Title: Trust Issues
By: Fran Holland
Pairing: Gil/Nick

Nick stood in his bathroom, the sticky wetness of Gil's semen was running down the back of his thighs and he could not have been happier. Or more satisfied. As he leaned over to start the shower, his thoughts went back three months.

***

Nick and Gil had gone out for dinner on one of their very rare nights off together. It was Gil's turn to pick the restaurant and he had chosen the new fusion place inside the Mirage Hotel and Casino. Gil had picked him up and had even rested his hand on Nick's thigh as they rode down the busy strip. It was something the Gil did not do, no public displays of affection. Nick did not consider the SUV public, but Gil had rules.

They were seated by the host and were looking over their menus when their waitress arrived. She was a very attractive blond and apparently she found Nick attractive as well. She flirted outrageously with him and he turned on his Texan charm. Nick noticed that Gil had gotten quieter as the evening wore on, but he just figured it was because he was tired.

As they got up to leave, the waitress pushed her phone number into Nick's hand. "I'd love to see you again."

Nick blushed and gave her a boyish grin. "Thanks." He shoved the number in his pocket. After Nick had buckled his seatbelt, he leaned back in his seat.

"What did you think? I thought the food was good, a little pricey for my tastes, but really good."

"It was fine." Gil's voice was a bit cold. Nick turned in his seat.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Fine." Gil said bluntly. Nick had known Gil long enough to know that he would only talk about stuff when he was ready. He sat back in his seat and the remainder of the trip was tensely silent.

Gil pulled up at Nick's house and instead of turning off the ignition, he said, "I'm going home, Nick."

Nick was speechless. It was their night off together. They had only slept together twice before and he knew that both were looking forward to tonight.

"Gil, will you tell me what I did wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong, Nick." Gil refused to look at him. The silence stretched and finally Nick got out and slammed the door.

When he got inside, he changed out of the dress slacks and shirt and pulled on one of his old pair of sweats. Before he put the clothes in the laundry, he cleaned out the pockets. Wallet and change went on the dresser, the slip of paper with the waitress's phone number when into the wastebasket next to the bed.

He flipped channels until he found a movie on that he had been wanting to see. After the movie went off, he played a video game and after that, he surfed the Internet. Finally, as the sun rose, he went to bed, still replaying the evening in his head.

When he woke at 4:30, he showered and ate a sandwich. He sat down and answered his email, called his mom and then, he took a deep breath and called Gil.

"Grissom."

"Hey."

"I'm kind of busy right now, Nick."

"Oh. I guess I'll see you tonight then."

"Yeah." Nick heard the dial tone.

Shift started out heavy, with the entire team scattered all over the city, but as the night went on, things slowed down.

Nick found Gil in his office and knocked on the door frame. "Can I come in?"

Gil have a nod, then went back to his paperwork.

Nick shut the door behind him. "I think I deserve an explanation."

"Nick, I'm not getting into this at work."

"You didn't want to get into this last night either." Nick said hotly.

They were interrupted by Gil's phone. Gil looked at the door pointedly and Nick walked out, slamming it behind him.

***

Nick was waiting in front of Gil's townhouse when Gil arrived. Gil avoided eye contact.

"We aren't at work now."

Gil unlocked his door and Nick followed him in. "Nick, I don't think we should get involved anymore than we already are. This whole thing has the potential to end badly and I can't...I won't..." Gil couldn't find the words.

"What brought this on?" Nick said angrily.

"Nick, please just go."

"Hell no. Not until you tell me what's going on." Nick stepped closer to Gil until they were toe to toe. "What was all this, was I just someone to get your rocks off with?"

"Nick..." Gil sounded weary.

"Tell me." Nick leaned in and softly said, "Tell me you didn't enjoy being in my bed. Tell me that and I'll leave."

"Nicky..." Gil tried to back up a step, but Nick's hands brought him in for a brutal kiss. As Gil responded, the anger lessened and passion took over. They were panting and tearing at each other's clothing by the time they got up to Gil's bedroom. Nick grabbed the lubricant out of the nightstand and began preparing himself as Gil tore open the condom package. The sex was quick and rough and left both men gasping for air.

For a few weeks, things were the same between them again. The ate breakfast together, slept together some days, took in a movie at the classic movie house.

Gil had given out assignments earlier that evening and Nick found himself paired with his lover. He really enjoyed working scenes with Gil. As Nick was taking the hundreds of photographs of the scene that were needed, Gil collected all the other evidence. They were packing up to go back to the lab when a voice called out, "Nick, Nick."

Nick turned and grinned down at the petite redhead. "Anna, hey. What are you doing around here?"

"I work here. Weird, huh? Steve was an asshole, but who would want to kill him."

"We may need to interview you, Anna."

"Anything for you, Honey." The redhead smiled seductively and said, "Let me just give you my cell number." She dug around in her purse and came up with a pen and a small notepad. She quickly wrote down her number and gave it to Nick.

Gil slammed the driver's door and Nick had barely closed his door, when Gil screeched out off down the street.

"Whoa, where's the fire." Nick said, frantically trying to get his seatbelt on.

Gil did not speak. The silence lengthened.

"Hey, what's wrong with you?" Nick asked.

"Nothing is wrong with me." Gil's voice had taken on that cold quality that Nick only had heard once before.

He sat back and his mind raced. The only other time Gil had talked to him that way was the night they had gone to dinner. So, what was the common denominator? Nick racked his brain and later on, in the locker room, it hit him. Both times, he had been given phone numbers by women. Gil was jealous, that's the only thing it could be.

Nick waited by Gil's car in the parking lot after the shift was over. When Gil saw him standing there, his steps slowed. He really did not want a confrontation, especially not in the parking lot of the crime lab.

"Nick, I'm going to get in my car and go home now. I'm not in the mood to talk right now."

"Fine, you don't have to talk. You just need to listen." Nick said through clinched teeth, trying to keep his voice down to a dull roar.

"First of all, when I get phone numbers from people, I don't usually pay any attention and they usually wind up in the trash. You have no reason to be jealous."

"Jealous?" Gil stared the younger man down. "I'm not jealous. I've never indicated that I wanted an exclusive relationship with you. You can go fuck anyone you want too. That's what condoms are for."

Nick looked like he had been slapped. Gil regretted the words as soon as he had said them. It was too late to call them back. Nick turned abruptly on his heel and stormed off.

Gil thought about calling after him. Apologizing. Begging his forgiveness. But pride wouldn't let him and he got into his car and drove home.

Nick drove out to the desert. He had held back the tears until he had pulled off the road. He sat in his hot truck for hours, just staring off into the desert. Thinking. Wondering why Gil couldn't love him.

Work that night was painful for both men. Gil wanted to take the younger man in his arms and tell him he was sorry. Nick avoided Gil whenever possible, while trying and succeeding to act normally in front of the rest of the team.

Gil knew he had trust issues. He wanted to trust Nick. Really, he did, but Nick was younger, Nick was a very nice looking man, Nick was charming, Nick had people falling all over themselves to be around him. Hell, even the lab rats loved Nick. He sang to them, he went out dancing with them, all he had to do was smile at them and they rushed to get Nick's evidence processed. It would only be a matter of time before Nick found someone else.

Later that afternoon, Nick was awakened by his doorbell. He groaned and looked over at his alarm clock. 4:35. He rolled out of bed and pulled on the jeans he had taken off that morning.

He didn't even bother looking out the security hole, since it was broad daylight. But when the opened the door, he wished he had. At least to give himself a second to prepare himself.

Gil stood outside. He was wearing casual clothes, jeans and a t-shirt.

"What do you want?" Nick sounded so dejected that it almost broke Gil's heart.

"I need to talk to you."

"I think you said everything you needed to say. I got the point." Nick made to shut the door, but Gil stopped it with his hand.

"Nick, I'm sorry I said those things. Trust is a big issue with me. It's hard for me..."

"You don't trust me, that's it. You really think I'd fuck around on you. You don't know me at all." Nick pushed Gil's hand down and slammed the door.

Gil stood there for several minutes. Finally, he spoke to the door, "I love you, Nick Stokes." He slowly turned and got back in his car and drove home.

As the days turned into weeks, Gil lost weight and became even more withdrawn then usual. Nick threw himself into his job. His intensity began to grate on everyone's nerves.

"If you'd do your job instead of worrying which fucking CD to listen to next, maybe you'd have my results by now." Nick roared at Greg.

"Fuck you, Nick." Greg stomped off. Catherine, who had overheard the altercation, grabbed Nick's arm.

"Conference room, now."

Nick reluctantly followed Catherine, knowing he was getting ready to get a dressing down by one of his best friends and he knew he deserved it.

Catherine shut the door with an audible click. She turned on him with both barrels. "I don't know what your fucking problem is Nick, but you better leave it at home. I get one more complaint and I'll see to it that Grissom puts you on suspension. Got it?"

"Yeah, I got it." Nick said, sounding surly even to his ears.

"That's it. I've had it with your attitude. I'm going to Grissom." She turned and slammed the door so hard the glass rattled in its frame.

Nick sat down and put his head in his hands.

***

Nick expected to get called into Grissom's office that night, but it never happened. He had gone in to apologize to Greg after the shift was over and he wasn't in his lab. He made a promise to himself to call him later.

Greg was waiting by Nick's truck. "Greg, look man, I want to apologize. I've been a bit stressed out lately. I'm really sorry."

"It's okay. But you and Grissom better make up soon, or this entire lab will suffer."

Greg's words shocked Nick so badly that he had to lean against his truck for support.

"Greg, I don't know what you're talking...."

"Save it. Don't worry, I think I'm the only one who figured it out. I saw you two out once. Your body language said it all. Geez, I got hot watching the two of you staring into each other's eyes. Seriously though, Gil's a basket case. Everyone has noticed the weight loss, the bags under his eyes, and he's having lots of migraines."

"I didn't know about the headaches." Nick said softly. "But Greg, this was his choice. He doesn't trust me. He thinks I'd fuck around. I love him."

Nick turned his back to Greg, so the other man wouldn't see the raw emotion in his eyes.

"Nick, if you love him, you've got to do something to make him trust you."

"You can't make someone trust you."

"Sure you can, you just have to use your head." Greg rested a hand on Nick's back briefly. "Just think about it."

***

Nick did just that. All that day, all that evening. He was supposed to work that night, Gil was off.

At 6:30, he was parking in front of Gil's place. He took a deep breath and walked up to the door. One more deep breath and he knocked.

Gil opened the door and stepped back in surprise. "Nick?"

"Get dressed, we're going out to dinner."

"Nick, this isn't a good idea."

"Get dressed, you've got ten minutes." Nick said forcefully. Gil took one look at the set of Nick's jaw and realized he wasn't going to win this one.

"Come in." Gil said, as he turned and headed up the stairs. Nick came in and closed the door. Fifteen minutes later, Gil came downstairs freshly showered and dressed pretty much the way Nick was, in khaki slacks and a polo shirt.

Neither spoke as they got into Nick's truck and pulled out onto the street. The silence lengthened and it wasn't until they pulled up in front of the Mirage that Gil spoke.

"I thought this place was too expensive?"

"It is, but I think you might be worth it." Nick said with a trace of sarcasm.

The same host as before seated them. A tall, brunette took their drink order, opening eyeing Nick. The blond waitress, from their last visit, spotted them and came over to their table.

"Hey, Handsome. You never called me." She gave Nick and attractive pout. Nick reached over and held Gil's hand.

"I really don't think my boyfriend would appreciate it. But thanks just the same." He smiled sweetly up at the blond. She laughed softly.

"Why are all the good ones gay?"

Nick laughed with her. "Not all of them. Someone as beautiful as you shouldn't have a problem."

She smiled sweetly at Nick and then turned to Gil. "I hope you know how lucky you are, Sweetheart." She turned and walked back to her tables.

Gil was stunned. Nick had always seemed ashamed of being bi, and he was never open about it to anyone. Yet, Gil couldn't mistake the conversation he had just heard. He looked down at Nick's hand still covering his. He looked back up at Nick.

Nick leaned in close and whispered. "Gil, I love you. I want you to know that I'm yours and no one else's. I called my parents this morning and told them that I was in love with someone and I told them who."

"Nicky. I don't know what to say."

Nick grinned. "Well, they were kinda speechless too."

"Are you okay. Were they...how did they take it?"

Nick laughed. "Mom said she had known for a long time how I felt about you. Dad was worried about the age difference until mom pointed out that he was ten years older than her."

"They weren't mad?"

"My parents love me, Gil. They want me to be happy. You make me happy, well most of the time anyway. I've got to tell you though, when you get jealous, it really pisses me off. You really don't want me to have to tell my parents that you're being mean to me. My mom can get pretty riled up."

Gil chuckled.

"Gil, can we go back to my place? I've got two and a half hours before I have to go in, and I'd really like to have some make up sex."

Gil stood so fast, he almost knocked his chair over. Nick laughed at him, "Eager, huh?"

Nick was still laughing when they got into his truck. "You can stop anytime now, Nicholas."

"Nicholas? Whoa, mom calls me that when she's mad at me."

"Keep laughing and I'll call her and tell her that you're being mean to me."

Nick grinned at Gil as he through the truck in reverse. Gil's hand roamed up and down Nick's thigh as he drove them to Nick's place. Nick was very distracted, but managed to get them home without wrapping his truck around a telephone pole.

Nick couldn't get his door unlocked fast enough. The minute it closed behind them, they fell into each other's arms. Clothing was left in a long trail from the front door to Nick's bed. Both completely naked and panting, they fell on the bed together. They kissed and touched each other like it was their first time. Gil wanted the foreplay to last longer, but Nick was impatient because of the time constraints.

"Please, Gil, I need you to fuck me. Please." Nick spread his legs at the same time he reached into his nightstand for the lubricant and condoms.

Gil took the lubricant and poured it into his hand. His mouth was on Nick's cock as he worked first one finger and then two into his lover.

"Now. Please." Nick was practically begging, as he reached down and ripped open the foil packet.

Gil took the offered condom and looked down at Nick's flushed face. He threw the condom across the room. Nick's brown eyes locked on his.

"You're sure?" Nick whispered.

"As sure as I've ever been about anything." And he plunged into Nick's tight body.

Nick stood in his bathroom later, the sticky wetness of Gil's semen was running down the back of his thighs and he could not have been happier. Or more satisfied. He leaned over to start the shower.

In the bedroom, Gil heard the shower start and stretch. Perhaps, he should join Nick. But if he did, he knew that Nick would be later for work than he already was. After all, he was Nick's supervisor and tardiness would not be tolerated.

He smiled as he rolled off the bed and headed into the bathroom. Nick didn't hear the shower curtain open because he was shampooing his hair. Once he rinsed the suds out, he opened his eyes and groaned.

Gil laughed and stepped into the hot spray. His mouth came down on Nick's. Nick broke the kiss after a moment.

"Gil, we can't do this, I'm late enough as it is."

"I think your supervisor would understand."

Nick stared at him, "Okay, who are you and want have you done with Gil Grissom?"

Gil grinned happily. "Gil Grissom has fallen head over heels in love."

Nick finally got to work three hours late. Catherine was not amused at the concocted story he came up with. But Greg spoke up.

"It's true Catherine, Nick called me from his cell phone. He actually did get stuck in his bathroom. Something must be wrong with his lock or something. I called a friend to go over there and he jimmied the door so Nick could get out. Could we make something like that up?"

Catherine looked from one innocent face to the other. "You better get that lock fixed."

After Catherine left, Nick thanked Greg for saving his butt.

"I just hope you got laid." Greg teased.

Nick blushed.

"Well, I guess that means that Grissom will be in a good mood tomorrow." Greg said as he gave Nick a high five.

THE END