Title: I Messed Up
By: wojo62
Paring: Gil & Greg
Rated: R
Spoiler: Chasing The Bus
Summary: Greg blames himself for the bus driver's death after freezing up at the crime scene.
Disclaimer: I don't own, wish I did.
Beta'd by martian-kitty

A tour bus crash with numerous deaths and injuries brought every available CSI and cadets in training to the crime scene. Greg, eager to help and excited about his first trip to the field showed up as well. He had no training or experience and knew he should not have been there but that small fact did not stop him from wanting to help. To be where the action was. He went to the first familiar face he recognized; Nick Stokes.

"Whoa, what are you doing here, Greg?" Nick asked, making him feel like he didn't belong, like Nick obviously did not want him there. Grissom allowed him to stay as long as he was hands off.

"He does no collection." Gil said to Nick before he walked away.

Nick reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a notepad and pen. He gave it to Greg. He was given the un-glorified task of taking Nick's notes. It was better than being sent away, at least he could be of some help. It was a lot colder that he expected, and he wished he had worn a heavier jacket, for some reason being around a seasoned CSI like Nick made him feel inadequate. He followed after him like a lost puppy.

His inexperience left him feeling vulnerable and scared, this was not what he expected. He soon learned the harsh reality of the situation and he froze, unable to react.

"Greg!!" Nick yelled. "Get some help!" But he just stood there, the fear gripped him.

Later Nick tried his best to reassure him, told him not to worry about it. He told him about his first time out and how horrible it was, but Greg still blamed himself. If only he would have reacted quicker, or at all, maybe the driver would still be alive. He felt sick and wished he had never stepped foot on the crime scene, what was he thinking? Greg dragged himself back to the lab, (along with a bag of evidence) back where he felt he belonged.

Back at the lab, Greg continued to do his job. He could not shake his guilt though, and when he saw Gil coming he did not hesitate to meet him in the hallway and give him the results he had discovered. Maybe he thought it would somehow make up for his mistake, even though he knew nothing could make up for causing a man's death. He tried to hide the sadness in his eyes as Grissom read over the results. He was surprised when his boss asked him if he enjoyed working in the field.

"I messed up." Greg said sadly.

Even though Gil knew the details of what occurred at the scene, thanks to Nick, he told Greg otherwise. He knew Greg felt bad for freezing up and he had no intention of making him feel any worse, he hated to see the despair in his young lovers eyes, he wanted to pull Greg to him and whisper comforting words into his ear but this was not the place to give him comfort. That would have to wait until later.

Greg returned to his lab and Gil walked away. He found himself in the evidence room, where Sara was sorting tire treads. She looked up and smiled, like she always did when he came into a room. Her crush on him was obvious. Under normal circumstances he would simply ignore her flirting, and would never take advantage of her love for him and her willingness to please. Today was different, today he would do anything to help Greg feel better. He had an idea.

"Sara, did you hear about Greg's incident in the field this morning?" He asked her.

"Yeah, Nick told me," Sara answered. "he said he tried to tell him not to worry about it but he didn't think he got through to him."

"He didn't. Greg's feeling pretty bad, so I was wondering if you could do me a favor." Gil said, knowing she would jump at the chance to please him.

"Sure Grissom, what can I do?" Sara asked with a wide smile.

"Talk to Greg, give him some encouraging words. He needs that right now." Gil requested.

"Sure, I'd be happy to." Sara agreed. "Anything else?"

"No, that's it. Thanks Sara." Gil said and turned and left the room.

Sara's comforting words did little to relieve the guilt that still gnawed at Greg's gut. By the end of shift it was all he could to to hold it together and not burst into tears. He dashed out to his car. He fumbled with his keys and was about to open his car door, when he felt a familiar warm hand on his shoulder. He turned to face his older lover.

"Greg," Gil began. "are you coming to the townhouse?" Gil caressed Greg's arm as he spoke. He felt Greg trembling beneath his touch and knew he was on the verge of tears.

"I thought I should just go home, be alone for awhile." Greg said in a shaky voice.

"Nonsense, you shouldn't be alone." Gil insisted. "Besides I think we need to talk."

"Yes, Sir." Greg replied. He was sure what they'd be talking about. How disappointed Gil was with his actions, or lack thereof. He'd be reminded that his place was in the lab, not the field. He got into his Jetta and followed Gil home.

Once in the townhouse Greg plopped himself down onto the couch, completely drained. Gil offered him something to drink or eat but he shook his head. He had no appetite, he still felt a little queasy. Gil sat next to him on the couch and reached over and put his hand on Greg's thigh in a comforting fashion. Greg looked over at him, knowing what was coming next. He spoke first.

"So you do know what happened out there?" Greg asked, already knowing the answer.

"Word gets around Greg." Gil answered. "Nothing happens in my lab that I don't know about."

"So, everyone knows what a loser I am." Greg's eyes filled with tears.

"You are not a loser Greg." Gil tried to reassure him.

"But, that bus driver is dead because of me!" Greg could no longer stop the tears from flowing, he began to sob.

Gil gathered him into his arms, stroking his back and his hair. He felt so bad for Greg, he knew Greg felt bad for freezing up but he had no idea Greg blamed himself for another man's death. If he knew he would have talked to him sooner, he needed to make him understand this was not his fault.

"No, Greg." Gil whispered. "Its not your fault."

"But, I froze up, If I wouldn't have..." Gil cut him off.

"I talked with Doc Robbins, the man had massive internal injuries. He would have died regardless, you are not to blame. If anyone is to blame its the EMT's for not getting him to the hospital right away."

"Honest?" Greg asked through his tears, hoping it were true but still not sure.

"I would never lie to you." Gil promised, pulling away so he was facing Greg.

"I felt so guilty." Greg cried, gripping onto Gil's shirt.

"I know, but you have no need to feel that way." Gil comforted him.

"I'm so relieved." Greg said calming down.

"Lets get some sleep." Gil suggested. "It's been a long night."

Gil stood up and took Greg by the hand and led him into the bedroom, then he proceeded to undress, down to his briefs. He sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Greg too removed his clothing, except for his boxers. The sight of Greg's young supple body never failed to arouse him, and this time was no exception.

"Come here Greg." Gil said as he reached out to him.

Greg stepped forward and stopped in front of him. Gil looked up into Greg's eyes, he loved those eyes. He reached up and pulled Greg to him for a passionate kiss, a kiss that left them breathless. He pulled away and released Greg, who stood back up, just staring down at Gil with love in his eyes. Gil traced his fingers along the waistband of Greg's boxers.

"How bout I take your mind off of what happened today." Gil suggested, his voice deeper. "I think you need a little stress relief."

Before he could answer Gil pulled Greg's boxers down and Greg stepped out of them. His young lover stood naked before him, and God how he wanted to touch and taste him, make him feel good. He took Greg's still soft penis in his hand, slowly stroked it with his thumb. Greg grew hard with his touch, and a low moan escaped his lips.

"That's much better." Gil whispered as his lust for Greg intensified. He eyed Greg's erection with admiration, was still in awe that someone so young and sexy as Greg wanted to be with him. He leaned in and took Greg's cock into his mouth, enjoying the taste as he began to move up and down on Greg.

"Oh Gil." Greg moaned, he threw his head back and rested his hands on Gil's shoulders.

He moved over Greg's hardness, running his tongue along the underside like he knew Greg loved. He enjoyed pleasuring Greg, making him feel good. He loved the sounds he made to express his good feelings, loved how he clutched at his shoulders.

"Mmm...God Gil...yes, yes! Like that...oh yeah." Greg groaned with delight.

He sucked Greg harder, hollowing his cheeks as he went along. God, how he savored the taste of Greg's cock, breathed in the smell of his arousal. His own cock grew harder as he pleasured Greg. He reach down inside his own briefs and stroked himself, as he continued his ravishing of Greg's manhood. Greg growled low in his throat, and slowly thrust into Gil's mouth. He gripped his shoulders hard as his increasing pleasure swept through his body, and his body trembled.

"Oh yeah, oh fuck! Gil...please...so good...oh Jesus." Greg was getting close, as was Gil.

Gil hummed with pleasure as he fisted himself, sending even more incredible feelings through the younger man. From his shallow breathing, his quicker thrusts, and his continuous groans, Gil knew Greg was close.

"Ahhh God...Gil...I'm gonna...fucking cum!!" Greg dug his nails into Gil's shoulder and nearly screamed as his body shuddered. His release hit hard, spilling his seed into Gil's mouth. Gil swallowed eagerly, he felt his own impending orgasm approaching.

Gil grunted loudly as he too came hard into his own hand, and onto the floor. He fell backwards onto the bed, and pulled Greg on top of him. He held Greg to him as they both waited to catch their breath, and relax. When their breathing returned to normal and they had come down from their orgasms. Greg gave Gil a sweet and loving kiss.

"Thank you." Greg said with a smile. "You always know how to make me feel better."

"My pleasure Greg." Gil smiled back. Now I think we better get some sleep, my boy." Gil kissed the top of Greg's head.

They repositioned themselves on the bed until they were safely tucked under the covers, Greg's head resting on Gil's chest. They held each other close, comforted by the warmth of their bodies. Before they went to sleep there was one more thing Gil needed to say.

"You know Greg, if you enjoyed being in the field, I have no problem with allowing you to gain more experience. As an observer for now, until your ready for more." Gil said, stroking Greg's hair.

"Really?" Greg asked surprised. "You'd let me go out again?"

"Of course, if that's what you want." Gil answered, always eager to make Greg happy.

"Thank you, for having faith in me." Greg said, playing with the hair on Gil's chest.

"I've always had faith in you." Gil said, kissing his forehead.

"I love you." Greg said as he snuggled closer.

"And I love you too Greg." Gil said yawning. "Now go to sleep."

"Okay." Greg said yawning too. Sleep overtook him and Gil soon joined him in slumber.

The End