Title: Rubbing Off
Author: amazonqueenkate
Pairing: Nick Stokes/Bobby Dawson
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Theme: #6: the space between dream and reality.
Warnings: regret; personality differences; dreams; frats; high school
Disclaimer: Seriously, if only. Author's Notes: Inspired by the fact I had a very, very angsty evening.

Nick Stokes is the kind of person Bobby Dawson wishes he could have known when he was younger.

Bobby thinks about this, sometimes, when he gets the alumni magazine from his college's public relations office, or when his mother forwards him another newspaper clipping about the great things his high school classmates have accomplished in their lives. He wishes he would have known someone like Nick Stokes in that former life, instead of the gaggle of kids at his backwater high school or small-town college.

Because Nick can separate his personality into manageable chunks. He's not all wrapped up in one aspect of himself. He can be the CSI one minute, the sensitive sympathizer the next, a tough guy when he's playing basketball with Warrick but a soft-spoken, tender-hearted lover when he catches Bobby for a kiss. He's not a constant, stoic human being, and Bobby adores that.

Nick Stokes would have never been the token gay kid in a class of a hundred. He would have never been laughed out of rushing for a frat on account of being a "fag." And maybe, just maybe, that would have rubbed off on Bobby, had they known each other earlier.

==

Bobby Dawson is the kind of person Nick Stokes wishes he could have known when he was younger.

Nick thinks about this, sometimes, when his frat brothers come to town and want to go to a topless bar, or when his sisters prod him about getting married and having children sometime in the great, nebulous future. He wishes he would have known someone like Bobby Dawson in that former life, instead of the close-minded morons at his top-of-the-line high school and fancy-pants college.

Because Bobby can be who he is without having any regrets. He doesn't shove a corner of his personality into the back of the closet. He's not afraid to wear his sexuality on his sleeve, to go to gay bars and flirt, to speak up against bigoted legislation, and to stand up for every aspect of his personality. He's not so afraid of what everyone else will think that he abandons who he actually is, and Nick adores that.

Bobby Dawson would never have slept with his prom date to prove a point. He would have never have kept a secret stash of gay porn under his frat house mattress while making out with a chick on top of it. And maybe, just maybe, that would have rubbed off on Nick, had they known each other earlier.

==

Neither man ever tells the other what they're think. Bobby thinks it's silly; Nick thinks it's embarrassing. Their separate thoughts are just two sets of awkward dreams that won't come true.

But Bobby drinks beer and cheers with the guys when Nick hosts a football party, and Nick writes a letter to their Congressman about gay marriage. It's not everything, but it's something, and - more than wishes of what might have been - it's real.