Title: Not Like the Movies
By: Clockstopper
Summary: Greg needs help battling his demons. Post- Post Mortem so spoilers for that. Also sort of a follow up to Easy Once You Know How, but both can be read separately.
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Genres: angst, romance, post-ep
Rating: NC17
Warnings: none

His hands shake.

He remembers this feeling. Remembers the way they shook like this before, how it took forever for them to stop. The doctor had said it would always be there. Had said that, even though there wasn't nerve damage per se, something about the psychological and the physical way they both blended together might make him shake again.

Under duress, he had said as he prescribed Greg yet another prescription for anti-anxiety medication and had pretty much told him to be on his way.

He had been getting paid on the city's dime and that really wasn't saying much.

But he shakes now, sometimes when he's alone, others when he's in front of various people who are too nice to say anything. They just smile and watch as he hides his hands from them. They don't ask the obvious questions and Greg guesses he can be thankful for that.

It's when he's alone that the shaking gets worse. He's never been afraid in his own home before. Had always been able to walk around in his boxers and socks with his iPod on full blast while he danced around Risky Business style.

Never once worried about the dangers of the outside world coming to get him. Dangers like angry mobs of overly bored kids and pissed off brothers of dead ones.

He does now. Sees the faces of those kids, makes them up in his head and for some reason that's worse than if he really knew what the looked like. Watches his back when he hears and engine roaring because it might be the brother looking at him with those cold, hard, unbelieving eyes because he though his brother should be up for sainthood.

He feels like the teenage girl in all those horror movies he's watched, the one the audience knows is going to die. The one that just smoked some pot with her quarterback boyfriend and then proceeded to have wild and crazy sex with him. The one that always has to run around the forest in nothing but said boyfriend's button up shirt despite how impractical it may be.

He figures he can hide it from everyone at work. Go in and seem like the same guy he's always been, only a little more jaded and then they'll never know the difference. They ask how he is, how he's dealing. Ask all the right questions and he'll answer with the right answers and then he can go back to work.

Nobody will dig deeper, no one will really want too.

He thinks he can hide it from Nick too, but Nick notices. Nick always notices. Frowns when Greg stares out the window, pushing back the blackout curtains just a little bit. Nick will ask him what he's looking for and Greg will answer, very quickly, that he's not looking for anything.

Frowns when he wakes up in the middle of the day, arms wrapped tightly around Greg's middle and Greg will still be up, staring at the wall. Nick will ask the obvious questions and Greg will answer that he's fine.

But Nick digs deeper, he really wants to know.

Greg wonders what Nick will do if Greg started a fight, a huge one like all their fights before that had started out about nothing, but had really been about everything. He doesn't want to though because being wrapped up in Nick's arms is the only place he feels safe.

"You should tell the PD." Nick whispers into his ear one night.

"About?" Greg says.

He's trying to play it off, but he knows he's not fooling Nick. Not Nick who knows him better than anyone else in the world. Not Nick who has his arms wrapped so tight around Greg as if he knows everything that's running around in his head and he's trying to chase it all away.

"You know what about, G."

"I... he hasn't done anything."

"It doesn't matter. He doesn't care. He saw me look at him the other day and he didn't care."

It startles Greg a little because he though he had been the only one who could see him. Thought it had all been in his own head because of the guilt. In hindsight, he realizes he should have probably figured out that the guy was stalking him, waiting to get him alone so he could exact his revenge. Eye for an eye and all that biblical jazz.

But Greg's still being hesitant. Hasn't slept because it all haunts his dreams, worse than any accused child killing burned guy. Looks around everywhere and he knows it's paranoia, but anyone could be lurking in the shadows, waiting to get him. Hasn't even had sex with Nick in God knows how long and he knows that's pretty stupid, but he can't help it.

He knows it's not a movie. Knows it's real and that's probably what makes it scarier.

"They wouldn't be able to do anything, Nick." Greg whispers back.

"He's stalking you."

Greg knows how much Nick hates the feeling of being watched. Hates it more than Greg ever could and he wonders if he should just go back to his apartment. Not subject Nick to all the stares and the watching, but he doesn't think he's strong enough to do this on his own.

Nick's had his back for such a long time. Has been watching him since this whole thing started with those concerned eyes, jaw set and determined on something that only Nick knows about. Greg's heard about the punch, saw him in the courtroom and he's surprised that Nick's the one that testified. That the DA let him, but Greg had just been happy that he had been there that he hadn't asked unnecessary questions.

"I just want this to be over with." Greg whispers.

Turns in Nick's arms and buries his face in Nick's chest. Smooth, soft, skin in his face and he wants to just curl up and stay there for the rest of his life.

This thing with Nick is technically new, but not really because they've been working on it for years. Trying to find just the right fit and Greg remembers running at this point. Hadn't mattered who did the running, sometimes it had been him, sometimes it had been Nick, but there had usually been running.

No one's running now though. Not Nick who's burying his face in Greg's hair and rubbing soothing circles on Greg's back, light touches and he's careful of the scarred skin there.

He's not going to run either. Can't really because he's too scared to. Too scared of what's on the outside, of who's on the outside waiting for him if he leaves. It has everything to do with Nick and nothing at the same time.

"I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. Not again." Nick says, determined tone in his voice and Greg wants to believe him.

Believe that Nick's the guy that's going to save him from the demons, but even Nick's not a superhero though he's certainly good looking enough to be on the cover.

"They're gonna keep coming."

"I'd like to see ‘em try." Nick murmurs into Greg's hair.

"They're not real." Greg says.

"Yes they are. That guy, the kid's brother... he's real Greg. And he's following you... following us. If he comes near you..."

There's pain in Nick's voice and Greg knows he's been trying to keep it together. Trying really hard to be the strong one during this whole thing because Greg needs him to be, but Greg knows it must be tough for him.

"I don't want them to be real."

"I know. I wish I could make them go away."

"You do." Greg says.

They're still there, sure. Nick could never get rid of them fully and Greg's beginning to realize that he'll never be able to get rid of them fully. But Nick helps. Just by being there he helps.

"Not enough." Nick says.

Greg lifts up his head. Stares into Nick's eyes and kisses him lightly on the lips, hand pulling Nick's hand into his own until their fingers are entwined and Nick's gotten with the program enough to kiss Greg back, long deep kisses that leave Greg wanting more, now.

"It's enough, you're enough." Greg whispers between kisses and Nick just keeps kissing.

Moans a bit and pushes his body against Greg's, hands sliding down Greg's sides and back and Greg arches into it. Has to arch into it.

"We don't have to do this." Nick whispers against his lips.

Greg has to remember to thank him for being so patient because Greg certainly hadn't been this gun shy after the attack. It's only recently after court and the bathroom and the garage and all the places in between that he's been nervous.

"Yes we do." Greg says.

"I just want you. It doesn't matter."

"I need it."

"Anything you want."

"I want you."

"Okay, okay, babe, I'm right here. I'll take care of you."

Greg doesn't know how they got here, doesn't much care with Nick's big hands on his smooth skin and then Nick's fingers pushing inside of him, getting him ready for Nick's cock.

It's slow, almost too slow and Greg doesn't know when Nick's fingers changed into Nick's cock, but he just doesn't care because it's Nick. Nick all around him and inside him and he's going to cling on for as long as he possible can.

Crazy psycho movie killers and vengeful brother be damned.

It almost doesn't matter. The world could come crashing down and Greg doesn't think he'd miss a beat of this. This slowly, lazy fucking and the litany of words pouring out of Nick's mouth. The words that are supposed to be comforting, but Greg only gets the intent because his mind is so far gone that he can't make out the syllables.

It ends, and Greg knew it would have to eventually even if he didn't want it to, with Nick's hand on his cock, pulling and stroking till Greg comes all over his hand, shouting and moaning and bucking against Nick's cock. And Nick's coming to, eyes going shuddery and Greg feels that warm pulse of cum spurt inside him.

"You okay?" Nick asks, face buried in the crook of Greg's neck and he's lying half on top of Greg and half on the bed.

Their legs are entwined and Nick's still stroking his side lightly.

"Better."

"You should sleep." Nick says kissing his neck.

"I can't sleep."

"Not even after that."

Greg smiles a little at that.

"Well maybe after that. I haven't gotten that much sleep lately though."

"I noticed."

"I close my eyes and I see it and I can't..."

"Shh." Nick says.

He starts planting kisses all over Greg's face, whispering those comforting words again and Greg really wants to steal a little bit of his strength for himself.

"Go to sleep."

"I..."

"Don't worry about it. I'll keep the monsters away."

Greg knows that's impossible, but he sleeps anyway.

FIN