Title: My Addiction
Author: cjacsifan
Pairing: Catherine/Sara
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: CSI is owned by CBS and Jerry Bruckheimer
Summary: Sara is an addict.
Spoilers: minor ones for 'Bloodlines', 'Crash And Burn' and 'Grave Danger'
A/N: Story is from Sara's P.O.V.

My name is Sara Sidle and I'm an addict. 

Oh I'm not the kind of addict that takes drugs, I saw enough of that when I was a kid and my parents would light up a joint or a bong almost every night, thankfully they put me upstairs in my room before they lit up, but I could still smell it when I woke up for school the next day, but luckily I was able to keep my clothes from smelling like marijuana, because if they had I would have been taken away from my parents...who knows maybe that might have saved me from the years of abuse I took in my teen years, but that's water under the bridge.

I did have a drinking problem for awhile, I guess that might be due to the work I do as a CSI; seeing man's inhumanity to man and the number of ways pain that can be inflicted on the human body.  I have Grissom to thank for getting me sober, because if it hadn't been for him coming to my aid after I was picked up for a DUI, I might have never gotten the help I needed to get and stay sober.

No, my addiction doesn't come from the need of something but someone...and that someone is Catherine Willows.  It didn't start out for us very good, just by her demeanor and mannerisms toward me I knew she hated me, she would make snide remarks about me, my work habits, and even my close relationship to Grissom.

It was after I broke up with my then EMT boyfriend Hank Pedigrew, to whom I was actually the 'other woman' because Catherine saw him in a picture with the victim of a case where an old lady drove her car through the window of a restaurant accidentally...we think... and injured many people and even killed a few, well to make a long story short, I confronted him on this and he admitted that I was his 'thing on the side' as he called it and there and then is when I got to know the real Catherine; the caring, sweet, loving, friend that she became.  We even went out on a few dates, and I was falling hard and fast but was too afraid to tell her because I was unsure if her feelings were the same as mine.

I was happily surprised to find out that she did feel the same way I did and we professed our love to one another; this was right after Nick got kidnapped and Grissom had the whole team looking for him, and once we did I guess Catherine figured she'd better tell me before something happend to one of us...that is why she is my addiction.

She is my addiction because I can never get enough of her tiny caresses of my body when she thinks no one at the office is paying attention, I can never get enough of looking into those crystaline blue eyes and seeing how much she loves me, I get weak when she doesn't give me a tiny wink before we leave for crime scenes if we aren't on the same case, or the fix of a sweet kiss before we leave the locker room before shift, or the fix of a hug when she can see that I'm about to lose control when a case affects me the wrong way.

My favorite fix of my addiction is when Catherine and I get home to the house we share and know that Lindsey is gone, we make passionate love for hours and hours, until we pass out not only exhausted from our marathon love making but our night at work has finally caught up to us and we fall blissfully asleep in each other's arms. The high I get from that is undescribably amazing.

Yes I, Sara Sidle am an addict, but I do not plan on giving up my favorite drug, The love I get from Catherine Willows, anytime soon.