Title: Learning to Live
Author: Bj Jones
Rating: FRM
Disclaimer: I think we all know I don't own them and the reasons why. They are owned by various executives, producers, writers and studios that have more lawyers than I want to mess with. I'm not making any money just borrowing them for a bit and promise to return them.
Summary: Kate and Speed's new assignment help two individuals come together so they can start to heal.
Beta: Lynn (Janet)
Series: Set in my Kate/Speed Angel series. Comes after 'Angels' but before 'Divine Intervention'
Warning: Slash – hello really – maybe I should warn if it isn't slash
Author's Note: I got a few more in this series… I actually got an idea while writing this one up – The next story is the New York one… then; well it gets a bit more interesting.

~ Vegas ~
 
"So what’s our assignment?" Kate asked as they walked down the busy Vegas street.  "You know it’s weird walking and no one noticing you."
 
"It's Vegas - they wouldn't notice you even if you were alive." Speed smirked. "We’ve got a stubborn supervisor and a young man in pain."
 
"I heard some of the other angels talking; this Stokes fellow has a flock of them from what they said." the NCIS agent commented.
 
"Two full time Guardians isn't a flock, a flock is the four around Horatio." The young man smirked. "And he needs it."
 
"You miss him?" Kate asked seriously.
 
Speed paused, a sad smile on his face. "Every day."
 
She laid a hand on his arm. "Who do you want to talk to?"
 
The Angel turned and looked at his partner. "Which would you prefer? The stubborn supervisor who will think he's doing the right thing by staying out of his life..... or the skittish Texan?"
 
"Supervisor..." Kate grinned. "Reminds me of someone I know."
 
"Figured as much." Speed shook his head. "You know what to do."
 
"I'm still not used to this." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, disappearing from the Strip and landing in a living room a few miles away. Looking around, her eyebrow rose. "Sparse, worse than Gibbs - at least he had a boat." 
 
Kate wandered around the sterile condo.  The walls were white and they were lined with bookshelves filled with a variety of books.  Obviously this Grissom was very much a reader and loner.  She moved into the office and stopped short. "Speed, you are so dead...."
 
"Already dead, remember?"
 
Kate jumped and turned around. "Don't do that!"
 
"Sorry, but I figured you should know that Gil Grissom is an entomologist..." He looked into the room. "Never mind."
 
"You could have told me that before I walked into this office. There're bugs on the wall." Kate pointed at the cases of bugs.
 
"And a tarantula on the desk." Speed pointed out.
 
Kate cringed. "At least it’s not snakes."
 
"Are you going to be all right?" He asked as he moved back towards the living room. "Dealing with Tony is one thing..."
 
"I'll be fine," The ex secret service agent nodded.
 
"This has to be done quickly. We have a case pending in New York that’s very serious." Speed paused at the bookshelf. "Kate I think just found our focal point."
 
She looked at the shelves. "Photography books?"
 
"Nick loves photography...takes pictures up by Lake Meade." Speed pointed out the photos resting against the books. "These are his..."
 
"How did Grissom get them?" She reached out to pick it up and her hand went through the bookshelves. "Damn, forgot about that."
 
"We have to consciously make ourselves solid." The CSI reminded her.  "He either swiped them or somehow got duplicates made."
 
"But if Nick were to see these?" Kate thought about it.  "I’ve got an idea..."
 
"Should I be worried?"
 
She glared at him. "How bad is Nick?"
 
"Won't come out of his home." Speed sighed.
 
"Okay, here’s the plan; you help him with his fears." Kate moved towards the office. "I'll get Mr. Reclusive here to take Nick out to Lake Meade to take photos...and then hopefully nature will take its course."
 
Speed just looked at her. "You think that will work."
 
"We're on a schedule; you said New York is serious."  She looked back into the office. "I think we’ve just got to get his mind set on the right path, he’ll do the rest."
 
~*~
 
Grissom sighed as he entered his condo, work had been difficult.  They were still short staffed and everyone was still skittish.  Eckley wanted to talk about new policies, Catherine wanted to talk about Nick, Sara wanted to talk about how short life is, and to top it off, Nick was still out.  Not that he blamed him; Nick had gone through an ordeal Gil couldn't even imagine, but well, truthfully, he missed him.  He never realized how much having Nick around brightened his day.  He didn't think Nick realized how many lives he touched each day. The lab was quiet; it was as if a part of them was missing.
 
He set down his briefcase, slipped off his shoes and padded into the kitchen. Fixing some hot tea, he picked up the crossword puzzle and snuggled into his favorite chair.  He set his mug down, glanced up at the bookshelves that held a collection of Nick's photos then froze: they were gone.
 
He stood up and quickly moved to the bookcase.  He looked through the books, around the floor, ended up searching the entire living room.  He was about to panic when he found them lying on his desk.  He picked them up, not remembering when he moved them.  They were very precious to him, the only personal thing he had of Nick. 
 
The younger man hadn’t liked the way they turned out and had tossed them into the trash.  Gil nabbed them and took them home.  He had been impressed by the quality and emotion in the simple photos.  Nick captured the desert with such clarity, showing its beauty and its danger.
 
He walked back into the living room and stopped in his tracks.  There was a young woman standing in the middle of it, smiling at him.
 
"Who are you?" Gil demanded.
 
"No one really important," Kate said. "I'm here to help you.”
 
"Help me?" Grissom asked a bit curious.
 
She pointed to the photographs. "They're beautiful."

"Yes, they are." The CSI agreed looking down at the pictures in his hand. 
 
"Much like the one who took them." Kate watched as Gil's head snapped up.
 
"You know Nicky?" His voice turned cold. "How? Who are you? If you..."
 
Kate raised her hands up defensively. "I have no intention of hurting Nick; I'm here to talk some sense into you."
 
"Me?" Gil sat down in his chair.
 
"Yes, you." She sat down on the table and looked at him. "He needs you right now.  He needs to feel protected and loved."
 
"I can't do that... I'm set in my ways...I'm too old..." Grissom looked away from the young woman.
 
"All just empty excuses." Kate sighed. "Look, my supervisor was much like you. Older, set in his ways, hell the man had a boat in his basement, but he opened up and let someone love him.  The two of them are very happy now - well they’d better be or I'll go smack them."
 
Gil smiled lightly, he liked her. "You’re just suggesting I go over there and what?"
 
"Take him out to Lake Meade, get him to live again." She pointed at the pictures. "Show him the beauty of the world."
 
"How do you know he wants me in his life?" Gil asked.
 
"Ask yourself this; who did he reach for when the coffin door opened?"
 
Grissom looked down at the photographs in his hands, and then back up. "What do you..." He looked around his living room. "Where did she go?"
 
He took off his glasses and rubbed his tired eyes, did he just imagine the whole thing? He slipped the glasses back on and looked at the photos.
 
He grabbed his car keys and left the house. He had an idea.
 
~ Nick’s House ~
 
Nick stood by the window and watched the outside world go by.  He felt like such a coward, locked in his own home scared of stepping outside.  He snorted - he had put himself back into the box.  He was wondering if Warrick was right, he did attract psychos from a ten mile radius. First Crane, now this.  Nick ran a hand through his hair and sighed.  He turned around and jumped back.
 
"I didn't mean to startle you." Speed smiled at him.
 
"How the hell did you get in my house?!" Nick backed against the wall.
 
The Angel mentally smacked himself, 'Yeah good idea Speed, surprise a man who's been stalked and watched in his own house, and then later kidnapped – think he might have some slight trust issues?' "I'll just be upfront and honest with you."
 
The CSI eyed him. "Well that would be a first."
 
"I'm an Angel."
 
"Okay..." Nick just stared at him not believing a word he said.
 
"Timothy Speedle..."
 
The Texan frowned and moved away from the wall. "Wait, Warrick mentioned something about a Speedle..."
 
"I was killed a year ago in the line of duty." Speed choked on the words. 'Yeah Speed keep telling yourself that - you were careless...'
 
"What the hell are you doing in my living room?" Nick asked curiously and still in shock.
 
It truly amazed the angel how much trust Nick still had.  "I’m here to help."
 
"Help?" Nick rolled his eyes. "Little late don't you think?"

"You didn't need us," Speed smiled. "You had your team."
 
The CSI looked over at the angel. "I did, didn't I?"
 
"But now you just need a small push." The angel explained. "Life does go on."
 
"I'm tired of being the victim." Nick said sitting down.  "Do you think I just put out vibes?"
 
The brunette sat on the coffee table across from him. "You're a truly open, honest person.  You see the good in people, and unfortunately that attracts the bad guys.  They see an easy mark, not realizing you’re stronger and more capable of handling anything they do to you, because of that openness you have."
 
"I don't think I can bounce back this time." The Texan leaned back in his chair. "I'm tired."
 
"You don't have to do this alone." Speed laid a hand on his knee.
 
Nick looked at him. "If you're an angel..."
 
"I have to consciously want to reach out and touch..." Speed paused. "Go ahead touch me."
 
The curious nature in Nick moved him forward as he reached out and touched the dark haired angel.  He was shocked to see his hand go right through him. "Okay...I guess this isn't some elaborate con... or I've actually lost it."
 
"You’re not crazy." Speed smiled.
 
"So why are you here again?"  Nick smirked.
 
"Stall long enough for my partner to set our plans into motion."
 
"Do you know how evil that sounds?" The CSI eyed him.
 
"You want the honest truth?" Speed asked standing up.  "Life is too fucking short, and you should know that.  Don't let those bastards take away the joy of being alive.  Find that one thing that will help you heal and make you happy then hold onto it and never let go."
 
Nick looked into pained brown eyes. "Thank you."

Speed nodded and disappeared, leaving Nick to think about what the angel had to say.  He could feel the pain in his voice; he wondered what he had lost.  The knock on the door startled him.  He looked over at the clock; it was past anyone who was night shift’s bedtime.
 
"Grissom?" Nick asked in shock.
 
"You busy?" Gil asked with a small smile.
 
The Texan looked back at his spotless house. "No..."
 
"Good, grab your camera, we're going out." The older man smiled at him reassuringly.
 
Nick heard the angel's voice in his ear, 'find that one thing'. He grabbed his camera and a baseball cap and followed Gil out the door and into his life.
 
~ Lake Meade ~
 
Nick snapped a few shots of the terrain, and was able to get some good pictures of the local birds.  Gil had thought of everything.  He had packed a picnic lunch, brought bug repellant and a book on the local bug species, and an anti-venom kit.
 
So far Nick hadn't froze or freaked out, but that was mainly due to the fact Gil was only a few feet from him at all times.  The Texan turned and snapped a few shots of a relaxed Gil, something not many got to see.  Grissom looked up and shook his head as Nick snapped a few more pictures. "You can't find anything a little more pleasing to the eye out here in the desert?"
 
Nick looked up from his camera. "You're the most beautiful thing out here."
 
The older man paused. "Nicky..."
 
"Say it again," Nick's voice dropped.
 
Gil walked up to the younger man; he slipped a hand into the short locks. "Nicky, my Nicky."  He pulled Nick into a soft kiss, just a gentle touch of lips.
 
The Texan looked into blue eyes and smiled. "I'm not letting go."
 
"I won't let you go." Gil pulled him back into another kiss.  Nick slipped his arms around the older man's waist and held him close opening up and deepening the kiss.  The two spent the rest of the day just relaxing in each others arms.
 
~ A Few Weeks Later ~
 
"Gil, I think we should invite Warrick and his new wife...." Nick paused as he entered the house.  Gil was staring at a magazine, his face showing an all too rare expression of shock. "Gil?"
 
He looked up and blinked, "Did I ever tell you why I came over that day?"
 
"No..." Nick paused.  "Gil I'm going to ask a weird question..."
 
Grissom paused, "Nicky?" 
 
Hearing that still made him feel warm inside, Gil only called him Nicky when they were at home. "Were you visited by an Angel?"
 
"At first I thought it was my own conscience talking..." Gil held up the magazine.
 
Nick read the title. "In Memoriam - Special Agent Caitlin Todd - NCIS" 
 
"This was her..." Gil said. "She sat in this living room and told me to stop hiding..."
 
Nick walked over to the forensics magazines and pulled one out.  He had searched it out soon after they had gotten back from Lake Meade; he had wanted to know for sure.  He handed it to Gil.
 
Gil frowned. "CSI Timothy Speedle - Miami-Dade Police Department was killed in the line of duty..." He looked up at Nick.
 
"He told me to find what makes me happy and hold on to it." Nick gave him a sad smile.
 
"I remember this." Gil sat down. "Catherine received a call from his supervisor, Horatio Caine.  She said there was so much pain in his voice...I knew what he was feeling, it would be as if I had lost you."
 
It all made sense to him now, Tim had never and would never get the chance.  The chance Nick received and took.  "Then we honor their memories by living to the fullest."

Gil pulled Nick to him, "I love you."
 
"I love you, too." The Texan kissed him deeply. 
 
~ The End ~