Title: A Mitigated Disaster
Author: podga
Pairing: Gil/Nick
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: CSI and its characters do not belong to me. I write and post for fun only.
Summary: As dates go, Gil has had better...

As dates go, and notwithstanding the fact that Gil is refusing to think of this as a date, he's had better. In fact, he doesn't think he's ever experienced such an unmitigated disaster since junior high, when he invited Charlotte McCleary to see "A Clockwork Orange" and Charlotte walked out about 30 minutes into the movie, taking the popcorn, which he'd paid for, with her.

The omens had been good all day, including the part where he'd managed to find an old friend who promised to secure passes, so that Nick and he wouldn't have to spend the forty odd minutes in line to get up to the rides (not that he ordinarily would have minded the wait, but he couldn't imagine forty minutes of trying to make conversation with Nick, at least not at this point).

And then, about ten minutes before he was due to go pick Nick up, things went pear-shaped. It started with the phone call.

Nick had been so firmly ensconced in his thoughts all day that when the phone rang, it never occurred to Gil that it might be somebody else calling, and he answered without bothering to check the name on his screen.

"Hey," he said warmly.

"Hey yourself, Gilbert."

His heart sank. The last time he'd spoken to Sara was over three weeks ago and he'd been thinking of calling her, but this was absolutely the wrong time. He perched on arm of the couch, trying to think of something to say. He must have let the silence drag on too long, because Sara's voice sounded hesitant when she asked him how he was.

"OK. We've had a couple of interesting cases come up lately." He tried to hide the impatience in his voice. "How are you?" he asked reluctantly.

And that had been that. The only saving grace was that she'd called him on his cell phone, so he was able to get out of the house and drive to Nick's.

"Listen, honey, I have to get off the phone now. I have an appointment."

"Who with?"

He paused for a second. "A friend. Nobody you know."

"Oh."

It was clear from her voice that she thought he was meeting a woman, and equally clear that she wasn't sure how she felt about that.

"Well, I hope it goes well. Your appointment," she finally said. And there it was, that neediness in her voice that had always attracted Gil emotionally, even as it slightly repulsed him when he thought about it rationally.

"Thanks." He cleared his throat. "Speak to you soon."

"Yeah. Bye."

"Bye." He flipped the phone shut and closed his eyes, searching for the good mood that had buoyed him all day, but it seemed irrevocably gone. What he really wanted to do, and what was actually safest for him to do, was to head back home and not inflict himself on anybody, let alone the guy he was trying to impress. Still, he owed Nick an explanation for why he was canceling.

He flipped his phone open again, and called Nick, listening to the phone ring as he tried to figure out what to say. Nick answered after two rings, which was too soon.

"Gil?"

"Nick, l'm outside-"

"OK, I'll be right out."

"No, wait," Gil said hastily, but Nick had already hung up.

Gil's spirits lifted marginally when he saw Nick smiling at him from the doorway and raising a hand in brief greeting before turning back to lock the door. This was surely better than going back home and falling in a funk again. He took a deep breath and released it. Just go on with the evening as planned. It would be OK.

And it might have been, except for two things. His friend hadn't left the passes and couldn't be reached, and Nick seemed to be in a weird mood himself, tense and distracted about something.

So here they are, stuck in line for almost an hour, occasionally making desultory conversation, but mostly simply standing next to each other staring blankly into space. And the fact that one or another of a group of rowdy and bored teenagers behind them keeps on bumping into Gil is not helping matters.

"Are you sure you're OK with waiting?" Gil asks for the third time.

"It shouldn't be too much longer now," Nick says, not really looking at him. "What, maybe five or ten minutes?" At least Nick has stuck around longer than Charlotte McCleary had. So far.

Gil shakes his head. "I hope so." He resumes staring into space, trying not to think of Sara or of his earlier hopes for his outing with Nick. He just has to get through this and somehow salvage something so that he gets another shot at being alone with Nick in the future, but at this point he's not holding his breath. Hell, the Stratosphere rides aren't even that good, it's just the novelty of their being so high up, he thinks gloomily.

Although his expectations are low by the time they strap themselves into the seats of Insanity, the ride still doesn't manage to meet them. Plus the whole duration he can hear Nick steadily cursing next to him. By the time they get off, Nick is pale and sweating.

"Are you OK?" Gil asks.

Nick wipes his forehead with his sleeve and nods weakly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think heights bothered you. I mean, you paraglide, you've been up higher than this, right?"

"It wasn't the height, it was the spinning," Nick says. "I thought I was gonna puke."

"I'm sorry," Gil says again.

"Not your fault. I didn't expect it either."

Suddenly Gil becomes aware that his hand is cupping Nick's shoulder and he's caressing Nick's neck with his thumb, feeling the smooth warm skin, and he drops his arm abruptly and takes a step back.

"Do you feel like trying the other two rides?" he asks in a formal tone of voice.

Nick straightens his shoulders. "Actually, no. Not really. You go ahead though, we've got the tickets, and it was a long time to wait for just one ride."

"That's OK," Gil says.

They look at each other, making eye contact for what's really the first time that evening. Nick opens his mouth to say something, then seems to think better of it and looks away.

"The sun's about to set. Do you want to go to the observation deck?" Gil asks, because that's the only alternative he can think of to simply calling it a night.

"Sounds good," Nick agrees and they make their way to the observation deck, leaning against the railing and staring out at the city, as the neon and the lights become brighter in the growing darkness.

"It looks beautiful from up here, doesn't it?" Nick says after a long while. "You'd think nothing bad ever happens here, just a constant party, people having fun and getting married and all."

"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas," Gil murmurs.

"Have you ever thought of moving away?"

"Sometimes. But in our line of work, we're not going to avoid the bad stuff, and anyway, I have a life here." Even as he says it, he wonders how true his statement really is. Other than a few colleagues who, over the years, he's come to also regard as friends, there's really not that much here that he couldn't easily set up someplace else. It's just that he doesn't feel like starting over. "You?"

"Yeah, sometimes. Actually quite a lot these past couple of years."

Surprised, Gil turns to look at him.

"Why?"

Nick shrugs. "Everything. The job, what we see every day, how people around us are changing. It gets to me. I'm OK when I don't think about it, but you can't go through life not thinking about things, right? Sooner or later, you have to face up to them, make some decisions."

"I thought you were OK," Gil says slowly. "I know that after..." He pauses, unable to bring up Nick's abduction three years ago, then resumes along a slightly different line. "Getting promoted is only a matter of time. You're ready now and you'll be a better supervisor than I ever was. And definitely better than Conrad and look where he is now," he ends, trying to lighten the tone.

He sees the corner of Nick's mouth lift at the last comment.

"There's something to look forward to," Nick says ironically. He still hasn't looked at Gil, and Gil studies his profile, the weary slump of his shoulders. Nick looks defeated and Gil realizes that he doesn't like seeing Nick like this. In fact, he hates it.

"You're just burnt out," he tries again. "You need to take your vacation, get away from all this for a while. Things will be back to normal after that."

Nick shakes his head. "If I get away, I don't know if I'll come back. There's nothing really here for me," he says in a low voice. "There's nothing here for any of us. I mean, look at us. We're all alone, the whole team. Even you..."

Nick doesn't finish the sentence and Gil wonders what he was going to say. Even he what? Being alone isn't great, but it's not all that bad. He has his work and his interests. He gets by. Of course, he's more introverted and solitary by nature than Nick. He can't imagine that Nick is alone, and if he is, it has to be by choice.

"You're just burnt out," he repeats, wanting it to be true, because if it isn't, he doesn't know how he can help Nick.

Nick straightens up from the railing and puts his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, that's probably it. Sorry I went all heavy on you."

Gil waves his hand in a dismissive gesture at the apology. "Nick, you're not alone. If you need anything, I'm here for you."

For only the second time that evening they make eye contact. It seems to Gil as if his last words are still reverberating, somehow charging the atmosphere around them. Nick takes a step towards him and while his first instinct is to back away, he stays put, his mouth growing dry.

"Thanks, Griss," Nick finally says in a quiet voice. "And I'm here for you. If you need me."

Gil nods, not quite trusting his voice, and he's not sure what to say anyway. Or what to do. Part of him wants to reach out to Nick, whether he gets rejected or not, and part of him is too afraid to do so. What is Nick offering? Friendship? Something more? He doesn't know and, tonight at least, he's not brave enough to try and find out.

He looks out over the city again. "Would you like to go downstairs and get a drink?" he asks.

"Sure."

Gil turns away from the railing, and suddenly, almost before he's aware it's happened, Nick has stepped up to him, cupped his head with both hands and kissed him on the mouth, then stepped back again, leaving Gil to stare at him open-mouthed.

"I promised myself I'd do that," Nick says in a challenging tone of voice.

"Oh," Gil says blankly.

Nick smiles a little. "Probably a mistake, right?"

"Not in my book," Gil says slowly and when Nick's smile grows broader, he smiles back.

Other than a few pointed glares, Charlotte McCleary had never even looked at him again after their half hour together at the movies, let alone spoken to him. He's guessing the same won't happen with Nick. In fact, this is turning out to be one of the best dates he's ever had in his life, and it's not even over yet.