Title: Haunting Memories
Author: Bj Jones
Email: solokid1@yahoo.com
Rating: R
Summary: Sara's attack has lasting effects...
Disclaimer: I don't own them; they belong to CBS and various executives and producers. I'm not making any money; I'm just borrowing them for a few and will return them to the lab later.
Beta: Calypso - I really can't thank her enough
Special Warnings: Slash - if you don't like it - don't read it
Second Warning: Mention of child abuse
Spoilers: Overload

~*~

Grissom closed the front door behind him; he leaned heavily against it, the day's events running through his mind. He sighed as he pushed himself off the door and began straightening up the living room and kitchen. He turned off the lights, and made sure the drapes were closed. He headed for the back bedroom; he needed to wake Nick up to check his responses. The doctor had stated that the concussion was mild, but he was a bit worried considering Nick had a migraine before the incident.

Grissom watched the young man sleep; assuring himself that he was fine. Nick groaned and rolled onto his back. Grissom frowned. Nick muttered something under his breath, his hands pushing at an unknown assailant. Grissom eyes went wide, his heart contracted - Nick was muttering 'no' as he pushed his covers away, rolling into a fetal position protecting himself. Grissom leaned against the doorway heart pounding - why hadn't he seen it? Nick shifted once more, jerking hard waking himself up. He sat up eyes wild looking around the room sweat pouring off of him.

"Nick?" Gil walked up to the bed softly not to startle the young man.

"Gil?" Nick looked up at his lover confusion on his face.

"How's your head?" Gil sat down on the bed next to Nick.

"A dull throb," Nick leaned back against the headboard.

"Nightmare?" Gil touched Nick's redden cheek.

Nick eyes dropped to his lap, his hands pulling covers up to his waist, "Old ones."

"When did it happen?" Gil asked his voice calmer than his emotions.

Nick smiled though it didn't reach his eyes, "Always the criminalist." He paused for a few seconds, "I was nine."

Gil held his anger in check, "You never told?"

"Catherine knows," Nick took a deep breath. "Had to tell her on a case we were working."

Gil slipped his shoes off and climbed onto the bed. He sat next to Nick, touching shoulders, but not initiating any further contact. "I take it the situation with Sara brought it back."

"I felt helpless," Nick voice was soft. "I knew I couldn't lash out, protect myself with out her using it against me."

Grissom closed his eyes, silently cursing Sara's name. "What happened?"

Nick looked over at Gil, "Last minute babysitter." His eyes were filled with old painful memories - memories that surfaced because of an attack not just physically but emotionally. Gil opened his arms, a silent response to a silent request. Nick settled into his arms, slipping his arms around Gil's waist. "Lots of kids in the family, so when there are large family get togethers, there is an age restraint. My dad's cousin, I think, was getting married. All my siblings were going except me; the cut off age was eleven. Usually my sisters babysat me, if they couldn't then my cousins. Everyone was going to the wedding, so they brought in a friend of a friend." Nick paused taking a deep breath. "She had just graduated out of high school - heading off to college, a responsible girl." Gil rubbed soothing circles down Nick's back. He kissed the top of Nick's head. "I didn't like her the moment I laid eyes on her, but she had my parents fooled. The moment they were gone my night became a living hell."

"Nick?" Gil voice was soft comforting.

"I'm okay," Nick snuggled closer to Gil. "I've just never told anyone but my therapist the whole story."

"I'm here," Gil answered.

"I had sat at the window and watched everyone leave," Nick began his tale again, his voice monotone. "She grabbed me by my arm and pulled me away from the window. She said big boys don't whine when their parents leave. She never struck out at me, didn't want to leave any marks." Nick gave a sarcastic snort. "Verbally though she laid into me. I asked for a cookie she called me fat and lazy. I spilled my milk she yelled at me for being clumsy. I was reading my favorite book when she walked into my bedroom. She grabbed the book and laughed saying it was a baby book - told me that I was stupid and would never amount to be anything. I yelled and told her to leave me alone and that I was going to tell on her." Nick took a deep breath. "She smiled at me. She pushed me into the bed, and whispered in my ear that they wouldn't listen to bad little boys. She then touched me - asked me if I liked it. I cried through the whole thing, all I wanted was my mommy. She told me that if I told them about tonight she would tell everyone that I hit her, that I was bad, that I wanted the things she done, and that I touched her. I sat in my bed, tears streaming down my face just waiting for my parents to come home."

Nick wiped the tears from off his cheeks. "I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew she was gone and it was morning. When I woke up I went down stairs - I wanted to see my mom. When I got down stairs mom and dad looked unhappy. I didn't know why. I wanted to tell them, what she did and said. But, then dad scolded me for being a bad boy. She had told them I had acted up - that I was demanding and acted like a spoiled child. I wouldn't go to bed, I wouldn't listen to her - and that she finally had to punish me by sending me to my room. She told them that I yelled at her that I was going to tell them she had hit me, to get her in trouble."

"Oh God," Grissom shook with anger.

"I never said a word; I just learned to live with that night." Nick sat up his brown eyes filled with emotion.

"So your parents never knew what happened?" Gil asked as he wiped the tears off Nick's face.

"My dad found out, but we never really talked about it." Nick leaned into the caress. "I was a freshman in college. He just showed up one day at my dorm room. Needless to say I was a bit shocked to see him. He had a haunted look in his eyes; at first I thought something happened to mom or one of my siblings. But he assured me the family was okay, and just wanted to come see me - have lunch." Nick laughed a bit, "To say I was surprised would have been an understatement. It was during lunch he finally got around to telling me why he was there. A case had come before him - a woman accused of abusing and molesting children. I had sat back and watched him; it had been ten years since that night. My dad continued to give details of the case. The victims were all boys - boys she babysat. She scared them into silence, telling parents a tale of misbehavior and threats. They identified twenty boys over the past ten years. He never asked me, and I never told him. Instead he pulled me into his arms, and told me he loved me. He handed me a business card as he left." Nick smiled slightly. "It was to a renowned psychologist that dealt with adults who were abused as children."

"He never told your mother?" Gil asked.

"No," Nick shook his head. "He knew it would devastate her to find out they believed the babysitter's tale."

"Did you go to the psychologist?" Gil asked cautiously.

Nick kissed him softly, "Not very subtle. But yes, I did go."

"And?" Gil asked.

"And she would tell you that I have a problem with confrontation when it comes to woman," Nick smiled slightly. "I will walk away and just forget about the incident instead of confronting the issue at hand."

Gil pulled Nick back into his arms, "What do you want to do?"

"I want to forget," Nick stated. "But...God Gil...I didn't deserve to get slammed into a break wall. The sad thing, I knew if I defended myself and pushed back she would have me up on charges of assault - and with Kristy in my background, Eckley would be all over it."

"How's this," Gil kissed his temple. "No criminal charges but a complaint made with the department."

Nick took a deep breath, "I sat for three years in therapy getting over my issues. Yet I fall into the same pattern every time."

"I'll be there for you," Gil assured him. "No one would think less of you if you filed a complaint."

"That I got the crap beaten out of me - by a girl," Nick sarcastically replied.

"No one would see it that way," Gil pushed Nick back up to look him in the eyes. "You out weigh Sara by what fifty pounds of muscle mass? You showed restraint when you could have easily knocked her down."

"Now what?" Nick asked curling back into Gil's side.

"You go to sleep," Gil shifted. He helped Nick slip back under the covers. "I'm going to make a few phone calls."

"Make sure Catherine didn't kill her," Nick yawned, his eyes closing. A sense of relief that his secret was out, and Gil still loved him.

"I love you, Nick." Gil kissed him a slow and tender kiss. "Never doubt that."

Nick smiled, "Thank you."

"No, thank you for loving me," Gil responded.

Nick laughed as he rolled over onto his side, settling down, exhaustion taking over. "Didn't know you listened to Bon Jovi," Nick muttered as he fell asleep.

Gil looked down at the sleeping Texan, "Who?"

~Back at the Lab~

Catherine was a woman to be reckoned with it, especially if you hurt a member of her family. She had always considered Nick as a young brother, sometimes even a son. She still has restless nights over what Nick had told her about his past. She didn't know the details, but the pain in those brown eyes had nearly broken her heart. The confrontation with Sara was going to set him off; she knew nightmares were in his future. She was glad at least Grissom would be there for him this time. She had stalked out of that bathroom with all intent and purposes to find one Sara Sidle and let her have a piece of her mind. She had been stopped by one of the NCIS agents. She turned ready to lash out, but was stopped by piercing blue eyes.

"Ms. Willows?"

"Catherine," She answered back. "Agent Gibbs, if I'm not mistaken."

He nodded, "Just a small piece of advice. I don't think your lab needs another CSI in the hospital."

Catherine took a calming breath, "Nick's on my shift and under my supervision..."

"And as any good supervisor, you want to protect your team." Gibbs finished for her. "I understand, believe me I do. Think about this, if you lash out at her - she's angry enough to take her frustration out on you."

Catherine watched Agent Gibbs walk away. She sighed and went back to her office to calm down maybe talk to Grissom about the situation. She knew Nick; he wouldn't want to do anything about it, just hope for it to disappear. But she wasn't going to let Sara just get away with assaulting a co-worker. She sat down behind her desk with a heavy sigh.

"Want to talk about it?" Warrick asked as he stepped into the office.

"Just trying to calm down," Catherine leaned back in her chair.

"And not go beat the shit out of Sara?" Warrick sat down in one of the chairs.

"How's Nick?" Catherine asked avoiding the question.

"Gil took him to the doctor, and then home. I saw Agent Gibbs and his team heading out." Warrick commented, "Seems their case got seriously complicated."

"It's out of our jurisdiction?" Catherine asked.

"Someone's targeting gay marines," Warrick explained. "They've got cases in two other cities."

Catherine shook her head, "Does Grissom know?"

"He told me," Warrick nodded. "Though Sara doesn't know yet."

Catherine smirked, "You want to tell her?"

"If I get near her, I might hit her. And my grandma raised me not to ever hit a woman." Warrick's tone was very serious.

"Then I'll tell her," Catherine smiled. "Can you send her into my office?"

"You're a cold bitch when you want to be aren't you?" Warrick laughed as he got up.

"Hey," Catherine gave him a soft glare. "Watch your language."

Warrick laughed as he walked out.

~*~

"You wanted to see me?" Sara stood in the doorway.

Catherine looked at her. Sara was tense and agitated, a frown on her face. "Sit down."

"Look I have a case to work on," Sara stated as she began to turn around.

"The case is no longer our jurisdiction," Catherine informed her. "NCIS has taken complete control and the evidence and bodies are being packed and readied to be shipped to DC."

"But?" Sara stammered stepping into the office. "They were supposed to split jurisdictions."

"It ended up being a serial," Catherine explained. "Bodies found in Los Angeles and DC. All rights go up to NCIS; Agent Gibbs informed Grissom that he would keep him informed."

"Fine," Sara turned to leave.

"Sara, we are not done here." Catherine voice dropped. "Please close the door and take a seat."

"If this is about Nick, it's between me and him." Sara stood at the doorway.

"He works my shift," Catherine informed her. "So it makes it my business. Sit."

"What are you going to do? Write me up? Nick has to file a complaint." Sara shrugged.

"Sara, he has a mild concussion." Catherine looked at her. "You assaulted him."

"Well if he wasn't fucking Gil, this wouldn't be happening." Sara snapped at her.

"Who cares who he's fucking, the point is you attacked a co-worker resulting in a mild concussion." Catherine stood up from her chair.

"Then take it up with my supervisor," Sara walked out of the office.

Catherine silently yelled as she slumped back into her chair. She grabbed the ringing phone, "WHAT?"

"Bad night?" Grissom asked.

"Sorry," Catherine calmed down. "I just got through talking to Sara."

"You didn't kill her did you?" She could hear the smile in Grissom's voice.

"Tempting," Catherine sighed. "How's Nick?"

"Resting," Grissom answered. "He woke up from nightmares." He paused. "He told me."

Catherine closed her eyes, "I don't know details but..."

"It was bad," Catherine could hear the underlining anger in his tone. "If I could I would hunt the woman down."

"Do you know what happened to her?" Catherine asked.

"Jail," Grissom answered. "They caught up with her ten years later."

"I take it he didn't testify," Catherine rubbed her forehead.

"No, but his dad was the judge on the case." Grissom explained. "That's how his dad found out about that night, and how Nick ended up getting some help in dealing with it."

"I informed Sara that NCIS has taken the case back to Washington," Catherine informed him. "She wasn't happy."

Grissom growled slightly. "I'm going to talk to Eckley - bring up a formal complaint."

"Nick?" Catherine asked.

"Compromise," Grissom sighed. "He doesn't want to press charges, but knows he can't let it completely go."

"When I confronted her, she said and I quote "Take it up with my supervisor" so I am." Catherine commented. "I don't care what happens - if she's still here, she is never working with Warrick or Nick."

"I agree," Grissom answered. "I'll have to put her with Sophie. Greg won't work with her once he finds out what she did to Nick."

"Does he know about the two of you?" Catherine asked.

"Yeah," Grissom laughed. "He caught Nick kissing me goodbye."

Catherine laughed, "I can just see his expression."

Grissom laughed, "It was priceless."

"I'll talk to Greg," Catherine said. "You call Eckley."

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Grissom asked.

"I'll be here." Catherine paused. "Warrick and I meantt what we said. We are here for you and Nick."

"Thanks," Grissom answered with sincerity. "By the way who's Bon Jovi?"

Catherine laughed as she hung up the phone.

~Next Shift~

Nick sat in the evidence room, going through some papers. The doctor wanted him to take it easy for a few days, so no fieldwork. He used the opportunity to catch up on paperwork and case files. After the discussion with Grissom the night before, he agreed to file a complaint before his shift started. He'd been hold up in the small office in the back ever since, ignoring everyone, okay in truth he was hiding. He knew the whole lab had heard about the situation, which meant they all knew about his relationship with Gil. He wasn't ashamed of Gil, not one bit. But he didn't like being the center of the latest gossip.

"Stokes," Nick turned to see Eckley standing at the door.

"Can I help you Eckley?" Nick shifted his chair slightly to face the now Assistant Lab Director.

"I got your filed complaint," Eckley informed him.

Nick closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "And?"

"I just wanted to hear your side of the story." Eckley stated matter-of-factly.

Nick shrugged, "Simple really. I stepped out to get some fresh air. I had a killer headache and just needed to get out from the florescent lighting. I had leaned back against the wall, when I heard footsteps. The next minute I know I had been hit. I jerked back and my head slammed against the wall. I opened my eyes to see Sara screaming at me, we argued, she pushed me back into the wall resulting in me hitting my head a second time. Warrick pulled her off of me."

"You didn't fight back?" Eckley asked tone curious.

Nick sighed, "I was too shocked at first. But the second time she pushed me I just blocked her blows...I... I knew if I grabbed her wrists to restrain her - she would be the one filing a complaint."

"Why did she go after you?" Eckley had a feeling why but wanted to hear it from Stokes.

"She discovered my relationship with Grissom," Nick answered with a shrug.

"And this resulted in her assaulting you?" Eckley clarified.

"Just telling you what happened, and what she said. Her motivation is her own." Nick answered. "I have lots of paperwork to catch up on. Is there anything else?"

"Why no criminal charges?" Eckley asked curious to the answer. If it had been him he would have arrested her on the spot, but then again he always felt Sidle was a little too high and mighty, even worse than Grissom.

"And drag this lab through the mud. How would it sound? Co-worker attacks a fellow worker because he's in a gay relationship with a supervisor?" Nick smiled. "Gil sucks at politics but I grew up in it."

Eckley smiled slightly, "Good point. You'll make a great supervisor one day."

Nick blinked in shock, "Thanks."

"What do you want to happen?" Eckley asked.

"I don't know," Nick shrugged. "I really don't."

~*~

"Hey Greg," Sara smiled at the new CSI.

"Sara," Greg didn't look up from what he was working on, his tone was cold.

"What are you working on?" She asked leaning against the table ignoring the warning signs.

"Sara," Greg looked up at her. "Do not stand there and act like nothing has happened. Nick is one of my best friends and you attacked him without provocation. I'm sorry but I can't just act like everything is normal." Greg looked back down at the material he was sorting.

"So you knew?" Sara snapped back.

"Knew what? That he was seeing Grissom?" Greg glared at her. "I found out by accident, but it didn't change my relationship with either man."

"So it didn't bother you that Nick's been lying this whole time about his ladies man reputation." She crossed her arms in front of her.

"Sara," Greg's tone was that of speaking to a five year old. "It's called bi-sexual. No, I have no problem with it, because I'm the same way. And if you're honest about it - you don't care that Nick's into guys. You're upset because he's into Grissom and Grissom is into him."

"So you're just taking his side? No one cares about my side?" She demanded.

"So what is your side, Sidle?" Eckley asked as he walked into the room.

"I think I'll go make some coffee," Greg left the layout room in a hurry.

"What?" Sara asked innocently.

"A complaint has been filed," Eckley stated. "I'm talking with the people involved. So tell me your side of the story?"

Sara looked shocked, "I...I went to talk to Nick and when I walked up to him he startled and hit his head against the wall."

Eckley eyebrow rose, "What did you want to talk to him about?"

"The case we were working on," Sara shrugged. "I don't understand, what complaint?"

Eckley sneered at her, "Before you dig yourself any deeper I need to remind you that there are surveillance cameras outside the buildings. They have been pulled and are being looked at as we speak." Sara stayed quiet, "This isn't going to disappear like your DUI. A member of day shift is investigating the complaint and will be giving me their report. I will then take appropriate actions, considering the circumstances. But until this can be resolved, you are suspended from duty, and I suggest you stay away from Stokes." Eckley motioned for an officer, "Officer Samson will escort you out. Leave your gun and badge with the front desk." Sara eyes were wide with shock. "You're lucky he isn't pressing charges."

Nick was sitting in the break room with Warrick and Greg when they saw Sara being escorted by an officer. Nick caught Sara's eyes, refusing to look away. He knew he should feel anger and resentment for being put into this position but all he felt was pity.

Sara looked away from Nick's piercing brown eyes. What she had done finally sunk in; her career was over. She would be fired from the lab, a black mark on her record. She at least won't have criminal charges brought up against her; she knew that was Nick's doing. If Grissom had his way, she would be in a holding cell right now. She had loved the man blindly for four years - and the reality of him not loving her back slapped her in the face. She lashed out to the reason why - the man Grissom had found love with.

She watched as Grissom walked into the break room. His eyes were focused on Nick, and only Nick. She knew now nothing she could have said or done would have changed Grissom's mind. She would hand in her letter of resignation, before the complaint could be investigated. Leave Las Vegas and try to forget one Gil Grissom.