Title: M is for Mother
By: Fran Holland
Pairing: Gil/Nick
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Just a sappy little piece.

 Gillian watched her youngest child through the window.  He was sitting on the porch swing, pushing it gently with one foot.  She silently observed his sad face upturned to gaze at the full moon.  She just shook her head at the sight of one of her children going through heartache and turned away.  Having had seven children, Gillian had nursed a lot of broken hearts.

A few minutes later, she sat down next to Nick and offered him a large mug.

“Hot cocoa with mini marshmallows.  Your favorite.”

Nick looked at her and gave a wry smile.  “I’m not twelve anymore, Mom,” but he took the mug anyway.

“I know, but you’ll always be my baby boy.”

She leaned back and put her arms around his broad shoulders and pulled him close.  Nick allowed himself to be nestled against his mother’s side.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Nick shrugged and took a sip of the cocoa.  His eyes widened.  “What’s in this?”

“Just a little Baileys.  After all, you aren’t twelve anymore.”

Nick chuckled softly and took another sip.

They sat in silence for some time, the swing gently swaying.  In the distance, they heard one of the  horses nicker in the barn, an owl hoot in the woods and the soft sound of classical music coming from the Judge’s study.

“Your father and I are proud of you.”  Gillian finally broke the silence.  “I’m not sure if I ever told you that.”

“Compared to the rest of the family, I’m pretty much a loser.”

Gillian sat up abruptly and turned on her son.  “Nicholas Aaron Stokes, don’t you ever let me hear you say that again.  You are not a loser.  Never have been, never will be.  You are a fine, upstanding person.  You do a service every single day, a service for the ones who can’t speak up for themselves.”

Nick looked contrite.  “But..”

“No buts.  Nicky, if you could only hear your father at the Club.  You would think he only had one child.  His son, the crime scene investigator.   God, when  we got back from Vegas, after your…your kidnapping, your father almost had a nervous breakdown.”

“I didn’t know.”  Nick said softly.

“And we never said the words,” Gillian said with a frown.  “We just assumed you knew.”

Gillian once again leaned back and pulled Nick close.  “I always thought you were disappointed because of my…”  Nick stopped and took a large sip of the spiked cocoa.

“Your sexuality?”  Gillian finished for him.

“Yeah.”

“This wasn’t a choice you made, Sweetheart.  We were only disappointed in the fact that you would have to live your life in a world of hatred, discrimination and in your case, secrecy.”

Again, there was a comfortable silence, with both deep in their own thoughts.  This time, it was Nick that broke the quiet.

“I’m in love with a straight man.”

Gillian was quiet as she processed this information.  Finally, she spoke, “Gil Grissom?”

Nick groaned.  “God, if I’m that obvious to you, the entire lab probably knows.”

“I doubt it.  I’m your mother and mothers know everything.”

After a long pause, Gillian added, “Are you sure he’s straight?”

Nick snorted.  “Oh yeah.  He’s always had the hots for Sara.”

“Sara?  The little bitch with the dark hair?”

“Mom!” 

“Well, it’s the truth.  She comes across as a cold, selfish twit.”

“Well, she must have something that Griss likes.”

“I think you have something that Grissom likes.”

Nick sat up straighter and gazed into his mother’s eyes.  Eyes that matched his own.  “What do you mean?”

When we were there, waiting to….hoping that….God, that time is just so hard for me to deal with.”  She took a deep breath and continued, “Grissom was always there, he just wouldn’t give up and there was something…something I couldn’t see at the time but after we got home, well I gave it a lot of thought and I recalled watching him. “

She touched his cheek.  “I wondered the halls of the lab, watching people moving around – all of them working to find you.  I realized how much you were loved by the people you work with.”

“As I paced, I passed a doorway to a dark room, but there was a strange green light glowing in it, so I peeked in.  Grissom was staring at a small screen and on it, I saw your face.  Before I could react, I watched him touch the screen and he talked to you.”

“Nick, he was talking to you and the conversation was intimate and I felt as if I was intruding.  As much as I wanted to see your face and see for myself that you were alive, I couldn’t.  I left the room.”

“After that, things moved fast and I forgot about it until I got home.”

Nick sat in stunned silence.  Gillian smiled, “I thought about calling you and telling you, but I just wasn’t sure if you saw him that way.  He was your boss, after all.”

Nick leaned forward and put his empty mug on the floor of the porch and sat up.  He shrugged, “It doesn’t matter now.  He’s leaving and I’ll probably never see him again.”

“I don’t think your father and I raised any quitters.”

“Mom, this isn’t little league baseball.”

“No, Nick, this is life.  We taught you all to go after what you want.  Take it with both hands and hang on to it, whether it be work, play or love.”

“I, personally, would call the man.  What have you got to lose?”  A deep voice came out of the darkness, startling them both.  

Nick’s father stepped out of the shadows.  “Jim, you about scared me to death.  How long have you been lurking around.”

“Long enough to realize that my son didn’t understand how proud we are of him.  It makes me a failure as a parent, in my book.”

Both men moved at the same time and Gillian felt tears in her eyes as they embraced.  After a few seconds, the hug ended with both men wiping their own eyes.

“Well, if this isn’t a Hallmark moment,”  Gillian said and  laughed softly.

“Well, son, go call the man.  What is the worst that can happen?”

“He could call me names,”  Nick said sheepishly.

The Judge cuffed his son on the side of his head.  “You are a Stokes.  Tell him how you feel.  If he isn’t man enough to accept it, even if he doesn’t feel the same way, then he isn’t worth your time.”

“Didn’t you give that same speech to Amy when she was hot for Jimmy Strickland.”

“Yes.  And she was wearing his letter jacket before the week was out.”

“It’s a bit different for me, Dad.”

“Nonsense.”

“Go on, Sweetie.  Try.  If he’s not interested then your father and I will be here for you.  But if you don’t try, you’ll never know.”

Nick swallowed hard and reached in his pocket.  Holding his cellphone like it was a deadly snake, he walked across the porch and down the steps.  As he disappeared into the shadows, Gillian reached up for  her husband’s hand.

He looked down at her.  “I’m proud of you too.”

“Me?  Whatever for?”

“For being a great mother to our kids.”

Gillian pulled him down to the swing and kissed him gently on the mouth.  She leaned back a few inches and smiled, “It was so easy with the wonderful kids we have.”

He pushed the swing with his foot and they watched the place where their son disappeared in the darkness.

“If Grissom hurts him, I may have to take a trip to Vegas.”  Jim said gruffly.

Gillian chuckled softly.  “He’ll be alright, either way.”

****

A YEAR LATER….

Gillian opened the door and squealed like a schoolgirl. 

“Happy Mother’s Day.” 

Through tears, Gillian smiled.  “Oh, you two.  Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”  She pulled both men into a hug.

“Gil has a lecture here tomorrow, so we decided to surprise you.”

“I thought I heard voices.  Hi Son.  Gil.”  Jim embraced his son and grabbed Gil’s hand in a strong grip.

“Well, ya’ll come on in,” Gillian stepped back so they could enter the house.

“How long can you stay?”  Jim asked, while they walked through the house.

“Being self employed has it’s perks and Nick has saved his vacation, so we thought we’d stay a week, if that’s okay.”

“Of course, it’s okay.”  Gillian said, as she took in the sight of her son holding hands with the man she thought of as her son-in-law.

****

LATER THAT EVENING…

Gillian sat on the swing with her son, watching Jim and Gil returning from their walk down to the barn. 

“You’re happy?”

“Very much so.”

“I’m glad.  See mothers do know everything.”

Nick laughed and wrapped his arms around her.  “Yes they do.”