Title: Look Where You Least Expect To Find It
By: Tiffany F
Pairing: Hortaio/Mac
Rating: AO
Warnings: OOC
Series: part of the Look Where You Least Expect To Find It series
Summary: Horatio goes to New York tracking a killer and find much more than he was expecting. I don't own anything you recognize and am only playing.

“So where are you staying?” Mac asked as he walked out of the lab with Horatio.

           

“A hotel not far from here,” Horatio replied, slipping on his sunglasses. “Are we going to get an early start tomorrow, Mac?”

           

“Hell, if I didn’t have to worry about overtime, we’d be staying all night,” Mac said, grinning. “You want a drink?”

           

“Sure.”

                                                ********************

           

“You have a nice home, Mac,” Horatio said, looking around the apartment. “Much nicer than I was able to afford when I lived here.”

           

“I thought you looked familiar,” Mac commented, handing Horatio a bottle. “I think you left just as I joined up. Do you ever wish you’d stayed?”

           

Horatio shook his head. “No. Miami has been more a home to me than New York ever was,” he said. “I look after her and she takes care of me. I won’t lie and say it’s easy though.”

           

“Losing someone never is,” Mac sighed. He sank down onto his sofa. “But it’s part of life when you carry a badge.”

           

“But you lost someone closer to you,” Horatio said. He sat down next to the dark haired CSI. “Someone who wasn’t on the force.”

           

Mac snorted. “Are you psychic or did you just look me up before you came to my crime scene?”

           

“I’ve always been able to read people,” Horatio sighed. “It’s one of the burdens I have to carry.”

           

“Bet it comes in handy when you’re interrogating a suspect,” Mac said. “My wife was in the towers on 9-11. I still miss her.”

           

“And you always will,” Horatio said. “But alcohol isn’t the answer.”

           

“Hard work is,” Mac said. “I know you have the hotel room but you’re welcome to the couch and we can get going around five, before the others get to the lab.”

           

“Now that sounds like a good idea.”

                                                ********************

           

Mac stood in the darkness and watched Horatio Caine sleep. He wasn’t sure what was going on but from the moment the red haired detective had walked onto his crime scene that morning he’d felt a pull towards him. Mac knew what happened to gay cops and reminded himself that this was the first time he’d looked at another man, at least while seriously considering sleeping with him. It was also the first time since his wife was killed that he’d felt anything for anyone. He knew she’d want him to move on, find someone else and be happy, but it was hard. Mac had never thought when they said good-bye that morning it would be for the last time.

           

The street lights glistened softly on Horatio’s red hair and Mac wondered if it was as soft as it looked. The man had an aura about him, there was no question about it and Mac wondered if he had a girlfriend.

           

“I’m not asleep,” Horatio said softly, making Mac jump.

           

“I’m sorry,” Mac said. “I don’t know why…”

           

Horatio sat up and leaned back against the arm of the sofa, looking sleep tousled and far too sexy in Mac’s mind. “I do,” he said softly. “Because I felt it too.”

           

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mac said, trying to deny his feelings.

           

“Mac, you can go back to bed right now and we’ll pretend none of this ever happened,” Horatio said. “But if you want to go forward, then I’m more than willing.”

           

“Do you know what you’re talking about?” Mac asked. “We just met this morning.”

           

“Yes I do and I won’t regret it,” Horatio replied. “It’s your choice, Mac.”

           

“And if I make the wrong one?”

           

“Either choice is right, Mac; it just depends on what you want,” Horatio said.

           

“I want you,” Mac said, moving closer to the sofa. “I’ve just never looked at another guy before, let alone considered sleeping with one.”

           

Horatio smiled and pulled Mac down so the other man was straddling his hips. “Then we’ll just have to go slow,” he whispered, pulling Mac’s head down for a gentle kiss. Horatio let his lips move slowly over Mac’s, not rushing, just letting the other man feel the gentle caress. It was Mac who moaned and opened his mouth in an invitation to deepen the kiss; one Horatio took willingly, running his tongue over Mac’s. He ran his hands down Mac’s back, around his waist and back up his stomach, under his t-shirt, to tease his nipples. Mac broke the kiss, his back arched, and he moaned deeply, his hands tangling in Horatio’s hair.

           

The red-head grinned and pushed Mac’s shirt off and moved in before the other man could protest. Mac bit back a cry; he hadn’t known his nipples were so sensitive and the feel of Horatio’s mouth on them was almost enough to make him climax right there on the sofa like a teenager.

           

“If you want to go further,” Horatio whispered his breath ghosting over Mac’s neck, “then I would suggest we move to your bed. There’s more space to move and I can take you flying.”

           

“Oh, god,” Mac moaned, diving in for another kiss. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d felt so turned on, been so hard. He wanted more from Horatio and he wanted it now.

           

“Do you have some lube?” Horatio asked as Mac pulled him to his feet.

           

Mac froze. “I’m not even sure I have condoms,” he said. “I haven’t slept with anyone since my wife died.”

           

“What about cooking oil or hand lotion?” Horatio pulled his wallet from his pants lying over a chair arm. “I’m prepared enough to get us through tonight, but if I’m here any longer and you want to continue we’ll have to stop at the drug store.”

           

“There’s oil in by the stove,” Mac said, a little stunned. “Um, Horatio.”

           

“My friends call me H,” he whispered, kissing his new lover. “And I would love to feel you inside me. We won’t do anything you’re not ready for.”

           

“Thank you,” Mac said. He ran his hands over Horatio’s bare chest. “I’ll grab the oil; bedroom’s the last door.”

           

Horatio pulled Mac to him and claimed his mouth in a passionate kiss. “I’ll be waiting,” he said.

           

Mac stood for a moment and watched Horatio as he walked down the hall, his ass outlined by his boxers and shook his head with a bemused grin. In less than half an hour he’d gone from not even considering sex with a man to getting the supplies they needed and walking to his bedroom. He didn’t know what the morning would bring but at that moment, he didn’t really care. Mac froze in the doorway at the sight of Horatio stretched out on his bed, the covers pulled back and out of the way. “Wow.”

           

“Come join me?” Horatio asked, holding out his hand.

           

“Somehow I think I’d be a fool to say no,” Mac replied. “But I have to ask, do you have anyone back home in Miami?”

           

“No,” Horatio said. “In trying to protect my younger brother’s widow I screwed up the only chance I could ever have with her. There’s no one who caught my eye until I saw you today.” He pulled Mac in and kissed him gently. “I know a number of ways we can do this; me on my back or on my side, or even hands and knees. It’s all down to what you want, Mac.”

           

“I want to be able to see your eyes,” Mac said. “And I’m a fast study so I expect you to return the favor before we go to work in the morning.”

           

“I can do that,” Horatio smiled. “So first, these have to go.” He slipped his hands under the waistband of Mac’s sleep pants and pushed them down, being careful not to snag his lover’s erection and slid down to pull the pants off. “And then I get to taste you.” Horatio’s smile turned slightly evil and his tongue slipped out to lick the head of Mac’s cock. He lapped at it gently for a moment before taking the head into his mouth and sucking gently.

           

Mac’s head fell back against the pillows, his hands once again tangling in Horatio’s red hair. It was as soft as it had looked and slid through his fingers as he petted his lover. Horatio’s moans vibrated along Mac’s length and were enough to push him over the edge. “That was, wow,” Mac panted, pulling Horatio up for a kiss.

           

“Now the real fun begins,” Horatio purred, feathering kisses along Mac’s jaw. “And you’ll be in control long enough to enjoy it.”

           

“I think you’re overestimating my recuperative powers,” Mac said dryly.

           

“Am I?” Horatio leaned down and licked Mac’s left nipple several times before taking it in his mouth and sucking gently. He ran his right hand up Mac’s side slowly and then down again to capture Mac’s slowly thickening erection.

           

“Are you trying to kill me?” Mac groaned.

           

“Nope, I’m trying to seduce you,” Horatio replied. “How am I doing so far?”

           

“I have to say in all honesty that I’ve never felt anything like this in my life and if you don’t hurry up I may have to shoot you.”

           

Horatio laughed. “All right, then watch,” he said, reaching for the oil. He poured some over his hand and reached back to prepare himself. “You need to go slow and make sure your partner is ready for the next finger or you can hurt them,” Horatio said, almost lecturing. “Use lots of lube and always watch your partner’s face and body; they’ll tell you more about how he’s feeling than the actual words will.”

           

“Trust in the evidence,” Mac snorted.

           

“It’s not just for the lab anymore,” Horatio said. He rolled over onto his back and spread his legs. “Ready?”

           

Mac opened the condom and rolled it on. “Nervous as hell, but yeah,” he said.

           

“Push forward with a steady, firm pressure,” Horatio said. “I’ll be fine.”

           

“Done this recently?”

           

“Not with a partner,” Horatio smirked, wrapping his legs up around Mac’s waist. “Oh yeah, you feel so good.”

           

“Broken record time; wow,” Mac moaned, his head thrown back. “I don’t know how long I’m going to last.”

           

“Move when you’re ready,” Horatio whispered, pulling Mac down for a kiss.

           

Mac pulled back and thrust forward sharply, setting a hard rhythm. He was lost in the feel of his partner and didn’t notice Horatio’s moving hips until his lover cried out, head dropping back against the pillows. “H?”

           

“Just keep moving.” Horatio reached between their bodies and took his cock in his own hand, stroking in time with Mac’s thrusts. “I’m so close.” He arched his back and came with a cry pulling Mac, who wasn’t expecting the tight contractions, with him.

           

“I’m going to say it again,” Mac smirked, “wow.”

           

Horatio laughed and pulled Mac in for a kiss. “Yeah. Get some sleep; you’re going to need it.”

                                                ********************

           

Mac looked back and saw Horatio standing by the police cars, his suspect already in the back of one. Horatio smiled and lifted his hand in a small wave. Mac turned to try and delay the media but when he turned back his lover was gone. He stood and watched as the cars drove away; feeling like his heart was going to break. Mac barely heard what Stella said as he followed her back into the lab.

           

He sank down at his desk, wondering if he’d been stupid to think that Horatio would stay. It was obvious the man belonged in Miami and Mac was upset that he hadn’t had a chance to say good-bye. With a sigh he picked up the folder and stared at the white envelope that had been hidden on his desk. His heart actually skipped as he opened it and pulled out the note.

           

**Mac, I’m sorry I have to leave like this but I have a funeral to attend with a sixteen-year-old and want to be able to give her the answers she needs. I don’t want what happened between us to be a one time thing. If you want the same, you have my cell number. Love, Horatio**

           

He felt the weight that had been on his shoulders since the patrol cars drove away with his red-haired lover lift and he reached for his phone. They had a lot to talk about; starting with finding a good frequent flyer program.

 

Horatio made sure his house was locked up and checked his phone for what had to be the 500th time since he’d turned it on at the airport. He kept it close as he stripped to his boxers; made sure a clean suit was laid out in case of a call and crawled into his empty bed. Maybe he had made a mistake leaving like he had and ruined any chance at the relationship he wanted more than anything. A soft voice kept nagging at him, saying Mac had caught a case after he left and simply hadn’t found the note and it might be days before he heard anything. But deep down he believed he’d screwed up again, much as he had when trying to protect Yelina; only this time it hurt so much more because Mac had literally stolen his heart.
 
Everyone at the lab had wanted to know the details of the case and he’d told them the basics and only Speed seemed suspicious. But Speed and Danny had worked together over the phone and could have talked about other stuff while still working the case. Plus Speed just seemed to read Horatio well.
 
He jumped when his phone rang. “Horatio.”
 
“My bed is cold without you.”
 
The doubt and fear evaporated. “You found my note.”
 
“And had just picked up the phone to call you when we got a double homicide,” Mac said. “I would have called sooner but it was a mess and I just got home.”
 
“I understand,” Horatio said. “I was just worried.”
 
“About what?” Mac asked.
 
“That I screwed up again,” Horatio said softly. “I’m sorry I left like I did but another minute and I was going to kiss you.”
 
Mac laughed. “Probably not a good idea around all those reporters and cops,” he said. “So, if you’re serious I did some checking and found a frequent flier program that has really good rates. I’m thinking even on our cop salaries we could see each other at least twice a month.”
 
“Have I mentioned I love you?”
 
“Several times but I love hearing you say it,” Mac replied. “I love you too and I can probably get away in two weeks if everything stays like it's been. How about I come see you?”
 
“I’d like that,” Horatio said. “I’ll start working on the schedule tomorrow. Now, I think you mentioned being cold; how about I help you warm up, what are you wearing?”
 
“Just my boxers,” Mac said. “But I’m under a lot of blankets. I think I’m just missing a certain red haired someone curled up around me.”
 
“Hmmm, my bed seems empty too,” Horatio said, letting his voice deepen a little. “You’re a CSI, use your imagination. I’m there in bed with you under all those blankets kissing your neck gently. I love your neck, Mac, and you taste so good. I could just lie there and kiss and lick it for hours.”
 
“Horatio,” Mac moaned softly.
 
“My lips are trailing down your chest,” Horatio continued, running a hand down his own bare chest. “I remember how sensitive your nipples are, Mac; are they hard just waiting for me to suck them?”
 
“Yes.”
 
“Touch yourself, Mac,” Horatio whispered. “Take your free hand and wet your forefinger and thumb. Then slowly circle your right nipple; imagine my hands and mouth tormenting you. Now pinch and roll it for me.” He grinned at the choked moan over the phone. “Are you getting hard for me, Mac? Is your cock leaking and pushing against your boxers, begging for my mouth?”
 
“Oh yeah,” Mac said. His breathing was broken but he wasn’t panting yet.
 
Horatio quickly slipped off his own boxers and started to caress his cock. “Push them off, Mac,” he said. “I need you to be naked in your bed for me. Now stroke yourself, Mac; it’s my hand on you, stroking slowly up and down teasing you, drawing it out. I love how you look right now, face flushed, eyes shut, silently begging for more. I wish I could be next to you, sliding a finger into your ass to get you ready for me. Remember how good it felt once I was in you? You were so good around me, so hot and tight and I can’t wait until I can touch you again. I can’t wait to drive you crazy.”
 
“H,” Mac moaned, his climax obvious even over the phone and just the sound of it was enough to push Horatio over the edge as well.
 
“Damn,” Mac groaned once his breathing had evened out. “That was hot.”
 
“Did I manage to warm you up?”
 
“Oh yeah and I think I’ll be able to sleep now,” Mac replied. “So, talk to you tomorrow around the same time?”
 
“I’ll give you a call,” Horatio said. “Goodnight, Mac; love you.”
 
“I love you too, Horatio. Night.”
 
Horatio put the phone on the bedside table and used his boxers to clean up a little. He fell asleep with a smile on his face, glad now that he had taken the chance and already counting time until he’d be able to hear Mac’s somewhat dry voice again.

“Hey guys, where’s Horatio?” Calleigh asked as she stepped into the crime scene.
 
“He took the weekend off,” Speed replied, carefully photographing the victim and the knife on the ground next to him. “Which means you’re in charge unless there’s an emergency.”
 
“Really,” Calleigh said. “This is the first I’ve heard about it but I did come from home. I’ll have to call him later.”
 
“Nope.”
 
“What do you mean, nope?”
 
Speed glanced at her. “He’s on a 911 page only.”
 
“Well that’s unusual,” she said. “Okay then, let’s get to work.”
 
“You’re the only one just standing around,” Eric commented from the other side of the room.
 
“He really took the whole weekend off?” Calleigh asked.
 
“Yes Calleigh, Horatio Caine really took three days off,” Speed replied. “Now are you going to be able to focus on the case or not?”
 
“Oh, of course I am but aren’t you the least bit curious about what’s going on?”
 
“No,” Speed said. “Hey Alexx, what do you think this stuff on his chest is?”
 
Calleigh made her way carefully over to the desk where Eric was working. “How about you?”
 
“Do I want to know why H is gone; yeah, I guess,” he replied quietly.
 
“Well then we should find out,” Calleigh said.
 
“I don’t know, Cal; if H wanted us to know then he would’ve told us,” Eric said. “I don’t really want to pry into his personal life.”
 
Speed rolled his eyes, took his camera and went to check the exterior of the scene. Once he was sure he was alone he pulled out his cell phone. “Hey, it’s me. I know you said to leave you alone unless it was an emergency but I wanted to warn you that Calleigh and Eric are plotting to find out where you are and what you’re doing,” Speed said, knowing his boss and friend would check his voice mail at least once a day. “I’ll do my best to head them off but be careful. I don’t know what their reactions would be. I’ll call Danny and have him leave a similar message for Mac. Call me if you need anything at all and I’ll see you Monday.”
********************
 
Horatio moaned, his back arching as his lover pounded into him, their two weeks apart making them both frantic to touch and reconnect. “Touch me,” he panted. “I’m so close.”
 
“No, I want you to come just from this,” Mac Taylor replied. “Just from my cock and nothing else.”
 
“Evil,” Horatio gasped and climaxed. Mac tried to ride through the contractions around him but the sensations were too much and he came with a groan and collapsed on his lover.
 
“That was hot,” Horatio whispered. He wrapped his arms around Mac and kissed the side of his sweaty face. “I’ve missed you.”
 
“I’ve missed you too,” Mac replied. “It almost surprised me how much, considering.”
 
“You mean how I walked onto your crime scene and ten hours later we were in bed?” Horatio asked. “It’s almost enough to make me believe in love at first sight, Mac.”
 
“There’s no evidence to support that happens.”
 
“No and we could both be crazy,” Horatio agreed, pulling his lover up for another kiss. “I think I heard bells a bit ago. Can you reach my phone because as good as you are, I don’t think it was the mind-numbing sex.”
 
“I’ll just have to try harder then,” Mac dead panned as he stretched for the phone on the bedside table. Neither man wanted to lose the connection between them just yet.
 
“I told them not to call unless it was a matter of life or death,” Horatio said, turning on the speaker phone. “For one of them at any rate.”
 
Mac snorted and kissed down to Horatio’s neck. He grinned when he found a hot spot under his lover’s left ear. “Something for me to play with.” He started sucking on the spot, adding teeth and tongue as he felt Horatio hardening against him. “I think I like this spot, H,” Mac whispered, sucking hard enough to leave a bruise. “Got any more of them?”
 
“I don’t know,” Horatio replied, rolling his hips to bring Mac back to full hardness. “You’ll just have to explore and find out.”
 
“I like being in you,” Mac said. “I could just stay here for hours.”
 
“You have,” Horatio commented, pushing up against his lover. “And I’m looking forward to returning the favor.” He ran his hands along Mac’s back and around to his nipples, pinching them, knowing the sensations would cause Mac to move.”
 
“H,” Mac moaned. His hips thrust forward, burying his erection deeper in his lover’s body. “You know what that does to me.”
 
“My secret weapon,” Horatio whispered, pulling Mac down for a deep kiss. “Move, please.”
********************
 
“I got sent to voice mail and left the message,” Danny Messer said. “Do you think there’s any real danger?”
 
“I don’t think danger is the right word,” Speed replied. “I just don’t want anything to blow up. There’s a real creep in IAB down here that has it in for Horatio and while I don’t think these guys would say anything…”
 
“You don’t need the risk,” Danny finished. “Why are these guys so interested anyway?”
 
Speed snorted. “H has never taken one day off, let alone three, while they’ve been here,” he said. “He should have realized it’d be enough to get them going.”
 
“Maybe he trusts you to keep ‘em in line,” Danny said. “It’s just about as unusual for Mac to be gone but he used a good cover story so no one’s asking questions; yet.”
 
“And there’s the key word,” Speed said. “If we found out you know our co-workers can.”
 
“I think both Mac and Horatio learned their lesson about phone sex in their offices,” Danny said, laughing. “I have to say I’ve never seen Mac that color before. Horatio is good for him and I’ll do whatever I can to help them out.”
 
“Same here, although the chances of us walking in on the same day were wild,” Speed laughed. “Seriously though, they can’t hide forever, not if they’re each gone once a month. It’s going to come out and…I’ll call you back.” He clicked his phone shut. “What’s up, Eric?”
 
“You know something,” Eric said.
 
“I know lots of stuff,” Speed replied. “Sometimes I think it’s a hell of a lot more than you.” He started back towards the lab.”
 
“No, you know something about Horatio.”
 
“Again, more than you but its called friendship and a real friend will guard you and your secrets.” Speed sighed and paused for a moment. “I’m only going to say this once and I want you to listen to me. Drop it and leave H alone because you’ll only hurt him in the long run. He doesn’t need any more of that.”
 
Eric frowned. “More of what?” he asked, puzzled.
 
“Pain,” Speed said firmly.
********************
 
“I really don’t know about this, Cal,” Eric said softly as they walked along the dark beach. “Speed was really serious about us leaving this alone so we don’t hurt Horatio.”
 
“We’re not going to hurt anyone,” Calleigh replied. “We’re just checking on a friend to make sure everything is all right.” She paused and squinted into the darkness. “There he is and there’s someone with him.”
 
“Yelina?” Eric asked.
 
“I can’t tell, let’s get closer and see what we can overhear.”
 
Horatio was sitting on the sand in the shadows, Mac between his legs, pressed back against his chest and wrapped in his arms. They were both looking at the dark ocean. “Have I mentioned how happy I am that you’re here?” Horatio asked quietly.
 
“A few times,” Mac replied smiling. He leaned back and kissed Horatio gently. “I never thought I’d be grateful to a killer but we’d never have met if not for that case.”
 
“It’d probably look weird to send him a thank you card on death row,” Horatio commented dryly.
 
“Yeah; too bad we can’t let him know some good came from all his evil deeds,” Mac laughed. “Seriously, H; I’ve been in love once before and I’m feeling it here too. Maybe we are the evidence for love at first sight.”
 
Horatio nuzzled Mac’s neck. “If wanting to stay with you the rest of my life is love then I feel it too,” he said softly. “Are we crazy, Mac?”
 
“For loving each other so freely,” Horatio said so softly that his hidden CSIs almost couldn’t hear him. “Not to sound like I’m quoting bad songs but the moment I saw you in that crime scene I was lost. I hid my feelings until we were in your apartment but I realized that I’d rather spend the one night in your arms than the rest of my life with anyone else.”
 
“There are those who will say we moved too fast,” Mac said, kissing Horatio’s knuckles before settling back against his lover. “And then the usual crap because we’re both men but its our lives, H, and we’re both adults. And somehow I think Claire is happy for me and approves.”
 
“I’m sorry, Mac,” Horatio said.
 
“For what?”
 
“Being so insecure,” Horatio sighed. “Maybe the problems with my family affected me more than I realized.”
 
Mac turned his head so he could meet Horatio’s blue eyes. “Yelina made an assumption that ripped your heart out,” he said. “You love your family and chose to protect her memories of her husband at the expense of your own happiness. But I’m glad she did because now I’ve got you and I’m not letting you go. She’ll eventually realize what a treasure she lost.”
 
“I should introduce you to Suzie and Madison.”
 
“I’d like that,” Mac said. “Suzie sounds like a spitfire and I love kids. Claire and I were going to have a family but the time was never right.”
 
Horatio tightened his grip again. “When I come up to visit I’d like to see pictures if I could,” he said. “She sounds like a wonderful woman who was lost too soon.”
 
“She had to be to put up with me,” Mac said, smiling. “I’m a hard-assed Marine, remember?”
 
“It’s not all that hard and I’m quite fond of it,” Horatio purred. “Should we head home and I’ll show you exactly how fond of your ass I am?”
 
Mac laughed. “Only if I get to return the favor,” he said. “This has been an almost perfect day, Horatio.”
 
“Only almost, what did we miss?”
 
“That choco-mint ice cream I know you have at your place,” Mac said. “With whipped cream.”
 
“Would you like to use me as a dish?” Horatio asked. He let Mac pull his to his feet before drawing the shorter man to him for a deep kiss.
 
“Sounds messy,” Mac commented breathlessly.
 
“But fun,” Horatio said. “Whatever you want, Mac; whatever you want.”

 

Speed was leaning against Calleigh’s car when the stunned CSIs made their way back from the beach. “You just couldn’t leave it alone, could you,” he commented bitterly, staring at them coolly. “We’re going to my place to talk about this and if either of you argue I’ll tell H you were spying on him. Have you ever seen him get mad? You’ll want to leave the state before he’s done with you.”

           

“That’s blackmail,” Calleigh said, crossing her arms over her chest. “How did you find us anyway?”

           

“I know H and where he likes to go to think,” Speed said. “And I’m not arguing with you anywhere that bastard Stetler could get involved. It’s your choice, guys. My place or I make a phone call.”

           

“Get in,” Calleigh finally said.

           

The drive through town to Speed’s apartment was tense and quiet. Both Eric and Calleigh could feel the anger rolling off Speed and couldn’t quite understand it. He led the way to his door and locked it behind them. “Sit,” he said. “And tell me why you went chasing after Horatio when I told you it would hurt him.”

           

“First tell us why you’re so upset about this,” Calleigh said.

           

“Because Horatio Caine is my best friend and I’d do anything to protect him,” Speed said. “He was there for me when no one else was and I seriously doubt either of you could understand the depth of that bond.”

           

“Were you sleeping with him too?” Eric asked, speaking for the first time. His face was pale and his eyes haunted.

           

“Not that it’s any of your business, Eric, but no I wasn’t,” Speed said. “H has denied himself any romantic entanglements for years because of his family. He finally has a chance to be truly happy and both of you could destroy that. You just don’t realize it.”

           

Calleigh’s eyes changed in sudden understanding. “You got dumped and Horatio helped you through it.”

           

“Actually, no, I wasn’t dumped,” Speed said, going totally cold. “My boyfriend and I had been together for ten years, our junior year in high school, but hid our relationship from everyone. Four of his co-workers found out and started harassing him. It got so bad he killed himself. His letter said he wanted to spare me the pain of his rejection. I still haven’t found the person I want to let help heal my heart and I probably never will.”

           

“Tim, I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through but you don’t think we’d do anything to hurt Horatio,” Calleigh said softly. “We love him.”

           

“Yeah, I’d ask Eric about that because I can’t tell if he’s spooked or sick,” Speed said. “And if he goes to work like that on Monday Horatio is going to know something is wrong and it won’t take him long to figure it out.”

           

“How do you know so much about that?” Eric asked.

           

“I’ve known since he got home,” Speed said. “I swore I’d help keep his secret because Stetler could use it to his advantage if it ever gets out.”

           

Calleigh sighed. “Fighting about this isn’t going to solve anything,” she said. “Speed, I swear, I have absolutely no problem with Horatio dating another man and I’m sorry he felt he couldn’t trust me. I’ll talk with him on Monday, apologize and ask how I can help him. Like you, I’ll do anything for him.”

           

“What about you, Eric?” Speed asked. “You gonna come clean too and help us?”

           

 “I don’t know if I can,” Eric replied. “I was raised to believe it’s wrong and unnatural and truthfully I’m feeling pretty sick right now. I just saw my boss kissing another man and talking about eating ice cream off him.”

           

“No, I think the other man was going to eat off Horatio,” Calleigh said, the CSI in her wanting to get the facts straight. “Which seems like it’d be cold and sticky and ruin the sheets honestly.”

           

“Cal!” Eric exclaimed. “The point is that our male boss is sleeping with another guy. It’s just wrong.”

           

Speed sighed. “This is what I was talking about,” he said. “Do you know that Horatio considers you both members of his family? He would do anything to protect you and you repaid him by spying on him at one of his most private moments. Can you even imagine how much your rejection will hurt him?”

           

“We were worried about him,” Calleigh protested.

           

“And I told you he was fine,” Speed said. “You let curiosity override your common sense and either one of you can break his heart. I suggest you both think long and hard on this before Monday because H will know something’s wrong and I don’t want to be there when he figures it out.”

           

“Can you tell us who the other man is?” Calleigh asked. “And how they met? It didn’t sound like he was from around here.”

           

“Actually, no,” Speed said. “If H wants you to know then he’ll tell you about it.”

           

It was Calleigh’s turn to sigh. “You’re really being a jerk about this, Tim.”

           

“You know what, yeah, I am because I just found out that two people I considered family don’t trust me,” he said. “And could possibly destroy one of the best men I know. Do you even want to consider what Miami would be like without Horatio to protect her?”

           

“He doesn’t have that much power,” Calleigh said.

           

“Doesn’t he?” Speed asked. “I overheard a couple of gang members talking the other day and one of their new rules is ‘don’t piss off the red head’. He has more influence than most people realize.”           

           

“And he’s going to throw it all away,” Eric said. “I mean, come on, it’s not like they were hiding out there.”

           

Speed snorted. “That’s known as Horatio’s beach,” he said. “Everyone knows to steer clear of the area when the Hummer is there. They were safer there than where they had dinner. And I’m done explaining. Go home and think about what you want to do.”

           

“You’re not going to tell Horatio, are you?” Calleigh asked.

           

“I haven’t decided yet,” Speed replied. “I need to make a phone call to a friend first. But I’ll tell H if I think it’ll save him from any harm.”

           

“Why are you being such a bastard about this?” Calleigh asked.

           

“I told you,” Speed said. “I’ll do anything to protect H and if that means making everyone hate me then I can live with it. Call and let me know what you decide.”

                                                ********************

           

Horatio stood at the foot of his bed and stared at the feast of skin stretched out on his blue sheets and realized he didn’t know where he wanted to start. Up until that point it had been sex between him and his lover and Horatio wanted to up the ante; he wanted to slowly make love to Mac.

           

“Are you just going to stare at me all night or are you actually planning to do something?” Mac asked, his dry voice filled with wry humor. Both men had felt a shift in their relationship on the beach and Mac knew that his lover needed a chance to reconnect.

           

They both started when the doorbell rang. “Who could that be?” Mac asked. “It’s almost midnight.”

           

“I don’t know,” Horatio replied. He grabbed his slacks and slipped them on. “Don’t go anywhere; I’ll be right back.”

           

“Don’t make me start without you,” Mac said.

           

“I won’t.” Horatio made his way to the front door and opened it to find a very shaken Speed standing on his front step. “Speed, what’s wrong?”

           

“I failed, H,” Speed said. “And I think our family is going to fall apart and it’ll be my fault.”

           

“Come on, Speed; let’s talk,” Horatio said. He ushered the other man into the living room and settled him on the sofa. “Do you want some juice or soda?”

           

“You got milk?”

           

“Of course,” Horatio said. “Hey Mac,” he called. “Get dressed and come out here, please. There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

           

When Mac walked into the living room he found his lover holding a younger dark haired man. “Is this Speed?” he asked, recalling what Horatio had told him.

           

“Yes,” Horatio said. “And something bad happened tonight. Speed, I need you to sit up and tell me what’s wrong so I can help you fix it.”

           

“They followed you to the beach,” Speed said. “And Calleigh says she’s fine with it. Eric is disgusted; I could see it in his eyes.”

           

“Eric’s catholic,” Horatio commented to Mac. “Did you tell them what happened to you, Speed? I’d imagine they were curious about why you defended me so staunchly.”

           

“A little but after their reaction to me having a boyfriend I just couldn’t tell them the rest,” Speed said. “Just told them I’d do anything to protect you.”

           

“Can you tell me, Speed?” Mac asked softly. “We have the same goal after all; we both want to keep Horatio safe.”

           

Rather than answering, Speed pulled back the sleeves of his shirt to reveal two white scars. Horatio shifted on the sofa and pulled Speed back in against him. “I’m not quite old enough to be his father but I’m the one who found him on the beach and kept him alive,” Horatio said. “And helped him to heal as much as I could. Speed’s the son I’ll never have and my best friend. Speed, I know you did everything you could and I’ll deal with the rest of it on Monday. I know it’s hard but I don’t want you to worry about this any more. Mac and I both knew that we were risking exposure when we decided to be in a relationship and have talked. We have plans if it gets ugly.”

           

“Where you go, I go,” Speed said.

           

“I know, Speed, I know,” Horatio said. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Do you want to stay in your room tonight?”

           

“Could I?” Speed asked. “I don’t want to be in the way.”

           

Mac moved over and sat on the coffee table. He carefully took Speed’s hand in his own, watching the younger man carefully for any sign of panic or discomfort. “I wouldn’t dream of forcing you out of your safe place, Speed,” he said. “You’re an important part of Horatio’s life and I respect and honor that. I hope, in time, you can come to trust me as well.”

           

“Danny says he does.” Speed yawned. “I’m sorry, H; I’m not sure how smooth work will be tomorrow. Maybe I should have let it go.”

           

“You did just fine, Speed,” Horatio replied. “Let me worry about it now. Come on, let’s get you to bed. Do you need anything?”

           

“No; I’ll be fine. Just being here is enough. I know the way, H; don’t let me ruin your weekend.”

           

“Never,” Horatio and Mac chorused firmly. Horatio smiled at his lover. “I’ll check on you before I go to bed, Speed,” he said. “Call if you need me for anything.”

           

Mac moved to the sofa as Speed shuffled down the hallway. “He’s never told his teammates everything, has he?”

           

“No, Speed really doesn’t like to talk about that part of his life and I’ve never blamed him,” Horatio said. “He hides behind a cynical asshole façade to keep people from getting too close to him.” He lowered his voice and put his head on Mac’s shoulder. “It’s probably just as well Daniel killed himself because I’d kill him for putting Speed through all this pain.”

           

“We’re risking the same pain, Horatio.”

           

“Too much of a risk?” Horatio asked, trying to sound casual, not really realizing his lover could feel his heart rate increasing.

           

Mac smiled and kissed Horatio softly. “Not for me; I don’t give a damn what anyone says about me or my choices. And I can fight too.”

           

“Anyone dares to touch you, Mac and they vanish,” Horatio said. “No one messes with my family and lives.”

           

“It’s probably still something we should talk more about though,” Mac said. “And since your team knows, do we want to tell mine?”

           

“How would they take it?”

           

“Stella and Aiden would probably want details,” Mac replied. “Flack’s a cop so I don’t know about him and Hawkes would be the fence-sitter. Maybe I should have Danny help me sound them out.”

           

“That could work,” Horatio said. “Why don’t we talk with Calleigh and Eric tomorrow and go from there? I really want this taken care of before it upsets Speed any more.”

           

“It sounds like this Eric will be the real problem,” Mac said. “I wonder why women usually don’t have a problem with gay relationships.”

           

Horatio laughed. “Because it’s not their asses on the line.”

           

“True, and speaking of….”

           

“You’ll have to be quiet,” Horatio said. “We both will.”

           

“To feel you in me it’s worth it,” Mac said seriously. “Go check on your boy and I’ll meet you in the bedroom.”

           

“Thanks for being so understanding, Mac.”

           

“I love you, H, and everything that comes with it. Go and take however long you need. I’ll wait.”

           

 Horatio leaned in and kissed Mac, his tongue slipping past his lover’s lips. Mac moaned softly and leaned into the kiss. “I love you too,” Horatio whispered against his lover’s lips.

 

Horatio reacted to the ringing of the phone before he was fully awake. “Caine.”
 
“Oh my god, Horatio I am so sorry,” Calleigh’s way too awake voice filtered through the phone. “I thought I dialed Speed’s number.”
 
The red head looked over his lover’s sleeping form to the bedside table where both their cell phones lay. “You did, Calleigh,” he said, dropping his head back to the pillow. “I took it from him last night so he could sleep.”
 
“Is he okay? He was acting really weird yesterday.”
 
“He’s going to be fine, Calleigh,” Horatio replied. “The question is will you be okay to work with him today?”
 
“Of course I will. I don’t care who my friends love, just as long as they aren’t hurt,” she said. “Did he tell you the rest of it?”
 
“Yes he did and I need to talk with you. If you can, come to my house for lunch today,” Horatio said.
 
There was a short pause. “What about your weekend?”
 
“We’ve talked and this is important,” Horatio said. “But call and tell me if something comes up. Now, do you need me to pass a message on to Speed?”
 
“Please. Tell him I’ve got his back, and yours, no matter what,” Calleigh said firmly. “I’m sorry I woke you up, Horatio. Bye.”
 
Horatio closed the phone with a sigh and raised his head to look at the clock. The house was quiet and he knew that Speed didn’t have an alarm clock in his room, usually depending on Horatio to help get him to work on time. He sighed and untangled himself from his lover and slipped into a pair of jeans. He knew he had to wake Speed and get him ready for work.
 
He paused in the door to the younger man’s sanctuary and took a moment to be thankful that Speed was still with him. When he found his “son” on the beach, both wrists slit and bleeding out he’d panicked for the first and only time in his life. Horatio just knew that the younger man was special to him and needed his care but, to do that he had to keep him alive. They’d faced a long, dark road together and Speed was still recovering from parts of it but Horatio could see the improvements every day.
 
“I know you’re watching me,” Speed said. “Have I ever told you how annoying that is, ‘dad’?”
 
“Yes and I’ll do it until the day I die,” Horatio replied. “It’s time to get ready for work, Speed. Calleigh called and said that she’s behind you and me. I’ll be visiting with her later today. So what I need you to do is go in to work and do your job like I know you can. Leave the fighting children to me.”
 
“Okay, okay,” Speed said. “Did I really tell them off last night?”
 
Horatio winced. Speed hadn’t had a blackout/nightmare confusion in a while. “Yes you did, Speed, and I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself,” he said. “What would you like for breakfast?”
 
“I’m not hungry.”
 
“Speed.”
 
“Fine, cereal is good,” he said. “I’ll be down in a minute.”
 
Mac awoke to an empty bed and the smell of breakfast floating through the house. He stretched and winced, still a little sore from the previous night and he was sure there was some bruising to go along with the ache. He slipped on some sleep pants that he hadn’t actually expected to wear and made his way to the kitchen. Horatio was holding Speed tightly as the younger man shook, not crying but not happy. Mac waited for the flash of jealousy he expected to feel and was almost shocked when it didn’t come. He grinned and walked into the room, placing a hand on Speed’s back. “Is there anything I can do to help?” he asked softly.
 
“No, I just really don’t want to go to work until I’m sure of my welcome there,” Speed said just as softly. “But I know I have to because we’re working short and there’s tons of trace that needs to be taken care of.”
 
“You’ll do fine,” Horatio said, kissing the top of Speed’s head. “Now go make me proud.”
 
“Can I call you?” Speed asked.
 
“As often as you need to,” Horatio replied, smiling. “Now go on before you’re late and the boss gets mad.”
 
Mac turned with a mug of coffee in his hand for each of them. “You just want to protect him, don’t you?” he asked.
 
“Yeah,” Horatio said. He took the coffee and leaned down to kiss Mac gently. “Thank you.”
 
“I was expecting to be jealous when I saw you hugging him but I wasn’t,” Mac admitted. “I don’t know why.”
 
“Because Speed and I have a deeper relationship that’s been going for a long time,” Horatio said. “But I’ve never slept with him, Mac; at least not sexually.”
 
“We should introduce him to Danny,” Mac commented. “I think they’d make a good pair.”
 
“But I don’t think Speed could survive a long distance relationship,” Horatio said. “They talk, Mac, almost every day. If something is going to develop, it will. Let’s not push this one.” 
 
“Can I push you instead?” Mac asked, grinning.
 
“Any time you want,” Horatio said, laughing. “But let’s eat before breakfast gets cold and then I want to introduce you to my back deck and the nice, soft lounge chairs I have out there.”
********************
 
Eric took some evidence into the layout room. “Hey, Speed,” he said. He looked up with a frown at the squeak and the door swinging shut. “Was it something I said?”
 
“Okay, what did you do?” Calleigh asked a moment later, shutting the door firmly behind her. “Speed is in his lab looking like he just saw a ghost.”
 
“I don’t know, I just said hi to him and he ran out of here,” Eric said. “I needed his help with these slacks too. There’s something on them I can’t ID and I know he can.”
 
“Were you really expecting things to be normal today?” Calleigh asked.
 
“What do you mean?” Eric asked.
 
She moved in closer to him. “You can hide behind your denial all you want, Eric, but it won’t help anything,” Calleigh said. “Men can be so dense sometimes.”
 
“Cal, I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”
 
“Fine, be that way,” she said. “Just for that I’m not going to help you talk with Speed. I’m late for lunch.”
********************
 
Mac moaned as Horatio entered him, the sun beating down on them, highlighting Horatio’s hair. “Move,” he whispered, pulling his lover in closer to him.
 
“Don’t want to hurt you,” Horatio replied, feathering kisses over Mac’s face. “I love you so much.”
 
“You’ll hurt me more if you don’t move,” Mac said. “Can the chair handle it?”
 
“I like to play out here,” Horatio blushed. “It’ll be fine.” He pulled back and thrust forward gently, serious in his wish not to harm his lover but setting a slow rhythm that would sooth and inflame at the same time.
 
“You,” Mac panted, barely able to talk, “have to show me that before I leave.”
 
“Anything,” Horatio moaned, his hips snapping forward a little faster, a little firmer, leaving no doubt in either of their minds that Mac belonged to him. “For you, anything.”
 
“Then move,” Mac groaned and thrust his hips up towards Horatio to drive his point home. Horatio shifted his position and leaned down to take Mac’s mouth in a heated, passionate kiss and sped up, each of his thrusts bringing his lover closer and closer to the edge until they both came with a moan.
 
Horatio stirred and looked down at his watch that was lying upside down next to the chair. “We need to get cleaned up,” he said. “Calleigh will be here in an hour and I still need to try and cook something.”
 
“Or we could just shock her,” Mac yawned. “Wake me when I need to get dressed.”
 
“You are getting spoiled.” Horatio kissed Mac’s nose and pulled out of his lover carefully, knowing Mac was probably twice as sore now than he had been when he woke up. “Do you want two pillows on your chair at the table?”
 
“If I could run right now, Caine, you’d be so dead,” Mac said. “Fortunately you seemed to have figured out how to disarm me.”
 
“All right, rest then,” Horatio said. “But I’m going to wake you up if I need help in the kitchen.”
 
“Fair enough,” Mac said. “Are we going out again tonight?”
 
“I thought we’d pay Eric a visit when he gets off shift,” Horatio replied. “How about Chinese?”
 
“That works.”
********************
 
Not many things could shock Calleigh although she had to admit her boss opening his front door wearing nothing but a pair of very obviously well-worn black jeans was fairly high on that list.
 
“Close your mouth, Calleigh,” Horatio said gently. “And please come in. We’re just finishing up in the kitchen. Would you like something to drink?”
 
“Um, coffee?” she asked, a little off balance. First Speed and now Horatio; Calleigh seriously had to wonder if her worldview would tilt any more before the week was over.
 
“Here’s your shirt, Horatio,” Mac said, tossing his lover a black t-shirt. He pulled his own over his head and continued into the kitchen.
 
Horatio rolled his eyes but pulled on the shirt. “How’s Speed doing?”
 
“Not that great. Eric wants to pretend nothing happened or changed and it’s just hurting Speed,” Calleigh reported as she followed her boss into the dining room. “This looks wonderful, Horatio; you didn’t have to go to all this trouble.”
 
“Sit, please, Calleigh,” he said. “I’ll be right back with the food and my lost lover.”
 
“One step ahead of you,” Mac replied, putting the three plates on the table, “although I’m out of practice and couldn’t manage the drinks too. Hi, I’m Mac.”
 
“Nice to meet you,” she said. “Welcome to Miami.”
 
“H, can you bring the salt too please?” Mac called, looking over the table. “Calleigh, we hadn’t really planned to tell the teams about this but you’ve kind of forced our hand a little. Can you tell me the truth, why did you follow your boss last night?”
 
‘Cop,’ Calleigh thought, picking up her fork. ‘And a good one too.’ “I was worried about him,” she said aloud. “But I should have left when we saw the two of you on the beach. I’m so sorry, Horatio. I should have trusted you and Speed.”
 
“Yes, you should,” Horatio said softly, sitting down and hoping Calleigh wouldn’t mention the pillows Mac was sitting on. “But your lack of trust aside, curiosity is a good trait for a CSI. You just need to learn when to control it.” He looked down at the chicken and rice. “Mac, I told you I don’t like broccoli.”
 
“Eat it; it’ll keep you around longer,” Mac said.
 
Horatio speared the offending green vegetable and pointed it towards his lover. “No.”
 
Mac leaned over and took it from Horatio’s fork, their eyes meeting in a hot gaze for a moment before he leaned back, chewing.
 
“Okay, so you’re obviously in love,” Calleigh said, eyes wide. “But how come there haven’t been any signs from you, Horatio? How long have you been together?”
 
“If I want you to know something, Calleigh, then I’ll show it,” Horatio said calmly while pushing the rice that had been touching the broccoli to one side. “Or tell you. Mac and I have been together since I went to New York.”
 
“Oh my god, I should have recognized the name,” she said. “But that’s hardly any time at all. You’re acting like you’ve been together for years.”
 
“That’s a conversation for another day,” Horatio said. “My main concern, now, is how Eric is going to react to all this and helping Speed regain his footing. You said you’re willing to help us out, Calleigh.”
 
“I know you don’t have any reason to trust me after last night and I know I screwed up,” Calleigh said. “But I’ll do whatever I can to help. Speed is almost scary right now and Eric really isn’t helping matters any. I don’t understand; it’s not like you’re any different than you were before.”
 
“Yes I am,” Horatio said quietly. “Because according to the way Eric was raised and his beliefs I am a sinner and it’s immoral for Mac and me to love each other. We cannot change his views of that; I only hope that we can make him see that leaving the day shift would hurt his career in the…Mac, quit it.”
 
The dark haired detective looked up innocently. “What?”
 
“Putting that stuff on my plate. It makes me gag.”
 
“That’s a story I haven’t heard,” Mac said.
 
“Calleigh, excuse my bad manners,” Horatio commented. He picked up his fork and speared a piece of chicken carefully from the serving dish. “If you must know, Mac; my mother used to boil the stalks, not steam, boil until they were soggy and then made us eat them. To this day I cannot stand the taste no matter how it’s cooked.”
 
“I’m sorry, love.” Mac kissed Horatio on the top of the head and went into the kitchen, coming back with a clean plate. “Better?”
 
“Thank you,” Horatio said, smiling. “Anyway, Calleigh; we’re going to talk with Eric tonight but I think you’re the only one who can really reach him.”
 
“Why’s that?”
 
“Because you’re a woman,” Mac said. “Think about it; Horatio and I are together and Speed admitted to having a boyfriend in the past. Eric isn’t going to really want to listen to any of us. I think the only thing that will get us into his apartment tonight will be the fact that he doesn’t want to be rude to his boss.”
 
“Mac’s right,” Horatio admitted. “But if you would be willing to take Speed out to dinner tonight and then bring him back here I’d appreciate it.”
 
Calleigh frowned. “Back here?”
 
“That’s for Speed to explain if and when he wants to,” Horatio said. “I’m not going to tell his story for him.”

 

There was no one at Eric’s apartment that evening when Horatio and Mac stopped by with supper. Horatio thought for a minute and then slid a note under Eric’s door telling him to take a couple days of vacation to think and to call when he made a decision what he wanted to do.

           

“Where do you think he is?”

           

“Eric’s family is in Miami and he probably went home to think,” Horatio replied. “I don’t know why he’s acting like he is, Mac. It’s like he’s a totally different person from the happy young man I know.”

           

“I can think of three reasons for a change in personality like this,” Mac said. “First is out and out hate of the homosexual community and there’s no talking to him and Eric’s going to leave your team. The second is that he’s repressing and is just scared because he suddenly sees his boss, a man he admires, in an almost open gay relationship and doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings. And the third is that he’s attracted to you and is just jealous that I got to you first.”

           

Horatio managed a weak smile. “Thank you, Mac,” he said. “I’ll ask Calleigh to check in on Eric tomorrow and talk with him. I want nothing to interfere with our last day together before you have to go home.”

           

“And you still have to show me how you play on your deck,” Mac said. He glanced over and started laughing at the red shade his lover had turned. “It can’t be that bad, can it?”

           

“It’s just not something I’ve ever done before,” Horatio replied. “But with you I’ll do anything.”

           

Mac handed him a couple of bags and opened his door. “Then lets get inside before this gets cold,” he said. “It looks like someone is here.”

           

“Calleigh,” Horatio said. “And probably Speed. Did you give me the almond chicken or do you still have it?”

           

“I think it’s in your bag. Why?”

           

“Because I know Speed and he hasn’t eaten since he left this morning.”

           

“Horatio, how’d it go with Eric?” Calleigh asked. “Hi Mac.”

           

“It didn’t,” Horatio sighed. “He wasn’t there and I didn’t want to disturb him at his family home. Could you try and find him tomorrow, Calleigh and talk with him, please? I’m really worried about this shift in attitude he’s undergone so suddenly. Now, how’s Speed?”

           

“He wouldn’t eat and just vanished into the back of the house,” Calleigh replied.

           

Horatio nodded, pulling out cartons and opening them. “He’s probably in his room reading,” he said. “I’ll be right back; I want to make sure he eats something.”

           

“Mac, what’s going on?” Calleigh asked. “Why does Speed have his own room here and why is Horatio acting like a concerned mother hen?”

           

“I can’t say, Calleigh,” Mac said. “That’s for Speed and Horatio to tell you if and when they feel up to it. Now, do you want to join me in this stir fry?”

           

She looked at the container. “I don’t think there’s enough room in there,” Calleigh smiled. “But I’ll help you eat it.”

           

“Did you pick up on Horatio’s sense of humor or did he pick up on yours?”

           

“Who knows after all the years of working together?” Calleigh picked up a pair of chopsticks. “So, tell me all about New York and your team.”

                                                ********************

           

Horatio knocked on the closed bedroom door and went in. “Speed, I know you’re awake,” he said. “I brought your favorite; can you at least try and eat for me, please?”

           

“H, did you get a chance to talk with Eric?” Speed asked.

           

“No, not yet.” Horatio sat down on the edge of the bed and handed Speed the carton of chicken. “I left a note for him to take some time off and think but if he can’t come to terms with his feelings then there’s a good chance he’s going to leave the team.”

           

“What if he tells someone?” Speed asked. “This is the kind of thing Stetler would kill to get his hands on.”

           

“There are other cities, Speed,” Horatio replied gently. “And other houses we can make homes. But I don’t think Eric will say anything out of place. I think he just isn’t comfortable around me anymore and that’s his decision, not mine.”

           

“But you didn’t get to choose when they found out.”

           

Horatio smiled. “If I recall correctly, I didn’t get to choose when you found out either,” he said.

           

“Yeah, well, that’s what you get for making out over the phone with your boyfriend in your office at work,” Speed snorted. “Although I still can’t believe Danny and I walked in at the exact same time.”

           

“I don’t know which one of us was more embarrassed,” Horatio said. “Me, Mac, you or Danny.”

           

“Well, hearing you say what you did and Mac’s rather heated response, I’d have to say me and Danny,” Speed laughed. “Go be with Mac, H; I’ll be fine. Don’t waste the time you have with him.”

           

“Will you eat?”

           

“As much as I can,” Speed said. “Although I still wish I knew what was going through Eric’s head.”

           

The older man kissed the top of Speed’s head. “I do too, Speed; I do too.”

                                                ********************

           

“You’ll call me when you find out what’s going on with Eric,” Mac said, looking around the bedroom for his sleep pants that he’d worn only once.

           

“They’re in the wash,” Horatio replied. “Along with a couple of your t-shirts. I thought you might want to just leave them here so you won’t have to carry as much next time.”

           

Mac grinned and pulled his lover in for a kiss. “I’ll clean out a drawer for you in my apartment too,” he said. “I’m serious though, I want to know that you and Speed are okay.”

           

“I’ll call, Mac,” Horatio sighed. “But do I honestly have to wait until I know something?”

           

“I’d be hurt if you did,” Mac said. “But the puppy dog eyes won’t work on me.”

           

“I wish you didn’t have to go.”

           

“I wish I could stay but our cities need us. And I’ll see you in fourteen days. I’m already making plans.”

           

“I can’t wait,” Horatio said. He hugged Mac in close to him and buried his face against his lover’s neck. “I can’t wait.”

 

 

“So, when’s the next big weekend?” Stella asked as she bounced into her boss’ office. She’d been surprised and suspicious when her reserved, emotionless, zombie boss had started coming to work looking rested and even more so when his eyes that had been dead since he lost his wife were sparkling once more. Stella had been even more surprised when said boss invited her for supper one night at his apartment and she’d found Lieutenant Horatio Caine from Miami there as well. Mac and Horatio had explained their relationship and they wanted her to know the truth because they trusted and respected her.

           

“Like you’re not counting the days,” Mac replied, glancing up from his folder.

           

“That should be my line,” Stella laughed. “Seriously, Mac; I’m happy for you. I really missed this more open Mac Taylor and I’m glad he’s come back.”

           

“I wish I could say I don’t know what you’re talking about but that would be…Danny?”

           

“Mac, you gotta take this call,” Danny Messer said. He handed off his cell phone and pulled his boss out of his desk chair. “Are you logged on the internet? I’ll book your tickets so you don’t have to waste time at the airport.”

           

“Danny, what’s wrong?” Stella asked as Mac tried to catch his balance and hold onto the phone.

           

“Later,” Danny said, typing furiously. “Mac, the phone.”

           

Mac, who was absolutely stunned at the strange and almost frantic behavior of his CSI, did the only thing he could really think of and that was to put the phone to his ear. “This is Detective Taylor.”

           

“Oh Mac, thank god,” a soft southern female voice said. “This is Calleigh.”

           

“Horatio?” Mac’s knees almost gave out on him. He and his lover had only been together for a couple of months, and lived in different cities, but Horatio had come to mean the world to Mac.

           

“Oh no, he’s fine,” Calleigh said. “I’m so sorry; I can’t imagine what my calling like this put in your mind. No, Horatio is fine, well, he’s not fine but he’s not injured or sick and he actually doesn’t know I’m calling you but you need to know what’s happened.”

           

“Calleigh,” Mac interrupted. “Calleigh, you’re rambling and you’re not making any sense. Please take a deep breath, let it out slowly and tell me what happened.”

           

Danny grabbed some papers from the printer. “Okay, here we go,” he said. “Stella, we need to get Mac to the airport. If I go grab his bag from the locker room can you get him to a car?”

           

“Now hold it,” Mac said firmly. “I’m not leaving this office until one of you tells me what the hell is going on here.”

           

“Mac, Speed was shot today,” Calleigh said. “He died in Horatio’s arms.”

                                                ********************

           

It was one thing Mac hated about the long distance relationship he was in. Neither of them could offer quick comfort if they needed it. They talked on the phone every night no matter how bad a day they’d had and saw each other twice a month but it was hard. Mac knew if they weren’t as in love as they were the whole thing would have fallen apart.

           

On his first trip to Miami Horatio had taken Mac to the beach to talk and H’s team had followed them. The fallout almost pulled Horatio’s team apart and Mac still wasn’t sure that Eric trusted his boss but they’d been managing to work together well enough to keep their solve rate up. Horatio had told Mac that Eric came to see him in his office and told him that he wanted to work with Calleigh as much as possible or solo and, as much as it pained Horatio to do it, he’d granted the young man’s wishes. Mac had offered to come down and slap some sense into Eric but Horatio just sighed and said they had to respect Eric’s religious beliefs or they were no better than some of the people the arrested every day.

           

Of Mac’s team only Danny and Stella knew and Danny was a bit of an accident. Mac sighed when he remembered exactly how that had happened.

 

***FLASHBACK***

           

“So Mac,” Horatio purred. “I think we should petition the city to get you an office that doesn’t have all glass walls. Just think of the fun we could have playing while your team is hard at work.”

           

“We’d have to do the same in Miami,” Mac replied dryly. “But I suppose you at least have blinds on your window walls. It’d be fun to give IAB heart attacks but then you know what would happen.”

           

“Time to change jobs,” Horatio said. “Although I seriously doubt we’d be fired for simply being in a gay relationship. I think they’d have to catch one of us on the desk, naked, and the other at least buried to the hilt.”

           

Mac laughed. “So you want me to take you on your desk?” he asked. “Bury my cock in you ass and pound you right there?” He turned around at the sound of a squeak and found a very red Danny Messer staring at him. “I just got caught.”

           

“So did I,” Horatio replied. “Who found you?”

           

“Danny.”

           

“Speed; I think they planned this,” Horatio said. “I’ll call you back, Mac.”

           

“Okay, love you.”

           

“I love you too.”

           

Mac stared at Danny for a minute trying to judge exactly what his young friend’s reaction was. “Well?”

           

“I shoulda knocked,” Danny said. “Who were you talking to?”

           

“Just answer one question, Danny; did you and Speed plan this?”

           

“Speed?” Danny asked. “You mean Miami? I haven’t talked to him since that one case. What’s going on, Mac?”

 

***END FLASHBACK***

           

It was a relief to have a couple team members that knew and could help cover for them when they made their weekend trips to visit each other. And as emergency contacts in case anything happened and they couldn’t call.

           

Mac found Calleigh waiting for him at the front desk. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she said, hugging him. “Come on, Alexx has sealed the morgue so Horatio and the team can say good-bye to Speed without any interruptions.”

           

“Does he know I’m here?” Mac asked.

           

“No, he and Speed were looking for a lost child and I think Horatio put all his grief into action to find the boy. But I can tell he’s hurting and I’m confused, really. They never did tell us what their real relationship was.”

           

“And probably never will,” Mac commented. “Thank you for calling me, Calleigh; you did the right thing.”

           

He patted her on the shoulder and continued to the autopsy room. He slipped through the doors and was frozen by the sight in front of him. Horatio Caine, his wonderfully strong and forceful lover was kneeling on the ground next to one of the freezer slabs. His face was hidden by his arms which were lying crossed on the chest of the deceased dark-haired man. Even from his spot by the door Mac could hear Horatio’s soft sobs.

           

“Oh, H,” Mac whispered, his heart breaking. He almost ran to his lover and gathered the man into his arms. “I’m here, Horatio,” he said, kissing his lover’s cheek softly. “I’ve got you.”

           

“Mac?” Horatio asked.

           

“Your team called mine,” Mac replied. “And I’m here. Do you want me to take you home?”

           

“How can I leave him here, Mac?” Horatio asked, looking more like a lost child than the tough CSI that protected his family from every danger that faced them. “He’s going to be all alone and in the dark. He thought I didn’t notice but he always slept with a nightlight on.”

           

Mac glanced up and saw what was left of Horatio’s team watching them. He tried to give them his best Marine death glare but his heart just wasn’t in it. “We’ll get Alexx to leave a light on for Speed, Horatio,” Mac said softly. “Come on, let me take you home.”

           

“I couldn’t save him, Mac,” Horatio said. “I swore when he woke up in the hospital that I’d always be there to protect him and I couldn’t. He trusted me and I let him down. I failed him.”

           

“No you didn’t H,” Mac said. “Do you remember what you told me that one night I had the nightmare about Claire dying? When we curled up on the sofa and watched the sun rise?”

           

“That the sun is the heart of those we’ve loved and lost coming back to check on us every day,” Horatio said, tears in his blue eyes. “And the stars at night are the ones we never forget watching over us as we dream.”

           

“So you know that Speed is already watching over you and he’s just as sad as you are,” Mac continued. “Maybe even more so because you’re hurting and there’s nothing he can do to help you. But I can; H, let me take you home for the day.”

           

“My team?”

           

“They know what to do and know you need some time to regroup,” Mac said. “I think Calleigh might just hurt us both if we don’t leave soon.”

           

Horatio leaned over and kissed Speed’s forehead gently. “Good-bye, Speed,” he whispered. “A father couldn’t ask for a better son.”

           

Mac kissed Speed’s head as well. “I’ll take care of him for you, Speed,” he said. “And we’ll miss you.”

                                                ********************

           

Calleigh watched Eric watch Mac as he comforted his lover down in the autopsy room. She knew that Eric still wasn’t that comfortable with the idea of his boss being in a relationship with another man and hoped that he wouldn’t push the issue right now. Not with how upset Horatio was. She’d never seen him so emotional before and it almost scared her to know that her boss cared for one of his own that deeply.

           

“Okay, who was that and why didn’t I know about this?” Alexx asked once the two men had left. “And how does he know about me?”

           

“Let’s finish up the paperwork and go out for a bite,” Calleigh replied. “I really don’t think we should be talking about this at work.”

           

“Do you think I could catch them before they leave?” Eric asked.

           

“Why?” Calleigh asked suspiciously.

           

“To apologize,” Eric replied, already moving away. He made his way quickly through the halls, his mind racing with what he had seen. His best friend was gone and his boss had broken down and was only comforted by the presence of one man. It showed Eric what Calleigh had been trying to tell him since they’d found out about Horatio’s relationship. “Hey H,” he called. “Wait up a minute.” It was hard for Eric to ignore the look on Mac’s face but he did and looked at his boss. “I’m sorry,” he said softly.

           

“I lost one son today, Eric,” Horatio said. “I can’t lose you both. Please don’t leave the team. I know you’re still thinking about it.”

           

“I won’t H,” Eric said, choking up a little. “I wish I’d listened to Speed and Cal but I just couldn’t.” He took a deep breath and looked over at the other man. “I’m Eric Delko; welcome to the family.”

 

Mac had been amazed as he watched his lover change as they walked through the morgue doors. Gone was the mourning father, the man who had barely been holding it together. Instead he was walking next to the in control lieutenant who broke down only when Eric caught them in front of the lab. Mac had almost stopped the younger man from talking with Horatio but he could see the pain in those deep brown eyes and knew that the younger man was coming around. A death in the family tended to do that. It made people reevaluate where they stood in life, mend any rifts that might be hanging around and try to move on more unified. Mac looked back at Eric evenly. “Thank you,” he said softly. “Can you take care of the girls tonight while I look after Horatio?”
 
“Yeah,” Eric said. “Yeah, I can do that. Will you be staying for the funeral?”
 
“I will,” Mac replied. “And then I’m stealing Horatio for the weekend.”
 
“Good,” Eric smiled. “He needs it. Look, I need to get back inside. H has my cell number. Call me if you guys need anything tonight.”
 
“Thank you, Eric,” Mac said. The lovers watched the CSI leave and hurry back into the lab. “Are you all right to drive, Horatio?”
 
“I have to be, Mac,” Horatio sighed. “I drove the hummer today and you can’t drive it.”
 
“Do you have food at home?”
 
“I think so,” Horatio said. “Right now I just want to get away from here.”
 
Mac nodded. “Let’s get you cleaned up and take a nap,” he said softly. “Then we can go out to the beach and just listen to the waves for a while. How does that sound?”
 
“Perfect.”
********************
 
Calleigh took Alexx and Eric to her apartment to order pizza. It was the one place she was sure they could talk openly and not worry about being overheard. Alexx was upset that there was something going on that she didn’t know about that affected one of her kids so painfully. “All right, spill,” she said.
 
“Alexx, this could take a while,” Calleigh said. “We didn’t tell you because Horatio wanted to keep it a secret. And truthfully Eric and I did some things we’re not proud of to find out and it hurt Horatio deeply.”
 
“Okay just start at the beginning,” Alexx said. “Who was that man who took care of Horatio?”
 
“That’s his lover,” Eric said. “They’ve been together since Horatio went to New York on that one murder case. I know Cal called him when Speed got shot because he’d want to be here for H. And I think Mac is the only one H is going to really listen to anyway.”
 
“We followed and spied on them when Mac came down to visit for the first time,” Calleigh said. “Speed already knew about the relationship and told us both off. He was really upset but wouldn’t tell us anything more than his boyfriend had killed himself and H was there for him.”
 
“I found scars on Timmy’s wrists,” Alexx said. “I asked Horatio about them but he wouldn’t say anything to me. He just looked at me like he wasn’t really seeing anything.”
 
“I think he adopted Speed,” Eric said. “When I caught up to him in the parking lot he told me he’d lost one son and couldn’t stand to lose me too. I don’t know how he knew I was still thinking about leaving the team.”
 
Calleigh smiled. “He’s Horatio,” she said. “Alexx, Mac is part of the family and I’m sorry we didn’t tell you but we promised Horatio. We didn’t want him to hurt any more than he already was.”
 
“I forgive you, sugar,” Alexx said. “I just wish there was something we could do to help him out. I’ve never seen him so broken over anything. It scared me.”
 
“Me too,” Calleigh agreed. “But I think we need to just keep an eye on him and let Mac do the comforting. They’re so much in love, it just radiates off them. It makes me hope I can find someone to love like that someday.”
********************
 
He guided his lover into the house and straight for the bathroom. Mac was sad to see the ice blue shirt, the one that brought out his lover’s eyes so well, was ruined. Horatio had muttered something about wading through a canal to get the young boy and left it at that. It told Mac how much Horatio had been hurting at the time because he’d risked his life to save another, all without thinking how much Mac would hurt if Horatio died.
 
As Mac helped his lover strip for the shower, he put all the clothes and even the shoes into a trash bag. They were all ruined and Horatio was too out of it to really notice what was going on around him. Mac stripped quickly and got them both into the shower. He picked up the soap and a washcloth and started to bathe his still silent lover. He talked the whole time, telling Horatio about his team, about the trouble he was having with Danny and his concerns that something was going to happen soon; something that he’d have no control over and could hurt Danny.
 
By the time Mac got them dried off and into bed, Horatio was nearly asleep. Mac knew that one way of dealing with sudden and severe grief was to sleep and he cuddled up against Horatio as the other man drifted off. He wasn’t tired so he just lay there and watched his lover sleep, ready to calm if nightmares started. And he was ready when Horatio woke up and made the simple request to love him. They both needed a chance to reconnect. To know that they were alive and together.

The words kept running through Mac’s mind. The thought that Danny had lied to him was painful; more painful than he wanted to admit. He needed to talk with Danny but didn’t know how to bring up the subject now that his case was closed. He couldn’t just corner the younger man and demand he take his shirt off. Well, he could and Danny would probably do it too and it would solve one problem only to bring up a ton of others. So Mac changed into a pair of gray sweats and a black t-shirt and went to the lab’s small gym to try and work off some of his frustration. Forty minutes later he had to admit it wasn’t doing him any good so he showered and went home.
 
The first thing he did was collect his mail and smiled when he saw a package from his lover in Miami. Not that Mac needed one but now he had an excuse to call and maybe his lover could help him figure out what to do about Danny.
 
“Horatio Caine.”
 
“Always so formal,” Mac teased. “Are you still at work?”
 
“No, I didn’t even check the caller ID,” Horatio admitted. “I was expecting a call from the DA.”
 
“I can call back.”
 
“No, they can leave a message,” Horatio said. “What’s wrong, Mac?”
 
“It’s that obvious, huh?” Mac asked. “I think Danny lied to me today but I can’t prove anything and its tearing me up. He’s a good kid from a bad family and he tries so hard.”
 
“But lying to your boss is never a good idea,” Horatio said. “Did you ever get a chance to pass on Speed’s letter to him?”
 
“Yeah but I don’t know if he’s read it yet.” Mac stretched out on his sofa with the package on his stomach. “I was surprised by his reaction, really. I guess talking on the phone can form a pretty tight bond.”
 
Horatio’s voice turned sad. “If Speed chose to let you in then there usually was a bond,” he said. “I’ll be up in a week; do you want me to talk with Danny?”
 
“Probably wouldn’t hurt,” Mac sighed. “I’ll keep an eye on him to make sure nothing bad happens. Now, I have a box sitting here looking very innocent. You wouldn’t know anything about it, would you?”
 
“Maybe,” Horatio replied. “Is it in a plain brown wrapper?”
 
“So plain my mother would probably object,” Mac said. “Is this something I need to be naked for?”
 
“Hmmm, it’d certainly help,” Horatio said. “I love picturing you naked in bed, all that skin for me to touch and lick and kiss.”
 
Mac swing to his feet and moved to his bedroom. “I’m going to put you on speaker phone while I strip,” he said. “And then I’m going to open this mysterious package from my playful lover.”
 
“I was only wearing a towel when you called,” Horatio said. “You caught me just as I stepped out of the shower and before I could get dressed. You must have known I was thinking about you. I was thinking how nice it would be to be with you, feeling your tongue licking up all the water drops that were beading on my skin.”
 
“So are you in bed?” Mac asked, picking his phone up. “Is your cock hot and hard for me?”
 
“Oh yeah,” Horatio moaned.
 
“Touch yourself, H,” Mac said. He cradled the phone against his shoulder and started to open the wrapping on the box. “Wrap those long fingers of your around your cock and stroke slowly up and down. Tease yourself, imagine it’s me there slowly driving you crazy.” Horatio gave a strangled moan, a noise that Mac recognized. “You have one of your toys there, don’t you? Are you picturing me filling your ass?”
 
“Mac,” Horatio moaned. “Need you so badly.”
 
“Okay,” Mac said, knowing what his lover wanted. “You feel so good around me, H; so hot and tight. I can’t hold still, I have to move. It’s not going to be an easy ride. You’ll feel it every time you move tomorrow. You feel so good, H. Come on, move with me. Let go, let your hips move with me. Now jerk yourself off, H. Come for me.”
 
“Mac!”
 
The New York detective listened to his lover catch his breath as he finished opening the package from Miami. “Horatio.”
 
“You don’t like it?”
 
Mac picked up the dildo and looked at it closely. “It looks a lot like you,” he finally said.
 
“Artie has quite a collection at his store,” Horatio said. “It took about an hour to find that one. There’s lube in the box too.”
 
“Is this for when you come to visit?”
 
“It’s for when I’m not there,” Horatio said. “You’ll have the real thing when I’m around. You don’t have to use it if you don’t want to.”
 
“It’s not that,” Mac said. “It’s just that I’ve never stretched myself out and don’t really know how.”
 
“There’s really no wrong way,” Horatio commented. “You just have to try different positions until you find the one that works best for you. To start though, on your knees is probably best.”
 
“Knees, huh?” Mac shifted around and opened the lube. “I seem to recall you were on your back.”
 
“Lots of practice,” Horatio said. “You’re probably going to want to start with one finger because it’s been a few days and you don’t want to hurt yourself.”
 
Mac did as he was told but found that a single finger wasn’t nearly enough so he increased it to two and moaned as he started stretching the muscle. “I wish you were here, Horatio,” he said. “I want it to be your fingers in me, getting me ready for you cock and...” He paused when his phone beeped. He looked at it and saw Don Flack’s number. “Damn it. Horatio, hang on.” Mac flipped over to the other line. “Taylor.”
 
“Hey Mac, we need you back at the lab,” Flack said. “Something’s come up.”
 
“Okay, I’ll be right there.” Mac groaned, “Horatio, I have to go back to work.”
 
“How close are you?” Horatio asked.
 
“Talking with Flack kinda killed the mood,” Mac replied, snorting. “I’ve been frustrated all day; no one will notice the difference.”
 
“Call me when you get home and we can finish,” Horatio said.
 
“I may not make it home again tonight,” Mac said. “I’ll call you tomorrow. Love you, H.”
 
“Love you too; be careful out there.”
 
“I will.” Mac closed his phone and moved to the bathroom to clean up. It was going to be a long night.

Horatio stood in the corner and watched as his lover moved around the practice mats. He’d known that Mac knew karate but knowing and seeing were two very different things. Mac had a deadly grace about him, one Horatio respected.
 
“It’s rude to stare.” Mac’s dry voice broke into Horatio’s thoughts. “What are you doing here so early?”
 
“I was able to hop an earlier flight and heard there’s a former marine with a thing for red-heads. I thought I’d look him up and see if I meet his standards.”
 
Mac turned and looked Horatio over carefully. His red-haired lover was wearing a black suit with an ocean blue dress shirt that brought out his blue eyes. “Well I happen to know there’s only one red-head that gets this marine’s attention and you look good enough to eat.”
 
“Is that an offer?” Horatio asked as Mac prowled towards him.
 
“No, H, it’s a promise,” Mac whispered. He pulled Horatio to him and claimed his mouth in a bruising kiss. “I’ve missed you.”
 
“I’ve missed you too,” Horatio replied. He wrapped his arms around his lover and pulled him back in for another kiss.
 
“What the hell?” A loud yell broke them apart. Don Flack was standing in the doorway. “So you chew Danny out and make him feel like shit, kick him outta your office and then start playing tonsil hockey with some stranger?”
 
“Don, it’s not like that,” Mac said. “We didn’t know how to tell you because I wasn’t sure how you’d react.”
 
“Just answer me one thing; does Danny know?” Flack demanded.
 
“Yes and so does Stella,” Mac replied. “You were next but the time just never seemed right.”
 
“You coulda just told me.”
 
Mac sighed. “I wanted H to be here and this is the first time you’ve been in town when he’s come,” he said. “And he’s not a stranger, Don; we’ve been together almost a year.”
 
“Then how come I’ve never seen him before?”
 
“Because he lives in another city,” Mac said. “Look, Don, we’re really trying to keep our relationship a secret so we can do our jobs.”
 
“Yeah, making out in a cop gym is a great way to stay hidden.”
 
“You try seeing your girlfriend every other weekend and see how good your control it,” Mac said. “Look, Don, I was killing time until H got here and we’re going to go check on Danny. I’m asking you as a friend not to tell anyone what you saw.”
 
“Hell Mac, I wouldn’t do that to you,” Flack said. “Just be more careful next time.”
 
“That went well,” Horatio commented when the detective was gone. “Has something else happened with Danny?”
 
“Too much,” Mac sighed. “And I probably made it worse. Come on, I’ll fill you in while I shower.”
********************
 
Mac stayed out of sight when his lover knocked on Danny’s door. He wanted to be close in case Horatio called but didn’t want to put any pressure on Danny.
 
“Lieutenant Caine,” Danny said when he opened the door. “What are you doing here?”
 
Horatio took off his sunglasses. “May I come in, Danny?”
 
“Oh sure, yeah, come on,” Danny replied. “Is Mac with you?”
 
“He’s downstairs,” Horatio said. “He told me his side of the story and I was wondering if you’d tell me yours?”
 
“Why? I screwed up and now Mac don’t trust me,” Danny said. He flopped onto his sofa. “I lost his trust, respect and friendship in a week. He don’t know I was listening to the Tanglewood interview. I could see it in his eyes; he thought I lied to him about my involvement.”
 
“Did you?” Horatio asked.
 
“No!” Danny yelled, shooting up. “Hell no; I told him the truth. That bastard Sonny is trying to make trouble for me because I got out. I changed sides and he wants me to pay for it.”
 
“Have you told Mac any of this?”
 
“He’ll barely stay in the same room with me,” Danny said. “And it’s only got worse since the shooting.”
 
“Danny, you made the same mistake any young officer would make at their first shoot-out,” Horatio said.
 
“Try telling that to Mac. He told me a bunch of shit about how he was told not to hire me and how he’s regretting his decision. He took me off the promotion grid and ain’t let me out of the lab since.”
 
Horatio sighed. He’d have to have a talk with his stubborn lover but he had a job to do first. “Danny, do you know why Speed died?”
 
“Some creep shot him.”
 
“His gun jammed,” Horatio said. “It happened once before because he wasn’t cleaning it. I never thought to ask but Speed was scared of that gun. He saw it as a burden rather than a tool as necessary as hit kit. I failed Speed because I didn’t check up on him like I should but I’ll be damned if I let Mac suffer the pain of losing a member of his team. He let me see the report on the ballistics trace. Tell me the truth, Danny, how many times have you fired your gun in the field?”
 
“Counting the other day, twice,” Danny admitted. “I don’t like guns, Lieutenant.”
 
“I know, Danny, but to do this job you need to be able to shoot and take care of your weapon. Asking for help is not a weakness, Danny. Talk to Mac, really talk to him on Monday and ask him for help. Don’t let his stubbornness force you away from a job you’re good at.”
 
“He’s not gonna help me.”
 
“Danny, he’s worried about you,” Horatio said. “He’s willing to come and talk now, he just wanted to give you some space to be honest with me.”
 
“So you gonna tell him?”
 
“Not if you don’t want me to,” Horatio said softly. “This can stay between us.”
 
“Nah, go ahead and tell him,” Danny sighed. “It can’t do no more harm.”
********************
 
Mac took Horatio out for dinner at their favorite restaurant. They played catch-up on all the gossip on their respective teams and other events that had slipped their minds during their nightly phone conversations.
 
They were lying curled up in Mac’s bed after a couple rounds of intense love making when Horatio brought up his conversation with Danny. “He’s scared, Mac. That’s the easiest answer I can give you.”
 
“Scared of what?”
 
“That he’s lost you,” Horatio said. “I know you know this but he’s not a marine, Mac. He doesn’t understand how sacred the chain of command really is.”
 
“With that hair of his there’s no way to mistake him for a marine,” Mac smiled. “I guess I didn’t realize how much my approval meant to him. Did I destroy him?”
 
Horatio smiled and kissed Mac’s neck gently. “No, but its close,” he said. “He needs a lot of help coming to terms with his gun. That’s something I didn’t realize with Speed.”
 
Mac rolled over and pulled Horatio in against him. “Cry if you want to,” he whispered. “I’ve got you.”
 
“I know Speed didn’t always clean his gun,” Horatio said. “But I didn’t double check him like I should have. I as good as pulled the trigger myself. I killed Speed.”
 
“No you didn’t, H; no you didn’t,” Mac murmured. “There are only so many hours in the day and so many things you can do as a parent or supervisor or both. Speed knew that he could come to you for help any time and you’d be there for him. Was the gun dirty when it malfunctioned?”
 
“Calleigh said it wasn’t clean but it wasn’t dirty,” Horatio said. “The firing pin malfunctioned. It could’ve been caused by anything.”
 
“It wasn’t your fault, Horatio Caine,” Mac said firmly. “And I doubt it was Speed’s either. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. He was trying to clean his gun, he just didn’t really know how. And he didn’t know how to ask for help.”
 
“Neither does Danny,” Horatio said. “We can’t lose him too, Mac; we just can’t.”
 
“I’ll talk with him on Monday,” Mac said. He kissed the top of Horatio’s head. “Come on, let’s get some sleep. You’re going to need the energy in a few hours.”
********************
 
Mac made it a point to get to his office extra early on Monday morning, even though it meant leaving Horatio asleep in his bed. He was reviewing case folders when there was a soft knock on the door. “Come in, Danny.”
 
“Hey Mac, you know Lieutenant Caine came to see me this weekend and I finally read that letter from Speed,” Danny said, sitting down. “Did he talk with you?”
 
“Yes he did, Danny,” Mac said. “First off I want you to know the reason your name came off the promotion grid was not because you talked to IAB or Sassone or anything that happened between us. Before I can send you back in the field and get you back on that grid where you belong I need you to pass your firearms proficiency.”
 
“It’s all because of my shooting?”
 
“You hit the suspect in the shoulder,” Mac said. “We never found the second bullet you fired. I need to know you can use your weapon competently.”
 
Danny nodded and took a deep breath. “Can you help me, Mac?”
 
“Yes, Danny, I can,” Mac replied. “But I’m going to be tough with your.”
 
“You’re a marine, Mac,” Danny smiled. “I’d be shocked if you weren’t.”

“Hey, it’s me again,” Horatio said into his cell phone as he made his way through the lab to his office. “I’m starting to worry. Give me a call when you get this. If I don’t head from you by tonight I’m calling Danny.”
 
“Horatio, are you okay?” Calleigh asked, appearing at his side. “You look like you haven’t slept in a few days.”
 
“Um, I’m fine, Calleigh, I’m fine,” Horatio replied. “Is there anything I need to know about this morning?”
 
She smiled. “Just a mystery package from New York,” she said.
 
“A package?” Horatio asked, puzzled.
 
“Well, more an envelope than a package per say,” Calleigh smiled. She looked at him closely. “Horatio, are you sure you’re okay?”
 
“Yes, Calleigh,” he said. “I’ll be in my office if you need me.” Horatio did his best to smile and walked away. He was confused and tired. His lover of more than a year had suddenly stopped answering his cell phone, wasn’t returning phone calls but sent him a package. Horatio had known going into the relationship that it was going to be hard as he and Mac were in different cities and there was potential for a lot of heartache and problems but they’d had remarkably few.
 
Horatio sat behind his desk and just stared at the almost mocking envelope on his case files. Mac just didn’t seem like the kind of man who would send a Dear John letter. Finally Horatio took a deep breath, told himself that just sitting there wasn’t going to solve anything and opened it. Several pictures slid out onto his desk, a note attached to one.
 
From out in the hall Calleigh saw all the color drain from her boss’ face. He reached under his white dress shirt and pulled off a necklace of some sort, dropped it onto his desk and almost ran out of his office.
 
“Calleigh, I’ll be on the cell,” he said. “I just, I need to go.”
 
“Horatio, what’s wrong?”
 
“I can’t,” he whispered. “I just can’t.”
 
She watched him go, wondering if his mood had anything to do with the six month anniversary of Speed’s death and realized it was still a month off. With a small sigh Calleigh made her way into Horatio’s office and looked at his desk. The first thing that caught her eye was a set of dog tags. She smiled and picked them up, the name Mac Taylor catching her eye. It was probably the closest thing to a commitment token they could risk given their professions. She wondered what Mac wore.
 
The pictures underneath the tags, however, made her blood boil. There were four and all of them showed Mac with a red-haired woman. The note stuck to the top picture made her reach for her gun. No wonder Horatio had all but run out of the lab looking like he’d seen a ghost. Mac had penned words that would cut deep. ‘Don’t call me again.’
 
“Hey Calleigh, where’s Horatio?”
 
“You bastard!” Calleigh snarled, spinning around and slapping Mac as hard as she could. “How dare you show your face in this lab after what you did to Horatio? It wasn’t enough that you were too chicken to tell him to his face, you had to send him pictures and then show up after the damage was done? I should shoot you right now and save Horatio any more pain.”
 
Mac was stunned. He caught Calleigh’s hand as it came towards him and pinned her against him. That was when he saw the pictures and froze. “What are those?”
 
“Pictures that you sent Horatio along with a note telling him to get out of your miserable life,” Calleigh snapped, fighting to get free. “Isn’t it bad enough he lost Speed, the man he thought of as a son? You had to just add to his pain?”
 
“Calleigh, I swear to you on my honor as a marine that I have never seen those pictures before in my life,” Mac said. “I have no idea where they were taken. I would never cheat on Horatio. Never; I love him too much. I will give you fingerprints, blood, DNA, hair, handwriting sample; anything that will prove to you that I didn’t send those.”
 
“Who is she?” Calleigh asked.
 
“A new lab tech that won’t leave me alone,” Mac said. “I caught her in my office a few days ago. She must have hacked my computer and found Horatio’s address. I don’t know how she put the pieces together but this has to be her doing. When I get back to New York, Calleigh, I will kill her if she tries to hurt Horatio again. I’m going to let you go, please listen to me and then, if you want, you can hit me.”
 
The blond leaned against the desk, her arms crossed. “Horatio didn’t know I was coming down today,” Mac said. He pulled a box out of his pants pocket and handed it to her. “I wanted to give him this.”
 
“Oh Mac,” Calleigh whispered. There were two white gold rings in the box, one with the initials M.T. and the other H.C. “I’ll find the evidence to prove to Horatio that you didn’t do this and call you. Take my jeep and find him. Bring him home.”
********************
 
Mac didn’t know Miami as well as he knew New York but he knew his lover and where he’d be. It about killed Mac to think that someone he had brought into the labs had betrayed him so deeply. He pulled out his cell phone. “Danny.”
 
“Hey Mac, what’s up?”
 
“That bitch Lisa hacked my computer and did something with some pictures of herself,” Mac said. “Then she sent them to Horatio and made it sound like I didn’t want anything to do with him. Will you let Don and Stella know, please? And look at my computer.”
 
“I’ll look at hers too,” Danny said darkly. “No one comes into my family and pulls it apart. I’ll call when I know something.”
 
“Call Calleigh,” Mac said. “She’s working on it here. I want answers for Horatio. Damn it, Danny; how do I convince him I didn’t send the things?”
 
“Lieutenant Caine’s got that sixth sense about when people lie to him,” Danny replied. “Just tell him the truth, Mac, and let him see it in your eyes. If that don’t work, kiss him senseless and slip that ring on him. You two belong together and ain’t no one gonna be able to keep you apart forever.”
 
“Thanks, Danny.” Mac pulled to a stop and looked around. “Okay, here we go. I’ll give you a call tonight.”
 
“Just be honest with him, Mac.”
 
The cemetery was quiet and cool. Mac made his way through the headstones to the tree where they had Speed buried. Horatio said that Tim liked the sun but liked to sit under trees whenever he could to think and Mac suggested a shady plot that got the morning sun; before it got too hot. His lover stood out against the headstone, his black suit oddly appropriate for the setting as was his posture. Horatio was leaning against the headstone, his knees drawn up, his head hidden by his arms.
 
“Horatio,” Mac said softly, sitting down opposite his lover.
 
“Why, Mac,” Horatio asked. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
 
“Horatio, look at me,” Mac replied. “I want you to see my eyes.”
 
“I can’t.”
 
Mac moved closer and reached out to tilt Horatio’s head up. “Yes you can,” he said. “You’re strong enough to look me in the eye when I saw this. I have never cheated on you. I did not send you those pictures. I did not write that note. I love you, Horatio Caine.”
 
“Then why haven’t you been answering my calls?”
 
“Damn it all,” Mac said, cursing himself silently. “We pulled a case, H; some creep was leaving body parts all over the city. I turned my phone off because we were on the move for three days straight. I should have called but all my focus was finding the sick bastard before he killed again. I haven’t slept or eaten in over 24 hours. I wanted to get down here and see you so badly. I needed to know there was still some good in the world, some love that was so pure that it can’t be touched by evil and I found those pictures on your desk.”
 
“Who is she?”
 
“A bitch lab tech that has overstepped the boundaries for the last time,” Mac said. “Calleigh is working here and Danny’s got Stella and Don helping her. I want to know how that woman found out about you, about us, and decided to hurt you to get to me.”
 
“I know you’re not lying, Mac, but it hurts,” Horatio whispered.
 
Mac pulled Horatio into his arms. “I know it does and I’ll kill her if she’s still in my lab when I get back to New York,” Mac said. “She played the one card that would destroy you and she is not getting away with it.”
 
Horatio’s cell phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and handed it to Mac. “Calleigh?”
 
“You found him, Mac, thank god,” Calleigh said. “The photos have been manipulated but they’re good. I almost didn’t catch it and even then I had to use filters. How’d she get pictures of you?”
 
“Probably in my office,” Mac replied. “Call Danny and let him know, please. Horatio is taking the rest of the day off.”
 
“We got it covered,” Calleigh said. “Take care of him, Mac. He needs you. And Mac, I’m so sorry for slapping you.”
 
“You were protecting Horatio,” Mac said. “Don’t apologize to me for that. I should be thanking you for being so loyal to him.”
 
“You’re making me blush.”
 
“That’s a good look on you.” Mac closed the phone and handed it back to his lover. “I did bring a present for you this trip, Horatio. Would you at least look at it?”
 
“Yes.”
 
Mac pulled out the small black box and placed it in Horatio’s hand. “I’m tired of hiding that I’m in love,” he said. “I want everyone to know I’m taken by the best man on this planet.”
 
“It’s dangerous,” Horatio said, looking at the rings. “It’s very dangerous.”
 
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take,” Mac said. “But I’ll understand if you don’t want to.”
 
“I do, Mac, but I’m scared,” Horatio said. “My heart says one thing but my mind is telling me something else.”
 
“We followed our hearts when we slept together the first time,” Mac said. “They haven’t led us wrong yet and I don’t think they’ll start any time soon. I love you, Horatio, and if you’ll have me I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
 
Horatio took out the ring with his initials and stared at it for a long moment. Then with a small smile he slipped it onto Mac’s left ring finger. “I think Speed would have liked to have you around as a step-dad,” he said. “I love you, Mac.”
 
“I love you too.” Mac slid the ring with his initials onto Horatio’s hand. “Forever.”

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