if Nick were to take a walk on the wild side it would be with Gil."

Hello??!! "Why?" Don't get me wrong Gil is cool and he's had my back when I needed him the most but...honestly I've just said no to the idea of him with anybody.

Catherine seems to have other ideas. "Please!! Sometimes the way he looks at him, I expect him to burst into song. I never noticed any heat between the two of you. When did this happen?"

"It's been gradual but I'm definitely feeling the heat now." I can't stop the smile that's all over my face.

We finally arrive at the scene. We work it to the bone. No question she did it. The vic jumped off the balcony willingly. She left a note behind that was difficult to read because it was so full of pain. The loneliness of the words left a sticky residue all over me. Just a day ago I was where she was. Just an empty shell going through the motions. Just the thought of having a chance with Nick has changed that. Changed me. The last straw for her was her husband of 17 years leaving her after he met a woman online. Like this world isn't cold enough.

We are finished when Catherine's cell rings. I turn to pack up my case. When I turn back around she's right behind me. She takes my case from me. She has that "momma" look again. Every major organ in my body stops functioning.

"Catherine..." I back away from her. I don't want hear a goddamn thing she has to say.

She moves towards me. "It's OK. Nick's Ok. He needs you. Now."

I can barely hear her over the blood rushing in my ears.

"What?"

"I just got word. Crane committed suicide. Sarah says Nick left their scene and she doesn't know where he went. Find him Warrick. Fast."

I run to the Tahoe leaving behind things that don't matter to me anymore. Only one thing matters now. Finding Nick.

I jumped into the Tahoe and got on my cell. I didn't know where I was going. I dialed Sara's cell.

"Sara Sidle."

"It's me. What happened?"

"Grissom called me and told me about Crane. He wanted me to send Nick back to the station so he could tell him himself. Some ass wipe cop got to him first."

"Is he driving?" I needed to know how far he could get on his own.

"No. He just walked away." Now I'm very scared and mad as shit.

"Why did you just *let* him go*??!!"

"Hey wait a minute. I'm just as worried as you are but I'm working a crime scene here. I can't go chasing after..." I don't need to hear the rest of this so I hang up on her. I'll deal with her later.

Think Warrick think. Where would he go? Then it hits me. I dial the station. Grissom answers.

"He's here." His voice is calm but you can hear the tension if you know him.

"Is he OK?"

"No."

"Did they bring Crane there?"

"Yeah." He hangs up. I turn the car around and head for the station. I've got it now. Crane had taken everything away from him. His peace of mind, his security, his privacy, and his place in the world. He even tried to take his life. He hasn't had a safe harbour for a long time. He needs to confirm that the monster is dead. Really dead.

I pull into the garage at the station. I'm greeted at the door of the morgue by Dave and Gris. I look at Grissom's face and as usual I can't read his eyes. Dave is looking appropriately freaked out. I don't know if that is a good sign or not.

"He's in there?" I say as I point to the exam room.

Dave says "Yeah they both are. He wanted to be alone with him for a minute." I look at Grissom and he gives me an odd look. I think he sees something in my face that wasn't there before. I go through the door. Nick is just standing there over the body of Nigel Crane. Not saying a word just staring.

"Nick?"

He doesn't turn around or even acknowledge that I'm in the room. I move closer but not too close. I don't know what to expect.

"He's the only person I ever wished dead. I've never wanted someone to die before." His voice is just a whisper but with the echo it sounds like five people speaking at once. It shakes me up. He is still staring at Crane. I put my hand on his shoulder. He tightens but doesn't move away.

"This isn't your fault, buddy. He was a wack job.I'm just surprised he didn't do it sooner. This was his fate."

I move closer and now I can see Crane on the table. He's blue and his head is at an obscene angle.All this and the ligature marks around his neck are all you need to figure out how he ended his life.

"It's over now. He's dead. He can't hurt you anymore." We both know that's bullshit but it will have to do for now. I turn him slowly towards me. I need to see his eyes. They tell me all I need to know. They are filled with sorrow, loss and enormous relief. Relief that should feel good but it doesn't. The relief comes at a terrible price. Crane had to die for this relief to come.

"What do you want to do now?"

He leans into me, putting his head on my shoulder. I kiss the top of his head and wrap my arms around him tightly. I can feel him fighting to keep it together.

"I need to feel something...else. I need to feel good again. I want to feel that with you." I have an idea about what to do. I think I know what he needs.

"Lets go home. We'll get a pizza. Then we'll do very bad things to each other. Things that we'll need instructions for. How about that?"

"Home. Going home with you sounds very very nice."

He starts to laugh and I hold tight because this kind of laughter usually turns to tears. I'm right. I can feel his legs turning to jello. I'm holding up both of us. I look around and find a chair. I walk him over to it, turn it so that it faces away from the table. I sit him down in it and I squat in front of him,taking his hands in mine. He's crying a little but not too much. He turns around to look at the body. I turn his head away.

"Look at me Nick. He doesn't matter anymore." I don't know why this comes to mind but I start to sing softly "You and I. We fit together like a glove on hand. That's right. Don't you know that I would gladly take you anywhere, you wanted to go." He guffs and says "That sounds familiar."

I smile "It's Rick James. Come on let's get out of here." When he gets out of the chair, I kiss him. His lips are salty and dry.I deepen it stroking his tongue with mine. He sucks on my lower lip like he's hungry. I take his face in my hands. It's there. I can feel it. You know how you get tangled in your blanket while you're sleeping? You keep fighting it and fighting it until you give up and let the blanket win? I'm losing the fight. I knew I would the minute I found out he wanted me. If I say it softly maybe he won't hear me.

"I'm falling for you. Big time." It's not what I really wanted to say but it will have to do for now. Be careful what you wish for.

"Let's go home." I don't think he heard me. I put my arm around his shoulders and give him a squeeze before we go through the doors. I'm very happy to leave Crane behind. Hopefully for good. Gil comes towards Nick and gives him a grin.

"Take him home Warrick. Tonight is slow and we'll beep you if you're needed. OK?"

"Thanks. Oh do me a favor and call Sara. Tell her everything's cool." Let him face her first.

"Oh God Sara..." he says shaking his head.

"I got it Nick. Just take it easy for now." Gil says to our backs.

I lead him to the car. The ride is quiet until I ask him what he wants on his pizza. The usual, mushrooms and sausage. I add a six pack of Coronas to my order and we're headed out.

I get in the door and he takes the pizza from me and puts it in the oven. The beer goes in the frig. I'm puzzled but I go with the flow. He steps up to me with a look in his eyes I've never seen before. He takes his hand and rubs my face. I turn to kiss the palm of his hand. He smells of sixteen different things and they are all good. As he wraps an arm around my waist, I realize this is the first time he has held *me*. This is a feeling I could definitely live with.

"I heard you." Holy shit. My face must have been a sight. He grins and let's go of me. He takes off his shirt and reaches for his belt buckle.

"Quick and dirty or quick and clean? Your choice."

My dick just sat up and said hello. "Why quick?" I'm taking off my shirt with shaking hands.

"Because you're not going to last very long." His voice is about two octaves lower than normal. It tickles my balls. I decide on quick and dirty.

"Now is good for me."

That earns me a hot grope. His hand finds a nipple and gives it a firm twist. His mouth finds the side of my neck. The bites are just firm enough to sting but not hurt. He uses both hands to massage my ass, pushing our crotches together. I dont have my pants off yet but he does. I had forgotten how different a cock looks when it's hard. His is nice and thick with a nice plump head. His balls are nice and round but slightly unequal.I wrap my hand around his cock for the first time. He's starting to leak and I run my thumb through the precum. He draws in a sharp breath and rocks back a little on his heels. He's right. Neither one of us is going to last very long. It's almost too much. It makes me even harder thinking that I can do this to him. He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

He turns and heads for my bed. His ass is very white and very smooth. I've dreamed of fucking him for weeks. Now that it's happening I'm disconnected from it. I'm not sure why this seems so surreal to me. I guess I envisioned us doing this is a romantic haze. Candles, music playing the whole bit,not at all like this. I'm taking off the rest of my clothes as quickly as I can. He's laying there, naked and nude. I move towards the bed and he gets up on his knees. He reaches down and starts stroking my cock at a very fast pace. I put my hand on top of his and show him how to do me right. Now it's real. Very real. I feel the calluses on his hand from target practice. His trigger finger is on just the right spot to make my gun fire. His kisses are taking on some heat. I lick his face and neck like a cat cleaning its kitten. He laughs when he realizes what I'm doing and he starts to purr. I push him back on to the bed and lay down next to him. I'm stroking him slowly from base to tip. His balls are heavy and sweet in my hand. His head is back his mouth open breathing like he's being crushed by some great weight. I take a nipple in my mouth laving it and loving it. His hand on the back of my head let's me know I'm on the money.

"Oh God. If you suck cock the way you're doing my nipple, I'm in for a good time."

I let go enough to say "You've never been blown by a man right?" He looks down at me with the smile of the sexually aroused.

"You get the first shot."

Virgin territory. What a gift. Make it good Warrick. I want him to come back for more.

I position myself between his legs. There isn't much he can hide from me now. I've got an all-you-can-eat buffet in front of me and I don't know where to start. I sniff the hair on his balls and I get a whiff of everything that is Nick. Sweat, soap and for some crazy reason I smell cinnamon. I lick him from the soft area behind the balls to the crown of his dick. Basically I'm trying to tease him into coming. He is grinding his crotch into my face trying to get me to go for it. I have mercy on him and take his cock into my mouth. The moans are getting louder and louder. I apply pressure on all the good points. I finally get the words that I'm been wanting to hear.

"Oh God yes baby yes. I'm goin'...I'm goin' *cum*. Oh Jesus."

He's straining upwards. His legs are folded on either side of my head. I can feel his toes clenching. The first burst of cum is in my mouth and I swallow fast. I haven't tasted cum in quite awhile. It just like the warm salt water rinse you use for a canker sore. Only better. Especially when it belongs to the right person. He rides the orgasm train for a few minutes. When he finally looks at me,he's got the goofy grin of a spent man.

"Shit, man, you should've done that to me the first night I was here. I would never want to leave."

"I'm not letting you go anywhere now. You owe me rent money remember?" He sits up and lays me back. The kiss I get is one of gratitude. It's not meant to heat you up but it lights me up. I haven't cum yet. I remind him of that in a very blunt way. I put his hand on my incredibly hard dick. He stops kissing me and pulls back.

"What do you want me to do?" He's clearly nervous but I'm not letting him off the hook.

"Do you want to try sucking me?" The look I get tells me the answer to that is *no*. " Come on it won't bite you." He moves down and stares at my cock like he's never seen one before. He handles my balls very nicely, rolling them softly in his hand. He takes my cock in both hands and sort of passes his tongue over it. I barely feel it. Then he chumps down on it like it's a carrot stick. It hurts like shit but I don't want to discourage him. He backs off and sucks just the head a little. The pressure is good but it won't get me to the river if you know what I mean. Then I flash on an image that I very much want to try and create. I put my hands on his shoulders and squeeze a little to make him stop. He looks up at me in a very shy way.

"I'm really bad at this huh?" he mumbles.

"No baby it's Ok but I want to try something else." I smile and he seems to take the hint.

I turn us so that I'm on top of him, I straddle his thigh and start humping his leg like a dog. He holds me tightly to him. Oh God the only thing better than a good dry fuck is a real fuck. Oh Jesus, I'm getting closer and closer. The spiral is going further and further down. I'm grinding for all I'm worth when I realize he's talking to me.

"God you're beautiful. Is this what you're going to look like when you fuck me? When your beautiful brown cock slides into me. Yes I know that's what you really want. Open your eyes. Look at me. Cum for me. Come on. Let me have it. Let me see your eyes." he demands.

I manage to open my eyes and look at him. It's like looking into a mirror. I see in his face all the sensations I'm feeling. Then I feel it. Right before the last note of my favorite tune I realize he's gotten hard again. I grab hold of his shoulders and let it happen.

"Ohhh God *Nicky* I love you so much ohhhh god yes I'm cummmmm...ah shit..."

The waves wash all over me and I float on top of them. My heart is pounding, I'm out of breath and I can't feel my legs. This is the reason people love to have sex. The best moment is right after you climax but before you have to get up and get the washcloth. Oh yeah. I look at him and he is floating too. I slip off of him and lay down on my side with my arm across his chest. The stink in this room will last for days.

"Did you come again?"

"Yeah. I didnt think I could still do that twice in a row thing. Damn I won't be able to fuck for a week."

"I hope that's not true, man. I got plans for you." He rolls towards me and I take him into my arms.He buries his head in my chest. He says something but I can't make it out. "What'd you say?"

"I said" as he picks up his head a little and says "Thank you. I needed this. I needed you. I know I'm not that good but I'm a quick learner."

"Shut up. You're a great lover. We'll learn about each other. Besides after I'm finished with you, I'll be able to rent you out by the hour." He reachs up and starts playing with my hair again.

"Man,what is it with my hair?" I slap at his hands for the second time today. He loves it. "You keep putting your hands in it. Get 'em out of there. I know where they been. I think you might have slept with me just to see if the myths are true."

He laughs "I don't know about that but you were right about "little Warrick". I've got to find another name for him because that one does not fit at all." He starts stroking my back. He kisses me with a tenderness I've never felt before. I start thinking about how he tasted. How he looked right before he came. His face under me when I said I loved him...Oh Christ I didn't say that!!! Motherfuck!! I must have flinched because he asks me what's wrong. How could I say that? How could I say I love you to him for the first time that way? It's so cheap to do it that way.I back out of his embrace and sit up.

"I'm going to clean up, I'll be right back." I jump up and go into the bathroom as fast as I can. As I shut the door I can see him still in the bed with a look of utter confusion on his face. Christ I'm going to blow this ain't I? The best thing that has ever happened to me and I'm going to fuck it up. I wash all of our cum off of me as slowly as possible. I've got to say something. Even if he didn't hear it I know I said it. I throw on a pair of shorts from the hamper and leave the bathroom.The sight that greets me is an unwelcome one. He's put on his shirt and underwear back on and he is microwaving a couple of slices.I can see the tension in his back and in the way he's gripping the counter.

"Don't you want to clean up a little first?" He turns around and I can tell he's completely shut down. Christ he thinks I'm rejecting him. Of course he does you asshole. You ran out of here like you were on fire.

In a very tight voice he says "I'm hungry and I don't eat in the nude. You were taking so long in there I didn't think you were ever coming out."

I go over to him and put my arms around him. He doesn't hug me back. Matter of fact he pushes me away.

"Why'd you run like that? Having second thoughts already? Was I that bad?"

"No no. Look I wanted to tell you...something...and I wanted it to be special. I'm trying to...." God why is this so difficult? The microwave dings and he turns to take the pizza out. The slices shift and one falls on his hand. He drops the plate and curses at the pain.

"FUCK!! Goddamn that hurts!!" He holds his hand up and looks at it. It's red and it looks like its starting to blister. Second degree burns aren't dangerous,just very painful.

"Let me see it." I lead him to the sink and put the burn under the cold water tap. It stings so he takes it from under the stream.

"Leave it there!" I go into the bathroom and get my first aid kit from under the sink. "I swear, only I could make love to a man, tell him I love him in the worst way possible and then watch him burn himself. My life is a fucking sitcom!"

I take his hand out from under the water and I start to dry it. The skin is still really red when I put the ointment on it. I look up and he is got the most stunned _expression I've ever seen.

"You love me?" His voice is so shaky it comes out in five or six syllables.

"Yes I do. I love you Nick. I have for awhile now. I just can't keep it in anymore." I see the beginnings of tears in his eyes. I drop the ointment and grab him. I'm holding on for dear life. Again he pushes me away. I let him go.

"Warrick...I..." He's looking down at the floor. He bends over to pick up the ointment.Anything to avoid looking me in the eye. His face is drained of all color. Playing back the last exchange of words, I realize he hasn't said he loves me. This is going to *hurt*.

Oh God. I've been fucking delusional through this whole thing. I really though..Ok the best offense is a good defense.

"It's OK, I understand. I can figure out the rest." I turn away from him, walk into the living room and flop on the couch. Catherine was right. I'm a just a fuck with an apartment to stay in. I feel like I'm bleeding out. He comes over and stands in front of me. He's all red in the face with his hands closed up into fists. He actually has the balls to be mad at *me*.

"You listen to me Warrick Brown. Nobody has ever said those words to me before and I've never said them to anyone either. Can you just give me a fucking minute??!!"

I look up at him.I feel like I've been hit by a truck. No matter what you don't just get up and walk away from that. "You don't have to say anything you don't mean Nick. You can stay here as long as you need too." Flag on the play. I know I just blindsided him. His jaw is clenched so tight he must be chipping teeth.

"First things first. Don't ever say that to me again or it's all over between us." He throws his hands up in the air. " Goddamn it. Is this how it's going to be with you??!! Are we always going to be in a...competition? Who will make the first move? Who will say I love you first? If that's your idea of a relationship I'm in trouble."

Huh? "Why are you in trouble?"

He smiles "Because the man I love more than anything in the world is a fucking lunatic. He tells me he loves me when he's about to cum AND he gets upset about it. THEN when he says it the right way he doesn't give me a chance to react. Maniac!!" I hear the words and finally the wheels meet the track. I get up and put my hands around his neck.

"Next time say it faster!!" I say as I pretend to choke him. He breaks my "choke hold" and runs to the kitchen.

"I changed my mind. I just want the Coronas in the frig. I don't love you at all!" I chase him down or rather he let's me catch him. We kiss until suffocation is imminent. I remove his offending shirt and I'm about to go for the shorts when it just happens. I need to say it again. It's really annoying but it can't be helped.

"Damn, I love you." I have him in my arms. I have him in my life. This is all I want. Ever. It's 4am and I'm in love with the half naked white guy in my living room. Life is grand.

"This is our idea of slow?" he said as he beamed at me.

"Yeah. We've still got a lot of shit to figure out you know." I need to know if he wants this as much as I do. He unwraps himself from me and goes to my CD collection.

"I know, I know. Nothing is going to change right now is it? Just for now, lets just be *here*. Ah ha I knew you would have this one." He goes over to the CD player and pops in something. From the first note I recognize it. He puts his arms aorund me and hums the tune softly. We're not really slow dancing just rocking in each other's arms.

"This is one of my favorites."

He says into my shoulder "I know. You hum it constantly. It says everything I've wanted to tell you. Love you."

"Love you too." He's right. The world will be there tomorrow.

THE END...FOR NOW