Title: Lost and Found
By: Serenity
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Summary: Set during Grave Danger, Greg will do what he has to to get the job done. Spoilers for GD. Writtten for the DNA challenge.

DNA on a Styrofoam cup. Nick was enduring living hell because of a fucking Styrofoam cup. I'm supposed to take my turn watching the feed, but I can't do it. I can't bear to see him in that coffin, the man I have been in love with since the moment I met him. I just wish I'd had the chance to tell him that. Oh God, we have to find him.

I barely get to the bathroom before I projectile vomit the last remains of the pizza that I managed to force down earlier. I slump in the cubicle, my head leaning against the door as I let the tears finally fall, my whole body is trembling and I can't control it. As soon as Sara mentioned the Viking Circle case I remembered. Day shift had been backlogged and I had processed the DNA in that murder case. I was the one who matched Kelly Gordon's DNA to that cup. If I hadn't, Nick wouldn't be buried alive by her bastard of a father. It's my fault, my fault, my fault. I repeatedly slap my forehead with the palms of both hands and attempt to focus.

I get up and go to the sinks and rinse my mouth and splash cold water on my eyes, I don't want anyone to know I've been crying, I don't want to look weak in front of them. I glare at myself in the mirror and I know I have to detach myself from my feelings. I need to if I want to find him. For a moment there, I thought we had found him. I saw it all unfold, I would pull the lid off the coffin and he would be safe and we would all embrace him and take him home. But it was only a dog. A fucking dog! I don't know if I can go on, but Nick wouldn't want us to give up. If Nick was here he would knuckle down and work the evidence until the victim was recovered. So I make a steely determination not to let my emotions show again. I grip the sides of the sink and shut myself down. From this moment I shall be a machine.

I stand and watch as they load Nick into the ambulance. He was so close to death when we found him, yet seeing him there, I felt nothing. I got on with the job at hand, killing the ants and helping to pull Nick out, but I am detached from everything around me. There is a void where my heart used to be. I am numb, a shell, a shadow of myself. The wall I created to protect myself has become impenetrable. I have found Nick, but I have lost myself.

I stand at the back of the hospital room and watch as the others fuss over Nick. He's exhausted and emotionally distressed, but he's going to be OK. I can't bring myself to be close to him though, so I wait in the shadows and hope he doesn't notice me. I can see him whispering something to Catherine, and she looks at me and then ushers everyone else out of the room. He beckons me to come over. My legs betray me and I find myself beside the bed.

He reaches up with a trembling hand, desperate for human contact. I feel his fingertips brush my skin and I look into his brown eyes and see the resilience in them. A single tear slips down his scarred cheek and he makes no attempt to hide it. He brings my hand to his cracked lips and kisses it softly. That simple gesture breaks me, and the wall I have built around my heart is shattered like sugar glass. I collapse onto my knees beside the bed and I'm sobbing and words are coming out and I don't know if they make sense but he seems to understand. He strokes my hair and hushes me and whispers hoarsely that he loves me too. He shifts to one side of the bed and I get in beside him and he holds me, and he's still Nick and he is alive and safe and mine, and I know that I lost myself, but he has found me again.