Title: Deep in the Heart of Texas
By: Rabidfan
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Things have been bad for a while now, and it's starting to take a toll.

It seemed like they'd been fighting for months. Greg didn't know how things had gotten so bad, but lately just being in the same room with Nick brought out harsh words. It made him sad, and really, really frustrated.

The trip to Texas had been planned for nearly a year. Nick's parents were celebrating their fiftieth anniversary with a week long house party, culminating in a formal dinner dance for just the closest of their friends. Last count, two hundred had RSVP'd their joyful acceptance.

So Greg found himself in the painful position of slow dancing all night to one overly romantic song after another from some by-gone era with a man that wouldn't even look him in the eyes. Each time a gentle, crooning song ended another began. Nick led, every time…like it was his right to do so. It was beginning to make Greg angry. It was a microcosm of their relationship. Nick led, and Greg was expected to follow along. Was that the key to the bitterness Greg had been feeling? He fought with Nick because he was tired of being perceived as the lesser, weaker one in their relationship? It had never bothered him before…why now?

He almost asked Nick, but looking into his face made the question die on Greg's lips. Nick's jaw was clenched so tight it was a miracle he didn't break his teeth.

Greg shifted slightly in Nick's arms. Just a shift, putting him on a more equal footing. Almost at once, Nick tried to regain control. Greg had had enough.

"Let go, I need a break." Nick stopped dancing, standing still in the middle of the room, his arms still around Greg.

"Let go?" He looked angry. What did he have to be angry about? "Let go? You make it sound like I've been holding you prisoner, Greg."

That was another thing! Greg…always just Greg. Never "G" or even the hated "Greggo". Just Greg. Short, clipped, cold.

"We've been dancing for a while. I need a drink. It's not a big deal, Nick. Just let go." He struggled to stay civil. It was a party. He liked the Stokes and would hate playing a part in ruining it for them. He just had to make it through tonight and tomorrow they'd be on the way back home. They could work out what it was that went wrong then.

"Dance!" Greg whipped his head around towards the hissed command.

"I said dance! What ever your problems are, you don't get to mess up mom's big day. So dance, damn it! And smile. Smile like you're having fun!"

It was Stacey. One of the plethora of siblings belonging to Nick. Greg was mildly proud of himself for recognizing which one she was.

"Remember, you're having a wonderful time. Break up on your own watch!" With that Stacey sailed off to berate another non-performer.

Wow. Okay. Smile. Greg supposed that meant that puking was out of the question. Too bad. He was pretty sure that would help.

They had arrived as late as possible so none of the others would notice the tension between them. They thought they'd played it off pretty well, dancing and all. But when yet another Stokes sister breezed by they heard a snippet of her conversation with her unfortunate partner.

"I knew it wouldn't last…nothing alike…barely looking at each other" And she was gone.

"Is that what we're doing?" Nick's dark eyes looked troubled. "Are we breaking up?"

"Is that what you want?" For a guy who hated evasive answers, Greg wasn't shy about dishing them out.

"Of course not!" Nick was shocked. How could he be shocked? The last two months had been almost unbearable. They barely even touched. Hadn't had sex in weeks.

"I love you, Greg. I always have…I always will. I know we've been going through a rough patch. But everyone does." They were still again on the dance floor. Other couples jockeying around them as they stood, wrapped around each other.

Bill Stokes and yet another sister, Amanda? Abby? Audrey? Something A. appeared on Greg's right. "You boys doing okay?" Getting sympathy from Nick's dad wasn't helping Greg's composure. He didn't think he could deal with much more.

"We're good dad, don't worry about us." How could Nick think they were good? "Go dance with mom, she looks like she's trying to get your attention."

"Actually, she wants to start the family pictures. You two are up for the couples shot." He looked apologetic.

"Sure, yeah. Come on Greg." Nick started off the dance floor. "Come on, Greg," he repeated, emphasizing each word when Greg stayed still.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Greg flinched at the hard look Nick shot at him.

"We can talk about this later, Greg. This isn't the time or the place." He looked, if anything, angrier than before. "Let's go."

"No."

"What do you mean, no!?" Nick's face was a sea of conflicting emotions. Rage, fear, embarrassment all battled for space. Rage was winning.

Before Nick could voice his outrage, a petite, feminine hand closed over his arm. "Please." So quietly asked. Calm, gentle. Diffusing the anger with one word. "Please." Jillian Stokes reached over and placed her free hand on Greg's chest.

"This is getting out of hand. Come away. Come away from the crowd and calm yourselves. Please."

Greg was mortified. The one thing he'd hoped to avoid had happened. They'd become a sideshow at the Stokes' party.

"Sure. Sorry." Sorry…so inadequate. Greg walked quickly towards the more private parts of the house. He could hear Nick's footfalls following closely behind. They ended up in the judge's study; Nick, Greg, Bill and Jillian.

Greg hadn't raised his eyes from the floor since the lock was turned. The room was silent, none knowing the best way to begin.

"Who's going to start?" Figures the judge would get things going.

"Look Dad, I'm sorry we made a scene at your party. Really sorry. But this is between Greg and me. We'll work it out on our own."

"Bullshit."

Wow. Greg's head snapped up at the expletive. The judge was known for his low tolerance of BS, and Nick seemed to have surpassed it.

"You are our sons. We love you. We have every right to be involved." The steel in Bill's voice left no room for dissention. "Start talking."

Greg really didn't want this conversation now. He didn't really want it at all. How could he articulate what he didn't understand himself?

"All your guests. They'll be wondering where you are." Yeah. Distraction; always your friend.

"Stacey will run the show as long as necessary. We're not leaving until you two start talking."

"He calls me Greg." The blank looks he got for that was enough evidence that Greg shouldn't have been the one to start.

"You think he stopped using endearments because he stopped caring?" Jillian was perceptive, even understanding what Greg couldn't properly give voice to.

Nick looked aghast. "Is that true? Is that what you think?" God, he could be so clueless sometimes.

"How else should I feel, Nick? You stay away from home as much as you can, you don't tell me where you're going, you don't talk to me, you don't kiss…." Greg's embarrassment at having this humiliating conversation in front of the "in-laws" was like a physical ache.

Jillian cleared her throat, masking the degree of her reaction to the agonized gush of words. "Well, now you're finally talking." She guided Bill towards the door. "Don't break any of the furniture." The duo paused before closing the door behind them. "We'll check back in thirty minutes. Don't leave this room until you can smile at each other and mean it!"

With that parting shot, Nick and Greg were alone.

After several long, silent minutes Greg tried again.

"You treat me like a kid, Nick. You never did before, what happened? You act like my babysitter, not my lover. I hate it!" The vehemence of his words made his voice shake. "I hate it!"

"You never acted this way before! Sure, you're always kind of Alpha-Male; I get that. It's kind of hot. This, this is new. You're always pissed off at me, and you act like I can't find my ass with two hands! What the fuck, Nick?" Greg was becoming more agitated with each new revelation of past pains. "What the hell did I do? Tell me! What?"

Greg's desperate plea was met with silence. Nick stared at his partner, not believing how bad things had become, that he'd allowed things to fall apart so badly.

"I almost lost you. Again." It was an effort for Nick to get that much out over the lump in his throat.

"What? How? Lost me…Nick?" Greg was shaking, teary and hopelessly confused.

"They hurt you. I couldn't stop them. You're not safe." Tears were flowing now, sliding down Nick's pale cheeks.

"Nick, what are you talking about?"

"You got beat up, Greg!" Like Greg should automatically know what the hell Nick was so worked up about. "You got blown up! I can't protect you, don't you get it?" Nick was really sobbing now, struggling for control. "I can't live without you, and I can't protect you!"

"I don't need protection, Nick. I'm a grown man, and can take care of myself." Greg was torn between his sympathy with Nick and his wounded pride.

"You don't need protection? You almost died, Greg! If you're protecting yourself, you're doing a shitty job!" How dare Greg question his right to protect him!

Greg was now as furious as Nick. "What about you? You don't have the greatest track record when it comes to personal safety, do you Nick? At least I've always managed to stay above ground!" As soon as the words left his mouth, Greg wished them back. They were result of his anger, and didn't reflect what he felt at all. But there they were, hanging between them like a sword.

"Fuck you!"

"Nick, God, I…" Words failed to convey the depth of Greg's regret. He had, with his ill-chosen words, made a bad situation so much worse. "I'm sorry I said that. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry." Greg sank down onto the sofa, burying his head in his hands.

Nick didn't immediately reply. He carefully sat next to Greg, not touching. Greg's words had stung, to be sure. But Nick was man enough to know that he himself had caused a lot of pain over the last few months. He didn't know how to break free from the spiral they found themselves in. How to go back to just Nick and just Greg…. no extra baggage causing pain. There had to be a way. He figured the best way to start would be to start talking.

"I meant it." Well, that wasn't very clear. It was however ambiguous enough to get Greg's attention. He lifted his eyes to Nick's, confused.

"Meant what?" Nick settled a little closer to Greg. Reaching over he pulled Greg's hand into his lap.

"I love you. Now. Always." The thumb tracing over the back of Greg's hand was proving to be very distracting. It had been a long time.

"When the lab exploded and you were hurt, I fell apart. I didn't know what to do. The under-sheriff came in with new rules and protocols for everyone to follow and it gave me a way to control my fear. Just enforce the protocols, and you don't get hurt again. Take no chances, and you're always safe. I could cope. Then you wanted to go into the field. I wanted, want to support that. And I do, I really do. I'm proud of you." Nick paused for a fortifying breath.

"Then you got hurt again. The problem came when I realized there were no rules to enforce. Outsiders don't follow protocols. I had no way to regain control of the situation, no way to keep you safe. So my fears just kept spiraling out of control. Every time Grissom sends you out I start to panic." The basis of Nick's anger over the last months was as much of a revelation to him as it was to Greg.

"So since you couldn't control the world, you tried to control me?"

Nick opened his mouth to deny that's what he'd been doing. Again his innate honesty made him acknowledge the truth of it.

"Yeah, yeah, I guess that's what I've done." He felt the hot flush of shame at the thought. "I really thought after the attack you would start carrying a gun. When you didn't, I guess I tried to make sure nothing bad could happen. All my efforts did was drive you away." Pulling on the hand he still held, he urged Greg closer. He wanted to hold Greg, and was trying to figure a way to do so without hopelessly mussing his fancy clothes. He settled on just leaning even closer, and claiming that beautiful mouth in a kiss.

When they broke apart for air Greg had to ask. "Will you go to therapy with me? We can't go on like nothing happened. It's all still there, Nick. Waiting to come back and hurt us again. We need to find a way to fix it for good." Nick knew he was right. His natural resistance to "therapy" would have to be put aside. Greg was too important, and he'd done enough damage.

"Yes." He didn't give Greg a chance to react before leaning in for another kiss. Deep, loving, full of all the things he should have been saying all along.

"I love you, G." Nick was surprised when Greg went still. He pulled back to look into Greg's eyes. "G?"

"Say it again." Nick was mystified, but willing.

"I love you."

"Not that part…the other part!" Greg was smiling now…a good thing.

Nick got it. "I love you, G!" Nick was smiling now as well. "I could go back to calling you 'Greggo'." Greg shuddered theatrically.

"Not if you want any more of these." With that, Greg brought their mouths together in a passionate kiss, searing in intensity.

Greg moaned into the kiss, leaning in to get closer, closer, until they were as one. The kiss heated and hands began to roam over cherished territory, long ignored. So wrapped in the glory of rediscovery, neither man heard the study door open.

"Well, I suggested smiling, but this will certainly do!"


end