Title: A Season of Miracles
Author: Carina Scott
Rating: FRT
Pairing: Warrick/Jim
Summary: Warrick and Jim pray for a Christmas Miracle.
Story notes: Teresa is the name I gave Jim's wife, Ellie's mother. I can't recall her real name, so that is all my creation.
Author's Notes: This one is for Tanya, who asked for a hospital!fic. I'm not sure if this is exactly what you were looking for, but this is where the bunny took me. I hope you like it.~*~
For as long as Warrick could remember he had always wanted children. But once he decided that he didn't want to hide his lifestyle anymore, he figured that was a part of his life that he would have to close off. So he just took joy in being around the children in his life, much to Catherine's joy. He had never complained or declined when she dropped Lindsey by in the middle of the night after an argument with Eddie, or asked him to baby-sit for her. He even volunteered at the local boy's home, hoping that maybe he could do some good to those boys who had, much like him, grown up without a father. But his desire to be a father was steadfast throughout the years.
So he began to look into single parent adoptions. And he realized that the likelihood of a single man successfully adopting a child was slim to none. So once again, he put his desire to raise a child out of his mind. Then he began dating Jim, which was a huge shock. They had fought for years and although he had always secretly been attracted to him, he never once thought Jim would feel the same. But obviously he did considering that they had been together, pretty much since they had returned from LA where Jim had gone to help Ellie. A few weeks after they had returned, Jim asked him on a date out of the blue, and of course Warrick accepted. They have been inseparable ever since.
Two years into their relationship, having moved in together a year before, and a commitment ceremony six months later, Warrick began to hint that he was interested in adopting a child. He figured it would be a sensitive subject, especially considering Jim's relationship with Ellie. And it was, very sensitive; and Jim flat out refused. So, as usual, Warrick put his desires on the back burner again. He didn't resent Jim, because he understood that Jim feared that he would make the same mistakes he had with Ellie all over again. But he resented the fact that he was not going to be able to share in the joys of parenthood with his husband.
However, that all changed on that fateful day in that hotel. May 11th was the day his life changed forever. Warrick had never been so damn scared in his life, but at that moment, watching his lover and best friend bleed on that floor, Warrick had felt complete and utter fear. And helplessness. Just thinking about it makes Warrick's stomach churn uncomfortably.
After Jim was released from the hospital, he came to Warrick to talk about adoption. Warrick was surprised to say the least, but Jim explained his reasons for wanting to do this.
~Flashback~
"Warrick, I never wanted children. Well, really I never thought about it. And when I found out Teresa was pregnant, I still felt empty. Maybe it was because I knew the baby probably wasn't mine, I don't know. But when I held Ellie in my arms the first time, I was putty. No matter what happened, I vowed to make sure Ellie knew everyday that I loved her. But I didn't keep that promise. Work got in the way, Teresa and I kept arguing, and in the end there just never seemed to be time for Ellie. Then we divorced, and my relationship with my daughter got even worse.
And no matter what I said or did, she didn't want to hear it. I couldn't blame her; I hadn't been much of a father. But then I was shot, and as I watched her turn and walk away, I knew that I had failed at being a father, and I promised that I would never do that again."
"So, why are you talking about adoption now?" asked Warrick, confusion written all over his face.
Wiping his hands down his face, Jim sighed, "I just talked to Ellie, and for the first time we talked without anger. Well, at least not from me. I called her to apologize for being a shit father. I think that kinda surprised her, considering the fact that she didn't hang up on me. I told her that I realized that I wasn't there when she needed me, and no amount of apologizing now could make up for it."
"And what did she say?"
Voice cracking slightly, Jim replied, "She said thank you. She thanked me for admitting that I neglected her. She told me that was all she really wanted to hear. I've told her that before, but she told me this was the first time she felt that I truly thought I meant it. Then she said the most amazing thing."
"Which was?" Warrick prompted.
"She told me that if I ever decided to have more children, they'd be lucky to have me."
"Wow."
"Yeah, that's what I thought. I mean, I know I've changed, but knowing that she thinks that I'd be a good father, considering the evidence, that's pretty major."
"I'll say."
"Warrick, I want to look into adopting a child. I mean, if you're still interested."
"Are you sure?"
"If Ellie thinks I can do it, so do I. I'm sure."
"Well, in that case, hell yeah I'm still interested!" Warrick exclaimed as he pulled Jim in for a kiss.
~End Flashback~
And for the next few months they searched high and low for an agency willing to accept their application. Sure, most places accepted it, but no one really 'accepted' them as the prospective adoptive parents. Warrick and Jim knew the fact that they were a gay couple would make it harder, but they didn't expect this. A friend of Warrick's that had gone through a similar process when she had tried to adopt a child with her partner gave them the name of an agency that specialized in placing homosexual couples looking to adopt with pregnant mothers looking to place their unborn children up for adoption. It took only a month before they found the mother they were looking for.
Her name was Stacy, and she was only eighteen. She had been involved in a relationship with an older man, who was married with two children, when she discovered she was pregnant. She told the man, and he told her in no uncertain terms that he wanted nothing to do with her or the baby, and that she should have an abortion. She was heartbroken, but she also knew she couldn't support a child on her own. And unable to bring herself to abort her child, she looked for an agency to help her find adoptive parents for her child. Remembering the hell her older sister had gone through to adopt a child simply because she was gay, she sought an organization specifically geared towards gay couples looking to adopt. When she saw Warrick and Jim for the first time, she was skeptical. But after talking to them for a few hours, she was perfectly content that her child was going to the best home. A week later they signed the papers and settled in to wait the two remaining months for her child to be born.
~*~
After the papers were signed, they were busy. With only two months to prepare for the new arrival, Jim and Warrick were frantic. They transformed their second bedroom into a nursery in a long weekend, thankful for the help that Greg and Nick offered. And Catherine and Lindsey were more than willing to shop for decorations. Even Ellie flew down from LA to help. Since that fateful conversation, Jim and Ellie's relationship had improved greatly. She even painted beautiful forest scenery on the walls of the nursery, which had previously just been painted a bright green. It was at that moment that Jim realized just how much he had missed out on with his daughter. He had never even known that Ellie was so artistic. Luckily she had given him the chance to learn all the things he could about her and make certain that he didn't make the same mistakes with his next child.
And when Stacy went into labor on Christmas Eve, Ellie was right by Jim's side, holding his hand, as he waited anxiously in the waiting room. Nick and Catherine were there as well, basically holding Warrick to his chair so he would stop pacing frantically. Gil, Greg, and Sara dropped by to show their support before they headed in for their shift. And the lab techs had sent a gift basket to their home. Well two, one for a boy and one for a girl, since they had decided to wait to learn the sex of their baby.
But as with everything great, something just had to go wrong. The doctor came out to inform them that the baby was in distress and unless they could get the baby out soon, the baby might not make it. Considering the fact that a traditional birth could take hours more, even with inducing, the doctor's felt that an emergency C-section was the best idea. The only problem was that Stacy's blood pressure was elevated, and the risk to her and the baby was too great for them to perform the surgery unless her BP went down. And the longer they waited the greater risk to both the baby and Stacy.
This was not happening; at least that's what both Warrick and Jim wanted to believe. But try as they might to do otherwise, they had to face the truth.
The two men were sitting in the waiting room, stricken with worry, when Jim bolted from the chair. Warrick watched as he walked to the nurses' station. Jim spoke with the nurse momentarily before heading down the hall. Assuming he was going to get a breath of fresh air, Warrick continued to sit vigil.
Little did he know, Jim didn't go to get a breath of fresh air. Instead Jim found himself standing outside of the hospital chapel. It had been over 13 years since he had last stepped foot inside of a church that wasn't case related. And he hadn't believed in miracles longer than that. But it was Christmas Eve, and if a miracle was gonna happen he figured this was a better night than any.
So with a deep breath, he opened the door to the chapel and took a seat in a back pew. Looking around he noticed only a few people in the chapel besides him. Bowing his head, he began to pray.
~*~
Warrick tried to wait for Jim to return, not wanting to leave in case the doctor came back with news. But Jim was taking too long, and Catherine had been telling him to get some fresh air for the last five minutes. Standing up abruptly, Warrick announced that he would be right back, and all but ran from the waiting room. Standing in the hospital courtyard, Warrick was thankful that it was pretty much deserted. Spotting a bench in the far corner of the courtyard, Warrick walked over and took a seat.
Hanging his head in his head, Warrick began to talk to the one person he knew would understand more than anyone. "Grams, I need you right now. I can't lose my child, I just can't. I don't think I would survive if something happened. I have wanted a child for so long, you know that. And now that I have the chance, I can feel it slipping through my fingers." Wiping at the tears falling down his face, Warrick continued, "Please, could you pull some strings. I know if anyone can help us right now, it's you. Because if I lose this child, before I even get a chance to be his or her father, I know I won't survive. And I don't think Jim will either. Please, Grams, I j-just really need you right now."
Feeling Jim, who had stood silently as he listened to Warrick plead for the life of their unborn child, slip his arms around him, Warrick folded into his embrace, and began to sob. Holding onto his lover, Jim cried as he silently sent up another prayer for the life of their child and Stacy.
~*~
"Jim! Warrick!" Catherine yelled breathlessly as she ran over to them, "Come on, the doctor has some news for you."
Running behind her the men burst through the waiting room doors and ran over to the doctor, who seemed to actually be smiling.
"Doc, you got some new for us?" asked Jim, panting.
"Yes, some great news. Thirty minutes ago, Stacy was wheeled into the operating room for emergency surgery. We didn't have time to tell you, but everything went great. Both mother and child are doing fine. If you follow me, I'll take you to the nursery."
~*~
Warrick beamed as he held his son in his arms, completely in awe that this was his child. He and Jim were parents; finally, "What do you think we should call him?"
"What about Jacob?"
Handing the baby over to Jim, Warrick smiled, "I think Jacob is perfect."
As Jim held his son, he heard a tap on the nursery window. Surrounded by Catherine, Nick, Gil, and Greg was his daughter, Ellie. With tears in her eyes, she smiled at her father, and mouthed the words, "Merry Christmas, Dad."
Smiling in return, Jim looked up at Warrick, placing a soft kiss to his lips. "Sounds perfect to me too."
THE END
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