Title: Gold and Honey
By: Caroline Crane
Pairing: Speed/Tyler
Rating: PG
Summary: Questions and answers.They're still doing the 'getting to know you' thing, because even though they've worked together for a couple years they never really talked before they started sleeping together. And it's still a little weird to walk into his living room and see Tim sitting on his couch, looking just a little uncomfortable, like maybe he's still trying to figure out how he got here. Tyler leans in to kiss the confusion away, pressing a cold beer into Tim's hand as he pulls back.
"Thanks," Tim says, with a shy little smile that makes Tyler want things he knows Tim's not ready to give.
He sets his own beer down on the coffee table, noticing for the first time that Tim's got a book open on his lap. It gives him an excuse to lean close again, shoulders pressing together as he peers at the book. "What have you got there?"
Tim grins self-consciously and holds up Tyler's high school yearbook. He looks almost guilty, like maybe he thinks Tyler will mind him looking. Then again, he'd probably mind if he caught Tyler going through his yearbook. That is if he was the type of guy to have a yearbook.
"God, I haven't looked at that thing in forever," Tyler says, pulling it out of Tim's hand and flipping through the pages. "I didn't even know it was out here."
This time Tim leans in close, peering over Tyler's shoulder when he stops at his senior picture. "Cute."
Tyler laughs and looks up long enough to catch Tim's grin. "Come on, everybody looks like a dork in their yearbook picture. Besides, that was the height of fashion then."
He flips the pages until he reaches the club section, finding the Drama Club picture nestled amongst messy notes scrawled in faded ballpoint, things like 'see you on Broadway' and 'break a leg' that make him laugh when he remembers how serious they all were about being famous back then. "Talk about dorky."
Tim smiles again when Tyler lifts the book so he can see. "You look really happy."
"I guess I was," Tyler answers, forgetting his bad hair and the faces of his old friends long enough to look over his shoulder at Tim. "Don't tell me -- you were one of those guys who hated high school."
For just a second Tim's expression clouds, and Tyler's seen that look often enough to know that he should back off. He doesn't know what it is that haunts Tim, but he's starting to piece together enough to know that something happened when he was a kid. He doesn't talk about it, though, and sometimes Tyler wonders if they'll ever get to the point where he has the right to ask.
"It was okay," Tim finally answers, and when he shrugs his expression clears again. "I spent most of my time studying."
And that Tyler can believe, because Tim's one of the smartest people he's ever met. He makes being a genius look effortless, and Tyler knows that's part of the reason he makes dealing with people look so hard. Sometimes he wonders if there's more to Tim's lack of social skills than just being smart -- there are a lot of things that could have happened to him to make him this way, and they see enough misery on the job that it doesn't take much to make Tyler imagine the worst.
Most of the time he's not even sure he wants to know the truth.
He flips the pages again until he reaches the athletes, searching the faces of the football team until he finds the person he's looking for. "First crush," he says, pointing at a dark-haired kid with too-broad shoulders.
"A football player?"
"So I was a cliché," Tyler answers, grinning at Tim's low chuckle. "He wasn't an asshole about it, at least."
"He knew?"
Tyler shrugs and glances down at the picture again, picturing dark eyes and an intense expression. He can still feel metal lockers against his back if he tries hard enough. "Subtlety was never really my strong point. I guess he noticed me following him around. One day after school he stopped me and pushed me up against some lockers, and I thought for sure he was going to kill me. But he just told me I had to quit following him around or people were going to start talking."
"So you stalked your first crush." Tim sounds incredulous, or maybe just amused. It's never that easy to tell with him, but Tyler's starting to learn the difference.
"I don't think it really counted as stalking. Anyway, I quit following him around after that."
Tim moves a little closer, his chest pressed against Tyler's shoulder and Tyler can't help leaning back into solid warmth. "So I take it he wasn't your first kiss."
"No," Tyler says, grinning at that memory. He flips back to the beginning of the book, leafing through pages until he finds the picture he's looking for. "That was Mary Ellen Kincaid."
"A girl?" Tim reaches around him to pull the book closer, squinting at the picture of a young, happy girl with blonde hair and braces before he looks at Tyler again. "Your first kiss was with a girl."
"Yeah, sure. We were in drama together. I knew she liked me, so I let her corner me in the prop room during rehearsal. I guess I figured I should try it at least once, make sure I was gay, you know?"
Tim still looks surprised, but he's smiling that smile Tyler knows most of the people they work with have never even seen, and it makes his stomach do all sorts of gravity-defying things. "Did it work?"
"Unfortunately for Mary Ellen, yes," Tyler answers, glancing down at the picture again before he turns the page. "Didn't you ever kiss a girl in high school, just to see what it was like?"
"No." Tyler doesn't look up, but he can hear in Tim's voice that they're getting too close to that subject he doesn't talk about again. "So who's the first person you slept with?"
He lets Tim change the subject, although part of him wants to push for the truth just to see what would happen. "He's not in here. That didn't happen until college."
"Seriously?"
Tyler's cheeks start to flush at the surprise in Tim's voice, but there's no way he's going to start blushing over something that he has no reason to be embarrassed about. "It's not like White Bear Lake was a hotbed of action for anybody," he says, telling himself he doesn't sound as defensive as he suddenly feels.
"So you didn't have a boyfriend until college?"
"I didn't say that," Tyler answers, thankful for the excuse to turn his attention back to the yearbook still in his hands. He flips through the senior section until he finds what he's looking for, holding it up so Tim can see. "We dated for awhile, if you can call making out in his parents' basement 'dating'. I think he was a little freaked out about the whole 'making out with a guy' thing."
The memory doesn't sting at all anymore, but Tim's arm slides around his waist and Tyler's pretty sure it's supposed to be some weird form of comfort. He's not about to pass up any chance to touch Tim, though, so he doesn't bother to point out that it was a long time ago and there have been plenty of other guys in his life since then. In fact, Tim's the closest he's gotten to dating somebody who's still in the closet since he got to college, and he's not sure how he feels about that.
He closes the yearbook and drops it on the coffee table, turning on the couch until they're face to face. Tim's hand is resting on his hip now, thumb moving in unconscious little circles that make Tyler's temperature creep up a few degrees. Tim's other hand is still clutching his beer, beads of condensation dripping down the outside of the half-empty bottle. When Tyler leans in and kisses him again he tastes bitter and Tim, and he can't help smiling at the fact that he knows what Tim tastes like.
"So how come you guys never...?" Tim asks when he pulls away again, gesturing between them like he's scared to say the words, even after everything they've done together so far.
"What, had sex?"
Tim rolls his eyes when he realizes Tyler's making fun of him, setting his beer down on the coffee table before he slides his other arm around Tyler's waist. "It's just weird, thinking about you and some teenager."
"I was a teenager too," Tyler reminds him. "But we never got that far. Not that I wasn't willing, but we didn't last very long before he freaked out and started avoiding me. It wasn't exactly the great romance of my life."
"Romance is overrated anyway." Tim smiles and leans in for another kiss, and Tyler's glad for something to do with his mouth, because it stops him from pointing out all the things Tim's done in the past month that would count to any casual observer as romantic. He makes Tyler dinner and then breakfast, he comes to his door to pick Tyler up and he always asks what Tyler wants to watch when they're just hanging out staring at the TV after a long shift. He knows how Tyler likes his coffee and he shaves twice a day just to save Tyler from another bout with razor burn.
And maybe Tim doesn't think any of that stuff is romantic, but Tyler's always been a pretty romantic guy, and he knows it when he sees it. It makes him wonder who taught Tim to be so conscientious. It makes him wonder who Tim's first time was, who was the first person to kiss him and if that was the great romance of Tim's life. Maybe someday he'll even work up the courage to ask, but for now...for now Tim's here with him, and it's enough.
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