Title: Merry Chirstmas
By: Valerie
Disclaimer: The concept and the people in the story are fictional and the property of several production companies. I only borrow them and return them unharmed and unmarked. No money is made of the story and no infringement is meant.
Rating: FRAO
Pairing: Nick/Don, Mac/Danny, Tony/Gibbs
Summary: Christmas is a time of peace and love. It's a time for family and friends, a time for harmony and happiness. Three couples celebrate Christmas 2006, three different experiences, six different men and one thing they all have in common. Love.

December 23, 2006

*Dallas*

It was December 23rd and the town was all decked out and festive. The weather had turned appropriately cold and everyone seemed to be already in the holiday spirit. The lights of the Christmas decoration made the many Christmas trees and angels sparkle and the slight wind made the trees sway almost magically.

Dallas at Christmas time was a wonderful place.

Nick felt as if it was suffocating him.

He had arrived only yesterday, but already he felt the pressure of his family's expectations weighing him down, already he felt the poison of hypocrisy make him feel ill. He had never realized how much he despised the charade his siblings and parents played when he was around, had never noticed how he didn't like the person he became when he was at home.

At home, Nick snorted as he walked towards his car. Dallas wasn't home anymore, wasn't the place where he felt that he belonged. Home was New York, home was his and Don's apartment, and home was where he could be himself. He stared out into the darkness for a second, before he started the car and drove towards his parent's house. He had left Don yesterday and already he missed him terribly. Instinctively he reached for his phone and smiled when he saw that he had gotten a text message. It was from Don and it simply said ‘I love you.' Nick felt warmth through him at the declaration. He maneuvered his car through the evening traffic while he called his partner and when Don answered Nick smiled. It was good to hear Don's voice. "I love you too."

Don laughed a bit, but Nick knew that his lover could hear the tension in his voice and true to this Don quietly reassured him. "I love you, Nicky, no matter what happens over the next day, never forget that, and never forget that you have a home and a family here in New York."

Nick smiled gently and sent a kiss through the phone, before he closed the connection and prepared himself for the insanity that was his family.

Inside it was the usual mayhem and for a moment Nick wished that he could feel more like a part of these people. His sisters were all here, some with their families, some with their boyfriends and some alone. They were all chatting amongst each other, excited about Christmas, excited about the chance to be together again. Nick saw that some of his brothers in law were playing a card game in the next room and he smiled as he noticed that Ted, the husband of his oldest sister had already collected a fair amount of cookies. As Nick stepped into the room, his father looked up and nodded curtly from where he sat in his chair watching the family. Nick's mother sat at the table next to his oldest sister. She too looked up and waved at him. "Nick, we are just preparing the seating order for the Christmas dinner. Now Marcia and I were discussing which girl we should seat next to you. What do you think, Marcia, Melanie Franklin is a wonderful young woman, she would make a dashing girlfriend, wouldn't she?"

Nick tensed and looking at his mother sadly, he shook his head. "Mom, please don't try to set me up with some girl, you know that I don't want this ok?"

At the same time as he said it, he hated himself for skirting around the issue. Why didn't he just come out and tell them that he had already found the perfect person for him? Why was he always such a coward when it came to dealing with his family?

"Oh come on, Nicky, you are thirty six, you can't stay single all the time. It's not healthy for a young man to be alone for such a long time. I am sure you will like her." His mother smiled comfortingly and Nick shivered suddenly. He felt trapped in his parent's house, felt as if the walls were closing in and with a deep breath he tried to get control of the panic that gripped him, a panic that his life was about to be taken away from him, that his life was about to be controlled by his parents.

"Nicky, are you alright?" Marcia looked at him critically and when he didn't answer she frowned. "Really, Nick, you could show a bit more curtsey to your family. After all you haven't been home for almost a year, we just want to see you happy and it's clear that you aren't happy in New York."

He couldn't take it anymore and fixing his sister and his mother with a hard look, Nick sighed once more. "You're wrong, Marcia, I am happy in New York, happier than you can ever imagine. And there is no need to set me up with some girl, because I have someone, I am not alone."

For a moment, there was an almost deadly silence and then his mother laughed a bit too loud and a bit too shrill and Nick saw how her hands trembled before she reached for another card. "Why didn't you bring her with you? You know that I would love to me her."

Nick couldn't believe her, she knew he was gay. She had known for the last fifteen years, just like his father had known, just like his entire family knew and yet she went on pretending that he was ‘normal'. Don's words of reassurance floated through his memory and Nick drew strength from them as he shook his head and silently spoke again. "You know that it's not a girl, mom, you know that I am gay. I have a partner, I am in love with a man and I know that you would never accept him into our family."

Again his words stopped all other conversations and he felt everyone's eyes on him. Nick shivered as he saw the cold eyes of his sister as she shook her head. "You are not gay, Nicky, that is nothing but a phase. You are still suffering from being abducted; this is nothing but post traumatic stress."

He wanted to laugh at her words, but he felt more like crying. Before he could say anything though, his mother spoke again and her voice was cold. "Your sister is right, it is obvious that you are not recovered yet and this man whoever he is, has rudely abused the situation and your weakness."

Wasn't it weird, how he could accept it when his family judged him, but one bad word against Don made him see red? Nick didn't question it; instead he welcomed the anger and rage because it gave him strength.

"I have known that I am gay for fifteen years, I haven't suddenly turned gay in that box. I told you again and again, that I am not like you, that I don't want to marry a pretty girl and have a wonderful family. I don't want the normal life that you've envisioned for me. I am happy with my life." Nick took a deep breath to calm himself before he continued quieter. "I have overcome my trauma and my nightmares because of Don. I have been able to get closure because he was there for me when I couldn't sleep, because he fought for me when I was too weak. He has been my anchor for the last year, my strength. He is the reason I recovered."

Nick stopped speaking and he saw that even his brothers in law had stopped their game and stood in the door. He didn't look at them or his sisters instead focused on his father and mother as he told them what he should have told them years ago.

"I know that you can't accept who I am, but I have found out that life is too short to be living a lie. I came here to celebrate Christmas with you and I was prepared to pretend, just like you always forced me to. But I realized that I couldn't do it anymore. I don't want to hide who I am anymore; I am tired of lying, tired of pretending. So it is your decision. You either can live with the fact that I am gay or you can't."

He once more looked at his parents and felt his heart break when he noticed the coldness and contempt in his father's eyes. His mother was pale and her eyes shone with tears, but she too shook her head. It shouldn't have hurt this much, he thought, but it did and he fought his tears as he turned away and walked towards the door.

"I will pack my things and get a flight back to New York. There won't be a flight tonight, but don't worry. I will stay in a hotel."

Nick walked out of the room and no one spoke up to stop him.

He made up to his old room, before the tears fell, but he refused to sit down instead packed what little he had unpacked previously and grabbed the bag. For a moment, he stood in the room where he had grown up and let the memories of his childhood flood him. Despite everything he considered himself to have had a happy childhood and maybe that was why it was so hard to leave now. He wouldn't be back and he wouldn't see his room again, wouldn't sleep here again and Nick's hands trembled as he reached out and grabbed a pet elephant and a pet lion from the sideboard.

He looked at the animals and smiled sadly before he opened his bag and stuffed them in it. They had been his constant companions when he had grown up, he had dragged them along to church and to kindergarten and he still remembered how crushed he had been when his father had not allowed him to take them to school.

If there was anything in the room that he wanted to take home, it was them. Nick swallowed hard as he turned around and finally left the room and walked down the stairs into the entrance hall. It was empty and the entire house suddenly seemed completely devoid of life. It was as if his family had disappeared and once again Nick's heart broke as he reached for his key ring and slowly removed the key to the house from it.

He put it onto the cupboard along with the bag with presents that he had brought. The sound of the key hitting the wood echoed through the room and Nick sighed. He hadn't wanted it to end like this, had always hoped that his parents would one day accept him as who he was.

He had been wrong and as he left the house and drove away, Nick felt both relieved and crushed.

---

*New York*

Don was half asleep and watching the hockey game when his phone rang. He answered it tiredly, but was awake in an instant when he heard Nick's exhausted and sad voice. His heart clenched at the unspoken emotions and tenderly he asked his partner what had gone wrong. Nick only laughed without humor.

"Everything... They once again wanted to set me up with some girl and when I told them that I had a partner, they first ignored it and then accused me of still being mentally instable. They told me that I was still suffering from being abducted; this was nothing but post traumatic stress. And of course you abused my weakness... I couldn't take it anymore, Don, and I exploded. Told them that I'd always been gay, that I loved you more than my life that I would never have recovered without you and..." Nick's voice broke and Don wanted nothing more than to be there and hold him when his lover continued. "I told them that I couldn't live with the lies anymore, that they either accepted whom I was or not."

Nick fell silent and Don knew how Nick's parents had reacted. "They couldn't accept it, could they?"

Nick didn't speak for a long time and Don already feared that he had lost the connection to his partner, when Nick almost whispered. "No, they couldn't. They didn't say anything, just looked at me as if I was a stranger. And when I left, no one even said good bye."

Don would have given anything to be with Nick right now, to be able to hold him and comfort him. It ripped him apart from the inside to hear how his lover suffered, but he didn't show any of it as he soothingly spoke to Nick, told him how much he loved him, how proud he was that he had stood up to his parents until Nick interrupted him.

"I couldn't breathe, Don, I couldn't. It was as if I was trapped again and I just, I had to get out."

The words made Don shiver and he realized again how much courage it had taken Nick to confront his parents and how strong his partner was.

"I love you so much, Nick. I do, believe me."

Nick stayed silent for a while, but when he spoke again, his voice was tender and yet sad. "When I spoke to my parents, I realized something Don. Every word that I told them is true; I have overcome my trauma and my nightmares because of you. I have been able to get closure because you were there for me when I couldn't sleep, because you fought for me when I was too weak. You are my anchor, my strength. You are the reason I recovered."

The trust and love in the words left Don speechless and he searched for words. All that finally came out was an almost desperate plea. "Come home, Nicky, please, come home."

Nick's answer was immediate. "I am on the red eye tomorrow. I'll be in NY at noon."

Don felt all tension leave him at the answer and he knew that everything would be alright. Nick would be home tomorrow and together they would make it through.

"I'll pick you up."

His promise was met with a chuckle before Nick said good night and ended the call. Don looked at his phone for a second before he dialed his parents' number. "Mom, can you cook for one more?"

---

*Washington DC*

"Forget about it, Abby." Tony had taken one look at the elf costume and shaken his head, but Abby was persistent and the home for disabled children was her latest pet project. She had been begging and threatening for over an hour now, but Tony still refused to play elf for a bunch of kids. It wasn't so much the event that he opposed to; it was much more the costume, because that was...

"Abby, are you asking us to help out a children's home or a porn club?" Gibbs looked about as shocked as Tony as he stared at the skimpy elf outfit. It was green and made of some kind of stretch fabric. It molded itself perfectly along Tony's legs and the short coat didn't really cover much. Gibbs swallowed hard as he felt his eyes drawn to the part of Tony's anatomy that was definitely not supposed to be this much on display for a children's event.

"There is no way; I am going to wear this." Tony sent Gibbs a look and he saw the plea of help in the hazel eyes. For a moment, Gibbs was tempted to torture Tony a bit more, but in the end there was no way, he was letting his lover outside in such an outfit. He looked sternly at Abby and saw how she fidgeted under his glare.

"Ok, I mean, it is too small for Tony, but McGee refused to get into a costume and so I thought..." She trailed off when Gibbs yelled for McGee and a hopeful looked entered her eyes. "Are you going to make him wear it?"

Gibbs saw the look of hunger in Abby's eyes and decided that he didn't want to know. McGee came running and Gibbs simply pointed at the clothes that Tony had just gotten out of. "You're playing an elf lord in an online game, why are you making such a fuss about being an elf at a children's Christmas?"

It was phrased like a question, but McGee had worked for Gibbs long enough to recognize an order and with a resigned sign, he took the costume from Tony and looked at Abby. "Ok, when do I meet you Madam Santa?"

Madam Santa? Gibbs had to control himself before he laughed when Abby glared at him. She gave McGee the directions and the time and then shoed them all out of her lab. Tony grinned at McGee while they waited for the elevator.

"Madam Santa? You sure that you're going to a kid's party and not some weird bondage club?" Tony's voice was full of innuendo and while it amused Gibbs, it also aroused him and he slapped Tony lightly on the back of his head. "Concentrate DiNozzo ok?"

Tony looked at him and Gibbs saw that his lover knew exactly what the reason for the head slap had been, Tony's eyes glittered and there was a mischievous look in them that scared Gibbs slightly. He was grateful when McGee interrupted their staring contest and asked Tony about his plans for the holidays.

"Nothing, I'm doing absolutely nothing. Hey, it's the first time I'm not working or on call for the holidays, so I'll open some eggnog and watch ‘Sound of Music'. And when it's done, I'll watch it again."

Not sure what to think about Tony's plans Gibbs shook his head, but was saved from answering when the elevator dinged and they were back in their office. Gibbs smiled as Tony walked closer than normal, but his smile vanished as his lover used the closeness to whisper in his ear. "And after the movie, I'll make love to you and listen to your sounds of music and believe me, I'll want to listen and watch that again and again."

Gibbs sat down at his desk, glad that no one had noticed how he had tensed and probably shivered in anticipation. God, he couldn't wait until Christmas, it was after all the festival of love, wasn't it?

---

*New York*

Mac smiled as he watched Danny fidget in the car. He knew that his lover was curious as to where they were going and silently he counted to ten. He had reached six when Danny finally broke and looked at him. "Where are we going?"

For a moment he debated about telling Danny, but then Mac shrugged.

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?"

It was dark outside. The traffic was slow and while it had rained when they had left, the rain had turned into snow about twenty minutes ago. The snowflakes looked surreally large in the harsh light of the headlights. The entire scenery gave Mac a feeling of being alone on Earth, alone with Danny. He reached for Danny's hand and held it tight.

"Do you know that this is the first Christmas since Claire died that I feel like celebrating? Do you know that I have hated the holiday until this year? I never understood all the fuss about it, felt even further away from everyone, but this year I understand it. This year I wanted to get away from the city, from work from everyone, I wanted to be close to you, wanted to spend time with the only person that really matters to me."

Mac felt the light shivers that were running through his lover at his words, but he couldn't stop now and somehow the darkness of the car made it easier to talk. "I almost lost you, Danny, and I realized then, that I can't imagine my life without you in it anymore. You have become a part of me, you are vital to me. I love you so much, Danny..."

Mac trailed off, when he felt Danny's finger caress his face and lips. "I love you too, Mac. I... I never thought I would be given the chance to be with you, but I got it and ever since you've come knocking at my door that night, you're mine. I will never give you up, I love you."

A year ago, Danny's voice would have been insecure, questioning, now though it was as strong and confident as Mac's voice had been and Mac smiled proudly as he realized how far they had come. Their relationship had become incredibly strong over the last twelve months, strong enough even to survive Sonny Sassone and the Tanglewood boys reappearing in Danny's life. Mac squeezed Danny's hand once again, before he brought the car to a stop.

"We're here."

Danny smiled at him. "We're where?"

Opening Danny's door, Mac took him by the hand and led him outside. They were standing in front of a cozy looking chalet style house. Mac led Danny inside and immediately they were welcomed by their hostess.

"Welcome to the Catskills Mountains, Mr. Taylor."

Danny was silent while they signed in and as the silence continued as they were shown their own cottage, Mac started to get nervous. He excused himself and went back to drive the car over, but inwardly he suddenly wondered if coming to the mountains had been such a good idea. Danny was a city boy, what if he felt insecure and uncomfortable out here?

The thought made him walk faster and as he entered their cottage with their bags, the sight in front of him made him gasp.

Danny had lit all the candles he had found, had opened a bottle of red wine and was sitting on the couch with his eyes full of love and devotion. One hand was extended towards Mac who let the bags fall onto the floor and quickly crossed the room to sink down next to Danny. Holding his lover close, Mac breathed in the scent that was so uniquely Danny and smiled as their eyes met. Danny smiled too and slowly raised his glass.

"Thanks for taking me here, Mac. Thanks for a wonderful year."

---

*December 24th 2006*

*New York*

Don saw Nick immediately and his heart clenched again. His lover looked as if he hadn't slept at all and knowing Nick, Don knew that it was highly possible that this was the truth. For a moment he hesitated when Nick stepped through the sliding doors into the entrance hall, but then he gave up any pretence and lovingly pulled his partner towards his body.

Nick tensed for a second, but then went willingly into Don's arms. Don could almost feel how the tension slowly drained from Nick's body while they stood in the middle of the busy airport just holding onto each other.

"Welcome home." Don saw how Nick's eyes darkened for a moment, before they lit up and Nick nodded.

"Yes, that's it, isn't it? Dallas isn't home anymore. New York is, you are, you and this city, our apartment. I am glad that I have you." Nick spoke against Don's chest, but Don understood him perfectly. He wanted to lean down and capture Nick's lips, but they were risking enough by just being in each others arms.

With a sigh, Don stepped back and Nick smiled softly. "We'll do it right, when we're home."

Don nodded and then laughed when Nick cursed as they stepped through the sliding doors into the cold outside. "Fuck, what happened?"

It had been surprisingly warm when Nick had left on the 22nd, but since then the temperature had dropped drastically. Nick shivered and instinctively pulled his jacket closer around his body. Don smiled at the gesture and wished he could just wrap his arms around his lover, but what had been ok for them inside with the frenzy of arrivals and tourists, was not acceptable here outside where there were dozens of police officers watching them. Don sighed, but quickly led Nick towards the car.

Once inside he leaned over and softly kissed his partner hello. "I missed you."

Nick shivered again and this time, Don knew that it wasn't because he was cold. Nick's eyes had turned dark and sad as he nodded. "I missed you too. I don't... oh shit… Don, I knew that they couldn't accept me, but it... it just hurt so much..."

Nick's voice broke and Don wished that they were already home. He wanted to press Nick close, wanted to show him that he wasn't alone, but right now he had to concentrate on the madness that was New York traffic on Christmas Eve. He pressed Nick's hand and felt the shivers that ran through his partner.

"My mom told me to hug you and that she is happy that both her sons are home for Christmas." Don felt Nick's tension at those words and he wondered if he had made a mistake, but as Nick looked at him, he smiled despite the tears that were in his eyes. "Thanks Don."

And then they were home and Don could finally hold Nick, could finally comfort him while Nick sobbed in his arms. He wanted to fly to Dallas and scream at Nick's family, but he knew that he couldn't. Don had been raised to be tolerant, had been taught that the freedom to have and express a different opinion was the highest freedom and he knew that it meant that he had to accept the choice Nick's family had made.

He couldn't understand it, would never understand how someone could turn their back on Nick, but he couldn't change what they had done. Once again, he was reduced to mending and healing the wounds that others had caused. Once more he could only hold Nick after someone had hurt him.

"I love you." Nick looked up at the quiet declaration. His eyes were still sad, but there was a deep love in them too as he answered equally quiet. "I love you."

---

*Washington DC*

Tony knew that Jethro watched him with a mixture of exasperation and fond amusement. He had decided that they had not enough holiday spirit in Jethro's house and now he was decorating the house with candles and branches. He didn't want classy, he had had enough of that in his childhood, but he loved the smell of the fresh wood and needles, loved how the scent fit perfectly to the scent that always reminded him of Jethro.

"Don't laugh." He expected a head slap, but instead Jethro remained silent. Surprised and confused, Tony turned around to see Jethro look at him with eyes that held a world of love and pain. Immediately forgetting everything about decorating, Tony went to his lover and carefully touched Jethro's face. "What's wrong, Jethro?"

The touch and the soft words had no effect on Jethro, and Tony frowned silently as he repeated the gentle touch. Jethro reacted this time and Tony sighed relieved when his lover looked at him and he saw that Jethro was with him again.

"Where have you been?" He asked it softly and Jethro smiled slowly and sadly. "The last time I celebrated Christmas was the year before Kelly and Shannon died. Ever since then I worked at Christmas."

Tony's heart clenched at the revelation. He wasn't sure if Jethro knew what he had just given him, wasn't sure if Jethro had any idea what it meant to Tony that he was the only of Jethro's partners that mattered enough to be compared to the family Jethro had lost. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Tony pulled Jethro towards his own body and held him close.

"I never celebrated Christmas the way I wanted, never just spent it with those I love. In my family Christmas was always a grand affair with huge parties and dinners. When I was a kid, I wasn't allowed to join and when I was older I was supposed to be the perfect little boy... "Tony felt Jethro's eyes on him as he leaned back and met his lover's blue eyes. "This is the first time when I spend Christmas with someone I want to spend it..."

A thought occurred to him and Tony smiled suddenly even though he shook his head. "You know what, Jethro? It's not true. I've spent the last five Christmases with the person I wanted to spend it, with the person I loved."

He could see when Jethro understood, saw how Jethro swallowed hard and pressed him closer. "You made me work, but even if you hadn't ordered me to, I would have signed up. You were the one I wanted to be with at Christmas and if the only place I could be with you was the office, then I was happy to be in the office."

"I never realized." Jethro's voice was rough and Tony waited patiently for him to continue. "I never realized that I kept you in the office because I wanted you there."

Tony smiled at the confession and playfully nibbled at Jethro's ear. "Well, I have had five years to plan the perfect Christmas with you. And believe me half of the ideas were not possible in the office."

He felt the shudder that went through Jethro, felt the answering longing in his own body, he leaned down to kiss his partner when the door bell rang. Tony frowned, but Jethro smiled knowingly. "The turkey has arrived."

Jethro moved out of his arms and went to the door while Tony's gaze followed him confused. "The turkey?"

---

*Catskills Mountains, NY*

"Mac, you can't be serious." Danny stared disbelievingly at his lover who was dressed as if he was going onto a polar expedition and held an axe in his hand. "You can't seriously think that we go out into the forest to chop down a tree and have it as a Christmas tree."

He hadn't believed Mac the first time when his lover had told him, that they would join the park ranger today and go with them to get a real and fresh Christmas tree and he still didn't believe it. Where he came from, the Christmas tree came from the attic, where it had been stored all year and it was put up and after all the dust had been cleared, it was decorated. It had been that way always in his childhood and what Mac wanted to do was something Danny had never even heard of.

"Mac, it's cold outside." Mac laughed and Danny stared at him in shock. He had never seen Mac so carefree, so relaxed and so happy. The thought made Danny pause and he swallowed hard.

What was doing, why was he standing here complaining about something so trivial? Why would he even try to revive the Christmases he had had as a kid? He had never really liked them, had always been the outsider in his family, so why did he cling to his memories so much? Why not create new memories? Why not finally understand what Christmas was all about?

Danny smiled at Mac and leaned over to brush a kiss over his lover's lips. "Give me a second to get changed ok?"

Mac nodded and Danny smiled as he noticed that Mac had removed the warm jacket and followed him. His partner leaned against the door at the bedroom and smiled wickedly while he watched Danny undress. "Make sure you wear the protective underwear, I don't want you to get cold in some vital places."

Danny had never experienced Mac so playful and he blushed as he undressed and slipped into the warm underpants that Mac had laid out on the bed. Shaking his head at the winter gear on the bed, Danny turned towards Mac and pointed at the pants and jacket. "Where did you get that stuff?"

Mac smiled. "You would be surprised what these stores in Manhattan actually sell you, if you ask nicely."

Mac had bought all this for this trip? Danny swallowed hard and quickly slipped into the ski pants and the matching jacket before he put on his boots. "I love you and I love this, but all this gear for one weekend? Mac, that's too much."

Mac slipped his arms around Danny and it was weird how even through the thick protective clothes, Danny could still feel the strength in his partner's body and the heat that emanated from Mac. He wanted to rip their clothes off and find the strong body, but Mac's lips at his ear made him stop and listen. "Who says it's just one weekend, Danny? Why can't we come here more often? It's just a two hour drive..."

Danny swallowed hard, and closed his eyes for a moment. He could see it, could see them escaping the city in the middle of January or February and hike around in the snow covered park. He could see them relax and recuperate here and suddenly he understood that Mac had more than one surprise for him this Christmas.

"I'd love to come here." Even as he said it, he realized that it was full of innuendo and promptly Mac laughed. "You already did, love, don't you remember?"

Danny blushed again unused to this cheeky side of his lover and as he turned around he shook his head as Mac held a second axe in his hand. "You know if someone could see us now, they would call the police."

Mac grinned again and shrugged. "Not here, no, it's a tradition to go out on Christmas Eve and get your own tree."

---

*Washington DC*

Gibbs prepared the turkey the way his own grandmother had taught him and while he did so he suddenly felt the holiday cheer grow stronger and stronger in him. He wasn't a religious man, wasn't someone who had ever really believed in Christmas miracles, but this year was different.

He wasn't alone anymore. He was with someone he loved.

It made all the difference.

"You know, we'll be eating turkey sandwiches for the rest of the year and for most of the New Year too." Tony leaned in the door, his eyes twinkling with amusement while he watched Gibbs work. Gibbs smiled at his lover. He knew that he was going overboard with the food, but there was no way to cook a turkey properly and not have too much food.

"We'll bring some to Ducky on Boxing Day and if we still have leftovers we can freeze them." Tony grinned at his comment and walked over towards Gibbs. Gibbs felt the soft lips quickly caressing his neck as Tony brushed a tender kiss on his skin.

"I love it when you get all domestic and festive. I love you for showing me this side."

Tony's words told Gibbs more than his lover probably had intended. They told him that even after all the time together; Tony was still insecure about his place in Gibbs' life. It made him curse his old self, but what had happened was in the past and all Gibbs could do was promising himself never to hurt Tony again.

"Love you too, now out with you else the food never gets done."

Tony laughed and shook his head.

"You sound like your own grandmother."

Gibbs growled, but Tony had already disappeared knowing only too well that a fast retreat was the only way to avoid a head slap.

---

*Catskills Mountains, NY*

Mac snuggled closer to Danny, enjoying the warm body in his arms and the heat of the fireplace that warmed the living room. The scent of the fresh tree was hanging in the room and with the fire cackling silently, Mac felt as if they were in a world of their own.

Danny reached for the hot cider they had bought and warmed up in the kitchen and Mac watched how his lover's eyes darted over towards their Christmas tree. Mac hadn't expected the day to be such an eye-opener for him, but Danny's reactions during the day had told him a lot about how his lover had grown up and how Christmas in the Messer family had been celebrated.

Mac had loved watching Danny during the day because once Danny had gotten over the shock of being outside in the cold, his attitude had changed completely. Mac still remembered the wide eyed look Danny had gotten when they had followed the park rangers into the snow-covered forest. Danny had looked like a child and it had made Mac's heart ache in both love and sadness. He had no idea how Danny's Christmases had been when he had been a kid, but something in the obvious wonder in Danny's face told him that they had not been a pleasant affair. They had quickly found a nice tree and had worked hard to chop it and bring it back to the cottage.

"What are we going to do with the tree? It's soaked." Danny had looked at him and frowned, while Mac once again had smiled inwardly at how much a city boy Danny was. "We put it in the back room to dry and then we decorate it."

His answer had taken Danny by surprise and then he had frowned for a moment and shaken his head. "Decorate? Mac, please don't tell me you brought ornaments and stuff with you. I mean, yes we're gay but hey we're not the fab five, are we?"

The slightly outraged sound of Danny's voice had made Mac laugh then and it still made him smile now. But they had put the tree in the empty storage room and had let it dry. In the mean time, Mac had gotten the decoration from the car and brought it back into the living room. Danny had waited for him and had looked at him with a fond smile. Mac had put the box down and pointed at it while he had been shedding his warm jacket and sweater.

"I didn't bring ornaments, just candles."

Danny had frowned again and turned towards him. "Real candles?"

Again there had been both surprise and wonder in Danny's eyes and Mac had reached out softly to caress Danny's face before he confirmed with a smile. "Real candles."

They had decorated the tree together had put up the candles and few straw stars that Mac had found in one of the cupboards of the cottage. It was a simple tree and yet when they had been done, Danny had stood in front of it with open wonder before he had turned towards Mac. "I never had a real tree."

Again Mac's heart had ached for his lover, but he had simply hugged Danny close and promised him that from now on, they would have a real tree every year.

"Mac?"

Danny's question brought Mac back from his musings and he met Danny's eyes with a smile. There was a deep emotion in Danny's blue-grey eyes and Mac prompted his lover gently. "What?"

Danny looked away for a second, but then turned back towards him again. "Do you want to go to mass tonight?"

The question had come out of nowhere and Mac swallowed hard. He hadn't gone to the midnight mass since Claire had died and he certainly hadn't thought about it when he had planned his and Danny's Christmas together and yet. "I would love to go."

Danny smiled softly and leaned over Mac to kiss him.

"I would love to go with you."

---

*New York*

Nick looked around the table and realized not for the first time that this was his real family. Not the entire family, a large part was in Las Vegas, but still these people were more his family than the one he really was related to. Stella had invited the lab for drinks at her place and apart from Mac and Danny everyone had shown up. It was a merry group of people and as Nick looked from Stella to Lindsay and over to Sid and Adam, he smiled.

"You ok?" Don had walked up from behind and casually leaned against him. It was too close, but neither Nick nor Don cared. Those that were invited knew the truth about their relationship and it felt nice not having to hide. Turning so that he could meet his lover's blue eyes, Nick nodded slowly. "I feel better. It still hurts, but I am home now and that makes it easier."

Don smiled gently and Nick followed his eyes, as Don looked around the room. "You are home."

And Nick knew that his partner was right. It felt good.

He was home.

---

*December 25th 2006*

*Washington DC*

Gibbs was dreaming and in his dream, he was floating in a warm sea. He was content and felt safer than he could remember. The water around him was green blue and he felt it getting warmer, felt it coming closer to him, touching him, caressing him and with a gasp he opened his eyes.

"Merry Christmas." Tony's head was cushioned on his chest while his fingers played with Gibbs' nipples teasing him until he groaned. The rapid change from sleep to arousal left him breathless, but Tony didn't leave him any time to gather his wits instead he leaned down and trailed a wet path of fire along Gibbs' skin until he was eye to eye with Gibbs' cock. Seeing his lover lick his lips as if he couldn't wait for a delicious treat had Gibbs moan once again and Tony smiled as he looked up.

"I told you that I planned this Christmas and there are many things that I couldn't do when we spent it at the office." The words were spoken close to his skin and the heat that floated over his cock made Gibbs tremble with desire. He needed Tony now and gripping his partner by the shoulder he pulled him up along his body and captured Tony's lips with his.

"I need you." He couldn't hide the hunger in his voice just as he couldn't hide the strength of his need as his hips thrust against Tony's leg. Tony chuckled lightly and turned them so that that Gibbs was on top.

"Take me, I'm all yours." Gibbs shivered at the promise in Tony's eyes. He had never had had such a responsive lover, never felt so complete with someone and as he slid into Tony's body he could feel the sense of homecoming deepen.

"I love you." Tony moaned at his words and his eyes sparkled. "So do I, but please move ok?"

The change from deep and loving to playful was so fast that Gibbs was caught off guard and he laughed even as he started to move. The laughter soon turned into a gasp as Tony contracted his muscles and Gibbs groaned again when he looked at his lover. Tony's face was lit by the sun and from the passion inside. His partner was beautiful and Gibbs thrust once, twice more before he lost himself in the eyes and the light of his lover.

"Now that's a nice way to start Christmas." Tony's voice made him look up and he saw that Tony looked sated and boneless and Gibbs' heart burst with love.

"Merry Christmas, love."

Tony caressed his face gently before he answered with the same words. "Merry Christmas."

---

*Catskill Mountains, NY*

Danny was freezing as he walked into the living room. They had gone for a little walk that had turned out to be a long walk because Mac had kept showing him little places that were so beautiful covered with snow that Danny had completely forgotten about the time. Now though he was cold down to his bones and as he sat down in front of the fire, he couldn't stop shivering.

"Danny, why didn't you tell me how cold you had become?" Mac's arms pulled him closer to the fire and at the same time towards Mac's body and Danny smiled as he looked up at his partner. "I didn't notice until I came in here. I had too much fun."

He had had fun, Danny thought as he leaned back into Mac's chest. More fun than he could remember in a long time. He had gotten to know a completely different Mac, one that was playful and laughed a lot, one that had thrown him into the snow when Danny had refused to make snow angels and one that had sat at midnight mass with tears in his eyes. Impulsively Danny turned around and pulled Mac close.

"Thanks Mac, thanks for everything." Danny knew that his voice almost broke, but he didn't care. It had been the best Christmas in many years and Mac deserved to know that.

Mac's eyes met his and Danny swallowed hard at the love in them. Mac smiled and pulled him up and over to their Christmas tree. "I think it's time to light the candles, don't you think too?"

It had already gotten dark outside and Danny felt his own heart clench as he watched Mac light the candles on their tree. They had already put the presents underneath the festive tree and now for the first time in many years, Danny felt the spirit of the holiday wake in him and he swallowed hard as he got up to stand next to Mac.

"Merry Christmas"

Mac smiled and leaned over to kiss Danny before he pulled him down onto the soft rug and together they watched as the flames swayed in the air creating a play of shadows and light in the room. Finally Danny got up and took one of the presents. "You once told me that the perfect present is funny, can be used for something and has a deeper meaning. I didn't find one that matched, so I got you three presents."

He handed Mac the first of the three small boxes. "This is the funny one."

Mac looked at him with a raised eyebrow as he found a ticket to his favorite comedy club, but before he could say anything, Danny handed him the second box.

"That's the one that can be used for something." Now Danny blushed as Mac found a pair of soft leather cuffs. Mac's gaze heated as he looked at his lover and Danny felt himself trembling under the suddenly dominant look. Mac pulled him towards his body and bit Danny in his ear. "I can't wait using them on you."

Swallowing hard, Danny nodded and then feeling almost shy, he handed Mac the last box. "That's the one with the deeper meaning."

He watched as Mac unwrapped the present and opened the box to find the golden necklace with the St. Christopher's medal. Mac's eyes met his and Danny saw both awe and surprise in the blue orbs. He trembled inwardly as he started to explain. "It's my mothers. She gave it to me when I was a kid."

Mac's hand hovered over the medallion and Danny could see how the fingers shivered slightly.

"Danny, this is too much. You should keep this."

But Danny shook his head and meeting Mac's eyes again he swallowed at the love in them.

"Do you remember when you gave me your dog tags? I have worn them ever since that day and every time I feel insecure or someone makes me feel bad, I think of what you told me then. I wanted to give you something similar, I wanted to give you something that takes a bit of the burden that you carry every day. I..."

Danny's explanation was cut short when Mac gently laid a finger over his lips. Meeting his lover's eyes again, Danny was stunned to see tears in the blue eyes and with both shock and awe he watched as one tear escaped and ran over Mac's face. Mac didn't say anything, just simply looked at him before he swallowed twice and leaned down to capture Danny's lips. Their kiss was unlike any other kisses they had shared full of love and yet full of despair as Mac almost clung to Danny and while he kissed him and sobs shook Mac's body. It seemed an eternity until Mac calmed down and looked up. His eyes were red and yet he looked perfect to Danny.

"I love you so much, Danny."

Danny reached out and took the necklace, opened it and helped Mac fasten it again and then he looked at his partner. It made him shiver to see his mother's medallion hanging on Mac's neck and it fit perfectly, he thought. It fit perfectly that the last person he had felt safe and loved had been his mother and now over twenty years later, it was Mac.

"I love you, Mac."

He pulled Mac towards himself and together they watched the candles before Mac turned around and kissed Danny slowly.

"Merry Christmas."

---

*New York*

Three hours after Don and Nick had arrived; Nick's head was spinning with the noise and chaos around him. Christmas at the Flack family was loud and full of laughter and joy. No one had ever questioned him why he was here; instead Don's mother had simply hugged him tightly and told him that she was glad that he made it.

It had calmed his fears of being unwelcome, but at the same time the warm welcome had made his heart ache with loss. It was the same question that was running through his mind again and again. Why couldn't his family accept him?

Don's arms found their way around Nick's body and with a sigh; Nick let his taller lover support his weight. They were standing in the door with a perfect view of the living room and the Christmas tree, Don's aunt, his uncle and three cousins were in the living room and the youngest members of the family were constantly trying to figure out which of the gift wrapped packages underneath the tree were theirs. It was homey, comfortable and turning his head towards Don, Nick smiled slowly.

"Thanks for taking me with you."

Don shook his head and yet he smiled. "Why would I not take you with me? Mom was so happy that you can come too. She missed you; I actually think she prefers you to me."

Nick wanted to protest, but he was interrupted by soft laughter as Don's mom came to stand next to them. Her eyes were full of love as she looked at her son and then at Nick. "Of course, Don, after all you've never sent me flowers at your own birthday. Nick did."

She smiled at Nick and Nick could feel how he started to blush. He didn't regret sending the flowers, because he had wanted to thank her for Don, but he had never expected her to be this surprised and overjoyed about it. "It was nothing, just some flowers."

Don's mother had wanted to walk away, but now she turned back and fixed Nick with her dark eyes. There were many emotions in them, but foremost was honesty and care.

"Don's had his share of girl- and boyfriends, but none of them ever thought of it and neither did I ever send flowers to my mother in law. What you did was wonderful, Nick, and you should never sell it short. You are a warm and considerate man and I am proud that my son loves you. And maybe one day, your parents will feel the same about Don."

Her openness, her love made Nick tear up and he felt Don's arms tighten around him. Swallowing hard, Nick only nodded. "Thank you."

She smiled gently and quickly caressed his face gently before she turned around and swooped one of the children up in her arms. Nick's eyes followed her and with a sigh he shook his head. "They will never be proud."

Don remained silent for a moment, but then he leaned down and Nick felt the kiss that was pressed against his neck. "I hope they will one day, not because of me, but because of you."

Nick was aware that they were in public or at least surrounded by people and yet he couldn't help himself. He turned around and tenderly captured Don's lips in a brief kiss. Don smiled against his lips and went to deepen the kiss when a napkin hit him in the head.

"Get a room you two."

Nick looked up and met the smiling eyes of Don Sr. He still blushed especially when Roberta looked at him and Don critically. "Actually, I think you should keep that up. It's kind of cold in here."

The laughter that rang through the living room was honest and open and it warmed Nick from the inside. Despite what had happened in Dallas, it still was a merry Christmas.

---

*Washington DC*

"I'm completely stuffed." Tony grinned at Jethro's comment and pointed at the food that was still left on the table. "You, me and the turkey, being stuffed is a Christmas tradition. Come on, Jethro have some more mashed potatoes."

At Jethro's groan, Tony laughed and yelped when he received a head slap in return. They had had a complete home cooked meal, and Tony had been more than a bit surprised to learn that Jethro could cook very well. His lover had prepared the turkey with an ease that spoke of habit and it had both made Tony's heart beat harder and ache when he had understood that the turkey had probably been Jethro's domain when he had had a family. At one point Jethro had looked up and Tony had seen the quiet joy and love in the blue eyes. He had wanted to kiss his partner then, had wanted to lean over and capture Jethro's lips.

"This was wonderful, I don't think I ever had a Christmas like this," Tony saw the surprise in Jethro's eyes and shrugged. "I told you that my parents' idea of Christmas was usually something very formal, very glamorous with lots of important people invited."

He could feel Jethro's eyes on him and shrugged again. "You know I never missed the real Christmas celebrations, cause I never knew that other people celebrated differently. It was only after I started having friends outside my parents' social circle that I understood that Christmas was more than caviar and salmon and nicely dressed people."

For a second a bitter smile crossed Tony's face and from the question in Jethro's eyes, he knew that his lover had seen it. Some part of Tony didn't want to talk about the past, but he had learned a lot about his partner in the last two days and he wanted to share some of his wounds.

"We never went to church or so, religion was never a topic in my parents' house until they found out I was gay and then suddenly it was a huge issue. Suddenly I was a sinner and on the way to hell..."

Jethro's hand covered Tony's and his eyes were warm with understanding. Tony swallowed hard, but the smile he gave his lover was a real one, because although the hurt was still there, Tony had long ago stopped caring about the dysfunctional family he had grown up in.

"You ready for your presents?" Tony's eyes lit up at Jethro's question and he followed Jethro over to the living room eagerly. He had no idea what Jethro would say to his present, but he really hoped that his lover would like it.

"Merry Christmas, Jethro." Tony was surprised to see that his hands were trembling lightly when he handed the envelope over. Jethro looked at him and opened the card slowly. He was silent for a while after he had read Tony's wishes and love words. Tony felt even more nervous now but when their eyes met and he saw the love in Jethro's blue eyes, Tony knew he had done the right thing.

"Five days in Colorado?"

Tony knew that he was blushing, but he had thought long about his present and with a smile he simply told Jethro the truth. "I just want to spend time with you outside of work, outside of Washington. I though we could go somewhere where we don't have to hide, where we can..."

Any further explanations were stolen from Tony's lips as Jethro leaned in and kissed Tony. The kiss chased away even the last bit of fear and nervousness and melting against Jethro Tony let his lover dominate the kiss until they both had to draw apart to breathe.

"It's a wonderful idea. I love it."

Jethro leaned over and handed Tony a small package wrapped in red paper. Looking at the gift, Tony noticed the small sticker at the side and surprised he looked at Jethro. "Cartier?"

Jethro swallowed hard, but simply waved Tony's question aside. "Just open it ok?"

Wondering whether Jethro had gotten him a watch, Tony opened the gift and gasped silently when he saw the simple platinum bracelet that lay on the red velvet. It was a masterpiece in elegance and simplicity and dumbfound Tony lifted it out of the box.

"Jethro, it's wonderful. But it's too much..." Tony could hear how his voice trembled as he lifted the bracelet from the box. He tried to put it on and tensed when he saw that there was no opening. "And too small."

"No." Jethro had moved over to sit next to him and gently took the band from Tony's hand. "It's not too small. But it is not supposed to be slipped on just like that."

Something about Jethro's words and manners confused Tony and he looked closer at his lover. Jethro was nervous, he suddenly realized. Tony wanted to ask more, but with one finger on his lips Jethro stopped him.

"It's a love bracelet. Cartier first designed it in the 1970s. It represents enduring love." Jethro showed Tony the small screwdriver and opened the bracelet at the side. "It is fastened with a tiny, sturdy screw and requires a matching screwdriver to open and close it."

Tony stared at the bracelet that now lay in Jethro's hands. It was open and he knew that it would fit him, but it was the sentiment behind it that made his hand tremble as he reached out and put his arm into the opened bracelet. Jethro's eyes met Tony's as he slowly closed the bracelet with the platinum screwdriver.

"Just don't lose it, ok." Tony tried to make a joke, but his smile vanished when he saw how Jethro closed the screwdriver and put the little pendant on a sturdy chain and then around his neck. A shiver ran through Tony as Jethro reached out and traced the warm metal band around his wrist.

"We can't wear rings, but no one will notice the symbolism of this and yet we both know what it means." Jethro's voice was deep and almost hypnotic as Tony felt himself falling into his partner's blue eyes. "You're mine and I'm yours."

Slowly Jethro lifted Tony's hand and pulled his lover towards his body. Tony went willingly and melted against the slender body of his lover. Looking at the bracelet he suddenly laughed lightly. Jethro looked at him and Tony saw the question in the blue eyes. "I am not sure whether you're incredibly romantic or incredibly kinky, but I love this gift, I love you and I promise you, you won't lose me."

Jethro smiled and gently nipped at Tony's neck. "Why don't you find out if I am romantic or kinky?"

Tony met his lover's blue eyes and grinned. "Believe me, I will."

---

*Catskill Mountains, NY*

Mac watched as Danny slept next to him. The light of the moon was shining into their bedroom and the light made the metal of Mac's dogtags glint against Danny's skin. Danny had been wearing his tags ever since Mac had fastened them around Danny's neck. He had meant it as a symbol, but he had never realized how much Danny had come to believe in them. Mac's hand trembled lightly as he touched the St. Christopher medal that Danny had given him tonight. He could only imagine what it had cost Danny to part with one of the last memories he had of his mother and it had touched him deeply when Danny had told him that he wanted Mac to have it.

Mac leaned down slowly and kissed Danny's hair. He loved the younger man with a depth that sometimes scared him as much as it elated him and now he knew that Danny loved him just as deep.

Danny mumbled something and turned in sleep to snuggle closer to Mac. Mac smiled tenderly as he once more looked at his lover and silently promised him to never leave him. Once more he leaned down and gathered Danny close to him. "Merry Christmas, Danny."

Mac didn't get an answer, but then he had never expected to get one.

---

*New York*

"I wish we wouldn't have to go back to work for another six or ten days." Nick laughed at Don's words, but he couldn't help thinking that he too wouldn't mind a bit of a relaxing holiday. Still they had tomorrow off and with a smile Nick turned towards his lover as he opened the door to their apartment.

"It would be nice, cause then we could spend the next six days in bed, doing nothing, but as it is, we have only one more day..." Don grinned at the words and leaned down to capture Nick's lips with his own. "I love the way your mind works and combine that with your killer body and I am in love with you so totally..."

Nick shivered under the onslaught of kisses and was breathing hard when they separated.

"I love your body." He whispered kissing Don's cheek, and then ghosting his lips over Don's. "Love your soul."

Don leaned forward and pressed his lips against Nick's praying that he would never become too accustomed to how Nick felt against him, to get used to have his partner in his arms. He doubted it, but he promised himself to make sure that it never happened.

"One day isn't enough time, but then with you, a lifetime isn't enough time." Nick grinned at the corny words and swaying his hips he walked over to their bedroom. Don groaned at the sight and followed his lover until he was right behind Nick. Kissing his neck from behind, Don's hand slid down and pressed against Nick's erection while he pressed his own cock against Nick's back.

"Oh shit, Don." Nick groaned with need and they stripped quickly and soon they were skin to skin on the bed. Don slowly slid down Nick's body planting kisses along his chest, playing with Nick's nipples until he heard the almost desperate moan and with a smile he looked up to find himself sucked into the vortex of Nick's dark eyes.

Don moved lower, his lips and tongue traveling down, circling his lover's navel then moving still lower. He began gently kissing and nipping at the skin of Nick's upper thigh and running his short nails down the inside of that same thigh.

"Don…please." Nick's voice was a mere sigh and Don could see that his lover was impatient and felt as if Don was torturing him. He smiled down at him and kissed his nose. "Don't worry, love."

He grabbed the lube and kissed Nick tenderly while he slid one slick finger into Nick's body. Nick gasped and Don trembled as he felt how Nick relaxed almost instantly and opened up to his fingers. It always took his breath away to feel Nick's surrender and trust.

"Now, Don, please." Don smiled slowly and then gasped when he slowly slid into Nick's body, feeling the heat He opened his eyes and looked directly into Nick's dark eyes. They were so full of warmth, and love, and desire and Don groaned again. He slowly began to move and marveled once more that he had found Nick. He had dreamed of this, watching Nick as he breached his body, seeing him writhing and moaning under his touch. They had been together for almost a year now and still it felt new to Don and still he wanted to imprint it all on his memory.

"You are so beautiful." Nick whispered and Don moaned when Nick tightened his muscles around him. "So beautiful."

Don to move harder, thrusting his hips forward almost violently and Nick moaned louder, panted incoherent words, and then Don felt Nick's muscles clamp down around him and Nick exploded hot and stick on his stomach. Don moved faster for a couple of thrusts and then his one body tensed completely and he screamed Nick's name as the world exploded in stars.

"Merry Christmas."

Nick lifted his head and Don saw the merriment and love in the dark eyes at his words. He wanted to say more, but Nick silenced him with a gentle finger on his lips.

"Merry Christmas, love."

---

THE END