Title: The Joys of Cell Phones
By: Read300300
Rating: PG
Response to Telephone Challenge
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Disclaimer: I asked Santa, but he said no.
Summary: Nick is on his cell phone in a store, and we all learn the horrors of making assumptions. ;-) 600 words.

Oh my god... if that isn't the most gorgeous man I've ever seen, then God has every right to strike me down where I stand! And of course, he has chosen today of all days to be shopping here, when I look like complete crap! I mean, my hair is falling out of place everywhere and I didn't even put on make-up this morning! Plus, there's that whole not flirting with the customers rule... ahhh, but he may just be cute enough for me to break that itsy-bitsy little thing. Certainly wouldn't be the first time.

"No, baby, I love you more," he speaks jovially into his cell phone.

Damn! He's attached!

And he's got this cute little Southern accent going on to match his clean cut look! How the hell did he wind up here in Salt Lake City? He sounds like he's not from around here, at least not by a long shot.

"Yes, yes, I'll be at the hotel room in a few minutes; I just needed to pick up some stuff first, okay? Uh-huh.... No, my first presentation at the conference isn't until noon, but you have to be there for that lecture at ten; and before you start on it, yes it isn't fair, but you're a lab rat and that means Gris gets to pick your lectures for you... Yes, I know he signed you up for nearly all the bug lectures." He glances down at his watch before pushing his basket a little further up the aisle and plucking something off of one of the shelves, two bottles of spread-able chocolate sauce to be exact. "Just be glad he put us in the same hotel room this time!"

So yes, I am shamelessly ogling his chest and just about every other part of him I can see, but he's hot! What other girl in my position wouldn't stare at the gorgeous man and his dark brown hair? Mmmm... that hair! Too bad he's taken by whatever girl has caught his fancy or else I'd probably hit on him this minute.

"Uh-huh... Yeah, babe, sure. I can get that for you... What size do you wear? Ummm... I've always thought you were a large," he kind of winces, and I know that he just guessed wrong, way wrong....

No, no, no, you always say a small no matter what your girl looks like!

"An extra-large? Wow, that's... I guess I just....Well, I mean, I wear a large and...You are not bigger than me!"

Awww... he looks so confused! And how sweet, he's buying clothes for his girlfriend, and okay, so maybe he lacks tact, but he's at least trying to be really nice about it. I mean, he's telling his girl an obviously blatant lie to make her feel better... That's just so sweet!

"All right, I'll get you the extra-large, if you say so, baby... Yeah, I'll see you when I get back to the hotel room. Alright, I love you... I know. I'll see you in a few. Bye," He hangs up the phone and then looks in my direction before walking over to where I'm standing.

Great, now he sees me and I look a mess and he already has a girl and...

"Excuse me, ma'am, but do you know where I can find some extra-large condoms?" He asks with a look of exasperation, one that I immediately pin back to the conversation he just ended.

In shock, all I can do is blink and point towards aisle three.

Huh, who would have figured the hot guy to be a fruitcake?